1 1 Ugh! (BUG BUZZES) (NECK CRACKS) Ah. (BUG NECK CRACKS) Hmm. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, that's it! Spindle, tail light! (SPINDLE BUZZES) Argh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! Ugh! Hey! Hey! (SNORES) What? What do you mean, what? Ow! Hey! Hey, what are you doing? Um, yeah! This is sleeping chamber! Go to sleep! Don't make me come up there! I'm so sorry, but I must have the final ingredient for my potion. Now, what's more important? Me completing my life's work for the salvation of the colony, um, which includes you guys, or your sleep? Um, sleep! I'm going with sleep. Yeah, the second one. Well then, I shall try to be very quiet. (SPINDLE BUZZES) Clacktiel. That's it! I'm coming up there! Oh-ho! Argh! Fire crystals! (LAUGHS) (SPINDLE BUZZES) At last! The final ingredient! (HUMS) I'm on vacation. Ugh! Ugh. No! No! Cut it out! Dogpile. (KIDS) Dogpile. (KIDS SHOUT) (ANTS SHOUT) It's the Destroyer! (SHOUTS) (ANTS SHOUT) (SQUEALS IN PAIN) Atomic wedgie! (RIP!) And a clean break. (KIDS CLAP / CHEER) Yeah! Alright! Excellent wedge. Whoo hoo! Come on, man, I'm running out of underwear. What are you gonna do about it, huh? Nothing. Because I'm big and you're small. (KIDS LAUGH) Yeah. Because he's big and you're small. Hey! Ow! Quit repeating everything I say. I was just adding emphasis. (LAUGHS) Ow! Man, why you gotta be hating? (GASPS) '(RUMBLING)' Destroyer. (ANTS SHOUT / SCREAM) (ANTS CONTINUE TO SHOUT) Zoc? Argh! Water! Argh-ha-ha! Zoc. Hova, please, get to the grass. It's dangerous up here. But I've always wanted to see a human up close. I hear they're capable of speech, like us. They are nothing like us! (ANTS SCREAM) (GASPS) Whatcha gonna do about it, ants? Nothing. Cos I'm big and you're small. Away, monster, or I will use my powers to destroy you. Powers that I have yet to perfect. Run! (ANTS SCREAM) (ANTS GROAN) Ugh! 'Hello.' We mean you no harm. Oh, great(!) Shoe! Shoe! Oh! Please, go in peace. Look out! (ANTS SCREAM) Oh! Argh! (ANTS SHOUT) 'Oh, look out!' Oh. Are you alright? I... I guess he didn't hear me. 'Lucas.' Peanut, it's time to come inside now. (ANTS GASP) Peanut. Huh. I think I might have gotten through to him. What do you think? Destroyer. Tiffany, Lucas, we're leaving now. (GAME BEEPS) Lucas? All the numbers are on the fridge. (GAME) 'Good one. Extended play.' Lucas. What are you doing back there? Why didn't you answer? (GASPS) Are you alright, sweetie? I'm fine. I was just playing with my friends. (SIGHS) I don't know. Maybe we shouldn't go on vacation. Come on, it's our big wedding anniversary. We're going to Puerco Vallarta. And I gotta spend a little quality time with the mamacita. (SINGS) Don't cancel your vacation just because of me. I can solve my own problems. (GASPS) Problems? What problems? Does it have anything to do with why I can't find your underwear? No! Bed-wetting is nothing to be ashamed of, Peanut. What?! Just stop it, Mom! I don't have any problems except for you treating me like a baby. (GASPS) Peanut. And stop calling me that! Just go away and leave me alone. (GAME BEEPS) Ouch! I, Zoc, call upon the elements. The wind that blows, rain that falls, fire that burns. Deliver your awesome power and transform my potion. Clacktiel! (FARTY NOISE) (APPLAUSE) Yeah! That was great, sweetie. I loved the smoke effects. Didn't you, Spindle? (SPINDLE BUZZES) Kraznocks! You... ugh... rock! Curse upon your children. Hmm. I don't think rocks have children, honey. (SMASH!) They won't now. OK. What's the matter? The potion is supposed to change colour. It's not changing colour. It's not changing colour! I call upon the elements, wind, rain, et cetera! Transform my potion and clacktiel! (FARTY NOISE) Argh! Clacktiel, clacktiel! Clackity clack! Oh, maybe you're pronouncing it wrong. How could I pronounce it wrong? I made it up. (SIGHS) Take a break. Hova, perhaps you didn't notice, but we were almost squished today and the colony is in shambles. I am this close to finding a solution to the human problem and you tell me I need to... Hova, what are you doing? Nothing. No. I'm not doing anything. Wait. No. I'm simply walking towards you. Whoa. No reason to panic. Hova. No reason to panic. Wait! I'm just coming towards you! Hold on! Wah! (LAUGHS) Does that tickle? What about when I do this? (LAUGHS) Why are you laughing? Don't make me clacktiel you. (LAUGHS) Well, I'm glad you two have something to laugh about. Argh! Head of Council. Hi. How nice of you to, um... It was unexpected. Forgive me. I was working on an experiment. Oh, yes, I see. Well, we were - (CLEARS THROAT) How may I be of service? Zoc, attacks from the Destroyer grow more frequent. Our food supplies are now desperately low. The council was hoping perhaps you might have a solution. Fight back. We must stop the Destroyer. But thousands of ants would needlessly die. Perhaps if we could communicate, you know, just talk with the human. Oh, what a great idea(!) Let's have a nice chat(!) Well, hello, Destroyer. Gee, you look kind of tired. Why don't you just rest your feet on my girlfriend? OK, OK. Sometimes you're a real stinkbug, you know that? Zoc,... ..a war with the human is... It's impossible. A wizard knows no such word. Adios, mi familia. Whatever. Bye, Tiff. Bye, Lucas. I love you. Hmm. You kids mind your grandma. OK, goodbye. Have fun. Don't worry, everything's under control. (LAUGHS) A little help, please. I think it's your turn. Teeth in the grass. (SIGHS) Um, Mommo, here's your... What are you doing? Preventing alien abduction, that's what I'm doing. Thank you. (SPITS) Dang crabgrass. (CONTINUES TO SPIT) See these? Airflow. Aliens hate airflow. (LAUGHS) Drives 'em nuts. If they try to cut the power in the middle of the night... Beep! Beep! (CLANG!) These babies will wake me up. We gotta be prepared. Tell your friends. I don't have any friends. Well, who's gonna look out for you when you get old and your teeth are falling out and them aliens are after you? Lucas. I'll look after myself. (SIGHS) Good night, Mommo. Good night. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. Or creep into your ear and lay eggs in your brain. (KIDS SHOUT / LAUGH) (BELL RINGS) (SIGHS) (BANG!) Argh! Ooh! Dance, Pukas. (LAUGHS) Dance, monkey boy, dance! Think fast. Argh! (LAUGHS) (KIDS LAUGH) (SIGHS) Ugh! Ugh! (SPINDLE BUZZES / SQUEAKS) Clacktiel. (FARTY NOISE) Krashnas! You... Argh! Oh! Zoc, please, not in front of Spindle. (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Oh, sorry. Argh. God, there must be something I missed. Wait. A crack. That's it! Imperfections in the crystals. Perhaps coating it in a viscous compound. Spindle. (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Resin. (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Clacktiel. Oh! Oh, that's it. It worked! The potion is complete! (LAUGHS) (SPINDLE BUZZES) Praise the Mother! Yes! (LAUGHS) Yes! Yes! Argh! No! (COUGHS) Oh! Ugh! Zoc. Hova, hang on! Spindle, get the potion. Quickly! Argh! Argh! (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) (HUMS) Huh? (ANTS SCREAM) Argh! Argh! Whoa! Argh! Waterfall! (ANTS SCREAM) Hello. Argh! (LAUGHS) Yep, I was about your age when I flooded my first colony. (LAUGHS) Brother, those were good times. Good times! Um, who are you? Stan Beals is the name. Beals-A-Bug Pest Control. Exterminator, eradicator, solver of problems. (LAUGHS) Hey, you must be the Nickle boy, right? Now, your dad ordered my services but he forgot to sign the contract before he left. Busy man. A lot on his mind. It happens. So he just told me to talk to you, um,... um... Lucas. Yeah, Lucas. He said, 'You have my son, Lucas, sign the contract for me if I happen to forget to before I leave. He's a grown man now.' His exact words. Hmm. I don't know. Do you have any references? References? Argh! (FLY SCREAMS) There's one. (LAUGHS) I don't think I should. You don't think you should, huh? You don't think?! So who does your thinking for you? Your mommy? Mommy, Mommy, Mommy, what do I do? I'm just a little baby that can't think for myself. (GASPS) Please wipe my little bottom for me. Wipe me. Oh, oh, please, wipe me. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah! Give me that stupid contract! Yes, sir. A very mature decision. # Enjoy a world that's entirely bug free # Just sign right here # And leave the killing to me # I wrote that. (BOTH COUGH) Oh. Are you alright? I'm fine. Spindle? Spindle! (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Spindle! (LAUGHS) You saved it. Well, come here. Someone's getting an extra mouldy root tonight. (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) (LAUGHS) OK, OK. Zoc. (GASPS) (SPINDLE BUZZES) Spindle, light. (GROANS) (GASPS) Mother, help us. Oh, no. To attack without provocation, without reason,... ...just because they can, it's... it's... it's barbaric. (SIGHS) But what can we do? We are lost. No. We are saved. This is our salvation. (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) A potion? What exactly... does it do? (THUNDER RUMBLES) (WIND WHOOSHES) (GAME) Ribbit. (GROANS) (GAME PLAYS MUSIC) (GROANS) Ribbit. (GAME PLAYS MUSIC) (GROANS) (THUNDER RUMBLES) Ribbit. (GAME PLAYS MUSIC) (THUNDER RUMBLES) (THUNDER RUMBLES) (GASPS) Argh! (BREATHES DEEPLY) (SIGHS) Argh! Huh? (THUNDER RUMBLES) (GAME PLAYS MUSIC) Argh! Frogflyers. Argh! Argh! Ugh! Whoa! Argh! Argh! Argh! Hey! Hey, hey! Argh! Whoa! Argh! Ugh! Oh! Oh! Argh! (PANTS) (THUNDER RUMBLES) Human! Argh! Come with us. (THUNDER RUMBLES) Argh! (ALARMS BLARE) Argh! Argh! Oh! Argh! Argh! Shoo. Shoo! Get away! Get away! I got a fan. I'm windy. Ooh. I am windy. Hello? Hello? Hello? Scanning. Scanning. Scanning. Argh! Argh! Stop! Hey, come on! Cut it out! What are you doing out of bed, tiny Lucas? Argh! (THUNDER RUMBLES) Argh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! (THUNDER RUMBLES) Who are you? What did you do to me? Let me go! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Whoa! Wah! Oh! Ugh! Argh! Argh! Gross! Argh! Hey, cut it out. Argh! Argh! (CREATURE GRUNTS) Argh! (CREATURE SCREAMS) Argh! Argh! Argh! (CREATURE SCREAMS) Put me down! Hey! Stop. Put me down! Whoa! Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Whoa! Whoa! Argh! Put me down! Oh! (SIGHS) What is that? Oh, he smells. (GASPS) It's the human. It's Peanut, the Destroyer! (ANTS GASP) Oh, my! (BABY BABBLES) Alright, Peanut, this way. It's small. What is it? Touch it. Ugh! Don't touch it. Hey. Poke it. Argh! He's so soft. Blah! His skeleton is on the inside. He's inside out? (ANTS GASP) (GONG GONGS) Argh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh! (ANTS CHATTER) Where are you taking me? Help! Who are you? What did you do to me? Let me go! Ugh! (PANTS) Human,... ..you have been brought before the council... ..to face judgment for crimes against the colony. (ANTS SHOUT) Read the charges. 'This human-destructor beast, hereafter referred to as Peanut the Destroyer, did wilfully and with malice aforethought crush the food-storage chambers, flood all of the lower hatching chambers, and douse the colony with the dreaded yellow rain.' (ANTS SHOUT) Hey, come on, I had to go. (GAVEL CLANGS) Sentencing of the human will be handed down by the queen herself. Greetings, my children, and to our unusual guest, a human that threatens the very existence of our colony. Wait a second! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait! Time out. How was I supposed to know ants had feelings or families or trials? You're just a bunch of stupid ants. (ANTS SHOUT) Destroy the Destroyer! Throw him in the pit! Let's eat him! No! Wait! We are not mindless savages. This human should be studied. And then we'll eat him. Yeah! (ANTS) Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Eat! Order. Order! (GAVEL CLANGS) Be still, be still. Tonight, we have a choice. We could destroy this human and make safe this day. Or we could change the nature of this human... ..and perhaps create a brighter future for all ants. I therefore sentence the human to live and work in the colony to learn our ways. He must become an ant. (ANTS MURMUR) (BOTH) What? No. No, my queen. Um, what if he does not become an ant? (CHUCKLES) OK, I mean, come on. That would be regrettable. (GULP!) But... But who will teach him our ways? I will. (ANTS GASP) Hova? It is done. Let us continue our work. That's it? How long am I gonna be like this? I wanna go home! Wait. This is inhuman. Yes, it is. Hello, Peanut? Destroyer? Hello? We have to go. It's time to start your training. (PANTS) Where are you? (PANTS) OK, OK. It's simple. All I have to do is run past the guards, then escape the anthill and not get eaten by anything. Well, hello, there. Argh! You know, there's a million things I wanna ask you. When were you hatched? Are you male or female? And how do you tell the difference? Is it... Oh, is that how? Argh! Hey, stop peeking. Or... or I'll stomp on you. Oh, uh-huh. Well, I wouldn't if I were you. You see, I'm the only friend you've got. Argh! You're gonna eat me! You know, now that you mention it, you do look soft and chewy, but I promised the queen I wouldn't. Um, cross your heart. What? Oh, alright. Cross my heart, I will not eat you. I said, cross your heart, not your butt. I just did. See? There, did it again. Strange custom. I'm still not going. Peanut, you need to - My name's Lucas, not Peanut! Lucas. Well, Lucas, you heard the queen. You must become an ant if you ever want to return home. How am I supposed to do that? Well, you just have to find your place in the colony. So, Lucas, do you have any special skills? Um, I can make milk come out of my sister's nose. OK, well, let's try foraging. The instructor is a friend of mine. I'm sure she'd love to help. Peanut? The Destroyer? I had to move out of my nest because of you. I lost everything. Took me all morning to rebuild. Hova, don't tell me that you are mentoring this... this... this... Ugh! It's Lucas. (ANT GIGGLES) Why is he covered in trash? Is he crazy? Cos I don't teach crazy ants. No, no, no. He calls the trash clothes. They like keeping their gender traits hidden. (He's male.) Mmm-hmm. OK, Lucas, you're on the blue team. (ANTS LAUGH) Oh, man! That's not fair. Hey, hey, hey, quiet. And suck in that thorax. Like everything in the colony, foraging is a team effort. In this test, each team must act as a single unit to avoid obstacles, retrieve the sweet rock and return to the nest. No ant gets left behind. First team back wins. Any questions? Yee haw! Oh! Oh! Hello, baby. Fugax. Well, isn't it true that scout ants, such as myself, lead an exciting life of adventure and intrigue? Ruff! (GASPS) Fugax! While foragers such as you... ..just walk around and pick up sticks. Argh! (ANTS LAUGH) Questions, anyone? Oh, sir? Sir? The guy with the crooked mandibles. What kind of adventures? (CHUCKLES) Well, I'm glad you asked. Fugax. Gather round, young scouts. In my travels, I have journeyed far beyond the great flat rock. (ANTS) Ooh! You mean, the street? Um, no! The great flat rock... ..where the humans ride in their giant metal cocoons! (ANTS) Ah! Cars. Did I call on you? Who invited Captain Party Pooper? Fugax, meet the Destroyer. Destroyer? Boo. Argh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Now, are there any other - Argh-ha-ha-ha! (SIGHS) Are there any other questions about your assignment? Yeah, what's a sweet rock? Go! (ANTS SHOUT) (ANTS CONTINUE TO SHOUT) Bridge. Stack up. Bridge, hoo-yah. Come on, Peanut. Hello, I can do it myself. (ANTS) Yahoo! Hey, guys. I think he's dead. I'm not dead. Ladder. (ALL) Ladder, hoo-yah. Come on. Grab hold. (ANTS CHATTER) I don't need your help. Argh! I need your help! I need your help! Bye, losers. (LAUGHS) Come on! (ANTS CHATTER) (SIGHS) Whoa! Yahoo-hoo-hoo! Alright! Hurry, human! You're gonna make us lose. Hey. I've only got two legs. (LAUGHS) Go, Two Legs, go. Go, Lucas! Spring. (ANTS) Spring, hoo-yah. Hoo-yah. (ANTS CHATTER) Oh, time out. I don't think I can do this... Alright! Whoo hoo! Whoa! Let me off! Don't let go! I'm gonna be sick. Don't let go. I'm letting go. (ANTS) Don't let go! Ugh! Argh! He let go. Argh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! A jellybean? Alright, Lucas. Good thinking. (ANTS) Slingshot, hoo-yah. (ANTS SHOUT) (ANTS GROAN) Alright, Lucas. Yeah, good job. Yeah, Peanut, you rule. Yeah, come on. Let's go! Good job, Lucas. Did we win yet? Almost. We just have to get the sweet rock over the finish line. (ANTS SHOUT) Come on, we can do this! (ANTS CHATTER) Yeah, right(!) Come on, Peanut! Hurry, Lucas, climb the wall. Climb fast, Peanut. (GROANS) They're catching up. Bye-bye, loser. Climb the wall! (LAUGHS) (ANTS CHATTER) Come on. Come on! (ANTS SHOUT) Oh, forget it. This game is rigged. Ladder. (ANTS) Hoo-yah. Come on. Let's go. Go, go, go. Go, go, go, go, go! We got it. We go it. Yeah, man. Alright. Red rules. (HORN BLOWS) Red team wins. (ANTS CHEER) Alright. We did it. (ANTS CONTINUE TO CHEER) Whoo! Whoo, whoo! Thanks for trying. (SIGHS) (BUG SCREAMS) Lucas, you did fine, really. You just need to discover the ant within. Start by visualizing yourself with six legs. Then- How's that gonna get me home? Look at me! I'm not a stupid ant! Lucas, being an ant means more than just having six legs or lifting ten times your own weight or walking vertically up a wall. It's being part of a colony. Not always thinking of yourself first. Oh, careful! Argh! Hey, don't touch me. I'm trying to help you. You think this is easy for me? Being the Destroyer's little helper? So you worry about you, and I'll worry about me! Oh, Lucas. That's not the way ants are. Oh, Hova, that's the way I am. Well, if I could just... (ODD NOISE) (GASPS) Just what? Hello? Earth to ant lady. You were right in the middle of sounding like my mom. They're coming. Run! Argh! Hey. Hey! What's wrong? Wah! Argh! Ugh! Argh! Argh! Whoa. They're after the herd. What herd? (CREATURE GROANS) Whoa, easy, girl. Easy. (BUZZING) Argh! Take cover. Tell the queen I love her! Oh, we're cut off. (ANTS SHOUT) (INSECTS BUZZ) Come, brothers, for queen and colony! (ANTS SHOUT) (ANTS CONTINUE TO SHOUT) Oh! Argh! Get to the grass. Attack formation. Load them up. Ugh! Enemy fire. Watch your wing! Watch your wing! Ha! Now, that's gotta sting. Nice shot. Oh! Ugh! My turn. Thanks. Where's Hova? I don't know. Argh! Come on. Argh! To your positions. Ready. Squirt. (ANTS SHOUT) Don't. Please, I was just following orders. Argh! Oh! Who wants magic? Clacktiel. Ha-ha! (CREATURES GROAN) (LAUGHS) (GASPS) Argh! You look tasty. Leave him alone! (ROARS) (SCREAMS) Hova? Oh, quick, get out of my way. Move! Hova! Hurry! Everyone, into the grass. Don't just stand there! Help her! (GASPS) Lucas, run! What are you doing? (GASPS) (GASPS) (GASPS) Everyone, into the grass. Argh! (PANTS) (GROWLS) (GASPS) (SIZZLE!) Ow! (PANTS) Where are you,... little bug? Argh! (PANTS) Argh! (PANTS) Ugh! Oh! Huh? Please, hurry up. Light, light! (ROARS) Light, light! Argh! Oh! Ugh! Argh! Argh! (ROARS) Hova, get down. Oh. Zoc! No! (SCREAMS) No! Argh! Stop! hey! No, no! Argh! Argh! Argh! Ugh! Argh! (ROARS) Fire in the hole! (ROARS) What was that? It's bath time. Retreat. Argh! Oh! Argh! Ow. Ugh! (INSECTS BUZZ) They're leaving. We... we won. (ANTS CHEER) All hail, the Destroyer! (ANTS) Peanut! Peanut! Brilliant! Genius! I mean, Lucas made a boom! And then... buzz, buzz, buzz! They all flew away. And now I know why they call you Peanut. He's got a brain the size of a peanut! Lucas the Destroyer. Ha. I take back everything I thought about you. You saved us. Thank you, Lucas. Um, yeah, sure. Oh, yeah! Yeah! He saved us! Oh, it's so obvious! I was so dumb. Praise the Destroyer(!) Wake up! He saved himself! The rest of us just... Just got in the way. Oh. Zoc! Oh! (COUGHS) Oh, are you alright? No, I'm - Let me see. What happened to you? I'm fine. I'm fine. (GASPS) You're hurt. No, it's nothing, really. Zoc, do you have any yucca sap? Lucas has a burn. Poor baby. This is our enemy! They do not save ants, they kill ants. He very nearly killed me. (SIGHS) Or does that not matter to you? (SINGS) # I do, you do. # We all like the honeydew. # Dinner is served and I'm the dessert. And I'm on a low-fathead diet. And you know, it looks good on you. (SIGHS) So, Lucas, what are you working on? Glasses. Mmm! This is some good honeydew. Oh, Lucas, you have to try some. It's so good. (SNIFFS) (LAUGHS) Go ahead. This is awesome! Tastes like green-apple bubble gum! That went away quick. Another round for ya? Oh, yeah, keep it coming. (CHUCKLES / WHISTLES) (CREATURE GRUNTS) (HUMS) (CREATURE GRUNTS) Mmm, mmm, mmm! Get it while it's hot. Oh! Argh! Whoa, I didn't know humans could change their colours. Trippy. Perhaps our young pupa ate too much honeydew. (MOANS) (STOMACH GURGLES) Oh. Argh. Oh. Hmm. Here, eat this. It'll make you feel better. (MOANS) What did that come out of? It's an alka root. Zoc discovered its powers to expel evil and create well-being. He is a great wizard. (GROANS) Yeah, he hates me. Whoa, he really does, doesn't he? I mean, he hates your guts. It's actually amazing how much he hates your guts... OK, I'm sorry. Yes, Zoc has anger issues, especially towards humans, but he's a true ant. Hard on the outside, but soft on the inside. Just give him time, Lucas. Oh. (STOMACH GURGLES) (GASPS) (BELCH!) (BELCH ECHOES) (BELCH CONTINUES TO ECHO) Praise the Mother. Whoa-ho! Praise the Mother. Ah. Thanks. (BURP!) Who is this mother you keep talking about, anyway? Is it the queen? No, Lucas, the Ant Mother. The queen of queens. She gave birth to the first colony. To all ants. Come on. It's time for you to see. (CREATURE GROANS) This is the Chamber of the Ages. Wow. What are these? They tell the story of our colony, our history. These are pretty cool. This is the image of the Ant Mother. Whoa. It is said that one day she will return... ..and honeydew will pour from the sky like rain. Then we will never go hungry again. Um, so you actually want warm poop to fall from the sky? Yes! That would be a blessed day. (SNIFFLES) I'm sorry, it's just so beautiful. Hey, what's that one? It's the evil one. The Cloudbreather. It is ancient, drawn before our time. No-one knows for sure what it is, except that death is said to follow it. I think it's just a story used to scare naughty pupas into behaving. (CHUCKLES) No, the exterminator. I... I gotta cancel him. I gotta go home now! But you're not an ant yet. Just a quick visit. No way, Two Legs. The humans' nest is strictly forbidden. Well,... um, the colony needs food, right? Food? Yeah, sweet rocks. My house is filled with them. In assorted colours and flavours. Assorted flavours? Even the greenies? Well, you'll be needing a scout. Nu-uh. No. There is no way you're gonna get me - I'm in. Come on! (SIGHS) Better be some red ones. Wow, this is a big nest. It must have taken thousands of humans to build this. What's that? It's just the door. A door? Fantastic! Do all of your guests pass under this door? Well, actually, you guys are the first friends I've had over. We are the first ones? Kreela, we're the first ones to pass under the door. Great. And to think... ..all of this is made from your own poop. (SNIFFS) Nice. Oh, why did Mom have to get shag carpet? It'll take days to get to the kitchen. Oh, gee, that is too bad (!) I guess now we'll have to go home before we all get in trouble. Hmm. No! Wait. Come on. This is called hang-gliding. Have you ever done this, actually? I played the video game. Now, when I give the word, everybody jump. Um,... now! Whoa! Whoo! Oh, sorry, was that the word? Coming! Hey! Hey, look out! For queen and colony! Argh! Whoa! Argh! Oh! Argh! Oh! Eh! Oh! Argh! Eh! Argh-ha-ha-ha! Yee-haw! Show-off! Awesome! Yeah! This is Hawaii. We went there last summer. It's got volcanoes and hula dancers and Don Ho and surfboards. And I caught a fish. And these are the pyramids. Well, not the real pyramids. The real ones are a lot bigger. Mommo says aliens built them. She's my grandma. Oh, are these your nest mates? Yeah, that's my family. Ooh. Which one's the queen? My sister thinks she is. (SIGHS) What's wrong? Nothing. It's just, well,... (SIGHS) ...I should have told my mom goodbye. That's all. I can be a real jerk sometimes. Lucas, your face is leaking! Leaking? Oh, no, it's OK. Is that what humans do when they're sad? They leak from the face? When ants are sad, we do this. Oh! Oh, Lucas, it's... it's... It's beautiful! Sweet rocks, come to papa! Red one. Blah! What are you doing? Why aren't you taking the red ones? Well, it's actually quite simple, sugar lips. I hate the red ones. Well, I love the red ones. Hate them. I love them! Hate, hate, hate. Love them! Hate! Love 'em! Admit it. You find me attractive. What? Oh, how you tease me with your sweet talk. Ruff! Oh, you want some sweet talk? Cos I'll give you some sweet talk. Ow! Ow, ow! Now grab a red one before I pull these off. Whoa, I need those. What are we doing? Argh! Nothing, nothing. # You've got to conquer my heart. # Just dial me, love. # And my loving starts. # Pump it, pump it, pump it. # (DIAL TONE) Momma, I'm back! (SLAM!) What was that? Tiffany. What's a Tiffany? Hurry up! Right. Leave the red ones behind! Fugax! (CHUCKLES) (SINGS) (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hey, pipsqueak, you there? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hello?! 'Crossfire!' Oh! That kid and his stupid electronic toys. (DANCE MUSIC) # Oh, oh, oh! # What is he doing? Jumping. You know, hippity hop, uppity downy? It's a scout thing. You wouldn't understand. OK, come on. One more. I just need a seven. (ROCK AND ROLL MUSIC) (PHONE RINGS) Hello. How are you? Hi. Pizza Kingdom. Hail to the king. Would you like to try our Princess Pepperoni with tangy Jester Sauce? Hello! This is Lucas Nickle! I need to cancel my order! (PHONE) What? You don't wanna order? Please cancel the contract! No exterminator! No extra tomato. Got it. Yes. No exterminator. I'm cancelling the contract. What? You... You wanna cancel? Who is this? Oh, Bill, is this you, man? You got me, man. You got me, dude. Oh! That's a relief. OK, Lucas, I don't understand most of what just happened. What is an exterminator? Oh, don't worry. Everything's OK now. (PHONE RINGS) Uh-oh! Hide! This is Tiff. Hi, Mom. Yeah, everything's fine. Lucas is being a pest. Huh? He's in his room playing those stupid video games. No, no! (HUMS) I will. I will. OK, Mom. Yes, I'm hugging the phone too. Uh-huh. Bye. You must be Queen Tiffany. Allow me to introduce my - Wah! Wah! (ANTS GROAN) Argh! Ew! (PANTS) Yah-ha-hah! Ugh! Ugh! Remember your training. Argh! (GASPS) Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! Mother! (BEEPING) (PHONE) 'We're sorry.' 'Your call cannot be completed as dialled.' Hello? Wah? Tiffany, no! You'll squish Lucas! Hello. Nobody's shrunk. Gotta go. Bye-bye. What are you talking about? Lucas! You let him go! It's me you want. Come back! Probe me instead. Lucas! Bring back Lucas, you alien scum! Oh, Lucas. Lucas. OK, Mommo. Lucas. Let's go find your other teeth. (BABBLES) Hova, where are you? (SPLASHING) (DROP SPLASHES) (BRANCH BREAKS) (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Hova? Hova! (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Are you alright? Are we alright? Of course. Why wouldn't we be? We're fine. We're alright, silly. (CHUCKLES) Whoa, whoa, wait. No, wait, now, hold up. Zoc! Zoc, guess what we did? We went to Hawaii. We saw the pyramids. We flew without wings. At first, it was like, wah-ha-ha! But then it was, whoo hoo! The others were terrified, so I took charge. And then we... We were inside the humans' nest. Humans' nest?! That's forbidden! Um, right, right. But the nest was filled with sweet rocks, OK? Lots of them. But then Queen Tiffany started swatting and some massive flying teeth attacked us and, well, here we are. What a day. Good night. And who told you about these sweet rocks? Lucas, of course. Really? (LAUGHS) (SPINDLE BUZZES) Hi, there. How are you? Um, OK. OK. That's good. It's good to be OK. Listen, I just wanted to show you something, if that's OK. You know what this is? This is the potion that will make you big again. I just wanted you to take a good, long look at it. Because this is the last time you'll ever see it. Wha... What do you mean? I mean, there is no way I am ever going to make you big again. (CHUCKLES) Ever. You are a threat to every ant in this colony. Especially to Hova. But I would never do anything to hurt Hova. I just... I... (SIGHS) I just wanna go home. Well, then, if I were you, I'd try to find help somewhere else, because there is nothing for you here. Nothing. Argh! Ow! Ow! The pain, the pain! It's unbearable. Just put me out of my misery! Oh, hold still, you big pupa. I haven't even touched you yet. Hmm. Be gentle with me. Ruff! Ow woo! (CHUCKLES) (SINGS TO HIMSELF) (CONTINUES TO SING TO HIMSELF) # The spider eats the dragonfly. # Where's Lucas? Isn't he with you? No. What? Lucas? Lucas? Huh. That's weird. Well, he's probably off destroying some other poor, unfortunate colony. You know how they are. Destroyers. (CHUCKLES) Zoc, what have you done? Me?! What did I do? Where is he? He's gone. (GASPS) Oh! He led you into a trap, Hova. There was no trap. He led us to food. He was trying to protect us from... Um, from what? What, Hova? From something. Oh, something! (LAUGHS) And I was worried it was from nothing! He's blinded you, Hova. No, you are the one who's blind! You are so consumed by your hatred for the humans, you see only what you want to see. Oh, come on! Zoc, I see a young pupa, a human learning our ways, becoming part of this colony, becoming an ant. Impossible! Listen to yourself, Zoc. 'A wizard knows no such word.' So, what are you now? Certainly not the ant I love. Hova! (SIGHS) I did it for you, for the colony. You did it for yourself. Hova, I... (SIGHS) He won't make it through the night alone. Fugax, your leg's broken. Yeah, but I still have five good ones. Very good ones. You know, I believe he was trying to protect us from something. See you, Zoc. (SIGHS) (SPINDLE BUZZES) (SPINDLE BUZZES) (ANIMAL NOISES) (SNIFFLES) Maybe Zoc is right. (SNIFFLES) Now I'll never get home. (SNIFFLES) Hi! Nice evening, huh? (CHUCKLES) Oh, may I? Um,... sure, help yourself. Thanks, I love water! I'm a beetle that loves water, but not a water beetle. Isn't that funny? (ARGH!) (WAP!) (BUZZING) (GURGLING) (FROG RIBBITS) Argh! Yah argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! (PANTS) Hey, Lucas. Wah argh! Hey, anybody know what wah argh means? I think I just figured it out. Wah-ha-ha! Croaker! Wah! This way! Argh! Wah argh-ha-ha! (FROG RIBBITS) Argh! Don't ever leave me again. But Zoc told me - You are my pupa, not Zoc's. Lucas, come on. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! Oh! Climb! You can do it. Just concentrate. Ugh! I'm an ant. OK, I'm an ant. He's got it. He's got it. Look, I'm an ant! He... Wah... hasn't got it. Wah, wah, wah! Argh! Argh! Ugh! (GASPS) Grab hold! Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! (WAP!) Hova? Argh! (FROG CROAKS) Lucas! Oh! (INSIDES GURGLE) Wow, we came right down that guy's throat, didn't we? (LAUGHS) Hey, smiley, you're on my wing! Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. I am so sorry. So, what do you guys do? I'm a glow-worm. I glow. That's great! You're really starting to irritate me. Can you... Argh! Oh! Oh! (COUGHS) (PANTS) Oh, gross. Oh, will you quit eating, fatso?! It's cramped in here! There's no more room! Don't worry. I'm afraid we will be moving along in due course. Always with the negative with you. Why can't you be more... Hey, Lenny! (LAUGHS) This is what I'm talking about. Lenny always has a smile on his face. Argh! Let me out! Let me out! I don't wanna be a toadstool! A toadstool. That's great. You like that? That's very funny. There's plenty more where that came from, pal. I like that. Hi. What's your name? There he goes again. Stop! Come back! Hova! No! Hova, he's gone. (FROG CROAKS) Croaker, over here. This way! Zoc! Zoc! I am delicious! Eat me! Zoc, are you crazy? Yoo-hoo! He's crazy. Hey, froggy! (FROG CROAKS) (SIGHS) No relationship is worth this. Wah argh! Oh, sure. Why not? Come on in (!) Welcome to paradise. Oh! Zoc! How'd you get here? I sure didn't come in through the rear entrance. Welcome! Make yourself at home. Hi. Who is this? Your ant? Zoc, you are crazy! You're inside a frog! What are you doing? This is impossible! 'Listen to yourself, Zoc.' 'A wizard knows no such word. So, what are you now?' (RUMBLING) Weirdo. What does she see in you? What does she see in you? Exactly! Oh. (BUBBLY / FARTY NOISES) Not me. Hey, is that a...? Alka root? So it is. (STOMACH GURGLES) Oh, no! Oh, my. (BUGS SHOUT) Oh! Um, you might wanna let go of that. (CHUCKLES) Oh, no! So you can grab it? I don't think so. Hands in the air! Oh, my. Whee! (BURP!) (BUGS SHOUT) Wow, that was great! Hey, we sure owe you one! Thanks a lot! Wahoo! I'm free! I'm free! I'm... Oh, crap! (FROGS RIBBIT) Hey, Zoc, thanks. But why'd you do it? An ant will sacrifice himself for his friends. I thought you hated me. I didn't do it for you. (SIGHS) Alright, well, we should camp here for the night. Come on, Fugax. Let's forage some food. Excuse me? I don't forage. I'll scout for food. Hmm. Right, let's go. Zoc, stay with Lucas. He's been through a lot today. Hova, please, don't ask me to - He's not what you think. There is goodness in him. There's an ant in him. Ugh! Argh! Oh! See, he really is trying. Come on. You can do it. Concentrate. One, two, three. Ugh! (SPINDLE SQUEAKS) Ugh! Think ant. Ugh! Ant. Ugh! Ant! Ugh! Argh! Yeah, alright! Ugh! Argh! Oh! Craznocks! (LAUGHS) (SPINDLE SQUEAKS / GIGGLES) It's funny. The sky looks exactly the same. Everything else is so different, but it's the same sky, the same stars. (YAWNS) Why must you keep doing that? Are you ill? What? Oh, you mean yawning. (SIGHS) I'm just tired. Please stop. It's disgusting. Ants don't yawn? Definitely not, thank you. (YAWNS) (SIGHS) So, this city of yours, it's like a nest? Well, yeah. Kind of. And the humans that live there are all brothers working together for the greatness of their colony? Well, not exactly. It's a little more like, you know, every man for himself. But that's so primitive. How does anything get done? Some people work together. Some. Why not all? I suppose it's because of their differences. But it's the differences that make a colony strong. Foragers, scouts, drones, nurses, regurgitators, all are different, but an essential part of the whole. This is where we ants draw our strength. Oh. My differences just get me beat up. And why is that? I don't know. Some humans prefer to clobber people they don't understand. Like you prefer to clobber ants. (SIGHS) I guess I didn't think about what I was doing. Seems to happen a lot. (YAWNS) I suppose sometimes I, too, can act without thinking. Oh. Perhaps in this way, we are alike. (YAWNS) Good night, Lucas. Good night, Zoc. (BIRDS CHIRP) (SNORES) (SUCKING / SNORES) (MUMBLES) Mmm. (LAUGHS) (RUMBLING) What? (GASPS) Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-ha! Oh! What's the matter? Look! What is it? What's wrong? I see her! Who her? The Ant Mother! She's come! She's here! Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-ha-ha! Whoo-hoo-hoo! Look! Look! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo-ha! Wow. (LAUGHS) What do you know? There really is an... (TYRES SCREECH) No. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Cloudbreather. But I cancelled the contract. (ANTS) Praise the Mother! Praise the Mother! Praise the mother! She's come at last! Everyone, please calm down. (ANTS CHEER) (ANTS GASP) Listen to me! It is not the Ant Mother! It is a Cloudbreather! (ANTS GASP) It's true. He's come to wipe out the entire colony. (ANTS GASP) How can we possibly fight back? His magic is strong. Ah. Sprayers. (HUMS) Foggers. Oh, that's the stuff. Zappers. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Sulphur bombs! (LAUGHS EVILLY) (CLANG!) (ANTS MURMUR) And how do you know of this creature? Because... Because I brought him here. Lucas! I knew it. I told you. (ANTS MURMUR) Guards, remove this... human. Come on, kid. Hova! Lucas! Ugh! (GASPS) No! Wait. The potion. That's it! Zoc, you shrunk me. You can shrink the Cloudbreather. Argh! Ugh! We can load these things up and then pow! Right in the ear! Oh! Um... Yes. Yes, perhaps. But the Cloudbreather towers above us like a tree. How do we get close enough? I've got an idea. Zoc, you would trust this human? (ANTS MURMUR) Yoo-hoo, hello? We need to talk to you. Show yourselves. Down here. Hello? (BUZZING) Well, well, well. Just in time for lunch. (LAUGHS) Hello. Wait. Listen to me! We come in peace. The exterminator's here. He brings death clouds that'll destroy us all unless we can work together to stop him! Death clouds, huh? OK, let's eat. (INSECTS BUZZ) Get behind me. (COUGHS) Sir, the east nest... (COUGHS) ...totally destroyed. (WHEEZES) The cloud is coming. (COUGHS) (WHEEZES) The cloud! Argh! Oh! (INSECTS SHOUT) What do you have in mind? Remember, you only get one shot at it. Don't fire until you see the wax of his ears. Understood. Whoa! Whoa! Ready! Lucas? Good to go. Hey. Hey. Stop it. Stop it. Zoc! Can I switch? Mine's broken. Yargh! Alright, boys. Heat 'em up. Let's fly. Whoa, whoa! (ANTS CHEER) Oh! Hey, that looks fun. Oh, let's help, shall we? OK. I only live two weeks anyway. Good for you. Oh, rah, rah, rah. First wave, attack! Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho! So you want to rumble, huh? Come on. Come on. Come on! I'm going in. Ugh! Ugh! Ugh! I can't get through. He's got some kind of shield. Oh, craznocks! Headphones! (CLASSICAL MUSIC) (CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES) (GASPS) Argh! Argh! For queen and colony! Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-ha-ha! Whoo! Yeah! (LAUGHS) Ugh! Why have you stopped? Argh! Oh, jeez. Ooh. Ow. Boy, that hurts(!) Please stop(!) Bye-bye. Argh-ha-ha-ha-ha! Oh! (WIND CHIMES CLANG) Argh! Whoa-ho-ho! We'll have to land on him. Find a way in. (ANTS SCREAM) He's reloading! Now's our chance! Draw! Oh! (LAUGHS EVILLY) Argh! Zoc! Whoa! Argh! Oh! Ugh! Ugh! Welcome to the scalp. Hello. Have a slice. Enjoy. Huh? Uh-oh! Fingers! He's scratching again! Argh! To the armpit! Dive, dive! Oh! Argh! Whoa! Wah argh! Oh! Ugh! Ugh! Leave my friends alone! Wah argh! Wah! Argh! Ugh! Don't pick your nose. Don't pick your nose. (SNORTS) Whoa! Need a lift? Thanks. Wah argh! Oh. Ugh. No! Hova, are you OK? What? Huh? Nighty night. (INSECTS SCREAM) Run! (INSECTS CONTINUE TO SCREAM) Come on, get up! We gotta go, we gotta go! (COUGHS) I'm done, little ant. (INSECTS SCREAM) Ugh! Oh! (COUGHS) Ugh! Ugh! Run! Run! Lucas, go on! Save yourself. Ugh! Huh? That's not the way ants are. Hurry up! Oh! (PANTS) Lucas? Lucas! Argh! Lucas! (PEPPY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC) You did it. You did it! (LAUGHS) Now, that's an ant. (INSECT GROWLS) Oh, sorry. Thanks, kid. (LAUGHS EVILLY) Oh, yeah! Argh! Our weapons are useless. We just need a clear shot. Hey, wait. A shot. OK, now what? Well, I don't know because I've never attacked before. Isn't that funny? Hilarious(!) Oh! Oh, look. Here's a way in. # Enjoy a world that's entirely bug free. # (LAUGHS) # Call Beals-A-Bug. # And leave the bug-killing to me! # (ANTS GASP / SHOUT) (ANTS GASP / SHOUT) Hmm. OK, I, um, I'm feeling like we ought to attack something in here. Hmm. Hey, that looks vulnerable. Perfect. Oh! Argh-argh-argh! Hough! Oh! Oh, look. Here's our way out. Let's give this human a goodbye kiss. Pucker up, Mr Beals! Argh! Argh! (SCREAMS / SQUEALS) Oh. Oh! Wa-yah argh! Wah argh! Ya-wow! Ow! Oh! (INSECTS BUZZ) Huh? Hah-argh! Uh-oh. No! No, no, no. Ugh! Stop. Just get away from me. Get away from me! Argh! Oh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! Huh? You can't exterminate me! Oh, yeah! I'm Stan Beals! Argh! Oh, no, no, no! Please! (LAUGHS) (ANTS CHEER) Praise the Mother! Whoo hoo! Yeah! (BOTH LAUGH) BOTH: Yeah! (INSTRUMENTAL REGAL MUSIC) (ANTS CHEER) Lucas! Lucas! Lucas! Lucas! Lucas! Lucas! Lucas! (APPLAUSE) This day, I no longer see a human among ants but instead, a single colony. No more Lucas the Destroyer, but Rokai the ant. (ANTS CHEER) Welcome to the colony. Isn't that wonderful? Yeah. Rokai? It's an ant name. A wizard name. Rokai has earned his freedom. And we have earned a friend. Remember us. (ANTS CHEER / APPLAUD) Hey, Lucas - Oh! (LAUGHS) I mean, Rokai. Listen, once you get back, if you get the chance, how about dropping a few sweet rocks now and then, huh? You know,... (CHUCKLES)...red ones, preferably. Red ones? (LAUGHS) I thought you hated the red ones. Well, I do, but, um, I'm starting to like 'em. Ruff! (LAUGHS) I'm gonna miss you, Two Legs. Calling a human 'friend.' (CHUCKLES) I thought that impossible until you came. But, Zoc, a wizard knows no such word. Very true. Here. But just wait until you're outside before you drink it. I still think I should have eaten you when I had the chance. (LAUGHS) I am soft and chewy. But I promised the queen I wouldn't. (SIGHS) I'm gonna miss you, Hova. We're going to miss you too, Rokai. Cross our hearts. (ALL) Cross our hearts! (LAUGHS) Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Argh! Oh, he's back. (LAUGHS) Oh, he's back! He's... He's in his birthday suit. Happy birthday, Lucas! (LAUGHS) Got you that time. (CAR HORN HONKS) Uh-huh. Mmm-hmm. Mmm-hmm. Hi, Tiff. Is everything alright? Um, where's Lucas? Still locked in his room, hiding from society. Mom, hey, Mom! Lucas, what is it? I forgot to tell you goodbye. Goodbye. Oh! Goodbye, Peanut. Ooh, sorry, I shouldn't call you that. It's OK. I don't mind. Ah, casa, sweet casa. (LAUGHS) Um, these suitcases are muy grande, my little love nacho. How about getting the el door-o? I don't know what you mean, honey. Yeah, no, honey, the puerta, the... What's the puerta? The door! The door! The door! The door! OK! I got it! I got it! Gracias. Hey, Pukas, where you been? We've been looking for you. (KIDS LAUGH) I think someone's overdue for a dogpile. Yeah, dogpile! (LAUGHS) He said dogpile. Stop saying everything I say, got it? Stop saying everything you say. (LAUGHS) Got it. That's it! How about I dogpile you? Oh, no! Hey! How about you leave him alone? What the craznocks is wrong with you? What? Argh! How about you make me? Oh, that's right, you can't. (WHIMPERS) Ow! Because I'm big and you're small. Yeah, I'm small. We're all small. But together, we're big. (LAUGHS) You think these stupid losers are gonna team up against me? I can do anything I want to them and there's nothing they can do about it. And the same goes for you, Pukas. Dogpile! I said, dogpile! You heard the man. Dogpile! (KIDS SHOUT) Dogpile! Argh! No! Don't hurt me! Mommy! (KIDS LAUGH) Hey, you guys wanna come over and play? Yeah, cool. Come on, Lucas. I'll catch up. There's something I gotta do first. Yeah! Hoo-hoo-hoo! Alright! Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah! (SIGHS) They sure grow up fast. (CHUCKLES) What? Look what I got. Oh, no. Zoc. Whee! (LAUGHS) Zoc! Wait! Wait! No! Stop! I'm serious. Whee! Whee! Come on. (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, stop! (BOTH LAUGH) Whoo hoo! Sweet rocks! Aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye-aye! (ANTS CHEER) (INSTRUMENTAL TRIBAL MUSIC) www.tvnz.co.nz/access-services Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. TVNZ Captioning 2008