CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2016 GIRL COUGHS ENOUGH ALREADY. I'VE HEARD JASON PRIESTLEY ONLY CARES ABOUT ONE THING ` VOLUME. IT'S NOT GONNA MATTER. I'M SURE HE'S DATING JENNIE GARTH OR SHANNEN DOHERTY. STAR MAGAZINE SAID HE WAS SINGLE. MY MOM READS STAR. YOU WANT REAL NEWS? WATCH 'HARD COPY'. EVERYBODY KNOWS ACTORS TOTALLY HOOK UP WITH EACH OTHER WHEN THEY'RE ON THESE SHOWS. MM-MM. NOT TORI SPELLING. APPARENTLY SHE'S A VIRGIN. HA! ONLY ON THE SHOW. DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING IN BACKGROUND HI, TORI. WE LOVE YOU ON '90210'. CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING, PEOPLE CHATTER MAN: IS THIS ON? SO IT IS. > THANK YOU, EVERYBODY, FOR COMING OUT TONIGHT TO CELEBRATE THE MASSIVE SUCCESS OF 'BEVERLY HILLS, 90210'. CHEERING NOW, I'D LIKE TO BRING UP THE MEN WHO MADE IT ALL POSSIBLE ` MR AARON SPELLING AND MR DARREN STAR. CHEERING THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. THIS IS THE MAN OF THE HOUR. DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING, CHEERING CONTINUES WHISTLING DANCE MUSIC FADES THANK YOU, LARRY. TRUTH BE TOLD, I NEVER THOUGHT A SHOW ABOUT TEENAGERS WAS GOING TO WORK. IT JUST DIDN'T SEEM AS PLAUSIBLE AS A CRIME-FIGHTING TEAM COMPRISED OF ONLY HOT WOMEN. LAUGHTER BUT IT NOT ONLY WORKED; OUR SECOND YEAR HAS BEEN EVEN BIGGER THAN OUR FIRST,... MAN: YEAH! CHEERING ...AND I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE THE MAN WHO DESERVES THE MOST CREDIT ` LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, THE CREATOR OF 'BEVERLY HILLS, 90210', MR DARREN STAR. CHEERING, WHISTLING MAN: YEAH! YEAH! WOMAN: GO, DARREN! WOW. UM... BEFORE I GET STARTED, I WANT TO THANK THE PERSON WHO HAS TAUGHT ME EVERYTHING I KNOW ABOUT TELEVISION ` MY PRODUCER, MY MENTOR, MY FRIEND ` AARON SPELLING. THANK YOU. DANCE MUSIC PLAYS, APPLAUSE, CHEERING THANK YOU. YOU DID IT ALL, KID. CHEERING CONTINUES, DANCE MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING PEOPLE CHATTER, LAUGHTER LARRY'S BEEN STALKING ME ALL NIGHT. I DON'T BLAME HIM. '90210' IS HOT. OF COURSE HE WANTS A SPIN-OFF. BUT I DON'T WANNA JUST DO A COLLEGE VERSION. I'VE BEEN THINKING IT SHOULD BE MORE LIKE 'ST ELMO'S FIRE'. YOU MEAN THAT MOVIE WITH ALL THE RAT-PACKERS? YEAH. LIKE AFTER COLLEGE WHEN EVERYTHING'S STARTING TO HAPPEN ` 20-SOMETHINGS TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHO THEY ARE, WHAT THEY WANT FROM LIFE. I WANT A GROUP OF CHARACTERS FROM TOTALLY DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS. FIRST, WE'LL START WITH THE MOTORCYCLE-RIDING BAD BOY FROM THE WRONG SIDE OF TRACKS. ENGINE RUMBLES ROCK MUSIC LIKE A HELLS ANGEL? NO. UH, A JAMES DEAN TYPE, LIKE DYLAN BUT OLDER ` YOU KNOW, COOL OUTSIDER. ENGINE ROARS ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC MUCH BETTER. AND AN ALL-AMERICAN GIRL-NEXT-DOOR TYPE. POP MUSIC DOG BARKS SOUNDS BORING. WELL, WHAT ABOUT AN INCREDIBLY GORGEOUS ALL-AMERICAN GIRL-NEXT-DOOR TYPE? DOG PANTS POP MUSIC NOW YOU'RE TALKING. AND A STRUGGLING WRITER DESPERATE TO EXPERIENCE LIFE JUST SO HE HAS SOMETHING TO WRITE ABOUT. BUT HE'S NOT YOUR TYPICAL WRITER; HE'S ATHLETIC, HAS A SIX-PACK, GOES OUTSIDE OCCASIONALLY ` NO OFFENCE. THE MAGIC OF TELEVISION. BOTH LAUGH OF COURSE WE'LL HAVE AN ATTRACTIVE CAST, JUST LIKE WE DO ON '90210', BUT WHAT'S DIFFERENT HERE IS THAT THESE CHARACTERS ARE OUT ON THEIR OWN, SOME FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME. THERE'S NO FAMILY TO CATCH THEM WHEN THEY FALL. THEY ONLY HAVE EACH OTHER. ONE OF OUR CHARACTERS IS AN AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR. SHE'S FUN. SHE'S FRIENDLY. SHE'S ALWAYS IN EVERYBODY'S BUSINESS. WE'RE THINKING OF CASTING AN AFRICAN AMERICAN FOR THAT ROLE. AND HER BEST FRIEND ` A SOCIAL WORKER WHO'S A LITTLE TOO NICE FOR HIS OWN GOOD AND HAPPENS TO BE GAY. GAY AS IN HOMOSEXUAL? NO. GAY AS IN HAPPY-GO-LUCKY (!) YES, HOMOSEXUAL. THAT COULD BE RISKY. WHEN 'THIRTYSOMETHING' SHOWED TWO GAY GUYS IN BED, ABC LOST $1 MILLION IN ADVERTISING, AND THEY WEREN'T EVEN TOUCHING, AARON. COME ON, LARRY. TIMES ARE CHANGING. 20 YEARS FROM NOW, BEING GAY IS GOING TO BE LIKE OWNING A STATION WAGON. LET'S JUMP ON IT WHILE IT'S STILL NOW AND EDGY. HMM. OK. WE FINALLY LOCKED JAKE AFTER READING WHAT FELT LIKE A THOUSAND ACTORS. AND FOR ALISON, WE HAVE IT NARROWED DOWN TO COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH AND COURTENEY COX, WHO YOU MAY REMEMBER FROM 'FAMILY TIES'. DON'T FORGET 'DANCING IN THE DARK' WITH BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN. LIKE I COULD FORGET. OK. WHAT ABOUT THE BILLY CHARACTER? WE HAD A LOT OF GOOD AUDITIONS ` JASON BATEMAN, PAUL RUDD, STEPHEN DALE, MATTHEW PERRY. I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS ALL WEEK, AND MY GUT SAYS... WE GO WITH DALE. ME TOO. HE'S CANADIAN, NOT REALLY KNOWN HERE, BUT IT'S GOOD TO HAVE A FRESH FACE, AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, HE'S IN GREAT SHAPE, WHICH, JUDGING BY THE SCRIPT, HE'S GONNA NEED. GRANT SHOW WILL BE JAKE, OUR SENSITIVE BAD BOY, WHO, AS YOU KNOW, WE'VE ALREADY INTRODUCED ON '90210'. WE'LL HAVE KELLY FALL FOR HIM. IT WILL SET UP THE NEW WORLD, AND WHO DOESN'T LOVE THE IDEA OF A YOUNG GIRL WITH AN OLDER MAN? MEN CHUCKLE ON TELEVISION, OF COURSE. (CHUCKLES) VANESSA WILLIAMS IS GOING TO PLAY OUR AEROBICS INSTRUCTOR. SHE IS A GREAT FIND ` AMAZING ENERGY. HAVING HER IS GOING TO HELP EXPAND OUR AUDIENCE. THAT IS NOT VANESSA WILLIAMS. YOU'RE THINKING OF 'MISS AMERICA' VANESSA WILLIAMS. SHE'S A SINGER. THIS IS VANESSA A. WILLIAMS, THE ACTRESS. HUH. SHE LOOKS LIKE SHE COULD BE MISS AMERICA TOO. I AGREE. THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CAST WE EVER PUT TOGETHER. I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT 'EM TO ACT OR BREED. OR BOTH. OOH-HOO. BOTH CHUCKLE COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH WILL BE ALISON, A GIRL FROM THE MIDWEST DETERMINED TO MAKE IT AS A CORPORATE EXECUTIVE. AND SHE'LL ENCOUNTER ALL THE TEMPTATIONS OF THE BIG CITY. DOUG SAVANT PLAYS MATT, THE SOCIAL WORKER. IS HE STILL GAY? HE IS STILL GAY. I DON'T KNOW. WELL, WE COULD MAKE HIM A COMMUNITY ORGANISER... WHO IS STILL GAY. NOT SURE THAT'S ANY BETTER. LIKE WE TALKED ABOUT, IT'S GOOD TO COURT A LITTLE CONTROVERSY. WHO'S NEXT, AARON? NEXT UP IS STEPHEN DALE. HE PLAYS BILLY, THE ONE WHO DREAMS OF BEING A WRITER. HE'S GOT A STOMACH LIKE A WASHBOARD. AND THEN THERE'S THE ABSOLUTELY GORGEOUS AMY LOCANE PLAYING SANDY, THE SOUTHERN GIRL WHO WANTS TO BE A MOVIE STAR AND WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE IT HAPPEN. WE'VE FOUND A TERRIFIC NEW YORK THEATRE ACTOR BY THE NAME OF THOMAS CALABRO. HE PLAYS MICHAEL, THE ER DOCTOR WHO ALSO MANAGES THE APARTMENT COMPLEX. AND FINALLY, THERE'S THE RED-HOT JOSIE BISSETT PLAYING HIS WIFE ` ONLY 22 YEARS OLD, YET EVERY SHOW ON TELEVISION WANTED JOSIE THIS YEAR, BUT WE GOT HER. SO, LARRY,... (EXHALES) < ...WHAT DO YOU THINK? PHONE RINGS IN BACKGROUND WHAT DO I THINK? INTRIGUING MUSIC CLICK! TO BE HONEST, AARON, I THINK THAT YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A GREEN LIGHT. BOTH LAUGH CONGRATULATIONS. YOU'RE A GREAT EXECUTIVE, LARRY. OH, I AM TODAY, I'M SURE. THANKS, LARRY. GREAT STUFF. THANK YOU. WE DID IT. I'VE BEEN SO EXCITED, I HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SLEEP. OH, I KNOW A FEW YOGA POSES THAT COULD REALLY HELP WITH THAT. SLEEP IS OVERRATED. THAT'S SOMETHING JOHNNY TAUGHT ME. JOHNNY? JOHNNY DEPP. I WAS IN 'CRY-BABY' WITH HIM. OH, THAT'S RIGHT. I TOTALLY FORGOT. YOU HAVE TO TELL US EVERYTHING. IS HE NICE? IS HE FUNNY? WAIT. IS HE STILL DATING WINONA RYDER? DID YOU GET TO KISS HIM? DIDN'T YOU SEE THE MOVIE? HE TEACHES HER A FRENCH KISS. THEN THEY RIDE A MOTORCYCLE. OH, THERE'S THIS CHICKEN RACE. AND A LOT MORE HAPPENED OFF-CAMERA, LET ME TELL YOU. SO, THE FIRST STORY IS ABOUT AN ACTING COACH... I DON'T KNOW. IT'S DEFINITELY SUNNIER THAN CANADA, BUT I FEEL LIKE EVENTUALLY I'M GONNA MISS HAVING SEASONS. OH, NO, WE HAVE SEASONS ` SMOG SEASON, RIOT SEASON, EARTHQUAKE SEASON. YOU CAN USE A POOL FOR PRETTY MUCH ALL OF THEM. (CHUCKLES) THAT'S WHY WE HAVE A POOL. (CHUCKLES) NO, WE HAVE A POOL BECAUSE IT'S AN EXCUSE TO GET THE CAST IN BATHING SUITS IN PEACE. HOPEFULLY JUST YOU GIRLS. I'M NOT WEARING A GRAPE SMUGGLER. (CHUCKLES) I JUST THINK, 'TV, WHO CAN'T DO THAT?' YOU GET A MILLION TAKES, AND IF IT STILL STINKS, THEY FIX IT IN EDITING. THEATRE ACTING, THOUGH, THAT'S THE REAL THING. I GUESS, BUT WHO EVEN GOES TO THE THEATRE, ANYWAYS? OLD, RICH PEOPLE AND TOURISTS. OK. AND YOU KNOW WHO WATCHES TV? HOT BABES. AH. HEY, IT'S ALL JUST GETTING PAID TO PRETEND, RIGHT? WE'RE LUCKY TO BE HERE. YEAH, GOTTA PAY THE BILLS, I GUESS. I COULD THINK OF WORSE WAYS TO DO IT. YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU'RE RIGHT. I BET DELIVERING PIZZAS WOULD BE WORSE. I USED TO DELIVER PIZZAS. OH. THAT'S GOOD. UH, I-I MEAN, THAT'S COOL. I MEAN, IT PROBABLY BEATS WORKING CONSTRUCTION, RIGHT? I USED TO WORK CONSTRUCTION. OK. UH... WELL... JUST MESSING WITH YOU. ALL LAUGH FUNNY. FUNNY. I'M GONNA GET YOU. HILARIOUS. WOMEN LAUGH OH. OK. STEPHEN, YOU'RE GONNA COME OUT OF THE BEDROOM AND HIT YOUR MARK HALFWAY DOWN. GOT IT. LIGHT MUSIC MAN: PICTURE'S UP. AND ROLL SOUND. SOUND SPEED. AND ACTION. LIGHT MUSIC CONTINUES 1 BIRDS TWITTER NOT EXACTLY WHAT I HAD IN MIND WITH JIGGLE TV. WHAT HAPPENED? HE WENT BACK TO CANADA FOR TWO MONTHS TO VISIT FAMILY. APPARENTLY HE ATE THEM. (CHUCKLES) WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR HIM TO LOSE THE WEIGHT. THEN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO FIRE HIM. MM-HM. ME? THE KEY IS TO DO IT IN A WAY TO MAKE HIM STILL LOVE YOU, BECAUSE IN THIS BUSINESS, YOU NEVER KNOW WHERE PEOPLE ARE GONNA END UP. FIRE HIM 'EM THIS YEAR, THEY'RE A STAR THE NEXT. ALWAYS PRESERVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. LARRY, WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THE BUDGET. WE'RE UNDERSTAFFED AS IT IS. HI` HI STEPHEN. IT'S` IT'S` IT'S... (SIGHS) UH... BEEPING PHONE RINGS HELLO? HI, STEPHEN. IT'S DARREN STAR. OH, HEY, DARREN. HOW'S IT GOING? UH, I JUST GOTTA SAY, I HAD THE BEST TIME ON SET YESTERDAY. I'M REALLY EXCITED FOR THE SHOW. STEPHEN, WE ACTUALLY` WE` WE NEED TO TALK. I, UM... WELL, I'VE GOT SOME BAD NEWS. CRICKETS CHIRP INTRIGUING MUSIC DADDY, THAT'S HORRIBLE. FIRED AFTER TWO DAYS? (SIGHS) I FEEL BAD FOR HIM. UNFORTUNATELY, TORI, HE LEFT US WITH NO CHOICE, AND NOW WE'RE STUCK WITH FINDING A REPLACEMENT FOR MONDAY. THIS MONDAY? YES. ALL OUR RUNNER-UPS FOR THAT ROLE HAVE BEEN CAST IN OTHER SHOWS. WE'RE IN A REAL BIND. BUT YOU ALWAYS SAID THERE'S TONS OF HOT ACTORS IN THIS TOWN. I BEAT I CAN EVEN FIND A DOZEN AT THE MALL TODAY. WELL, YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THE BRANDON AND BRENDA ROLES ON YOUR SHOW, SWEETHEART. MAYBE YOU CAN HELP ME OUT AGAIN. WHO DO YOU LIKE HERE? MM, WHAT ABOUT... THIS GUY? ANDREW SHUE. ANDREW SHUE. IT SAYS HERE HE'S A GRADUATE OF DARKMOUTH, FORMER ALL-AMERICAN SOCCER PLAYER. WELL, WE KNOW AT LEAST THIS ONE WILL STAY THIN. OH, AARON, YOU'RE TERRIBLE. WELL, IT'S TRUE. ALSO, HE'S THE BROTHER OF ELISABETH SHUE. WELL, CLEARLY, TALENT RUNS IN HIS FAMILY. I GOTTA MAKE A PHONE CALL. (CHUCKLES) TORI, HONEY, I LOVE YOU. BIRDS TWITTER INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES 1 1 SOTTO VOCE: (CHUCKLES) WOW. ALL OF THE CLASSICS ` FANTASY ISLAND, HART TO HART, THE LOVE BOAT. (CHUCKLES) INDISTINCT CHATTER THE OLD GOOD COP, BAD COP. I LIKE IT. ANDREW, THANKS FOR STICKING AROUND. WELL, KID,... YOU BLEW US AWAY. CONGRATULATIONS. YOU GOT THE PART. WE'RE THRILLED TO HAVE YOU ON BOARD, ANDREW. WOW. REALLY? WHEN DO I START? MONDAY. LIKE, THE-DAY-AFTER-TOMORROW MONDAY? HE KNOWS THE CALENDAR TOO. I TOLD YOU THESE DARTMOUTH BOYS ARE SMART, HUH? ALL CHUCKLE COME ON OUT, EVERYONE. ANDREW, MEET OUR HAIR, MAKE-UP AND WARDROBE TEAM. YOU'LL BE IN GOOD HANDS. WE'LL SEE YOU ON MONDAY. LOOK AT YOU, AND LOOK AT THAT HAIR. WHAT KIND OF PRODUCTS ARE YOU USING RIGHT NOW? PRODUCTS? YEAH. UH, DO YOU HAVE ANY MAKE-UP ALLERGIES THAT WE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT? THAT'S IMPORTANT. MAKE-UP. AND ONE, TWO, OVER HERE AND FLASHING. CLICK! THIS IS MY PERSONAL CONDITIONER. I WANT YOU TO START USING THIS UP TO SEVEN TIMES A DAY. YEAH. RIGHT. OK, ANDREW, THIS IS YOUR CALL SHEET. ALL OF THE PHONE NUMBERS YOU'LL NEED ARE HERE. AND, NOW, FOX PRESS AND MARKETING WILL BE CONTACTING YOU SOME TIME THIS WEEK TO MAKE SURE YOU DON'T TALK TO ANYONE BEFORE. THE WRITERS WILL ALSO BE CONTACTING YOU SHORTLY JUST TO GO OVER A FEW THINGS... ACTUALLY, IT'S AMAZING ANYONE CHOSES TO BE AN ACTOR. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? THEY MAKE TONS OF MONEY FOR PLAYING MAKE-BELIEVE. IT'S THE BEST JOB IN THE WORLD. IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS OR JUST NEED TO TALK, HAVE DINNER, MY NUMBER'S AT THE TOP OF THE CALL SHEET FOR YOU. AND CONGRATULATIONS ON BOOKING THE ROLE OF BILLY, MR SHUE. (CHUCKLES) HAVE FUN ON SET. ENGINE STARTS, REVS UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC PEOPLE CHATTER WOMEN CHUCKLE OK, EVERYBODY. SUCK IT IN. YOU KNOW THE CAMERA ADDS 10 POUNDS. I HOPE NOT. 10 POUNDS CAN GET YOU FIRED. IT CAN? YOU PLAY SOCCER EVERY DAY. JUST REMEMBER TO KEEP CHASING AROUND THE LITTLE BALL. DAMN. IS IT TOO LATE TO RETURN THAT, UH, 'WELCOME TO THE CAST' CAKE I BOUGHT? ALL LAUGH HEY, BRING THAT TO MY TRAILER, WILL YA? I'LL TAKE IT. I'LL BRING SOMETHING ELSE TO YOUR TRAILER. > LAUGHTER I'LL HOLD YOU TO THAT. LAUGHTER CONTINUES CLICK! CLICK! SO, FOX HAS DECIDED TO SPEND A FORTUNE TO MARKET THE SHOW. < CLICK! I JUST PRAY IT'S A HIT. < CLICK! YOU AND ME BOTH. TOM COCHRANE'S 'LIFE IS A HIGHWAY' COME ON. WE'RE WATCHING 'MELROSE PLACE'. I'M WATCHING THE GAME. IT'S NOT EVEN ON YET. SHH. SHH. UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES # LIFE'S LIKE A ROAD THAT YOU TRAVEL ON, WHEN THERE'S ONE DAY HERE AND THE NEXT DAY GONE. # SOMETIMES YOU BEND. SOMETIMES YOU STAND. SOMETIMES YOU TURN YOU BACK TO THE WIND. # THERE'S A WORLD OUTSIDE EVERY DARKENED DOOR WHERE BLUES WON'T HAUNT YOU ANY MORE, # WHERE THE BRAVE ARE FREE AND LOVERS SOAR. COME RIDE WITH ME TO THE DISTANT SHORE. OH! (CHUCKLES) GOSH. # BREAK DOWN THE GARDEN GATE. THERE'S NOT MUCH TIME LEFT TODAY. # LIFE IS A HIGHWAY! GIRLS CHUCKLE # ...ALL NIGHT LONG. ENGINE ROARS # IF YOU'RE GOING MY WAY... CLICK! # ...ALL NIGHT LONG. ENGINE RUMBLES # THROUGH ALL THESE CITIES AND ALL THESE TOWNS, IT'S IN MY BLOOD, AND IT'S ALL AROUND. # I LOVE YOU NOW LIKE I LOVED YOU THEN. THIS IS THE ROAD, AND THESE ARE THE HILLS. WHAT? (GASPS) GRANT, WHAT IS THAT?! AH! WOMEN CHUCKLE # KNOCK ME DOWN AND BACK UP AGAIN. OK. GOOD. # ...LONELY MAN. THERE'S NO LOAD I CAN'T HOLD. THE ROAD'S SO ROUGH. OH GOD. THAT GRANT SHOW IS SO HOT. I WANNA CLIMB HIM LIKE A TREE. MM-HM. WELL, WHAT DOES HE GOT THAT I DON'T? # I WANT TO RIDE IT... BOTH: SERIOUSLY? # ...ALL NIGHT LONG. < HEY, EVERYBODY, LISTEN UP. THE REVIEWS ARE IN. < READS: 'IT'S LIKE EACH APARTMENT ON MELROSE PLACE CAME WITH A FREE LOBOTOMY 'AND A GIFT CERTIFICATE FROM 'THE GAP' ` 'OF COURSE, BECAUSE THERE'S NO DEPTH. THE STORYLINES ARE SAFE AND SHALLOW.' HEY, I'LL TAKE YOUR SAFE AND SHALLOW STORYLINES IF YOU DON'T WANT THEM. I MEAN, I DIDN'T EXPECT THE SHOW TO WIN AN EMMY, BUT I ALSO DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD GET SLAMMED LIKE THIS. WELL, I HOPE IT DOESN'T GET CANCELLED. I WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO BEING PART OF A SHOW THAT LASTED MORE THAN ONE SEASON. THE SHOW GETS CANCELLED, I'LL JUST GO BACK TO NEW YORK, DO SOME REAL ACTING IN THE THEATRE. LIGHT MUSIC ALL RIGHT. UH, WHO WANTS TO HELP ME BUY MY PLANE TICKET BACK TO NEW YORK? ANYONE? LAUGHTER READS: "'MELROSE PLACE', THE SUMMER'S MOST HIGHLY ANTICIPATED SERIES, "HAS THE ODOUR OF CLONED CREATIVE STALEMATE. "PUT IT THIS WAY ` IF YOU LOVE 'BEVERLY HILLS, 90210', YOU PROBABLY DESERVE 'MELROSE'." OUCH. OK. WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? 16 MILLION PEOPLE SMELLED THAT ODOUR, AND THEY LOVED IT. 16 MILLION WATCHED THE FIRST EPISODE, BUT WE SLIPPED FOR THE SECOND, THIRD AND FOURTH. THEY KEEP DROPPING AND` OK, OK, IT TOOK SOME TIME FOR '90210' TO BECOME A HIT TOO. BINGO. NO BINGO. PEOPLE ONLY GAVE '90210' A CHANCE BECAUSE FOX DOESN'T DO NEWS, AND WHEN SADDAM INVADED KUWAIT, WE WERE THE ONLY THING ON AIR THAT WASN'T ENTIRELY FOCUSED ON THE GULF WAR. WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE EPISODE WHERE BRANDON LAUNCHED THE SCUD AT THE PEACH PIT? EXPLAIN TO ME HOW YOU GOT HIRED AGAIN. I HAVE NO IDEA. I'M JUST SAYING YOU SHOULD LET AMY GO. HER CHARACTER DOESN'T POP, AND HER ACCENT'S ALL OVER THE PLACE. THE CAST NEEDS SOME TIME, BUT THEY'LL GEL EVENTUALLY, EVEN AMY. LOOK AT THAT ` ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST. WELL, I'M SURE THEY WOULD'VE FIGURED IT OUT EVENTUALLY, LIKE 'ROUND TABLE' OR '2000 MALIBU ROAD' OR EVERY OTHER CANCELLED SHOW THIS SEASON. AARON, I DON'T WANNA GET CANCELLED BEFORE WE'VE HAD A DECENT SHOT. THIS IS YOUR SHOT. MY ADVICE IS TO START THINKING ABOUT HOW TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS, OR BOTH OUR CAREERS ARE IN THE CRAPPER ` PEOPLE CHATTER WELL, YOURS, ANYWAY. (CHUCKLES) DOORS CLOSE, ENGINE HUMS INTRIGUING MUSIC 1 COFFEE FOR YOU? YOU TOO? OK. BIRD TWITTERS, PEOPLE CHATTER DAPHNE? I AM NOT READY. I'M WAITING FOR A FRIEND. OH. I'M NOT YOUR WAITRESS. I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH I LOVED 'THE SURE THING',... OH. ...AND, YOU KNOW, I ACTUALLY LOST MY VIRGINITY TO A CAR WHO LOOKS EXACTLY LIKE JOHN CUSACK, SO YOU AND ME HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. OK. WOW. (CHUCKLES) HEY, DAPHNE. SORRY I'M LATE. DID YOU ALREADY ORDER? SHE'S NOT OUR WAITRESS. I JUST CAME TO TELL HER HOW MUCH I LOVE HER WORK. WELL, THEN THAT MAKES TWO OF US. OH, DON'T TRY AND BUTTER ME UP. YOU ARE IN THE DOGHOUSE, MISTER. I KNOW, I KNOW. I'M SORRY. IT'S BEEN WAY TOO LONG,... BOTH CHUCKLE ...BUT TRUST ME, I BARELY HAVE TIME TO SLEEP THESE DAYS. IS IT THAT CRAZY? ARE YOU KIDDING? I HAVE TWO SHOWS. ONE, OBVIOUSLY, IS STILL FINDING ITS AUDIENCE. WELL, I LOVE IT. MELROSE REMINDS ME OF OUR COLLEGE DAYS. WHICH I HAVE NEVER FORGOTTEN. THAT IS WHY I WANNA OFFER YOU A ROLE ON THE SHOW. WHAT? ARE YOU SERIOUS? MM-HM. DARREN, I WOULD LOVE IT. REALLY? YES! DID YOU WANT ME TO BEG? ACTUALLY, COULD YOU BEG JUST A LITTLE BIT? I WAS GOING TO. YOU DON'T HAVE TO BEG. OH MY GOD. I'M SO EXCITED. ALL RIGHT. HOLD ON. BEFORE YOU SAY YES, LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT YOUR CHARACTER. OK. HER NAME IS JO. SHE'S A PHOTOGRAPHER. SHE'S A BIT MYSTERIOUS. SHE DOESN'T TALK ABOUT HER PAST. I WANNA BRING THIS EAST-COAST EDGE TO THE SHOW. SHE'S ARTSY, AND SHE'S MORE WORLDLY THAN ALL THE OTHER CHARACTERS. I'M THINKING THAT SHE COMES FROM NEW YORK CITY, AND I REALLY WANT THE AUDIENCE TO WONDER ABOUT HER. HEY. FIRST DAY AT SCHOOL? UH, YES. (CHUCKLES) I'M DAPHNE ZUNIGA. WELCOME, DAPHNE. I'M DOUG SAVANT. (CHUCKLES) COME ON. LET ME CARRY YOUR BOOKS TO CLASS, INTRODUCE YOU TO THE OTHER KIDS. BOTH CHUCKLE PEOPLE CHATTER WELCOME TO GLAMOROUS SANTA CLARITA. IS THAT WHERE WE ARE? I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THE HIGHWAY CAME OUT THIS FAR. (CHUCKLES) YOU WANT THE GRAND TOUR, 'ENTERTAINMENT TONIGHT' STYLE? I'LL BE MARY HART. IMITATES HART: (CLEARS THROAT) AND HERE, THE WORLD OF 'MELROSE PLACE' IS BEING BUILT BY HAND, AND RIGHT HERE. (CHUCKLES) AH, AND A SURPRISE FOR YOU HERE ` A CHAIR WITH YOUR NAME ON IT. AND OVER THERE, YOU SEE 'MELROSE PLACE' STARS COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH AND ANDREW SHUE REHEARSING AN INTIMATE SCENE. 32 EPISODES A SEASON ` I GUESS YOU GOTTA REHEARSE WHEN YOU CAN. WELL, THEY REHEARSE THAT ONE PRETTY FREQUENTLY. OH. HEY, GUYS, I THINK YOU GOT IT DOWN. COME MEET DAPHNE. CHATTER CONTINUES WE WERE JUST GOING OVER SOME OF THE NEW ADJUSTMENTS. MM-HM. I'M COURTNEY. I HEAR MY CHARACTER'S INSPIRED BY YOU. OH, I DON'T KNOW. YOU'VE REALLY MADE IT YOUR OWN. THANKS. ANDREW. NICE TO MEET YOU. CLATTERING IN BACKGROUND SO, YOU AND DARREN REALLY LIVED IN A PLACE THIS NICE RIGHT OUT OF COLLEGE? OH, GOD NO. THEY WOULDN'T LET YOU SHOW THE PLACE WE LIVED IN ON TV. IT WOULD BE WAY TOO SAD. BOTH CHUCKLE MAN: CAST AND KEYS, PLEASE REPORT TO SET FOR SCENE 14. HEY, I'LL COME FIND YOU WHEN WE BREAK FOR LUNCH. CHATTER CONTINUES THEY SEEM NICE. A COUPLE IN REAL LIFE, HUH? THEY LIKE TO KEEP IT QUIET, BUT YEAH. A BUNCH OF ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE WORKING LONG HOURS ` IT'S BOUND TO HAPPEN. NOT FOR ME. I'VE GOT A WIFE AND A KID AND ANOTHER ONE ON THE WAY. OH. DOUG. OH, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE VANESSA. 'MAY THE SCHWARTZ BE WITH YOU.' (CHUCKLES) I SEE I'M NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO LOVED YOU IN 'SPACEBALLS'. YOUR CHARACTER JO'S GONNA HAVE TO GET HER OWN GAY BEST FRIEND, COS MATT HERE BELONGS TO RHONDA. JO DOESN'T MAKE ANY OF HER OWN DECISIONS. IT'S ALL UP TO DARREN. HOPEFULLY HE'S FEELING GENEROUS ` FINGERS CROSSED. ACTUALLY, WE WANT TO TAKE A COUPLE OF OUR CHARACTERS IN A DIFFERENT DIRECTION. IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ABOUT RELIGION, POLITICS OR THE PLIGHT OF THE HOMELESS, I SWEAR TO GOD` NO, NO. YOU'RE GONNA LIKE THIS. WE WANT MICHAEL TO CHEAT ON JANE WITH KIMBERLY. MARCIA CROSS HAS BEEN AMAZING AS KIMBERLY. IF THE EMMYS WERE TONIGHT, SHE'D WIN ALL OF THEM. BUT THIS WILL BE A GREAT ARC FOR BOTH CHARACTERS. UNTIL NOW, MICHAEL HAS JUST BEEN THIS YOUNG, COCKY DOCTOR WHO HAS FLIRTED WITH BEING A JERK, BUT WE WANNA TAKE HIM FULLY TO THE JERK SIDE BY HAVING HIM CHEAT WITH KIMBERLY. BELIEVE ME, THOMAS CAN DO THIS. HEY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO CONVINCE ME. I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE SPICING THINGS UP, MAKING IT A LITTLE SOAPY. I TOLD YOU FROM THE BEGINNING. I KNOW. IT'S JUST, I THINK I'M TRYING TO CONVINCE MYSELF. OCCASIONALLY, I'D LIKE TO DEAL WITH SOME REAL ISSUES ON THIS SHOW. DO WHAT I DID ` MAKE SUCCESS YOUR TROJAN HORSE. I SNUCK THROUGH THE GATES WITH 'CHARLIE'S ANGELS' AND 'DYNASTY', AND ONCE INSIDE, I MADE 'AND THE BAND PLAYED ON', BUT I COULDN'T HAVE DONE A MOVIE ABOUT AIDS WITHOUT ALSO DOING A SHOW ABOUT THREE BRALESS WOMEN FIGHTING CRIME. BE EARNEST LATER. NOTED ` MAKE THE WOMEN ON THE SHOW BRALESS. (CHUCKLES) BELIEVE ME, SOON ENOUGH, YOU'LL BE CONSIDERING STORYLINES WITH HITMEN AND BLACKMAIL AND FROZEN EMBRYOS ` HAPPENS TO ALL OF US. NOW, HOW IS YOUR FRIEND DAPHNE SETTLING IN? SHE'S DEFINITELY GETTING THE HANG OF IT ` OF SOME OF IT. DOOR OPENS, SHUTS SO, GRANT, YOU'RE TIRED. YOU JUST LUGGED A WHOLE BUNCH OF STUFF UP THE STAIRS FOR THIS GIRL, BUT YOU'RE INTERESTED, SO` SO I'M GONNA ACT LIKE IT'S NO PROBLEM. EXACTLY. THEN, DAPHNE, YOU'RE DISTRACTED WITH ALL THIS MOVING GOING ON, AND YOU SUDDENLY REALISE THAT THE POLITE THING TO DO IS TO INVITE HIM IN AND OFFER HIM A DRINK. YOU CAN SAY YOUR FIRST LINES. OH. UH, I'M SORRY. I` I DIDN'T REALISE` NO PROBLEM. AFTER YOUR LINES, GRANT WILL POLITELY DECLINE AND LEAVE YOU STANDING THERE FRUSTRATED, OK? GREAT. SO WE'RE GONNA SHOOT IT THIS WAY, AND THEN WE'RE GONNA TURN IT AROUND AND GRAB GRANT'S REACTION. OK? SECOND TEAM IN. FIRST TEAM OUT. INTRIGUING MUSIC HI. THAT'S MY STAND-IN? OH, I KNOW, RIGHT? THE RESEMBLANCE IS EERIE (!) COME ON. LET'S GRAB SOMETHING TO EAT. DON'T GO TOO FAR. WE'LL BE READY TO SHOOT IN A MINUTE. YOU GOT IT. WE'RE SHOOTING? I THOUGHT THAT WAS BLOCKING, NOT REHEARSAL. WELL, ON THIS SHOW, BLOCKING IS REHEARSAL. (SIGHS) I SHOULD'VE PREPARED MORE. I'M USED TO A FILM SET. IT MOVES MUCH SLOWER. NAH, YOU'LL BE FINE. THIS IS 'MELROSE PLACE', NOT MASTERPIECE THEATRE. (SIGHS) I'M NOT FAMILIAR WITH THE RULES OF SOCCER, BUT IS IT, UH, CUSTOMARY TO PLAY TWO GAMES IN THREE HOURS? IT KEEPS ME SANE, MAN. THIS PLACE IS... YOU OK? BIRDS TWITTER YEAH, YEAH. NOTHING THAT A DAY OF SOCCER CAN'T CURE. INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES HEY, COURTNEY? I'M SORRY, OK? OH, HI. (SIGHS) SOME OF US ARE GONNA GRAB DRINKS TONIGHT IF YOU WANNA JOIN. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU COULD USE ONE ` OR FIVE. NO, NO, I'M GOOD. I'M JUST` I'M JUST TIRED. (SNIFFS) IT'S BEEN, UM` DOUG! THANKS FOR ASKING, THOUGH. HAVE YOU SEEN THIS? WE HAVE TWO SCENES TOTALLING THREE AND A HALF PAGES. GRANT'S ABS GET MORE SCREEN TIME. (CHUCKLES) THEY PROBABLY JUST NEED SPACE TO SET UP DAPHNE'S CHARACTER. AND, UH, I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN TOO LOUDLY ABOUT GRANT'S ABS. I HEAR THEY HAVE A REALLY POWERFUL AGENT. BOTH CHUCKLE YOU WANNA COME UP TO MY PLACE? I CAN POUR YOU A COLD DRINK. THANKS, BUT, UH, MAYBE ANOTHER TIME. I'M GONNA TAKE A LITTLE DIP IN THE POOL. (SIGHS) CLICKING THEY HAVE REAL CHEMISTRY. YEAH, IF WE CAN EVER DO ANYTHING WITH IT. LARRY COMPLAINED THE LAST SCRIPT WAS TOO RACY. HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO GET VIEWERS IF WE CAN'T PUSH THE ENVELOPE? NO RATINGS, NO FREEDOM. THAT'S HOW IT'S ALWAYS WORKED. AND NO FREEDOM, NO RATINGS. THAT'S A NICE CATCH-22 THEY PUT US IN. TONE DOWN THE LITERARY REFERENCES. THEY GIVE ME A HEADACHE. ANYWAY, I ACTUALLY MIGHT HAVE AN IDEA TO GET RATINGS WITHOUT PUSHING THE ENVELOPE ` A SPECIAL GUEST STAR. I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD DO ANY MORE '90210' CROSSOVERS. THERE'S ONLY SO MANY TIMES DONNA CAN COME OVER TO BORROW A CUP OF SUGAR. OH, IT'S NO ONE FROM '90210'. THEN WHO? I DON'T WANNA SAY TILL I'M SURE I CAN GET THEM. WELL, YOU CAN TELL ME. LET'S JUST SAY THEY'RE MY SECRET WEAPON. OH, COME ON. I GOTTA KNOW. IF I TOLD YA, IT WOULDN'T BE A SECRET. WELL, IF THIS IS A PRANK, AND YOU SHOW UP WITH JOE E. TATA, I'M GONNA BE FURIOUS. (CHUCKLES) BY THE WAY, LAURA LEIGHTON STARTS TODAY. WHO? THAT REDHEAD. SHE'S AUDITIONED FOR US HALF A DOZEN TIMES. WE CAST HER FOR A FEW EPISODES, BUT WE MAY WANNA CONSIDER EXTENDING HER. I THINK SHE'S REALLY GOT SOMETHING. WHAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE ARE CREDITS, BUT LET'S SEE HOW SHE DOES. INTRIGUING MUSIC AND HERE YOU GO. PEOPLE CHATTER WAIT. I'M SMOKING IN THIS SCENE? MM-HM. I'VE NEVER SMOKED BEFORE. WELL, I GUESS THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT ACTING. (SIGHS) I'VE ALSO NEVER BEEN ON TV BEFORE. OK. LET'S WELCOME MISS LAURA LEIGHTON TO THE CAST. THIS IS HER FIRST DAY AND HER FIRST SCENE AS SYDNEY ANDREWS. THANKS. HI, LAURA. DO YOU NEED ANY SIDES? NO. UM, I ATE BEFORE I CAME. (CHUCKLES) SCRIPT SIDES. UH, I CAN PUT THEM ON YOUR CHAIR FOR YOU. OH. SURE. THANKS. OH, AND WHATEVER YOU DO, DON'T INHALE, BECAUSE WHEN WE SHOOT THE SCENE FROM ANOTHER ANGLE, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THE SAME NUMBER OF PUFFS. OH GOD. DON'T WORRY, SWEETIE. I'VE GOT YOU COVERED. I'LL KEEP TRACK OF EVERYTHING YOU DO IN THE SCENE AND REMIND YOU. YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT. ALL RIGHT. EVERYONE SETTLE. LAURA, LIGHT UP. CLINK! AND ROLL CAMERA. (COUGHS) HOLD THE ROLL. (CONTINUES COUGHING) ARE YOU ALL RIGHT, LAURA? MM-HM. OK. JUST REMEMBER, DON'T INHALE, RELAX... WE'RE MORE THAN HALFWAY THROUGH THIS SEASON, AND THEY KEEP ADDING NEW CHARACTERS. EITHER THEY'RE REALLY DESPERATE, OR SHE'S REALLY GOOD. OR MAYBE THERE AREN'T ENOUGH INCREDIBLY HOT GIRLS ON THIS SHOW. I HEARD SHE CAN ACT. EVEN IF SHE CAN'T, WHO CARES? THAT BODY ALONE IS WORTH TWO NIELSEN POINTS. OH, TRUST ME, DON'T GO THERE, MAN. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC HE AND COURTNEY HAVING PROBLEMS? NO IDEA. JUST LIKE MY CHARACTER, I WANNA BE INVOLVED AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. YOU'LL BE FINE. OK. WE'RE READY. LET'S SHOOT THIS. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC CONTINUES DID YOU SEE THAT SMILE? (CHUCKLES) LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC CONTINUES (SIGHS) DAMN. But it's hard to let it go. . All right, so, this is Tim. 34-year-old male. RTC. Multi-vehicle... VOICES OVERLAP I think about the car crash a lot. I know he caused it and I reacted the best way possible. But it's hard to let it go. SOMBRE MUSIC When I asked what had happened to him, the doctors said he really wore the impact ` any more and things would've been much worse. They said he was lucky ` lucky I wasn't going any faster. Thank you. SOMBRE MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. MUSIC CONTINUES It's OK. LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC PEOPLE CHATTER I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY JUST GIVE US ALL THIS STUFF FOR FREE. SURE. IT'S FREE ADVERTISING FOR THEM IF WE USE IT OR TALK ABOUT IT. WELL, UNLESS IT SAYS IT'S NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS, I WON'T USE IT. OK, THAT'S ENOUGH. WHY EVEN BOTHER. WHAT'S THE POINT OF THREE HOURS OF WARDROBE IF I HAVE TO GET MY SHIRT TAKEN OF FOR 30 SECONDS IN EACH EPISODE? NICE TO SEE A MAN BEING OBJECTIFIED FOR A CHANGE. ALL LAUGH LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC CONTINUES WHAT'S SO FUNNY OVER HERE? OH, NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LOOKING AT MAKE-UP. WARDROBE PROBLEMS? I'M SHIRTLESS IN EVERY EPISODE. AW. AMERICA PROBABLY HAS MY NIPPLES BURNED IN THEIR TV SCREENS. (CHUCKLES) YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M GONNA STOP WORKING OUT. THAT WAY, THEY'LL LET ME KEEP MY SHIRT ON. NO! PLEASE NO. WOMEN CHUCKLE MARCIA. YOU LITTLE HOMEWRECKER, HUH? FINALLY WE GET SOMETHING JUICY. THAN A MISCARRIAGE. THAT CAME OUT WRONG. THAT WASN'T GREAT EITHER. WELL, I'M SURE AS SOON AS THE AFFAIR GETS BORING, POOR KIMBERLY WILL CONVENIENTLY DECIDE TO CLEAN HER HIGH-POWERED RIFLE COLLECTION OR TAKE A TRAGIC INTEREST IN LANDMINE REMOVAL. (CHUCKLES) OH WELL. IT WAS FUN BEING HERE WHILE IT LASTED. I WOULDN'T BE TOO SURE. ONCE THEY SEE YOU GO FULL TILT ON THESE SCENES... I'VE SEEN YOU ON STAGE. I KNOW WHAT YOU CAN DO. WELL, THAT'S SWEET OF YOU TO SAY. IT'S THE TRUTH. NOW, COME ON. LET'S SHOW THESE MODELS HOW REAL ACTORS DO IT, HUH? BOTH CHUCKLE (GROWLS) BOTH CONTINUE CHUCKLING IF YOU WEREN'T AN ACTOR, WHAT WOULD YOU DO FOR A LIVING? WOULD YOU THINK ABOUT GOING BACK TO PLAYING PRO SOCCER? I DON'T KNOW. UH, I MEAN, I'VE BEEN THINKING I WANNA DO SOMETHING THAT LEAVES THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE, BUT I LOVE THIS JOB, AND, YOU KNOW, (SIGHS) I'M JUST NOT EXACTLY CURING CANCER. WE'LL LEAVE THE CANCER-CURING TO COURTNEY THORNE-SMITH. THIS IS DOUG SAVANT, OUR RESIDENT COMEDIAN. DO YOU THINK YOUR CHARACTER WILL EVER GET A BOYFRIEND? EVENTUALLY. I HOPE SO. IS THERE SOMEONE OFF-SCREEN? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? DO YOU HAVE A SIGNIFICANT OTHER? LET'S SEE. THERE WAS ALEX AND THEN JAMIE AND, UH, NOW PAT. DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION? SO YOUR LOVE LIFE OFF-SCREEN IS ABOUT THE SAME AS IT IS ON-SCREEN? WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT. SO YOU'RE NOT GAY? I WOULDN'T SAY THAT EITHER. PEOPLE CHATTER IN BACKGROUND (CHUCKLES) (LAUGHS) OH, WOW. (CHUCKLES) OK, SO THAT'S OFFICIALLY A NO ON THE POLYGAMY STORYLINE. UH, WHAT ABOUT`? CAN'T WE JUST INJURE SOMEBODY? WE ALREADY HAD A CARJACKING. YEAH, BUT BILLY DIDN'T GET INJURED. HE JUST GOT, YOU KNOW, RACIST. HE WASN'T RACIST. HE JUST NEEDED TO BECOME MORE AWARE THAT THERE ARE RACIAL INEQUALITIES HERE IN LOS ANGELES. RIGHT, BECAUSE HE'S APPARENTLY THE ONLY PERSON NOT AWARE OF THAT AFTER THE WHOLE RODNEY KING BEATING, COS APPARENTLY HE'S ALSO THE ONLY PERSON NOT AWARE OF THAT WHOLE RIOT THING WE HAD HERE IN L.A. WELL, YOU KNOW, NEWS TRAVELS SLOW, ESPECIALLY WHEN IT HITS THE 405. AARON'S RIGHT. PEOPLE IN THIS TOWN ONLY CARE ABOUT TWO THINGS ` WHO'S SCREWING WHO AND WHO'S SCREWING OVER WHO. WHOM. WHO'S SCREWING OVER WHOM. OH. WE SHOULD PROBABLY KNOW THAT, AS WE'RE, YOU KNOW, WRITERS. HMM. IF WE WERE GOOD WRITERS, WE WOULD. PHONE RINGS YEAH. PLEASE. PUT HIM THROUGH. HI, AARON. REALLY? OF COURSE. SHE IS PERFECT. SHE IS GOING TO BE PERFECT. (CHUCKLES) YES. I AM EXCITED. THIS IS GREAT. ALL RIGHT. THANKS, AARON. INTRIGUING MUSIC THAT'S THE BEST PIECE OF NEWS I'VE HEARD SINCE THIS SHOW STARTED. ...PROBABLY DO THAT. I LOVE BOTH. YEAH, ME TOO. I COULD PROBABLY DO THAT. WHAT ABOUT YOU, GRANT? YOU EVER WANNA DO FEATURES? I HAD TO TURN DOWN 'THELMA & LOUISE'. I DOUBT I'LL EVER GET ANOTHER SHOT LIKE THAT. (GASPS) DON'T SAY THAT. OF COURSE YOU WILL. MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT. MAYBE 'THELMA & LOUISE' BOMBS. MAYBE IT'S THE END OF BRAD PITT'S CAREER. WHO'S BRAD PITT? THE NOBODY THEY'RE REPLACING ME WITH. MOVIES AREN'T ALWAYS BETTER THAN TELEVISION. TRUST ME. I'M HAPPY TO HAVE THIS JOB. IT JUST DOESN'T SEEM LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE IT THAT MUCH LONGER. WE'VE ONLY GOT 10 OR 12 EPISODES LEFT THIS SEASON AND NOT A PEEP ABOUT GETTING RENEWED FOR A SECOND. WELL, MAYBE THIS MYSTERIOUS GUEST STAR WILL GET THE NETWORK TO START PEEING. IT MUST BE SOMEONE BIG ` LIKE, BILLY RAY CYRUS BIG. BOTH: MM. UPBEAT MUSIC ENGINE HUMS # OOH. # I CAN SEE YOU WITH THE CORNER OF MY EYE. WHOEVER IT IS, HE'S GONNA HAVE TO BE A HELL OF AN ACTOR TO TURN THIS ENTIRE SERIES AROUND. ACTRESS ` I HEAR THAT 'HE' IS A 'SHE', WHICH PROBABLY MEANS... ...SHE'S GOING TO SLEEP WITH ONE OF US. WHO KNOWS? MAYBE SHE'LL TURN MATT STRAIGHT. # THAT GIRL'S SO SUPER FLY. # I'M SO ADDICTED. WELL, IF ANYBODY COULD DO IT, I'M BETTING IT'LL BE HER. # BUT YOU DON'T EVEN TRY. < OH MY GOD. IS THAT HEATHER LOCKLEAR? # MY BABY. # IN THE FLESH. UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES DID SOMEBODY ORDER A BITCH? ROCK MUSIC PLAYS TOMMY, WOULD YOU RELAX? YOU'RE A GREAT DRUMMER. MOTLEY CRUE'S MUSIC IS TIMELESS. IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO YOUR SINGER IS. I'VE BEEN HEARING RUMOURS ABOUT YOU AND` WELL, THAT WAS AN AWFULLY QUICK DENIAL. NO. I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GOING TO BE HOME. WELL, YOU CAN WORK ON YOUR DRUMMING UNTIL I GET THERE. KNOCK AT DOOR THERE'S SOMEBODY AT THE DOOR, TOMMY. I HAVE TO GO. (TURNS MUSIC OFF) (CHUCKLES) JUST LIKE OLD TIMES. (CHUCKLES) THANK YOU FOR THE FLOWERS. THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL. OH, IT'S THE LEAST I COULD DO. ARE YOU KIDDING? YOU GAVE ME MY CAREER. I OFFERED YOU A ROLE. YOU MADE YOUR OWN CAREER. WELL, I AM FOREVER GRATEFUL. YOU BRING YOUR OWN HEAT TO THIS SHOW, AND I'LL BE THE ONE WHO'S FOREVER GRATEFUL. YOU LIKE THESE FLOWERS? I'LL BUY YA A FULL-TIME FLORIST. BUT SURE TOMMY WOULD LOVE HIM AROUND THE HOUSE. (CHUCKLES) THEN I'M NOT SO SURE TOMMY'S RIGHT FOR YA. MWAH! KNOCK 'EM DEAD, KID. I'LL TRY. SEE YA ON THE SET, SWEETHEART. BIRD TWITTERS PEOPLE CHATTER FINAL TOUCHES, PLEASE. OK. LET'S SHOOT THIS. ROLL SOUND. MAN: SOUND SPEED. AND... ACTION. I NEED THESE BY 9AM TOMORROW. BUT IT'S 6 O'CLOCK. I WASN'T ASKING WHAT TIME IT WAS. I WAS TELLING YOU WHAT TIME I NEED THESE. IS THIS BECAUSE YOU THINK I'M THE ONE THAT TOLD? I ALREADY TOLD YOU I DIDN'T. THIS ISN'T HIGH SCHOOL, ALISON. I DON'T HAVE THE TIME OR THE INTEREST TO CARE ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE SAY ABOUT ME BEHIND MY BACK. WELL, I DIDN'T. I WOULD NEVER UNDERMINE ANOTHER WOMEN LIKE THAT. OH, BUT YOU'D DO IT TO A MAN? NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. THE IRONY IS I PROBABLY WOULD'VE RESPECTED YOU MORE HAD YOU SAID IT. < FOOTSTEPS RECEDE (SIGHS) CUT! THAT WAS SO GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH. YOU WERE SO GOOD. CONGRATULATIONS. OH, THANKS, GUYS. AMAZING. THAT WAS FUN. OH, THAT WAS CRAFTY. (SIGHS) PEOPLE CHATTER (CHUCKLES) WONDERFUL. TOUR DE FORCE. CAN SHE ACT OR WHAT? SHE'S LIKE OLIVIER, BUT SHE LOOKS BETTER IN TIGHTS. (CHUCKLES) HEROES ARE ONLY AS GOOD AS THEIR OPPOSING FORCES ARE BAD. CHATTER CONTINUES SHE'S THE FEMALE VILLAIN. THAT'S WHAT WE REALLY NEEDED. OTHELLO WAS NOTHING WITHOUT IAGO. I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT, BUT HEATHER WAS ELECTRIC. FORGET WHAT I SAID ABOUT TONING DOWN THE SEX. GO CRAZY. PUSH BOUNDARIES. REALLY? WHAT IS THE POINT OF HAVING THE SEXIEST CAST IN TELEVISION IF WE'RE MAKING THEM ACT LIKE THE WALTONS? GO FOR IT. CURIOUS MUSIC HOW'S THE FOOD AROUND HERE? CRAFT SERVICE ISN'T BAD, BUT, YOU KNOW, IT COULD ALWAYS BE BETTER. I HAVE A GUY WHO MAKES THE BEST ESPRESSO. I'LL BRING HIM IN EVERY FRIDAY. OH. DOUG, CAN I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE? SURE. THANK YOU. I KNOW THAT YOU'RE TRYING TO KEEP PEOPLE GUESSING BY NOT COMING OUT AND TELLING THE PRESS THAT YOU'RE STRAIGHT. ACTUALLY, IT'S NOT ABOUT KEEPING PEOPLE GUESSING. OH. I JUST DON'T WANT ANYONE TO THINK I'M DISTANCING MYSELF FROM PLAYING A GAY CHARACTER BY ANNOUNCING THAT I'M STRAIGHT IN REAL LIFE. I DON'T SEE A REASON FOR IT. I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND YOUR DEDICATION TO THE GAY COMMUNITY. I JUST THINK THAT IT MAKES FOR LESS CONFUSION TO OUR AUDIENCE. THE NETWORK DOESN'T NEED THAT KIND OF SPECULATION AT THIS TIME. (CHUCKLES) AND WHAT KIND OF SPECULATION IS THAT? THE KIND THE LOWERS OUR RATINGS. PEOPLE CHATTER IN BACKGROUND OH, COME ON, BARBARA. YOU'VE NEVER EVEN SEEN THE SHOW. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? I HAVE SEEN EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. OK, GREAT. WHO IS JAKE SLEEPING WITH RIGHT NOW? (SIGHS) (CHUCKLES) BUSTED. WOMEN CHUCKLE YOU GOT ME. WHO'S THAT WOMAN WITH HEATHER? IT'S BARBARA. SHE MANAGES HEATHER AND ME. OH. WHO MANAGES YOU? I DON'T HAVE A MANAGER YET. I GUESS I SHOULD GET ONE, RIGHT? OH, ABSOLUTELY. I MEAN, IT'S REALLY HARD TO SURVIVE IN THIS BUSINESS WITHOUT ONE. YOU SHOULD SIGN WITH BARBARA. SHE REALLY KNOWS HER STUFF. I'LL INTRODUCE YOU LATER. YOU KNOW, I HATE TO ADMIT IT, BUT WHEN I FIRST HEARD YOU'D BE ON THIS SHOW, I WAS KINDA` SCARED? NERVOUS? WORRIED I'D SHOW UP COKED-OUT AFTER PARTYING FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT? BASICALLY, BUT THOUGHT MORE LIKE TWO DAYS OF PARTYING. I THOUGHT FOUR, MAYBE. YEAH. A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE A WRONG IMPRESSION OF ME, I GUESS BECAUSE OF TOMMY, BUT, REALLY, I'M JUST A NORMAL CALIFORNIA GAL. I LIKE TACOS, THE BEACH, MICK JAGGER'S LEARJET. ALL CHUCKLE IT'S LIKE THEY'RE TRYING TO SAY TO THE PUBLIC, 'IT'S OK WE HAVE A GAY GUY ON THE SHOW, 'BECAUSE HE'S NOT GAY IN REAL LIFE.' MAYBE THEY'RE GOTTEN FLACK FROM THE ADVERTISERS. WHO'S THE ADVERTISER? PAT ROBERTSON? I FEEL LIKE THEY MIGHT BE SETTING UP TO GET RID OF ME. THEY'RE NOT GETTING RID OF EITHER OF US. WE ARE THE ONLY EDGY THINGS ABOUT THIS SHOW. WE'RE THE GAY GUY AND THE BLACK GIRL. (CHUCKLES) SO, I WANNA REWRITE ALL THE DIALOGUE THAT WE HAVE FOR HEATHER'S REMAINING SCENES. I JUST LOVE THE WAY SHE DELIVERS THOSE LINES. IT'S LIKE I'M WATCHING A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT SHOW. I COMPLETELY AGREE. IT'S LIKE A WHOLE NEW SPIN ON THE CHARACTER. EXACTLY. IT'S LIKE A SHOT OF ADRENALINE... MM. ...THAT I THINK I WANNA USE AND REWORK INTO THE SCENES WE HAVE GOING FORWARD. WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE? YOU SHOULD BE WRITING. (CLEARS THROAT) RELAX. HE'S KIDDING. LIGHTEN UP, FRANK. (CHUCKLES) WE WERE ACTUALLY JUST TALKING ABOUT THE PLANS WE HAVE FOR HEATHER'S SCENES. SHAME WE DON'T REALLY HAVE HER FOR THREE MORE EPISODES. THESE AREN'T MY TACOS. WELL, BEFORE YOU GUYS WRITE HER EXIT, WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I COULD GET HER TO JOIN THE SHOW? AARON, IF YOU'RE SERIOUS,... I SAY DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO, BECAUSE I THINK WE JUST FOUND THE MISSING PIECE THAT COULD SAVE THIS SHOW. 1 REFLECTIVE MUSIC HEY, WAIT UP. I JUST HEARD. WHY DIDN'T YOU COME FIND ME? (SOBS) BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANNA BE DOING THIS. I WANTED TO LEAVE 'MELROSE PLACE' WITH DIGNITY. LISTEN, YOU DID A GREAT JOB. WHAT'S HAPPENING HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT. IT'S NOTHING ANY OF US CAN CONTROL. IT'S UP TO THE GODS ` OR, YOU KNOW, DARREN AND AARON. BOTH CHUCKLE WELL, SO MUCH FOR THE POWER OF PRAYER. WHAT AM I GONNA DO WITHOUT YOU? SERIOUSLY? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO WITHOUT ME? YOUR CHARACTER WAS BASICALLY MY SIDEKICK. HEY, NOT BEING ON THIS ISN'T THE END OF THE WORLD. YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NOT. IT JUST FEELS LIKE IT RIGHT NOW. BUT I NEED A ROLE WHERE I CAN REALLY SHINE. THIS WASN'T IT. (SIGHS) ENGINE STARTS I MEAN, WHO KNOWS? (SNIFFS) MAYBE THIS IS THE BEST THING THAT'LL HAPPEN TO ME. ENGINE RUMBLES I'LL SEE YOU AROUND, DOUG. SEE YOU AROUND, VANESSA. ENGINE REVS REFLECTIVE MUSIC CONTINUES DARREN, HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY THINK THAT? THE NUMBERS HAVE SHOT UP EVERY WEEK SINCE HEATHER'S BEEN ON. I KNOW, AND I'M THRILLED. IT'S JUST` IT'S JUST NOT THE SHOW I SET OUT TO MAKE. NOTHING EVER TURNS OUT THE WAY WE THINK IT'S GOING TO. THAT'S HOLLYWOOD. HELL, THAT'S NOT JUST HOLLYWOOD; THAT'S LIFE, KID, BUT YOU NEED TO GET OVER IT, BECAUSE THIS SHOW IS ABOUT TO EXPLODE. CECE PENISTON'S 'FINALLY' # FINALLY, FINALLY. # YEAH, YEAH. OH. PEOPLE CHATTER IN BACKGROUND # FINALLY, IT'S HAPPENED TO ME # RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY FACE, AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT ` # MEETING MR RIGHT, THE MAN OF MY DREAMS, THE ONE WHO SHOWED ME TRUE LOVE, OR AT LEAST IT SEEMS, # WITH BROWN-COCOA SKIN. PEOPLE SHOUT # IT'S JUST THE WAY HE LOOKS AT ME, THAT GENTLE, LOVING STARE. THANK YOU, GUYS. # FINALLY, YOU'VE COME ALONG. # THE WAY I FEEL ABOUT YOU IT JUST CAN'T BE WRONG. REPORTERS CLAMOUR, CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK TURN AROUND! # I JUST CAN'T DESCRIBE IT. LAURA! COME ON, EVERYONE. WE'LL GET PEOPLE DOWN ON THE GROUND TOO. GET EVERYONE IN. ALL RIGHT. AND ON THREE. ONE... (CHUCKLES) PEOPLE CHATTER, CHEER HI. THANK YOU SO MUCH. # IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. HEY. # MY FEELINGS CAN'T DESCRIBE IT. CHATTER CONTINUES THANKS. # IT HAS HAPPENED TO ME. BYE. THANKS. # AND I JUST CANNOT HIDE IT. # IT SEEMS SO MANY TIMES YOU SEEMED TO BE THE ONE, BUT ALL I EVER WANTED WAS... AH! OOH, WOW. (CHUCKLES) # BUT NOW YOU'VE COME ALONG AND BRIGHTENED UP MY WORLD. # IN MY HEART I FEEL IT. I'M THAT SPECIAL KIND OF GIRL. # FINALLY, YOU COME ALONG. THE WAY YOU... # OH. HELLO, MISS LEIGHTON. LET ME GET THE DOOR FOR YOU. WHY, THANK YOU, MR SHOW. (SIGHS) BIRD TWITTERS I COULD TEAR THIS OFF YOU. THE WARDROBE LADY WOULD KILL YOU. AT LEAST I DIE HAPPY. (CHUCKLES) WHAT IF SOMEBODY SAW YOU COME IN HERE? I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA KEEP OUR RELATIONSHIP SECRET. SECRET IMPLIES THAT WE'RE DOING SOMETHING WRONG, WHICH WE'RE NOT. I THINK 'PRIVATE' IS A BETTER WORD. I KNOW. I JUST... (SIGHS) WHAT? I JUST` I TAKE THIS JOB SERIOUSLY, AND I DON'T WANNA DO ANYTHING TO JEOPARDIZE IT. JUST LOOK AT ANDREW AND COURTNEY. WELL, I THINK THEY'RE HANDLING IT WELL. THEY'RE PROS, LIKE US. INTRIGUING MUSIC INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES WOMAN: AND CUT. PEOPLE CHATTER HEY, LISTEN. UM, NO MORE TONGUE, OK? WHAT? OH. YEAH. JUST, NOW THAT WE'RE BROKEN UP. YEAH. YEAH, NO PROBLEM. THANK YOU. COURT. METAL SQUEAKS, CREAKS DOOR SHUTS ARE WE OK? YEAH, OF COURSE. CHATTER CONTINUES I LOVE VISITING THE SET, YOU KNOW? THE MAGIC OF FILM-MAKING. THE MAGIC OF A CATERED LUNCH. WELL, THAT'S GOOD TOO, BUT, SERIOUSLY, I GET INSPIRED. YOU KNOW, YEAH. WELL, HAVING WRITERS AROUND MAKES THE ACTORS CRAZY, ESPECIALLY NOW, WHEN THEY THINK THEY KNOW THEIR CHARACTERS BETTER THAN WE DO. (CHUCKLES) THEY DON'T ACTUALLY THINK THAT, DO THEY? WELL... DARREN. HI. LISTEN, DOING THAT CATFIGHT SCENE WITH LAURA WAS SO GREAT FOR ME. I GOT TO ACCESS ALL THIS ANGER, RIGHT? SO I WAS THINKING, BECAUSE MY CHARACTER IS SO SWEET AND INNOCENT, WHAT IF AFTER BEING CHEATED ON BY HER HUSBAND AND THEN BETRAYED BY HER SISTER, SHE JUST SNAPS, AND SHE GETS THIS CRAZY LOOK IN HER EYE, ALMOST LIKE A 'JEKYLL AND HYDE' KIND OF THING? ONE SECOND SHE'S ALL, 'HI. HOW NICE TO SEE YOU.' THEN SHE'S LIKE, 'I'LL RIP YOUR GUTS OUT.' MM? KIND OF LIKE A SPLIT-PERSONALITIES THING. I'M PRETTY SURE NO SOAP HAS EVER TRIED IT. YEAH. I BET THEY HAVEN'T. YEAH, UM... BUT, (CHUCKLES) YOU SEE, THE THING IS EVERY CAST NEEDS ITS MORAL CENTRE, AND YOU'RE KIND OF IT FOR THIS SHOW. OK. OK. (YELLS) OH GEEZ! SEE? AT LEAST THINK ABOUT IT. YOU'RE A LIVE WIRE. (CHUCKLES) OH, I THINK WE SHOULD JUST DO WHATEVER SHE WANTS. I FEEL GENUINELY UNSAFE RIGHT NOW. MEN CHATTER > HEY. THERE YOU ARE. I WANTED TO RUN SOMETHING BY YOU GUYS. SURE. WHAT'S GOING ON. SO, WE ALL KNOW JO'S EX-HUSBAND WAS ABUSIVE. MM-HM. SO WHAT IF HE SUDDENLY TURNS UP DEAD, AND WHOEVER DID IT TRIES TO PIN IT ON ME? LIGHT MUSIC I DON'T KNOW. I MEAN, WE'VE ALREADY KILLED ONE EX-BOYFRIEND. YEAH. WE'VE GOTTA BE CAREFUL. WE DON'T YOU BECOMING A SERIAL KILLER. HEY, THAT IS A GREAT IDEA. I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY A SERIAL KILLER. THAT WAY IF YOU EVER NEED TO WRITE ANYONE OFF THE SHOW, I COULD JUST... OH. ...STAB 'EM, OR, UM, I COULD DROWN 'EM. UH, OOH, I COULD CHOKE 'EM. THAT'S` UH, THOSE ARE ALL GOOD OPTIONS. I COULD SHANK 'EM. THERE IT IS. UH... I DON'T KNOW IF WE` IF THAT'S THE DIRECTION THAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT. I AM SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT YOU. UH, I JUST` WE ARE SO LATE FOR A MEETING RIGHT NOW WITH AARON, BUT, UM, YEAH` OH, RIGHT. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THAT WHEN WE WERE IN THE ROOM. UM, IT WAS REALLY NICE SEEING YOU, THOUGH. GREAT SWEATER. YOU LOOK AMAZING. (CHUCKLES) YEAH. I COULD SHOOT 'EM. GOOD IDEA. ARE YOU WRITING THESE DOWN? YEAH. I'VE GOT IT ALL RIGHT HERE. HE'S GOT A MEMORY. GOOD TO SEE YA, DAPHNE. LIGHT MUSIC CONTINUES HEY, UH, HANG ON A SECOND. I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD A MEETING WITH AARON. WE DON'T. WE DON'T? OH. YOU'RE GOOD. DARREN. I'M SURE YOU GUYS ARE PROBABLY BUSY` YEAH, WE ARE. ABOUT THIS ARTICLE I READ ON SLEEPWALKING. APPARENTLY PEOPLE DO CRAZY THINGS IN THEIR SLEEP ` THEY GET ON BUSES, THEY GO TO DIFFERENT CITIES, THEY START FAMILIES, THEY ROB BANKS. YOU KNOW, I THOUGHT MAYBE ALISON COULD WAKE UP ONE DAY LIKE, 'WHOA, THIS BANK` THIS BANK ISN'T MY BED.' (CHUCKLES) YEAH. TOT` I LOVE THAT. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WE'RE ACTUALLY` WE'RE LATE FOR A MEETING WITH AARON. WE'RE VERY LATE, ACTUALLY. OH, YEAH. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? WHY DON'T YOU SEND ME THE ARTICLE? YOU KNOW WHAT? I WILL FIND IT. YEAH, WE'LL FIND IT. GREAT. THANK YOU. GOOD TO SEE YOU. OH, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S SCARY HERE. LET'S NOT COME BACK TO SET EVER AGAIN,... MM-HM. ...OR AT LEAST UNTIL THEY SERVE DINNER. (CHUCKLES) (GRUNTS) THIS IS CRAZY. I CANNOT BELIEVE WE'RE GONNA BE ON THE COVER OF 'ROLLING STONE'. THAT'S, LIKE, FOR SUPER-FAMOUS PEOPLE, LIKE 'U2' OR THE 'SPIN DOCTORS'. I MEAN, THIS IS CRAZY. WHAT'S CRAZY IS THAT I CAN'T EVEN DO MY OWN GROCERY SHOPPING ANY MORE. YEAH. I GOT ABSOLUTELY MOBBED AT GELSON'S YESTERDAY. HEATHER, YOU'VE HAD TO DO THIS SO MUCH LONGER THAN WE HAVE. WHAT DO YOU DO? JUST LOOK AMAZING WHENEVER YOU RUN ERRANDS. ALL CHUCKLE INTRIGUING MUSIC INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES HOW ABOUT THIS SIMPLE TANK? YEAH. THIS SHOULD WORK. SERIOUSLY? YEAH. GO TRY IT ON. > SHE'S JUST LOOKING OUT FOR HER CLIENT, I GUESS. (CHUCKLES) INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES OH NO. WHAT'S WRONG? IT'S JUST,... (SIGHS) ALL THE GIRLS LOOK SO GREAT. YEAH, WELL, SO DO YOU. (SIGHS) I DON'T HAVE ANY BOOBS. THEY'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE A ZOOM LENS ON ME. OH, HONEY, BOOBS ARE SO 1993. LOOK AT KATE MOSS. (SIGHS) I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE STAYS SO THIN. SHE MUST WORK OUT ALL THE TIME. DON'T WORRY ABOUT HER. DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. YOU'RE PERFECT. HEATHER, HONEY, YOU LOOK AMAZING. (CHUCKLES) GREAT CHOICE. WOMAN: YEAH. IT LOOKS GOOD. CLICK! ROCK MUSIC PLAYS CLICK! EVERYBODY GET IN CLOSE. I WANT YOU TO DRAPE YOURSELVES OVER EACH OTHER. # ...FOR THE SUN. I NEED A NEW VACATION. NAH, LEAVE 'EM OPEN. MAYBE WE'LL MAKE THE COVER OF 'ROLLING STONE' AND 'PENTHOUSE'. (CHUCKLES) NO SMILING. I WANT SEXY. # I'M FEELING GOOD VIBRATIONS A LONG, LONG WAY FROM HOME. CLICK! (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) # I JUST GOT A FEELING... UH, HEY, COURTNEY. COULD YOU SWITCH PLACES WITH LAURA? I DON'T WANT ALL THE BLONDES IN THE SAME SPOT. # ...SUMMER SONG AND START SINGING. TAKE IT TO THE SUMMERTIME, KICKING BACK, # SOAKING UP THE SUN IN THE SUMMERTIME. TALKING ABOUT MY... MM. CLICK! OH, THAT IS PERFECT. CLICK! # UNDERNEATH THE SUN IN THE... # DOUG, I WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW BEFORE ANYONE ELSE. I'M DONE, HUH? WHAT? (CHUCKLES) NO. NO, THIS IS GOOD NEWS ` YOUR CHARACTER FINALLY GETS TO KISS ANOTHER GUY. ARE YOU SERIOUS? MM-HM. THIS IS` IS GREAT. HEY, DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ASK ME IF I'M EVER GONNA GET LAID ON THIS SHOW? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE ASK ME? DARREN, I-I THINK THIS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT STEP FOR THE GAY COMMUNITY. THIS IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. YEAH, WELL, MORE IMPORTANTLY, IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO FOR THE SHOW. NOW, THE NETWORK WILL ALWAYS BE A LITTLE SKITTISH, BUT... IT'S TIME. INTRIGUING MUSIC OH, OH, OH. (HIGH-PITCHED) OH, HEY, HOW ARE THE LIPS? (SMOOCHES) DON'T BE JEALOUS. (CHUCKLES) A LITTLE BIT. GO GET 'EM, TIGER. TV KISSING 101 ` ALWAYS HAVE FRESH BREATH. AND LIP BALM IN CASE THERE'S MULTIPLE TAKES, WHICH THERE WILL BE. (CHUCKLES) THANKS A LOT, GUYS. YOU NERVOUS? YES. YOU'RE GONNA BE A PART OF HISTORY, MAN. YOU GUYS ARE STAYING TO WATCH, AREN'T YOU? OH, GOD YES. OK, LET'S PRACTISE THIS ONE MORE TIME. AND STAND-INS KISS. < AND HEADLIGHTS. OK. LET'S GET THE STAND-INS OUT. LET'S GET FIRST TEAM IN. OK, EVERYBODY. NO REHEARSAL. LET'S JUST GO FOR ONE. WE'RE GONNA ROLL AND TAIL SLATE IT. AND... ACTION. > I HAD A GREAT TIME TONIGHT. ME TOO. INTRIGUING MUSIC CONTINUES AND HEADLIGHTS. AND CUT. MAN: TAIL SLATE! APPLAUSE, CHEERING MAN: YEAH! THAT'S IT! ALL RIGHT! MAN: YOU DID IT! IT'S GONNA BE THE KISS HEARD AROUND THE WORLD. (CHUCKLES) YOUR PACKAGES WAS PRETTY NICE. THANK YOU. LAUGHTER WOMEN: OH MY GOD! NO WAY. THE COVER OR 'ROLLING STONE', LADIES. PEOPLE CHATTER NICE. WHERE ARE WE? 'ROLLING STONE'. OH, THANK YOU, JOSIE. WOLF WHISTLING READS: THE HOT ISSUE. WE LOOK SEXIER. WE DO. OH, IT IS HOT. READS: BOD SQUAD. LAUGHTER (CLEARS THROAT) WELL, I GUESS THEY DIDN'T HAVE ROOM ON THE COVER. APPARENTLY IT'S RESERVED FOR BARBARA'S CLIENTS. CHATTER, LAUGHTER CONTINUES WE'RE IN THE SAME ISSUE AS THE 'MEAT PUPPETS'? THIS IS A DREAM COME TRUE. MEN LAUGH PENSIVE MUSIC BARBARA, IT'S LAURA LEIGHTON ON LINE ONE. BEEP! ISN'T THE 'ROLLING STONE' COVER PHENOMENAL? ACTUALLY, EVERYONE'S UPSET OVER HERE BECAUSE COURTNEY AND DAPHNE WERE LEFT OFF THE COVER. WERE THEY? I ONLY NOTICED WHO WAS ON IT ` YOU. THERE'S ONLY SO MUCH ROOM ON A PAGE. WHY ARE YOU UPSET? YOU MADE THE CUT. BECAUSE THIS CAST IS LIKE FAMILY, THAT'S WHY. SURE, BUT SHOWS COME AND GO; MAGAZINE COVERS ARE FOREVER, AND YOU'RE ON ONE. YOU DON'T GET IT. WE'RE WITH EACH OTHER EVERY DAY, 12 HOURS A DAY, AND WHEN YOU PULL STUFF LIKE THIS, IT MAKES IT VERY HARD` ENOUGH ALREADY. IT'S JUST BUSINESS. BARBARA, I'M SERIOUS. I DON'T THINK` THERE'LL BE OTHER COVERS. I DON'T KNOW. UM, 'GOOD HOUSEKEEPING' OR SOMETHING. MAYBE THEY CAN BE ON ONE OF THOSE, IF THAT MAKES THEM HAPPY. LISTEN, DOLL, UH, I GOTTA RUN. BIG KISSES. (SMOOCHES) I THINK IT LOOKS GREAT ON YOU. (CHUCKLES) PENSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES (SIGHS) ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, SEAGULL SQUAWKS THERE IT IS ` SIGNATURE. THERE YOU GO. SEE YOU LATER. (MOUTHS) OK. (CHUCKLES) PEOPLE CHATTER, ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING, CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK OH, YOUR CHARACTER IS THE SWEETEST PERSON ON THE SHOW. OH, I KNOW. EVERYBODY ELSE ALWAYS GETS TO HAVE THE FUN. EXCEPT FOR THE POOL FIGHT WITH SYDNEY. THAT WAS AWESOME. THANK YOU. YEAH, I HOPE I GET TO DO MORE THINGS LIKE THAT. WELL, THEY SHOULD LET YOU PUSH MICHAEL INTO THE POOL. WELL, AFTER WHAT MICHAEL DID TO MY CHARACTER, THEY SHOULD LET ME PUSH HIM OFF A CLIFF. (CHUCKLES) CHATTER CONTINUES WE DON'T NORMALLY COME HERE, BUT WE HEARD YOU'D BE HERE TONIGHT, AND WE'D LIKE TO THANK YOU FOR FINALLY PORTRAYING A GAY MAN ON TV THAT'S NOT A STEREOTYPE. YOU'RE WELCOME. THAT'S REALLY NICE OF YOU TO SAY. THANKS FOR SHOWING UP. I SAW YOU DID THE AIDS RIDE. IT'S SO GOOD TO HAVE HIGH-PROFILE CELEBRITIES STANDING UP FOR THE CAUSE. OH, WELL, I'M NO ELIZABETH TAYLOR. YOU'RE REALLY BRAVE. I MEAN, IT MUST'VE BEEN HARD. NAH. THE ONLY HARD PART WAS THE OTHER GUY'S 5-O'CLOCK SHADOW ` VERY SCRATCHY. I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM WITH HIM. ALL CHUCKLE MAN: PLEASE TAKE YOUR SEATS. THE SHOW IS ABOUT TO START. GREAT TO MEET YOU. CHATTER CONTINUES, ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON TV GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC PLAYS ON TV TV: AND NOW BACK TO 'MELROSE PLACE'. CRICKETS CHIRP GET READY TO MAKE TV HISTORY. GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING I HAD A GOOD TIME TONIGHT. ME TOO. CAR ENGINE HUMS PEOPLE MUTTER MAN: WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT? MUTTERING CONTINUES THEY CUT THE KISS,... YEAH, EXACTLY. ...AFTER ALL THAT. MUTTERING CONTINUES COME ON. LET'S GET OUT OF HERE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY CUT THE KISS. 1 DOUG, I HANDED THAT SCENE INTO THE NETWORK WITH A KISS, BUT WE ALL KNEW IT WASN'T A SURE THING. THEY GET FINAL CUT, NOT US. THEY COULD'VE AT LEAST LET US KNOW THEY WERE GONNA CUT IT SO THAT WE COULD'VE FOUGHT FOR IT. YOU COULD'VE FOUGHT FOR IT. HEY, I FIGHT FOR THIS SHOW EVERY WEEK. YOU FIGHT FOR RATINGS AND CLEAVAGE. THIS WAS ABOUT SOMETHING MORE. YOU KNOW THAT. OF COURSE I DO. THEN WHY DO I FEEL LIKE I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT SEEMS TO CARE? PENSIVE MUSIC < FOOTSTEPS RECEDE (SIGHS) (SIGHS) BEEP! BEEPING (EXHALES) PEOPLE CHATTER HI. IT'S BARBARA. I GOT THE SCRIPTS, AND I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT THEM. DID YOU READ THEM? YEAH. SOME OF THEM WERE BARELY IN ENGLISH. I'VE SEEN BETTER WRITING ON BATHROOM WALLS. UH, THOSE ARE HOT PROJECTS RIGHT NOW. WELL, THAT'S DEPRESSING, AND IT'S NOT THE KIND OF MATERIAL I'M INTERESTED IN. WE TALKED ABOUT THIS. I WANNA DO MOVIES THAT SAY SOMETHING. WELL, NO ONE IS INTERESTED IN MAKING ISSUE PICTURES RIGHT NOW, SO, I DON'T KNOW, WHY NOT DO SOME WHERE YOU ARE RUNNING AWAY FROM AN EXPLOSION IN SLO-MO? AND IF THEY'RE HITS, YOU CAN DO WHATEVER ARTSY JUNK YOU WANT. OK? OK. THANKS. BYE. BEEP! (SIGHS) OK. LET'S SEE IT. SO, AFTER MARCIA PULLS HER WIG OFF, THIS IS WHAT WE SEE. LIGHT MUSIC WHAT IS THIS? KIMBERLY WAS IN A CAR CRASH AND A COMA. SHE'S BASICALLY RISEN FROM THE DEAD. THIS LOOKS LIKE SHE GRAZED A TREE BRANCH. I ASSURE YOU, THE SCAR'S VERY ACCURATE. THIS IS WHAT THEY LOOK LIKE IN REAL LIFE. WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT REAL LIFE? THIS IS 'MELROSE PLACE'. DOOR SHUTS OK. (SIGHS) I THINK WE SHOULD START BREAKING STORYLINES FOR NEXT SEASON. DO YOU WANNA WAIT FOR A RENEWAL OR...? MM, I'M A PLANNER. OH. AH. SHOW US. THAT LOOKS GOOD. IT'S CUTE. YOU UNDERSTAND TELEVISION'S A VISUAL MEDIUM, RIGHT? I'M SORRY. WAS THAT A TRICK QUESTION OR...? JUST MAKE IT BIGGER. PEOPLE CHATTER YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. BIGGER IS BETTER ` SO I'VE HEARD. I LIKE 'EM BOTH. HEATHER, WHICH ONE DO YOU LIKE? LET'S DO THIS. OK. YEAH. YOU LOOK GOOD IN ANYTHING. (CHUCKLES) WHOA. THAT'S A SCAR. LET'S MAKE IT TWICE AS WIDE, AND WE'RE IN BUSINESS. DON'T WORRY. WE WOULD NEVER DO THAT TO YOU. THANK GOD. (CHUCKLES) BUT KIMBERLY SHAW... YEAH, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY. (INHALES) (EXHALES) DRAMATIC MUSIC (BREATHES SHAKILY) DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES ALL SCREAM, LAUGHTER OH MY GOSH! GROSS! I THINK I'M GONNA HURL. OHH. ABEL. SILVERMAN? NO. (GROANS) BIGGEST RATINGS SO FAR. NICE! AUDIENCE LOVES CRAZY. COME ON! THEY REALLY DO. COME ON! YOU KNOW WHAT? I GIVE UP. LET'S JUST GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT. GO CRAZY. < OK! NO, NO, NO. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU'RE DOING? IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE LIKE THIS. COME ON. LOOK AT ME. GUNSHOT ON TV, ALL YELP WOMAN: GONNA WORK? WHAT'S UP? WHOA. MATT GET GAY-BASHED AGAIN? KIMBERLY HIRED SOME GOONS. WHAT'S NEXT? (CHUCKLES) DANCE PARTY WHERE THERE'S, LIKE, A DANCE-OFF. DANCE-OFF. DANCE-OFF. AND MATT SHOCKS EVERYONE AND COMES OUT AS STRAIGHT. THAT'S RIGHT. WOULDN'T THAT BE AWKWARD FOR EVERYBODY? OH. UH, A MYSTERIOUS OLDER WOMAN ARRIVES, AND IT TURNS OUT SHE'S BILLY'S ACTUAL MOTHER... THAT'S RIGHT. AND... ...HIS FATHER. RIGHT? WHO'S DONE THAT BEFORE? NOBODY! NOBODY! JUST US. LOOK AT THAT HUGE BELLY. I HOPE NOBODY TRIES TO STEAL MY BABY. WHO WOULD DO SUCH A THING? ALL GASP, EXCLAIM, CHUCKLE OH MY GOD. CAN HE DO THAT? AMANDA AND KIMBERLY ADOPT THE SAME CHILD FROM AFRICA. FROM AFRICA. CATFIGHT. WHOOPS. DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING (!) OOH, THAT'S SOME OUTFIT YOU'VE GOT THERE. I KNOW. I WAS AFRAID IT WASN'T GOING TO BE TASTEFUL, BUT THANK GOD. I WISH I GOT TO BE A HOOKER. I KNOW. IT'S EVERY GIRL'S DREAM (!) BOTH CHUCKLE SO, WE DO A FULL RENOVATION OF MELROSE PLACE, AND WHEN THEY KNOCK DOWN THE WALLS, 'BOOM!' EVIL SPIRITS! AAAH! CHA-CHA! PEOPLE CHATTER HEY, HEY. CHECK IT OUT. (SNIFFS) I WISH I COULD GET SHOT. OH, MAYBE NEXT SEASON. UH, DOUG AND BILLY ARE PLAYING TENNIS. IT SEEMS SO INNOCENT, UNTIL DOUG WHIPS AROUND AND... (IMITATES THUD) AND KILLS BILLY ON THE COURT. JUST... DIDN'T MEAN TO DO IT, BUT IT'S LIKE A DRIVE-BY. GAME, SET, MATCH IS WHAT WE CALL IT. GIRLS CHUCKLE (CHUCKLES) IS IT JUST ME, OR DOES MY CANCER MAKE-UP LOOK JUST LIKE YOUR HANGOVER MAKE-UP? IT DOES, BUT YOU'RE STILL THE SEXIEST CHEMO PATIENT I'VE EVER SEEN. THAT'S BECAUSE I'M A BITCH, AND BITCHES STAY SEXY. SO, KIMBERLY TIES SYDNEY TO A PLANE AND CRASHES IT INTO MELROSE PLACE. IT'S GENIUS. GENIUS. WE'LL NEVER THINK OF A CRAZIER FINALE. WE NEED TO THINK OF ANOTHER FINALE. OH, YOU'VE GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? WE GOTTA COME UP WITH SOMETHING ELSE. SERIOUSLY? (SIGHS) WE'VE ALREADY GOT A HIT-WOMAN TRYING TO BLOW JAKE UP ON A BOAT, A DRUG DEALER TRYING TO KILL JO ON A BOAT. PETER TRYING TO GIVE AMANDA A LOBOTOMY, KIMBERLY RUN OVER MICHAEL WITH A CAR. DON'T FORGET SYDNEY ABDUCTED BY A CULT. RIGHT, SO WE CAME UP WITH ALL THAT STUFF ` THERE SHOULD BE MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. (SIGHS) SYDNEY COULD BE ABDUCTED BY A CULT... BOTH: ...ON A BOAT. OR, YOU KNOW WHAT? UH, THERE'S ALWAYS PLUMBING PROBLEMS AT MELROSE PLACE, RIGHT? UH, KIMBERLY COULD POISON THE WATER SUPPLY. IT'S NOT VISUAL ENOUGH. WHAT IF WE FILLED THE POOL WITH ACID AND PUSHED EVERYBODY IN? OH, THAT'S GOOD. OR, UH, PIRANHAS. I MEAN, THAT WOULD BE A GREAT VISUAL. DO WE WANT THAT MANY PIRANHAS ON ACID? THAT'S A GOOD QUESTION. I MEAN, THEY'D BE KINDA LIKE... BOTH SCREECH YOU KNOW, WHEN EVERYONE'S JUMPING IN. YEAH, I KNOW. GUYS, THAT'S OVER THE TOP EVEN FOR US. I NEED YOU TO FOCUS. NEW SEASON FINALE ` SOMETHING AS CRAZY AS A PLANE FLYING INTO THE COMPLEX BUT NOT AS CRAZY AS DEATH BY PIRANHAS. BOTH SIGH LET'S SHOOT FOR SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE. PEOPLE CHATTER INTRIGUING MUSIC I'M SO SORRY I'M LATE. NO WORRIES. TRAFFIC IS AWFUL. I COULD'VE WALKED HERE FASTER. WHO AM I KIDDING? NOT IN THESE SHOES. SO, WHAT'S UP? YOU SOUNDED SO SERIOUS ON THE PHONE, WHICH IS SO NOT LIKE YOU. THAT'S ACTUALLY NOT TRUE. I CAN BE VERY SERIOUS SOMETIMES. OH. WELL, NOTED. WHEN WE FIRST MET, I HAD JUST STARTED ON A HIT SHOW WITH ABSOLUTELY NO EXPERIENCE. YOU HELPED ME NAVIGATE THROUGH SITUATIONS THAT CAME ALONG WITH THAT. BUT WE HAVE VERY DIFFERENT WAYS OF DOING BUSINESS, AND WE DON'T SEEM TO COMMUNICATE` ARE YOU FIRING ME? I HAVE SUCH RESPECT FOR YOU. I DIDN'T ASK IF YOU RESPECTED ME. I AM SUGGESTING WE PART WAYS PROFESSIONALLY. IT'S NOTHING PERSONAL. IT'S JUST LIKE YOU SAID ` IT'S SHOW BUSINESS, NOT SHOW FRIENDS. REFLECTIVE MUSIC HMM. WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE,... CHATTER CONTINUES YOU'RE BUYING LUNCH, AND I'M HAVING LOBSTER. BOTH CHUCKLE TV PLAYS > (CHUCKLES) (WOMAN) TV: ...ANYBODY'S EVER DONE FOR ME. > (MAN) TV: WHY? > BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA NEED THE MONEY. > CAN I GO NOW? > CLICKING LOOKS GREAT. WAIT TILL YOU HEAR WHAT WE HAVE PLANNED FOR THE SEASON FINALE. I WANNA HEAR IT, BUT FIRST, I WANNA HEAR THE STORY IDEAS FOR THE 'MODELS INC' SPIN-OFF WE TALKED ABOUT. I DON'T KNOW. A SPIN-OFF OF A SPIN-OFF? OUR AUDIENCE MIGHT GET DIZZY. DON'T LOOK AT IT THAT WAY. I LOVE '90210', I LOVE 'MELROSE PLACE', BUT I'VE TOLD YOU I WANNA BRANCH OUT. THIS IS BRANCHING OUT. THE FASHION WORLD IS CUT-THROAT. THERE ARE SO MANY STORIES THERE. I'M SURE THERE ARE, BUT I FEEL LIKE IT'S ALL IN THE SAME INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL WHEELHOUSE. IT'LL BE ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. YES, THOSE CHARACTERS WILL BE SEXY, BUT YOU CAN DECIDE HOW AND WHY THEY'RE SEXY. IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT THE CHARACTERS. EXACTLY, SO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING. I DO BUT` THIS IDEA IS A WINNER, DARREN. I WAS RIGHT ABOUT 'MELROSE', WASN'T I? WE BROUGHT HEATHER ON, MADE IT A NIGHT-TIME SOAP, AND IT'S A HUGE, HUGE HIT. WELL, THIS WILL BE TOO. I'M SURE IT WILL BE. I JUST... MAYBE I NEED SOME MORE TIME TO THINK IT THROUGH. WE'RE ON A SCHEDULE. I KNOW. I'LL TALK TO YOU TOMORROW. FIRST THING IN THE MORNING. UH-HUH. DOOR OPENS, SHUTS LAID-BACK MUSIC NEED HELP? NAH. JUST CLEANING OUT THE TRAILER. (SIGHS) I CANNOT WAIT FOR A HIATUS. ONLY ONE MORE WEEK. GOT ANY BIG PLANS? OF COURSE. YOUR FOUNDATION. IF YOU GOT SOME EXTRA TIME, WE COULD USE THE HELP. SURE, BUT I WANT A T-SHIRT. YOU JUST WATCH. IT IS GONNA GO WORLDWIDE SOME DAY. I THINK MY FAVOURITE PART ABOUT THIS WHOLE CELEBRITY THING IS USING IT FOR CAUSES I CARE ABOUT. YOU REALISE WE JUST SOUNDED LIKE A PUBLIC-SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT, RIGHT? YEAH. WE DID, DIDN'T WE? (GRUNTS) COME ON. LET'S GO GET PLASTIC SURGERY AND ADOPT A FEW ETHNIC BABIES. (CHUCKLES) NEW YORK?! < AARON, IT'S NOT THAT BIG OF A DEAL. WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO NEW YORK? NOT RIGHT AWAY, BUT WE SPOKE ABOUT THIS. I TOLD YOU THAT IF CBS PICKED UP 'CENTRAL PARK WEST', I WOULD HAVE TO HEAD OVER THERE. WHAT IS THIS ABOUT? ARE YOU STILL STUCK ON MAKING IMPORTANT TELEVISION? YOU WANNA REINVENT THE WHEEL? HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED THE WHEEL IS FINE THE WAY IT IS? I'M NOT TRYING TO REINVENT ANYTHING. YOU TAUGHT ME ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT. I JUST WANNA SEE IF I CAN BUILD A BETTER WHEEL ON MY OWN. BESIDES, I CAN STILL CONSULT ON '90210' AND 'MELROSE PLACE'. I GIVE PEOPLE THE SHOES AND THEY USE THEM TO WALK AWAY. AARON, I HAVE SPENT MANY YEARS WITH YOU, AND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN LOYAL. I NEED YOU TO UNDERSTAND THAT THAT WILL NEVER CHANGE. YOU MORE THAN ANYONE ELSE SHOULD UNDERSTAND THAT. GENTLE MUSIC YOU'RE OBVIOUSLY UPSET. GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. HOPEFULLY WE CAN TALK IN THE MORNING. < FOOTSTEPS RECEDE BIRDS TWITTER OUTSIDE GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES HOW'D IT GO? I WAS RIGHT. HE'S LEAVING. DARREN'S ALWAYS BEEN IN MY CORNER, BUT HE HAS NO CLUE WHAT IT'S LIKE TO CLIMB INTO THE RING WITH ME. GENTLE MUSIC CONTINUES SO, YOU FIRED BARBARA? WOW. IT WASN'T THAT BAD. IT WAS A GOOD LESSON FOR ME IN STANDING UP FOR MYSELF. YOU'VE LEARNED A LOT SINCE YOUR FIRST DAY ON SET, HUH? LIKE HOPEFULLY HOW TO SMOKE A PROP CIGARETTE. OH MY GOD. YOU REMEMBER THAT? YEAH. WHOEVER SAID SMOKING CIGARETTES MAKES YOU LOOK COOL NEVER SAW YOU ALMOST SWALLOW ONE. (CHUCKLES) IT'S, UM` IT'S GONNA BE ANOTHER HALF-HOUR OR SO, GUYS, IF YOU WANNA GO BACK TO YOUR TRAILERS. I CAN HANG OUT. WE'LL HANG OUT. PEOPLE CHATTER BRING IN B-CAM. SO, HOW'S EVERYTHING BEEN GOING? I KNOW THINGS HAVE BEEN` TOUGH? YEAH. DIVORCE IS... IT'S` IT SUCKS, BUT WE'RE TRYING TO KEEP EVERYTHING AS POSITIVE AS WE CAN FOR THE GIRLS. THEY'RE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN ALL THIS, YOU KNOW? GENTLE MUSIC YOU'RE A GOOD GUY, YOU KNOW THAT? I'M JUST DOING THE BEST I CAN,... LIKE EVERYONE ELSE,... LIKE YOU. I KNOW IT CAN'T BE EASY BREAKING UP WITH SOMEONE THAT YOU WORK WITH AND HAVE TO SEE EVERY DAY. I KNOW IT'S FOR THE BEST. GRANT AND I, WE JUST... WE WEREN'T RIGHT FOR EACH OTHER. YEAH. BREAK-UPS ARE COMPLICATED ` OR SO I'VE HEARD. MY CHARACTER HASN'T GOT PAST THE HAND-HOLDING STAGE OF A RELATIONSHIP. BOTH CHUCKLE WOW, THOSE ARE A LOT OF CANNONS. I MEAN, I WANT IT TO BE REAL, BUT IT'S GOTTA BE SAFE. IT'LL BE SAFE, BUT WHENEVER YOU HAVE THIS MANY PYROTECHNICS, THERE'S ALWAYS A RISK. EXACTLY HOW MUCH RISK? I'M NOT PUTTING ANY OF MY PEOPLE IN DANGER. I CAN'T TELL YOU HOW TIRED I AM OF HIRING NEW ACTORS. BOTH CHUCKLE DON'T WORRY; IT'S THE BEST CREW IN HOLLYWOOD. WE'VE HAD BIGGER EXPLOSIONS WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A SINGED EYEBROW. I'M SURE YOU HAVE, BUT IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG, IT'S GONNA BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE COOKOUT IN TV HISTORY. (CHUCKLES) WELL, THAT'S A LOT OF GASOLINE THEY'RE LAYING. WELL, I'M AN EXTREMELY THOROUGH PSYCHOPATH. (CHUCKLES) YOUR CHARACTER IS A NUT JOB. I BEAT WHEN YOU SIGNED ON TO THIS, YOU HAD NO IDEA SHE'D BE THIS CRAZY. I CERTAINLY DIDN'T. AND YET YOU PLAY HER WITHOUT MAKING HER A` A CARTOON CHARACTER. HOW? UH, I JUST PLAY HER AS IF I WERE READING SHAKESPEARE. WHEN KIMBERLY STARTED, SHE WAS SOMEONE WITH A CONSCIENCE ` A LONELY DOCTOR WHO FELL IN LOVE WITH A MARRIED MAN. THEN SHE GOT THE HEAD INJURY AND, WELL... (CLICKS TONGUE) I LIKE TO THINK SHE'S A GOOD PERSON. THERE'S JUST SOMETHING PRESSING ON THE WRONG SIDE OF HER BRAIN. (CHUCKLES) IT'S A TESTAMENT TO YOUR ACTING, COS THESE SCRIPTS ARE NOT EXACTLY SHAKESPEARE. NO, BUT HOW GOOD WOULD THOSE PLAYS HAVE BEEN IF HE HAD TO WRITE 32 OF THEM A YEAR? HUH. GIVEN THAT, THERE'S SOME GREAT TWISTS. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE RIGHT. IT'S NEVER DULL AROUND HERE, THAT'S FOR SURE. NO. RIGHT? BANG! BOTH YELP (GASPS) LIGHT MUSIC BEST CREW IN HOLLYWOOD, HUH? UM, IT'S FINE. IT'S JUST A FLASH TEST. LIGHT MUSIC CONTINUES PEOPLE CHATTER THAT WINDOW'S GONNA BLOW OUT. THAT DOOR'S GONNA COME OFF ITS FRAME, FLAME'S SHOOTING OUT, AND THE WHOLE THING'S GONNA COME DOWN. KIMBERLY'S GONNA LEAP INTO THE POOL. DEBRIS IS GONNA FALL. IS SHE ALL RIGHT? WE DON'T KNOW. OH. > CHATTER CONTINUES INTRIGUING MUSIC BUT THEY HAVE ONE SHOT. IT'S THE BEST CREW` THIS IS WHERE YOU BLOW UP YOUR NETWORKING SET. THIS IS... (CHUCKLES) YOU'LL BE FINE. DON'T WORRY. EVERYTHING IS AS SAFE AS CAN BE. WHOOSH! BOTH GASP BOTH: OH MY GOSH. WITH ALL THESE EXPLOSIONS AND FLASH TESTS, I'M A NERVOUS WRECK. I KNOW. HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THIS MANY PEOPLE ON OUR SET BEFORE? (EXHALES) I JUST HOPE THEY KNOW WHAT THEY'RE DOING. ONE MISSED MARK AND SOMEONE'S GONNA END UP IN THE HOSPITAL. I THINK THAT'S WHY ALL THE FIREMEN ARE HERE, AND TO BE HONEST, I WOULDN'T MIND A LITTLE MOUTH-TO-MOUTH IF SOMETHING GOES WRONG. BOTH CHUCKLE LOOK AT THE CREW HOLDING ALL THAT PROP DEBRIS THEY GET TO THROW AT US DURING THE EXPLOSION. OH, GREAT (!) IT LOOKS LIKE PAYBACK TIME. CREW LAUGH YEAH, THEY SEEM A LITTLE TOO EXCITED ABOUT IT. (CHUCKLES) CHATTER CONTINUES MAN: POSITIONS, GUYS. LARRY, YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS. I'M TELLING YOU, THEY HAVE ONE SHOT AT THIS. TENSE MUSIC CHATTER CONTINUES ALL RIGHT. I NEED EVERYBODY ON POINT AND PAYING CLOSE ATTENTION. PLEASE STAY ON YOUR MARKS. DO NOT MISS YOUR CUES. (CHUCKLES) CHATTER CONTINUES TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES I CAN'T BELIEVE IT ` I'M GONNA DIE WITHOUT WINNING A TONY. (CHUCKLES) CHATTER CONTINUES TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES ACTORS READY? PYROTECHNICS READY? READY. AND ROLL CAMERA. SLATE IT. (EXHALES) CHATTER CONTINUES HEY, CAN I GET A LITTLE MORE QUIET ON SET, PLEASE? YEAH. (CHUCKLES) OH. (SMACKS LIPS) ON MY CALL. TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES ACTION. BANG! GLASS SHATTERS, BOOM! GASPING FLAMES WHOOSH, PEOPLE EXCLAIM (CHUCKLES) TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES BOTH GRUNT UGH! ARGH! (GASPS) GLASS SHATTERS BOOM! CLATTERING OH MY GOD. OH, THAT'S SO G... (GASPS) CLATTERING, RUMBLING AH! (GRUNTS) GLASS SHATTERS (PANTS) WHOOSHING TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES (GASPS) (CHUCKLES) AND CUT. (COUGHS) IS EVERYBODY OK? WOMAN: THAT WAS GREAT! CUT THE FIRE. COPY THAT. EXTINGUISHERS FLYING IN. (EXHALES) NICE. BOTH GRUNT, CHUCKLE THAT WAS FUN. (EXHALES) HISSING (EXHALES) MARCIA? MAN COUGHS MARCIA? MARCIA! PEOPLE CHATTER MY GOD. MARCIA! MARCIA! TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES OH, COME HERE, COME HERE, COME HERE. PLEASE TELL ME WE GOT IT. (CHUCKLES) WHOO! WHOO! WE GOT IT. EXCITED CHATTER EVERYBODY'S OK. WOMAN: THAT WAS GREAT. (CHUCKLES) WHOO! (CHUCKLES) CHEERING OH, NICE! YEAH! (CHUCKLES) DON'T EVER DO THAT AGAIN. CHEERING CONTINUES, BOTH CHUCKLE GOOD JOB. NICE. COME ON. LET'S GET YOU OUTTA HERE. YOU GOT IT, GIRL. MAN: IT'S OVER. (GRUNTS) APPLAUSE SEXY! (LAUGHS) WET T-SHIRT CONTEST. YEAH! RECENTLY, YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA BE WRITTEN OFF THE SHOW. HEY, THEY STILL COULD. KIMBERLY MIGHT NOT COME OUT OF THAT POOL ALIVE. SOMETHING TELLS ME KIMBERLY CAN HOLD HER BREATH JUST AS LONG AS YOU CAN. YOU WERE TERRIFIC. YOU ALL WERE. WONDERFUL JOB, EVERYBODY. THIS WAS FANTASTIC. OUR FANS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS. I THINK WE CAN TRULY SAY WE MADE SOMETHING UNFORGETTABLE. (CHUCKLES) WONDERFUL JOB. WONDERFUL. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. WONDERFUL. LAURA, FANTASTIC. (CHUCKLES) REFLECTIVE MUSIC OK. LET'S GET THIS LOCKED UP FOR CLOSE-UPS. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL. I'M GONNA TAKE OFF. REALLY? WE'VE ONLY GOT A COUPLE MORE SHOTS AND WE'RE DONE. YEAH, I KNOW. I'LL SEE EVERYBODY AT THE WRAP PARTY, THOUGH, THIS WEEKEND. ONE TAKE! ONE TAKE! ALL CHUCKLE FABULOUS. FABULOUS. THANK YOU. YOU DESERVE A ROUND OF APPLAUSE. YEAH! (CHUCKLES) ARE YOU OK? YEAH. IT'S JUST, UH... JUST ALL THE SMOKE. REFLECTIVE MUSIC CONTINUES PEOPLE CHATTER UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC # YEAH, YEAH! # MM-MM. # PUT ON ANOTHER FACE. STEP BACK INTO THE RACE. WIND ME UP AND WATCH ME GO. # COULDN'T WALK THAT LINE, NEVER IN THIS SKIN OF MINE. ALWAYS FOUND IT HARD ON MY OWN. # HAD TO GO AND CHANGE ME, LITTLE BY LITTLE. THEN I FLIPPED AND STARTED TURNING AROUND. # I TOOK A LOOK AT WHAT I HAD. NEEDED PUSHING SO BAD. NOW I CAN'T KEEP MY FEET OFF THE GROUND. # THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT ALWAYS HAD TO GET AWAY, BUT NOW I'M THINKING THAT I'M NOT LEAVING. # I'M HAPPY TODAY, COS I FOUND WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR, AND NOW I WON'T LET GO. # SEEMS I WAS LOSING MY WAY, BUT I FOUND WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR NOW. SO GOOD TO KNOW. # I'M FEELING LIKE I'M EVERGREEN. I KNOW WHO I WANNA BE. I FOUND A WAY TO OPEN THE DOOR. # I DON'T NEED A MAINSTREAM. I CAN LIVE HOW I PLEASE. AIN'T GOING BACK WHERE I WAS BEFORE. # HAD TO FREEFALL. COULDN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE. THERE'S NO PAST IN MY FUTURE NOW. # RESURRECTING MY SOUL. HERE'S A STORY TO BE TOLD, THE ONE THAT'S GONNA MAKE US SIT DOWN. # THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT ALWAYS HAD TO GET AWAY, # BUT NOW I'M THINKING THAT I'M NOT LEAVING. # I'M HAPPY TODAY, COS I FOUND WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR, AND NOW I WON'T LET GO. # SEEMS I WAS LOSING MY WAY, BUT I FOUND WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR NOW. SO GOOD TO KNOW. # THERE WAS A PART OF ME THAT ALWAYS HAD TO GET AWAY, BUT NOW I'M THINKING THAT I'M NOT LEAVING. # OH, YEAH. # UPBEAT DANCE MUSIC CAPTIONS BY SARAH MAIAVA. WWW.ABLE.CO.NZ CAPTIONS WERE MADE POSSIBLE WITH FUNDING FROM NZ ON AIR. COPYRIGHT ABLE 2016