(WIND WHISTLES) MAN: Hey! MAN: Come here! Hey! Hey! (DOOR OPENS) (PUNCH THUDS, GRUNTING) (YELLING, THUDDING) - (WHACK!) - (GRUNTS) Aargh! (SCREAMS, BREATHES HEAVILY) God! (SCREAMS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (YELLING, GRUNTING) Damn it! (SCREAMING) (THUD!) (UNSETTLED MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) (SINISTER MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Captions by Shrutika Gunanayagam. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 (WIND WHISTLES) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS DISTANTLY) # You want a whiskey ` # surely drive me to my grave. # You want a whiskey ` # surely drive me to my grave. # Wherever I go, GROWLS: # trouble # seem to follow. (CAR RATTLES) # Wherever I go, GROWLS: # trouble # seem to follow. (ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO PLAYS) (ENGINE SPUTTERS, MECHANICAL GRINDING, MUSIC STOPS) Shit. (YAWNS) (SIGHS) What's goin' on? I dunno, man. Think it just died. (GRUNTS) Holy shit. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Come on! Oh my God. What is it? It's like angel-hair pasta in here, brother. (CLATTERING) (EXHALES SHARPLY) Um,... (KEYS JINGLE) ...here, try it now. (GRUNTS) (ENGINE TURNS OVER) Anything? Nothin'. (RATTLING) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) SOFTLY: OK. Oh, this is terrible. SIGHS: All right. So... Um... (SCOFFS) (BOTH LAUGH) I mean, why do we even bother to pop the hood? I thought I heard something. Yeah, well, unless there's a flashing neon sign that says, 'Here's your problem,' what the hell do we know? Fuck, that's hot. Careful. (GRUNTS) - (BEEP!) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (BEEP!) What you got? I got no service. What about you? I hardly get service in the city, let alone the desert. Yeah, I got nothin', man. Where the hell are we, anyway? Uh, lemme see. OK. (SNIFFLES) We, um... We passed this dot... about an hour ago. I think we're in here someplace. That's, like, 60 miles back! Wow. It's, like, a hundred miles to the next dot. What the hell are you doin', driving us through the middle of nowhere? We're taking the scenic route, remember? Yeah, by 'scenic', I was thinking, I dunno, more trees, mountains, people, dots a lot closer together. By 'scenic', I meant... rarely seen. (INHALES DEEPLY, EXHALES HEAVILY) I'm gonna get you a dictionary when we get back. OK. Holy shit, it's hot out here, man. It's gotta be, like, 115 degrees. I know. Not even noon! No wonder the truck died. Somethin' probably melted. Have we even seen any cars? Ow. No, but it's a road, right? I mean, someone'll be along soon. Well, we got about 20 jelly beans and 6 ounces of melted ice. That should last us 10 minutes. Oh, good (!) It's pretty. Yeah, beautiful. Oh! (CHUCKLES WHEEZILY) Ugh! (SPITS DRAMATICALLY) What flavour is this? Bacon and margarita. Oh my God. I saved those two just for you. (LAUGHS) (GRUNTS) Tastes like that cake you made with the onions. Remember that shit? STRAINED: Yeah, I remember. I think that brings your total of veiled references to things I did with Karen up to three, so feel free to stop. Please. (CHUCKLES) You never think about her, man? Ever? I probably think about her 'bout as much as she thinks about me. Well, she thinks about you a lot, dude. I ran into her last week, and you were all she can talk about. She said she was floored to hear you had a wife and kid. Yeah, well, it floors me sometimes too. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) You all right? Yeah. Don't overexert yourself. I can't believe you got us out of roaming. Huh? Never been outta roaming. That even possible? Where you goin'? What you doin'? I'm gonna go up here and see if I can get a signal. No! Let's sit and let's wait a few minutes, man. Well, why? (SIGHS) I dunno know. We'll hang, and we'll wait for a car. No, you sit and wait; I'm gonna go up and check. Oh shit. (GRUNTS SOFTLY, REPEATEDLY) (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) You remember last time we drove cross-country and we went, like, 200 miles outta the way, because we were so into whatever we were talkin' about? Yeah, and now neither one of us can remember what it was. Might've been when, uh... Might've been when you claimed that art can reach a point where its quality became fact rather than opinion. That sounds like a couple hours of my life I'd like to have back. Or it might have been better defence ` '85 Bears or Steel Curtain? Oh, that's hardly debatable ` it's Bears. Yeah. Well, there hasn't been much of that this time. What? Pointless conversation? Any conversation. (GRUNTS) How are things in high finance? Well, put it this way ` there's this motivational poster in my office with, like, this eagle (PANTS) soaring out of the sky and shit. Yeah. I'll spend some days just staring at it, trying to decide whether or not I'm more suicidal or homicidal that day. CHUCKLES: Nice. So quit. Quit and do what? You ever do that thing when you were in second grade where you, like, drew a picture of what you wanted to be when you were adult, you know? Like, (PANTS) I heard that that's the truest reflection of what you really want. Like, if you're doing what you drew back then, then you're probably really happy. Yeah? And what'd you draw? Me? I think I drew a fat, unemployed writer, so I'm killing it. (BOTH LAUGH) (PANTS, GRUNTS) (CELL PHONE BEEPS STEADILY) SOFTLY: Come on. Nothin'. (CLATTERING) So, Joanne didn't like your music, huh? We just have different tastes. More likely ` she has taste. Well, I liked it. (PANTS) Karen liked it. Would you stop that? (SIGHS) What, man? I mean... (SIGHS) Joanne didn't like your music, and she made you get rid of your guitars. I'm just tryin' to get up to speed here. No, she didn't make me do anything. It became clear that I wasn't gonna have a lot of chances to play, so I got rid of the stuff. You know, she's not a music critic; she's a receptionist. She's my wife, Carter ` my wife. CHUCKLES: I'm just sayin'. I know exactly what you're saying', and I'm telling you to stop. (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (SOFT SNIFFLING, GRUNTING) Davey said he saw you guys at the store, but you just kinda walked right on by. Yeah? Well, tell him I say hello. (SCOFFS) Why don't you tell him? You live less than, like, 10 miles away from the guy. Yeah, we're pretty busy. Well, he thinks that your wife hates him. No. No? She's just not much on gatherings, that's all. What about your parents' house? There's never less than a hundred people there. We don't visit very often. CHUCKLES DRILY: OK. So no Davey, no family ` sounds like the list of people she does like is kinda short. I hope you're on it, buddy. Seriously, would you knock it off? (CHUCKLES DRILY) You don't even know her. You're right, man ` I don't know her. Every time I come to visit you guys, you're too busy. I'm surprised she let you get away to do this thing with me. (SIGHS) Here we go. Here we go! STRAINED: Oh, thank God. Come on. Here we go. Whoa. Wait a minute. (GRUNTS) Oh shit, wait. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait. Wait! Goddammit! Aargh! Aah! Ugh! Aargh! Dammit! Dude, are you OK?! Aargh! Oh! SHRIEKS: Hold up! Hold on! Shit! Hold on! (PANTS) Wait. Wait! Hey! Wait! Hey! Hold on! Hey! Yo! (GRUNTS, EXCLAIMS) Whoa. (BRAKES SQUEAL) Hey. Car trouble? Yeah, we broke down a few minutes ago. Well, I'm not much good on cars. I'll give you a lift into town. Great, thank you so much. Just lemme grab my bag. Yeah. Hey! Got a ride. Wait, wait! (COUGHS) Sorry. Hold on. We don't need it. What do you mean, we don't need it? (PANTS) Sorry, sir. Nothin' to worry about, son. No, it's not... I'm harmless. CHUCKLES: No. I... No, it's all right. It's not that. It's just that the... The truck, it's not broken. What do you mean, it's not broken? It's` I took a wire out. It's not a big deal. What are you ta...? Um... SOFTLY: Right, one second. (GRUNTS) What are you talkin' about? (SIGHS) I thought that we were gonna have some good conversations like the last time, you know? But instead I got cell phones and freeways and motels and fuckin' sports radio. Uh... And when I tried to get off the beaten path, you just decided to go to sleep, so I thought this'd give us a chance to catch up. Thank you, sir. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Are you out of your fucking...? You sure everything's all right? Yes. Oh, yeah. I... I am definitely sure. OK. Ta-da. All right, thank you. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Put it in. It's no big deal, man. One second. Put it in! I wanna see it start. (SIGHS) It's just a wire. Sorry about this. Just give us a second. (HOOD RATTLES) It's just a wire, man. Look. OK. (GRUNTS) Here. (GRUNTS) (WHISTLES TUNE) (ENGINE STARTS) Happy? You boys good? Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. Thank you so much. I appreciate it. Have a good day. (ENGINE REVS) Sorry. Thank you for stopping. (ENGINE IDLES) Are you insane?! (SUITCASE CLANGS) Huh?! You stage a breakdown in the middle of the desert so that we can talk?! Yeah, and we've had our longest conversation in the whole trip. I guess that's a coincidence (!) I could've broken my neck fallin' down that goddam hill. I told you not go up there! We could've had a perfectly good talk sitting right here` Talk?! That was not a talk! ...but you had to go up and climb a frickin' mountain. (WINDOWS SQUEAKS) That was you stopping us a hundred miles from nowhere so that you could spend a few uninterrupted minutes bashing my wife and job! (ENGINE TURNS OFF) What kind of a ring was it? What? The engagement ring ` what kind was it? Whaddaya mean, what kind? Was it a diamond? What does that matter? Why won't you answer? Fine, I got her a diamond. So what? 'So what?' So you just forgot all about the gumball doctrine. The gumball do` Oh my God, you gotta be kidding me. Has nothing happened to you in the last 10 years? So you do remember. Yeah, I remember it as something cooked up by a couple of losers who had nothin' better to do on a Friday night. Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh. I didn't cook it up; you did. You're the one. You're the one that said that you would never buy an engagement ring that didn't come from a gumball machine. You're the one that said the poorest people on the planet are hackin' off each others' limbs to give you somethin' to spend two months' salary on. Look, just because you took some conversation we had over beer and macaroni and decided to make it your religion doesn't mean the rest of the world gives a shit. OK, fine, so you gave up on diamonds. OK, who gives a shit, man? You give up on your music, your friends and your family, and for what? The rebound girl. Come on! 'The rebound girl'? Really? (SCOFFS) Jesus. Yes. Yes, the rebound girl. I was there. I saw you and Karen together; you were insane for the girl, and when she left, you know, pfft, you were messed up, OK? People get that, but four months later and you're engaged to the secretary? Listen, take a step back and see that for what it is. I fell in love. You panicked. Why do you insist on listening to the words you're putting into my mouth rather than the ones I'm actually saying? You got a goddam dog. So what? You're allergic! Take a pill. What's the dog's name? Sun... Fuck you. No. No, fuck you. No, Fuck You ` I would believe. Fuck You is exactly the kinda name that you would name a dog. No, (SLAMS DOOR) but your dog's name is Sunshine. (CHUCKLES DRILY) Fucking Sunshine. Are you gonna look at me with a straight face and tell me that your opinion was actually considered in the decision that resulted in an animal you're allergic to being named after a Care Bear? Oh my God, you're right ` I didn't get to name a dog. My life is a sham (!) No, no, lemme just get this straight, OK? (STAMMERS) Just for me. So the love of your life leaves, OK? And less than a year later, you're married to a secretary who loves dogs and hates your fucking music. I think it's reasonable at that point to have some doubts, right? I think it's reasonable to email your good friend Carter. You remember that? 'Hey, what the fuck, man? What am I getting into? Did I make a mistake?' And before I can hit reply, you buy a fuckin' house! That's great! I understand. Right, OK, fine, you're` focus on` you wanna focus on fucking square footage rather than the fact that you have nothing in common. That's OK. You` It's marriage counselling by HGTV. I get it, man. I get it. And now, you know, after all this home improvement, you realise, you know, (SCOFFS) you haven't improved a goddam thing. And now you got no distractions. 'What am I gonna do?' Oh, yeah, I forgot ` (CHUCKLES DRILY) it's the next chapter in the off-the-shelf life plan you got from Home Depot! Right. (GASPS) Procreate! That's the job that's never finished. 'Keep my face down. Keep my nose to the grindstone. Just focus on the kid.' And maybe you can go the rest of your life ignoring the fact that (SCOFFS) you fucked up, man. You made a colossal mistake, and you married literally the first chick to come along. What? Hey, hey, hey. Come on! Come on! Fuck. Well, I'm not saying anything you don't know already. Just swallow your pride` (GRUNTS) ...and you'll see how true it is. You ever talk about my family like that again, I will kick the shit outta you, hear me? OK. All right. Listen, I'm sure that Cole is great; I'm sure he's the best thing to ever happen to you, but he's not a substitute for loving your wife. Joanne was right. You're nothin' but a piece of shit. (PANTS) OK. That's OK. Get in. I'll get in when I'm` I'll get in when I'm good and fuckin' ready; that's when I'll get in. So it's you and Joanne against the whole world. That's all right. That's OK. You know, you're so scared to admit that you made a mistake that you just keep on making it (POUNDS REPEATEDLY) over and over and over again, but that's fine. That's fine. You wanna keep on believing your own bullshit? We'll get you home, get you back to your perfect little life and your 'motivational posters', and you can tune back out (STAMMERS) and try to forget all about the fact that your life is a complete shithole. Oh, then maybe, maybe you can call me in 20 years when you've fuckin' lost your hair and you've come to your senses. I don't think we'll be talkin' much any more. Whatever. (ENGINE TURNS OVER) (ENGINE SPUTTERS) - (BANGS HEAD) - (BOTH SIGH) MUTTERS: Stupid motherfucker. (BANGS HEAD) Probably just came loose, man. Fuck off! Are you insane?! Calm down! Why are you`?! 'Calm down'?! I'm gonna fix it. You want me to calm down?! You go fuckin' around with the electrical system in a 30-year-old piece-of-shit truck in the middle of the desert with no food and no water, and I'm supposed to calm down?! I didn't fuck around with it; I disabled it ` briefly. You should be thankful that I'm willing to go to these lengths to try to help you. 'Thankful'! I should be thankful?! Who the fuck are you to be giving me some sort of life intervention, huh?! You're unemployed! You're homeless! Yes, and you hate your job, and you have a house that's apparently too small for a guitar! This is so typical. This is sooooo typical. You're constantly doing something for you and then saying that it's for everybody else. (ENGINE TURNS OVER) You don't like my wife; we don't get to hang out any more, so you want me to get divorced, right, for my own good,... Yeah. ...because I can do better. But it's all bullshit. You want me to find somebody you like better. It's for your own good. Fuck. Fuck. Sh... (SIGHS HEAVILY) (ENGINE TURNS OVER) I got a good job; I make good money; I have a house, a family, and it kills you, because you're a 30-year-old failure who lives in his car. You're right (!) So you turn your anger on everybody else and try to make us feel like our achievements aren't worth a shit, because we didn't draw a picture of ourselves doing them in the second grade. (BLOWS, CHUCKLES DRILY) You actually think that if I quit, took up music and actually made it, that you'd be happy for me? Mm. Fuck that ` you would be just as blind with jealousy then as you are now. You'd probably, I dunno, run me over with your car/house` Probably. ...and then tell me that it was for my own good, right? Yeah (!) This is not about me. You don't give a shit about me. This is all about you and how everybody else can accommodate your failure. (EXHALES) Hey, I'm not a failure, OK? I could have everything you have and more, but I decided long ago that it would be better to follow my dream rather than try to buy enough shit from fucking Pottery Barn to be comfortable with the idea of being a meaningless lever-pulling, (MOCKINGLY) 'button-pushing' cog! I was a day away from` ...law school. No, no, we all know the story. SHRIEKS: Fuck! (INHALES SHARPLY) (EXHALES SHARPLY, REPEATEDLY) You took a test; you blew it away; you had your choice of schools but walked away for the sake of art, right? (EXHALES HEAVILY) Right? I followed my dream instead of a pay cheque. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. (ENGINE TURNS OVER) (IMITATES BUZZER) Wrong. You're a scared and insecure little freak who couldn't get anywhere with writing and so desperately needed somebody to approve of you, to say that you were still intelligent, still capable... Come on. ...that you took a fricking test. You know what you should do? You should tattoo that test score on your forehead. That way when somebody says, 'Wait a second. You live in your car?' You can say, 'Yeah, but, look, I chose to be a loser, so it's OK.' (SCOFFS) (SPITS, BREATHES HEAVILY) You think you've got the rest of us pegged, right? (EXHALES SLOWLY) You got the rest of us pegged, and it's your job to make sure we all face reality. (ENGINE TURNS OVER) The reality is your writing sucks. You're not gonna be famous; you're not gonna sell a book. You are wasting your time. You're the one that needs to face facts, pal, but every time those facts get too close, you just hop in your car, and you run off. Well, here are the facts ` a 30-year-old loser living in his car is about the last person that I'm gonna be looking to for advice on how to fix my life. So unless you wanna put out a book of don'ts based on all the ways you screwed up ` which is the only thing you're ever likely to publish ` you should probably just shut the fuck up. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Are you done? (ENGINE TURNS OVER) (ENGINE STARTS) (BANGING, RATTLING, HISSING) (YELLS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Fuck! (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) SOFTLY: Shit. Shit. (SOFT RATTLING) (COUGHS) (HISSING CONTINUES) (SOFT RATTLING) (LOW, UNSETTLED MUSIC) (WIND WHISTLES) Someone'll come along. MUTTERS: You make me sick. (SOLEMN, UNSETTLED MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC BUILDS GRADUALLY) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (LOW, FOREBODING NOTE) (WIND WHISTLES) (SHIVERS SOFTLY) (WING CONTINUES WHISTLING) (GRUNTS SOFTLY, REPEATEDLY) (CONTINUES SHIVERING) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (GRUNTS) (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) Hot enough for ya (?) (GRUNTS) (SHIVERS) They say the nights kill more people than the days. (GULPS, BREATHES HEAVILY) OK. I'm so thirsty; my tongue feels like a two-by-four. Here. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (INHALES SLOWLY) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Uh... (CLICKING) (GULPS, SIGHS) Finish it. (BREATHES HEAVILY) How long can you go without water? (BREATHES HEAVILY) Two days? (SNIFFLES) I dunno. Doesn't matter ` I'm goin' for help in the morning. Well, 60 miles is a pretty long walk. That's only if I don't see a car. (EXHALES HEAVILY) I think I saw some cones on the way in, man, I dunno. (WIND WHISTLES) Hey, I know it` I know it doesn't really change anything, but, uh, I'm sorry. (SIGHS HEAVILY) It was definitely not your brightest idea. I mean I'm sorry about what I said. Are you sure you don't want to apologise for getting us stuck? I'm not freezing to death because you insulted my wife. (SIGHS) I'm sorry about the whole goddam thing. (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) You really think my writing sucks? Well, it's` it's not bad; it's just... (SIGHS) all` all your characters get, like, cancer and die. Don't all get cancer and die. In that one thing, I'm pretty sure about 75% of the people die. That was about an oncologist. Yeah, and that other one with the woman who was high, and her baby crawled out the window. I mean, it was good writing but... kinda made me want to kill myself, you know. Look, that shit really happens, all right? It's just hard to get the message out if nobody reads the book. The idea that I 'might not have it', it's, uh` it's not news. (SIGHS) It's just that you go your whole life with everyone... (SIGHS) yellin' at you to follow your dream and to never give up, but to be honest, if everyone followed their dreams, we'd just be a planet of pro athletes and` and astronauts. (BOTH CHUCKLE) You know, there's gotta be someone there to clean the toilets, am I right? It's like you said, you know ` sometimes it's better to go after something you care about than to be handed something that you don't, right? Really? What if my lifelong dream was to be point guard for the Lakers? Would you tell me to keep chasing that? No. Exactly,... because 'never give up' looks a hell of a lot better on a coffee mug than it does in real life, (INHALES DEEPLY) because failing ` (SHIVERS) daily failing, it's just... it's a lonely,... miserable business. (CONTINUES SHIVERING) Look, man, if I thought you should quit, I would say so. But sometimes,... (SNIFFLES) ...you know, inside all that other stuff, sometimes... you'll say somethin' in just a few words that I realise I've been thinking for years, and that's not just you reading my mind; that's you reading a part of it that I never would've known how to express. Now, that's not just some fat kid with no jump shot; that's... There's something there. Some of the things you put out there, man,... I think a lot more of them stick than you realise. (WIND WHISTLES) (SIGHS) I cheated on Joanne. Are you kidding me? No. Six months ago at this conference ` just... (SIGHS) just sorta happened. We're freezing our asses off in the middle of the desert; you think you're gonna get away with, 'It just sorta happened'?! (SIGHS SOFTLY) It was just... It was this woman ` girl, really ` 21, 22, somebody's intern. Long brown hair, these long skinny legs, and she had this huge smile, and she walks up to me, and she introduces herself, asks what firm I'm with, blah blah blah. And I said, like, 'Listen, if you're lookin' for a job, I'm the wrong guy,' and she goes, (LISPS) 'No, I just think you look interesting.' And she says, 'Would you like to have dinner?' And I realise that I've had my hands in my pockets this whole time, so she has no idea that I'm even married. Mm-hm. Suddenly, I get this feeling ` you know, like I told you I get with books and movies ` like I-I finally had a chance to escape, to be somebody else for a while. So I go back up to my room, and suddenly I feel this wave of guilt ` like, the spell breaks, and I start thinkin' this is crazy. Then all of a sudden, my phone rings, and it's Joanne. And I answer, and I say,... 'I'm so glad you called,' because I was. 'I miss you, and I wish you were here right now,' and she says, 'Well, I wish I were there right now too, 'because the disposal's broken again. 'Do you want me to call a repairman? Or do you wanna try and fix it? 'Oh, and did you ever talk to our neighbour about whether or not they stole our recycling bin? 'Because it's getting a little awkward walking with...' And she goes on like this for, like, five minutes. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) (SIGHS) So when I hung up,... I practically ran to the elevator, and Annie ` her name was Annie ` we have this whole dinner, and you know what we talked about? Mm. College football. Mm. College football! Mm. No car insurance, no day care, no gossip about other parents I don't even know ` just simple, effortless conversation. I've never... (SIGHS) The first one that I've had in a long time. Scale of one to 10. 10. Plus, the fact that she was 21 makes her, like, an eleventy-zillion. (GRUNTS) Hello. Don't get me wrong ` Joanne is very attractive, and this is gonna sound shallow, but... (CHUCKLES DRILY) pregnancy is bad for a body. You know, sometimes I'll catch myself staring at her thighs or her belly, and I'll be like, 'Whatever happened to the woman I married?' You know? You do realise you're the one who made her like that. I knooow. That's why I feel like an asshole even sayin' this. I feel like an asshole even thinkin' it. And don't get me wrong ` Cole is the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's just he's the worst thing that ever happened to our sex life. I used to look at Joanne and just wanna jump her, but now I look at her, and sometimes.... (SIGHS) And this is embarrassing, but sometimes I have... trouble... getting ready for her. You know? And Annie? (SCOFFS) I could be ready just thinkin' about her. I was ready when she asked my name. I guess when you get married, you're supposed to say that the relationship goes beyond tight thighs and a skinny waist and that, when all that goes, the rest of it will sustain you. Well, it just isn't phrased that way. But if it was, would you still have married her? Yeah, of course, but... you just don't realise how much you'll miss things ` you know, little things, like kissing. You don't kiss Joanne any more? Yeaaah, kiss all the time, but it's habit. It's like a handshake; you don't even think about it. When Annie kissed me, (BANGS HEAD) fuck, it was like the hairs on the back of my neck stood up. It's hard to say, but there's more in that first kiss with someone new than there is in the whole shebang after four years. That's how everything was; it was just exciting, you know ` touching her, takin' her clothes off for the first time. And then the rest of the weekend at the conference, I'd be sitting in some stupid speech, and all I could think about was those tiny, little legs and those little black panties, and I just` I felt like I was goin' fuckin' crazy. (EXHALES HEAVILY) So then at lunch, I found her,... and we blew off the rest of the conference. Just blew it off. Did it four times on Sunday ` once an hour before we went to the airport. Now, you have to understand, if Joanne and I do it four times a month, it's a fuckin' miracle. But it's like I knew that it was gonna disappear forever, and I just... couldn't get enough. And did it disappear forever? Yeah, we email sometimes, but nothin' serious. But every time I see her name in my inbox, it's like my heart doubles up, man. You gonna see her again? Why? That would just ruin it, you know? Everything I felt for Annie, I used to feel for Joanne. So, what, I just run off with this gorgeous little football fan? Then what? Next thing you know, talkin' to Annie is like talking to Joanne; kissing Annie is like kissing Joanne. It's... (SIGHS) That's just what marriage does. (WIND WHISTLES) (SHIVERS) You asked if I ever mentioned the music to Joanne. Well, I have. Uh-huh. I do. It's like clockwork. (SNIFFLES) Every couple of months, I'll wake up, freaked out that my life is meaningless. She'll try on some clothes, have a breakdown, swear she's gonna lose 20 pounds, swears off food. I swear that I'm gonna turn in my tie for a guitar strap. We both say, 'Good for you, honey. I'm with you,' not believing a single fuckin' word the other person's saying. That's the problem with marriage. You... You can't do it without learning to lie to the one person you're supposed to trust. (RUSTLING) Can I ask you something? What? And I don't mean to upset you. (SNIFFLES) Um,if it's so bad, why don't you get out? Lemme see your keys. (RUSTLING) I told you, I tried a million times. Just lemme see 'em. It's not gonna work, brother. (KEYS JINGLE) That's it? Two keys? Yeah, why? (KEYS JINGLE) Jesus. Yeah. It's like you mugged a locksmith. Yeah, I know. OK, there's my house keys. I got my gym locker. I've got my toolshed. I've got my boat keys. I dunno what the hell that one's for. CHUCKLES: Jesus! Or that one. I mean, you know when people say they're gonna put down roots? Well, (JINGLES KEYS) that's what it looks like. (KEYS JINGLE, WIND WHISTLES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) SOFTLY: Shit. You know what I always wanted? What? Mohawk, fuckin' Mohawk, just like that dude from Taxi Driver. Travis Bickle, the nutcase. Yeah. Mm-hm. But I could never do it. Why not? Well, because my parents would've killed me. Then when I got to college, I was workin'. Then I was workin' as soon as I got outta college. Then, of course, I got married and had a kid, so... So? So you don't see many responsible parents or functioning members of society with Mohawks. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) So? So forget about doing somethin' crazy and life-altering like quitting my job or leaving my wife; I can't even get a haircut any more without thinkin' about the keys, and the keys, they don't like Mohawks. Well, how long do you have to listen to the keys, exactly? Until you retire? Until Cole goes to college? (SCOFFS) Oh, I'll probably be bald by then. Exactly. (RUSTLING) You know, I used to have somethin' on my key chain, but it kept falling off. (UNZIPS) Do you know what this is? This is a multitool. And do you know what one of the (GOOFILY) tools is? (CLICK!) Shing! Mohawk? (SCOFFS) Dude,... put away the multitool; it's not happening. Why not? Because I just told you two pounds of why. So what, man? Nobody's here. We're freezing our asses off in the middle of the desert; there's not a soul to stop you. Well` SING-SONGY: Mohawk! ...it's not something that I think Cole needs to see, is his old man with a Mohawk. So what? (STAMMERS) You'll prove to him that it's good to be your own man. What about Joanne? Joanne's probably as bored with you as you are of her. You're probably one Mohawk away from fuckin' like rabbits. OK, well` CHANTS: Mohawk. Mo... Come on. Just say, 'Fuck it,' man. Fuck it. Fuck the keys. Do it for you. Oh God, you don't... (SNIPPING) You're pulling on it. MUFFLED: 'Just relax. Don't be a pussy. (GRUNTS) 'There we go. (CHORTLES GLEEFULLY) 'That's lookin' good, man. (UNSETTLED MUSIC) (MUSIC BECOMES FOREBODING) 'Here we go.' (RAZOR SCRAPES) (YELLS) Ow! Ow! Yeah, that's gonna leave a mark. Are you fucking kidding me? Is it straight? It's fairly straight. Yeah? Does it look like Travis Bickle? Ha! You look pretty crazy! (GIGGLES) (WIND WHISTLES) Whaddaya think? Oh no. Do you love it? (CHUCKLES IN DISBELIEF) (CACKLES) Yes! Oh my God! I'll give you 100 bucks if you let me come to work with you on Monday. CHUCKLES: You don't have $100. I know! I'll sell something. You gonna sell a book? Something of value, like... my kidney, maybe. Yeah. Oh my God. This look is never gonna make it to work. Oh, come on, man. This is new Mitch coming through. Oh my` Can't believe how many times you cut me. The lacerations will fade, but the memories will last us a lifetime. Oh, we can't say nothin' happened on this trip, huh? (SIGHS) God. Yeah. (EXHALES, SNIFFLES) What? Have you ever been this thirsty? No. (WIND CONTINUES WHISTLING) (SQUEAKING) (SLURPS) Really? (SMACKS LIPS) It just tastes like water. Gimme. Yeah, tastes like water. (GRUNTS, SNIFFLES) (SPITS) It's blue and soapy. Yeah, well, it's washer fluid. What do you expect? (GAGS, SPITS) That's horrible. WEAKLY: 'I don't... (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) 'I don't want any more.' (BOTH BREATH HEAVILY) All right. I don't like it. (SIGHS) Well` I-I'm gonna save mine for tomorrow, in case I have to go for a walk. K, well, we should pr... We should probably get some sleep,... Yeah. ...(SNIFFLES) in case you do, huh? Yeah. (SOFT SNORING) (WIND WHISTLES) (DOOR SQUEAKS SOFTLY) (RETCHES) (COUGHS) (CONTINUES COUGHING, SPLUTTERS) (RETCHES) (SOFT SNORING) (BRAKES WHINE SOFTLY) (ENGINE IDLES) WHEEZILY: Holy shit! (HORN BLARES) Aah! Hold on! Hello? Hello? Hi! Oh God! Thank you! (ENGINE REVS) Wait! Hi! Hi! Hold on! Hi! Hi. How are you? It's so good to see you. (RATTLING) We had... (THUD!) Ow! OK. Um, don't go anywhere! Um, we had a... problem last night. (RETCHES, COUGHS) It's so good to see... I'm sorry. Um, oh my God. We had a bit of an issue with the engine. (SPITS) I guess I tampered with it, or... I didn't really dismantle it. (STAMMERS) It's fine. It's all good, but, uh, God, we were here all night ` all day and all night last night. Maybe you have food or water or somethin' ` just anything, A ride, you know? (STAMMERS) (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL) Wait, no! Where are you goin'?! (SHRIEKS) Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! SOFTLY: God. What... the fuck... are ya doing?! (WHEEZES) (STAMMERS) I thought she was gonna take us with her. SHRIEKS: She was! Till you scared the shit out of her! You couldn't wait one minute to get into the car? (SOBS) Man, come on! (GRUNTS) I don't kn` I don't know. I thought... (SOBS) (SIGHS) You look like a goddam fuckin' horror movie extra! (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SOBS) Let's remember why I look like this. This ` this was your idea! Oh, what am I afraid of? What can it hurt? Well, there you go! That is exactly why you can't have a Mohawk in the real world! I gave you a haircut, not a lobotomy! (BOTH SOB) I don't feel well. SCOFFS: Oh! Maybe it has somethin' to do with the fact that I spent a day in the oven and the night in the freezer with nothin' but fuckin' washer fluid in my system. Told you not to drink that shit, man. Oh! It tasted like soap! OK, so this is all my fault (!) I got us stuck in the desert (!) Well, you certainly got us stuck for another 20 hours. Hey, do me a favour ` if you see any more cars comin', try not to be such a (SHRIEKS) fucking moron! This is exactly what happens when you let a homeless person cut your hair! (FAKE-LAUGHS RAUCOUSLY) (COUGHS, SOBS) Don't worry ` I'm gonna call Joanne for ya. I'll tell her you're just fine; (CHUCKLES DRILY) you'll be home soon, but you won't be able to get it up, looking at her fat fuckin' thighs` Hey! ...unless you think about your girlfriend, Annie! Hey, you better keep your mouth shut! (COUGHS) Then maybe she'll give you that divorce you're so scared to ask for. Then you can give those keys you love so much to Cole's new dad! Hey! You fucker! (BREATHES HEAVILY, GRUNTS) (GRUNTS LOUDLY) (THUD!) Aargh! Oh shhhhhit. (WHIMPERS SOFTLY) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (LOW, FOREBODING MUSIC) Hey. SOFTLY: 'You son of a bitch. Hey. 'Come here.' Hey! Come here! Hey! Hey! (THUD! BOTH GRUNT) (PUNCH THUDS, GRUNTING) (PUNCH THUDS) Oh! You son of a bitch! (THUD!) (GRUNTS) (YELLS) (WHEEZES) (GRUNTS) (YELLS) (GRUNTS LOUDLY) You just broke my nose! (COUGHS) Fucking... (GRUNTS) - (YELLS) - (THUDDING) (GRUNTS) Yeah. STRAINED: Damn it. (BOTH YELL, GRUNT, BLOWS THUD) Aargh! - (WHACK!) - (SCREAMS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (YELLS, CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) (GROANS) (GRUNTS) SHRIEKS: Come on! (SCREAMS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Oh, my eye! Time out! Are you all right? Aah! (GRUNTS) (YELLS) Aaargh! (BOTH YELL) (GROWLS) (SCREAMS) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (THUD!) (GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY, SNIFFLES) Aah, I think you broke my nose. (SNIFFLES) Aah. (SNIFFLES) Aah. Now I'm going to have two casts and a fuckin' Mohawk. (SNIFFLES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SPITS, GRUNTS) Hey, quit fuckin' around; get up. Come on, get up! Carter. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Carter? (GRUNTS, CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) Hey. Hey. Get up! C... Get up! C... Hey. Hey. Come on. PLEADS: Come on. Carter. SOFTLY: 'Oh shit. (BREATHES HEAVILY) 'Oh man.' TEARFULLY: 'Oh, I'm so sorry. 'Carter, come on, buddy. 'Wake up. 'Wake up. (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) 'Oh my God.' Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God! (SOBS SOFTLY) SOFTLY: Oh my God! (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) Carter, come on, buddy, get up. Get up. Get up! SHOUTS: Get up! TEARFULLY: Oh fuck. Oh fuck. (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC) SOBS: Oh my God. H` Hey. (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) Oh fuck. (LOW, SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES) (WIND WHISTLES) (MUSIC BECOMES FOREBODING) It's gonna be OK, buddy. It's gonna be OK. (SNIFFLES) You know, I was thinkin' about it, and it's really funny. CHUCKLES: 'We should've thought about it sooner. 'We scared that old lady, man! We scared her.' I mean, look at me, right? I'd be scared of me. I look fucking crazy. (SNIFFLES) But that's OK; that's good; that's very good, because she probably went straight to town and told somebody about it, right? She probably went to the first house or (SNIFFLES) store or whatever and was like, (IMITATES ELDERLY WOMAN) '"Ohhh! You gotta help me. '"Some crazy guy with a crazy haircut tried to get in my car!" (SNIFFLES) But I wasn't trying to get in her car; (LAUGHS) I was just... I was just feelin' it, you know? I was just tryin' to make sure it wasn't one of those mirages, like in the cartoons, you know? (SNIFFLES, CHUCKLES SOFTLY) But that's OK. That's good; that's very good, because she probably (SNIFFLES) told somebody, and they're gonna come out here and check it out. They're probably sending somebody right now. They're probably... (SNIFFLES) Probably sending the police. (WIND WHISTLES) The police are probably comin'... Carter. Carter, I think` Hey, I think the police are comin'. Carter, I need you to wake up, buddy. I need you to wake up! Carter! The police are coming. The police are coming! I need you to help me make them understand how this happened! Carter! Come on! Come on! Hello! Do you hear me?! Cos if you don't help me explain, they're not gonna understand, Carter. Come on! Come ooooon! (LOW, SOLEMN MUSIC) You remember my keys? Do you remember my keys? I have a lot of things to worry about. PLEADS: Come on, buddy. Wake up! Wake up! (CRIES) (SNIFFLES) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SOBS) SOFTLY: I am sorry. (GRUNTS) (SOLEMN MUSIC) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (MUSIC BECOMES SINISTER) (GRUNTS) (MUSIC SOFTENS, BECOMES SOLEMN) (GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (STRAINS) (MUSIC FADES) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) Carter? (GASPS) (COUGHS VIOLENTLY) Carter! Carter. (GASPS) Holy shit! Holy shit, you're alive! You're alive! Carter! Oh! OK. (STAMMERS) Just wait here. (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) You're OK. You're OK. You're OK. You're OK. Everything's gonna be OK, all right? What's happening? What happening?! You scared the shit out of me; that's what's (LAUGHS) happening! Ow, my head. Oh! Oh my God, I can't believe it. Wait. (BREATHES HEAVILY) I have the worst headache I've ever had in my life. OK. All right, well, (STAMMERS) just stay right there, OK? (SNORTS) We'll get you taken care of. (EXHALES) OK. Oh shit. Oh fuck. OK. Um,... is this all mine?! Yeah. Yeah, mostly. Oh! (CONTINUES BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) Jesus. The fuck happened to you, man? You. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) Wow. (CHUCKLES DRILY) (COUGHS VIOLENTLY) OK, just keep breathing. (SIGHS, WHEEZES) Breathe in. Breathe in. Breeeathe in. OK. There you go. All right. Good job. (EXHALES HEAVILY) Good job. I hope I don't look as bad as you do. Let's just say we're tied. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Let's just... (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) Um,... the fuck happened to my hand? Oh. Uh, it... It looks broken. Yeah, it looks really broken. Yeah. (EXHALES HEAVILY) Look, I'm just... OK. (SNIFFLES) Look, it d` it doesn't matter, OK? I'm just happy that you're alive and OK. (GRUNTS) What the fuck happened here? W-We were arguing. You don't remember? (GRUNTS LOUDLY) No. It really hurts to think, actually. Well, then don't. Just` Just sit here; rest. It doesn't matter anyway. It's over. (BREATHES WEAKLY) Oh my God, it's almost dark. Yeah. And nobody's come? No. I hoped that lady was gonna send somebody, but she... Oof! (CHUCKLES DRILY) Just take it easy. I-I'll keep lookout. Ooh, watch out. SIGHS: Oh God. STRAINED: 'Maybe I just need to` No, no, you stay. Just stay... 'I just need to sit up for a second. (BREATHES HEAVILY) What the hell is that? Uh... Well... The fuck is that?! No, you don't understand. I didn't` Listen. Listen. Listen. The fuck is that?! Stay back! Listen. Get away from me! Come on, Carter, I thought you were dead. Aah! Aargh! I thought you were` Stay back! (BREATHES PANICALLY) (STAMMERS) I didn't feel a pulse. I checked your` And there was no pulse; I didn't know what to do. (GRUNTS) Aargh! So you're just gonna fuckin' bury me in that hole?! No. No, it's not like that. Listen. Are you fuckin' crazy?! LOUDLY: We were fighting. We were fighting, and you pulled the knife on me! You broke my fuckin' nose! Get the fuck back from me! You bit my fuckin' cast! (BREATHES PANICALLY) What was I supposed to do? Come on, just... Tried to fuckin' kill me! I wasn't trying to kill you, buddy! Just... Where you goin'? What are you`? Stay the fuck back from me! OK! OK, OK! Listen! I'll kill you. I didn't know... I panicked. I panicked, OK? (SHOUTS) I panicked. I didn't know what to do. I wasn't feelin' all right! I thought you were dead! You thought I was gonna do it,... didn't you? Didn't you?! You thought` Whoa. You thought I was gonna do it ` I was gonna fuck up your` your perfect little life. So you were just gonna` gonna bury me ` bury me out here in the middle of nowhere! (BREATHES IN ANGUISH) Your stupid loner... novelist friend` No. ...who no one would ever miss. Hey, hey. I didn't. I didn't. You stay the fuck away from me! All right. Where you going? Get back! Where are you going? I'll kill you! OK, OK. I'm sorry! Don't follow me! Hey, I'm` Please don't go! (SHOUTS) Carter. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SINISTER MUSIC) (SOFT CLINKING) (SOFT SNAPPING, RUSTLING) Aargh! (BREATHES PANICALLY) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - (SCRAPING) Carter? Carter? Quit fuckin' around, man. You're freakin' me out. (GRUNTS) (DISTANT SCRAPING) (CREAKING) Ooh! (EXCLAIMS) (DOOR SQUEAKS) (SIGHS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (WINDOW CRANK SQUEAKS) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) (CLICKING) (HORN BLARES) Aargh! Fuck! Fuck! Get outta here! - (HORN BLARES SUSTAINEDLY) - (GRUNTS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (EXHALES HEAVILY) - (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY, SHIVERS) - (WIND WHISTLES) (LOW, FOREBODING MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS GRADUALLY) (MUSIC BECOMES SINISTER) (GRUNTS) (EXHALES HEAVILY) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - (SHIVERS SOFTLY) - (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) (BREATHES SLOWLY) MUFFLED: 'Hey, Mitchell. (BREATHES HEAVILY) WEAKLY: 'I'm not well. 'Humph. 'It'd be so fuckin' easy. 'Id just pull this right across your throat, 'and I cover you in this hole, Mitchell, 'and leave you in this godforsaken hellhole forever. 'You'd have to be outta mind. (LOW, UNSETTLED MUSIC) 'No, that happened a while ago. (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) 'And I still can't do it.' (SOFT SOBBING) 'Why are you in the hole? 'Cos it's warmer.' (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) (WIND WHISTLES) (FOREBODING MUSIC) (GRUNTING) (FOREBODING MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (SHIVERS) (MUSIC FADES) (WIND WHISTLES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) (BRAKES WHINE SOFTLY) WHEEZES SOFTLY: We're here. (ENGINE IDLES) WEAKLY: You` Do you hear something? (GRUNTS) I'd have done things differently. I'd have made changes. Yeah, me, too. You know, it wasn't that bad of an idea; it's just we... (GULPS) We just didn't do it right. (SIGHS) Well, next time. (WIND WHISTLES) (LOW, UNSETTLED MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) (MUSIC BECOMES SOLEMN) (SIGHS, SNIFFLES) (SNIFFLES REPEATEDLY) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SCRAPING) SOFTLY: There's gotta be somethin'. (LOW, UNSETTLED MUSIC) (BREATHES HEAVILY) Carter. Carter! (GRUNTS) Carter. Carter. (GRUNTS) Hey, can you walk? (GRUNTS) Look ` I found another dot. That might not even be a town. Uh, well, then, what is it? It might just be a dot. Y-You can't h-have a dot if there's nothin' there, can you? I don't know. OK, look, the sun set over there, so that's west, so we got ` Never Eat Shredded Wheat. OK, so it's... It's... It's southwest, so (STAMMERS) we gotta go that way. What if we get lost... or eaten or... or somethin'? OK, no, w-we use the sun to make sure that we stay in a straight line, OK? I figure in this condition, we could probably go, like, a mile an hour, OK? That's one day to get there. We should just stay near the road,... and then s-someone will come for us. OK, we haven't seen a car since that lady. And what if you're right? What if`? What if this road was closed down, like you said? I can't... I can't keep doin' this. I can't do it. Look, if we're gonna go out, if we're not gonna make it, I wanna go out tryin', all right? OK. (SHIVERS) You go. What? You go. I can't. Shut the fuck up! I'm not goin' without you. I'll be fine. No, you're not fine ` you're lying in a fuckin' hole. Come on! We got three hours until the heat rolls in. You can do it. This is our best shot. I won't make it. Yes, you will, Carter. You remember the Grand Canyon? Remember that? When you tied the rope to me and you pulled me up? Mitchell. You remember that? I lost a lotta blood,... OK? You go. Come on, get up! SOBS: No. Get up! Come on. Get up! Ow! Come on! Wait. Wait! Wait. (BREATHES HEAVILY) Fuck you. Come on. Help me up. Come on. (GROANS) STRAINED: I'll carry your ass. (BOTH GRUNT) (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (LOW, POIGNANT MUSIC) Come on. (EXCLAIMS) (GRUNTS) (EXCLAIMS) (GRUNTS REPEATEDLY) (SIGHS WEAKLY) Come on. (GRUNTS) Come on. Come here. (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) (BREATHES WEAKLY) (UNSETTLED MUSIC) What? I hear somethin'. (CONTINUES BREATHING WEAKLY) (WIND WHISTLES) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS DISTANTLY) (MUSIC PLAYS LOUDER) Hey! VOICE CRACKS: Hey! Hey! Hey! Heeeey! (BREATHES HEAVILY) No. Aah! Hey! Heeeeey! Heeeeey! Aah! (BREATHES HEAVILY) (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY, CLANKING) (MECHANICAL WHIRRING) (SQUEAKING, CLANGING) No! Aah! (SHOUTS REPEATEDLY) - (GROANS) - (HEAVY BREATHING) (COUGHS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS WEAKLY) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) (EXHALES HEAVILY) Forward or backward? (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) (UNSETTLED MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (WIND WHISTLES) (UNSETTLED MUSIC CONTINUES) (DISTANT HOWLING) (DISTANT HOWLING) (GROWLS) (GROWLS) (GROWLS) (SHOUTS REPEATEDLY) (MENACING MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (GRUNTS SOFTLY) - (RUSTLING) - (GRUNTS) (MENACING MUSIC FADES) Oh. (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS SOFTLY) Hey. (GRUNTS) Hey. Got you somethin'. I got you somethin'. (GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) (GRUNTS, BREATHES HEAVILY) Hey. Hey. (GRUNTS) I found something. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) I saw something. (CONTINUES BREATHING HEAVILY) See? WHEEZES: Look! They go to the town, probably. (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) (SOLEMN MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (SOLEMN MUSIC SWELLS) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (SCRAPING) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) SOFTLY: Whoa. Jesus. (GRUNTS) (TAP SQUEAKS) (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) Come on. (SOLEMN MUSIC FADES) We good? Yeah, let's go. (TAP SQUEAKS) After you. After you. All right. Let's just... (BOTH GRUNT) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GRUNTS) Is it heavy? Yeah. (CELL PHONE RINGS) (CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) Answer it. (BEEP!) Hello. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Hello. Hello! (BOTH LAUGH) (SOBS) (CONTINUES LAUGHING) (LAUGHS) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) Yeah. (SIREN WAILS DISTANTLY) (GENTLE, SUBDUED MUSIC) (SIGHS) (GENTLE, SUBDUED MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (DOG BARKS) Ah, you remember Uncle Carter? Yeah? Huh? Hi, dog! (ENGINE IDLES) (CHUCKLING) Wassup? How are you, man? STRAINED: Oh, I'm good. (ENGINE STOPS) Remember Uncle Carter? Real good. Hey, Cole. Hi. Hi. Low five. (CHUCKLING) This is everything. Yeah? That's it, huh? CHUCKLES GENTLY: Yeah. Are you sure about this? Hey, Cole. Yes? Why don't you show Uncle Carter his new room, huh? Yes. Yes? Oh, good boy, Cole. All right, let's do it. All right. Thanks. You got it. So is this it? This is it. All right. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (LOW, INTRIGUING MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC BECOMES GENTLE, WARM) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (INAUDIBLE SPEECH) (SPEAKS INAUDIBLY) (GENTLE, WARM MUSIC CONTINUES) (INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION) (GENTLE, WARM MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC FADES) All right, buddy, let's go. (GRUNTS) All right. There you go. You ready? Are you sure you're OK with this? Kidding me, man? It's the least I can do. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) Besides, it'll give me a chance to knock out a big chunk. Yeah. I'm proud of you, man. Well, it's just flowing from me now. (BOTH CHUCKLE) How long's it gonna take you guys to circumnavigate the world? You know, we're gonna stay with the parents for a couple days, and I'm still not entirely sure we're gonna get through that, but if we do, the tickets are open-ended, so we'll just pick a continent and stay until we get bored or, you know, run outta money. You know, she's not... what I thought, you know? I mean,... I never really knew. Yeah, well, she said the same thing about you. Yeah. All right, come here, you. All right, see you. All right. Be good. All right. Be safe. All right. All right. (GENTLE, WARM MUSIC) (MUSIC BECOMES UNSETTLED) (GASPS, BREATHES HEAVILY) (UNSETTLED MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (BEEP!) (LINE RINGS) PHONE: Hello? Hey. I wake ya? No, I just finishing some stuff up. What's goin' on? Ehhh, you know,... (CLICKS TONGUE) I just wanted someone to talk to. I'm feeling... weird. Has it occurred to you that maybe you need some sleep? (SIGHS) I guess... I thought that I was past the point where I really believed that people could change, you know? At least, the point where I thought that I could. Sounds like a pleasant surprise, no? Uh, yeah. absolutely, but I'm just not sure I believe it. Believe what? That I'm really doin' this. Well, what exactly is the alternative? Well, this is gonna sound a little crazy. Imagine that ` you called me in the middle of the night with something that sounds a little crazy (!) Part of me believes that... we never made it outta that desert,... that we're just lyin' there, overcome... and this is just all part of our imagination. I told you this was gonna sound crazy, but... And you didn't sell it short. (SIGHS) A-Are you tellin' me that you're not at all suspicious that things have gone so smoothly? Suspicious? No. I'm stunned; I'm impressed, but I'm not suspicious. Well, maybe you should be. I mean, think about it ` things may be just a little too good to be true, you know what I mean? Believe me, if I was making this up, there'd be a lot more lottery winning and supermodelling. (CHUCKLES DRILY) Well, at least convince me that it's probable, you know, that life really can turn on a dime, that you really can, I dunno, reinvent yourself. Which is harder to believe, that things are finally going the way you always wanted them to or that the only way it could be this good is if it's all in your head? I dunno. You don't have an opinion on that? Well, I don't know about you, but this better be reality for me, because if we're still out in the middle of the desert somewhere, I just finished an imaginary book. Wow, that's` that's really, really fast. So, uh, tell me how it ends. Well, that's the funny thi... (STATIC CLICKS) Carter? Carter. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) Piece of shit. (CELL PHONE CLATTERS) (CELL PHONE RINGS) (UNSETTLING MUSIC BUILDS) (CELL PHONE CONTINUES RINGING) (CELL PHONE RINGS DISTANTLY) (CELL PHONE RINGING FADES) (WIND WHISTLES) (UNSETTLING MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (MUSIC CRESCENDOS) (WIND WHISTLES) (MUSIC ENDS ABRUPTLY) (WIND CONTINUES WHISTLING) (SOLEMN ACOUSTIC GUITAR MUSIC) Captions by Shrutika Gunanayagam. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 (SOLEMN ACOUSTIC MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES)