. (CHEERFUL, SWINGING MUSIC) BROOK BENTON: # Well, now, it takes more than a robin # to make the winter go. # And it takes two lips of fire # to melt away the snow. DINAH WASHINGTON: # Well, it takes two hearts a-cookin' # to make a fire grow. # And, baby, you've got what it takes. BROOK: # Oh, yeah. DINAH: # You know, it takes a lot of kissin' BROOK: # Tell me about it. DINAH: # ...to make a romance sweet. # Ooh, it takes a lot of lovin' # to make my life complete. BROOK: # Mm, and it takes a lot of woman # to knock me off my feet. # And, baby, you've got what it takes. DINAH: # I said, mm, mm-mm. # Uh-huh, mm. BROOK: # You know, you've got just what it takes. # Because it takes, oh, yeah. DINAH: # In my spot again, honey. BROOK: # I like your spot. DINAH: # To stay away from you. BROOK: # I can't stay away from her. DINAH: # It takes more than a lifetime, Daddy, # to prove that I'll be true. # NOW it's you. BROOK: # But it takes somebody special DINAH: # Like me, baby. BROOK: # ...to make me say 'I do'. DINAH: # And, baby, you've got what it takes. BOTH: # Uh-huh, mm... # WOMAN: I am an attorney, and this isn't how I usually like to argue cases. MAN: You're getting on my nerves now. This building has been here for 75 years, and it deserves to remain for the community because it represents the ideals of that time. The community deserves to have this as a landmark... Ow. And we're removing it from our children's children. You are becoming a problem. You go back here. This is a community theatre. Everyone should benefit from this building being here. Last warning - I won't tell you again. We got a permit to take down this building. I have a permit allowing me to gather in a public place to express my constitutionally protected right of free speech. Want to get killed, lady? Get out of the way! Sir, according to city code... Forget about your code! Forget all that stuff. ..subsection 2.5, if a Landmarks... ..when a Landmarks Committee's decision... Come on! Out of the way! Lady, you're in violation. Have you ever read the Constitution? Take it up, Charlie. Watch this constitution. ( CRANE BEEPS ) (Yells) Yeah, you're clear. Go ahead. OK, you guys, this is just a scare tactic, that's all. Yeah, well, it's sort of working. Mer! They do productions for the 'Y' here, productions with little people - 'The Nutcracker' and 'Hair'. We have to lie down and protest. Take out your mats. Here, I've got your protective eye gear and your sunblock and your wet naps. Everybody, lie down and protest. You better get out of the way. We will prevail. You will go to jail. Tom! Lock arms. I'm not feeling great about this. Have a little faith, please. Meryl, would you marry me? Really? Oh, my God! (Laughs) Yes! Got to stop, Charlie. ( BEEPING STOPS ) I love you. Hey, you guys, they stopped! Ha! You're good luck! There is justice in the world. We've prevailed! Lunatic! ( SIREN WAILS ) Crazy lady. (Both laugh) Should call our parents. Yes! Hey, here are your wet naps. Oh, thanks. Thanks. We had a good time. I'm glad. 'Bye. 'Bye. Thanks. I'll pay you back this time, guys. I promise. No. What are parents for, if not to bail their daughter and her friends out of jail? So, did they knock it down? (Sighs) I'm not getting through to people. Why don't people respond to me? Honey, Wade Corporation is not people, it's a heartless profit machine, and it's getting worse all the time. It says they're bidding on the Surf Avenue lot. They want to put up condos and tear down the community centre. Wait a minute. Our community centre? MY community centre? Come on, honey. Let's discuss it over dinner. No, Dad, you know what, I'm just tired. I think I'll just go home. (Sighs) ( ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS ) MAN ON TAPE: Hi, honey, it's Ansell. I'm sorry, but I won't make it back for your birthday. Lots of new trainees on board and they put the 'Green' in Greenpeace. But I'm saving whales and thinking of you. Love you. Yeah, hi. Hi, Mr Wong. Lucy Kelson. Fine. I would like, um, a number 17, a number fou...number five. No. Number 7? 7. And then a number... Can I get the number 4 without the garlic sauce? OK, and then maybe two orders of number...number 26, and, uh... Yes, that's for one. And that's it. No - a number... give me a number 8. Give me two number 8s. OK. OK. OK. 'Bye. ( REFLECTIVE GUITAR MUSIC ) ( APPLAUSE ) GEORGE WADE: When they told me I'd been chosen the Medical Centre's Man of the Year, I assumed it had something to do with the millions we've contributed to the new paediatric wing, but as it turns out, I had my appendix removed earlier this year and under anaesthesia I apparently proposed marriage to every nurse in the hospital... (All laugh) ..including the many attractive male nurses. (All laugh) Why are paediatrics so important to Wade? Well, I think feet are very important. No, I'm just teasing. I know there's much more to paediatrics than feet. Thank you very much. Thank YOU so much. Always nice to see you. Thanks. George! Congratulations. Hey, Terry, how are you? Still slicing people up? Indeed I am. I bet you are. Hi there. Oh, yes, the Emil family. (Both laugh) Good. Ah. Nice to see you. Take care. Melanie Corman, hospital administration. Aha! My friend Elaine Cominsky wants to meet you but she's shy. Is that OK? Yes, that's fine. I've been too nervous to meet Elaine myself. Oh, good. Don't move. Great tie, by the way. Thanks. I was nervous about it. Hey. Hey. Your brother wants to see you. What, now? Tonight? Yeah. That's what he said. Although, sometimes it's hard to tell with the accent. This is Elaine. Oh, hello. Hi. (Giggles) Would you sign my 'GQ'? (Laughs) Oh, 'GQ'! I see what you mean. Sorry. Thought it was a medical term. Had me all excited. (Laughs) Oh! "To Elaine, George Wade." Oh, thank you. Sorry, hang on just one second. Listen, there's no way. I'm not running to Westchester just 'cause he calls. That's absurd. He'll just have to wait. Right on. Hey, man, forget him. Yeah. Should I get the car? Yes, get the car. ( SCATTY JAZZ MUSIC ) ( DOORBELL RINGS ) Good evening, Mr George. Good evening, Rosario. Excellent new hairdo. (Laughs) Mr George. No, I'm serious. You look like a young Imelda Marcos. (Chuckles) Hello, George. Hello, Helen. Don't you think Rosario looks particularly lovely tonight? I hadn't really noticed. Rosario, the children need baths. Please. Yes, Miss Helen. So, how are the kids - apart from dirty, obviously? They're fine. Can I get you anything? I'd love some Milk Duds. We don't have any. I could send out for one. Oh, no, don't be ridiculous. If you're going to send out, get a whole box. Howard's in the gym. Right. 45 minutes, 6.5 miles an hour. I'm in elevation three. ( MACHINE BEEPS AND STOPS ) (Pants) It's incredible how much more relaxed I feel. Helen does an hour a day too. Yes, you both seem extremely relaxed. You can cut the relaxation with a knife. So, why am I here, Howie? ( MACHINE GRINDS AND WHIRRS ) We lost the West Side waterfront deal because your chief counsel, your latest model-slash-attorney, forgot to file an environmental impact report. I will admit that the law is not Amber's strong point. That's why I fired her. No, I fired her, just as I fired Debbie from St Barts Law School and Stacey from Online Law School. I want someone from Yale or Columbia or from the continental United States. Women of that level of intellectual ability often find me shallow. Then hire a man. Oh, don't be absurd. Because they wouldn't sleep with you? No, because it would make you and Dad too happy. Dad's been dead for 10 years. Well, there's no reason for him to start enjoying himself now. ( SHOWER RUNS ) HOWARD: You need someone who can write a brief instead of removing yours. And she can handle your divorce while she's at it. You are still getting divorced? Unless my ex-wife decides to fall in love with me again - or for the first time - yes. ( TOILET FLUSHES ) NO! Why do you always find that so funny? Very hard to say. Hire a real attorney by tomorrow. Don't! ( BLUESY PIANO MUSIC AND RHYTHMIC CLAPPING ) Hello, have a good day. Thank you, ma'am. So, you're Russian, you said? 100%. Hence blond hair, blue eyes. Yeah. Cheekbones. (Giggles) Sorry to have kept you so long. No, it's OK. But I feel I know everything about you. And I you. Usually, I'm nervous at interviews, but that was fun. Yes. Isn't fun fun? It's been a pleasure, Tiffany. Uh, Mr Wade. Mr Wade. Mr Wade, hi. I'm Lucy Kelson. I'm an attorney. Have you ever heard of St Tropez Law School? Um, no. Shame. Uh, Mr Wade... Where'd you study law? Harvard. Harvard? Yes. Intriguing. Tell me more. Uh, what's your background? I don't see the relevance, but I worked for the Coalition for the Homeless, Legal Defence Fund, now at Legal Aid... That can't pay much. I'm not interested in money. (Laughs) Oh, wait a minute. You're Kelson! You're the attorney who lies in front of our wrecking balls. You attacked the Zegman brothers outside their offices. Wasn't my fault they walked under a waving protest sign. You're not here for a job? I'm here representing the Coney Island community centre. It was built in 1922, it's the heart of Coney Island, it has adult education, basketball, CPR, Lamaze, water ballet... (Laughs) ..seniors tae kwon do. It's great, it's...it's... For children, it's a home from home. I practically grew up there. Look, it's lovely, but Trump has the inside track. Very nice to meet you. No, you don't understand. See, I live there as well as my parents and they know Assemblyman Perez who's on the community board, and if you can guarantee the preservation of this centre I can guarantee you the build. Well, why us? Why Wade? Well, I...I can't get in to see Trump and the, um, Zegman brothers have a restraining order. Mr W! Mr W, you've got an interview in half an hour and 'Public Policy' magazine needs a quote on challenges of urban planning for the feature on you. Uh, right, yes. Uh, quote, quote, quote, quote, quote. Uh, what I love about architecture is its ability to shape a community. Well, exactly - this community centre has shaped a community. It turned strangers into neighbours - a beautiful place. Its ability to change strangers into neighbours. Uh, how the right design for a park makes people feel secure, how a school building can be functional and beautiful so that kids feel, uh... No, see, the community centre makes children feel engaged. It allows them a place to just... Functional and beautiful so that kids feel engaged instead of...imprisoned? Yeah, sounds good. I like that. But I said, uh, community centre, not school. I know, it's all very good. Jump in. Thanks. Nice shirt. Thank you. Thank you. (Clears throat) So, do we have a...a deal, a...? No, I want something else from you. (Laughs) Oh, no. I...I am fully aware of your reputation and there's no way you're getting that, no. Getting what? You know. Sex. That's not going to happen. No, that would be nice, but what I really need is a new chief counsel. Well, I...I think I'd prefer the sex. OK, if you take the job, I promise to save your community centre. On top of which, you can direct all our pro bono efforts. That's millions of dollars at your charitable disposal. But... ..you couldn't possibly want me. I've spent my entire life working against people like you. Well, maybe if you work for me, you'll win occasionally. I...I...I don't... I need an answer, I'm afraid, pretty much immediately, so here's my direct number at the Grand Hotel. You live at a hotel? Well, I own it and live there. My life is like Monopoly. And, uh, I know you wouldn't care, but I'll start you at $250,000. Uh... There's also usually a very nice Christmas bonus. (Clears throat) Thank you. ( LAIDBACK GROOVE ) (Counting Crows sing) # They paved paradise # And put up a parking lot # With a pink hotel, a boutique and a swingin' hot spot... # Hi, Luce. Hey, Rocco. # Don't it always seem to go # That you don't know what you got till it's gone # They paved paradise and put up a parking lot (Vanessa Carlton sings) # Ooh, bop bop bop # Ooh, bop bop bop # Hey, farmer, farmer, put away your DDT # I don't care about spots on my apples # Leave me the birds and the bees # Please # Don't it always seem to go # That you don't know what you got till it's gone # They paved paradise and put up a parking lot # Hey now, they paved paradise and put up a parking lot # Ooh, bop bop bop # Whoa, now # Ooh, bop bop bop... # (Sighs) I can't believe how much I ate. Proud of you, honey. The whole left side of the menu. Mmm, when I get tense, I just start to eat. Honey, you cannot work for that man. Hey, we can use the bail money. Remember what Sun Tzu said? Yes. BOTH: "Keep your friends close and your enemies closer." Sun Tzu didn't have a daughter. Hmm. What's this? Oh! Dessert. Thank you. You guys, it's the only way to save the community centre. It is. And if I work for him, I have huge resources at my disposal for charities and shelters and... Yes, but... Mom, I promise I'll still be your daughter, I'll still be a lawyer and I'll still have all the same ideals. Let's generally go through the files, make sure they're updated, especially the new codes, 'cause I'll be needing those pretty soon, OK? I'm going to speak with Mr Wade. Um, Mr Wade, so sorry to bother. Um, I've been going over the environmental impact reports for Island Towers and whenever you have time, I'd love to talk. Oh, you know what I really wanted to ask? Which one of these do you prefer? Uh, how do you mean? My new personalised stationery. Oh, uh, well, is this a trick question? 'Cause they look exactly the same to me. Not at all, no. This is a linen finish and this is a watermarked vellum finish. Mmm, OK, well, leaving aside the fact that they've taken perfectly good forests and denuded them in order to produce this non-recyclable paper, um, I would say it was... (Sighs) Um... Oh, this one. Tastes better. Do you know, I've asked 30 people that question, you're the only one to come up with that answer? Hmm. My God, you're good. I'm getting you a bigger office. Uh, no, no, that's really sweet, but I would rather go over... ( 'MAGIC MOMENTS' BY PERRY COMO PLAYS ) Very firm. But is it TOO firm? You know, there's some debate among chiropractors about the optimum level of mattress tension. What are your thoughts? If you really want to know, the more firm the mattress, the more pressure on the fourth and fifth spinal vertebrae, leading to disc herniation and subluxation. Hmm. Quite bouncy, though. Have a bounce. No. (Snores) ( PHONE RINGS ) Hello? Ah, yes, I'm glad you're up. I didn't want to wake you. Just felt like a chat. George, it is... it is 2:15 in the morning. Can't you just talk to whatever Mensa candidate you're with? I very much resent the implication that just 'cause someone may not share your high IQ, they're not a person of substance and depth. (Chokes) Whoa! You alright? I swallowed my Altoid. Oh, she swallowed her Altoid. That can happen. A sudden hair flick. Very dangerous. OK, George. I am tired. Put her on the phone. What? You mean put her on the phone? Put her on the phone. Alright. Um, someone for you. Hi. Hi. (Clears throat) The man you're dancing with is deeply troubled, OK? Even though he's rich and very attractive, you are much too young to be trading yourself like a stock on the NASDAQ for someone who won't remember your name or his in the morning, is still married and has recently had a very suspicious rash. It is 2:16. Go home, finish high school and reach your potential. You alright? I think I'm going to go. Hi. What did you say to her? Nice chat? Yes, she seemed very special. OK, I've got to get up early in the morning for a divorce case, so I have to go. Ah, yes. Now THAT we have to talk about. Now, do you think I should cry? I was thinking perhaps little machine-gun bursts of sobs. (Sobs weakly) But more hysteria, more of a whimper than a sob. You're pathetic. Goodnight. q I'm sure he'll be here any minute. Is there any more Diet Coke? Sorry, everybody. Did I, uh, miss the blessed event? Hmm. Check with me before you talk. Now we're all here, let's discuss terms of settlement. Terms were already set, Buzz. We call it a pre-nup. Lucy, we've done this enough to know that pre-nups don't preclude recompensatory amendments. In plain English, Buzz - although I can follow you in German and Japanese. She wants double the alimony. No way. Uberhaupt nicht. Tonde-mo nai. Given the situation under which the marriage was terminated, it's not an unreasonable request. You're referring to the alleged infidelity? Alleged? He was having sex with her in our bed. I knew you were worried about getting anything on that sofa. How dare you come in here... I shouldn't have said that. Sorry. People, people, please. Please. So, you are saying that infidelity is worth twice the alimony? Then using your reasoning, any infidelity of your client would have to be held against her in a monetary accounting. Correct? What are you suggesting? That the soon-to-be ex-Mrs Wade took some couch time of her own with the company accountant. And he's willing to testify. I have very loyal employees. Think it's the health plan. The health plan IS excellent. Thank you. You're welcome. So, obviously, we won't agree to pay the following... We will pay the alimony, plus $100,000 and very generous property settlement if you sign a little document releasing me from any further obligations. You sonofabitch! Please watch your language. You could lose the Southampton estate, Mrs Wade. Don't you ever call me that! You're just another one of his stupid bimbos! Now, wait! She is far from stupid. Oi! Oi! What the hell do you think you're doing? Up my nose. The water went up my nose. Don't panic. It's only water. Yes. OK? This hanky is very nearly clean. OK. I'm going to dab you. You may blow. Good. Thank you. Divorce always gives me an appetite. Kebab? No, thank you. I've never warmed to the idea of a flesh popsicle. One, please. Chicken, thanks. George, why give her the money? Because she'd never have stopped till she got it. Aren't you always telling me I have a responsibility to the less fortunate? George, everybody is less fortunate than you, so why not give the money to someone who won't spend it on collagen? You only want me to be generous to those you approve of. No, I only want you to finally allow me to do my job. You did your job. This morning I was married, now I'm not. You did it superbly. Thanks very much. No, that's fine. Keep the change. G...G...George. Hey, that's my coffee, you jerk! Oh, sorry. See, I thought you were needy. Moron. What's wrong with you? I thought you were needy. Can't a guy have a coffee? No, I...I didn't... Come on, Mother Teresa. Now you've ruined it! Jeez, is anyone NOT going to attack me today? I'm not. But I do need your help for something important. (SUBDUED MUZAK ) OK, now, what do you think of this? Too ornate? Or do you think it's beltacular? I don't care about the belt. You're upset. From now on, I'll get someone else to handle my divorces. It's not like I enjoy them. Maybe I should go somewhere where no-one knows how much money I have. Where is Staten Island? Why don't we go there? You could be my spinster sister and help me find my new wife. Doesn't that sound like fun? I'm a lawyer, George. I know. Best in the world. Thanks for the compliment, but Harvard doesn't give degrees in Yenta. I'm not here to find you a wife or pick out clothes. Ooh, sorry. My heroes are Clarence Darrow, Thurgood Marshall, Ruth Ginsburg... Who's another non-scummy lawyer? Oh! My parents! My father worked for Martin Luther King. My mother is a law professor. They taught me that lawyers should be treated with respect. I have complete respect for you. R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Luce, wait. Wait! ( ORGAN MUSIC ) MAN: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here to join together Meryl and Tom as they stand before us on this joyous day, proclaim their love and enter into that most sacred bond of all - the bond of holy... ( MOBILE PHONE RINGS ) ( PHONE CONTINUES RINGING ) (Sighs) I'm so sorry. Ooh. Please continue. Everyone looks so beautiful. Just keep going, OK? 'Bye, you guys. Hold this for me. Sorry. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. 20 bucks for your cab. Keep the $20 and let's have dinner. Uh...keep your dinner, I'll keep my $20 and we'll call it even. OK. Sounds good. OK. 'Bye. Go. SONG: # I'm coming home, baby # Do do do do do do do do # I'm coming home now... # George, George, pick up. What's wrong? Please don't tell me the Coney Island construction permits didn't come through. I had the application in to the zoning committee by 9am. # Every night and day I don't sleep # I'm coming home, baby # Come on home # I'm coming home... # Evening, Miss Kelson. Billy, told you the Mets would sweep. Miss Kelson. 'Ms', Hana. Good evening, Miss Kelson. Linda. # Baby, tell me you're coming home # Baby, I'm for sure coming home # I'm coming home, baby... # George. GEORGE: Help! I'm in my closet. George. Oh, good, you're here. What is it? That is a very attractive... thing that you are wearing. George, what is it? I'm judging the Miss New York contest in under an hour, it's on television, what do you think? Don't tell me you called me out of a wedding to pick out a suit. You ran out of a wedding? Why? You said it was an emergency. Didn't I memo you as to what constitutes an emergency? Yes. Large meteor. Severe loss of blood. What was the third one again? Death! Death. And you're not dead. Just like you weren't dead when you called me because you had a nightmare about becoming the fifth member of KISS. Just like when you barged in on my women's doctor appointment to ask which picture to put on the cover of 'People'. I don't like those. This is insane. If it's any consolation, I will be dead, eventually. Tonight is important. I'm representing the Wade organisation. That includes you. Not anymore, George. Sorry? You got Island Towers. I got Coney Island. Why don't we call it quits? I can't take it anymore. What? Are you serious? Yes. Please consider this my two weeks notice. Well, I find you...ungrateful. Ungrateful?! Yes, ungrateful. Ungrateful?! Yes. Yes. I...I hire you with no corporate experience and give you a wonderful apartment, a great office. The non-fat muffin basket every morning. If you don't want to be disturbed, why do you keep your phone on? Because you like emergencies. You crave the excitement. Alright, George. You're absolutely right. This has nothing to do with you. This is all my thing. I've managed to turn myself into this...this...this... There's not even a name for it. It's not like I'm enjoying it either. Before you came into my life, I made all kinds of decisions. Now, I can't. I'm addicted. I must know what you think. What do you think? I think you're the most selfish human being on the planet. That's just silly. Have you met everyone on the planet? Goodbye, George. I don't have a shirt. LUCY: Ansell, I've finally quit. He called me out of Meryl's wedding. I'll never get that moment back. ANSELL: OK. I'll set up interviews with law firms and I'll... OK. Alright. Hang on. What? We're shipping out. I've got to go. You take care of yourself. Alright. I got to go, hon. Just don't fall in love with any cute marine biologists, OK? OK, I promise. 'Bye. OK. Love you. 'Bye. . ( PHONES RING ) WOMAN: Can I help you? MAN: Lowell, Hanes and Richards. I'm really looking forward to a new challenge, and your firm's always had the optimal blend of public and private interest law. Lucy, your resume's amazing. But we do lots of business with Wade. All the more reason for me to make a smooth transition. Lucy. Yes? George Wade called me this morning and informed me that you are indispensable to his organisation. Ah. At the moment, we're not hiring. Then why did you agree to see me? Honestly, we're partners with Zodiac Construction... They do millions of dollars worth of business with Wade Realty. And Mr Wade... Doesn't want you to hire me. This morning, the attorney who planned to quit reconsidered. When did Mr Wade call? He never called. When?! Maybe an hour ago. Make sure you massage his cloven hoof. Girls, I'm suddenly feeling a pain in my arse. I am unemployable! You called everyone except Slurpee Heaven! That is not true. I did call Slurpee Heaven. They didn't want you. Said you weren't Slurpee material. You should really let us work on you. I don't like to be touched. I'm sorry. You guys are great. Really. Alright, listen. You have a contract which says that you will work until Island Towers is finalised which I interpret as completion of construction or I can stop you working anywhere else. There's no loopholes, 'cause you drafted it, and you're the best. Now, subconsciously, I think you drafted it that way 'cause you don't want to go. Does it kill you how well I know you? Honey, this contract is excellent work. I'm very proud of you. LUCY: Dad, I'm trying to get out of it. I don't know why you went to work for that robber baron. You usually have impeccable instincts. I mean, look at your boyfriend Ansell. He's a dedicated environmental lawyer. This is ironclad. Houdini couldn't get out of this. You should've stayed at the Legal Aid job. If I do pro bono work with a company with these resources, I can accomplish so much... Luce, come over for strawberry ice-cream. You'll have Tofutti. You heard what the doctor said. Your cholesterol's over 300. You're basically a solid. Amazing. Two great legal minds arguing over dessert. Lucy, it was your choice to work for that man. You could've done anything. You could've clerked for the Supreme Court. I don't know what to tell you. Short of going in, deliberately trying to get fired. Stay away from that freezer! SONG: # R-E-S-P-E-C-T # Find out what it means to me # R-E-S-P-E-C-T # Take care, TCB # Sock it to me, sock it to me, sock it to me # Sock it to me # A little respect # Sock it to me, sock it to me # Show # Just a little bit # A little respect # Just a little bit... # Good morning, boys. Oops. Ooh. Sorry. I am so late. Ooh. Oh, that's fine. We only just got here. 45 minutes ago. Mmm. Howie, are these your kids? Hmm. You know, I've never actually met them. They are good-looking boys. Uh? Well, that's a girl. That's Sue...and Paul. Ah. Yep. So it is. You know what? She is going to be a heart-breaker, huh? Hmm? That's, um...Paul. Hmm. Here. Thank you. Hmm. Sorry. So...we've got the Coney Island project. I'd like to stir up some publicity if we could. That's very nice. I'm... I'm working on endorsements from local merchants. Hmm. Any thoughts, George? Yes. Um...we were working on some ideas there. Um... Hiya. I thought that was a terrific meeting. We should have more meetings like that. Pathetic. What's pathetic? You. I know what you're doing. I am not doing anything. You think if you stop doing your work, that'll get you fired. I tell you, not in this company. Chris. George. George, I have an ulcer. I don't sleep well, because you keep calling me in the night. If you don't call, I dream that you'll call. I think about you in the shower - in an I'm so distracted I can't remember if I washed my hair kind of way. So I wash my hair twice! I have a hole in my stomach. I'm running out of shampoo. Today's the first time in my life that I didn't give 1,000% on the job. I hate that feeling. (Sighs) I won't call after hours. You will, George. You know you will. Yeah, I will. I just...I just don't think that we can see each other... professionally anymore. (Sighs noisily) Alright, then. Stay until you find a replacement and train him up. Then you can go to Slurpee Heaven. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. I will find you somebody amazing. Somebody better than me. I'm not even any good. No. A glorified ambulance chaser. Mm-hm. Mmm. Thank you. Mmm. ( SMALL OBJECT HITS GROUND ) Hmm. I got it. It's just my earring. Uh...uh...ow! Careful. Careful. That's my overpriced Italian belt. Ow! Ow! Just get it off! Arggh. Howard. Join us. We were just brainstorming. Lucy? Yes, um...I was thinking that it might be a good idea to do a photo op at the build site, where George would be in the, uh...George in the foreground, uh...pointing up to the sky, like this. Yes. Then I thought I could take my belt off, as if to say, "Let's get to work." Yeah. Right. Righto. So, on behalf of Wade Corporation, I'd like to thank the community board for allowing us to work with you on this project. We look forward to seeing you at the ground breaking. I did rather well with those eight people. You were fantastic. This way, Mr Wade. Just Mr Wade. More? Great. Can we go now? Absolutely. I just want to say hello to my folks. Folks? Excuse me. Hello. Hi, honey. Hi, Daddy. Is that a new coat? Oh, my God. What a wonderful surprise. We finally meet after all this time. George Wade. Mrs Kelson, I presume. What a pleasure. Yeah. Well, I can certainly see where Lucy gets her stare from. I'm Larry. It's a pleasure to meet you. Thanks, Larry. Same here. Thank you for letting Lucy quit. It certainly made our week. Great pleasure. We should probably get back to the office. Have some cake. No, Dad, we can't. We're two blocks from the apartment. You live around here? Sure. What a charming coincidence. It won't be a charming coincidence once you block out the sun with this condo hotel monstrosity. We will have a sundeck. That's something, isn't it? Larry, Ruth, I can't tell you how much I appreciate your support on this project. LARRY: At least you're going to keep the community centre. Unless you're willing to reconsider the entire project. I'm afraid that's not going to happen. It's over $50 million in profits. RUTH: I think it's immoral that any human being acquire that much wealth. I don't know how you sleep. I have a machine that simulates the sound of the ocean. Oh, God. LUCY: You're not helping yourself. LARRY: Do they work? Very much so. I used to come up here all the time when I was a kid. My special place. Yes, well, every kid needs one. I had a small one bedroom on Park and 81st. Wow. That's so very Oliver Twist. Times were hard. But do you know what? We were happy. Didn't have a view as good as that. It's great, isn't it? I used to take up ice-cream and my Carole King tape and look at the neighbourhood. It's amazing what you could see. At night the whole building would go downstairs. The fathers would stand on one corner. The mothers would stand on the other. Kids would ride their bicycles around. As you can see, not much has changed. Mr and Mrs Goldfarb would sit on their lawn chairs in the street, saving a parking space for their children who were coming next weekend. And you up here on your own. Mm-hm. Well, it's hard to find a quiet place in Brooklyn to think. Or to...replay whatever argument I just had with my mother. Yes. She's terrifying. (Chuckles) Yeah. I thought she was going to kill me and feed me to the poor. She's a piece of work. But, for better, for worse, she's the voice in my head, pushing me to do better - challenge the accepted wisdom, never settle for a 'B' on a test. You once got a 'B'? Hypothetically speaking. Oh. Of course, no matter how hard I try, I will never live up to her expectations. Well, there are worse things in life. Like no-one having any expectations. There's something amuck with this sponge cake. (Chuckles) Tofu. Ah. ( LAIDBACK ELECTRONIC KEYBOARD MUSIC ) Hmm. You're not concentrating. This offends me. Yeah, I'm sorry. I...I lost Lucy. I just think it's a shame, because I've come to rely on her for everything, and I trust her completely and...she's funny. Not deliberately, of course. Hey, you know, it's probably for the best, though. Hmm. Why is that? Two things I know is chess and women. Chess - it has rules. Pieces - rooks, knights, bishops. They move in predictable patterns. Somebody wins, somebody loses. But women? They don't have no rules. And they move in unpredictable ways too. Nobody ever wins or loses when it comes to women. You talk about your feelings till all your breath is sucked out your body. All men are pawns when it comes to women. Especially a smart one like Lucy. She's hard to control. The man has got to be in control. OK, like with me. I come home - when I walk in, I know my momma has dinner on the table. Alright. So...so, you're still living at home? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. . LUCY: Here's somebody interesting. Polly St Clair. Well, it's a terrific resume, Polly, and... ..and, um... congratulations on the baby. What baby? (Whispers) Maybe you should check with me before you talk. What baby? I'd like to talk to you about your moot court experience. What baby?! Yeah. What baby? Eh? You should do the interviews on your own from now on. Whatever you say, baby. (Chuckles) Harry Roskin. Richard Beck. There's some interesting prospects for my replacement. See. Ooh. Richard Kelly from Yale. No, it's got to be a woman. What a surprise. I suppose a certain bust size would help - maybe some bathing suit shots. It'll annoy Howard if it's a woman. Oh. Thank you. I want someone who's as intelligent as you are, but possibly just a little less tense and argumentative. A sort of, um... Katharine Hepburn figure. You don't deserve Katharine Hepburn. Audrey Hepburn. Also too good for you. Just stay away from the Hepburns. I've got a beet. Beet. Oh. Thank you. ( 'PAPA'S GOT A BRAND NEW BAG' PLAYS ) MAN: Mr W. Hi. # Papa's in the swing # He ain't no drag... # OK, now, look, I've got that charity tennis thing tonight. I need to know does this shirt make me look like Bjorn Borg? Ansell and I just got into a huge fight. I think we just broke up. Really? He wants me to go on a Greenpeace boat. He thinks I can't embrace life. Is that the case? Because I just don't see it. I just don't see it. And how can I embrace him when he is never here? Maybe it's me. Maybe the rose-coloured glasses have finally come off. But, you know... (Thumps stapler) OK. We obviously can't leave you alone with a stapler. I tell you what, I'll cancel tennis. They always make me play with Ed Koch. What can we do to cheer you up? Nothing. There's no solution. Good. Good attitude. I can't help it if I don't like boats. Well, surely not all boats. (English accent) Yes, all boats. ( GENTLE PIANO MUSIC ) LUCY: I don't understand. What is wrong with me? GEORGE: At the moment, huge quantities of alcohol. I don't know. I just seem to drive men away. There's Ansell. There's Billy from Legal Aid who ran off with a stripper. Don't forget Gary from the Peace Corps who married his trainer. Ah, Gary, yes. Oh, what is wrong with me? I want to know. You're sort of a man. Oh. Ooh. Alright? Yep. I'm good. Whoo. So, tell me... ..what's the matter with me? Well, you can be somewhat intimidating. You know, you could loosen up a little - get in touch with your feminine side. OK. That's a good suggestion. Perhaps soften your appearance. Not that I don't love that look. But, you know, you could get dolled up occasionally. I'm not going to spend hours fluffing my hair and applying animal-tested make-up to my face just so I can turn myself into some male fantasy degrading kewpie doll. No. Unless I really liked the guy or something. You see, maybe that's the problem. Mmm. You don't like these guys. You drive them away because you realise, deep down, they're wrong for you. They're not wrong for me. We have all the same political goals and ideals. All of them. Which I guess isn't very romantic but... Whoa, whoa, whoa. ..what can I say? I'm fine. I'm just not a romantic person. Never felt that way about anybody. Nope. No. You know, in high school, Rick Beck took me parking... You know, parking. Mm-hm. And the whole time I talked about Nelson Mandela. I don't know why I did that. That is very hard to say. I would've found it extremely erotic. Come back. I'm fine. I don't know. Maybe I'm just not good in bed. Maybe you're not. (Chuckles) I am. Yeah? Oh, yeah. I am really good in bed. You might be lousy. No. Believe me, pal, you should be so lucky, 'cause this lawyerly exterior, don't let that fool you, because inside I am like a complete animal. It's like bobcat. You know, it's scary. I can see that it might be. No, no, I can... I can bend like a pretzel. I'm serious. I'm not talking the straight kind. I'm talking like the twisty kind. You know? Like the bobcat salty type of pretzel. 'Cause that's what men want. That's what men want, right? That is their dream. Twisty bobcat kind of pretzel. That's what you want. I bet I could give you a twisty bobcat pretzel. Want it? You're a really good listener. Whoa. Luce? Luce? Are you...? Hello? Robbie. Help. Help. Oh. I'll just get her upstairs. Think you can make it? Uh...no. No. Let's put her somewhere else. Good. Good. Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. There. Right. Good. She looks so peaceful when she's asleep. Like a doll. (Snores loudly) A doll with a sinus problem. We should put a pillow under her head. I think that helps. Good. (Snores louder) Much worse. Interesting. (Snores) Do you think we should change her clothes? Right. Don't know where that came from. (Snores loudly) Hey, honey. Hey. (Speaks loudly) Morning! OK. Not so loud. Ah. We didn't, um... Last...last night, we didn't, um... It was a magical night. You made sounds I've never heard a woman make before. We...we didn't... Well, not physically, but spiritually you were the best I've ever had. Oh. Um...whatever I did or didn't do or said or didn't say, uh...it was all a little mistake. Well, nothing happened. Well, that's a relief. I'm very busy. I have work to do. You stay there and relax. OK. I'll see you later. (Exhales heavily) Lucy! Huh? (Sighs) Jesus. Careful. Uh, there is a June Carver to see you. June Carver. June Carver. June Carver. She went to Harvard. So did I. Now look at me. Norman. Norman. Norman. Norman! Sorry. She didn't have a strong background in property law. She's down from Boston. She only wants five minutes. Lucy. Lucy? This is June Carver. Hi. Hi. It's a pleasure to meet you. You too. I know I don't have an appointment. Feel free to throw me out. I have security on stand-by. (Laughs) Have a seat, please. Thanks. Do you have a...? Criminal with Professor Rapaport? Oh, my God! I'm still shaking. Yeah. But I have to tell you, Miss Kelson, you're a legend there. Me? Editor of the 'Law Review'. Those articles you wrote on the Richman case. You're an inspiration. Well, I... I know I don't have a strong background in property, but neither did you when you graduated and look what you've accomplished. Oh. Well, you know, not that much, really. I... And there is this. Obviously I've never met Mr Wade but in an issue of 'Public Policy' magazine, he was being interviewed about the challenges of urban development. He said that, um... Isn't it ridiculous that I'm quoting this? No. Not...not yet. "'When I think about how architecture "'can shape a community and turn strangers into neighbours, "'how the right design for a park makes people feel secure, "'how a school building can be functional and beautiful "'so kids feel engaged instead of imprisoned...'" When I read that, I felt I'd be working for a cause, not just a company. OK! You're hired. You're Mr Wade! Yeah, someone has to be. Although I didn't write that. Lucy did. No, you did. I remember being shocked. We've been working together so long, it's hard to remember who did what. It sounds like an amazing team. George... It was incredibly presumptuous of me to come waltzing in here, but Miss Kelson was nice enough to see me. They're calling from the Zoning Commission, Lucy. Oh. Right. OK. June, why don't we set up a proper interview for tomorrow? No. It's alright. It's alright. I could, um... ..finish up with June. You're not coming to the meeting? Have I ever come to the meeting? Good point. Alrighty. Alrighty. Oh, this stupid plant! Do something with this, will you? Absolutely. The ficus is fired. Bye-bye. Goodbye. Yes. Tell me, first of all... George. ..you have come from which...? I was just... Harvard. Are we still on for the Mets game tonight? I love baseball. So are we still good? I'm a Red Sox fan all the way. A Red Sox fan? Interesting. You obviously have a rich fantasy life. Which, I have to say, is a fabulous plus in this company. OK, that means you're a Boston girl, probably a little bit Irish Catholic, big family. Dirty, that kind of thing. Exactly! CROWD: Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets! Let's go, Mets! CATCHER: Strike him out! So, um...what did you think of June? Yeah, I loved her. Loved her. Oh, great. Yeah, me too. Yeah, she smiled obsequiously, flattered me constantly, said she'd have no problem picking out any ottoman. Exactly what I'm looking for in a new attorney. A tad weak on the experience side. We went out for a drink, talked for an hour. Clever girl, you know. Sharp. So you guys went out for a drink and... Mm-hm. Mm-hm. She's got nowhere to stay at the moment. I found her a room at the Grand. And I invited her to the company outing. She's a useful tennis player. Oh. Well, I can swing a racquet. Yes, I know. At my head. I've experienced it. Thanks to you for finding her. Genius. Oh, God! It's going to hit us! Oh! Oh! Get out of the way! Move! Ooh! Hey, hey, hey! Are you alright? Yeah. Take it easy! Thanks, George. Hey! Next time, go to a Yankees game. CROWD: Boo! ( BOOING CONTINUES ) That was totally inappropriate. Look! You're on TV! Stop it. ( LOUNGE MUSIC CHA-CHA ) Nice! Nice one! Thank you. Ha! Whoo! Uh, 3-0. Alright. Cool. (Laughs) Nice! Yeah! Mine, mine, mine, mine! Hey, come on! Lucy! Oh, my God! Lucy, are you OK? Do I have a concussion? Ask me something. Name all the Supreme Court justices. Uh, Thomas, Ginsburg, Scalia, Stevens, Kennedy, Rehnquist, Souter, Breyer, O'Connor. Is that right? How should I know? You want some? Mmm, thanks. I really shouldn't. OK. Do you think she's a natural redhead? You're so good at this. ( EASYGOING RHYTHM AND BLUES ) I was going to give June a lift and then Howard offered. The fact that he liked her is obviously a big strike against her. Although she is an excellent tennis player. Very nice form. A very nice form, actually. Man, oh, man! Incredibly lithe and... What? What? I thought you liked her too. No, I just... I think I just ate too much. Yeah? (Laughs shakily) What did you have? Oh, just, you know, a chilli dog and some fries. And a soda. And a bag of some little girl's cookies. And...another chilli dog's stuck in there somewhere. (Groans) OK. Well, let's try to take your mind off it. OK. Uh... Heard from Ansell lately? Oh, I'm sorry. I've been thinking about this. You should move on, forget him. Plenty of other pebbles on the beach. The world's full of men dying to spend their life with a compulsive eater incapable of falling in love. What?! I've fallen in love. Oh, yeah? Yes! With whom, might I ask? And no pets. Billy Westhouse. Oooh! Billy who? Yes, Westhouse. I knew him in high school. And did you tell Billy that you loved him? Did you say, "Billy, I love you"? Oooh! Ow! Oh, goodness! It's not funny. I'm sorry. (Groans) Oh. Oh, that last chilli dog is really barking. Yes. ( THUNDER CRACKS ) It's not perfect timing, I must say. We'll be back in the city in 20 minutes. I don't have 20 seconds. I feel like I swallowed a cruise missile. Listen, if you want to go, go. What? What am I? Five years old? This is my car! It's only a Volvo. People just don't go in Volvos. I'll buy you another Volvo. No! That will be the only thing you'll ever remember about me. I'll be the woman who went on the front seat. That would be hard to forget. (Whimpers) OK, I have an idea. See that RV? Yes. That is our target. Can you make it? Therein lies your salvation. No! Yes, it's an excellent idea. It's unclean. It's a brainwave. No, I can hold it. Out of the car. I can hold it! George, I'm holding it. ( ROCK'N'ROLL INTRODUCTION ) I'm fine. I can hold it. No! No! No! George, no! I'm not going. I'm holding. Come on. Ooh! You right? Hi there. Oh! Ah! Can you get up? Are you alright? Yes! SONG: # I get up every morning... # OK? Alright? Yeah, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. Alright. Oh! Oh, my ankle. What? What? What? Ow! Oh, no, no, no! Oh, God, no! # And the girls who try to look pretty... # Hi there. # If your train's on time... # Oh, God! # You can get to work by 9:00 # And start your slaving job to get your pay... # Excuse me. Sorry to bother you. We're not insane, but my friend needs a bathroom. I'll give you $100. $1,000! OK. Thank you very much. # And I'll be taking care... # Thank you. # Of business every day # Taking care of business # Every way # I've been taking care of business # It's all mine # Taking care of business # And working overtime # Work out ( GUITAR BRIDGE ) # And we've been taking care of business # Every day # Taking care of business # Every way... # (Hums) # We've been taking care of business... # Where are you guys from? Well, Kentucky originally. But now this is pretty much home. Uh-huh. ( GROANS FROM BATHROOM ) ( LOUD THUD FROM BATHROOM ) Come here, babies. Hurry. LUCY: Oh! So what kind of mileage do you get out of this thing? It's an RV, right? A... ( ENGINES START OUTSIDE ) ..recreational vehicle? Whoo! Traffic's moving. Oh, whoa! Hold it! Hold it! Hold it one sec! How are you doing? Are you nearly ready? Oh, kill me! Yeah. Oh, um... Oh. ( ENGINES REV, HORNS HONK ) Oh. Look at that poor jerk. ( HORNS HONK ) Yes. Poor jerk. Oh! Whoa, Nelly! George, where's the car? I'm sure it's been safely towed by now. Oh, God! George, George, George. Don't worry. Don't worry. In many ways, it was the perfect end to the day. Except for those poor children in the trailer. They actually looked quite frightened. No, I won't tell anyone. Once it's published in the company newsletter, there will be absolutely no point. Alright. Call for a lift. Would you like to have your nails done? A Hollywood tan perhaps? SONG: # Come fly with me # Let's fly, let's fly away # If you can use some exotic booze # There's a bar in far Bombay # Come fly with me # Let's take off in the blue # Once I get you up there # Where the air is rarefied # We'll just glide... # ( GENTLE MUSIC ) LUCY: God, it is such a beautiful city. GEORGE: And my favourite building of all time. Look at that. Nirosta steel. Sunburst tower. Gleaming gargoyles. All designed by a man called William van Alen, obsessed with beating his former partner who was building the Bank of Manhattan tower at 927 feet. So van Alen announced the Chrysler Building at 925 feet and then surreptitiously assembled a 180-foot mast inside the tower and only revealed it after the bank tower had been completed, thereby giving van Alen the world's tallest building for three months until... The Empire State Building. Alright. Please give me the name of van Alen's former partner. Who is H. Craig Severance? I find you... ..annoying. Yes, I'm sure you do. But it is pretty amazing what dreams and lots of money can do. Isn't it? Yes, it is. And you know you're part of that, George. Yes, I am. All you have to do is use your power for good instead of evil. If only I would. Listen, um... Listen, I'm very sorry that these last couple of months have been unbearable for you. Hmm, not at all. Unbearable would have been...bearable. Then I suppose it's a good thing that your two weeks are almost up. This is it. I'll do the Children's League benefit, make sure June is properly set up, take a pass at your speech for the groundbreaking and I'll be out of your life forever. Great. Mmm. (French accent) Super. ( GENTLE MUSIC ) . Hi. Hey, hey, hey. I have tennis elbow from the other day. Oh, yes? Lucy has tennis forehead. Much worse. Oh, no! I still feel terrible about that. Thank God she looks OK. Mmm. Especially with that big benefit you're all going to tonight. What was it again? It's a benefit for the New York Children's League. Lucy makes us give lots of money to them to help society and get a tax break. Brilliant, eh? Sounds exciting. It would be almost impossible to tell you how boring it is, largely because it would be too boring. Well, boring for you might just be scintillating for a girl from Plainview, Wisconsin. See you later. Well, uh...if you're not busy, a bunch of us are going. Do you want to come and be bored? I'd love to. Right. Oh. Alright. See you later. OK. Good. These need to go to accounting. Our loan agreements need to be notarised. I got it. Here's the Zoning Commission reports you wanted, Lucy. Great. Start with the appraisals... Actually, I don't know how much time I have. George asked me to go to the benefit with him tonight. Oh. Great. I just have to figure out what to wear. I don't have anything. (Snidely) "Don't have anything." God, she's nice. They're very good muffins. They just need more fat. George, sign these or we default on five different loans. Take care. Hang on! What about my speech? Sorry, got to run. We'll pick you up at 8:00 and go through it in the car. And I asked June along. That's dandy. But I don't need a ride, thanks. ( PHONE RINGS ) Hello, Howard. George, I just received new estimates on Island Towers. Costs are skyrocketing. It will be cheaper to just knock down the community centre. But we only got the job because we said we'd keep the centre. We said we INTENDED to keep the centre. No, this is nonsense. You can't decide unilaterally. I'm coming over. George, I want a nap before the benefit. It's all very simple. Why not build the towers over the community centre? Because it will eat away our profits. There's to be a ground-breaking ceremony at Coney Island with our friend Assemblyman Perez. All I need is one of your charming speeches. Well, you're not going to get one. I need you there. I'll consult my schedule. No, you won't, George. It's your job. You're the public face of the company. They don't want to see me. I can't, for the life of me, think why not. You're magnificent. Look, whatever we lose on this deal, I'm in for half. You'll be in for nothing, the rate you're going. Expensive divorces. Poolside parties at the hotel for a thousand people, including fireworks and a performance by Sting. That was one special night. It was Wendy the concierge's farewell bash and a very good party, though I say so myself. I know you don't have a clue, but the economy's not what it was. Everything we've got, all of it, could go. Faster than you can imagine. We need this built. You're our closer and you will help me close this deal. Or I will fire you and take all your stock options. And I can't bear to see you like that, George. You will help me close this deal, George, won't you? I'm surprised you have to ask. I wasn't really asking. You should have gone with George. Well, he asked June. Not exclusively. He asked you too. He asked me too? How many women should a man take to dinner? Maybe in Utah. So you'll go alone? Sure. Why not? Hey, I think it's great. I was always too scared to go anywhere alone. Then I got married. Now I'll never be alone again. ( JAZZ PIANO VERSION OF 'THEY CAN'T TAKE THAT AWAY FROM ME' ) Oho! Check out this situation. You two kids have fun. Alright. Aha! Howard. Helen. How are you? Mr and Mrs Wade, good evening. I hate these things. It's ridiculous. Why can't we just give them money and be done? That would be fun. Who wants a drink? I'd love some champagne. We don't want anything. I'll have a scotch. Great. I'll be right back with one of the promotional bottles. Wade! Trump! I hear Kelson finally dumped you. Not exactly, no. We just came to a mutual understanding that she couldn't bear me for another second. So who's the new chief counsel? If she's any good, I'm stealing her away. She seems quite loyal to me. Let me be the judge of that. Alright. I'm not intimidated. ( APPLAUSE ) I'll even lead you to her. She's over there somewhere. (Norah Jones sings) # It's not the pale moon that excites me # That thrills and delights me # Oh, no # It's just the nearness of you # It isn't your sweet conversation # That brings this sensation # Oh, no # It's just the nearness of you... # Good evening. Good evening. # When you're in my arms... # Well, you look... I... I... You... I can't wait to hear your speech. Yeah. No, it's just you look absolutely... # So close... # ..surprising. # To me... # Well, you haven't seen the whole outfit yet. # All my wildest dreams... # You see, ordinarily, that would suit you extremely well, but... # Came true... # But tonight, you're... # I need no soft lights... # I'm just... # To enchant me... # Lucy! Hey. Hi. Wow! I love your dress. Oh, thank you. And you look very beautiful. Wow. (Laughs) I'm sorry. Was I interrupting something? No, no, no. We were just, uh... # To hold you... # ..going over my speech. # Ever so tight... # Right. Work, work, work. Speaking of which, Howard wants me to revise the Island Towers proposal now that we're tearing down the community centre. I could really use your help. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well... George, can I talk to you? Hang on. They're about to shoot a man out of a cannon into a vat of ice-cream. George. ( APPLAUSE ) ( LAIDBACK LOUNGE MUSIC ) I just spent half the night arguing with Howard... I don't care about Howard. I care about you, your word and the community centre. No community centre. I see, OK. Look, it's not the end of the world. And we do give millions to charities, your charities, actually. So that justifies lying. And since when is helping people and telling the truth mutually exclusive? George, you promised me. Here we go. You said to tell you when you were a schmuck. It's frankly none of your business! You don't work here anymore. You won't even try to be the person you could be. This is the person I could be. No! You walk around with the comforting thought that you are hopelessly second-rate. I never believed it until this minute. This is the first time in a year that I really don't like you. Well, I haven't liked me for a lot longer than that. I'm not that crazy about you right now. Why don't you be the person you're supposed to be? I see the mature part of the evening has begun. Oh, buzz off, Bozo! MAN ON P.A.: Ladies and gentlemen, the ice-cream is ready! Here comes the topping! ( CANNON SHOT ) ( APPLAUSE AND CHEERING ) George, thanks again. This was a spectacular evening. Well. (Laughs) I can't wait to tell my family who I met. Why? Who did you meet? You. Nah. What? Oh, the elevator. Oh. Evening. MAN AND WOMAN: Evening. How's your room, by the way? Amazing. But I want to pay you back with interest. Oh, don't be ridiculous. Don't need interest. (Laughs) Oh, well, this is me. Hmm. So, um, goodnight. Yeah, goodnight. Um... I-I had a wonderful time. Good. I'm very glad about that. So, um, goodnight. Yes, goodnight. (Clears throat loudly) (Clears throat) Oh. It's alright. I own the hotel. Your breakfast is complimentary. Mmm. Gorgeous. I know it's a bit weird, living in a hotel. But somehow it has a very homey feel. Hmm. Would you like something from the minibar? (Laughs) Maybe a beer. Right. Oh, wow. Chess. I love chess. You know what I love even more than chess? Pokemon? Strip chess. Yes, that is a very good game. George? We need to finish this conversation... JUNE: Lucy? Oh! June, hi. Lucy, hey. Wow. Wow, great slip. Oh. That's a great dress. Oh, you know, same one as before. Alright, break's over. I'm gonna capture your bish... Hi. Hi. We were just playing a little chess. And doing some laundry. Oh, that's...that's OK, 'cause I was just about to go off and have some sex myself. I mean, you know, not by myself, but with somebody. With somebody else. Oh, you don't know him. He's, uh...he's at my apartment. Yeah. In my bed. His name's Barry. Yeah. Barry in my bed. ( LIFT BELL DINGS ) OK. 'Bye. That was embarrassing. ( MELANCHOLY MUSIC ) Hey. Hey. What's wrong? Thanks for your shoes. (Sniffles) Whoa, whoa, whoa! Hold on, lady. Look at me. What happened? Nothing. Something happened. I've known you since Brownies. I've never seen you cry. Oh, except when Bush won. Which Bush? Both of them. So maybe you cried twice. This is a different George. I'm sorry. It's not supposed to be like this. Maybe it is. Maybe it's like the philosopher Sri Yogananda says - "Only that which is the other gives us fully unto ourselves." I had to fight for Tom. It was the best thing I ever did. Really? Everything OK? Not now! Everything is not about you! OK. ( MELANCHOLY MUSIC CONTINUES ) (Sighs heavily) q Quiet, everyone! Quiet down, please. Thank you. I have a little poem I wrote for you, Lucy. If you could just come up here. Please. (Chuckles) (Clears throat) You ready for this? Rhyme away. OK. "A rolling stone gathers no moss "So you're leaving with your antacids and floss..." (All laugh) "Our hair, perhaps, we will toss "But we are at a loss "Because you are the world's best... "..boss." (All applaud) Well, that was a very nice speech you just made, and I'm going to really miss everyone here at Wade. And... Um, there are a million memories I wouldn't trade, and if you ever get accused of murder, you can find me at Legal Aid. (Laughs) What was that? It was the same thing you just did. Oh, 'bye, 'bye. 'Bye. Thank you. 'Bye. Oh, 'bye. I'm going to miss your comprehensive reports. Oh, me too, me too. Lucy, thank you so much for everything. Oh, no problem. Well, good luck with everything. And I'm sorry about last night. That was awkward. Oh, not at all. Brian was unbelievable. Oh, I thought it was Barry. Well, it... Barry was first, then it was Brian, and then it was just crowded. (Laughs) Almost forgot my stapler. Is that... Oh, God. What? Never mind. No, no. What? Well, it's just that technically I think the stapler belongs to the company. That's right. But... You know what? Whatever. The stapler just goes way back with me and... Oh, you keep it. It'll be our little secret. Really? Yeah. Oh. Great. Thank you. Thank you very much. I guess I've earned it, working here 18 hours a day, seven days a week. Wow! Yeah. Guess that makes you a workaholic. No, those are the hours when you work with George. Well, no. I mean, I can be a workaholic too. That's why I'm very vigilant about... ..separating my personal and professional life. Really? I guess that would explain the late-night meeting in your slip. I'm sorry? What? That is absolutely none of your business. OK, fine. How much does a stapler run? Here. Here's $10. Here's $10. Ridiculous. Just leave it. It's not yours. What is the matter? Give me it. You didn't pay for it. Just give me... It's not... You have more of these. Oh, my God. Just give it! No, no, no. All we're missing is the mud. Alright, alright. Enough, enough, enough. Ow! She's hurting me. Leave off, off, off. In here. In here. (Mouths words) (Grunts) What was that? Your girlfriend wouldn't give me back my stapler. Part of a new office-supplies stripsearch. YOUR stapler? Are you still planning on knocking down the community centre? Listen, I know you're upset about last night. Are you still planning on knocking down the community centre? I tried to call you... Are you still planning on knocking it down? Are you incapable of talking about your own life? Are you still planning on knocking it down? Alright, let me remind you you came to the hotel. I was with June. We were unusually dressed. You must...you must have some feelings. (Clears throat) I don't have to listen to this. You know what? Where do you come off? Where do you come off? I didn't take this job to sleep with you. I took it for a cause. You are a cause! You make Gandhi look like a used-car salesman. I can't believe how easy you're being on yourself. Let's go over this again, OK? You promised me a community centre... Yes, I promised, I promised, I promised. I'm sorry. I can't control the economy. I can't control my brother. I did promise, and I let you down. I'm sorry, but I'm human. A lot of people are! I'm human too! Are you? Because you're too perfect. No-one can keep up with you. That's probably why all those other guys bolted as fast as their Birkenstocks could carry them - 'cause you're intolerable and no-one wants to be preached to. No-one wants to live with a saint - they're boring. ( DOOR CREAKS ) WOMAN: Mr Wade, your brother wants to see you. Right. (Coughs) Hi, Mr Wong? Yes, Lucy Kelson. Yeah, it's been a long time. I'm back at my parents' house. Kind of fun being in my old bedroom and in the neigh... Sorry. Can I have, um, two number 6s and, um, a number 12? Yeah. Yes, that's for one. Always for one. (Laughs) Yes, that's... You know what? Just throw in a couple of egg rolls. That would be great. MAN: For years, Coney Island has been trying to attract this kind of development. ( APPLAUSE ) Hopefully, Island Towers is the start of big things to come. And now it is my honour to introduce to you one of the men who made this all possible, George Wade! You look great. Go and earn your money, George. Thanks. Thank you very much, Assemblyman Perez. Your mom is teaching today, so we'd better grab a bite to eat and be on our way. We have some protesting to do at the community centre. I'm not going. What are you talking about? Dad, I cannot stand to watch another building get knocked down. Hey! We didn't raise you to sit on the sidelines. Ever since you were little you fought for your beliefs. You were on the White House enemies list at five. I'm not sitting on the sidelines. I'm going to work. What's the point? He won't listen. Besides, he said some things to me that were just so, so... ..true. Then you change your tactics, you change your argument. You don't give up. We didn't give up on civil rights or equality for women or fair housing. Honey? Hm. As long as people can change, the world can change. Yeah, but what if people can't change? Hm. Well, let me put it this way. I'm sitting here eating a piece of cheesecake made entirely of soy. And I hate it. But I'm eating it. I'm going to work. 'Bye. Good luck. The law is pretty clear on this. If the landlord hasn't kept up proper maintenance he cannot evict you, so we're gonna help you. Let me go get you some forms to get you started. Well, hello. Hi. You don't remember me, do you? Polly St Clair? You interviewed me. You thought I was having a baby. Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Polly. Wow. So you work here now? Mm-hm. Terrific. How are you? Pregnant. (Laughs) I'm not falling for that one again. No, I'm really pregnant. You can congratulate me now. I wasn't born yesterday. I'm pregnant! Want to see the damn sonagram? Got lucky, Mrs Munez, we got... Hi. Hi. I'm busy. Yes. I need your advice on one last thing, and then I promise you'll never hear from me again. I just delivered the first speech I've written entirely by myself since we met, and I think I may have blown it, so I wanted to ask your thoughts. OK. Then I will read it to you. "I'd like to welcome everyone on this special day. "Island Towers will bring glamour and prestige "to the neighbourhood "and become part of Brooklyn's renaissance. "We're pleased and proud to be here. "Unfortunately there is one fly in the ointment. "You see, I gave my word to someone "that we wouldn't knock down this building behind me. "Now, normally, and those "who know me or were married to me can attest to this, "my word wouldn't mean very much. "So why does it this time? "Well, partly because this building "is an architectural gem and deserves to be landmarked, "and partly because people really do need a place "to do seniors water ballet and CPR... "..preferably not together. "But mainly because this person, "despite being unusually stubborn "and unwilling to compromise "and a very poor dresser, "is... "..she's... "..rather like the building she loves so much - "a little rough around the edges, "but when you look closely... "..absolutely beautiful... "..and the only one of her kind. "And even though I've said cruel things "and driven her away, "she's become the voice in my head... "..and I can't seem to drown her out. "And I don't want to drown her out. "So we are going to keep the community centre... "..because I gave my word to her... "..and because we gave our word to the community." And I didn't sleep with June. That's not in the speech. That's just me letting you know that important fact. What do you think? I have to get back to work. Right. Right, yes. Yes, yes. Sorry to disturb you. Congratulations again, Polly. (Sighs) Aside from the split infinitive that was somewhere in the middle... ..that speech was actually quite perfect, wasn't it? Yeah. I don't know what the hell you're still doing sitting here. And I don't even like him. ( POIGNANT MUSIC ) (Gasps) George! ( UPBEAT MUSIC ) Ooh! Oh. SONG: # Let's stay together # 'Cause I'm still in love with you # Hold me... # George, I just want to say thank you...say thank you. And I know I can be harsh and demanding. I know this, but I want to change, because I believe people can change, and I can not be so demanding and meet you halfway. I just, you know, things... Lucy, I am in love with you. And I'm in love with you. # Ooh, yeah, yeah # Beautiful... # Oh, I should mention that I have resigned and am now poor. Good. When I say poor, I mean we may have to share a helicopter with another family. Does that work for you? As long as I don't have to work for you, we'll be fine. Excellent. And now I'd very much like to discuss that whole bobcat pretzel thing. Well, I was just kidding. I'm allergic to bobcats, actually. I'm very sorry to hear that. But I can do pretzel. That's excellent news. # Let's stay together # 'Cause I'm still in love with you # Hold me # All of the time # I'm tired of being along, ah, babe # Beautiful, beautiful # Beautiful # Hey, I wanna embrace it # In my heart # Beautiful, beautiful # Oh, you are so beautiful # So beautiful # Let's stay together # Love is a beautiful thing. # Hi, Mr Wong. It's Lucy Kelson. I need, um, one number 13, two number 7s... I can't believe how small this apartment is. It's actually shocking. I need, uh, three number 8s, no garlic... Good thing your parents went out. We'd never have squeezed in. I need, um, one number 7, and... I can actually walk across this apartment in six seconds. Watch this. One... ...and a number 11, please. No, actually, this is for two.