THROUGH THE YEARS, I HAVE BEEN KNOWN BY MANY NAMES ` LATIN GUITAR MUSIC DIABLO GATO, THE FURRY LOVER, CHUPACABRA, FRISKY TWO-TIMES AND THE GINGER HIT MAN. (CHUCKLES) BUT TO MOST... I AM PUSS IN BOOTS! OUTLAW. SQUEAKING (SNORES) INTRIGUING LATIN MUSIC (PURRS) LATIN GUITAR MUSIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, MARGHERITA. (MEOWS) MARGHERITA. (MEOWS) I MEAN, ROSA. (CHUCKLES) UH, SORRY. I THINK MAYBE I SHOULD GO. DING! HMM. INTRIGUING MUSIC (SNORES) FLOORBOARD CREAKS (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) BOTH GRUNT FAST-PACED LATIN MUSIC (GRUNTS) (SNIGGERS) (MEOWS) (GRUNTS) YOU CANNOT RUN FOREVER, PUSS IN BOOTS! (PANTS) BELL TOLLS (SIGHS) (KISSES) WHAT CAN I SAY? I WAS A BAD KITTY. FAST-PACED LATIN MUSIC JUST A FUGITIVE FROM THE LAW, FOREVER RUNNING, SEARCHING FOR A WAY TO CLEAR MY NAME. MAJESTIC LATIN MUSIC AND I WOULD GET THAT CHANCE... ON THIS ONE FATEFUL NIGHT. WHISTLING BOOM! (HOWLS) UPBEAT MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYS FIRE ROARS, CROWD CHEER CLUCKING CROWD CHEER FIREWORKS WHISTLE, CRACKLE DRAMATIC WESTERN MUSIC LOW CHATTER FIREWORKS CRACKLE, PATRONS LAUGH HERE, KITTY, KITTY! (LAUGHS) RAOUL, LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN. OH, WAIT, THAT IS THE CAT! LAUGHTER (GROWLS, SIGHS) ONE LECHE, PLEASE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, SENOR? DID YOU LOSE YOUR BALL OF YARN? LAUGHTER (LAUGHS MIRTHLESSLY) SO FUNNY (!) ONE LECHE COMING UP. (GRUNTS) PATRONS LAUGH BLADE WHOOSHES, THUDS LATIN GUITAR MUSIC BOTTLE RATTLES I AM NOT LOOKING FOR TROUBLE. I AM BUT A HUMBLE GATO IN SEARCH OF HIS NEXT MEAL. PERHAPS YOU GENTLEMEN CAN HELP ME FIND A SIMPLE SCORE? THE ONLY THING YOU'LL FIND TONIGHT IS TROUBLE,... PUSS IN BOOTS. INTRIGUING MUSIC WELL, PERHAPS IF ONE OF US WERE TO TELL THE LAW THAT YOU ARE IN TOWN, WE COULD SPLIT THE REWARD. (SCREAMS) (WHIMPERS) (TUTS) YOU MADE THE CAT ANGRY. YOU DO NOT WANT TO MAKE THE CAT ANGRY! AHEM! THE CHURCH OF ST MICHAEL HAS JUST PUT UP A GOLDEN STATUE OF THE VIRGIN OF GUADALUPE. I DO NOT STEAL FROM CHURCHES. WELL, THE BOYS' ORPHANAGE HAS BEEN DONATED SILVER CANDLESTICKS, THEY WOULD LOOK VERY LOVELY IN YOUR HOME. I DO NOT STEAL FROM ORPHANS. UH, WHAT ABOUT JACK AND JILL? SHH! ARE YOU CRAZY? THE WHAT? TENSE MUSIC THE MURDEROUS OUTLAWS JACK AND JILL HAVE GOTTEN THEIR HANDS ON MAGIC BEANS. DO NOT JOKE WITH ME ABOUT MAGIC BEANS! I SEARCHED HALF MY LIFE FOR THEM. THEY DO NOT EXIST. NO, CAT. WE HAVE SEEN THEM. THESE... ARE THE BEANS OF LEGEND. OH. GROWS A VINE TO THE LAND OF GIANTS AND THE GOLDEN GOOSE. THE GOLDEN GOOSE. A HEIST LIKE THIS COULD SET YOU UP FOR LIFE. ALL NINE OF THEM. SHOW HIM THE GOLDEN EGGS. NO! PLEASE, YOU HAVE SHOWN ENOUGH. ONLY A CAT WITH A DEATH WISH WOULD STEAL THE BEANS FROM JACK AND JILL. THE ONLY WISH I HAVE IS TO REPAY AN OLD DEBT. AND THIS IS MY CHANCE. NOW,... WHERE DO I FIND THIS JACK AND JILL? BOARS SQUEAL CURIOUS MUSIC CURIOUS MUSIC CONTINUES (SWALLOWS) (PLAYS GENTLE ACCORDION MUSIC) (SWALLOWS) (PLAYS GENTLE ACCORDION MUSIC) RUMBLING (SWALLOWS) (PLAYS GENTLE ACCORDION MUSIC) RUMBLING HUH? (GASPS) HINGE SQUEAKS, FOOTSTEPS THUD PEOPLE GASP I'M SORRY. WE HAVE NO ROOMS. BOOM! MAN GROANS WELL, I THINK ONE JUST OPENED UP. (WHIMPERS) WE'D LIKE A COMPLIMENTARY CONTINENTAL BREAKFAST. AND DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT SKIMPIN' ON THEM BABY MUFFINS. LOCK CLICKS WE DON'T HAVE ANY BABY MUFFINS. (WHIMPERS, SOBS) (PLAYS GENTLE ACCORDION MUSIC) BLADE SWISHES (PLAYS GENTLE ACCORDION MUSIC) BLADE SWISHES YOU KNOW, JILL, I BEEN THINKING. (SIGHS) GET IT OUT. I, UM, ONCE WE'RE DONE WITH THIS MAGIC-BEAN BUSINESS AND GOT OURSELVES ALL THEM BEAUTIFUL GOLDEN EGGS... MM-HM. GO ON. WELL, THAT WE CUT DOWN ON SOME OF THE HIJACKING AND MURDERING. I MEAN, IT'S FUN AND ALL, BUT, UH,... I WANT A BABY. (BARKS) FIREWORK CRACKLES IN DISTANCE A BABY WHAT, JACK? A BABY US, JILL. WE'LL RAISE IT WILD, LIKE A SQUIRREL OR SOMETHING. HOLY FRIJOLES! THEY DO EXIST. (SIGHS) EVER SINCE YOU FELL DOWN THAT HILL AND BROKE YOUR CROWN, YOU HAVE BEEN TALKING CRAZY. CLAWS CLICK (SCRATCHES GLASSES) IT COULDN'T HURT TO HAVE AN EXTRA SHOOTER DURING AMBUSHES. MAYBE I CUT TOO DEEP ` CUT THAT BRAIN OUT OF YOUR HEAD. WHISPERS: HEY! WHAT GIVES? (HISSES) IF IT'S TO BE A GIRL, SHE'LL HAVE YOUR STRONG... NO! NO! NO! YOU, YOU, YOU! YOU STOP WHERE YOU ARE! I DON'T KNOW, JACK. HOW DO I RIDE AND SHOOT WITH A BABY SLUNG ON MY BACK? I DON'T KNOW, JACK. HOW DO I RIDE THEY GOT THEM BACKPACKS NOW. BACK? I DON'T KNOW, JACK. HOW DO I RIDE THEY GOT THEM BACKPACKS NOW. THE WAY I SEE IT, JILL... THOSE BEANS ARE MINE! (GRUNTS) ME? YOU SNAP ME? (GRUNTS) YOU SNAP ME?! (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) (GROWLS) BOTH HISS GUNFIRE BOTH HISS GUNFIRE (MEOWS) ARE YOU LOOKING FOR SOMETHING? BOTH LAUGH UH,... NO. (CHUCKLES) NO HABLO INGLES. (YELLS) YOU ARE GOING TO PAY FOR THIS! GUNSHOT, PEOPLE CLAMOUR (CACKLES) (GRUNTS, GROWLS) PEOPLE CLAMOUR (BLOWS RASPBERRY) PEOPLE CLAMOUR (BLOWS RASPBERRY) HA! DRAMATIC MUSIC (MEOWS) EXCITING LATIN MUSIC (GRUNTS) (GASPS) (GRUNTS) NO! (SIGHS, YELLS) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) CHUPACABRA! CHUPACABRA! CHUPACABRA! CHUPACABRA! YOU ARE A CRAZY WOMAN! (GRUNTS) EXCITING LATIN MUSIC CONTINUES (GRUNTS) PEOPLE GASP (PURRS) (GIGGLES) (GRUNTS) AHA! MAJESTIC LATIN MUSIC (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) CATS MEOW, GLASS SHATTERS (YELLS) SMOOTH MUSIC PLAYS CATS MEOW SOFTLY AHEM! MEXICAN STAND-OFF MUSIC THOSE MAGIC BEANS WERE MY SCORE! YOU JUST COST ME A CHANCE AT GETTING THE GOLDEN EGGS, MI AMIGO. PUT UP YOUR DUKES. RATTLING (RATTLES COCKTAIL SHAKER) RATTLING (RATTLES COCKTAIL SHAKER) CATS MEOW CATS PLAY PERCUSSION MUSIC (DRUMS) BELL CLANGS PERCUSSION MUSIC STOPS (PLAYS RAPID DRUM MUSIC) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) CATS MEOW PSST! VERY WELL. IF IT IS TO BE A DANCE FIGHT, THEN I WILL TUESDAY-NIGHT-DANCE-FIGHT YOU TO THE DEATH! (PLAYS FLAMENCO MUSIC) (GRUNTS) (PLAYS FLAMENCO MUSIC) (GRUNTS) CATS MEOW FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS (HISSES) (GASPS) HOW DARE YOU DO THE LITTER BOX AT ME! HELLO! (CHUCKLES) DO-DO! (GRUNTS) CATS MEOW (LAUGHS, GRUNTS) FLAMENCO MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING (SINGS) BOTH GRUNT CAN YOU FEEL ME? (HISSES) BOTH GRUNT MUSIC INTENSIFIES (LAUGHS) CATS GASP GRUNTING (HISSES) GRUNTING (HISSES) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) CATS MEOW SLOW LATIN MUSIC FIREWORK BOOMS (GROWLS) (MEOWS) (GRUNTS) FEAR ME... IF YOU DARE. BLADE SWOOSHES (GRUNTS) FEAR ME... IF YOU DARE. BLADE SWOOSHES (GASPS) BOTH GRUNT (GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES) EXCITING LATIN MUSIC BOTH GRUNT (GRUNTS, MEOWS) CATS GASP YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH A GUITAR?! YOU` YOU ARE A WOMAN? OH! WHOA! (SCOFFS) AMATEUR. WOW! CATS MEOW WOW! CATS MEOW SENORITA, WAIT! LET ME BUY YOU SOME LECHE! I` I AM A LOVER, NOT A... FIGHTER. HELLO? YOU ARE HIDING FROM ME? I LIKE TO PLAY THE GAMES TOO. I SENSE IN YOU A KINDRED SPIRIT, A... (SNIFFS) (SIGHS) I SMELL SOMETHING FAMILIAR. (SNIFFS) SOMETHING... DANGEROUS. SOMETHING... BREAKFASTY. IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME, BROTHER. MALDITO HUEVO. (GRUNTS) HUMPTY ALEXANDER DUMPTY. HOW DARE YOU SHOW YOUR FACE TO ME. (SIGHS) I KNOW YOU'RE ANGRY. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT. BUT IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU, PUSS. YOU HAVE EVERY RIGHT. BUT IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU, PUSS. (GRUNTS) ARE THOSE NEW BOOTS? BUT IT IS GOOD TO SEE YOU, PUSS. (GRUNTS) ARE THOSE NEW BOOTS? NO! THEY ARE THE SAME BOOTS I WORE WHEN YOU BETRAYED ME. B-BETRAYED YOU? YOU LEFT ME CRACKED IN PIECES ON A BRIDGE, SURROUNDED BY SOLDIERS! THEY WROTE A SONG ABOUT IT! AND HOW DID WE GET ON THAT BRIDGE IN THE FIRST PLACE?! BECAUSE WE WERE BROTHERS, AND BROTHERS ARE SUPPOSED TO LOOK AFTER EACH OTHER` HUMPTY! REMEMBER WHY WE'RE HERE. I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN. I HAD THE MAGIC BEANS IN MY GRASP, AND YOU SENT THIS VERY... ATTRACTIVE DEVIL WOMAN TO INTERFERE. YOU ARE A CURSE ON MY LIFE! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WAIT. HEAR ME OUT. OK? YES, YES, I SENT KITTY TO BRING YOU HERE. BUT SHE IS NO ORDINARY THIEF. SHE'S KITTY SOFTPAWS. THE SOFTEST TOUCH IN SPAIN. THAT'S A LOT OF HEEL FOR A GUY, DON'T YOU THINK? (SIGHS) LOOK, WITH KITTY'S SKILL, YOUR SWORD AND MY BRAIN, WE'VE GOT A FIGHTING CHANCE HERE. PUSS, COME ON. YOU OF ALL PEOPLE KNOW THAT NOBODY'S EVER RIPPED OFF THE GIANT'S CASTLE AND LIVED TO TELL THE TALE. YOU WANT TO SURVIVE? YOU NEED A PLAN. AND I'VE STUDIED THIS JOB MY WHOLE LIFE. YOU KNOW THAT. AND L`L-LET'S BE HONEST ` WITHOUT ME, YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO PLANT THE BEANS, PUSS. BUT JACK AND JILL DO. THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY. WE GO UP THE BEANSTALK OUTLAWS, AND WE COME DOWN LEGENDS. SO WHAT DO YOU SAY? PARTNERS? NO. NEVER AGAIN. I'M SORRY, OK? HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA HOLD A GRUDGE? IT'S BEEN SEVEN YEARS! THAT'S, LIKE, 35 CAT YEARS. YOU NEED ME! AND I NEED YOU. PUSS! YOU GOT ANY IDEA WHAT THEY DO TO EGGS IN SAN RICARDO PRISON? SMOOTH MUSIC PLAYS MUSIC STOPS I'LL TELL YOU THIS, MY FRIEND ` IT AIN'T OVER EASY. OH! ADIOS,... HUMPTY DUMPTY. (SINGS IN SPANISH) OH, THIS IS BAD. THIS IS BAD. DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT. I KNOW HOW TO SPEAK MEOW. I AM PUSS IN BOOTS! ...SAD STORY WITH YOUR TWISTED LIES IN YOUR GREASY SHELL THAT SMELLS LIKE OLD HAM! I SHOULD CRACK YOU OPEN FOR` (GASPS) (MEOWS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (SCOFFS) LOOK WHAT I FOUND. SOMEONE FORGOT HIS MONEY. COINS JINGLE OH, YOU ARE DANGEROUS. (CHUCKLES) WELL, HUMPTY SAYS YOU LIKE DANGER. JUST THINK OF ALL THE TROUBLE WE CAN GET INTO, THE TWO OF US TOGETHER. (SNIFFS) THE TWO OF US TOGETHER. (SNIFFS) WE CAN STEAL A LOT OF GOLDEN EGGS. HM? (GROWLS) AND... YOU OWE ME. I OWE YOU? MM-HM. YOU HIT ME IN THE HEAD WITH A GUITAR. I REGRET THE GUITAR. OK, I FORGIVE YOU. SO,... YOU'RE IN? (CHUCKLES) THERE IS ONE TEENY-TINY, ITTY-BITTY PROBLEM. AND WHAT IS THAT? YOU WORK FOR THE EGG! OH, COME ON, PUSS. WHAT HAPPENED BETWEEN YOU AND HUMPTY THAT WAS SO BAD? (SIGHS) I AM AFRAID, WITH ME AND HUMPTY,... (SIGHS) THE SCARS ARE TOO DEEP. (SIGHS) IT ALL STARTED A LONG TIME AGO. OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU REALLY DON'T HAVE TO TELL ME YOUR WHOLE LIFE STORY, PLEASE. OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU REALLY DON'T YOU MAY WANT TO SIT. STORY, PLEASE. OH, NO, NO, NO. YOU REALLY DON'T YOU MAY WANT TO SIT. OH! IT IS AT TIMES QUITE... PAINFUL. OK, HERE WE GO. IT WAS A YEAR IN WHICH THE RAIN HAD NOT FALLEN. THE WIND WAS BIG, AND THE BASKET WAS SMALL. FOR DAYS, I BOUNCED ALONG, A HUNGRY LITTLE KITTEN WITH NO MILK, NO MAMA AND NO LITTER BOX. UNTIL I CAME TO REST AT A HOME FOR LOST CHILDREN. HOLY MUSIC (MEOWS) OH! GENTLE MUSIC HER NAME WAS IMELDA. AND LIKE A MOTHER, SHE TOOK ME INTO HER HEART AND RAISED ME AS HER OWN. CHILDREN CHANT SILENCIO. CHILDREN CHANT SILENCIO. CHILDREN CHANT SILENCIO! SHE WAS AN ANGEL OF KINDNESS. SILENCIO! MOST OF THE TIME. I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE A NEW BOY JOINING US. IT'S OK, PEQUENO. YOU SHOW WITH THE FACE. GO ON. (MEOWS) AND, UH, THAT WAS THE MOMENT I MET... HUMPTY ALEXANDER DUMPTY. HEY, WHISKERS! YOU'RE SITTING IN LITTLE BOY BLUE'S CHAIR. OH, COME ON. IS THIS NECESSARY? WHY DON'T YOU PICK ON SOMEBODY YOUR OWN SIZE? WHO ASKED YOU, BREAKFAST? REMEMBER WHAT IMELDA SAYS, BOY BLUE ` IF YOU'RE GOING TO BLOW YOUR TOP, YOU BLOW YOUR HORN INSTEAD, RIGHT? LET'S SPIN HIM. (YELPS) PLEASE DON'T SPIN ME. DO NOT SPIN ME! NOT AGAIN! NO! I'M GOING TO YOLK! EVEN THOUGH HE TOOK MY BEANS, THE EGG STOOD UP FOR ME, AND I DECIDED THEN... (GROANS) THAT I WOULD ALWAYS HAVE HIS BACK. CHILDREN EXCLAIM GROANING (HISSES) (GRUNTS) WOW! THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. THANKS! HEY, EGG BOY! (GRUNTS) WOW! THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. THANKS! HEY, EGG BOY! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) WOW! THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. THANKS! HEY, EGG BOY! (GRUNTS) CHILDREN IMITATE CHICKEN CLUCKING (GRUNTS) WOW! THAT WAS VERY IMPRESSIVE. THANKS! THERE WAS SOMETHING ABOUT THIS STRANGE LITTLE EGG THAT INTRIGUED ME. MAGICAL MUSIC AIR HISSES (YELPS) OH, IT'S YOU. I'VE BEEN COLLECTING FOR MONTHS NOW. YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN YOU'RE GONNA GET LUCKY. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? MAGIC BEANS IS WHAT THEY ARE. HELLO? YOU GONNA TELL ALL THE OTHER KIDS THAT I BELIEVE IN MAGIC NOW? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO? NO? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? NO? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (MEOWS) NO? WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (MEOWS) YOU DON'T SAY MUCH, DO YOU? WELL, I THINK I'LL CALL YOU SPARKY. WHISKERS? ZOLTAR! HOW ABOUT PUSS? HUMPTY'S MIND WAS FULL OF IMAGINATION AND INVENTION. WHAT IS THAT? 50FT DOWN THERE? HERE WE GO. GIVE ME A... (YELLS) PUSS! WHOOSH! LOOK AT ME, PUSS! I` I'M FLYING! (LAUGHS) (YELPS) HE SPOKE OF LEGENDS AND ADVENTURES BEYOND MY WILDEST DREAMS. OH, WHEN I FIND THOSE MAGIC BEANS, THEY'LL GROW A VINE STRAIGHT UP INTO THE CLOUDS, WHERE A TERRIBLE AND A FEARSOME GIANT HOARDS HIS GREATEST TREASURE ` THE GOLDEN GOOSE. OH, THE GOLDEN GOOSE. JUST ONE. JUST ONE OF HER GOLDEN EGGS COULD SET ME FOR LIFE. IT'S MY DESTINY, PUSS. I CAN'T REALLY EXPLAIN IT, BUT I JUST FEEL LIKE I BELONG UP THERE. BOTH SIGH HAPPILY (SIGHS) OH BOY. THIS IS AWKWARD. THIS IS KIND OF A` A SOLO DREAM HERE. I DON'T NEED ANY DEAD WEIGHT, YOU KNOW, HOLDING ME DOWN. (PURRS) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? OH, MAN, THAT'S GOOD. THE EYE THING THAT YOU'RE DOING, THAT IS REALLY SPLENDID. OK, LET ME JUST THINK FOR A SECOND. ALL RIGHT. OK. UH,... THIS IS CRAZY, BUT I AM CONSIDERING A PARTNERSHIP. I JUST NEED TO KNOW ONE THING ` CAN YOU COMMIT? SI. I CAN COMMIT. OH, YOU CAN TALK! COULD YOU HELP ME UP? (GRUNTS) OK. FIRST RULE OF BEAN CLUB ` YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT BEAN CLUB. SECOND RULE OF BEAN CLUB ` IS YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT BEAN CLUB. YOU READY? IS YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT BEAN CLUB. YOU READY? READY. FROM THIS DAY FORTH, IT SHALL BE KNOWN,... ...NEVER ALONE, ALWAYS TOGETHER,... ...HUMPTY AND PUSS... BOTH: ...BROTHERS FOREVER. AND FROM THAT MOMENT ON, WE WERE UNITED ON A GREAT ADVENTURE TO FIND THE MAGIC BEANS. HELP ME UP. EGG ME. HUMPTY WAS THE BRAINS... WOMAN YELPS, PEOPLE GASP GOOD GRACIOUS! I NEVER SAW HIM! THAT REALLY HURT! AND I WAS THE SKILL. I'M CRACKED! WELL, WE GOT RED BEANS, GREEN BEANS, COFFEE BEANS, LIMA BEANS, BUT NO MAGIC BEANS. WELL, WE GOT RED BEANS, GREEN BEANS, WOULD YOU CARE FOR A JELLY BEAN? MAGIC BEANS. WELL, WE GOT RED BEANS, GREEN BEANS, WOULD YOU CARE FOR A JELLY BEAN? OH, THANK YOU. FINDING THEM MEANT EVERYTHING TO US. OH, I ALMOST FORGOT THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ` THAT'S ME AND YOU, PUSS. ME AND YOU. BUT WE NEVER DID FIND THEM. AND AS YEARS PASSED, THE QUEST FOR MAGIC BEANS SEEMED MORE AND MORE LIKE THE DREAMS OF A CHILD. AW! AS TEENAGERS, HUMPTY AND I LOOKED FOR TROUBLE... AND OFTEN FOUND IT. THIRD TIME THIS MONTH, IMELDA. NEXT TIME IS JAIL TIME. THEY'RE JUST KIDS. THEY ARE THIEVES. (CLEARS THROAT) YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS. I BELIEVE IN YOU WITH ALL MY HEART. PLEASE DO NOT LET ME DOWN. I HATE THIS PLACE. I CANNOT WAIT FOR US TO GET OUT OF HERE. THROW A ROCK. IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. (GRUNTS) (ROARS) PEOPLE GASP OH BOY. WE SHOULD GO. DRAMATIC MUSIC ON INSTINCT, I REACTED. (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) (GASPS) (GROWLS) DRAMATIC MUSIC (GRUNTS) HE SAVED THE COMANDANTE'S MOTHER! HE SAVED THE COMANDANTE'S MOTHER! (BELLOWS) YOU SAVED MY MOTHER. SENOR PUSS, HE IS A HERO! CROWD CHEER, FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS HE IS A HERO! CROWD CHEER, FESTIVE MUSIC PLAYS TODAY WE SEE THAT COURAGE AND BRAVERY COME IN ALL SIZES! LITTLE DID I KNOW THAT ONE MOMENT WOULD CHANGE MY WHOLE LIFE. THESE ARE FOR YOU, MY BOY. WEAR THEM AS A SYMBOL OF HONOUR AND JUSTICE. I WILL MAKE YOU PROUD, MAMA. YOU ALREADY HAVE, MY PUSS IN BOOTS. MAJESTIC LATIN MUSIC HOW STRANGE IT WAS TO GIVE A CAT BOOTS, BUT WHOA, I LOOKED GOOD! AND AS THE LIGHT OF MY PATH GREW BRIGHTER, HUMPTY'S ROAD GREW EVER DARKER. SOMBRE MUSIC CLINKING GRACIAS, COMANDANTE. BE CAREFUL OF THE COMPANY YOU KEEP. (SPITS) I KNOW! I KNOW, I NEVER SHOULD'VE TRIED SOMETHING WITHOUT YOU. YOU'RE NOT STEALING LOLLIPOPS ANY MORE, HUMPTY. THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS. YOU'RE RIGHT! WE HAVE TO BE SMARTER ABOUT THIS. HERE, LOOK. WE NEED TO THINK BIGGER. I'VE BEEN CASING THE SILVERSMITH, AND IT'S PERFECT. YOU AND ME; IN AND OUT; 50 SECONDS TOPS. WILL YOU PUT THAT AWAY! THIS IS OUR HOME. THESE PEOPLE HAVE DONE NOTHING TO US! OUR HOME? OK, YEAH, I GET IT NOW. YOU GET SOME FANCY BOOTS, AND NOW YOU'RE TOO GOOD FOR ME? THAT IS NOT TRUE. WE WEREN'T BORN HERE. WE'RE ORPHANS! ALL WE GOT IS EACH OTHER, YOU UNDERSTAND? WE WEREN'T BORN HERE. WE'RE ORPHANS! ALL WE GOT IS EACH OTHER, YOU UNDERSTAND? WE ARE BETTER THAN THIS. BUT WE'RE PARTNERS. WE ARE BROTHERS. BUT I AM NOT STEALING ANY MORE. EMOTIVE MUSIC BUT HUMPTY WOULD NOT GIVE UP SO EASILY. (MEOWS) GIVE UP SO EASILY. (MEOWS) I'M IN TROUBLE, PUSS! IT'S BOY BLUE AND HIS GANG. I OWE THEM SOME MONEY. THEY'RE COMING FOR ME. JUST GET ME OVER THIS WALL. WE GOTTA GO. HELP ME UP THE WALL. GET ME UP THE WALL. HURRY! HURRY! TENSE MUSIC OMINOUS MUSIC THUDDING WHISTLE BLOWS, BELLS RING OK, I'VE GOT EVERYTHING. WE DID IT. COME ON, LET'S GO! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! I DID YOU A FAVOUR! WE CAN FINALLY GET OUT OF HERE! THIS IS THE MONEY OF THE PEOPLE! THIS IS ALL THEY HAVE! (HISSES) (GRUNTS) (HISSES) (GRUNTS) PEOPLE CHATTER (GASPS) YOU DISGRACE THOSE BOOTS! COMANDANTE, PLEASE, I CAN EXPLAIN! ARREST THEM! YA! ARREST THEM! YA! (WHINNIES) DRAMATIC MUSIC HURRY UP! GET TO THE BRIDGE! YOU TRICKED ME! HURRY UP! GET TO THE BRIDGE! YOU TRICKED ME! I HAD TO! YOU LEFT ME NO CHOICE! (WHINNIES) MEN YELL DRAMATIC MUSIC (GASPS) MAMA. PEQUENO. OH, WATCH OUT! (WHINNIES) (GRUNTS) YELLING COINS JINGLE OH NO. PUSS. I CAN'T GET UP. PUSS! HELP ME. I CAN'T GET UP! FREEZE! PUSS, SAVE ME! SAVE YOURSELF. PUSS, SAVE ME! SAVE YOURSELF. (GASPS) WE GOT YOU. DRAMATIC MUSIC MELANCHOLY MUSIC I LOST EVERYTHING I CARED ABOUT THAT DAY. MY BROTHER. MY HONOUR. MY HOME. ALL I THOUGHT ABOUT WAS THE DISAPPOINTMENT IN MY MAMA'S EYES. AND I HAVE BEEN RUNNING EVER SINCE. THE EGG BETRAYED ME. HIS LIES COST ME EVERYTHING. (SNORES) HEY! (SNORES) HEY! (GASPS) I'M AWAKE! YOU THINK I DON'T WANT TO FIX THE PAST? I CAN'T GET DOWN. (GROANS) (GRUNTS) LISTEN, A DAY... A DAY DOESN'T GO BY WHEN I DON'T THINK ABOUT WHAT I LOST. I LOST MY BEST FRIEND. MY ONLY FRIEND. AND I GET IT NOW. I GOT GREEDY AND DESPERATE, AND I LET YOU DOWN. I LET MYSELF DOWN. ALL I'M ASKING FOR, PUSS, IS A SECOND CHANCE. GIVE ME THAT SECOND CHANCE, AND I'LL HELP YOU PAY BACK SAN RICARDO. (SIGHS) PLEASE, PUSS, LET ME SHOW YOU WHAT OUR FRIENDSHIP MEANT TO ME. (SIGHS) I WILL DO IT. OH, THAT'S GREAT! I WILL DO THIS FOR MY MOTHER AND FOR SAN RICARDO, NOT FOR YOU. WE ARE NOT PARTNERS, AND WE ARE NOT FRIENDS. (SIGHS) OK. I PROMISE THIS TIME, I WILL NOT LET YOU DOWN. (SIGHS) YES! (LAUGHS) I THINK WE GOT OUR BEAN CLUB BACK. BOARS GRUNT OMINOUS MUSIC BOARS SQUEAL, GRUNT (GROWLS SOFTLY) HUMPTY'S PLAN BETTER WORK. LISTEN, YOU JUST NEED TO WORRY ABOUT YOUR PART. DON'T SCREW IT UP. WHAT? ABOUT YOUR PART. DON'T SCREW IT UP. WHAT? AGAIN WITH THE MASK? I DON'T NEED STYLE ADVICE FROM MR DUSTY BOOTS. HUH? DRAMATIC MUSIC (GROWLS) COME ON, PUSS. NOW! (GRUNTS) OUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCKS ARE TICKIN', DARLIN'. YOU GOTTA START LOOKING AT THE BIG PICTURE. OUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCKS ARE TICKIN', WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? AT THE BIG PICTURE. OUR BIOLOGICAL CLOCKS ARE TICKIN', WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM? HUH? LISTEN. I PUT A LOT OF WORK INTO MY BODY. I LOOK GOOD, AND I AM NOT JUST GONNA THROW THAT AWAY. BOTH GASP BOTH GRUNT HEY, HEY, HEY. WHAT? LOOK! LET'S JUST PRETEND YOU HAVE A BABY. PIGLETS SNORT EXCELLENT. (LAUGHS) I DON'T HAVE TIME TO BE AT HOME WITH NO DIAPERS AND BABY SOCKS. YOU DON'T HAVE TO, JILL. I'LL BE THE STAY-AT-HOME DAD. WE GOT 10 HUNGRY PIGGIES THERE IN THE BACK. YOU CAN PRACTISE ON THEM. JUST PULL OVER, FEED 'EM. (GASPS) YOU'VE GOT TO HURRY UP. SHH! HE'S A CUTE LITTLE BUGGER. WHY ARE YOU NOT USING YOUR CLAWS? WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST SHUT UP! I'M ON IT! JUST USE YOUR CLAWS! BE QUIET. YOUR CLAWS! I DON'T HAVE ANY CLAWS, ALL RIGHT?! (SNORTS) WAS THAT HAMHOCK? (GASPS) (SNORTS) SHH! SHH! SHH! CURIOUS MUSIC THERE, THERE. SLEEPY, SLEEPY, BIG, FAT PIGGY. (SQUEALS HAPPILY) JILL: REMEMBER WHEN WE HAD TO PRETEND WE HAD THAT MONKEY ONE TIME? YOU BABYSIT. SOFT PAWS. (SIGHS) WELL? MAGICAL MUSIC HELLO, BEANS OF LEGEND. LET'S GO. (SQUEALS LOUDLY) (GRUNTS) WHIRRING WELL, WELL, WELL. LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE, JILL. YOU MESSED WITH OUR BABY. (GROWLS) AND YOU TOOK MY BEANS. (CHUCKLES) (SQUEALS) SAUSAGE BOMB! (HISSES) (GRUNTS) DRAMATIC LATIN MUSIC JILL: OH, YOU'RE GONNA PAY FOR THIS, SOUL-SUCKING CATS! JACK AND JILL GRUNT SIGNAL THE EGG! YES! REINS CRACK DRAMATIC LATIN MUSIC OK. READY. SET. GO! BOTH GRUNT JILL CACKLES (GROANS) (GASPS) BOARS SQUEAL (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) (GASPS) OH MY GOD! (GROWLS) (GASPS) (GASPS) WHOA! (GASPS) GRUNTING (SIGHS, GASPS) (LAUGHS) ALL RIGHT, CAT. GIVE ME THEM BEANS. (GRUNTS) IS IT TRUE A CAT ALWAYS LANDS ON ITS FEET? NO! THAT IS JUST A RUMOUR SPREAD BY DOGS! (GRUNTS) WELL, LET'S FIND OUT. YA! WELL, LET'S FIND OUT. YA! (GASPS) YA! DRAMATIC LATIN MUSIC SEE? I TOLD YOU I WOULDN'T LET YOU DOWN! BANG! YOU THINK THIS IS OVER? HA! CANONS CLANK ALL GASP (WHINNIES) HEY, THAT WAS CLOSE! RAPID GUNFIRE YA! NOW! ALL YELL WE JUST GOT TO MAKE IT TO THAT BRIDGE! HANG ON! HUMPTY! THERE IS NO BRIDGE! TRUST ME. BOARS SQUEAL BOTH GASP KITTY AND PUSS: HUMPTY! ALL YELL BOTH GASP WE'RE GOING TO DIE! (WHINNIES) YELLING TRIUMPHANT MUSIC I HATE CATS. THIS IS WAR! YELLING, CHEERING ALL LAUGH GIANT'S CASTLE, HERE WE COME. (SIGHS) I MUST HAND IT TO THE EGG. THIS WAS A TEAM EFFORT. HUMPTY STILL HAS HIS CLAWS` I MEAN, FLAWS, UH, WAS WHAT I MEANT, NOT CLAWS. HE'S NOT A CAT. (CHUCKLES) UH, NOT TO SAY THERE'S ANYTHING WRONG` I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT. GOT IT. (MUTTERS) OK, WE SHOULD BE CLOSE! KEEP YOUR EYES OUT FOR ANY STRANGE CLOUD ACTIVITY! I AM CALLED KITTY SOFTPAWS BECAUSE I'LL STEAL YOU BLIND, AND YOU'LL NEVER EVEN KNOW I WAS THERE. (GASPS) (GROWLS) KITTY,... YOU ARE NOT AS GOOD AS THEY SAY. YOU'RE BETTER. I WILL RESPECT YOUR PRIVACY. (SIGHS) OK. I'LL TELL YOU. I WAS JUST A STRAY, BUT I HAD BEAUTIFUL CLAWS. ONE DAY, A REALLY NICE COUPLE TOOK ME IN, GAVE ME MILK EVERY MORNING, LOVED ME. MAYBE I SCRATCHED THEIR CURTAINS OR PLAYED TOO ROUGH WITH THE HAMSTER. I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY DID IT. BUT THEY TOOK MY CLAWS. CAT PEOPLE ARE CRAZY. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) STOP! STOP THE COACH! I THINK THIS IS IT! EXCITING LATIN MUSIC (YELPS) (MUTTERS) (SIGHS) CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS, PUSS? AFTER ALL THESE YEARS! HERE. I WANT YOU TO PLANT THEM. MOMENTOUS MUSIC THAT... IS A STRANGE CLOUD. (GASPS) WHOA, OK! THIS IS IT! IT'S HAPPENING, HURRY! THIS WAY! GOOD, GOOD. COME ON, COME ON, COME ON. 23 DIVIDED BY CLOUD DEPTH. HOLE! RIGHT HERE. NOW PLACE THE BEANS. (GASPS) PLACE THE BEANS CAREFULLY, PLEASE. NOT ON TOP OF EACH OTHER. THE MAGIC IS VERY DELICATE. OK, GOOD. VERY GOOD. NOW JUST STAND BACK. MOMENTOUS MUSIC DRAMATIC MUSIC WIND WHISTLES (GRUNTS) (GASPS) RUMBLING WHOOSH! WHOA! GRUNTING WHAT'S HAPPENING HERE? MAYBE THE MAGIC RUBBED OFF IN YOUR POCKET? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. OK, OK. LET'S NOT PANIC. YOU KNOW, I READ SOMEWHERE THAT PLANTS HAVE FEELINGS, SO COME ON, SAY SOMETHING NICE TO IT. OK. LET ME JUST THINK FOR A SECOND. HI, LITTLE PLANT. RUMBLING DRAMATIC MUSIC (GRUNTS) WHOA! (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS, GASPS) DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES (YELLS) (GASPS) BOTH GRUNT (CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) LIGHTNING CRACKS, THUNDER RUMBLES THUNDER RUMBLES MAGICAL MUSIC (SIGHS) MAGICAL MUSIC CONTINUES WIND WHISTLES SOFTLY (GASPS) SQUEAKILY: UH, GUYS? (YELLS) BOTH SQUEAKILY: HUMPTY! I DO NOT SEE HIM. DO YOU SEE HIM? BOTH SQUEAKILY: HUMPTY! I DO NOT SEE HIM. DO YOU SEE HIM? I DON'T SEE HIM ANYWHERE. YOU SOUND WEIRD. (GASPS) IT'S THE THIN AIR! COME ON IN! IT FEELS GREAT! ALL CHEER WHOA, THE CLOUD, IT TICKLES MY NOSE. (CHEERS) THAT'S BECAUSE THEY EFFERVESCE! WHO KNEW? (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) COME ON. BOTH LAUGH, SHOUT FUN MUSIC (GROWLS) (PANTS) (GASPS) GOTCHA! (MEOWS) (SIGHS) (MEOWS) (SIGHS) BOTH CHUCKLE MEOW. (GIGGLES) HEY, PUSS. WHAT DO YOU THINK? DO I SHAVE? (CHUCKLES) LET ME SHOW YOU SOMETHING. (MOUTHS) SENTIMENTAL MUSIC SOMEWHERE DOWN THERE, THERE ARE TWO LITTLE KIDS, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE ORPHANS, AND THEY'RE LAYING ON A HILL, STARING AT THE CLOUDS, DREAMING ABOUT THE FUTURE. THAT WAS ME AND YOU, PUSS. ME AND YOU. BOYS! YOU MIGHT WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AT THIS. MAGICAL MUSIC THE GIANT'S CASTLE. (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) OK, TIME TO SUIT UP. HUMPTY! I'LL FIT RIGHT IN WITH THE GOLDEN EGGS. (GROANS) BRILLIANT OR WHAT, HUH? HUMPTY, YOU'RE NOT WEARING UNDERWEAR! UH, WHAT? ARE YOU EMBARRASSED? I'M NOT. (LAUGHS) PUSS, REMEMBER WHEN EVERYONE WAS LAUGHING AT BEAN CLUB? AND WHO IS LAUGHING NOW? (LAUGHS) WE ARE! I AM PUSS IN BOOTS! MAGICAL MUSIC WOW! INTRIGUING MUSIC NORMAL VOICE: THAT IS OUR TARGET. NORMAL VOICE: HEY, YOU DON'T SOUND LIKE AN ELF ANYMORE. IT'S BECAUSE THE AIR PRESSURE IN HERE IS NORMAL. NORMAL VOICE: LET'S GO. ADVENTUROUS LATIN MUSIC SO HERE IS THE PLAN ` YOU TWO GET THE GOLDEN EGGS; I WILL FIGHT THE GIANT. THERE'S NO GIANT TO FIGHT. THE GIANT'S BEEN DEAD FOR YEARS. WHAT?! YOU DIDN'T DO THE READING, DID YOU? OH WELL. JACK AND THE BEANSTALK, CHAPTER 14 ` GIANT TAKES A BIG DIRT-NAP. (YELPS) ANKLE BURN. ROARING (GASPS) (YELPS) GROWLING W-W-WHAT WAS THAT? THEY CALL IT THE GREAT TERROR. IT'S THE MONSTER THAT GUARDS THE GOLDEN GOOSE. LEGEND HAS IT THAT IF YOU LOOK AT IT, YOU'LL TURN TO STONE. BUT NOBODY REALLY KNOWS, BECAUSE NOBODY'S WALKED AWAY FROM IT ALIVE. FOLLOW ME AND KEEP QUIET. SQUEAKING SQUEAKING SHH! HUMPTY! I CAN'T HELP IT. EVERYTHING'S RUBBING AND PINCHING! I NEED POWDER! SQUEAKING (PANTS) ALL GASP GLASS SHATTERS, CREATURE ROARS (GASPS) (GRUNTS) ALL GASP HOW ARE WE GONNA GET ACROSS? BOTTLE CLINKS CHAMPAGNE. (GRUNTS) CHEERS! POP! BOTH YELL BOTH GRUNT ROARING DO NOT WORRY. I WILL PROTECT YOU. (GASPS) WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? HIT IT IN THE HEAD WITH A GUITAR? PLEASE, STOP BRINGING UP THE GUITAR. ROPE SWISHES (WHIMPERS) (YELPS, WHIMPERS) (YELLS) CATCH ME! (GRUNTS, PANTS) GROWLING HURRY! TREES THUD HIDE! GROWLING DON'T LOOK AT IT! PANTING (HYPERVENTILATES) SHH! HUMPTY! BE QUIET! I'M HYPERVENTILATING! MUFFLED: I SAID I COULDN'T BREATHE, AND THEN YOU ZIPPED THE THING OVER MY MOUTH! EH, EH, EH, YOU GOTTA GET IT TOGETHER. COME ON! OK. BIRD CALLS GRUNTING (SIGHS) LEAVES RUSTLE ALL GASP MAGICAL MUSIC LOOK AT THIS. IT'S EGG PARADISE. (GASPS) IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, I FEEL LIKE I BELONG HERE. (LAUGHS) (CHEERS) THUD! OH! (GROANS) GOLDEN EGGS. OH! GRAB AS MANY AS YOU CAN. (GRUNTS) I THOUGHT THEY WERE GOING TO BE LIKE CHICKEN SIZE. (GROANS) THUD! CAN YOU IMAGINE LAYING ONE OF THESE? OUCH! PUSS! (GROANS) OW! PUSS! (GROANS) OW! (GRUNTS) HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET THESE OUT OF HERE? I DON'T KNOW. SHH! FROGS CROAK (GASPS) CHIRPING OH MY! (CHIRPS) (CHIRPS) THE GOLDEN GOOSE. JUST LOOK AT HER. ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL? (SQUAWKS) (CHIRPS) (CHIRPS, TRILLS) OH! (CHIRPS) OH! OH, MY SWEET DARLING. (LAUGHS) I THINK SHE LIKES YOU. ROARING LET'S JUST TAKE HER. WAIT A MINUTE. THIS IS THE GOOSE OF LEGEND. WE DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF WE TAKE HER. ROARING I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS IF WE DON'T TAKE HER ` WE GOT NOTHING. GUYS, GUYS. IT'S A GOLD POOPER. WE'RE TAKING IT! (SQUAWKS) THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS DRAMATIC LATIN MUSIC ALMOST THERE! YELPING HANG ON! ALL YELL WHOA! ARGH! WHOA! ALL YELL THUDDING OW! (EXCLAIMS) WHOA! BOTH GROAN GROWLING THUNDERING FOOTSTEPS IT'S COMING! RUN! DRAMATIC MUSIC (SCREAMS) (GASPS) (YELLS, GRUNTS) KITTY! (PANTS) (TWEETS) WHAT ARE YOU DOING? (YELLS) ETHEREAL MUSIC (YELLS) DRAMATIC MUSIC (SPLUTTERS) OH! BOTH PANT (GASPS) WHOA, HANG ON! BOTH YELL COME HERE, YOU. ROARING GOT YOU! SHE'S MINE NOW! ALL SCREAM, CREATURE ROARS ALL YELL HELLO! OH! (YELLS) (YELLS) NO! FLY, LITTLE GOSLING, FLY! (CHIRPS) (YELLS) NO! NO, IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE THIS WAY! (SCREAMS) PUSS? (SCREAMS) PUSS? NO. (SIGHS) (WHISTLES, LAUGHS) (YELLS) UH, I'M SORRY. (CHUCKLES) HM. UH, I'M SORRY. (CHUCKLES) HM. (YELLS) MAGICAL MUSIC ALL LAUGH EMOTIVE MUSIC THANKS, GINGER. UM, WE SHOULD MAYBE CUT THAT DOWN. BOARS SQUEAL, GRUNT LOOK AT THAT. YOU FINALLY GOT THAT FAMILY YOU WANTED, JACK. (OINKS) DID YOU HEAR THAT? (OINKS) I THINK HE JUST CALLED ME DADDY. OH, HE LOOKS JUST LIKE YOU, JACK. THANK YOU. (OINKS) THANK YOU. (OINKS) (GASPS) BOARS GRUNT, SQUEAL WELL, WHAT IS IT? BOARS SQUEAL RUMBLING (GASPS) DRAMATIC MUSIC BOARS SQUEAL I DO BELIEVE THAT'S OUR CUE. BOARS SQUEAL HA! PUSS AND HUMPTY: TO PAYING BACK SAN RICARDO! TO BEING RICH! OLE! FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS FLAMES ROAR (LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) HA! (LAUGHS) YOU. ME? YEAH, YEAH, BABY! (GRUNTS) ONE, TWO, CHA-CHA-CHA! THREE, FOUR, CHA-CHA-CHA! ONE, TWO... (CHIRPS) WHAT?! (CHUCKLES) THERE IS ONE WORD FOR YOU, KITTY SOFTPAWS ` ME-WOW! I KNOW YOU HAVE QUITE A REPUTATION WITH THE LADIES, MR FRISKY TWO-TIMES. I'VE ALSO BEEN KNOWN AS THE... FURRY LOVER! (GRUNTS) BUT THAT WAS BEFORE I MET YOU. OH, YOU DON'T KNOW ME, PUSS. I'M NOT WHO YOU THINK I AM. I'M ALL ABOUT THE SCORE. COME ON. LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME ALL YOU CARE ABOUT IS THE GOLD. PUSS... KITTY... (TWEETS) OH MY GOD! BOTH HISS (LAUGHS) NEW PARTNERS! DO NOT FALL FOR HIS ANIMAL MAGNETISM. YOU STAY FOCUSED. (GASPS) WHAT?! (LAUGHS) FLAMENCO MUSIC PLAYS ALL RIGHT. (CLEARS THROAT) SO,... I HAVE BEEN THINKING, MISS SOFTPAWS, THAT WHEN WE GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS, WE CAN GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS... TOGETHER. (SIGHS) PUSS, YOU HAVE TO GO NOW. YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUSH ME AWAY ANY MORE. YOU CAN TRUST ME. BUT` GIVE IT UP FOR THE LEGENDS OF SAN RICARDO, HUMPTY AND PUSS! WE DID IT! BOTH LAUGH I'M CALLING IT A NIGHT, GUYS. KITTY! STAY UP WITH US. NO, I FEEL A... (COUGHS) HAIRBALL COMING ON. OK, YEAH. HAVE FUN WITH THAT! WE SHOULD, UH, GIVE HER SOME PRIVACY. (CHUCKLES) I NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD GET TO HERE. AFTER ALL WE WENT THROUGH, TO PULL THIS OFF TOGETHER... IT IS GOOD TO HAVE MY BROTHER BACK. YEP. SURE IS. (YAWNS) WELL, WE HAVE A BIG DAY TOMORROW. (GROANS) PRETTY EXCITING STUFF. WE SHOULD GET SOME REST. GOOD NIGHT, HUMPTY. (TRILLS, CHIRPS) OMINOUS MUSIC CANASTA! (OINKS) THUD! BIRDS CAW OMINOUS WESTERN MUSIC OMINOUS WESTERN MUSIC (GROANS) BIRD CAWS BIRDS CAW (SCREAMS) I AM STILL ALIVE! BIRDS CAW (PANTS) JACK AND JILL. KITTY? HUMPTY? DRAMATIC MUSIC I WILL FIND YOU. (CAWS) GET OUT OF HERE! (CAWS) DRAMATIC MUSIC (WHINNIES) EXCITING LATIN MUSIC (WHINNIES) MOMENTOUS MUSIC (NEIGHS) OMINOUS MUSIC (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) HUH? (GRUNTS) BE GONE! HUMPTY: WHAT DO YOU WANT? GOLD? I HAVE GOLD! JILL: JACK, EGG'S TRYING TO BRIBE US. JACK: (SCOFFS) WITH OUR OWN GOLD. COME ON NOW, ALL WE WANT IS A LITTLE BREAKFAST. NO, NO, PLEASE! HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS, PUMPKIN? OW! HUMPTY, NO! (SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) (SIGHS) HELLO, PUSS. ALL: SURPRISE! ALL LAUGH WHAT IS GOING ON? IT'S A SURPRISE PARTY, AND THE SURPRISE IS ON YOU. LOOKS LIKE THE CAT'S OUT OF THE BAG. ALL LAUGH YOU WERE IN CAHOOTS?! OH YEAH! THEY ALL WORK FOR ME. ALL LAUGH I SPENT A LOT OF TIME IN, UH, PRISON PREPARING FOR THIS. YOU SET ME UP. OH YEAH, I SET YOU UP. OF COURSE. YOU THINK THIS WAS ALL ABOUT GETTING THE GOLD AND CLEARING YOUR NAME? THIS LITTLE ADVENTURE WAS ABOUT ONE THING ` REVENGE. YOU NEVER KNEW IT, PUSS, BUT I WAS ALWAYS THERE. (ECHOES) DRAMATIC LATIN MUSIC SINISTER MUSIC SINISTER MUSIC CONTINUES BIRDS CAW YOU WANTED TO REPAY AN OLD DEBT, PUSS? WELL, SO DID I. WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS? YOU LEFT ME ON THAT BRIDGE! YOU ABANDONED ME WHEN I NEEDED YOU THE MOST. WHAT HAPPENED TO 'BROTHERS FOREVER'?! I TRUSTED YOU! WELL, NOW YOU'RE FINALLY GONNA KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE, YOU KNOW, TO TRUST SOMEONE AND HAVE THEM STAB YOU IN THE BACK. GUARDS! PUSS IN BOOTS, YOU'RE UNDER ARREST FOR THE ROBBERY OF THE SAN RICARDO BANK! CONSIDER THIS THE FINAL MEETING OF BEAN CLUB. I SHOULD SCRAMBLE YOU WITH ONIONS! (SCREAMS) YOU SHOULD NEVER HAVE COME BACK. (GRUNTS, GROWLS) PEQUENO! WAIT. DO NOT FIGHT THEM, PLEASE. MAMA! LISTEN TO ME. I CAN EXPLAIN. NO. PUSS, NO MORE RUNNING. PLEASE STOP BREAKING MY HEART AND FACE WHAT YOU HAVE DONE. EMOTIONAL MUSIC I'M SORRY, MAMA. I LET YOU DOWN. PAWS WHERE WE CAN SEE THEM! TURN AROUND ` SLOW. SLOWER! FOOTSTEPS THUD! STEP INTO THE CARRIER, QUIET-LIKE. TENSE MUSIC ATTENTION! ATTENTION, EVERYONE! IF YOU COULD JUST COME IN A LITTLE CLOSER. LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, I PRESENT TO YOU... THE GOLDEN GOOSE OF LEGEND! PEOPLE GASP (CHIRPS) KITTY. NOT YOU TOO? EMOTIONAL MUSIC HORSE SNORTS (LAUGHS) GOLD FOR EVERYONE! BOO! BOO! BOO! (LAUGHS) (SQUAWKS) WE GOT SOME FRESH, HOT GOLD HERE, PEOPLE! STEP RIGHT UP! GET IT HOT! PEOPLE CHANT: HUEVOS! HUEVOS! HUEVOS! ONE HAT. ONE BELT. AND TWO BOOTS ` ONCE A SYMBOL OF HONOUR. ONE BOTTLE OF CATNIP? UH, IT IS FOR MY GLAUCOMA. DOOR CLANGS UH, IT IS FOR MY GLAUCOMA. DOOR CLANGS THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, OUTLAW. AND THIS IS WHERE YOU WILL STAY... FOREVER. FOOTSTEPS RECEDE (SIGHS) WHOO-HOO! (YELPS) NO, NO. DON'T STOP ON MY ACCOUNT. WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE THE EGG GOT WHAT HE WANTED. YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT HUMPTY? (STAMMERS) DON'T SAY HIS NAME! I USED TO SHARE THIS CELL WITH THAT SMELLY THING. HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE WAS WHEN HE LEFT. TILL I REALIZED HE STOLE MY MAGIC BEANS. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! YOU HAD THE BEANS? WHO ARE YOU? (SNORES) HEY! WHAT'S YOUR NAME? (YELPS) ANDY BEANSTALK! MY FRIENDS CALL ME JACK. I TRADED THE FAMILY COW FOR THEM BEANS. 'COURSE THEN IT WASN'T MY FAMILY'S COW. IT WAS SOME OTHER FAMILY'S FAMILY COW. THAT'S WHY I GOT EIGHT TO 10. ALWAYS KNOW WHICH COW IS YOURS. (SNORES) CRAZY MAN. WAKE UP! (YELPS) WHAT ELSE DO YOU KNOW? WE'RE ALL GONERS, THANKS TO THAT LITTLE STINKY! I TOLD HIM. I TOLD HIM NOT TO TAKE THE GOOSE, BUT ALL HE WANTED WAS HIS REVENGE! DON'T TAKE THE GOOSE. WHY? (SNORES) (SIGHS) (SLAPS) ARGH! THE GREAT TERROR! THAT'S THE GOLDEN GOOSE'S MAMA. OH NO. AND SHE WILL BE OUT FOR BLOOD WHEN SHE COMES BACK FOR HER BABY. (GASPS) GUARD! SAN RICARDO IS IN TERRIBLE DANGER! YOU MUST LISTEN TO ME! QUIET, YOU! DRAMATIC MUSIC MEOWING MEOWING, GROWLING (GROANS) SHUT UP. (STAMPS FOOT) MEOWING (GROANS) SHH! (MEOWS) GENTLE MUSIC (GASPS) (PURRS) OPEN THE DOOR. DROP THE WEAPON. VERY GOOD. STEP ASIDE. NO. DIABLO GATO! (YELLS) NICE TRY. (LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) (GASPS) I HOPE YOU CAN FORGIVE ME. APOLOGY ACCEPTED! I DON'T REALLY HAVE TIME FOR YOU. I HAVE TO SAVE THE TOWN FROM THE GREAT TERROR! WAIT, PUSS! DON'T YOU SEE? I'M HERE BECAUSE... I AM HERE BECAUSE YOU MADE ME REALIZE THAT THERE IS SOMETHING I CARE ABOUT MORE THAN GOLD. SOMETHING? OK. SOMEONE. HE'S ABOUT 2FT TALL, WEARS HIGH HEELS. HANDSOME? HE'S VERY HANDSOME. A REAL BEEFCAKE? MM-HM. A STALLION? YES. TIGER? OH BROTHER. (CHUCKLES) BUT DOES NOT MAKE US EVEN. FREEZE! YES, IT DOES. NO, NO, NO, IT DOESN'T. (WHIMPERS) BOTH GROWL, HISS (SCREAMS) I SAVED YOU! GUARDS GRUNT YOU OWED ME ONE. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME ABOUT HUMPTY. GUARDS GRUNT SO NOW YOU OWE ME TWO. RUMBLING ANGRY CHATTER OH, YOU'RE A LOT OF WORK. I KNOW. BUT I AM WORTH IT! (GRUNTS) YOU ARE NOT GETTING AWAY, PUSS IN BOOTS! WRONG BOOTS. KITTY! NOW WE'RE EVEN! (HISSES) COME ON! TRIUMPHANT MUSIC THIS IS YOUR SAN RICARDO WEATHER REPORT. CHANCES OF A GIANT GOOSE DESTROYING THE TOWN ` 100%. PUSS: NEVER ALONE, ALWAYS TOGETHER. HUMPTY AND PUSS,... PUSS: NEVER ALONE, ALWAYS TOGETHER. HUMPTY AND PUSS,... BOTH: ...BROTHERS FOREVER. (SIGHS) (CHIRPS, MUNCHES) COME ON, SWEETIE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE MAMA SHOWS UP. BLADE SWISHES I SHOULD MAKE YOU INTO AN EGG SALAD SANDWICH! (GASPS) THAT IS DISGUSTING! GIVE ME THE GOOSE, HUMPTY. NO CAN DO, I'M AFRAID. SEE, THE MAMA'S ON HER WAY, AND WHEN SHE GETS HERE, IT'S BYE-BYE SAN RICARDO AND EVERYTHING YOU EVER CARED ABOUT! (SCOFFS) REVENGE ON ME IS ONE THING, BUT WHY IMELDA? WHY THE ORPHANAGE? THIS IS OUR HOME. YOU MEAN YOUR HOME. (SIGHS) I` I NEVER BELONGED HERE. WE HAD A PLAN TO GET OUT OF HERE, BUT THEN YOU BECAME A HERO, AND YOU PICKED THIS PLACE OVER ME. (SIGHS) YOU LEFT ME WITH NOTHING. POIGNANT MUSIC HUMPTY, I'M SORRY I HURT YOU. BUT DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON THESE PEOPLE. YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS! NO, I'M NOT. OH, COME ON! I KNOW THE REAL HUMPTY. THE WAY YOU SAW THE WORLD! THE INVENTOR! THE DREAMER! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT GUY? GROWLING WINGS FLAP I... I THINK IT'S TOO LATE. IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO DO THE RIGHT THING. TOGETHER WE CAN SAVE SAN RICARDO! ROARING I CAN FORGIVE YOU, HUMPTY, IF YOU HELP ME NOW. REALLY? AFTER EVERYTHING I PUT YOU THROUGH? PROVE TO ME THERE IS STILL A GOOD EGG IN YOU. MOMENTOUS MUSIC I'LL TRY. HONKING PEOPLE GASP RUMBLING (GASPS) (BELLOWS) CHICKENS SQUAWK (HONKS) (HONKS) PEOPLE GASP, MURMUR (HONKS) BIRD CRIES (HONKS) (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) (HONKS) (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) (HISSES, HONKS) PEOPLE SCREAM (HONKS) (ROARS) GOGGLES, CHECK. GET THE BABY OVER THE BRIDGE. I'LL GET THE MOTHER TO FOLLOW. OK. GIVE ME A... PUSS! (GASPS) (ROARS) (LAUGHS) (ROARS) RUBBER DUCK SQUEAKS (GROWLS) (GROWLS) (GASPS) RUBBER DUCK SQUEAKS (YELLS) (HONKS) MAMA GOOSE! DRAMATIC MUSIC WAIT! HUH? JUST FOLLOW ME, AND I WILL LEAD YOU TO YOUR BABY. (HONKS) (HONKS) NO! NOT THAT WAY! PEQUENO, HELP! HANG ON! (GRUNTS) EXCITING LATIN MUSIC OH! WHOO! (LAUGHS) THAT'S MY BOY! CHILDREN CHEER HA! (HONKS) (GRUNTS) COME WITH ME, MAMA GOOSE. I KNOW WHERE YOUR BABY IS. HERE. (GRUNTS) LOOK! BABY GOOSE CHIRPS (HONKS) (CHIRPS) (SQUAWKS) HA-HA! HUMPTY YELLS HUMPTY, PICK UP THE PACE! I'M TRYING, PUSS! I'M TRYING! (CHIRPS) (SCREAMS) SORRY, EGGHEAD, WE WANT MORE THAN JUST EGGS. SO HOW ABOUT YOU GIVE US THAT GOOSE? HUMPTY! MEOWING, HISSING HUH? GET HER OFF! (FIRES GUN) NICE MOVES. WHAT WOULD YOU DO WITHOUT ME? (BLOWS KISS) HA! (HONKS) (GROANS) (YELPS) FREEZE! COMANDANTE! UH, I CAN EXPLAIN. GATO, YOU ARE GOING BACK TO JAIL IF IT'S THE LAST THING I DO! HUMPTY, HURRY! WE'RE ALMOST THERE. WE'RE ALMOST THERE! YELLING (HONKS) YELLING (YELLS) (GASPS) (HONKS) (YELLS) PUSS, HELP! HUMPTY, HANG ON! PUSS! (CHIRPS) (GRUNTS) (SCOFFS) HERE WE ARE AGAIN, RIGHT, PUSS? GOOSE HONKS (GRUNTS) I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU BEHIND THIS TIME, HUMPTY. (HONKS) (CHIRPS) (CHIRPS) OH. I'M SORRY, PUSS. I'VE MADE A MESS OUT OF EVERYTHING. (GRUNTS) I'M A ROTTEN EGG. I'M NOT A PERSON. I'M NOT A BIRD. I'M NOT EVEN A FOOD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM. GOOSE HONKS YOU ARE WHAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ` MY BROTHER. (GRUNTS) BROTHERS FOREVER. BOTH GRUNT (HONKS) (SCREAMS) (HONKS) YOU CAN'T SAVE US BOTH. YES, I CAN! JUST HANG ON! (GRUNTS) PUSS, YOU HAVE TO SAVE THE BABY, OR THE MAMA WILL DESTROY SAN RICARDO. (GRUNTS) IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO. POIGNANT MUSIC RUMBLING, HONKING I WILL NOT LET YOU GO, HUMPTY. I KNOW YOU WON'T. SO I WON'T MAKE YOU CHOOSE. HUMPTY! (ROARS) (CHIRPS) OH! (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (CHIRPS) (HONKS) CHIRPING, HONKING (SIGHS) I'M VERY SORRY. SHE'S OK. POIGNANT MUSIC HUMPTY? (SIGHS) (HONKS) (CHIRPS) (SIGHS) I ALWAYS KNEW THAT YOU WERE GOOD INSIDE. (CHIRPS) (HONKS) WISTFUL MUSIC GOODBYE, HUMPTY. MUSIC SWELLS CHILDREN CHATTER EXCITEDLY PEOPLE CHATTER IT'S HIM. PUSS IN BOOTS. HE SAVED US FROM THE GIANT GOOSE! HIS SWORD IS LIKE LIGHTNING! MAN: THEY SAY HE HAS 10 LIVES. HIS BOOTS ARE MADE OF THE FINEST CORINTHIAN LEATHER. HE ONLY DRINKS WHOLE MILK. GOOD LECHE. HE'S NO OUTLAW. HE SAVED US! UH, MEOW? A GIFT FOR YOU, MAMA. I HAVE TO GO. THE SOLDIERS ARE COMING FOR ME. I AM SO PROUD OF YOU, MY SON. (PURRS) TODAY, YOU FACED THE PAST WITH BRAVERY AND HONOUR. YOU EARNED THOSE BOOTS. AND THE PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE SAN RICARDO'S GREATEST HERO. I DID IT FOR YOU, MAMA. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE IN MY HEART. AND YOU IN MINE. OMINOUS MUSIC GATO! THERE HE IS! I SEE HIM! CHILDREN CHEER CROWD CHEER MAJESTIC LATIN MUSIC LADY GAGA'S 'AMERICANO' # LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. (CHUCKLES) # LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. # AHHHH. # AMERICA. # AMERICANO. (GRUNTS) (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) # AMERICANO. # IF YOU LOVE ME... I WILL SEE YOU AGAIN, KITTY SOFTPAWS! (SCOFFS) SOONER THAN YOU THINK. (GASPS) (GROANS) (CHUCKLES) SHE IS A BAD KITTY. # I DON'T SPEAK YOUR LANGUAGE, OH NO. # LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. # THIS IS THE STORY OF A CAT WHO BECAME A HERO, AN OUTLAW DEDICATED TO JUSTICE AND A LOVER OF BEAUTIFUL WOMEN. A GREAT, GREAT LOVER. REALLY. (CHUCKLES) IT IS CRAZY. I AM PUSS IN BOOTS! AND MY NAME WOULD BECOME LEGEND! (NEIGHS) AND MY NAME WOULD BECOME LEGEND! (NEIGHS) HA! LADY GAGA'S 'AMERICANO' # AHHHHH. # AMERICA. # AMERICANO. (EXCLAIMS, LAUGHS) # AHHHHH. # AMERICA. # AMERICANO. CAT SIGHS DREAMILY (MEOWS) (CHUCKLES) (SIGHS DREAMILY) (GRUNTS) # HOW I LOVE YOU... WHOO! HA! CATS MEOW SEDUCTIVELY: MEOW. # LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA. (LAUGHS) (CHIRPS) (LAUGHS) (HONKS) (CHEERS) # DON'T YOU TRY TO CATCH ME. DON'T YOU TRY TO CATCH ME. # NO, NO, NO, NO. # I'M LIVING ON THE EDGE OF, LIVING ON THE EDGE OF THE LAW, LAW, LAW, LAW. (GROWLS) (HISSES) # DON'T YOU TRY TO CATCH ME. DON'T YOU TRY TO GET ME. # NO, NO, NO, NO. # DON'T YOU, DON'T YOU TRY TO CATCH ME. # I'M LIVING ON THE EDGE OF THE LAW, LAW, LAW, LAW. # FIREWORK CRACKLES OH!