CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES UPBEAT, FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS BOY: Come on, Amanda, you can do it. BOY: Easy out. CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS UPBEAT, FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS GIRL: Throw her a curve ball. Back up! Back up! CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS Well, fans, it's the bottom of the ninth, the bases are all loaded and guess who the orphans have at back. That's right. It's the home-run queen herself, the belter from the shelter, Miss` Amanda Lemmon! What? I'm going to kill you. Didn't I tell you not to play ball in that dress? I'm going to kill you. Didn't I tell you not to play ball in that dress? Aw, Diane. I ain't gonna hurt it. It's time for your interview. Now drop the bat. Let's go. It's time for your interview. Now drop the bat. Let's go. Let me smash this ball downtown, OK? All right. You got 10 seconds. Otherwise the game is going to be called on account of bloodshed. Come on, Frankie. I gotta go to Staten Island. Staten Island? What about camp? You'll miss the bus. Staten Island? What about camp? You'll miss the bus. I won't. It's just a look-see. They're not trying to place you with the Butkises, are they? They're not trying to place you with the Butkises, are they? So what if they are? You haven't met those people? That family collects kids. They'll take anybody. Even a reject like you. Even a reject like you. Shut up, Frankie. At least I got an interview. And Amanda Butkis steps to the plate. Ha ha. < Hit me in! WHACK! KIDS CHEER WILDLY Relay. Relay. Over here. Over here. HORN BLARES KIDS CHEER WILDLY Come on. Come on. Hop in. Come on. Come on. Hop in. Oh man, it was a grand slam. Diane, see if they want a little boy. Me and her, two for one. Diane, see if they want a little boy. Me and her, two for one. What am I, on sale? Get your own. Staten Island, please. We win. Yay! You're a dead man, Frankie! There you go. Thanks. OK, so it's not exactly Park Avenue, but you can't always judge a book by the cover. Besides, you don't want to be an orphan for ever. Besides, you don't want to be an orphan for ever. So adopt me, why don't ya? I can't adopt you on my salary. Besides, you deserve a mother AND a father. So get a husband. It's not like buying a car, you know. I know. It's got to be that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, World Series stuff, right? A girl's got to have her standards. A girl's got to have her standards. Well, I got mine and I say let's blow off these people. Ahem. Gum. Hat. Other gum. Look, I know these people have a stupid name, but they really like kids, OK? So put on a smile. Sell it, girl. Why do I always gotta wear a dress? Cos it makes you look so pretty. (KNOCKS ON DOOR) Oh. Oh, isn't she the most precious thing? What a pretty little dress. What a pretty little dress. She's a honey, all right. Look at that, Fanny. She's got your mother's smile. And your father's sense of humour. That's very funny. Come on. Come on in. You're going to love it in here. MILITARY MUSIC PLAYS Callaway, huh? Must be a real big shot. Oh, you'd be surprised how big. All this for her? All this for her? Uh-huh. Gee. Welcome home, princess. He forgot again, didn't he? He forgot again, didn't he? Well, I'm afraid your father's been unavoidably detained. If it's any consolation, I know an old butler who's mighty glad to see you. I'm sorry, Vincenzo. How terribly rude of me. I'm very glad to see you too. Thank you, honey. Hey, I see you've been practising. Congratulations. What's the excuse this time? What's the excuse this time? Your father? He's preparing for your arrival up at the summer house. Which one? Which one? On Lake Minocqua. But that's been closed for years. He never goes up there. But that's been closed for years. He never goes up there. Well, he does now. Vincenzo, you big fat fibber. What's going on? My lips are sealed. You mean it's a surprise? Oh, yeah, I suppose you could put it that way. Oh, yeah, I suppose you could put it that way. It's a welcome-home party for me. I knew Daddy was up to something. I knew Daddy was up to something. Well, listen, I didn't say` Vincenzo, I won't tell. I've never had a surprise party in my whole life. This will certainly be a surprise. Come on, come on. Move it. I got 43. Me too. Guess who's missing. Me too. Guess who's missing. Carmen, where's Amanda? Me too. Guess who's missing. Carmen, where's Amanda? She's not coming. (MOUTHS) Hey, Slugger, what's up? I'm not going to stupid camp. I don't blame you. Look at this place. It's a pigsty. Probably gonna take you the whole week just to make your bed. Probably gonna take you the whole week just to make your bed. Don't joke. I'm serious. I'm not joking. That's why I sent the bus ahead without us. Liar. Oh yeah? How much you want to bet? Oh yeah? How much you want to bet? 50 bucks. OK, so I didn't send the bus. OK, so I didn't send the bus. Cough it up. But I will. Then you and I can just sit here until you tell me what's really wrong. I'm not going to stupid Butkises' either. I was waiting for that one. If they're the best I can do, Frankie's right ` I am a reject. You're not a reject. It's just that most people want to adopt` It's just that most people want to adopt` Babies. I know. This orphan stuff is like growing up in a dog pound. Everybody wants a puppy. Just once I'd like to see my own room. Hey, come here a minute. Listen to me. You listening to me? Hey, come here a minute. Listen to me. You listening to me? Mm-hm. I'm going to find you the best home in the entire world. That's a promise. You don't make promises. Remember? I didn't say I don't make promises. I said I don't make promises I can't keep. There's a big difference. Now, can we please go to camp? Please? Please. Please. Please. Please. OK. OK. OK. But you still owe me 50 bucks. KIDS SCREAM AND SHOUT JOYFUL MUSIC PLAYS Oh, Vincenzo, it's gorgeous. I think this house is going to be my favourite. I think this house is going to be my favourite. I remember many happy years here. Hey! Oh, Daddy! Come over here, my little... Wait a minute. You're not Alyssa Callaway. Alyssa Callaway's a little girl and you're a foot taller than she is. Alyssa Callaway's a little girl and you're a foot taller than she is. It's me, honest. It is? I've missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't there at the airport to meet you. I've missed you. I'm sorry I wasn't there at the airport to meet you. That's OK. I knew it had to be something REALLY important... like a party, maybe? She knows about the party? She knows about the party? I didn't say a thing. She knows about the party? I didn't say a thing. Huh. Vincenzo didn't tell me. I figured it out on my own. I should have let you surprise me, but I'm too excited. I should have let you surprise me, but I'm too excited. You are? It's still on, isn't it? Yes, of course it's still on, sweetheart, but are we talking about the same party? Oh, Roger, she's darling. I would like you to meet a good friend ` Clarice Kensington. I would like you to meet a good friend ` Clarice Kensington. Hello, Miss Kensington. How do you do? Oh. What a perfect little girl. Roger, I'm absolutely smitten. You and I are going to be great friends. You and I are going to be great friends. Are you here for my party? YOUR party? Roger, don't tell me you haven't told her. Told me what? Sweetheart, the party is NOT for` Another couple of hours. So let's get you settled in there, princess. Yes, why don't you do that? I'm sure you two have lots to talk about. He didn't tell her. I can't believe he didn't tell her. Maybe he wanted to give her the good news in person. I'm sorry, did I say something to YOU? KIDS SCREAM AND SHOUT WILDLY BRAKES SQUEAK Remember to bring your own bag. Everybody off. Yo, Carmen. You blind? What? Girl, when are you gonna get a life? Miss Kensington seems nice. Does she work with you? Um, not exactly. Hey, I got something to show you. Right up here. You see there, across the lake? That's Camp Callaway. That was your mom's favourite project. So is she from the camp? So is she from the camp? Who? Miss Kensington. Oh, sweetheart. I want to have a little talk with you. You know, Alyssa, a lot's happened while you were gone. And you know I haven't been able to come up to this house since Mom passed away. But there comes a time when a person has to move on. You're getting older and there's just so much a father can do without help. We have Vincenzo. He helps us. We have Vincenzo. He helps us. That's right, he does. He's been a good friend to this family for a long time, but what I think our family really needs` KNOCK AT DOOR KNOCK AT DOOR Excuse me. Telephone, boss. Let me call him back, OK? Let me call him back, OK? He said it was urgent. Let me call him back, OK? He said it was urgent. I'm with my... Will you forgive me? Will you forgive me? Don't I always? It's so good to have you home. It's on two? It's on two? Yeah. Hey, young lady. Summer vacation, official. Go play. Go play. Will you come with me? Aw, gee, I wish I could, princess, but I'm afraid I've got a lot of work to do. Sorry. Whoa, check it out. Buckingham Palace. Whoa, check it out. Buckingham Palace. That's in London, brainless. It's the Callaway house. Nobody's lived there for years. It's haunted. Nobody's lived there for years. It's haunted. It's not either. Ask anyone. Every full moon, Lady Callaway's ghost crosses the lake and eats one of the campers. Yeah, right. And Santa Claus lives with the tooth fairy in Queens. You ever been over there? You ever been over there? No. If you're so sure, go over there and ring the doorbell. You think I'm scared? You think I'm scared? Five bucks says you're chicken. Cough it up, choirboy. Show me your money. This, I gotta see. (LAUGHS) < I didn't even know they had caterers in the country. < I didn't even know they had caterers in the country. (GASPS) They SAY the first Mrs Callaway was a lovely woman, but look at this room. No wonder the woman's dead. She had absolutely no taste. Can't wait to sell this house. Now, Jules, I want one bar set up in here and two out in the patio... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Well, hello, munchkin. SCREAMS: Daddy! Honey, what's the matter? What? What? You all right? No. What? What happened? She hates this house. Let's not be dramatic. She was hiding in the den and I simply said that we might fix it up some day. That is, if you'll let me. Who is she? (LAUGHS) I guess there's no easy way to say this. Sweetheart, Clarice and I will be married next month. What? You're finally going to have a real family. And she's going to be your new mother. Isn't that wonderful? Oh! She does this sometimes. Honey. Honey. And she gets away with it. I'm sorry, Roger, but little tantrums mustn't be rewarded. Alyssa, come on, sweetheart. Alyssa, come on, sweetheart. Roger, you're only making it worse. I know what I'm talking about. All right, people. Back to work. Shoo, shoo. Let's focus on the engagement party. Let's focus on the engagement party. Sure hope you're right. Trust me. I'm a woman. Oh, look at the time. I have got to get my face on. How's about some milk and cookies, huh? I've lost my mother. Now I've lost my father. I have no family. I'm an orphan. I'm running away. And don't you dare tell Daddy. 1 Come on. We've gotta hide. Come on. We've gotta hide. What if we get caught? Come on. We've gotta hide. What if we get caught? Don't let her see us. Who? Old Lady Callaway. > Old Lady Callaway. > There's no ghost. Look at her. She's nuts. I won't go back. I won't. She's not the boss of me. Vincenzo, have you seen Alyssa? Vincenzo, have you seen Alyssa? I'm under strict orders not to tell you that she ran away. Why didn't you stop her? I thought I'd give her the benefit of a head start so she could reclaim a little dignity. You'll make sure she comes home OK? You'll make sure she comes home OK? Sure. Don't worry. Right away, boss. Thanks, Vin. It doesn't look haunted. That's what they want you to think. Frankie, this isn't funny any more. Let's get out of here. Frankie, this isn't funny any more. Let's get out of here. Don't worry. She'll chicken out. Go. Go. DOORBELL RINGS Well, if it isn't the little orphan girl. < Someone's home. < Someone's home. We were just coming after you. Look, I didn't mean anything. It was just a joke, you know? She didn't even scream. Let's get you ready for the big dinner, OK? Let's get you ready for the big dinner, OK? Big dinner? Lurch, you don't want me. I'm skinny. There are other kids, fat ones, right outside. Eat them. What in the world are you talking about? Frankie, the full moon's tonight, right? (GASPS) Old Lady Callaway's ghost. ALL: It's her! Ahhhh! Ahhhh! You think I'm pretty stupid, huh? You think I'm pretty stupid, huh? Nah. You're just a little upset, that's all. Looks like I just won five bucks. Looks like I just won five bucks. Mm? So, when's this party? Am I invited? So, when's this party? Am I invited? Your dress is upstairs on the bed. Cocktails are at 5. Excuse me. A dress? Me? You gotta be kidding. Nobody's even looking for me. There you are. I have been looking everywhere for you. You have? Of course I have. Let me ask you a question. You did not come all the way up here to sit around like a bump on a log, did you? No. I-I guess not. Well, then, come on, Slugger. They're playing football. You're missing out on all the fun. OK. I thought, 'Where is she? What's happened to her?' WHISTLE BLOWS So, I hear Amanda's quite the jock. So, I hear Amanda's quite the jock. Yeah, the kid's a natural. Great speed. OK, student body left. Everybody block for Amanda. On four. Ready? OK, student body left. Everybody block for Amanda. On four. Ready? ALL: Break! Who's Amanda? Funny. THEME FROM 'TWILIGHT ZONE' PLAYS Ahh! She's probably eating her liver right now. She's probably eating her liver right now. You think one camper's enough? What if she's still hungry? Look! 24. 36. Hut. Hut. Hut. Hey. I got it. Run! Argh! You're going the wrong way! Great speed; bad sense of direction. # For goodness' sake,... # I got the hippy hippy shake. # Yeah, I got to shake. # I got the hippy hippy shake. # The hippy hippy shake. # Well, now, you shake it to the left, you shake it to the right. # You do the hippy shake shake with all of your might. # Yeah, baby. # Yeah, come on, shake. # Oh, it's in the back. # The hippy hippy shake. WHACK! BOTH: Aaahhh! Do you see what I see? I don't know what you see, but what I see is me. I see me too. Does that mean there's two of you or two of me? Ah. Oh. Wow. There really is two of us. Don't you find this odd? No, this is weird. This is really really weird. Wait a sec. You live at the Callaway house. And you're that girl from camp. BOTH: They thought I was you. Alyssa Callaway. It's a pleasure to meet you. Alyssa Callaway. It's a pleasure to meet you. Amanda. Put her there. No wonder that big penguin guy asked me in. That's Vincenzo. He's our butler. Who's the woman with the long dark hair? I liked her. That's Diane. We're buds. She's pretty cool for a grown-up. What were you doing over there anyway? I wanted to see what it was like to be an orphan. What? Why? > Because it looked like fun. Because it looked like fun. Fun? Being an orphan? What's the matter with you? So why were you at MY house? I was just... I was just ringing the doorbell. What for? Because kids think that place is haunted. Because kids think that place is haunted. That's stupid. Yeah? Well, then, who's that scary blonde lady? She's absolutely horrid. If I were you, I'd get rid of her. If I were you, I'd get rid of her. Any suggestions? You're talking to a pro here. I've driven away more possible parents than you'll ever meet. Don't you want a family? Don't you want a family? A girl's gotta have her standards. So tell me something ` this party, you really don't want to go? So tell me something ` this party, you really don't want to go? I'd rather eat dirt. OK, listen. You be me. I'll be you. One night only. Tomorrow at noon we switch back. What do you say? Wonderful. That way you can scare off Clarice for me. Don't be such a goody-goody. I've got a reputation to protect. Don't be such a goody-goody. I've got a reputation to protect. I scored a touchdown, didn't I? OK, just don't talk so good. Use lousy English like 'Ain't you never gonna wanna?' That sort of thing. You ain't got nuttin' to worry about. I say, you do catch on rather quickly. Stables. Noon. 'CANTALOOP' BY US3 PLAYS # Yeah. Yeah. # What's that? # Yeah. Yeah. # Yeah. Funky. Funky. # How about a big hand now? # Wait-Wait a minute. # Groovy, groovy, jazzy, funky. # Pounce, pounce, dance as we dip in the melodic sea... Ooh, close. Miss Kensington says fashionably late was an hour ago. What seems to be the problem? I'm a hairdresser, not a zookeeper. # ...start to float, subtle like a lullaby. # Brace yourself as the beat hits ya. Dip trip... # MUSIC STOPS MUSIC STOPS What in the name of God is going on here? Hi, Vinnie. I mean, Vincenzo. I, ah, got distracted. Oh, you don't have to apologise. Oh, you don't have to apologise. Really? Oh, you don't have to apologise. Really? Mm-hm. > Cool. I mean, it's just that I'm so terribly relieved that you aren't pissed. Oh` Pissed, miss? Look, why don't you get dressed, please, and let Carlo do your hair. All right? I liked her better when she fainted. This is really good. Well, of course it is, silly. It's your favourite. Well, of course it is, silly. It's your favourite. It is? Oh yes. Of course. The,.. um,... big, gooey, messy burger. Also known as a Sloppy Joe. Sloppy Joe, right. Your favourite. Your favourite. Yes, and with durn good reason. Did you just say durn? JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS I haven't seen you in so long. Hello. Good evening. How swell of you to come. So nice to see you. Like my dress? Escargot, Miss Callaway? Why, thank you, waiter person. I'm starvin'. I mean, I'd adore one. This tastes like a balloon. This tastes like a balloon. It's snails, miss. Good. Nice. Chewy. All this money and these people eat slugs? Well, look who's finally decided to grace us with her presence. Clarice, right? You looked better with the mask. You looked better with the mask. I beg your pardon? Alyssa, Clarice has been regaling us with your many accomplishments at the academy. Might we entice you to play something? Might we entice you to play something? Of course. I'd be delighted. What in ever did you have in mind? Checkers? Dodgeball? BOTH LAUGH HYSTERICALLY No, no, dear girl. Muffy was referring to the piano. Ladies and gentlemen, may I have your attention, please? Before we sit down to dinner, my future stepdaughter, whom I absolutely adore,... has consented to play one of the pieces that won her first prize at the Windsor Academy youth recital. ALL CLAP Hold it. Time out. I can't play the piano. I just told everyone that you would. I just told everyone that you would. Then do me a grand favour and UN-tell 'em. Look, you little... If you embarrass me in front of all these people,... I'll make sure that you never play anything ever again. Have I made myself clear? Clear as glass. In fact, I can see right through you. CROWD CLAPS Ladies and gentlemen, normally I'd be tickled to play a selection from Chop-in,... but in honour of my stepmother, whom I ABSOLUTELY adore, I decided to play a little something of my own. BANG! CLANG! CLUNK! You think maybe my daughter's asking for a little attention? You think maybe my daughter's asking for a little attention? I'd say she's demanding it. 1 ALL: Shark! Fin! Huckleberry Finn. Huckleberry Finn. That's it. You got it. KIDS SCREAM AND CHEER Oh man. The guys are ahead of us by eight seconds. OK, Amanda, it's your turn. You're up. Go, girl. OK, Amanda, it's your turn. You're up. Go, girl. Me? You're the best. Show 'em what you got. You're the best. Show 'em what you got. ALL: GO! Come on! BOYS BOO Look at her. She's nervous. Look at her. She's nervous. Yeah, so? I always thought Amanda wasn't scared of nothing. What am I supposed to do? Ready. Set. Go! ALL: Song! What happened? London Bridge is Falling Down! That's it. GIRLS CHEER WILDLY KNOCK AT DOOR You may enter. Mind if we talk? Mind if we talk? What ever about? Clarice. Hey, none of that. She was very upset with your performance this evening. Can't you give her a chance? Can't you give her a chance? I did, and she's a big phoney-baloney if you ask me. I've never heard you this outspoken. Wouldn't it be nice to have a mom? Wouldn't it be nice to have a mom? Yeah. It would be nice to have a father, too. I mean... I mean... Sweetheart, I think the person you're really angry at is me. You? What did you do? I haven't been much of a father lately. I haven't seen you. That's going to change because Clarice is going back to the city. That's going to change because Clarice is going back to the city. Gee, I hope it was nothing I did. No, she's got our wedding to plan. That means you and I are going to get to spend some time together. Is that OK? Yeah? Good. Let's tuck you in, you little snuggler. See you tomorrow. See you tomorrow. OK. Goodnight, hon. Goodnight, hon. Hey, I like having a father. Well, I like having a daughter. Goodnight, sweetie. Lights out. Lights out. FROG CROAKS FROG CROAKS Come on. This, I got to see. We're going to get caught. I just know it. Come on, Frankie. It's a full moon. Come on, Frankie. It's a full moon. Shut up, stupid. Zombies hear better than dogs. CROAK! Aahhh! It's a frog! Amanda scared of a frog? She's changed, all right. Now do you believe me? Now do you believe me? Yeah, she's one of them pod people. Let's get out of here. A frog, huh? You know what? You should have kissed it. It might have turned out to be Prince Charming. It might have turned out to be Prince Charming. Gross. Not for you, for me. You'd kiss a frog? No. Toads are my speciality. Big old ugly suckers with tongues like this. It is not. It is not. It is too. How else will I catch a guy? I don't know. OK. OK. Aha. There's that smile. That time I think it went all the way up to your eyes. You remind me of someone. You remind me of someone. I do? Who? Someone I've never met. How can I if you've never met her? How can I if you've never met her? Sometimes when I dream, I think I see her. You know, you've been acting just a little bit weirdo today, kiddo. I think maybe it's all this fresh air. Don't make fun. Sorry. It's just that usually you're such a tough guy. Don't tell anyone, OK? Don't tell anyone, OK? Scout's honour. After all, I wouldn't want to spoil my reputation none. After all, I wouldn't want to spoil my reputation none. None. I've got an idea. Let's go spy on the boys. Safe trip, honey. # Whoa! I feel good. # I knew that I wouldn't of. # I feel good. # I knew that I wouldn't of. # So good, so good. # I got you. # Whoa! I feel nice,... # like sugar and spice. # I feel nice,... # like sugar and spice. # So nice, so nice. Ahhhh! Oh my God! # When I hold you in my arms,... # I know that I can do no wrong. # And when I hold you in my arms,... # my love won't do ya no harm. # And I feel nice,... # like sugar and spice. # I feel nice,... # like sugar and spice. # So nice, so nice. # I got you. # I feel good. # I knew that I wouldn't of. # I feel good. # I knew that I would. # So good, so good. # I got you. # How was the party? How was the party? Well, the good news is Clarice is gone. You did it. The bad news is she'll be back in a week. Oh, you didn't. So what's a cool guy like your dad doing with a witch like her, anyway? It's too bad he didn't meet Diane first. Now, she's awesome. It's too bad he didn't meet Diane first. Now, she's awesome. They'd be perfect for each other. You're not thinking what I hope you're not thinking. You're not thinking what I hope you're not thinking. Wanna bet? But he's getting married next month. But he's getting married next month. All they got to do is meet once. Then they'll fall in love for sure. How do you know? How do you know? Cos Diane says when it happens, it happens like that. OK, you go back to Diane and I'll go back to your dad. Wait. Why not the other way around? You know what he likes and I know what she likes. They need all the help they can get. But how are we going to get them together? HORSE NEIGHS > I can't believe I let you talk me into this. I can't believe I let you talk me into this. You're too tense. Relax. I got a wild animal under my butt, and she says, relax. I got a wild animal under my butt, and she says, relax. Move with the horse. You'll be fine. When did you become an expert all of a sudden? When did you become an expert all of a sudden? Ain't you never seen a western? The last western I saw was an omelette. Look at your form. What happened to those equestrian classes? Look at your form. What happened to those equestrian classes? Are you asking me a questrian? Come on, I'll race you to the lake. Come on, I'll race you to the lake. No. No. Slow is good. I like to enjoy the scenery. (MOANS) # I got spurs that jingle, jingle, jangle... # as I ride merrily along. # We're doing a good job, aren't we? I think I'm finally getting the hang of this. Hey, I'm getting the hang of this. Oh, come on, Amanda. My voice isn't that bad. # I've been in the desert on a horse with no name. # Feels good to get out of the rain. # Not only is she an excellent rider, she's a gourmet cook, she paints, she speaks four languages. You could learn a lot from Clarice. Alyssa, there's... Alyssa? < Honey? Alyssa? Come here, come here. (SINGS) Whoa. Whoa. Where is that girl? Did you bring it? Did you bring it? Mm-hm. Whoa, bud. WHACK! HORSE NEIGHS Somebody, turn this thing off! Whoa! Wow. Alyssa? Stop. Stop! Hyah! Step on it. Step on it. Hyah! Stop! Please! Help! Help me! Somebody help me! Hang on. Hang on. Help. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. Slow down, girl. Slow down, girl. Don't talk to me, talk to the horse. Slow down, girl. Don't talk to me, talk to the horse. I WAS talking to the horse. No! I got you. Relax. I got you. Relax. They gave me the killer horse. Shh. It's OK. You OK? You OK? God Almighty. If it's any consolation, I used to look like a real jerk on a horse. If it's any consolation, I used to look like a real jerk on a horse. WHACK! 1 How many fingers here, cowboy? Six. Close enough. Can you stand? Close enough. Can you stand? Yeah. Oh! I'm not sure which is more bruised, my butt or my ego. I'm not sure which is more bruised, my butt or my ego. Somebody should take a look at that. My butt? My butt? No, that cut right there. Ow. Ow. Ooh, sorry. Great. We have first aid over at the camp. We have first aid over at the camp. Thanks. I just live over here. Are you Roger Callaway? Are you Roger Callaway? I think so. THE Roger Callaway from the Callaway Foundation For Kids? THE Roger Callaway from the Callaway Foundation For Kids? Yeah, that's me. I'm Diane Barrows. I always wanted to meet you. My kids love your camp. I'm Diane Barrows. I always wanted to meet you. My kids love your camp. Oh yeah? You have kids? They're not mine. I work for the East Side Children's Center in Manhattan. We're here for a week. Well, it was very nice to meet you, Mr Callaway. Well, it was very nice to meet you, Mr Callaway. Roger, please. Roger. Oh, and thank you for saving my life. You really should put some iodine on your butt... cut. Miss Barrows. Miss Barrows. Diane. Miss Barrows. Diane. Diane. I was wondering if I could offer you some ice tea or something. I would love to hear more about the camp. Only if we can walk. Only if we can walk. You took the words right out of my mouth. Ow. You certainly are an angel of mercy, Miss Barrows. You certainly are an angel of mercy, Miss Barrows. I see worse cuts than this every day. My gang's always inventing new ways to get hurt. My gang's always inventing new ways to get hurt. You must really love children. What's not to love? Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. Ow. You big baby. Come here. Is that better? Yeah. (CLEARS THROAT) I can't hear anything. We got to get closer. You know, you're not at all what I expected. What were you expecting? Blue blood, for one thing. I thought you'd be some rich, big old fat geezer who smoked cigars. I thought you'd be some rich, big old fat geezer who smoked cigars. Really? No, I made my money the old-fashioned way: pure dumb luck. No, I made my money the old-fashioned way: pure dumb luck. I doubt that. No, I swear. 12 years ago, a cellular phone was just something out of Star Trek. I thought it was pretty cool so I bought the airspace. I thought it was pretty cool so I bought the airspace. < Get out! < That's like money out of thin air. < That's like money out of thin air. You'll notice I don't carry one. I hate the damn things. Excuse me. Miss Kensington, boss. She insists. Excuse me, it's my fia... Miss Kensington. Hi, Clarice. How you doing? How am I doing? (LAUGHS) Please. Honey, look. Do you have any idea what your daughter has done? No. What? She spat` She spat` Gum in your hair? Are you sure? Are you sure? Am I sure? You should see it! I'm certain it wasn't intentional. Of course. You've had a rough day. No. Rough is a broken nail. What I've had is a train wreck!! Look, just try to calm down. I'll speak to her. Look, just try to calm down. I'll speak to her. I think I'm just going to go now. Just one second, please. Roger, is there a woman there with you? Yes, there's sort of a woman here. She's from the camp across the lake. How delightful. I'm in the middle of a crisis and you're having a bachelor party. I'm in a meeting, that's all. It's just a meeting. No, we're not going to have dinner. Nothing's going to go on. Please. I'll see you at the end of the week. OK. Bye. I'm so sorry. Sorry about that. But she squeezed me so hard it just sort of popped out. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. I don't think she likes me very much. She's been looking forward to meeting you for months. Do you know how much she loves children? No. Do you? Come to think of it, you are the first kid I've seen her with, but I'm sure it's a whole bunch. And you love her, right? Well, yes. Like that can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, World Series kind of stuff? That's what's in the dictionary? That's what's in the dictionary? You're marrying her because Alyssa needs ` I mean, I need ` a mother. Honey, I think that's enough questions for today. Honey, I think that's enough questions for today. Wait. I only got one left. Let's have it. Let's have it. Who was that pretty woman out on the patio? THE Roger Callaway? On a white horse, no less. On a white horse, no less. So? He comes riding up and saves my life. He's probably worth a billion dollars. He's totally cute. Oh my God, he is so cute. To top it all off, he's honest to God a nice guy. I'm stupid enough to think he's available. I'm stupid enough to think he's available. Isn't he? No. Is too. How would you know? How would you know? Was he wearing a ring? Look, even if he was available, he wouldn't be interested in me. Look, even if he was available, he wouldn't be interested in me. You shouldn't put yourself down. Guys like him like girls with food names. Guys like him like girls with food names. (SNORTS) Cookie, Muffin, Candy. They don't marry girls like me. He did once. What, is this published somewhere? What, is this published somewhere? Her name was Cathy and she wasn't a food, she was a teacher. He's even more perfect than I thought. I'm cheating. Give me one of those. Give me that stick. Vincenzo, do you believe in magic? Vincenzo, do you believe in magic? You mean like card tricks? No, sparks between two people. The thing that happens when you least expect it. Why do you ask? No reason. Just, it's been so long since Cathy. I just didn't think it could happen to me again. Well, that Miss Kensington is really something. Well, actually, that's not who I meant. Yeah, I know. Well, you're my best man. Aren't you supposed to come up with some words of wisdom right now? Why don't you go for a drive? See where you end up. Where's he going? Hey, Vinnie. (WHISTLES) It's the office. The Butkises want Amanda. The paperwork just went through. What? Who the hell is this? This is Diane Barrows. Since when does your department OK an adoption without the caseworker's report? Yeah, I know these people are nice. Yes. Yes. Have you ever met those people? These people collect kids. They will take anybody. Excuse me, can you tell me where Diane Barrows is please? Excuse me, can you tell me where Diane Barrows is please? I think she's in the office. Let me just run this by you one more time, OK? Just hear me out. I know I don't make that much money and I know that I am a little bit single, but I want to adopt Amanda. Are you laughing at me? He's laughing at me. You stupid jerk. Diane? Diane? What? Oh, it's you. Did I come at a bad time? Did I come at a bad time? A bad time... for a meeting? No, I'm just having a little problem with one of my kids. No, I'm just having a little problem with one of my kids. Is there anything I can do to help? You've already saved my life, Mr Callaway. What can I do for you? I would like to apologise for yesterday. It was rude. I never should have taken that call. I would like to make it up to you. I would like to make it up to you. OK. Give me your car. Perhaps we could discuss it over lunch at a little pizza joint I saw in town. I'm sorry, I can't. I understand. Maybe some other time, then. No, it's not like that. It's that I'm on duty today in the mess hall. It's my kids' turn to serve. It's my kids' turn to serve. Oh, I see. You know what? If your heart's set on Italian, you could join us. We're having macaroni and cheese. Still come with a peach cobbler? Still come with a peach cobbler? Oh, yeah. All you can eat. 1 Muffy, darling, Craig can meet the President on Sunday. I NEED bridesmaids. Oh, you must come. Oh, fabulous. There's my other line. Got to go. Love you. Mean it. Ciao. Hello? Bernard. Bernard, why do you keep bothering me with numbers? It's my wedding. Whatever it costs, just get it. KIDS BANG LOUDLY It's a cosy little spot. When was the last time you were here? When was the last time you were here? It must be 10 years. 10 years? 10 years? Yeah. You built it and never came back? No, it was my wife's idea. She had a very big heart. No, it was my wife's idea. She had a very big heart. Had? She passed away when Alyssa was born. She passed away when Alyssa was born. Oh. Sorry. I just never could come back... until now, that is. KIDS CHEER LOUDLY Here you go. Hey, Carmen. Where's Amanda? Hey, Carmen. Where's Amanda? I don't know. One minute she's behind me and the next... Will you get her for me, please? I want to introduce her to somebody. Will you get her for me, please? I want to introduce her to somebody. Sure. I am having the hardest time keeping tabs on her. She keeps running off. Tell me about it. I've got one just like her at home. What are you doing? I'm,... uh,... cleaning this window. Look at it. It's filthy. I'm,... uh,... cleaning this window. Look at it. It's filthy. Diane wants to see you. Come on. But I... Hey, where you going with my hat? Do something, Alyssa! Here she comes now. (LAUGHS) My compliments to the chef. Amanda, take that thing off. Let her keep it on. For all we know, it might be the latest thing. ALL GASP (GIGGLES AND SNORTS) Excuse me, ma'am. Did you just snort? (SNORTS LOUDLY) I suppose you think this is funny? Maybe you'll get a little chuckle out of this. You wouldn't dare. Aahh! SCREAMS: Food fight! # Tutti Frutti all over rootie. Tutti Frutti all over rootie. # Tutti Frutti all over rootie. A-wop-bop-a-loo-lop, a-lop-bam-boo. That was great. I couldn't have done it better myself. That was great. I couldn't have done it better myself. I almost had a heart attack. ALL SCREAM AND SHOUT # Tutti Frutti all over rootie. Tutti Frutti all over rootie. # Tutti Frutti all over rootie. Tutti Frutti all over rootie. (LAUGHS) I guess that's what they mean by eat and run, huh? We need doggy bags. Oh dear. Look at me. I am covered in cobbler. You look good in peach. Actually, leave it. I may still be hungry. (LAUGHS) I can't believe you hit me with the butter. I didn't start it. You just talked to that short-order cook of yours. Oh yeah. Where is she, anyway? If you want to get cleaned up, there's showers right over there. You know, I've got a better idea. Will you excuse me and maybe hold some of that? Whoo! What's wrong with him? What's wrong with him? Beats me. I've never seen him act like this. Yahoo! I think he's gone mental. He's got a lot on his mind. Didn't your mother tell you not to swim after you eat? Didn't your mother tell you not to swim after you eat? Oh yeah. I forgot. I got a cramp. Ah, I can't swim. Hey, no fair. I saved you. Uh-uh. It's too cold. I'm not going in there. Oh. Come on, I don't want to save you right now. All right, buster. You better be worth it. Yahoo! Roger. You're not funny. Roger? Oh my God. Roger? Say, a guy could drown waiting for you. Callaway, I'm going to kill you. Callaway, I'm going to kill you. Bungee! I AM going to kill you. It's working. It's working. Look at them. Now, that's more like it. Roger, darling. Anyone home? Well, Miss Kensington, what a surprise. We weren't expecting you. Well, Miss Kensington, what a surprise. We weren't expecting you. Yes, I know. Where's Roger? Where's Roger? Mr Callaway is out for the afternoon. Oh. I see. When he returns will you please tell him I wish to speak with him? When he returns will you please tell him I wish to speak with him? Yes, ma'am. Thank you so much. I'd like a Diet Coke, please. One Diet Coke coming up. With lime. Very early in the day to be looking at stars. Oh. What do we have here? (GASPS) You can't always be this much fun because it wouldn't be fair. Trust me. I haven't done anything like this in years. Trust me. I haven't done anything like this in years. Well, it feels good, doesn't it? Feels better every second. Don't move. Don't move. Why? The thing. The thing. What do you mean, a THING? What, a bug? A bug? A bug? It's the dreaded maraschino bug. It's highly poisonous. And you wanted to go for pizza. I almost didn't come over at all. I'm glad you did. Diane? Diane? Shh. CLANG! What was that? It's a sign. It's a sign. What do you mean, a sign? I mean, I don't know what I mean. I mean, I don't know what I mean. I think I know what you mean. It's your Miss Kensington, right? I'm... I'm getting married next month. I'm... I'm getting married next month. Well, of course you are. So what was this? Just sort of a last fling? I didn't know what this was. I was hoping to find out. Roger, don't worry. I can help you out here. It was nice to meet you. Thanks for the camp. By the way,... congratulations. congratulations. Diane, please. Diane. You know what? This just kills me. We might have hit this one out of the park. It was there. I know it. That can't eat, can't sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence,... World Series kind of thing. Oh well. I have got to get a dictionary. They were so close. Grown-ups. They think too much. I give up. I give up. No, we mustn't. And why mustn't we? And why mustn't we? Because third time's a charm, right? Right. 1 Boss. Boss. It's Miss Kensington. Thanks, Vincenzo. I'll take it down here. Thanks, Vincenzo. I'll take it down here. No, no. Not here. Up there. Up there? Up there? Afraid so. Oh, Roger. Darling. Clarice. Your hair. You're here. What did you do, Pooky? Fall in the lake? It's the funniest... Aren't you supposed to be in New York? I couldn't bear to be away from you a moment longer. I couldn't bear to be away from you a moment longer. You were just gone a day. I know. I was positively miserable the entire time. Which is why I have decided we simply mustn't wait another day. Which is why I have decided we simply mustn't wait another day. To what? To be married, silly. Next month is an eternity. When two people are as much in love as we, I say, what's wrong with tomorrow? Tomorrow? Darling, you haven't said a word about my hair. OK, listen to this. READS: Dear Roger, you are so totally fresh. Just thinking about you drives me mental. 'Meet me at that place where we met that time with the horses. 7 o'clock tonight. Love Diane.' How's that? Very romantic. Want to hear mine? Very romantic. Want to hear mine? Yep. READS: Dear Diane... ROGER'S VOICE: Ever since the first time I saw you riding the horse, I can't stop thinking about it. I know we were disturbed at the lake, but I must see you again where I saved your life, at 7.30. Yours truly, Roger Callaway. Yes. Ah, there you are, my little gum-chewing assailant. Ah, there you are, my little gum-chewing assailant. You're back. What, no big hug hello? You're not supposed to be here. In a perfect world, neither are you. Get packed, we're going to the city. In a perfect world, neither are you. Get packed, we're going to the city. Right now? It's too soon. Maybe I didn't make myself clear. We're leaving tonight. This little act of yours is getting old. What act? Oh, please, by the time I was your age, I had been through three stepmothers. I know the lengths little girls go to to keep Daddy to themselves. I know the lengths little girls go to to keep Daddy to themselves. You got that all wrong, lady. Don't be rude. I am talking. Where was I? Oh yes. You have had Roger to yourself for nine wonderful years. After tomorrow, I'm the woman of the house and you're off to a year-round boarding school, possibly in Tibet. Did you say tomorrow? Should I have come here? Yes, stupid. He's only worth about $20 BILLION for God sakes. Great. Now I'm just after him for his money. How shallow is that? I liked him before I knew he was rich. So I should have come here. He's a little bit engaged, but I've never met her, so maybe that doesn't count. No. God. Come on, ladies, perk up. Come on, Amanda. We're missing the fireworks. Amanda? Amanda, this is Miss Van Dyke. She's from Children's Services. Hello there, little lady. I have some very good news for you. Come to Mama, sweetheart. I feel pretty ding-dang-dong stupid. But my name's Amanda. Alyssa, stop it. Come on, honey. Do we have to listen to this the whole way? Great, now I'm going to be road kill. Diane. Diane. Wait a minute ` what are you doing? Damn. You were supposed to protect her. You should have done something. You could have slit their tyres. You could have slit their tyres. They had the paperwork. You could have slit their tyres. They had the paperwork. What paperwork? We couldn't find you. Miss Van Dyke was here. Did you want us to lie in front of the van? I would have. I'm taking the jeep. Hey, that's the camp's. Hey, that's the camp's. (MUTTERS UNINTELLIGIBLY) RADIO: Lots of tie-ups this morning. It's 20 minutes for the Lincoln, 10 for the Holland. Whatever you do, stay out of midtown. It's going to be wall-to-wall limos as Clarice Kensington finally lands her man. These nincompoops are your new brothers and sisters. From the left you've got Baba, Bridget, Brenda, Bonnie, Billy, Bobby, Ben and little Harry Jr. He's ours. Look here, there's been a big mistake. You see, my name is not Amanda. We know that, honey. We know that, honey. You do? Sure, and you will never have to be Amanda again. That's right, because from now on, you're going to be little Betty Butkis. Give Betty here some Cocoa Pops. Give Betty here some Cocoa Pops. After breakfast, we're going to go and see where your daddy works. Isn't that going to be fun? PHONE RINGS Callaway residence. One moment, please. Miss Callaway, it's for you. Hello, this is Miss Callaway. Amanda, I can't talk long. It's me, Alyssa ` or should I say,... Betty Butkis. Oh no. I'm adopted? Oh. Are those guys scary or what? What happened yesterday? What happened yesterday? Are you sitting down? What happened yesterday? Are you sitting down? Yeah, kinda. Clarice moved up the wedding. Your dad's getting married in two hours and 12 minutes. Oh no. What do we do now? I don't know, but it's going to have to be major. And quick. Amanda, get me out of here. These people aren't just scary, they're` CLICK Amanda? Amanda? DIAL TONE SOUNDS Amanda? DIAL TONE SOUNDS Alyssa? New kids aren't allowed to use the phone ` Butkis rules. KNOCK AT DOOR KNOCK AT DOOR Mm? Hey, Vin. You've been taking care of Alyssa all her life, right? Hey, Vin. You've been taking care of Alyssa all her life, right? No, Alyssa, not again. Answer the question. Answer the question. Yes, from the day she was... you were born. So you know pretty well everything about her. So you know pretty well everything about her. Mm-hm. Every freckle, every bruise, EVERY scar. Yeah, I suppose you could say that. Yeah, I suppose you could say that. Bet you don't remember this one. No, that one escapes me. No, that one escapes me. Broken bottle, sliding in the home. Huh? Huh? Or this one. Rusty nail right through my shoe. Bled for six blocks. How about here? Ever seen this? When did you get that? Roman Candle last 4th of July, right in the head. Roman Candle last 4th of July, right in the head. My God. You're not Alyssa. Nope. Name's Amanda. Put her there. Nope. Name's Amanda. Put her there. Identical strangers. That's amazing. Yeah, and it's weird too. But if you're here with us, then Alyssa is... In a whole lot of trouble. In a whole lot of trouble. I've got to tell Mr Callaway. In a whole lot of trouble. I've got to tell Mr Callaway. Oh, no. Wait. You can't tell him yet. We've got to get him to see Diane one more time before the wedding. They'll fall in love and Clarice will be history. < CLARICE: Where the hell IS everybody? Vincenzo! I sure hope you got a plan. 1 (CLEARS THROAT) Vincenzo? What are you doing here? I came for Mr Callaway's daughter, Alyssa. You got her. I want her back. What? I don't have Roger Callaway's daughter. I don't even know her. What? I don't have Roger Callaway's daughter. I don't even know her. Yes, you do. This is Alyssa Callaway No, you better get your eyes checked, because this is a little girl named Amanda. No, this is your Amanda. But... Oh my God. They're identical. This is amazing. Yeah, and it's weird too. I understand that through some simple mix-up, Alyssa is in the care of Child Services. I've been authorised to tell you that if I get her back right away, there'll be no legal entanglements. Um,... she's not exactly with me here. What? She's been... well, she was adopted. well, she was adopted. Then you better un-adopt her, quick. Mr Callaway's getting married in 90 minutes. He's expecting his real daughter there. 90 minutes. I can't even get to Staten Island and back in 90 minutes Could I suggest that you go really really fast? Here. If you get into any trouble, call this number. Ask for Lou. Lou. Lou who? Well, hey. Look at this mess. Clean it up. You clean it. Betty, put a cork in it, OK? He's management. My father's Roger Callaway. When he finds out what you're doing here, he's going to buy this whole town,.. kick you out of it. Ooh, Roger Callaway, huh? Well, then, how come you ain't at his wedding? Oh yeah. HORNS BEEP HORNS BEEP Come on, Diane, you can do it. We might have to stall a little bit. How? How should I know? You're the brains of this operation. I must be crazy, but I am not going in that church. No matter what happens, I am not going in. It's only natural to be nervous. Actually, I was thinking about the World Series. Actually, I was thinking about the World Series. Baseball? Mm-hm. Vincenzo, did you ever hit a home run? Vincenzo, did you ever hit a home run? Not recently. You know the feeling when it's bottom of the ninth, the bases are loaded,... and you know the next one's coming right down the middle? And then... you just connect. For an instant, you know that it's going over the fence and out of the park,... and further than you could ever imagine. and further than you could ever imagine. < Yeah, it's a great feeling. Yeah. Clarice hates baseball. Don't fail me now. Hello? Hello? You looking for a Butkis? > You looking for a Butkis? > What? You looking for a Butkis? You looking for a Butkis? Yes, I am. Do you know where he is? At the salvage yard ` where else? Harry works those poor kids to the bone. What do you mean? Why do you think he's got so many? Why do you think he's got so many? BANG! Lou. Lou. Hey, buddy, can I use your phone? Lou. Lou. Hey, buddy, can I use your phone? Yeah, sure, no charge. We've been looking for you, Your Highness. Leave me alone. But, Your Majesty, we brought you something. Yeah, something to make you feel more at home. I knew somebody in this church would have a Prozac. I knew somebody in this church would have a Prozac. What is taking so long? Relax, Clarice, enjoy the moment. This is the happiest day of your life. I'm happy. Don't I look happy? This is me happy. See? Happy. Happy. Happy. Happy. Let's get the show on the road! < Here's your royal throne, Alyssa Callaway. Hail Betty, Queen of the Scrap Heap. ALL: Hail, Betty. My name's Alyssa Callaway. Yeah, right. And I'm Princess Di. HELICOPTER WHIRRS Attention, Harry Butkis. We're here to pick up Alyssa Callaway. All you kids in the yard, stand clear. We're coming in. Told ya! Alyssa Callaway? I've got to get you to that church. Hey, that is my kid. Move, you piece of junk. I would love nothing more than to kill you before Social Services do. Alyssa, go ahead. Hurry. Um.. Oh God. Hi, how you doing? Good to see ya. Hey, Gran. Nice hat. Hey, Gran. Nice hat. < Remember, we're in church. Thanks for coming. Thanks for coming. Get moving. ALL: Awww. Any slower and she'd be walking backwards. Any slower and she'd be walking backwards. She's just not herself today. We'll never make it. We only have 10 minutes. So, Lou, how close can you land this thing to the church? So, Lou, how close can you land this thing to the church? Central Park close enough? Central Park? THE Central Park? That'll do. Play ball. CROWD CHEERS HELICOPTER WHIRRS 'BRIDAL CHORUS' PLAYS Who would have thought my first little girl would be the last to get married? Oh, Daddy. Shut up. Enough of this. ORGAN MUSIC SPEEDS UP OK. All right, I'm here. Let's do it. Oh. Dearly beloved. We're gathered here in the sight of God to join in holy matrimony Clarice and Roger. Mm? I'm not going in the church. I'm not going in the church. Oh no. Not another horse. Diane, come on. All right. Fine. Where is the driver? Oh, hey, buddy, you got to take us to St Bart's right away. It's an emergency. I'm on my break. I want to thank you for all your help, bud. I want to thank you for all your help, bud. Hyaah! Hey. Hey. That's my horse! Faster! Faster! For richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, for as long as you both shall live. I do. I do. I really do. Now him. Hit the brakes, sister. Look out! HORN BLARES Hang on. Hang on. I'm hanging on. What street's it on again? What street's it on again? 54th and Park. Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Almost. Signal. Signal. HORN BLARES And do you, Roger, take this woman, Clarice, to be your lawful wedded wife,... to have and to hold, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live? Whoa! Oh God. We made it. Aren't you coming? No... I think I'm just going to wait for Amanda out here. Diane Barrows, get your butt up here this instant! OK. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see. Maybe I'll just stand in the back and take a little look-see. I... I... ROMANTIC MUSIC PLAYS DOOR OPENS Yes. Roger. I can't. Yes. Excuse me? What did you say? I'm so sorry, Clarice. I can't. I should have said something earlier. I'm in love with someone else. TWHACK! TWHACK! Ah! Guess I deserve that. This is all YOUR fault! Lady, if you touch that child, I'll pop you one, so help me God. Oh my God. There's two of them. It's a conspiracy. At least I'll get to hit one of you. Hey! Back off, Barbie. And by the way, you have a little tiny bit of something right here on your teeth. I have never been more humiliated in my life! Wanna bet? ALL LAUGH (SQUEALS) Daddy! About time you showed up. About time you showed up. We got here as soon as we could. Hi, Daddy. This... This is impossible. Nothing's impossible, right, Alyssa? Nothing's impossible, right, Alyssa? You got that right. If you're my... Who are you? Name's Amanda. Put her there. I'm with her. I guess we're even. What do you mean? You saved my life. I'm sorry about that. I just didn't want the wrong girl to go down the aisle. I mean the wrong flower girl. I think you had it right the first time. I think you had it right the first time. Told ya. Third time's a charm. Wait a minute. This was your doing? Oh. It WAS, was it? Ladies, what do you have to say for yourselves? BOTH: So kiss already. Put her there, sister. It's a high fly ball. Over the left-field wall. < (CLEARS THROAT) Excuse me, this gentleman claims that the ladies stole his buggy. Oh my God, he's right. We did. Oh my God, he's right. We did. Whoa, you did go out of your way. Oh my God, he's right. We did. Whoa, you did go out of your way. It was her idea. Vincenzo, I'd like you to ask that gentleman if he'll sell. I don't care what it costs. That horse deserves a house in the country. Oh, I trust we can make some kind of arrangement. Well, girls, what do you say we do a little sightseeing? And then you girls can tell us the whole story. Driver, once around the park, if you please. Driver, once around the park, if you please. It'll be my pleasure, boss. Walk on. Captions by Linda Hughes. Edited by Fiona Jamieson. www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2016