www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2017 MAN: I want men digging here, here and here, okay? Make sure you get that done, okay? MAN 2: Gentlemen, we are in danger. There is a storm coming. My men are terrified. We must leave! That tomb is here somewhere. I can feel it. Please, Robert, it's been two months. -Archie, I'm not stopping! -Dad! Dad! What's going on with this wind, Pop? - C.J, go wait in the truck. - I don't want to just wait in the truck. I said go. Windows up. Robert! (groans) Aah! (coughing) Help! Help! (coughs) (suspenseful music) ROBERT: C.J! Are you all right? - Yeah, I'm fine. - I'm coming down. (grunts) Yes! (chuckles) (laughing) I looked for the tomb of Ahkmenrah for 20 years, and what do you do? You fall right into it. (laughter) Amir, start loading the trucks. Mr. Fredericks, there is no time. The storm is almost upon us. Well, then, you'd better hurry. -Come on, everybody works. -(speaking Arabic) -(shouting in Arabic) -(screams) Hey! What is the matter with you, huh? (speaking Arabic) He said, "We must leave this place immediately." "If anyone disturbs this tomb..." "...the end will come." "The end will come." We load the trucks. (speaking Arabic) (men shouting) I can't help feeling we're making a terrible mistake! We're not making a mistake. We're making history! Don't worry! C.J, let's go! "The end will come." (echoing pounding) WOMAN: Welcome, everyone, to the grand reopening of the newly renovated Hayden Planetarium, here at the Museum of Natural History. New York's glitterati have all turned out for what has promised to be a memorable evening, filled with the dazzling special effects and technical wizardry we've all come to admire from this museum and its renowned Night Program. Tonight gonna be fun-fun! Here come Dum Dum! - Hey, how we doing, Sac? - Rexy is waxed and buffed. -Okay. -Teddy is grooming his moustache. Oh, and I reviewed fire safety procedures with the primordial men. By the way, have you seen them lately? -The museum has added a new one. -What? No. Oh, and make sure the centurions stretch, all right? They really went for it in the dress rehearsal, and they're just not used to those kind of dance moves. Okay, everybody. Everybody, listen up. I don't want to make anybody nervous, but the mayor and the governor are both out there, and, uh, I'm not a hundred percent sure, but I think Regis Philbin, too. - (gasps) Reeju Philbo? - Yeah, Reeju Philbo. Okay, Rexy, do me a favour. Watch the tail, okay? There's gonna be open flame. Dexter, how you doing, my man? All limbered up? Looking good. I like the tie. Got kind of a Chippendales thing going on. All chalked up, ready to go? Good. Okay, everybody, -relax and have fun, okay? -Larry. You better come see this. - Have you ever seen it like this before? - Never. This corrosion, it's never happened before. It's always been exactly the same. I wonder what's up with it. I have no idea. And, to be honest, my father knew the secrets of the tablet better than I did. Unfortunately, he swore he'd never reveal them. He never did. (gasps) -(groaning) -Whoa! You okay? Yes. -Yes, I'm fine. -Okay. Just take it easy out there tonight, all right? You got 15 minutes till showtime. - We're gonna figure this out tomorrow. - All right. -(laughter) -Look at that! Doggone it! Did you see that? They're trying to catch the light. I know. But you can't do it, boys! You can't catch light! It's as elusive as human happiness. I should like to comment. Summon the apparatus. Summon the apparatus! What are you gonna say? L. O. L. "Laugh out loud." Yeah, that's what I did. Now, post these adorable kittens with my edict of approval -to Facebook. -Yeah. Yeah, and gi-give a big Texas "hell yeah" from old Jedediah, 'cause I loved it, too! - Just, uh, send a smiley face. - Yeah, but-but with a wink. A smiley face and a wink! -Guys, what are you doing? -We're, uh... we're just watching kittens. You're on in like five minutes. You got to focus here. - I told you, we don't have time for this. - You gave it a Texas "hell yeah." - Hey, Teddy, ready to roll? - Indeed, Lawrence. -Great. -Battle of San Juan Hill, cool as a cucumber. Right now, butterflies like you wouldn't believe. - You're gonna be great. - Lawrence? - Yeah. Have you seen the Neanderthals lately? - No. Why does everybody keep talking about this? - You may want to give it a look. (Neanderthals grunting) Hey, guys, what's going on? (grunting continues) Okay. All right, very funny. That's hilarious. All right, that's all right. You don't have to come down. It's okay, really. Hi. How are you? I'm Larry. - I'm Laaa... - You're "Laaa"? -Laaa. -Laaa. Okay, well, nice to meet you, Laaa. Welcome aboard, and... Yes, we look similar. Yeah, we look like each other, I know. It's a joke that somebody played. Dr. McPhee had you made to look like me. Um, it's just a... And... - (squeals) - Stop it. Stop, okay? - (softly): Dada? - What? - Dada. - No, not your dada. No, not your dada. - Yeah, Dada. -Dada. -Stop. -Dada! -Dada! -Dada! -No, I'm not his... I'm not your dada. Dum Dum got a new son-son! -No, he doesn't. -(groaning) - Dada! - ALL: Dada! McPHEE: A toast to our new chairwoman. Cheers, everyone. Cheers. Cue the music. And Teddy in three, two... (applause) Since 1869, when I was a mere boy of 11, this museum has been a shining beacon to our great city. Tonight we'll expand our horizons even further, to the sun, the moon and the stars. From our very beginning, mankind has looked to the heavens and given names to what he saw. The constellations. I thought you might like to meet them. Cue the constellations. (crowd gasping and murmuring) (chuckles) (gasping, murmuring) (chuckles) Orion, the hunter. (crowd gasping and murmuring) - (gasps) - What? -(squeals) -(laughter) All planned, all planned. Knew that was gonna happen. So, yeah. TEDDY: Perhaps our primitive ancestors gazed upon these same constellations... Good, good, good. Going great, guys. Going great. All right, let's drop the silks. And go with the monkey. (crowd murmuring) -What? -(laughter) (cheering) That's what I do. TEDDY: Thank you for your patronage and for your unwavering support of this fine institution. This newly renovated planetarium will serve as a lens through which to view our cosmos and our place in the universe. None of this would have been... (distorting): None of this would've been... (laughs hysterically) (speaking gibberish) (distorted): "Once more unto the breach, dear friends!" -What? -(gibberish continues) -Charge! -(screaming) - It's okay! Just hang on a second. - Is this a part of it? Sorry, folks. A little technical issue. Teddy, what are you doing? -Stick to the script. -What? -Stick to the script! -Huh? -It's me. -I don't know you. (men shouting) (screaming) I don't know what's come over me, but I like it! - Drop them! - (screaming) (laughing) Yeah! Yeah! (bellowing) What's going on? Do something! (screaming) (groaning) What are you doing? (grunting) Orion, don't! -(laughs) -(screaming continues) Rexy! (bellowing) Guys, what was going on out there? Seriously, what were you thinking? - Okay, Laaa, - Oh. - I got this, all right? Just... -just go over there. -(groans) No, go over there. Go. Attila, what were you doing to that dolphin, man? It's a dolphin. It's one of the most peaceful creatures on earth, and you're hacking into it like... like it was The Cove or something. Did you see the look on Regis Philbin's face? - Reeju? - Yeah, man, Reeju. And, Teddy, what-what were you doing pointing a gun at me? Forgive me, Lawrence. I don't know what came over me. - Do you even remember that? - Not at all. -(electrical buzzing) -(Laaa screaming) Laaa, put that down! It's a defibrillator. Put it down. It's dangerous! Laaa, that's electricity. Those aren't headphones. Stop it! What are y... Oh! Hey! Hey! Whoa! Dexter! What are you doing? -(chittering, blows raspberry) -Huh? Honestly, if you're gonna act like a baby, then I'll get you some diapers. - You want diapers again? Huh? - Whoa, whoa! Now, ease up on the reins there, hoss. Can't you see? He feels terrible! -Hell, we all do! -You know what? I don't know what's going on with everybody here, but tonight was really weird. Really weird. OCTAVIUS: We feel awful, Larry. Something took hold of us like an evil spell. JEDEDIAH: Yeah, l-like we just weren't ourselves. (groaning) (cell phone ringing) LARRY: Hello? McPHEE: Larry. -Hey. Dr. McPhee. -Yeah, hi. How's it going? -(elevator bell dings) -Uh, okay. Good, good, good, good, good, good, good. You know that sound of when you're hiding in a trash bin, fearing for your life because a Tyrannosaurus rex is using it as a Hacky Sack? - No. I don't know that sound. - You don't know that sound? Oh, hold on one second. That's the sound. -(clanging) -That's the sound! It will haunt my dreams! I'm sorry. Look, really, I'm sorry. I-I swear to you, I had no idea - this was gonna happen. - "No! No, no idea... "I had no idea it was gonna happen! I'm only in charge of all the special effects." -(elevator bell dings) -It was your fault! They were your special effects! -No, I-I know. Some.... -That's a joke. "Special effects." -(muffled music playing loudly) -More like "special defects." -(laughs hysterically) -Look, I promise you, I'm gonna find out what happened, all right? -Or they were "special rejects." -Okay, you know what? I'm sorry, Dr. McPhee. I got to go. (whooping) (dance music playing) Hey! Nicky! Nicky! Stop hopping! -(music stops) -Dad! - (crowd groans) - Dad, what are you doing? - What are you doing? It's 3:00 a.m. All right, party's over! -Hey. -Hey. - Who are you? - I'm Sophie. - Sophie? -Bye-Bye Birdie? -Right. -It was good. Yeah. -Thanks. -See you tomorrow night? -Probably not. -Probably. -Definitely not. -Bye. -Bye. - You're in so much trouble. - I know. - I didn't really know you were coming home early. - Yeah, that's pretty obvious. I mean... What makes you think this is okay? When I'm not at Mom's, you leave me alone like every night, you know? Look, you can't be doing this right now. You got finals, your NYU application is due in what, two weeks? - Well, I'm not gonna get into NYU. - You don't know that. - No, I do. -You don't know that. -I do very much know that, in the sense that I don't intend to apply. - What? - I don't think that it's the place for me right now, Dad. Okay. All right, fine. You want to spread your wings a little, -get out of the city, go to school somewhere else? -Yeah! Okay. I totally support that. All you had to do was tell me. So where do you want to go? What's-what's the list? Uh, it-it's a short list. Great. I like it. Focus. I'm gonna hit you with a super short list, man, 'cause it's... there's nothing on it. (sighs) There's... Okay. I'm confused, 'cause there's not a list... Dad? Mm-hmm? I want to take a year off. I would like to do exactly what you just said. I want to spread my wings. You want to spread your wings, that's great, but you can't spread your wings and fly to nowhere. -Plans change. -No, they don't. No, they don't. Plans don't change. - We had a plan. It changed. It's disorienting at first... - No, no. You can't change the plan unless you check with the people who are financing the plan, which is, last time I checked, your mother and I. Okay? Dad, we could sit here and just have this conversation about plans, but for now, let's call it a night. Let's not even clean up, right? Let's come back tomorrow, let's reboot the whole energy, the whole tone of this puppy, -(scoffs) -and we'll kill it, man. Team Daley. Not tonight; tomorrow. -Hey, Team Daley? -Yeah? -Stop talking. - (whispering): Okay. - You're gonna clean up, I'm gonna go to bed, and then we're gonna finish this conversation tomorrow. Yeah! Get some! -(elevator bell dings) -Get some! Hi. I'm Larry Daley. I'm head of the Night Program. I know who you are. You're the security guard. Yeah, also head of the Night Program. I'm doing some research, and I was wondering if you could help me out. Mmm. Night guard doing research. Ooh-la-la. Yeah. Uh, I'm just looking for anything that you might have on the tablet of Ahkmenrah. - Centre aisle. - Great. - Halfway down, stacks on your left. (groans) Get it! So, what makes you so curious about the tablet? Oh, just, uh... Just a hobby, you know? Kind of an interest of mine. Wish I could talk to these guys. Well, you can't. -Yeah. -'Cause they're dead. Right. But, uh... Look at that... that one. Looks like a kid, huh? (chuckles) (sighs) You didn't know him, did you? C.J Fredericks. -He worked here. -He worked here? - Yeah, when he grew up. - No. - Yeah. He was a night guard. Same as you. Wait a minute. C.J. C.J Fredericks. - Cecil Fredericks? - Sexiest night guard we ever had. Present company included. Boy, could that man move. (disco music playing) - Larry? - Hey, Cecil. -My God, it's been years! -Yeah. - You look like you're doing pretty good. - Oh, I've still got it, pal. - What are you doing here? - I need to talk to you about the tablet. What the heck is Short Stack doing here? Hey, Gus. You're looking well. - Reginald. - What, are you here to frame us again? - Send us back to the slammer? - Okay, I didn't frame you. You were actually stealing. And I was the one that got you out of jail, so... Larry, we've got a nice life here. You know, the past is the past. We've moved on. - I don't think this guy's moved on. - Listen to him, monkey face. REGINALD: We've put all that tablet stuff behind us, Larry. - It's old news. - Besides, we really never knew anything about that old tablet. - We just worked there. - Something's up with it. I told you, I can't help you. Well, maybe this kid can. Maybe we'd better talk alone. Expedition like that's... pretty amazing thing for a 12-year-old boy. I tried to move on, but there was something about that tablet. It's turning green, like some sort of corrosion. And something's happening to Teddy and Dexter, Jed and Octavius. They're all... They're all acting weird. It's like the green rust is affecting them. "The end will come." What? The locals, they-they warned us. They begged us to leave that tomb alone. I mean, I thought it meant the end of the world. But maybe it meant the end... End of the magic? We should've listened. Should've listened. Instead, we shipped Ahk and the tablet off to New York, and his folks to England. Wait, wait. Ahkmenrah's parents are in England? It was a joint expedition. Some of the artefacts stayed in Egypt. The rest was divided up between New York and the British Museum. Ahk said that his father knew the secrets of the tablet. I think I have to go talk to him. - I need you to listen to me. - Uh, our esteemed chairwoman asked for my resignation. She said, since the Night Program was my brainchild, that the buck starts and stops with me. -I can fix it. -How? I need you to let me take the tablet and Ahkmenrah to London. Are you... Sorry. Just processing that. (imitates rewinding tape) (in robotic voice): Input data analysis. I've just told you I'm being fired, and the first thing you ask is if I'd allow you to take some priceless artefacts away with you on holiday. -Yes. Please. -No... -way... Jose. -Just, I'm asking you to please go with me on this. -Please. -Nah. Can't do it, dude. Bye. - Look. - Are you gonna mug me? - What? - What? I don't know. Just be prepared. - No. - Just, I need you to listen to me. - Ah. Yep. - Okay? - Okay, you want to know the truth? - Go on. Truth is, the tablet... The tablet is actually magic. Things really do come to life at night. - It's special effects. - It's not special effects. - Course it's effects. -How could it be special effects? -How could it not be special effects? - Because it isn't! - Of course it is. - I'm telling you, this is what happens. - What? Sun goes down, the tablet starts to glow... ...everything comes to life. - Sure. - It's real. "Tablet starts to glow." Now I know you're mental. - Look, Leslie, listen to me. - Aah! - What? - Look, I'm not gonna hurt you. - I know. Just... -Look. -What? - Listen. Nobody cares about this place as much as we do, right? - Yeah. If you don't help me, everything that's special about it might stop, and it may never come back. I'm not asking you to understand. I'm just asking you to trust me. I'd like to help you, but I don't even work here anymore. British Museum doesn't know that. The mummy and the tablet, both. Classic conservation job, under authority of me, of course, the director of this museum, which I still am. Yep, okay. Ciao. # London calling to the underworld # Come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls # London calling, and I don't wanna shout # But while we were talking, I saw you nodding out # London calling... # You know, I really could've just stayed by myself in New York. Yeah. No, that wasn't gonna happen. -Beautiful, huh? -Yeah. The River Thames. Isn't this cool, man? -You and me in London? Huh? -Yeah. Hey, I've been thinking about that, uh... year off. Yeah? I think it could be cool. -Yeah? -Yeah. What are you thinking? Yeah. Uh, wow, I... I think I want to deejay in Ibiza. In Ibiza? - Ibiza? It's a small island off the coast of Spain. - Do you speak Spanish? - No. But that's the beautiful thing. - Right. It's about the music. It... it's not inhibited by the language barrier. - No, but you are. I mean, do you speak in beats? - Dad, why are you freaking out? - You just said this was a really cool idea. - I'm not freaking out-- I just want to understand what the plan is. You didn't go to college. Wait, now we're talking about not going to college at all? -Maybe. I don't know. -Nicky. Nicky... -that's not... -Dad, you didn't go to college. You turned out fine. I turned out okay after about 20 years and a lot of dead ends. Dad, whatever, man. Don't worry about me. It's fine. - Hey, I'm always gonna worry about you. I'm your dad, all right? - Thanks. - The sun's going down. We should get going. -All right. NICK: Dad, what's the plan here, anyway? LARRY: When the tablet brings Ahkmenrah to life, he's gonna sneak us in. Now, get down. NICK: What? LARRY: Just get down! Come on, man. Part of the adventure. Hello. Welcome to the British Museum. -My name's Tilly. -Hi. Thank you. Uh, I'm Larry Daley, from, uh, Natural History, New York. -Yeah, yeah. -I got a delivery for your conservation department. All right! So they... they let you travel? - Well, this is kind of unusual. - Yeah, well, they let me travel. You know where? -No. -Home... here... home... back here... off to the toot-toot. - Five-minute maximum. (exhales sharply) - (fake chuckle) So that must be, like, well, wicked being a security guard in America, -Uh... -with your gun, with the silencer, with your ninja swords. -Right. -(imitates swords whooshing) - That's not even a little bit true. - You know, the only thing that I got... is this. -Oh. -# Hammer. # It's for, and I quote, "minor repairs and beautifications to the shack." Oh. You just hit things? (hammer tapping) - Yeah, that's catchy. - Basically worthless. Can't believe we're actually still talking. -It's great, though, isn't it? -It is. This is, like, the most conversation I've had in, like, the three years that I've worked here. I feel a connection, too. Is it, uh, cool if I just, uh, make my drop and... -Oh, yeah. -Wonderful. - But I will have to confirm. - Okay, actually, that's not necessary, 'cause they've already confirmed it on the, um... on the slip I gave you. Yeah, all right. Confirming. -Okay. -All right. MAN (over phone): Hello? This is Dr. McPhee. Oh, yeah, it's the British Museum, sir. I'm just confirming a delivery to our conservation department. McPHEE: Yes. I signed the paperwork. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a museum to run. You, boy, get those grubby fingers off my Ming vase. See? Bye. All right. - Good? - All right, you is legit. - I is legit. Wonderful. Thank you. - Confirm it. -All right. I'll open the gate. -Okay. TILLY: Yeah, so, like, my boyfriend, he doesn't really like the way I do my hair. Says it looks like a golden poo, like, sitting on my shoulder. But, like, I really enjoy it. Mm-hmm. Bye, Larry! (snoring softly) (soft snoring continues) I'm not an expert, but this is feeling just really against the law. No, they have, like, a totally different legal system here. Okay. - How we doing? - All clear. - All right, let's go. - Larry, the others felt perhaps we could use some help. - The others? Lawrence! I couldn't sit idly by. Our very survival is at stake. All right. Hey, Teddy, good. Good man to have in a crisis. Attila. Okay, a little muscle. SACAJAWEA: Hi, Larry. That is a deceptively large... box. OCTAVIUS: Obviously, we came along, too! JEDEDIAH: You know you'd be lost without us, Gigantor. - Are you serious? - (chattering) - And the monkey. All right, basically everyone. - (squawks) Dada! - Oh, no, no. But... No possible benefit whatsoever to... -(Laaa squawks) -Really wanted to come. (sighs) Yeah, this is my son, my actual son, Nicky. Nicky, this is... - (Laaa squawks) - Laaa. - (low grunt) - He's just tracking me. - (grunting, blabbing) -Laaa. -(low grunt) So, Lawrence, what's the plan of attack? Uh, okay, we need to get to the Egyptian wing, find Ahk's father and, hopefully, -get the tablet fixed. -Huh? -All of us. -(high-pitched grunts) -LAAA: Mmm... -Laaa, that's not for eating. That's not food. Don't... All right, you know what? I got a job for you. Come on, come on. Come on. Now, I want you to stay here, watch this door, okay? You make sure nobody comes in or out. Okay? - Good. You're gonna be a guard, just like me. -(squawks) All right, good. No. Come here, come here. You stay here... and put your hands on the door. -Good. Stay. -Stay! - Good. That's right, you stay here. - (grunts "stay here") Stay. Right. -Stay! Stay! -Stay. - Look there. Good. - (Laaa grunts) - Stay... -No. Good. Stay... -(squawks) -No. Stay. -(grunts) - D... Don't move. - (grunts "don't move") - No. - (squawks) - Good. Okay. Okay, listen up, guys. This place is waking up for the first time, and we have no idea what's out there, so stay together, all right? (Attila speaking Hunnish) LARRY: I know it's spooky, big guy. Just stay close. (Dexter chittering) JEDEDIAH: What kind of haunted hootenanny is this, boys? We're all finding this super creepy, right? They're just a little freaked out. First time we came alive, it took some getting used to. Hey, there. Just, uh, just heading to Egypt. Come on, this way. (chittering) (distant rumble) -Hear that? -Hear what? That. We'll just be down here if anyone needs us. Yeah, we're not scared. It's just more comfortable. TEDDY: Lawrence, I think it's safe to say that we're in a bit of trouble. I know how to handle this guy. -You mind? -(snorting) -Thanks. -Dad, what are you doing? How do you think I tamed your pal Rexy? Hi, there. I bet you're not so mean, are you? Huh? I bet you're not so mean. No, you're just a little puppy, right? You're just a little puppy who wants to play. You want to play, huh? Want to play fetch? Yeah? You want to play with this bone? - Ah, yeah. - (whimpering) - Here you go. Go fetch. Go fetch! (gagging) -Lawrence. -Yeah? -May I suggest a different plan? -What? -(bellowing) -Run! (gasping, whimpering) (bellows) Close it, close it! (panting) LARRY: Okay. I think we're... (groaning) Get back! Everybody, get back! (dinosaur growls) (snorts) - All right. You don't want to fetch? Fetch on this. - What? (yells) (grunting) -Oh, that's close! -Need some help? -What? Move. (grunting) (laughs) (Attila speaking Hunnish) -Whoa! -(groans) Attila, you okay? (grunting) (laughs) (grunts) -You might want to, uh... -No. -(bellows) -Here, hold this. (grunts) (whimpering) Okay, that was actually very cool. - Sir Lancelot, at your service. - Thank you. That was amazing. TEDDY: Theodore Roosevelt, President of the United States of America. I have no idea what that means. I'm Larry, and this is my son, Nick. - You have a noble face, Nick. - Thanks. - Thanks for the help. Now, you... You remind me of a man I once knew at Camelot. Really? One of the, uh, the Knights of the Round Table? No. Erik. Erik? Our fool. He was the funniest fool I ever met. He was so good, he didn't even have to do anything. - He could just walk into a room, and you'd laugh. - (chuckles) - You have what he had. The gift. - That's weird. -You could be a fool. -Well, I don't know about that. Oh, come on, of course you could! We'd get you one of those hats with the, you know, with the funny little dangly bells on it. - Dangly bells? - (laughs) (chuckles) "Dangly bells." Didn't I tell you? The gift. He does what seems like, seems like nothing, a sort of deadpan, tiny little, "hmm." Sort of, "hmm." Expressionless, you know, sort of a "hmm, hmm, hmm-mm" sort of thing. It's too... Just like Erik. Sounds like a great guy. We got to get going, so... - Ah, Camelot. - Oh, okay. - Someday, I shall return to its mighty towers, to King Arthur and Queen Guinevere. Sweet, beauteous Guinevere. But I'm sworn not to until I have completed my quest. I must find the Holy Grail. Hmm. Well, good luck with that. And thanks for the help again. We got to get to Egypt, so we'll see you. -I will lead you. -No, it's okay. Halt, Dangly Bells! There is strange magic in the air, and dangerous beasts are afoot. It is the duty of a true knight to protect and care for those in need. We're off. Guess he's coming with us. Larry! - (speaking Hunnish) - Jed and Octavius? - (speaking Hunnish) They must've fallen out while we were running. - Jed? - Octavius! -Jed! -Jedo! -Jed! -Octo! -Jed! Jedediah! -Jed! -Octo! Oh, no. NICK: Is that Octavius's cape? Here. -Nicky. -Yeah. -(distant screaming) -Guys? Aah, Gigantor...! Jed? They won't last long in those heating vents, Lawrence. At their size, they'll bake like tiny little scarabs in the Sinai. Too dark? (screaming) No, no! (screaming continues) This is the end, boy! This is the last roundup! Hold my hand! Why? Never mind. (air system winding down) (groaning) (sputtering) (sighs) Well, we're a long way from home, boy. You asked me to hold your hand? (sighs) No. Mm-hmm. -(squeaks) -Jedo! Octo! (sighs) (speaking Hunnish) They could be anywhere between here and the intake vent. -(chittering) -What do you see, Dex? You know, he's a monkey, Lawrence. He can't talk. No, but he can fit. Nicky, give me your phone. - Why? - For Dex. - I don't understand one thing that's going on here. - NICK: Yeah. No, I don't, either. Dad, what's going on? I'm, uh, sort of set up to track your phone. You're sort of set up to track my phone? You track my phone? Yeah, I'm your dad; I'm looking out for you. No, no. Hold up. "Spying on" is not the same thing as just looking out for someone. You'll get it back, I promise. But right now, it's going on the monkey's back. - All right, now, Dex, come here. - (chittering) Thanks, man. All right, listen. I need you to go down there and find them, all right? - Think you can handle it? - (chittering) Good man. Stay safe. I think it's right here. (laughs) "Right here." Classic. Ah, the gift of laughter. Thank you, Dangly Bells. (animals chittering) First quest? - Uh, not exactly. - I thought you were going to Egypt. We are, but we got to do this first. That's not how a quest works. A quest is one thing. It's not, like, "Holy Grail and a monkey." Yeah, well, my guys are missing and Dexter's gonna find them. LANCELOT: So, what is the quest? Gold? Fountain of Youth? Magic tablet. It's that thing Ahk is holding. Well, it shouldn't be too hard to take it from him. He seems well-toned and lean, but weak. It'd be like taking candy from a feeble Egyptian baby. No, we're not trying to take it; we're trying to fix it. It's... There's something wrong with it. You know what, it's kind of complicated. Well, it might be less complicated if you stopped following a chimpanzee. He's not a chimpanzee; he's a capuchin. (Attila speaking Hunnish) The fool seems agitated. TEDDY: That's often his way. But I assure you, he's no fool. Is it true what he says? The tablet that you carry is magic? It is indeed. Everything around you has come to life tonight for the very first time, all because of this tablet. -(screeching) -(gasping) Amazing. - Then they're not real? - They're as real as any of us. Well, yes, but we're real people. They're just things. And they don't even know. They must be unbelievably stupid. It can be confusing at first. (croaking) Hello, frog! Keep hopping! You're real! Guys, I think we're gonna have to cut through Asia. - Not a clue. - None. But it's hard to let it go. All right, so, this is Tim. 34-year-old male. RTC. Multi-vehicle... VOICES OVERLAP I think about the car crash a lot. I know he caused it and I reacted the best way possible. But it's hard to let it go. SOMBRE MUSIC When I asked what had happened to him, the doctors said he really wore the impact ` any more and things would've been much worse. They said he was lucky ` lucky I wasn't going any faster. Thank you. SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. MUSIC CONTINUES Ah, can't really see much. Could jump down, hope for the best. We-we have no idea what's down there. (distant bellowing) We don't know what's up here, either. (screaming) (chittering) (groaning) This is a Roman city. I can feel the familiar pull of history in its very foundations. Where the heck is everybody? I've seen this town before, I'm sure of it. Romans? - I see you have the name of a lady on your arm. - (chuckles) Andrea. Yeah. So, this Lady Andrea is your Guinevere. Does any man stand between you and your ladylove? Yeah, actually. My dad kind of messed things up the other night. -Nick. -Oh, we're stopping. Let no man stand between you and your destiny. Oh, uh, "destiny" may be overstating it a bit. We just... we have calculus together. It's more one of those, like, fleeting moments of eye contact, "Who's gonna look away first?" kind of... But no, I get you. Yeah. No, for no man... Good. "Iiepwop." Iiepwop. Doesn't ring a bell. MAN (muffled): No! - Now, who's this son of a gun? - (muffled): Pompeii! Pompeii! - I'm sorry. I'm having trouble hearing you! - Pompeii! N-No comprendo, amigo, because you got the thing in front of you! - (crowd screaming) - What are they doing? JEDEDIAH: Where in the blazes are they stampeding off to? Was it something we said?! (growling) -(growling) -(laughter) - Come on back to Iiepwop. There's plenty of room. - Come on back. - They're as crazy as road lizards. - People are strange. Oh, hey, guy. We're just... We're just passing through. - (chittering) - It's a Garuda from Tibet. - A Garuda? - Mmm. - Okay. Hi, Garuda. How you doing? (chittering continues) Cool, great. Okay. Can we just... All right. All right. You know what, buddy? We just got to get through. I don't have time. Please. Okay. (chittering continues) You know what, I'm not gonna play this game with you. I got to go through, really. (low rumbling) (whispering): Get back. (chittering continues) - A dragon. - No, it's not a dragon. It's a... It's a Xiangliu. Mythical snake demon. Well, it looks like a dragon. I say we kill it. What? No, it's asleep. You're right. It's not very sporting to kill it while it's asleep. Let's wake it up, and then kill it. I shall go first, and I shall take the boy. What are you... No. What? You're not gonna take the boy. -Why not? -Because he's a boy! Larry, there comes a time in every man's life when he must slay his own dragon. Yeah, well, not this kid, all right? He still hasn't finished all his thank-you notes from his Bar Mitzvah, - and anyway, that's just... that's a... It's an expression. - Well, not where I come from. Well, he's not gonna slay his dragon right now, okay? We're gonna go around it. We're gonna go around now, or else I'm gonna lose the signal. Come on. Iiepwop. - (muffled): Pompeii! - Iiepwop. Are you sure you're reading that right, pal? Hmm? Pompeii! (low rumbling) Oh. "Pompeii." (screaming) - Whoa! Whoa! - (stammering) - "Ask not what your country can do for you." - Shh! -Teddy, shh! -"Ask what you can do for your country." Whoa. -(speaking Hunnish) -There it goes again. - (screams) - Attila, shh! (stammering) -Teddy! -TEDDY: Charge! Whoa! (bellowing) -(screaming continues) -Fantastic! It's awake. Now we can kill it. Ha-hah! (grunting) (grunting) Whoa! NICK: Dad! Nicky! I'll get the boy! (groaning) - Ever used a blade? - Only in World of Warcraft. - You're about to learn. (grunting) (screaming) (groaning) (grunting) -(gasping) -(screaming) "The only thing we have to fear is fear itself!" (grunting) "Doing a heck of a job, Brownie." (panting) (grunting) -Behind you! -Duck! Last roundup, kemosabe. Time to slap on the barbecue sauce, boy. -(whimpering) -(gasps) What? (bellowing) JEDEDIAH: No, no. No, no, no, no, you wouldn't! (chittering) He must. Clear! (yelling) (giggling) We must never speak of what happened here today. Come on! That wasn't necessary! It's out! (groaning) (panting) These things really do save lives. (chittering) - Are you all right? - (grunts) -Are you all right, my dear? -Uh-huh. - You okay? - Yeah, thanks. You fought bravely, sire. One day, I promise you, we shall drink dragon's blood from the victor's cup. I mean, I'm good with just, like, soda or water, too, man. But, no... But I like the energy we got going. From now on, you must choose your own path. And let no man tell you otherwise. (chittering) We better let Larry know we're okay. Turn around. Larry's probably worried about us. (camera clicks) How are we going to find them now? Lawrence. I fear we've turned a corner. I'm becoming wax again, son. All right, we'll look for them later. We got to get to Egypt now. Wait, shouldn't we keep looking for Jed and Octavius? Nick is right. A true knight never shirks his duties. Yeah, well, if we don't get to Egypt soon, we're not gonna save anybody. and there was a pig in the middle of the road. Anyone over there know anything about it? No, no, mate. Bobby, it's Keith. I was driving along Dundas Ln, and there was a pig in the middle of the road. Anyone over there know anything about it? No, no, mate. You're in a different valley. No one knows a thing. No one? Yeah, you don't know anyone out that way who has pigs? Moa Creek? No, I'm not too sure over there. (SIGHS) You bloody pig. Hey, Michael. It's Keith. So you got the picture? Yeah, it's not mine. You don't know anything about looking after pigs? Not really. I just know they taste all right. (OINKS) (OINKS) COMPUTER CHIMES I got your email about Sue. Yeah, uh, the pig. (CHUCKLES) VAN IDLES (OINKS) GENTLE MUSIC (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES (OINKS) UPLIFTING MUSIC Life's better together, so stay connected on NZ's leading mobile network. Oh, Dada say "stay!" Stay! (sniffing) (sighs heavily) Dada say, "Laaa, no eat." (groans) (sniffing continues) Stay, Laaa. (growling) This is it. Perhaps I should accompany you in. No, I-I think we, uh... I think we got it from here. - Really? - Yeah. No, we're good. Right. Well, friends, Larry, clown-faced keeper of the magic tablet, I shall never forget your bravery nor your jests. Bye. -I shall not say good-bye... -I am. -What? -I'm gonna say good-bye. I have to go. I'm sorry. I'll see you. Really, man, thank you. For everything. I haven't seen these walls for many a moon. Ahkmen? Mother. Oh! Oh! Father. Welcome home, my son. I want you to meet my friends. I am Merenkahre, Pharaoh of the Nile and Father to the Son of the Sun. And I am Shepseheret, the Glittering Jewel of the Nine Kingdoms. And I am Larry. Guardian of Brooklyn. LARRY: Yes. Well, I-I actually... I live in Manhattan now, but... - I know, but it doesn't sound as cool. - Yeah. We would be very honoured if you could take a look at the tablet. There's something happening with it. We don't understand what it is. You are speaking with a pharaoh. Kiss my staff. - Is it okay if I don't? - You will show respect. -I... -I am the descendant of Ra, the sun god. I-I understand that. I... and I totally respect you. I just, I don't pray to Ra, so... The Egyptian gods are the only true gods. Well, we try to stay a little more open-minded. I mean, uh, Sacajawea, she honours her spiritual ancestors, and... you pray to, like, some sort of goat god, Attila, right? Yeah. I'm half-Irish, half-Jewish, so... -(laughs) -You are? I love Jews. - Oh. - We owned 40,000 of them. - Such lovely people. -Here we go. -They were very happy, always singing with the candles. Yeah. They really weren't happy. -Really? -No. They left. They spent about 40 years in the desert, trying to escape. -Oh. -Huh. -Yeah. We have dinner once a year and talk about it. It's a big deal for us. Listen, could you take a look at that tablet? There's something wrong with it. It's losing its power. Well, do you think you could fix it? To do that, I would have to divulge the secret of the tablet. Uh... Well, that... I promise we won't tell anybody. No. -I'll kiss your staff. -Too late. Father, why do you insist on keeping this to yourself? The secret was to be passed down to you at the proper time. Well, it has been 4,000 years. Now seems like a good time. You were born at midnight. (voice-over): I was pharaoh, and I had seen wonders most men only dream of. But when I first gazed upon you, you were instantly more precious to me than all the wonders of the ancient world. I knew I could never bear to say good-bye. I commanded the High Priest to create a gift to you, my son, using all we had learned of the mysteries of the afterlife. Forged in the temple of Khonsu, god of the moon and watcher over nighttime travellers, the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. Our tomb was designed to channel Khonsu's rays down to the tablet, rejuvenating its powers every night. The moon god bestowed his power upon the tablet, so that as long as it bathed in his light, our family could be together forever. Not even death could part us. It's been away from Khonsu's light too long. (gasps, groans) My son! What is happening to you? It needs moonlight. Otherwise, we shall all be dead by sunrise. Hurry! If the tablet dies, nothing can bring it back. -What are you doing? -The tablet. Now. Wait. Wait, no, no, listen to me. That thing is dying, okay? If it doesn't get moonlight, everything ends, like, for real. King Arthur wasted years searching for the Holy Grail. To think it was a tablet all along. Would you just give it to me? You don't know what you're doing! My quest is complete. I ride for Camelot tonight. All right, just keep it, okay? But just put it in the moonlight and turn that centre piece. Sorry, not my first quest. And by the way, Erik was much funnier than you! -All right, go get the others. -Okay. We can't let him leave the building. JEDEDIAH: Whoa! Easy there, partner! Slow it down! I don't know who you are, but I'm pretty dang sure that tablet don't belong to you. (chuckles) Whoa, whoa, now, wait a second! Come back here! This ain't over! You'll rue the day you mocked us with your huge sword and hypnotic blue eyes! His eyes are very blue. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Lawrence, we have a problem. This one turned to wax as well. Well, I have a saying, too. "Speak loudly and carry a bigger stick." (grunting) (grunting) -It's over there! -You mean up there. Come on. (groans) -(grunts) -(screams) Got it. (grunting) - Teddy. - The tablet, now! I shan't ask you again, fool! And this is giving me a headache! Give me the tablet. Let me go, Lawrence. No. Teddy, no. Teddy! There. (grunting) That'll be mine. - Hey, that was a good one. - No idea that would work. (snoring) (grunting over monitor) -Larry! -Hey. You guys, how you doing? -Still in one piece, Gigantor! -Octavius, I think this belongs to you. - Thank you. - I don't understand. Why is Lancelot staying strong while we get weaker? It's his first night. Newborns are stronger, but it matters not. Unless we succeed, he too will be dead come the dawn. We can't let him leave the building. Sir, can you go back to Egypt, in case he comes through there? -Of course. -Nicky, take Attila. Check the loading dock. - Got it. - Teddy, go to the South Wing. Cover the side doors. I got the main entrance. LANCELOT: Hyah! - You! I knew you smelled a bit off! - Didn't you just see that? - See what? What? The knight on the horse that just rode through. Stop trying to distract me with your magical fantasy, 'cause I found your filthy twin here in the freight room! -He's not my twin. -I got him, and what could he say for himself? "Uh... Um, cah..." -(growls) -Shut up! -LANCELOT: Ha-hah! Shut up in your face! Shut up right now! Do you want to be smashed? Wait. Yeah, yeah, you can run, but if you leave those gates, I swear to you, your hideous doppelganger, who looks a lot like the lead singer of the Counting Crows, will get it! Dada. That's right. It compute with him. Dada. - Damn it! - (Laaa shouts) Laaa. You see me do something dumb, don't imitate me, okay? It's basically what I keep telling Nick. He just doesn't get it, you know? I mean, he's a smart kid, but I just want to give him the tools that I didn't have. I mean, get the degree, then take a break. (grunting): Get the degree, then take a break. (screams) Laaa! Laaa, stop that! Stop it! (panting, groaning) (sighs) (sighs) Okay. Just... (both sigh) -(bellowing) -(screams) - What? - Excuse me! Hey! Hi. Hey. Sorry. I'm Nick, this is Dexter, Attila the Hun. Oh, yes, so lovely to meet you. Now meet this hammer. -Don't do that. -What the...? I'm super sorry. I know it's a lot going on. Hun, monkey. Wow, what? So much weird. Huge amount to process. -Right? Okay, sorry. -What's that? -Thank you. -You won't get away with this! I'm making sketches of you in my mind right now! Boy with freckles, fat Asian with hair extensions, evil monkey. I mean, I guess it's just parenting, you know? And he comes from a divorced family, so I'm sure he has a lot of conflicted feelings about me, and, you know, there might be some Oedipal stuff at play in there, or... I get it. I wasn't there a lot of the time. So, then, I think I might be projecting my own guilt and taking it out on him in ways that I'm not even aware of. (Laaa grunts) -Hmm? -(barks) What? -(grunts) -Door. - (barks) - Head. - (grunts) - Okay, I... - (grunts) Open... head. Open your mind. Yes! Yeah, well, you're right. That's the challenge. I mean, it-it is. It's all contextual, and I do, I keep looking at him through the lens of how my parents raised me, when in reality, he's his own person. And, yeah, we share the same DNA, but honestly, he's much more evolved than I ever was. I don't want to let my own ego and childhood history stop him from making the mistakes he needs to make to become the person that he's meant to be. (Laaa shouts) Oh! Open the door with your head. Yes! Oh, good, Laaa. -Let's go. -(groaning) DUB MUSIC PLAYS, PHONE PINGS Hey, the others wanna hang out. Um... Are you sure it's OK if I get a ride? Yeah, yeah. Dad said it's fine. I'm putting on some music. OK. BOTH CHUCKLE, CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Dad! OK, I'm gonna change it. Sorry, but... Yeah. OK. Ooh yeah. Yeah. Turn it up. DUB MUSIC PLAYS, PHONE PINGS Hey, the others wanna hang out. Um... Hey! BOTH LAUGH ALL: # It's time to cut and run. It's time to... TYRES SCREECH # It's time to cut and run. It's time to cut and run. # Oh my God. Get off! Yeah! It's so obvious. So wasted. TRUCK HORN BLARES, GIRLS SCREAM, LAUGH (LAUGHS) TV BEEPS I'll probably drop Libby home after dance so she doesn't have to walk home in the dark. Thanks, Dad. I'll be home a little bit after 10, not too late. I love you guys. Yeah, all good, love. -Everybody okay? -Yes, Lawrence. Attila and your boy secured the lady guard in her booth. I don't know how long it'll hold her, though. All right, we got to find Lancelot, but somebody has to make sure she doesn't get out. (barks) Yeah. Laaa, okay. All right, you know what you have to do? - Stay! - That's right. Just make sure she stays in there. -Stay! -Good! Go! Dada say, "Stay"! Dada say, "Stay"! TEDDY: Lawrence. I can't move my arms. We're becoming less useful by the minute. - (Attila groans) - Whoa, whoa! Hey! Hey, hey! Come on, big guy. What? You okay there? -(panting) -Huh? Okay. Something's up with your eye, but... (speaking Hunnish) - I don't know. It's just kind of going... - (speaking Hunnish) You got to relax, okay? Calm down! Attila! Attila! Hey! - Attila doesn't hyperventilate. - (speaking Hunnish) -You pillage! -Pillage! -You plunder! -(speaking Hunnish) Plunder. You don't freak out. -Okay? -(speaking Hunnish) Dad, there's, like, eight million people in this city. He could be literally anywhere by now. Well, we'll find him. We have to. (crowd chattering) I'm coming, my love. (roaring) Oh, blimey! He came this way, traveling four leagues per hour. -(roaring) -(screaming) (screaming) Never run from a big cat, Lawrence. JEDEDIAH: Gigantor, get your flashlight out! These cats want to play! Whoo-whee! He's got it, boy! (laughter) Well played, sir. JEDEDIAH (laughing): Run! Run! Where the devil could Lancelot be? Come on! You better let me out of here, you revolting ape-man! What are you staring at? Stop looking at me. What, have you never seen, like, a beautiful, attractive, gorgeous woman before who could be a model if she didn't love pizza so much? I know what you're playing at. And it ain't working. Not working. Wait, it is kind of working. (crowd murmuring) What have they done to Camelot? MAN: # In short, there's simply not A more congenial spot # For happily ever-aftering # Than here in Camelot # At long last! Guinevere, my love. -Hi. -Can I, uh... can I help you, mate? It is I, Sir Lancelot. I have fulfilled my quest. Sorry. Um, I'm sorry, but I'm not actually Guinevere. I'm Alice Eve, and I think you've got a bit confused. -Maybe you saw me onstage... -Your voice is like music, but I have no idea what you're saying. Okay. Hey. Hey, man. (snaps fingers) Yeah, hey, buddy. Um, what she's saying is she's not Guinevere because she's an actor. Okay? This... So am I. -(chuckles) -An actor? -Yeah. -Yeah. - Um, you know? - Yeah, do the crown. - Oh, sorry, of course. Hugh Jackman. - It's Hugh Jackman. -(applause) -WOMAN: I love you, Hugh! -(laughter) -Yeah, it was the crown. -Huge Ackman? -Uh... -That's a ridiculous name! It doesn't even sound real! Only a coward would conceal his true identity, Arthur. No, it's Hugh Jackman. I, on the other hand, carry the treasure you sought but could never find. Behold... the key to life everlasting! Okay, love the costume, love the enthusiasm, but you're gonna have to, um, get off stage now. Sir Lancelot, ladies and gentlemen. Sir Lancelot. Yes! -Very good. -Oh, shame on you, Arthur! -(gasps) -You don't deserve your crown, and you don't deserve your queen! -Hey! Oh! -Oh, he's got a sword! Prepare to feel the cold kiss of my blade, Huge Ackman! Hey, buddy, buddy, uh, this is all... This, all pretend. See, just... - Well, that's not real. - None of it is. (crowd murmuring) - It's not real. - I mean, it was a good performance. I... We were right in there, - but it's not real-real. - It's not real. -Not real?! (bellows) -(crowd gasps) Do you know how long I dreamed of Camelot? And for what? For nothing! -(screaming) - Oh, geez! - Nothing! No, no, no, no, no. If you'll please just take your seats and... Everyone just... # You can dance, you can jive. # What's up? We're just as God made us. Why don't you take a picture? It'll last longer. (bellowing) Okay, mate, right, I've tried being nice. That's enough. All right? Get off the stage right now. Stay back! You don't scare me, Huge Ackman. Listen, mate, you don't want to fight me, all right? If we go, I will break you. Come on! (growling) What is that? What are you doing? - He's doing his Wolverine thing. - Yeah. - (growling) - Yeah. - You know? - It's better with the claws and no shirt. - Fair. Lancelot! Lancelot! Hey, buddy, that's not an exit! HUGH JACKMAN: Oh, yeah, no, come on up. Yep. Come on up, bring them on. Oh, monkeys. Terrific. Love the costumes. Sorry. Just got to say, -you're the whole package, man. -Thanks, buddy. -He recognized you. -Yeah, that was awesome. - Hey! Give me the tablet! - Stay back. Stay back. Stand back! Back! What? - Just... - (groaning) - No, your, uh, - your nose, it's... - What? What about my nose? - Your nose is... It's dripping. - What? - It's melting, from the fire. Aah! Whoa! Okay. - How bad is it? - It is not great. - But I'm Lancelot! There never was a Lancelot! Lancelot is a legend. You're not real. You... -I don't understand! -I know. I know it's a lot to take in, but please, just give me the tablet. Oh, and then what? Back to the museum? Stand there as little children ogle and point? And learn, and get inspired to do great things. - There are far less noble fates, my friend. - Not for me, there aren't! If there is no Camelot, there is no Guinevere and no Lancelot, then I'm nothing. I'm-I'm just a sad lump of misshapen wax. Stop looking at my nose! -I wasn't looking at it. -You were. I saw you. You were like this. (stammers) Staring. -I wasn't like that. I was... -You were! Don't look at it! - It really is hard not to look at. - Yes, he is. -What? I didn't. -Ah! I saw you! -No, I'm looking at your eyes. -(chittering) -Monkey, stop it! Could you give me the tablet, please? Give me the tablet. - If you give me the tablet, I promise I won't... - Do not look at my nose! -Give me the tablet. -Look away. - Give me the tablet. - How hard could it be not to look at my nose? I'm not gonna look at your nose. I'm looking... I can't help it! Look to the heavens! - It's disgusting. - Yet he's still handsome. No one shall look at or mention my nose from this moment forward! I'm sorry, I forgot what we were talking about. -(Attila speaking Hunnish) -Whoa! Oh! Whoa! -Whoa! Whoa! -Whoa! -Whoa! Whoa! - Lawrence. - Oh, Teddy! Larry. We've run out of time. Listen to me. You got to straighten the pieces. Straighten the pieces right now, or they're all gonna die! -You, too! -A world without Camelot is not a world worth living in. (screeching) Dad! Dexter, what is it? You all right? Hey. Hey. Hey, man, you okay? Hey, look at me. (squeaks) Yeah, you want to slap me? Go ahead. Go ahead, slap me in the face. (whimpers) Dex? Dexter? Dexter? Oh, no, no. No. Dexter, no. No, no. - Come on, man. - Dad, he's gone. I'll take that hand now. I understand now. The monkey was the quest. It was never about the tablet. It was about them. Forgive me. It is I who have been the fool. (gasps) (panting) - We're back, baby! - Lawrence! - (chittering) - Whoa-ho! Hey! Welcome back, buddy. (whooping) -Well done, Larry! -There he is. That's our guy. Come here! -We're back, boys! -Here's your tablet. OCTAVIUS: It feels good, doesn't it, Jedediah? JEDEDIAH: Boy, you said it! Hey, thank you. (sniffles) How do I look? You look like Lancelot. Well done, my child. (chuckles) Thank you. For bringing my son home safely. It's a strange thing. Seeing your boy become a man. Hmm. Yeah, it's crazy. -(laughter) -One day, they're riding a dinosaur through Central Park, and then the next day, they're DJing in Ibiza. You've served my family well. We shall build a great tomb and bury you with many riches. I personally will see to it that your organs are removed and placed in separate jewel-encrusted jars. Thank you. - SACAJAWEA: It's the right thing to do. - Then we're agreed. Lawrence, -can I have a word? -Yeah. The others and I have been talking. OCTAVIUS: Ahkmenrah's place is here with his family. He must remain here. TEDDY: And the tablet should stay here as well, son. This is where it belongs, Gigantor. Yeah, but it... You guys... That means you guys would have to stay. We belong in New York. (Attila speaking Hunnish) Yeah, but if you... If you guys go, then you... you won't be alive after tonight. We're museum exhibits, Laredo. It's what we are. - (chittering) - Folks come to look at us, maybe learn a little something. That's alive, man. But I'm... I'm supposed to take care of you guys. And you have. It's okay, Lawrence. We're ready. Well, I... I'm not. Let us go, son. (softly): Okay. Thank you for giving me back my family, Larry, (choking up): Gua... Guardian of Brooklyn. NICK: Dad, if we leave right now, we can still catch a flight, get home with everyone still awake before the sun comes up. Yeah, okay. -(rumbling footsteps) -Let's go home. -Whoa! -It's all right, Larry. We've reached something of an understanding. -Really? -Trixey, sit. -(whimpers) -Wow! That's really good. - Good job, Lance. - Thanks. Trixey, behave. Good girl. Steady. TILLY: He never even listens to me. But you, I just feel like you, like, really listen to me. -(muttering) -It's like our hearts are, like, in perfect sync with each other right now. -Um... (clears throat) -Do you feel what I'm s... -Oh. -Hi. Sorry to interrupt whatever... ...is happening. Uh, Laaa, the guys are waiting outside. We got to go. Come on. What? No. No! Laaa, stay! I know this sounds crazy, but you and I could make a life together here in England. -Laaa. -(growling) (grumbling) Oh. Wow. Okay. Um... TILLY: Oh. (sighs) (Laaa grunting) I will never forget you. (speaking gibberish) You are the most rugged man that I have ever, ever met. (speaking gibberish) (softly): Keep the scrunchies. LARRY: Okay, Laaa. Laaa, we got to go. I won't say anything if you won't. Oh. I know you hate this job and everything, but tomorrow night, best job ever. JEDEDIAH: Sure is quiet around here. OCTAVIUS: Without the tablet, it's just like any other museum. You know what I'm gonna remember most about you? What? How big you guys are. Come here. -(laughs) -Come here. Hold me. My... friend. You speak English? Okay. Hey, listen. Um... Up there on the roof, when, uh... - when you almost... - (chittering) - Yeah. Yeah, I just want you to know, like, I really, really changed my perspective on everything. I know we have a weird... We have this dynamic. We have this, you know, tension, and back and forth... I mean, games, right? You know? Roles that we put ourselves into, but, like, why does it have to be that way? I feel like there's always been a mutual sort of respect for each other, and... Anyway. I'll miss you, you know? Okay. It's all right. Go ahead. One last slap. Yeah, I felt that was there for a long time, too. (softly): Okay. (mouthing) Who'd have ever thought? I'm wax, she's polyurethane. But somehow, it worked. (chuckles) (sighs) - I guess this is it. - Indeed. And I know young Nick will do great things. Yeah, he's, uh... ready to take on the world all by himself. Then you've done your job. You've done your job. It's time for your next adventure. I have no idea what I'm gonna do tomorrow. How exciting. Bye, Teddy. Farewell, Lawrence. - Bully! - (screams) (laughs) Got you! Smile, my boy. It's sunrise. (birds cooing) -Hey. -Hey. You good? - Yeah, I am. - (whispering): Oh, good. So, Ibiza? (chuckles) Yeah. Uh, the whole DJ thing, Dad, I don't know if that's the thing for me. I just, I know that it's the next thing. After that, maybe college. I'm... I'm figuring it all out, you know? Sounds like a plan. - I should get back to Mom's or something. - Okay. I love you. I love you, too. All right. -Not gonna let you go. -(laughs) I'll see you later. McPHEE (voice-over): Three years. No Larry Daley. He was the one that took the fall for me, got me my job back. Heard he went back to school, got his degree, became a teacher. I'm very glad. Well, when he heard about this traveling exhibition, Larry insisted that I delivered this to you personally. Ah, the infamous, supposedly magic, glowing tablet. Larry Daley and his fanciful tales. - Larry said you could be trusted. - What-what do you mean? (whispering): With the top secret knowledge. - What are you doing? - I'm-I'm winking. -You're blinking. -No, I wink with both eyes. -That's blinking. -It doesn't matter, because right now - you better get ready. - For what? (sighs) For this. - It does glow. - Uh-huh. (crowd cheering, music playing) Come on. (crowd chattering) (upbeat music plays) Sorry. Go ahead. Have fun-fun, Dum Dum. (chittering) # Now, I've had... # the time of my life. # No I never felt like this before. # Yes, I swear... # it's the truth. # And I owe it all to you. # I've had the time of my life # - Stay! - I'm not going anywhere. - (groans) Stay! - Yeah, I'm not going anywhere. (sighs) # ...the time of my life. (funky music plays) (turntable scratches) (funky music continues) (music continues faintly)