(BOOM!) Oh. I know where you and I could find $100,000 on a good day. We're trying to steal the money before it gets in there, remember? We can just wait down there and let them bring the cash to us. How the hell are we gonna get down there, Wolf? Bloody parachute? Welcome to climbing school. This is James Bond shit. Yeah! You know there's no turning back with this, eh? How do you mean? With me. You're part of this family now. I need to know that you're OK with that. I'm so OK with that. (TENSE MUSIC) TED: First we enter the building next door. (RAM JAM'S 'BLACK BETTY') Then Lefty and Wolf descend to the courtyard below. (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) Now we play the waiting game. Bilkey has eyes on the depot. Bert follows the van and alerts the lads when the target's in the drop zone. The minute the guards are inside and out of sight of the security camera, the lads spring into action, reminding the old boys... BOTH: It's not your money. No need to be heroes. # Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam... They load up the van, Lefty follows the appointed route till they turn off.... (CHEERING) ...and join us at the shed. # The damn thing gone blind. Bam-ba-lam. # Wham, bam, thank you, security van. The money will be divided up at the shed, with Dario taking his 20%. Mr West, if you don't mind me saying, this plan truly is a thing of beauty. Just one thing I'm not 100% on ` what the fuck is Dario actually doing for his 20%? Fuck you, half a man. I bring you job. Plus, I am burying the van after. Why don't we just burn it, like we always do? This way, van is never seen again ` 'Mystery of the disappearing van'. Like Scooby Doo. How cool is that? Sounds like a lot of effort to me. Is no effort. Is fucking genius. Yes, very clever, Dario. And he did bring us the job, Lefty. OK, everyone knows what's happening, what they need to do? Right, go home, get some sleep, cos the day after tomorrow, Christmas is coming early, lads. (CHUCKLES) (TENSE MUSIC) (GENTLE MUSIC) Tell me you love me. What? You heard me. Why? Cos I want you to. What if I don't want to right now? So you'll say it later, then? Maybe. If I feel like it. It's good to know, though. What is? That you're one of those chicks that has to hear that stuff all the time. (CHUCKLES) What stuff? That I love you. Was that you saying you love me? No. Oh! Sounded like it to me. Oh, man, you are one of those chicks. No. (GIGGLES) No way. I'm just messing with you. Well, lucky I love you, then, eh? Lucky you do. So, you're sure the building next door will be empty when you break in? Mm-hm. And there's not a third guard who stays in the van with the cash? If there is, we haven't seen him. Well, what if there is, Ted? Settle down, Rita. We've gone over the plan a hundred times. It's foolproof. Yeah, but is it Doslic-proof? All they're doing is digging a hole. I think we can trust them to dig a hole. Well, just be careful that that hole doesn't become a grave. What? Trust the mastermind. Right, the mastermind. Well, right now, it's not your mind I'm interested in. (ROCK MUSIC) (MOANS) (KNOCK AT DOOR) (GROANS) Ted West! I need a word. Now? Yes, now. Please, come outside. You have many ears in there. I need this to be man-to-man. So, I've been thinking. Jesus, Dario, are you pissed? Pfft. No, no. We've been up all night talking, me and my boys. And we decided Lefty insulted us. So 20%? No good. Has to be 50. 50? For what? We're doing all the work; you're just burying a fucking van. Yes, for burying the van, but also for bringing you the job. (SCOFFS) And for Lefty being a prick. So 50%. This is bullshit, Dario. No arguments. My made is minded up. Take the deal or we'll do it without you. (DOOR SLAMS) Nothing. I just need to see Lefty, few last-minute wrinkles to iron out. That's strange ` normally, I like the smell of bacon in the morning. Come on, girls. Ted. Ngaire. Look, Uncle Mike, I got a Cabbage Patch doll from Daddy. And Chelsea got a Walkman. Bye, girls. Have fun at school. You can visit again soon. Daddy loves you. (SIGHS) First time I've seen them in months. Took a lot of negotiating, and not just with Ngaire. Uncle Mike needed to have his 5c worth. But the girls were happy. That's what counts. Well, they look happy, don't you think? Oh, yeah, yeah, walking on air. Listen, Dario wants to change the deal ` 50% instead of 20%. You're shitting me. You're not gonna let them get away with it, are you? Actually, I was thinking that maybe Dario's 20% is maybe too much. How much too much? About 20%. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) I can't believe the strap broke. I've only had them five minutes. Ugly little spud, isn't it? But the kids are all going crazy for them. I'll tell you what's ugly about it. I've been a cop for a long time, and I know a bribe when I see it. The doll, the Walkman ` he's buying their love. It's just his way. Lefty, for all his many, many faults, has always loved his girls, always looked after them. His girls? His girls? Are you including yourself in that? What? Well, are you still one of his girls? Of course not. Lefty's good at throwing his money around, but he's also good at throwing his dick around too. Do you miss having his money to throw around? Having him keep you in designer dresses and fancy shoes. Fancy shoes, as you can see, break. What I want now, and forever, is a good, solid, dependable pair of shoes. I've thrown my lot in with you, Mike. You're a great provider. And I love you to pieces. I'm sorry. I just wish we could move to somewhere where he isn't in our lives any more, like the Gold Coast. Just up and leave ` golden sands for miles, warm weather all year around, best police force in the world. Sounds lovely. I could sit by the pool drinking pina coladas all day, having moustache rides all night. (CHUCKLES) God knows I don't wanna spend the rest of my life working for Rita West. Well, maybe one day, Mr McCarthy. Maybe one day. I'll see you after work? (LAUGHTER) Is the chocolate mousse in the fridge? Yeah, it's in. I checked. A fine meal you've provided us with, Mrs West. Thank you, Eric. And Mr West, can I just say what a great honour it is to be given such a crucial role in your operation. Crucial? Yeah. All you have to do is pick up me and Phineas. Pretty simple. MOCKINGLY: Pretty simple. Oi, settle down, lad. It's not a race. Apologies, Mr West. This will give me the strength to be the anchor for Wolf so I don't drop him on his head. Falani! Why would you say that? Say what? Great, now we're all thinking about Wolf getting dropped on his head. You've got a big, fat mouth, Falani. You've bloody jinxed us. Don't say that! You'll jinx us by saying jinx. I didn't say jinx. She said jinx. Stop saying jinx! Everybody cool down. There is no jinx. It's just a stupid superstition. Yeah, and it's very bad luck to believe in superstition. (SPLIT ENZ'S 'DIRTY CREATURE') See you on the other side. All right, lads, let's do this. Good luck. Don't need it. # Got me in a vice-like grip. He said, 'One slip, you're dead.' # Dirty creature of habit. # Little horror here to stay. # Anyone in his right mind # would tell it to go away. # But the river of dread runs deep ` full of unspeakable things. The creature don't mess around. # I don't wanna mess with him. # I don't wanna sail, I don't wanna sail, # I don't wanna, I don't wanna sail tonight. # Dirty creature's got me at a disadvantage from the inside. # (OMINOUS MUSIC) You OK? Of course. Never bullshit a bullshitter, Cheryl. It's the price we pay ` the fear; never knowing when they step out that door if they're gonna come back. Shall I let you in on a secret? They always come back, the West boys. Well, except for that time Ted went to prison, right? For the Smith & Caughey's job. Wolf told me. That was different. What was it like for you on your own? I wasn't on my own. I had Wolf. (KNOCK AT DOOR, DOOR OPENS) Only me. Evening, Carol. Sparky. Mrs O'Driscoll. Cheryl, why don't you take Sparky and go and get some tonic? We'll be needing it for our gin. Why do I have to do it? Just take what you need from the tin, love. So, you know much about the job? I know we're not supposed to talk about it. I think it's cool they're stealing from a robot money machine. Right. That's how my dad died ` stealing from a security van. Yeah, I, um, got that a while ago, Sparky. (POP MUSIC PLAYS, BELL CHIMES) Grab the tonic. It's OK to nick stuff from your own dairy? I have no problem if you don't. That's stealing. Serves you right for leaving the counter unattended. You're the one who left us unattended. What? Nothing. It sucks with Mum being down in the Wairarapa and me having to do everything. I thought Mum was back from there. Jeanette wrote Wolf on her arm with a knife. Everyone freaked out, so she had to drive down. Jeanette goes off the deep end. Again. Meanwhile, I have to get up at 6am for the bread delivery and the bloody milk. You have to come back and help me. How about no? Does 'no' work for you? Bitch. I could help if you like. BOTH: Ew, no! I thought you didn't have any tonic. Oh, just sick of her moping and her doe-y eyes. Are you OK with taking Sparky back? Oh, sure. I'm used to his ways. It makes no difference. Good, because I've had a much better idea. I'm gonna buy a baby. Sorry? Buy a baby. This way I can even pick the colour to match me and Phineas. You good with the ropes? Almost. Ted West! How's the head? Nothing that Dalmatian coffee can't fix. Good coffee. So, I take it because you are here, you've accepted my terms? Well, you didn't give me much choice, did you? Yeah, 50 it is. But I haven't told the boys yet. I need their heads in the game. Wise. Wise. (CHUCKLES) UNDER BREATH: Cock. OK, boys, you're up. We shall not let you down as we let them down, if you know what I mean. Yeah, I got it. Thanks, Falani. Hey, um,... look after him, OK? Sure thing. Jesus, Falani, could you have stolen us a smaller bloody car? Did you pinch this from a midget? Mr West said to get something inconspicuous. Do you know what inconspicuous means? Sure, it means small, doesn't it? (GRUNTS) In the middle. (MEN GRUNT, COMPLAIN) I can't feel my cock. (SLOW ROCK MUSIC) Most of the babies you can buy come from China, but I just don't know if I want a communist baby, so that's why I'm veering towards South America ` like Poncherello off Chips. Imagine that. Me with a Mexican baby. Wow, you've really thought this through. Unfortunately, it is very expensive, what with all the bribes and everything. So, fingers crossed for tonight, eh? Fingers crossed. (DOOR OPENS) You took your time. Found an old bottle at the back of the cupboard. Uh-huh. So, pull up a seat, pour yourself a drink and join the gang widows. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, well, to be honest, I don't want to talk about it. But I thought you and Riana were great together. Yeah, but we're not, OK? Fine. Sorry for asking. Yeah, well, do I ask you about gay things? You can if you want. It's OK, I'm good. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Off home to the little lady, are you? What's that supposed to mean? Nothing. It's an expression, like goodnight or see you later. Those are both expressions of farewell. 'Off home to the little lady' is an observation. Like right now I'm observing that you're being a bit of a dick, Detective Constable. (TENSE MUSIC) Oh, girls, for heavens sake! Stop it! What? You know! No, I don't, stupid! Mum, she farts, and it stinks up the whole room! I do not fart! It's the room ` it smells funny. I do not need to hear about farts while I'm trying to cook dinner. Why do we have to share a room? Why can't we have a bigger house? Yeah, Mum, maybe we can all go live with Daddy. That is not going to happen. (HUFFS) (DOOR SLAMS) So, a guy walks into a bar with a pair of jumper cables around his neck. The bartender turns to him and says, 'Mate, I'll let you stay, but don't start anything.' Why did he have jumper cables? Well, jumper cables are for starting a car, but the barman was talking about starting a fight. Jumper cables would be most useful in a fight. You could use them to strangle or use them to pinch. Who pinches in a fight? Right, that's it. I'm making an executive decision. We're moving. RT: This is team Alpha. we're on the move, over. Yeah, roger that. Over. It has begun? It has begun. (CLICK!) Like father, like son eh? This is the worst part for us gang wives ` the waiting game, not knowing. Anything could happen. (GROANS) One time, Phineas came back covered in horse piss. The Avondale Racecourse job. Then there was the time Lefty pulled a muscle in his groin. Lefty's always pulling a muscle in his groin. In all seriousness, the job is a lot more physical than you'd expect. (PANTS) Shouldn't have had that third pudding. Remember when they all got hearing loss? Phineas was thinking the phone was always ringing, and then he'd pick it up and say, 'I can't hear anything!' WHISPERS: We don't talk about that job. Jesus. Look at the state of it. I'm having serious doubts you can handle this, Fat Albert. I can do it, Mr Lefty. I'm all good. It's just the stairs I have a problem with. Hey, I'm the one at the end of the rope, and I trust Falani with my life, OK? I won't let you down. Well, I will let you down the wall, but I won't fail to let you down. I mean I won't fail you. (PANTS) You ready? Yep. All good. (ACTION MUSIC) Whoa! Shit! Shut up! What are you doing? It's my hands. They're sweaty. It just slips. I have no control. You can't leave him halfway all night. You have to lower him down. (GROANS) Argh! (YELLS) (THUD!) (GRUNTS) (WHIMPERS, MOANS) You OK? It's my knee! Jesus. What the fuck are those clowns doing up there?! RT: The eagle has landed. Repeat, the eagle has landed. They're in? They're in. Yes! (CHEERING) You seem kind of pumped about this, Dario. Fuck yeah! Aren't you? A job's a job. Why do you care so much? Well, after Evan fucking Lace died, business has fallen to shit, so... Crime is the future, my friends. Crime is the future. You bet. (CAR CREAKS) Sweet as a nut? Close enough. Is it drugs? Nah, it's just a joint. It'll help you unwind. What if I get addicted? Jesus, man, it's dope. It's natural. You know, in fact many cultures use it as a painkiller and in mystic rituals. Painkiller? Mm. (GRUNTS, PANTS) (PANTS) Are you sure you're all right? I'm fine. You're the one who needs a doctor. What? To get your head examined. Why aren't you out playing the field? If I was a young bloke like you, I'd be out getting strange wool every night. Not interested. Cheryl's the one. Yeah, I thought Ngaire was the one. Great mother,... good wife and cook,... sensational in the sack. Why'd you let her get away? I didn't let her get away; she was stolen from me. Fuck. I broke my watch in the fall. You got one? Yeah. Good. Tell me when it's 6am. Why? Because you're on alarm-clock duty. Only a few hours, and it feels like an eternity, doesn't it? I told you waiting's the hardest part, so if you're not cut out for it, maybe you've chosen the wrong guy. He's not the wrong guy. But I'm the wrong girl. To you I'm just a little whore, right? Why don't you think Wolf and I are for life? Well, relationships are complicated and... Another time, maybe. How'd it go? How's Wolf? Is he OK? All is well. They're in position, and Wolf gave us the thumbs up. But I dropped Lefty. It's not my fault ` my hands are still hurting from the exploding wheelbarrow... lawnmower. I can assure you that Lefty is in one piece. The plan is on track, and Mr Phineas cannot handle his weed. Oh right. I see. Look at her. It's my sleeping beauty. Yeah, I'm gonna head downstairs. Me too. She's like a floating blossom on a sea of beauty. Oh, I'm gonna head downstairs too. I don't want her to see me like this. So, we're still doing this? I would've thought you would've headed down` I'm staying right here. And you better get used to it. You've got balls ` I'll give you that. Wolf told me that you and Ted were actually younger than me and him when you first hooked up. We fell in love. We didn't just 'hook up'. Yeah? Well, Wolf just told me this morning that he loves me. I'm here for the long haul, Rita. Time you two got going. Take your positions. (CAR DOOR CLOSES, CAR ENGINE STARTS) What if Lefty gets a delayed reaction and drops dead tomorrow? I've seen it with boxers. They take a punch, and then bam ` bite the big one. What's wrong with him? He's got the paranoids. From the grass we smoked. Dope? You got any left? Nah, it's all gone, sadly. Yeah, nice sticky buds they were too. I ruined everything! At least you didn't blow anyone's head off. You don't understand. I'm a Catholic. Guilt to us is agony. Looks like the old electric puha doesn't agree with you, mate. Hey, look, maybe you need something else to take the edge off. Anything's gotta be better than this. Oh, Papa Smurfs, the longer-lasting hit. (CHUCKLES) Just got them today. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY) What is this? Oh, don't you worry, Phineas. You just lie back... and enjoy the trip. Not thirsty? I prefer rum and coke. It's lolly water. I think I'll make a coffee. Carol's got the right idea ` not a care in the world. I can handle late nights. Can you? What about the worrying? You put on a brave face. I can respect that. But are you ready to be on the other side of the law for the rest of your life? I've got no love for the law. Really? It was the cops who decided my dad was guilty until proven innocent. Your father, the businessman? Yep. Ever wondered why my mum's always saying he's away on business? He's in Rimutaka. Why is he inside? Well, he went in on this import company, but it turns out they weren't paying any duty. Out of all those guys in suits, my dad was the only one that went down. Why just him? Cos he couldn't afford an expensive lawyer; cos he wasn't in the old boys' club. That's the system ` always need a scapegoat. Ruined him. Ruined us. (SIGHS) It's the reason why we have to live in a shitty little dairy. So what you're really saying is` The law can go fuck itself. (TRAFFIC NOISES) Lefty, wake up. It's 6. Argh, fuck! (STATIC CRACKLES) RT: Status update. Over. Yep, I hear you, Lefty. Over. In position. Ready to go. Lefty, can you repeat that? You're breaking up. Sorry, Ted, you're breaking up there. Can't hear ya. What is happening? The range on these things isn't great. What do you expect? They're made in Japan. The range was pretty fucking good last night. Yeah, well, the batteries are getting low. We've had them on all night. People are waking up, right? They're using their radios and TVs. There's a lot more interference during the day. So TV interferes with the radio? I need to get closer. Stay in contact. (SPEAKS FOREIGN LANGUAGE) (RAM JAM'S 'BLACK BETTY') The rabbit is out of the hutch. Repeat, the rabbit is out of the hutch. Copy? Over. Copy that. Hearing you loud and clear. Over. (GROANS) You sure you're all right? Don't worry about it. The rabbit is in the hole. Over. # Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. Black Betty had a child, bam-ba-lam. # The damn thing gone wild. Bam-ba-lam. She said, 'I'm worryin' outta mind,' bam-ba-lam. # The damn thing gone blind, bam-ba-lam. I said, 'Oh, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. # Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. # Stop right there! (DOOR SLAMS) (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) It's not your money! Don't be heroes! Drop the money! Fuck it! Argh! (GROANS) (YELLS) (GROANING, YELLING) (CLANG!) Argh! (LEFTY AND WOLF YELL, GROAN, GRUNT) All right! Enough fucking around! Let him go, and get down on your knees! Now, fuckers! I said get down on your knees! Now start stripping! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Coffee, John? Cheers. Dad said no guns. Well, fuckin' lucky I ignored him, wasn't it? Armed robbery, Lefty? Only matters if you're caught. Shit! Shit. (PANTS) I can't drive. My knee's buggered. You're gonna have to do it. Swap over, then. (HORN HONKS) Move it! You fuckin'... (GRUNTS) RT: We're rolling to your location now. Over. Don't waste any time getting here. Over. We're not here to fuck spiders, mate. Over. (TYRES SCREECH) Aren't they here yet? We're behind schedule. I think that's the least of our problems. Our Dalmatian friends ` do you think they've figured it out yet? Jesus, you drive like my grandmother. Just trying not to attract attention, remember? Right turn up here. This isn't the way to the meeting place. It is now. Change of plan. Your dad's orders. Make the turn. Nothing. I think you guys got ripped off. This acid stuff is a swizz. # Now... # my world is like a rainbow. I can hear a cock in ya. # Somebody loves me. HIGH-PITCHED: Eat us. Eat us. Eat us, Falani. (GIGGLES) # Somebody loves me. # My world is like a rainbow. # Stuff this. (MOANS) Hello, Phineas. Hey, babe. I was just telling Cheryl about our new baby plans. I think it's grouse news. You get to pick the perfect baby for you. Do you want some breakfast, Phineas? Yeah. Actually, I might go outside and get some fresh air. Yeah, fresh air's good. Oh dear. He does sometimes go a bit strange after a job. So I said, 'No way we're giving Dario 50%,' and your old man agreed with me. 'Fuck 'em,' he says, so here we are, fucking them. (TYRES SCREECH) Shit! Argh! Fuck! It's Dario! Fuck! Back! Back! Back! Neutral, man! Shit! Fuck! Come here, you son of bitch! (TYRES SCREECH) You've got my fucking money! Go, go, go! (TYRES SCREECH) Fuck you! Fuck you! Fuck! Fuck you, little bitch! Shoot at the bastards! Oh, with what?! Your gun! It's a slug gun, you idiot! For effect. Are you fucking kidding me?! Well, I wasn't gonna bring a real gun, was I? Not after what happened last time! Fuck you! I will fuck you... Fuck you! ...like a gypsy! Hey, where the fuck are you? Over. It's the Doslics ` they're on to us! Over! Fuck you, Lefty! Jesus. Dump the van. Fuck the money. (CAR HORN HONKS) Your asshole looks like punched lasagne! (CAR HORN HONKS) Whoa, whoa, whoa! (CAR HORNS HONK) (GRUNTS) (FEEDBACK WHINES) Shit. Alpha team, are you there? Over. # Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam. Whoa, Black Betty, bam-ba-lam... (TYRES SCREECH, BABY CRIES, WOMAN SCREAMS) # She's from Birmingham, bam-ba-mam, way down in Alabam', bam-ba-lam. Well, she's shakin' that thing. # Bam-ba-Lam. Boy, she makes me sing... # Stop the fucking van! Fuck! (CRASH!) Suck on that, you commie bastards! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! (GRUNTS) We've got to get this thing off the street. Oh, you think (?) We can't go to Bert's. That's the first place those Dally pricks will look. I know a place. It's not far. Do it. Have you heard? About your impotence problem? You just need to find the right farm animal for you, and I'm sure it'll happen. So funny I forgot to laugh (!) Nah, I'm talking about the security van heist. Two uniformed guards robbed of their uniforms and keys at gunpoint, then the crooks just drive off with the security van. Wasn't the last time we had one of these when Dougal Gibbs blew his head off? Messy business, so I heard. Didn't you fancy your mate Ted West for that? He is not my mate. It's strange we never got anyone for it. And sad for the family too. Left two kids behind, I hear. Detective Constable, don't you have anything better to do than standing around here speculating? I'm just saying, has anyone checked in on the Wests today? (PHONE RINGS) Oh, excuse me. Galleria second-hand goods. Fancy having lunch with your favourite detective today? Why? Is Magnum PI in town? (CHUCKLES) No, I can't. Rita called to say she's not coming in today. Really? She sick, is she? Didn't sound sick to me. Same stroppy cow, no bloody explanation. You know what? She left me in charge, so I can have lunch for as long as I like. That's my girl. I'll see you soon. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Behind a bloody dairy? That's your plan? It's off the street, out of view. What about whoever owns the dairy? I'll deal with them. Beggars can't be choosers, I s'pose. What about the gun? Yeah, I'll ditch it down a drain a long way from here. So what now? Figure out Plan C. And the money? We'll come back for it tonight. What are you doing? Mandy. Is this crime stuff? Did you steal that van? Is your mum home? What's it to you? Just answer the question. No. Good. Finally something goes our way. She's back tomorrow. All the time we need. To do what? None of your business. It is if you wanna park here. Who is this brat? Shut up. Mandy. She's Cheryl's little sister. Who will keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her. It'll cost you. What?! Otherwise I might accidentally ring Mum when you're gone. (SIGHS) How much? I want a root. You what? (LAUGHS) Well, you've rooted both my sisters. I wanna see what all the fuss is about. (SCOFFS) Yeah, I'm not gonna root you. Why not? What's wrong with me? Mandy, I'm with Cheryl. So? I won't tell her if you won't. Go on, give her one. I would if I was you. Ew! Dream on, old pervert. Hey! One kiss. That's it. Fair enough. I know you'll want to come back for more. Dream on. OK. OK, OK! Enough, enough! Jesus! Just make sure no one goes near the van. That includes you too. Yeah, yeah, whatever. And I've had better. (ROCK MUSIC) Ugh. My tongue feels like it's been mauled by a boa constrictor. Come on, lover boy. Let's ditch the gear and find somewhere to lie low. (MUSIC CONTINUES) Stay there. Keep eyes in case the Doslics turn up. Honk the horn if you see them. Yes, Mr West. I'll wait in the car, Mr West. Oh, it'll be my pleasure, Mr West. Oh, you want me to toot the horn, Mr West? Whatever you want and three bags full, Mr fuckin' West. Are we OK? Not even close. Where's Wolf? Why isn't he here? Yeah, Ted, where's my son? OK, everything didn't go totally according to plan, but everyone's safe. I think. What, you think? There was a communication issue ` nothing to panic about. We just had to change the plan a little bit. Why the change? The Doslics. Well, I won't say I told you so. Well, you kind of just did. Who's here? You mean of your mob? Yeah. Eric and Falani are downstairs. Phineas is out the back. OK. Good. Why good? In case the Dallies turn up. Let them come. We'll be ready. But Ted, where is Wolf? Yeah, where is he? I have no idea. I don't know about this. Gotta use the phone. What about our overalls? Just a couple of workmates dropping in for a beer after a night shift. Get 'em in. You have no idea where the money is, you have no idea where the van is, you have no idea where Wolf or Lefty are, and now we are at war with the Doslics? That about covers it. Apart from that, everything went to plan. Oh, yes, well, if the plan was to cock things up on a monumental level, then, yes, everything has gone to plan. Fucking excellent work, Ted (!) OK, so what are we gonna do? Shouldn't you be out there looking for Wolf? Actually, yes, for once I do agree with Blondie ` why aren't you out there looking for Wolf? Because, remember, there's a group of angry Dalmatians hunting me! Oh, right. So it's all about you, is it? Yeah, get off your arse! Don't you talk to my husband like that! That is my job. Ted, you get off your arse, and you look for Wolf! All right. Just calm down, all right? (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) Cock in ya! (GASPS) I ate them. I ate all the chicken. They screamed as I ate them, but I ate them until there was no chicken left. Right. Ted, our son is out there, and you are doing nothing about it! (PHONE RINGS) Wolf will be fine! He's with Lefty! Well, I'm sorry if that does not fill me with confidence! West Residence. Lefty's a fucking prick who only looks after himself. OK, all right. Just calm down, all right? Ted? Oh, don't tell me to calm down, Ted! We should calm down? Why are you not more concerned?! You put his life at risk! I am concerned! Everything's under control! Ted?! Like fuck it is! Not now, Carol! But it's Lefty. Lefty? Today went to hell in a handbag, but trust yours truly to save the day. Where the hell are you? Wolfie and I are at a pub. They're at a pub. (SIGHS) Status update. Status ` everything's just peachy. We've stashed the van out of sight, safe, for now. Safe? Where? Out the back of a dairy, a little firecracker called Mandy keeping an eye on it. Mandy? Mandy? What about Mandy? They've stashed the van at a dairy. Someone named Mandy's looking after it. My Mandy? At our dairy? No, no, it can't be there. That's my place. My mum, she can't be involved in this. So what happened to 'the law can go fuck itself'? Bit different when your family's on the line, isn't it? They have nothing to do with this! You two, enough! Where's the money, Lefty? Still in the van, safe and sound. Wolf? Can I speak to Wolf? Yeah, can you put my son on the phone? We just wanna make sure he's OK. No worries. WHISPERS: Oh shit. 'Oh shit'? What shit? Cops are here. UNDER BREATH: Shit, shit, shit. What fucking cops? West Junior. Well, well, well. I think you've got me confused with someone else, officer. WHISPERS: Shit. Lefty, what the fuck is going on? I know for a fact you're not 20, Wolfgang West. I am. I swear. Oh, bugger me, I left my ID at home. Right, you're coming with me, then. Shit. Lefty, are you capable of saying any thing other than 'shit'? (GRUNTS) What the fuck? What the fuck? What 'what the fuck?' What is going on? Lefty! You're in a lot of trouble, boy. Yeah, well I'll tell Cheryl you said hi when I'm in bed with her tonight. Detective? He tossed these. Get him in the wagon. Not so tough now, are ya, Wolfie? Lefty! We need to know what's happening. Talk to me. They got Wolf. Lefty! What's happened? It's the cops. They got Wolf. (TENSE MUSIC) WHISPERS: Fuck. RITA: If he goes away, when it could've been avoided, I will tear it all fucking down and I will take people with me. Someone's got the money. Where's Lefty? (HORN HONKS LOUDLY) (SIRENS WAIL) Round the back! Fuck! Yeah! So this is the deal. This is how it has to play out. You don't even care about him, do you? You don't give a shit! That is my son that you are talking about!