(SQUAWKS) 1 (SQUAWKS) (YELPS) (SCHOOL BELL RINGING) (BELCHES) (WHISTLE BLOWS) (BEEPING) (PLAYING THE BLUES) (PLAYING THE BLUES) HMM. (GUNFIRE) (TYRES SCREECHING) (HORN HONKING, GRANDPA SHOUTS) (TYRES SCREECHING) D'OH! (GRUNTS) (LIGHT PIANO MUSIC PLAYING) (CRUNCHING) (SLURPING) (SLURPING) AH! Able 2017 (ORGAN PLAYING) AND SO, IN SUMMARY, THERE ARE ONLY TWO REAL COMMANDMENTS, AND THE OTHER EIGHT ARE JUST "FILLER." (ALL MURMURING) OH, YEAH. (ALL MURMURING) OH, YEAH. AND NOW I HAVE SOME EXCITING NEWS. TOMORROW WE WILL BE BLESSED WITH A VISIT FROM THE HIGHEST-RANKING CLERGYMAN OF OUR PRESBY-LUTHERAN FAITH, HIS HOLINESS... THE PARSON. OF OUR PRESBY-LUTHERAN FAITH, HIS HOLINESS... THE PARSON. (EXCITED CHATTERING) THE PARSON?! HE'S COMING HERE? (GIRLISH SCREAM) OH MY GOD, SHE FAINTED! LET'S GO GET SMELLING SALTS! (CAR DOORS CLOSE, TYRES SQUEAL) (CAR DOORS CLOSE, TYRES SQUEAL) HOMER: SUCKERS! SPRINGFIELDERS HAVE CAMPED OUT ALL NIGHT TO GET A GLIMPSE OF THE MOST SAINTLY PERSON TO VISIT OUR TOWN SINCE MOTHER TERESA STOPPED HERE TO GAS UP HER VESPA. AND I'M SELLING ALL SORTS OF FAITH-BASED KNICKKNACKS. (CHUCKLES) LET'S TAKE A LOOK. (CHUCKLES) LET'S TAKE A LOOK. "I'D COMMIT ARSON FOR THE PARSON." "CLERGYMEN CAN KISS MY APSE." ALL KINDS OF GEMS. SURPRISINGLY, NONE OF THEM HAVE SOLD. EXCEPT FOR THIS ONE. THERE YOU HAVE IT. NEWS HAS NEVER BEEN SOFTER. WHAT'S THAT? THE PARSON IS HERE! (CAR HORN PLAYS "LA CUCARACHA") (CAR HORN PLAYS "LA CUCARACHA") OH MY GOD, IT'S HIM! THE EARTHLY EMBODIMENT OF THE ELECTED CHAIR OF THE NATIONAL CONGRESS OF DEACONS! (EXCITED CHATTERING) (EXCITED CHATTERING) WELL, WELL, WELL, HELLO, EVERYBODY. OH, I HOPE YOU DIDN'T GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE FOR LITTLE OL' ME. PARSON! PARSON! GIVE US A QUICK OFFICIAL CHURCH POSITION ON FAMILY? WELL, IN THESE MODERN TIMES, FAMILY IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN EVER. YOU JUST MADE MY MOUSTACHE TINGLE! SETTLE. SETTLE DOWN. SETTLE. SETTLE DOWN. NOW, NOW, I AM JUST A MAN LIKE ANY OTHER THAT HAS BEEN (DRAMATICALLY): CHOSEN BY GOD. I HAVE COME HERE FROM OUR WORLD SPIRITUAL HEADQUARTERS IN MICHIGAN CITY, INDIANA, TO SAY KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK! ALL: YAY! AND NOW. IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I'LL DO A LITTLE SPEAKIN' WITH YOUR DEACON. (LAUGHTER) # I LOVE TO GO TO CHURCH # # IT'S WHERE I LIKE TO BE # # I GET A DAY IN OF PRAYIN' # # AND STILL TEE OFF BY THREE. # OH, CALM DOWN, TIM. HE'S JUST YOUR OLD ROOMMATE FROM TEXAS CHRISTIAN. OH, CALM DOWN, TIM. HE'S JUST YOUR OLD ROOMMATE FROM TEXAS CHRISTIAN. HE'S LIKE THE POPE OF THIS THING! THIS WOULD BE LIKE MARY KAY VISITING YOU WHEN YOU WERE SELLING HER COSMETICS. THAT IS, IF YOU HAD STUCK WITH IT. THAT IS, IF YOU HAD STUCK WITH IT. YOU ASKED ME TO QUIT BECAUSE I WAS MAKING MORE THAN YOU. NOT NOW, HE'S HERE. WELCOME, YOUR HOLINESS. YOU'LL LOVE WHAT WE'VE DONE WITH THE CHURCH. THERE'S FRESH WAX ON ALL THE PEWS. OH, SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SOMEBODY PUT ON MORE THAN JUST ONE COAT. OH, SOUNDS TO ME LIKE SOMEBODY PUT ON MORE THAN JUST ONE COAT. MAYBE. TIM, UH, IS THERE SOMEWHERE THAT WE CAN TALK? OF COURSE-- MY OFFICE. OF COURSE-- MY OFFICE. PERFECT. # WALKIN' TO YOUR OFFICE IS WHAT I LIKE TO DO # # MAYBE WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WE'LL PEEK IN AT YOUR PEWS. # # MAYBE WHILE WE'RE AT IT, WE'LL PEEK IN AT YOUR PEWS. # (GASPS) NILLA WAFER? I'LL TAKE TWO, IF YOU DON'T MIND. TIM, I'M HERE BECAUSE OF A PROBLEM WITH YOUR LAST RECERTIFICATION. WHEN WE TRIED TO CHARGE THE FILING FEE TO YOUR CREDIT CARD, IT WAS DECLINED. OH, YEAH, THE BANK PUT ON A SECURITY HOLD AFTER THEY SAW A CHARGE FROM AN "OFFSHORE POKER CLUB." (MUFFLED MOANING) HELEN HAD BOUGHT A FIREPLACE POKER FROM NOVA SCOTIA. SHE SAYS IT SHIFTS LOGS BETTER THAN AMERICAN POKERS, BUT I DISAGREE. WE'LL GET THROUGH IT. WE ALWAYS DO. WELL, LOVE CONQUERS ALL, HUH? I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS HELEN SCHWARZBAUM. IN FACT, I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS HAROLD SCHWARZBAUM. IN FACT, I REMEMBER WHEN SHE WAS HAROLD SCHWARZBAUM. YOU WHAT? I'VE SAID TOO MUCH. BUT FOR THE THREE MONTHS IT TOOK YOUR CARD TO GO THROUGH, YOU WEREN'T CERTIFIED. ANYTHING YOU OFFICIATED DURING THAT TIME-- FUNERALS, BAPTISMS, EVEN BINGO-- WELL, IT JUST DIDN'T COUNT. OH, WELL, I'M SURE THE LORD IS UNDERSTANDING. NO, HE'S NOT. NO, HE'S NOT. OH. I'LL NOTIFY THOSE AFFECTED RIGHT AWAY. MM... MM... MM... MM... MM... TEATIME! WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S GOING ON? HELEN, I WAS BRIEFLY UNCERTIFIED. SO ALL THOSE GRACES YOU SAID WERE A LIE?! THAT FOOD MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN REGURGITATED BY SATAN HIMSELF. # REGURGITATED BY SATAN # # HE COULDN'T KEEP IT DOWN # # OL' 666, HE GOT SICK, SICK, SICK # # AND THAT'S HOW VOLCANOES WERE BORN. # DUE TO A BUREAUCRATIC SNAFU, I WASN'T AN OFFICIAL MINISTER WHEN WE LAID YOUR DEAR ESTELLE TO REST. SO... SHE'S STILL ALIVE? SO... SHE'S STILL ALIVE? I'M AFRAID NOT. GOOD, 'CAUSE I LEFT HER ASHES ON THE BUS. GOOD, 'CAUSE I LEFT HER ASHES ON THE BUS. (MOANS) (OVER RADIO): SO, CAPTAIN, WHEN I BLESSED YOUR VESSEL, IT DIDN'T COUNT. YAR, MAYBE THE NEXT ONE. (CHICKENS CLUCKING) SO I'M AFRAID I WASN'T A MINISTER WHEN I BLESSED YOUR TIN-ROOF SHANTY. SO THAT'S WHY THAT GHOST KEEPS A-COMIN' TO THE WINDER! AFTERNOON. AFTERNOON. FLY AWAY, GHOSTIE! GO BACK TO YOUR HAUNTED CORNFIELD! REVEREND LOVEJOY? YOU DELIVER PIZZA NOW? WE DIDN'T ORDER A PIZZA. BUT YOU FORGOT THE PIZZA ANYWAY. MARGE, THE PIZZA PLACE SCREWED UP AGAIN! DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN I REMARRIED YOU TWO AFTER HOMER GOT THAT DIVORCE? LIKE IT WAS YESTERDAY. (HUMMING) KIRK AND LUANN SPLIT UP, SO HOMER, FEARING WE WOULD DO THE SAME, PRE-EMPTIVELY FILED FOR DIVORCE. BUT THEN YOU REMARRIED US, AND WE WERE AS SOLID AS EVER. AND I THINK APU GOT LUCKY WITH MY SISTER. (SIGHS) WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT JOYOUS OCCASION FELL DURING A TIME WHEN I WASN'T ACTUALLY A MINISTER. SINCE THAT TIME, YOU TWO HAVE NOT BEEN LEGALLY WED. YOU DON'T GET IT, PADRE. MY OLD LADY AND I HAVE A THING GOING ON. WE DON'T NEED A PIECE OF PAPER TO KEEP IT REAL. WE DON'T NEED A PIECE OF PAPER TO KEEP IT REAL. WHO ARE YOU CALLING AN OLD LADY? I NEED THAT PAPER QUICK! 1 SO, YOU AND MUM AREN'T MARRIED? IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL. WE'LL JUST GO TO CITY HALL AND GET MARRIED THERE. WE'LL JUST GO TO CITY HALL AND GET MARRIED THERE. I THINK IT'S ROMANTIC. YOU CAN PRETEND YOU'RE NEWLYWEDS STARTING A LIFE TOGETHER. YEAH, INSTEAD OF EXHAUSTED ZOMBIES RUNNING DOWN THE CLOCK. WHY, YOU LITTLE... (GROWLS)! THAT'S THE ANGRY ONE. UH-HUH. (GASPING) HMM. (MOANS) THIS ISN'T THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE TO GET MARRIED. SWEETIE, ANY PLACE I'M MARRYING YOU IS THE MOST ROMANTIC PLACE IN THE WORLD. WATCH YOUR BACK! HALF A CORPSE COMING THROUGH! WATCH YOUR BACK! HALF A CORPSE COMING THROUGH! (SIGHS) MARGE, THIS TIME I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU THE WEDDING YOU DESERVE. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE! WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! THAT'S THE LINE TO GET OUT. (GROANS) (HUMMING) AH! (PHONE RINGS) HELLO? HELLO? HELLO. IT'S ME, LANCE ROMANCE. YOUR FIRST MISSION IS TO LOOK OUT THE WINDOW. (GIGGLES) WHATEVER YOU SAY, LANCE. OH... (GRUNTS) WHOA! MARTY: THIS IS BILL AND MARTY SAYING, "MARGE, GO DOWN TO THE BASEMENT!" (CHUCKLES) (VIOLIN PLAYING ROMANTIC MUSIC) HOMER, WHAT'S GOING ON? THE VIOLIN, PANTS WITH A CREASE... WHY? MARGE, YOU DESERVE A WEDDING DAY THAT-- UNLIKE OUR CHILDREN-- WAS PLANNED IN ADVANCE. SO... WILL YOU MARRY ME IN STYLE? OH, YES, HOMER. YES! DID YOU HEAR THAT, SANTA? SHE SAID YES! YES! NOW, BACK TO YOUR COLD AIRLESS TOMB. SANTA (ROBOTICALLY): HO-HO-HO! OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL. BUT THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT TO PAY FOR A DRESS I'LL ONLY WEAR ONCE. MARGE, A WOMAN ONLY GETS ONE CHANCE AT A SECOND REMARRIAGE. THE CHOICE IS YOURS: YOU CAN LOOK LIKE A FAIRY PRINCESS OR A PIG WRAPPED IN RAGS. UH, A PRINCESS? UH, A PRINCESS? FINE. WE'LL DO IT YOUR WAY. THIS ONE'S A LITTLE GAY, ISN'T IT? THIS ONE'S A LITTLE GAY, ISN'T IT? WELL, THE LAST TIME I CHECKED, PIRATES WEREN'T GAY. EW. HOW'D YOU CHECK? CHECK OUT THIS ROCKET SHIP CAKE, MARGE. CHECK OUT THIS ROCKET SHIP CAKE, MARGE. THAT'S FOR A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY. WE'RE GOING TO GET THIS ONE. WE'RE GOING TO GET THIS ONE. MAYBE WE COULD BURY THE ROCKET SHIP INSIDE THE CAKE, AND THAT WOULD BE A BIG SURPRISE BECAUSE I'D FORGET ABOUT IT PRETTY QUICK. NO ROCKETS! YOU CAN PICK THE FROSTING. CHOCOLATE. CHOCOLATE. WE'LL TAKE LEMON. OKAY, I WANT WHITE ROSES AT THE ALTAR, RED ROSES ALONG THE AISLE, AND BLUE ROSES IN THE CENTREPIECES. THERE ARE NO BLUE ROSES. THERE ARE NO BLUE ROSES. I WANT TO TALK TO HOWARD. THERE ARE NO BLUE ROSES. I WANT TO TALK TO HOWARD. HOWARD DIED TEN YEARS AGO. WELL, DID HE TAKE ALL THE BLUE ROSES WITH HIM? WELL, DID HE TAKE ALL THE BLUE ROSES WITH HIM? MY FATHER WAS A LOVELY MAN. HE TOOK VERY GOOD CARE OF MY MOTHER AND ME. (BIRDS CHIRPING) ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE. I WANT EVERY TABLE TO HAVE TWO BASKETS OF BREAD, BUT ONLY ONE PLATE OF BUTTER. THAT WILL STIMULATE CONVERSATION. WHAT IF WE... WHAT IF WE... THERE IS NO "WE" IN "WEDDING." BUT THERE IS, MARGE! THE FIRST TWO LETTERS. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE RUINING THE SECOND THURSDAY BEFORE THE WEDDING! OH, HOMER! (GROANING) I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU TOLD LENNY AND CARL THEY COULD BRING DATES! 'CAUSE THEY'RE NOT EVEN COMING TO THE WEDDING! 'CAUSE THEY'RE NOT EVEN COMING TO THE WEDDING! WHY NOT? BECAUSE THEIR RSVP CARDS ARRIVED ONE DAY AFTER THE DEADLINE! MARGE, UH, MAYBE YOU SHOULD TAKE A BREAK FROM WEDDING PLANNING. I THINK YOU'RE BECOMING A... BRIDEZILLA. BRIDEZILLA? (GASPING) A COMBINATION OF "BRIDE" AND "GODZILLA"? HOW COULD YOU SAY THAT? MORE LIKE YOU'RE A KING WRONG! (GRUNTING) (SCREECHING ROARING) (ROARING) MM. (HUMMING) NO MATTER WHAT I DO, MARGE YELLS AT ME. IF SHE'S LIKE THIS NOW, WHAT WILL SHE BE LIKE AFTER WE GET MARRIED? OH... OKAY, OKAY, EVERYONE, BACK OFF! I WANT TO SEE MYSELF. A PIMPLE! NOT ON MY DAY, YOU DON'T! (GRUNTING) OKAY. IT'S GO TIME! DIM THE LIGHTS. CUE THE BAND. ("BRIDAL CHORUS" PLAYING) AND... RELEASE THE GROOM. HOMER, THAT'S YOU! WE ARE NOW 11 SECONDS BEHIND SCHEDULE! HOMIE! (SOBBING) (MARGE SOBBING) (PLAYING "WHEN THE SAINTS GO MARCHING IN") 1 (SOBBING) I CAN'T BELIEVE HOMER LEFT ME AT THE ALTAR. OH, MARGE, HAVE A SHRIMP PUFF. WIPE YOUR TEARS WITH A MONOGRAMMED NAPKIN. OH! I KNOW IT IS HARD, BUT SMILE FOR THE CAMERAMAN FROM GARY'S MAGIC MOMENTS. YOU HAVE MY DEEPEST SYMPATHY. (SNIFFLING) HOMER: WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT'S WITH ALL THE DARKNESS? HELLO? MARGE? WHERE AM I? WHERE AM I? (ELECTRICAL CRACKLING) (LIGHTS BUZZING) WHAT THE...? I'M CHAINED UP LIKE A COMMON BICYCLE! (GRUNTING) WHO WOULD DO THIS TO ME? IT WOULD HAVE TO BE SOMEONE WHO COULD AFFORD A CHAIN. DEEP VOICE (ON SPEAKER): YOU'RE GOING TO BE HERE A WHILE. BUT I HAVE TO MARRY MARGE! BUT I HAVE TO MARRY MARGE! AS OF NOW, YOUR PATHETIC LITTLE LIFE MEANS NOTHING. JUST SO YOU KNOW, YOU'RE MAKING A PRETTY BAD FIRST IMPRESSION. IT'S ALL MY FAULT. HOMER WANTED TO SERVE THOSE LITTLE COCKTAIL HOT DOGS. BUT NO... I HAD TO HAVE SPRING ROLLS! THEY TASTE LIKE NOTHING. I DON'T UNDERSTAND. DAD WOULD NEVER MISS AN OPEN BAR WITH CHICKEN WINGS. PLUS HE LOVES MUM, AND US, YADA, YADA, YADA. PLUS HE LOVES MUM, AND US, YADA, YADA, YADA. HEY, I FOUND SOMETHING! (GASPING) SIDESHOW BOB! SIDESHOW BOB?! HE RUINED THE WEDDING, GETTING HIS REVENGE ON US AT LAST! BECAUSE HE KNOWS THAT IF MUM AND DAD DON'T GET MARRIED, I'LL NEVER BE BORN! (DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS) (MARGE SIGHS, DOORBELL RINGS) I'VE GOT SOME WEDDING REGISTRY ITEMS FOR MRS. SIMPSON. I'M AFRAID I'M JUST... MS. SIMPSON NOW. OH, INTERESTING NUANCE. I'D LIKE TO HEAR MORE ABOUT IT, BUT, UH, COMPANY POLICY FORBIDS CHITCHAT. I MISS YOU SO MUCH. DEEP VOICE (OVER SPEAKER): TO REMOVE THAT CHAIN, YOU NEED THE KEY TO THE LOCK. YOU IDIOT! HOW AM I EVER GOING TO FIND THE KEY TO THE... OH, HERE IT IS. HUH? TO GET THE KEY, I HAVE TO LICK THROUGH A LOLLIPOP? OH, HOW AWFUL (!) OW! WHAT THE...? THE LOLLIPOP IS MADE OF HOT SAUCE. OH! WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU ON? (DEEP, MANIACAL LAUGHTER) (LAUGHING MANIACALLY) SIDESHOW BOB, DROP THAT KNIFE AND GIVE BACK OUR DAD! HUH? I'M WORKING ON A BUST OF KRUSTY AND USING THIS KNIFE TO AERATE THE CLAY. (EXCLAIMING) ANYONE FOR PEPPERMINT TEA? ANYONE FOR PEPPERMINT TEA? NOT FOR ME, BUT THE MONKEY NEEDS TO KEEP HIS STRENGTH UP. WE'RE GONNA DROP HIM OUT OF A BLIMP TOMORROW AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. WE'RE GONNA DROP HIM OUT OF A BLIMP TOMORROW AND SEE WHAT HAPPENS. (SQUEAKS) OH, DON'T WORRY. NOTHING'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO YOU, MR. TEENY NUMBER SEVEN. BOB, DID YOU TAKE ANY BREAKS YESTERDAY... TO KIDNAP OUR DAD? IMPOSSIBLE. I WAS WITH BOB THE WHOLE DAY. THEN WE WATCHED THE DELUXE DVD OF THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG. AT NIGHT, WE SLEPT IN THE SAME BED FOR WARMTH. THEN WE WOKE UP, HAD A LITTLE NOSH, WATCHED THE HOUSE OF SAND AND FOG AGAIN WITH COMMENTARY... THE DIRECTOR WAS AN ASS. THE DIRECTOR WAS AN ASS. FINE. BUT HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THIS? NICE OF YOU TO THINK OF ME. HOWEVER, "SB" COULD BE ANYONE. SCOTT BAIO, THE SULTAN OF BRUNEI, THE FORMER POLISH SECRET POLICE, THE SLUZBA BEZPIECZENSTWA. OR... (SLURPING) (SOBBING) (PANTING) (SLURRING): MARGE! I MISS YOU. (CRYING): OH, I MISS YOU SO MUCH. (SOBBING) WAIT TILL HE FINDS OUT THE KEY ISN'T A KEY, BUT JUST A HOTTER SAUCE. WAIT TILL HE FINDS OUT THE KEY ISN'T A KEY, BUT JUST A HOTTER SAUCE. (BOTH LAUGHING) HMM? HMM? (BOTH LAUGHING) I'M GONNA SAY THIS FOR THE LAST TIME. BART, IF THIS IS ONE OF YOUR PRANKS, VERY FUNNY. MM. MAYBE WE SHOULD LET HIM OUT SOON. MM. MAYBE WE SHOULD LET HIM OUT SOON. NOT TILL MARGE DUMPS HIM FOR GOOD. (FEEDBACK SQUEAL) HEY, LAME-O! READY FOR SOME... (DEEP VOICE): ...FUN WITH FIRE ANTS? WHAT'S FUN ABOUT FIRE ANTS? THEY'RE... OH, YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC. WOW, YOU'RE THE SMARTEST GUY IN THAT ROOM (!) THANK YOU, THAT'S VERY NI... OH. MORE SARCASM. JUST SEE THAT MY FIANCEE MARGE GETS THIS, MY WEDDING VOWS. "MARGE, I HOPE THIS DAY IS AS PERFECT FOR YOU "AS THE DAY WE MET WAS FOR ME. "YOU ALWAYS FIND THE ONE GRAIN OF SUGAR "IN THE SALT SHAKER THAT IS I. "WITH EACH MARRIAGE, I GET A LITTLE BETTER. MAYBE AFTER A THOUSAND, I'LL BE WORTHY OF YOU." I MISS YOU. I MISS THE KIDS. GOD HELP ME, I EVEN MISS YOUR SISTERS. (DEEP SOBBING) (SOBBING) POOR GUY! HE LOVES HER SO MUCH! EXCUSE ME, BUT I HAVE BEEN WAITING 45 MINUTES FOR YOU TO SLIDE MY LICENCE OVER TO ME. CLOSED! OKAY, YOU ARE HEREBY BANNED FROM MY STORE. YOU WILL HAVE TO SHOP AT THE KWIK-E-MART ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME. YOU KNOW, THE MUCH NICER, MUCH NEWER ONE. GOOD DAY TO YOU! MUM! MUM! WE KNOW WHERE DAD IS! HE'S RIGHT HERE. I'M NOT SURE WHAT HAPPENED. I WAS KIDNAPPED, THEN TORTURED, THEN I FELL INTO A SURPRISINGLY SOUND SLEEP. WHEN I AWOKE, I FELT REFRESHED. THEN I WAS BLINDFOLDED, AND TWO SOBBING TROLLS THREW ME OUT OF A VAN ONTO OUR LAWN. I'M JUST HAPPY YOU'RE BACK. NOW LET'S GET THAT CHAIN OFF YOU. WON'T IT DRY UP IN A FEW DAYS AND FALL OFF IN THE BATH? WON'T IT DRY UP IN A FEW DAYS AND FALL OFF IN THE BATH? OH, I'VE MISSED YOUR NONSENSE. NOW THERE'S NO EVIDENCE TO TIE US TO THE KIDNAPPING. AND WE'VE GOT A ONE-YEAR LEASE ON THAT TORTURE ROOM, SO MAYBE WE CAN PUT A TANNING BED IN THERE. SO MAYBE WE CAN PUT A TANNING BED IN THERE. (LAUGHING) (LAUGHTER CONTINUES THROUGH DOOR) HUH? HUH? WE KNOW IT WAS YOU, SELMA BOUVIER. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY): WOULD YOU KIDS LIKE COOKIES? LET YOUR AUNTIE PATTY MAKE SOME COOKIES. LET YOUR AUNTIE PATTY MAKE SOME COOKIES. WE DON'T WANT YOUR COOKIES. WHAT SHE MEANS IS, WE'LL EAT YOUR COOKIES LATER. IF YOU DON'T WANT US TO TELL OUR MUM WHAT YOU DID, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY. PAY? PAY FOR WHAT? ASK HER. SHE'S THE BRAINS. I'M THE THING THAT'S NOT THE BRAINS. HMM. AND WITH THE INKING AND APPLICATION OF THIS STAMP, YOU ARE OFFICIALLY MARRIED. NEXT. I'M SORRY, HONEY. I WANTED SO BADLY TO GIVE YOU A FANCY WEDDING. HOMER, ONE THING I'VE LEARNED IS THAT YOU DON'T NEED A FANCY WEDDING WHEN YOU'RE MARRYING THE MAN YOU LOVE. (ORCHESTRA PLAYING "WEDDING MARCH") (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) (GASPING) OH, JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED. A ROCKET SHIP WEDDING CAKE! JUST WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED! WE EMPTIED OUR 401(K)S FOR THIS?! ZOOM! ZOOM! OH, BLUE ROSES! YES. IT TOOK A LOT OF FRANTIC GENETIC ENGINEERING, BUT... ENJOY. (HISSING) (HISSING) (HUSHED): NO. YOU'RE A PLANT NOW. Captioned by Media Access Group www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2017 SHH!