b b b b b b Your friend is late. He'll be here. Yeah? I do have other bidders. I personally vouch for this man. Ah, well, I trust you, Michael. But you see, with each degree of separation comes a degree of uncertainty. Mr Vas. The KGB once tried to set me up. I had to kill three of their agents, and then I hunted down their families. The point is, if I sense anything out of the ordinary... No, the point is I haven't seen anything from you yet to justify a payment of $20 million. So, before I hand over a small fortune and risk my life, I want to know 100% that you can in fact deliver a device. That's the point. Very well. Michelle, owner's manual. This is your show of good faith? You're still alive. You can consider that a show of good faith. Now, what do you have for me? A down payment. $1 million. So, when do I get the device? Let's say 10 days. Michael, take that telephone. I'll call and tell you how to proceed. But keep it on you all the time. As for you, sir, next time we meet, I suggest you... be on time. Nice coat. Well done. See you around. So far so good? Yeah, so far. Kevin's got a tail. Is it Vas? They don't look Russian. They don't look friendly. We'd better go back. You ordered us not to jeopardise our cover, sir. Turn left. (CHOIR SINGS) (SINGING CONTINUES) Kill him! Ambush on the castle steps, sir! Come on, faster! Let's go! Get down! Get down! Down! (ALL SCREAM) There he is! Pull over! You're jeopardising the mission! You are the mission! God, that was close! Did you see who they were? Kevin? Doesn't this all smack of extreme desperation? A nuclear bomb that fits into a carry-on suitcase? Kevin spends two years to position you as the buyer. Vas won't deal with anyone else. We have nine days to make this work. I'd say desperation was the order of the day. Maybe Vas set Kevin up. Maybe a rival buyer. Pakistanis, Chechnyans, North Koreans. Libyans. Try the entire Middle East. Vas will take anyone's money. Why kill Kevin if they could outbid him. We have deeper pockets. He priced them out. Who do you think it is? The Cold War is over. They don't wave flags any more. Terrorism is global. Whoever it is decided to eliminate the competition, and force Vas to deal with them. So, the future of the so-called free world may rest in this young man's hands. Big-Time Tickets. Whatever you want I'll get you. Yankees, third base line. Knicks, courtside. Rangers, on the ice. Masters, I'll put you on Tiger's teeth, all right? No matter what you want I got it for you. What you need? Come on, man! You're gonna call three hours before tip-off against the Lakers? The Knicks sell out every game. Since I like you, for 850 I'll get you section 24, row 9, 12 back from the bench, right behind Woody with a good view of Spike. Unless he got that turban on his head, looking like Yasser Aranigger. Check! Hold on a second. Whassup? Big-Time Tickets, Jake Hayes. What you want? Checkmate! Lion King? I can't do that. Jake Hayes, Big-Time Tickets. Mr Johnson, going to the game tonight, or you wanna do some business? Kicking your ass! Don't look at me! You need to watch that castle about to bitch-slap your bishop! Hah! You lose, Opey! OK, so, I'll give you 400 for the two. Jake, let's get a slice! Hold on a second. Hello, Big-Time Tickets. Hey! Hey, I can't go right now. You always working! Hey, honey! Whassup? OK, I'm gonna pick you up from work. We will talk all about it. OK, I love you, too. Bye. I gotta pick up my girlfriend. Check this out. You're gonna do this, then I'm gonna do this. You're gonna do this. I'll do this. You wanna do this, but I'll do this. When you thinking about doing this, I'll do this, then the game's over. Gimme $20 and we'll save 20 minutes. Screw you! You didn't know chess was a contact sport, did you? Julie Benson. She's a nurse's aid. They've been together three years. She lives with her sister and brother-in-law in Jersey City. Amazing resemblance to Kevin, sir. Yeah. Like seeing a ghost. I don't... I don't know how you're gonna react. (LAUGHS) Come on! Wait a minute! I should have known! The mood swings, the weight gain! What weight gain? You're pregnant! You're pregnant! I want everybody to know! Hey, everybody! My woman's having a baby! And we're getting married! (ALL CHEER) I'm not pregnant. You know, we don't have to get married. Marriage is a big step. We should wait a while. We're young I'm moving to Seattle. Seattle, like, Seattle SuperSonics Seattle? Baby, that's-that's pretty far. I got offered a job there. What kind of job are you gonna get in Seattle that you can't get in New York? A friend from junior college called. Who? Kenneth. Your ex-man, Ken? Look, he's managing a company out there. He offered... So, you're leaving me and going back to Ken? No! Are you leaving me? Sort of, but it's not... So you're leaving me and going back to Ken? The Ken part is just business. Then, what's the leaving-me part? Pleasure? Pain. Your sister put you up to this. She never liked me. It's been three years. I know it's been three years. We're in the same situation we were in when we met. We're not married. We're not married. We can't afford to get married. It doesn't look like it's ever gonna change. Poor people do get married. Poor people do get married. I don't feel like fighting with you every day because we're broke. Marriage is hard enough without being poor. Hey, what happened to the love, all that romance? You know I love you, but you live in this fantasy. It's like you're waiting for some kind of miracle. I gotta live in reality. I won't be young forever. Put yourself on the market while the merchandise is fresh? You act like there's a damn expiration date on your forehead! Come on! Come on! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! You think I like living like this? Moving tickets? Hustling chess? DJ-ing at these little clubs? I know I should have stayed in college. I messed up! I'll go back to college! I love you, Jake. I love you, too. But I... So, when are you leaving? A couple of weeks. But I... But we'll talk before then. Why? (WHISPERS) # Breathe in, breathe out # Do the monastery, go on, let it out # Breathe out, breathe in # Put ya back out, let ya knees bend # It's kickin' through the door, throwback Vokal velour # I see me a do it fresh off tour, head to the floor... # Whassup, man? Whassup? What's wrong? Julie left me. Sorry, um, I gotta go. I'll catch you tomorrow. # There won't be no extra space to waste, pick up the pace # See your heart rate, and if you start to hyperventilate # Breathe in, breathe out # Do the chickenhead, go on, let it out # Breathe out, breathe in # # I'm all out of love # I'm so lost without you # I know you were right # Believing for so long # I'm all out of love # What am I without you? # I can't be too late... # Get your shit together or I'm gonna have to fire your ass! That's right! # I want you to come back and carry me home # Away from these long lonely nights # There's no easy way, it gets harder each day # Please love me or I'll be gone # I'll be gone # I'm all out of love # I'm so lost without you # I know you were right # Believing for so long # So long # I'm all out of love # Outta love # What am I without you? # So lost without you, oh # I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong # (PHONE RINGS) Julie, Julie, I'm sorry! Oh, I'm sorry. Er, Big-Time Tickets. Yeah, for what game? Well, how much you wanna spend? Yeah, I can get it. So, where you at? Where the hell's that? Thank you very much. Now take off. Whatever. Hey, whassup? Gimme your phone. Hey, come on, man! Relax! You know how hard it was for me to get a cab to come up here? I hope you'll give me a ride back! I know you're cops! What do you want? Money? I understand! Y'all shot somebody and now y'all need a suspect! Mr Hayes? Jacob Hayes? I'm Officer Oakes, that's Officer Seale. Officer Swanson, Officer Carew. What? CIA? What's that? Crackers In my Ass? You arresting me for scalping tickets? We just want to talk to you about something. About what? About your brother. You got the wrong guy. I don't even have a brother. A picture of me in a suit. Could have got that off the Internet. I saw Bill Gates with three titties on the Net. September 8th 1970. Bellevue Hospital, New York City. A woman registered as Mary Jeffries gives birth to identical twins, but suffers complications during labour, and dies the next day. What about the father? Thomas B Jeffries. Presumed alive, whereabouts unknown. The state rarely separates twins, but one infant, Jacob, that's you, had severe lung infection. You still have the scar from the chest tube, the incision mark. An administrator altered the birth record to give the healthy child a better chance at adoption. A week later Roger and Glenda Pope took in Kevin Jeffries. The Popes never knew. Kevin never knew. So, I have a twin. Big deal(!) What's the CIA got to do with this? He can't send a letter? He's dead. How? A helicopter crash. We need your help, Mr Hayes. Your brother was working on something with us. My twin brother was CIA? Yeah, a clandestine operative. Before he was killed he set up a deal. What kind of deal? A very important one. So, we need you to stand in for him, um, just briefly. Pretend I'm him? Yeah. For how long? Nine days. Nine days? Standing in's like a hour. Nine days is like a tour. Is this shit dangerous? There's some risk. What kind of risk? Are we talking bad-credit risk or bullet-in-ass risk? You'll be compensated. For bullet-in-ass risk? That's a lot of compensation! How much? Throw out a number. A billion dollars. You've overshot. What budget you working with? We were thinking somewhere in the region of, let's say, $25,000. 50. Yeah, 50. I figure you started with 25. So, you got more. You ain't gonna give me all your money. 50,000. This is what I'm thinking. With $25,000 your girlfriend, Julie, could go to college. She wouldn't have to go to Seattle. Or work with Ken. OK, here's what I'm thinking. You're gonna give me $50,000 tax-free. OK, 50,000 after tax, after the job is done. Half now, half after. 10 now, 40 after. Unless my mother had triplets, you're gonna give me 10 now, 90 after. OK, you got a deal. So, when do we start? Now. This is your brother's file. Study it. Homework? Preparation. Dad sits on the board of the New York stock exchange. Mom, core artistic director at Lincoln centre. Must have been nice. In my foster house we were so poor we used to lick stamps for dinner. Prep school at Exeter, then college at Dartmouth. Served in the naval academy. That's right. What did he serve? Lunch? Oh, man! Rhodes Scholar! So, my brother was real smart, huh? Yeah. Damn, the CIA is cheap! You could at least have gotten me a queen size. What's this, jack size? Hey, what's that, er, zas nod, mean? It's Czech for bathroom. The room's labelled with phonetic translations. Why? Cos the deal goes down in the Czech Republic. Czech Republic? Here's a dictionary. How do I get a outside line? I need somebody to feed my cat. You don't have an outside line or a cat. What am I supposed to be doing? There's a tape in the VCR. It's a video of your brother. Watch it. There's a lot to deal with. We'll start in the morning. Any questions? Yeah. If my brother was such a genius, then how come he's dead? 5am. Hey, I don't do 5am! Bottom line, what are our chances? I'd say anywhere between, er,... nil and zero. Why do you say that? I grant you he's got potential. He's street smart. In six months he could probably fool his brother's own parents. But eight days? You're kidding! He'll get himself killed and anyone with him. You'd like to be replaced? You're going ahead with or without me? That's precisely what I'm saying. Well, sir, when do I tell him what this mission involves? Tell him as little as possible. Nothing he can't use that could pop out at the wrong time. OK. What's he doing now? He's studying. We told him to learn a few key phrases in Czech. '(SPEAKS CZECH)' Well, he seems dedicated. '(CONTINUES TO SPEAK CZECH)' What's he saying? 'I haven't had my period in three months.' '(CONTINUES TO SPEAK CZECH)' Now what? 'Where's the hospital? I have a vaginal infection.' Yeah, this is gonna be interesting. Can't wait to get started. 1 Rise and shine, Mr Hayes! 5am and all is well! How about three more hours of sleep and some breakfast? How about a nice shower? Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! What's wrong with you? Good morning. 'Today we'll cover basic operations protocol, for the acquisition of foreign assets. A procedure we like to call The Three Is.' 'Identifying the target, initiating the contact, and infiltrating the network.' Now you do it like him. Man, this is buggin' me out. I feel like Michael Jackson looking at old album covers. Look at this guy, he looks like me, but it's not me. Yeah. What did he like to do? What kind of sports was he into? What music? He liked jazz and classical. Classical? Like Run DMC? He didn't like rap. What 29-year-old brother don't like a little rap? He didn't like rap. What kind of sports? Skiing. OK, so you got skiing, the navy, no rap. We'd have had a lot in common(!) Sir. Mm? What time? OK. All right. Thanks. So, what's up with you and Swanson? Mm? Oh, come on! I see there's something going on! Y'all got a little something going on! Look at you! You're blushing! Do you mind if I say something to you? My friends, Officer Seale, Officer Swanson, they have faith in you. I don't. And that creates a problem because you're in so deep with us now, we can never let you go. So, you'd better learn this stuff stone cold by 0500 hours tomorrow. Or what? I'll kill you. Hey, could we start a few hours later tomorrow? Aargh! Aargh! Aargh! Get dressed. Get dressed. It's 4.59! # The new terrors in rock # On every block # Late for school, late for work # But ahead of these cops # My credit is shot, end up dead in a box # Right, into my life and as pathetic as Pops # Right away blow your life away # So light your haze hold tight grenades # So when it blows I'm slightly grazed # Conniver might be crazed, unleashin' unlikely rage # The next time you hear a verse from me I might be caged # Swirl. Checking for sediment. Sniff. And taste. Morning, Mr Hayes. 5am. No, 5.01! # I believe in people playin' # I believe in people crying # I believe in people breathin' # I believe in people feelin' # Pope. Kevin Pope. Look at this suit! Man, I got initials on my cuffs! The only thing I've had on my cuffs is steak sauce! It say MT. What's that for? Michael Turner. But I thought I was Kevin Pope. Kevin Pope is Michael Turner. cover. He's a successful, knowledgeable, very sophisticated international dealer in fine antiquities. If I'm Jake Hayes playing Kevin Pope playing Michael Turner, I should get two cheques. 'Cheers. This is a rare, expensive cognac. What do you think?' 'Dry.' 'But never precocious.' 'I love your shirt. Egyptian broadcloth?' Three days. Pretty impressive. Yeah, he's bright. I think he can do it. He's got my vote. I didn't say he was capable of saving the world. Let's run a test. Send him to New York, put him in Kevin's apartment. Let the neighbours, the doorman, get a look at him. See if they buy him. It might even serve a double purpose. Whoever tried to kill Kevin probably doesn't know he's dead. He might still be looking for him. So we use him as bait? He'll be protected. What do we tell him? Tell him it's a chance to practise being Kevin. You're the boss. Now, you see the van in front of us? The one behind us? Those are our guys. Here's my cellphone number. Use it if you get into any trouble. What kind of trouble? Any kind. Shark attack, call you. All right. Could you pop the trunk? Take this. Get yourself some shoes. Little punk. Thanks, Tim. Mm. Mm-mm! How was Europe? Like another country. (LAUGHS) Whoo! You could put this on MTV Cribs! Man, this is dope! God! 'So, if I paid taxes, this is where the money would go, huh?' You could have a Puffy party in here! (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) Whoa! (RAP MUSIC PLAYS) What's that music? What's that music? It's just hip-hop stuff. It's terrible. 'Jake, it's your downstairs neighbour, Mrs Patterson.' Don't forget the radio. (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) Hi, Michael! Welcome back! Mwah! Mwah! Vera, how are you? Fine. Fine, thank you. Hi, Annabella. We just came in and the doorman said you were back. Annabella missed you. Too kind! I've been waiting desperately for you to come back. Ah, why? I bought a treasure. Tell me if I got a good buy. OK. Hold your baby. 'Yes, my baby.' 'How was your trip?' This is gonna be a disaster. Yoo-hoo! Go see your nanny, baby. What do you think? Is it a good piece? Er,... it's exquisite! Oh, do you think? Go ahead, pick it up, feel it. See how delicate it is. Er,... pick it up, right? Yes. Just grab it and pick it up. Michael, that's what we keep the doggy treats in. I knew that! I was just getting it out of the way so I could see the... The vase. The vase! Of course, the vase! Yes! May I ask, how much did you pay for this? 150,000. Good Lord! What are you going to put in it? Cocaine?! He fooled the doorman, the neighbour and her dog. Oakes, we need to know who's after that bomb. You're willing to sacrifice him to find out? Don't be dramatic! He's got plenty of protection! I'll tell you when to pull him. '(DANCE MUSIC PLAYS)' 'I hope you're not watching this!' I don't have to watch this, do I, sir? Oh, no! Holy shit! Code red! Code red! 'Code red! Code red!' Whoa! Aargh! Kirsch, McCain, cover the exits! Help! Help! Help! Help! Help! Oh! Aargh! Sir, he's headed for the roof. Sir, he's headed for the roof. We need him alive. Yes, sir. Drop the knife! Hey, Elvis, if you drop the knife and step down, no-one is gonna hurt you. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! So, who's got Jake? OUTKAST'S 'B.O.B.' # One-nine-nine-nine, anno domini, anything goes, be what you wanna be. # Long as you know consequences, to give and for livin'. The fence is... # These last 10 minutes will be used as a teaching aid on how an operation can get totally... Screwed up, sir? Thank you. We'll find him, sir. (PHONE RINGS) Yeah. Where are you? At the corner of Eat Shit and Fuck You! I'm not gonna let you trace me! Bye! I'll call you back! I'm stuck in traffic and I just want one simple thing! Gimme that! Run fingerprints, DNA, anything we can get on the guy who jumped. Sir. He looks Afghani. Don't assume. Just find Jake. Jake` Kevin was murdered! They were gonna murder me! Let's meet someplace` No more bullshit! We lost him because we lied to him. You lost him because you lost him. We treated him like an idiot. He had a right to know what we were doing. We're wasting time. Find him, bring him back. Spare me your conscience. Spare my conscience! Take it easy, buddy! # 'Six Million Ways To Live' - Dub Pistols (PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Hey, Pam, it's Jake. Can I talk to Julie? She don't wanna talk to you! Who's on the phone? I need to talk to Julie! This is serious! Jake? Let me talk to him! She's moving on. Gimme the phone! You ain't nothing but trouble! Two suits came around looking for you. (SIREN WAILS) 'Give me the phone!' Shit! Your phone's tapped! If Julie's there tell her I love her. Oakes, if you're listening, kiss my ass! You get a trace? No. He hung up. Mr Hayes, where are you? Where in the hell are you? Ma. Help! Help! Ma! Ma! Help, somebody! Help! Ma, it's me! Ma, it's me! It's me! Jakey? Yeah, yeah, yeah! You're gonna break my arm! Well, what are you doing in the dark? Some people are looking for me. What did you do? What did you do? I didn't do nothing! I didn't do nothing! It's not what you think! It's not the police! It's way too hard to explain. Look at this! Eight foster kids I've taken in over the years. They made something of themselves. Not one of 'em had your potential! Come on, Ma! Selling, scrambling, and hustling! Ma, did you know I had a brother? Oh, stop talking crazy! You had lots of brothers! How's that nice girl I met last Christmas? She left me. Hand me that umbrella so I can hit you again. Maybe it wasn't my fault! You need money? No. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, I need money. How much do you need? I won $250 at bingo. It's just... It's just for a little while. I'll pay you back. I know. You want something to eat? You know what? I really gotta go. I'm never giving up on you, Jakey. You're gonna do something to make me very proud one day. I know it. I owe you an apology. You hear me? I was wondering how many of your people are listening. We're alone. No cameras, no wires. Just me. You got the floor. Your brother was assassinated. By the same guys who came after me? I guess so. Doing the same job. Which is what? was helping me buy something off the black market. Like Cuban cigars, Playstation 3? What? I can't tell you. I'm not coming back with you if you ain't telling me. Your brother died saving my life. It should have been otherwise, but that's the way it is. How are his parents taking it? You didn't tell his parents? No, that's the way we want it. How would you feel if you died and nobody told your wife? I'm not married. What, there's no Mrs Spy? Not any more. Relationships are useless in this business. Even if they don't shoot you, they take your life. I believe our lives are about something bigger than ourselves. I offer you a chance to commit to something. You offer nothing but a bullet in my ass! I don't see the higher meaning in that! I tell you what I'm gonna do. Thank you. I'll go out and count to 10. If you join me, fine. If not, I'll say I couldn't find you. We can't pull this job off without you. We need you. Think about it. Ah, well. Well, that didn't work did it? No. 'I'm gonna go outside and count to 10'? Who the hell are you? You'd have done better with, 'Bitch, get in the car!' OK. Get in the car. Bitch. This is who tried to kill you. He's a member of a terrorist organisation, led by this man. Meet the man who killed your brother, Dragan Adjanic. He's wanted by The Hague for terrorist crimes. He's a fugitive everywhere in the world, including his own country. He calls his movement The Black Hand. Members take a death pledge, becoming suicide soldiers. Last year the FBI caught four of his men, in a Washington DC motel with enough urea nitrate to level the capital building. He doesn't like America or you. What did I do? He's the rival buyer. For the item this man has to sell. Adrik Vas. He's a Russian, ex-army colonel, kingpin in the Russian Mafia. He's up to his neck in prostitution, drugs, and extortion. Like anybody I went to school with. This is Vas's right-hand man. His name is Michelle Petrov, otherwise known as The Hammer. Remember these faces. You'll be seeing them soon. Why The Hammer? Whoa! Whoo! Aargh! Mmm! Aargh! Wha...? What?! Good evening. Isn't this fun? This is an exercise known as Kim's game. It's to test your awareness. Tell me about your attackers. They woke me up. I need my rest! How many were there? Didn't I say they woke me? That's the weird thing about an ambush. Do you understand what happened to you just now? Yeah. I was jacked! You panicked. When you thought you were in danger your brain shut down. What's the point of a brain if it can't operate? It didn't shut down! It was Swanson. I could feel her tits on my back. I knew it was Carew cos his breath smelled like shit from kissing your ass. I knew it was Seale cos I took his wallet. Hey, Seale, why's a married man need a condom? Your wife know? Wanna know how I knew it was you? Game's over. Goodnight. Where you going? You're gonna leave like that, huh? Come back! Y'all got me up, let's do something! Let's hit a club or something! Based on our intelligence projections and the manual provided by Agent Pope, this is a mockup of what you'll be buying. Does it play DVDs? It's a portable thermonuclear weapon. So, that's a bomb? It's a reproduction. Last year a Russian suitcase bomb was stolen from a dismantling facility. Your brother tracked it down, you'll recover it. Two things you'll do. Would one of them be shitting in my pants? 1 Welcome to Prague. Welcome to Prague. It looks like Newark. Welcome back to the hotel, Mr Turner. Thank you. so glad to have you back, sir. Thank you, Lampenka. I hope you haven't given out my room. Certainly not, sir. This is beautiful. Her name is Lenka. You just called her Lampenka, which means cardboard. (LAUGHS) Man, it's gonna be hard to go back to Jersey! We'll be in the suite across the hall in full video and audio surveillance. All right, when I go to the bathroom press the pause button. Stay in the room, you've got nothing to worry about. Except my little date with a nuclear bomb. OK, this is our lifeline, our only link to Adrik Vas. Nothing happens till he calls. Don't let it out of your sight. And remember there's no Jake, no Kevin, Man, I think I'm gonna like being Michael Turner. # Pretty woman... # I think maybe you wanna take a look at this. What the hell's he up to? '# Pretty woman' (SONG CONTINUES LOUDLY IN CZECH) (LAUGHTER) Hey! Fish egg? They're good, man! Beluga, sir. It's 12,000 crowns an ounce. The party's over. No, the party just started. As soon as y'all leave I'm gonna have my ass buffed. (ALL LAUGH) Hey, this little piggy go to market. Put my initials on the big toe, so people know who's feet this is. (PHONE RINGS) That's Vas. Where's the cellphone? Phone? Phone, phone, phone? (CONTINUES TO RING) Thank you. (GIGGLES) Ssh! Hello? Yeah, we'll be there. It's Vas. The deal's on in an hour. Now your eye. Look right into the computer screen. Wait for confirmation. OK, that's it. From this point on, only you can access your computer. It won't operate without your retinal signature, your eyes. When they show you the bomb, connect your laptop, determine if the bomb is real. Take time doing it, so Wells can download their arming codes, and hopefully their disarming codes, into our computer. Good luck, Mr Hayes. We have visual. You'll do fine. Everyone's nervous the first day of school. I always cut the first day of school. Don't worry, you'll be covered from every angle. I can't wait to meet The Hammer. These guys must be the tool box. Shall we move in, sir? Not until we're sure they brought the bomb. There's too much at stake. Nice coat. Gentlemen, are we going to do business or aren't we? That depends. Where have you been for the last nine days? That doesn't concern you. On the contrary. It concerns me very much. We make a deal, you disappear. Doesn't look good. McCain, be advised targets are armed. Maintain your positions. Everyone maintain your position. Copy that, sir. Do we have a problem? I don't know. You tell me, do we have a problem? Do we? Give me the cellphone I gave you earlier. Don't worry, I only made collect calls. I don't know what this is about but` No, you don't, so shut up! You see this cellphone has a global positioning system. In a moment it'll tell me where you've been the last nine days. Oh. Well, haven't you been busy? (BEEPS) Oh, you get around. Berlin, Rome, Zurich. And not one decent treasure to show for it. Now, where's the money? Where's the product? Nearby. So, how do we do this? I'll call you on this cellphone. Then you have one hour to get the money, Michael. I'll call you again and tell you where to bring it to. Understand? I'm gonna have to run some tests, so bring authentic merchandise. Fair enough. I wouldn't buy a car without checking under the hood. Are we agreed? Yes. No. We're not bringing you money anywhere. No? I'll have someone transfer the remaining 19 million device. It'll be done by computer. My man will be standing by at this address. Send one of your brain trust to verify the money's in your account. Give you a hostage? Yeah, and you get one. A security deposit, which neither of us will get back if we screw up or leave a mess. Simple. Now we have an agreement, I think. Agreed. Don't you go disappearing on me again, Michael! Hey, you did really well, Mr Hayes. You knew they wouldn't bring it, right? Mm-hm. Standard procedure. Guys like him won't risk getting screwed on the first date. And if you hadn't changed the chip in the phone? It would have told him the phone had already travelled to CIA, Langley, and they'd have shot both of us in the heads. I'm hungry. How about you? I think I'm gonna pass. Good night. (MUSIC PLAYS) (WATER RUNS) # Even if I # forget why # You'll always give me # another reason # This is no empty promise # I can depend upon it # You'll always love me like that # Oh, Michael! Hi. This place comes with everything, huh? Could you, er,... hand me a towel? (LAUGHS) Very funny(!) I knew you'd be surprised. I didn't think you'd be shocked. Oh. Hey, you want some room service? No, I'd like a good stiff drink. Oh, shit! It's Nicole. What? This isn't exactly the welcome I expected. Whassup? I made dinner reservations at our favourite place. I love that place! Aren't you happy to see me? Yeah. Good. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Er, I gotta get that. I'll be right back. How are you doing? You see how I'm doing! We have a problem. People pay a lot of money for problems like that. That's Nicole, Michael's girlfriend. She works for CNN in Europe. You didn't tell me Michael had a girlfriend. They broke up weeks ago. They had a fight and she walked out. Well, looks like she forgave him. Why the hell did he fight with her? Well, apparently he had intimacy problems. He was distant. Some kind of psychotherapy crap. She went off to cover the Balkans. OK, so, what do you want me to do? Take her to dinner. She's CNN. If you handle this badly, she could blow your cover. OK? OK. Don't cheat, just eat. Don't cheat, just eat. Don't cheat, just eat. Don't cheat, just eat. That was Jehovah's Witnesses! Michael. I hope you're hungry, baby. Yeah, I just gotta go brush my teeth. (GROANS) (PHONE RINGS) 'You've reached Pam, Marvin, Julie, and the kids.' 'Leave a message at the tone.' 'Julie, it's Jake.' OK, if you haven't left yet please wait for me. Please, please! I got a new job. 'It's totally legit, and I've changed.' 'I have totally changed. I'm a new man.' I'm the man who loves you. I love you. I love you so much. I didn't know how much I loved you till two minutes ago. It's Jake! Julie! I love him! No, you don't! Honey, what's taking you so long? ..Big sacrifices. 'Please wait for me! Please wait for me!' Jake, I heard you! Every word, baby! I'm not going anywhere! I'll be right here! I love you so much! Jake? Jake? Hello? Jake? Jake? Jake? Hello? Jake? 'If you'd like to make a call please hang up -' Thank you. So, are you gonna make me grovel? No, not unless you want to. Is this fish? Yeah, of course, you love fish. But that's before I became a vegetarian. Waiter! Waiter! I can't eat this. Can you get me something else? How about a steak, medium well, please? Thanks. I thought you were a vegetarian. Vegetarian? I'd eat a pig's ass if they cook it right. But enough about me. How about those Balkans? I missed you, Michael. I'm sorry I left. What's the matter? There's somebody else. There is? When did that happen? Right after you left. I left you two weeks ago. I mean, er, did you meet her here in Prague? No, in Jersey. New Jersey? Yeah, I was in New York and Jersey's right next to New York, and I just took a little day trip. Who is she? What does she do? Well, she's a nurse's aid at St Sebastian's Hospital. Her name's Julie, she's got curly hair` I get it. You want me to jump through a couple of hoops before you take me back. OK. I have it coming. But I'm willing to work for it. Ah! Ah! Nicole! You hurt me really bad! And I can't just let you yo-yo with my heart, OK? You hurt me! It won't happen again! Love don't live here any more! Michael, I've never seen you like this! So... open. So,... so in touch with your feelings. (LAUGHS) Like you could really be in love with a nurse from New Jersey. (LAUGHS) You're just much more,... mmm,... warm and vulnerable and,.. (LAUGHS) and funny. Is that, like`? Yeah, you didn't used to be funny. That's funny, hah-hah funny, or this milk tastes funny, funny? See? That's funny! Uh-oh! 1 Jake and Nicole are back. Yeah, and they've got company. OK, let's join the party. I'm Michael! I don't know who you are, but you're not Michael Turner! I'm Michael! You're not Michael! I'm Michael! (SCREAMS) Who's shooting at us? Rival antique dealers! Down here! I haven't been totally honest with you! You're not Michael? We have the same DNA. Makes us kind of the same person! Come on! In there! Come on! Get down! What is this? It's the laundry chute! It's the laundry chute? It smells in here! It's just dirty drawers! Ssh! Quiet! Ssh! Are you trying to play footsie with me? Ssh! (PANTS) (PHONE RINGS) (CONTINUES TO RING) Shut that off! With what? My ass? Reach in my pants. Hell, no! You've reached in my brother's pants! God! Hello? 'Mr Turner?' Vas! You caught me at a real bad time! What are you doing? Just hang up! Shut the hell up! You shut up! Can I call you back? 'Don't bother. The Olsani Cemetery. Two hours' Shit! (There's people coming. There's people coming.) (MOUTHS) (GASPS) (BOTH SCREAM) (GUNSHOT) (BOTH SCREAM) I knew I couldn't trust Michael! Always secretive! Downright sneaky! Never even told me that he had a brother! Some investigative reporter I am, huh? This antique-dealing stuff, just a front, right? You're drug dealers! You're not even denying it! I'm going back to the Balkans where I'm safe! See, I told you I'd handle it! Very smooth! Those were Dragan Adjanic's men. All dead. Well, obviously, he thinks you're still alive. Er, by the way, Vas called. We're on in two hours. Olsani cemetery. Our operatives are staking out their positions. They'll be with you all the way. Wells has installed a tracking device to your vehicle. That's all we can manage safely. Vas will worry about wire taps. Expect him to check your car. Seale is on his way to the transfer site. We want you to begin the verification as soon as possible. Once you're connected to the bomb, the signal will be established between your computer and Wells here. We steal the arming codes while you check it. So they can't detonate it. Right. You may have to stall. You'll hear three short tones when the process is completed. (BEEPS) Once you've heard the tones, you're satisfied the bomb is real, I call Seale and authorise the money transfer. As soon as I get the word from Seale I'll provide confirmation of the transfer of the 19 million dollars from the National Bank. You're gonna give this guy 19 million dollars? 19 million?! Actually, it's all digital dollars. You see, we issue a wire transfer. The receiving bank seeks a sequence, verifying the funds are available. It'll take his bank 48 hours to realise the money doesn't exist. If the shit hits the fan you got that watch. Then, I'll know what time it is when the shit hits the fan. What's this? (ALARM SOUNDS) Hey! Hey! Hey! Somebody just walked out with a sweater! That's a panic button. Press that and the cavalry comes in. A lot of people are counting on you. 1 This is Olsani Cemetery. Almost two million people are buried here. Vas is trying to tell us something? (PHONE RINGS) Yes? (It's Vas.) Yes, he's with me. Grafika Road... East. Grafika Road East, people! Is that one of ours? It's one of theirs. Why's he have someone following us? To make sure no one else is following us. But someone is. That's what makes it so much fun. Make sure they don't get too close. Dog One, this is Carolina. Be advised we're on the loose leash. 'Roger that, Carolina.' There's Mr Smiley. Get out of the car! Your coats, please. Thank you. (BEEPS) (BEEPS) You must be very trusting people to come out here all alone, unarmed. What makes you think we're alone? Ah! Straight ahead. Parrish, McCain, come in. OK. We're in position. 'Sir, we're in place outside Chotesov Monastery.' Ah, here they are! My good friend, Michael! Welcome... to my church, where we worship money! OK, let's get started. You wanted to look under the hood. Well, look under the hood! We're online! Let's go to work, people! Casing unit,... apex mirror. Detonating block. (ALARM SOUNDS) This is insanity! Just one electrical surge and you'll blow us all to hell! Chill, Michelle! I mean, relax! Relax, Michelle! Downloading new authentication code. 117 seconds to completion. Now, as soon as I verify the uranium deflector is of weapons grade, we can all be on our merry way. Uranium deflector? This is plutonium reflector! This is plutonium reflector! Plutonium. That's what I meant. Plutonium. 60 seconds! Michael, why is this taking so long time? I'm running a diagnostic test. If you stayed on top of things you'd understand that traditional checks are not foolproof. This test was designed by the head of nuclear science at Caltech ` a Dr Dre. 30 seconds! Dr Dre, along with Dr Irving and Professor Griffin, the rest of the Wu-Tang Clan, know it is best, when you have a baseline screen situation, to achieve a post-opular cataclysmic calibration, or something we like to call the Shaq Attack. Shaq Attack? Yes, named after Dr O'Neal of Los Angeles, formerly of Orlando. All we need are the arming and disarming codes. It's a mess. I don't know what's what. We'll have to dump it all to get the codes. I hope he stalls long enough. What we're doing right now can help not only in nuclear energy, but also medicine, food... (BEEPS THREE TIMES) I believe everything is in order. Sorry, sir. The codes have been moved to Jake's computer? Get him back here! You've got the bomb! Now, where is my remaining 19 million dollars? (PHONE RINGS) Yes? Show them the money. Copy that. Vas's account number received. Initiating wire transfer from National Bank of bullshit. Man, is Vas gonna be pissed when he goes to an ATM! Fantastic! It's working! Hah! I love it! Americans and Russians work together with Swiss bank accounts! Gentlemen, I hope to see you never again. (LAUGHS) Dragan Adjanic! Know any good prayers? You got a lot of nerve showing your face! That's the guy killed my brother, isn't it? Uh-huh. Michelle, what the hell is he doing here? Hey, Michelle! I told you not to deal with him! What's happening? Somebody do something! Very interesting. Vas has been double-crossed by his own men. Come on, shoot him! What time is it, Mr Hayes? (ALARM SOUNDS) Code red! Code red! Everybody move! Kill him. Here's the computer. There's your bloody bomb. Where's my money? Triple cross! Come on! Having fun, Mr Hayes? Don't shoot the bomb, you fool! Don't shoot me either! Go! Go! Take the bomb! I'm going! You drive! Go on! Wait for me! (BEEPS) Go faster! I'm going! I'm going! It's a blood bath, sir. Vas and his men are dead. Come on, man! Shoot the tyres on it or something! Can't get close! Throw out some tacks or something! You got your wish. I wish for Jennifer Lopez naked! They're not here. I have satellite position on them. I assure you, they're there. Wait a minute. Hold on, sir. They lost their tracking device. Whoa! What the hell are you doing? What, not smooth enough for ya ass? There's a bomb in the back seat! There's a bomb in the seat! Yeah! Oh, we're gonna die! Have a little faith, Mr Hayes. I'll have a little faith if you'll give me a little gun! Damn! Aaargh! Oh! Aaaaaargh! Are you OK? Here they come! Here they come! Pull back! Pull back! Shoot them! Shoot somebody! I don't have any bullets! Pull back! Come on! Pull back! Hit him! Hit the son-of-a-bitch! Aaaaargh! Aaargh! Get off! Off! Take a bus! No! Uh-oh! Whoop his ass! Yeah! Get off! Kill him! Shoot him! Do something! I got glass in my eyes! I wanna go to Jersey! I wanna see my girl! I wanna watch Oprah! Put your head in the car! Put your head in the damn car! Hey, they're whopping your ass! Go! Go! Take it! Aargh! Take him! Pull back up! OK, OK! I'm backing up! Get the bomb! Get the bomb! Faster! I can't! No! No, no! Do something! I want more money! Aargh! Aargh! Aaaaargh! Ow! I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. MAN: Look around. As the Favourites come out, it begins. Working as the Dream team. Nice! Ah. The flirt. Classic! Cadbury Favourites. 1 Someone give me some good news. He downloaded the codes into the computer. They have the computer. True, but he's put his retinal signature in. Try again. 'They can't access it without Jake.' 'Wouldn't they figure that out?' What do we do now? Make sure Jake's eyes don't meet that computer screen. Eventually someone will access the code without Jake. Basically, we... Must find them before that happens. Well,... there is the obvious way to flush them out. We dangle him? No, give him a wire. They pick him up. If his eyes get anywhere near that computer we take everyone out. Including him. I need an executive finding from the President. He's expendable? You get the subject on board. Tell him whatever you want. Subject? Oakes, we both know this is the only way. Yeah. No! No, it ain't happening! No! You want me to be a little worm on a hook! They never heard of Jake Hayes! They don't even know I exist! Just let me go back to Jersey, get my girl, and disappear! Hey, man, I'm sorry I'm not Kevin. But even Kevin didn't make it out of this alive. Will you let me show you something? No! That's Jersey. So what? Let's look at where you live. Where Julie lives, your foster mother. These people have a nuclear bomb, Jake. (BOOMS) The blast alone will kill thousands. Then comes the shock wave, blowing away buildings, tunnels, bridges. And then comes our old friend, radiation. Spread by wind and water, infecting the living and the unborn. I think we... Just you and me might have a chance to stop it, that's all I'm saying. Cos they've got us in check, Mr Hayes, and, er,... we can't let them get checkmate, can we? Look,... the way I see it you only got three moves. Attack, retreat, or block. You can't attack cos you don't know where they are. Retreat? Boom! Then, we block. You can block, but you only got one piece left. And that's a pawn. Sir, these gentlemen wish to see Mr Turner's phone records. phone records are sealed! to the United States, to Jersey City, New Jersey. What? No! Aargh! Help! Go! Go! What do you want? Just take whatever you want! Shush, shush, shush! What is your connection to Michael Turner? I don't... Who? Him. That's my boyfriend! That's Jake! Did he sell you bad tickets? 'Y'all still there, right?' Yes, we're still here, Mr Hayes. 'Y'all got guns, right?' Yes, we have guns, Mr Hayes. 'OK. Make sure you got bullets in 'em.' Mm-hm. Lots of bullets. (PHONE RINGS) (CONTINUES TO RING) Answer the phone, Mr Hayes. Jake? Julie! How'd you find me? Michael Turner? 'Who's this?' 'Or should I call you Jake, Mr Hayes?' You have one chance of seeing this woman alive. Take the next plane to New York, return to your apartment and wait till I call you. If you're followed she will die. If you involve any authorities, she will die. Just let me talk to her! (BEEPS) Hello? Hello? Sorry! Sorry! You used Julie! She was your pawn, right? No. This bullshit about something bigger meant bigger than me and Julie! Let me explain. Just get me on the plane! (RADIO CHATTER) It's gotta come up now. Huh? Now! All right. Yeah. I'm injecting a spread-spectral trans-serum behind your ear. So we'll hear what you hear, and if they take you to the bomb we'll know. Hold still, please. Aargh! Aargh! You can't put that in a flower? It would be too obvious. Now, I'll be linked to you the whole time. That's it. Good luck, John. There's something I ought to tell you. If the situation gets outta hand they could take me and Julie out. Don't worry, son. There'll be extra money in this mission. I'm not your son! Did it occur to you I might do it cos it's right? I'm the one with the dead brother! I'm the one who misses his girl! I put up with your shit cos you're a spy? Every woman's a spy! You guys can't find Saddam Hussein! If you told a woman right now at 8 in the morning that her husband was sleeping with Saddam Hussein, she'd find Saddam by 8 o'clock that night and say, 'Saddam, don't you EVER come round my house!' Hey, I did you a favour, OK? You called me! If you talk down to me, I'll beat your ass so bad you'll be the only guy in heaven with a wheelchair! Act right before you get smacked right, bitch! All right, the show's over. Go back to work. A bomb on American soil. That's a nightmare we've always talked about. How'd they get it here? You'd be surprised what you can send air freight. Did we? Did we use his girlfriend, huh? No, but I'm sure Yates would if he thought of it. (PHONE RINGS) Hello? Listen closely. No, no! YOU listen closely! I've gotta hear her voice! I wanna hear her voice now! You are in no position to make demands, Mr Hayes. But if it gives you pleasure... Aaaaaaargh! Aaaaaaargh! No! No! Don't hurt her! Tell me what you want! They want him to wait outside his apartment for a car to pick him up. We've set up a tail. How do they shake us? They'll think we're shadowing 'em. So, they may move him 20 times before they think they've lost us. OK, we got the grey Ford van, grey Ford van. I wish we didn't have to do this. I'm sorry if my plan lacks the perfect precision with which you've handled the case. Radiation detection units are scouring the city. We've issued AGV spectrometers to all surveillance teams. We need to talk worst-case scenario. Evacuation readiness. Let's have the National Guard stand by. 'National Guard, this is com centre four. Stand by for instruction.' 'Roger that, com centre four. Standing by.' They're pulling into the abandoned St Francis Hospital, sir. Take positions. Take positions. We have six viable entry points. Move! Where's Julie? Quiet! Do as you're told! Where's Julie? I hope you're going to play ball with us. That's Dragan. Hey, man, I ain't doing shit till I find Julie. Oh. (CRACKLES) Aargh! What the hell was that? We've lost the audio. Move to the contingency plan. Don't take any chances. Hit your entry points hard on my command. If it breathes, it dies. Hold it! I think we've got something! Pull back! Entry teams, pull back! Here he comes! OK, they're moving him. Everything's going according to plan. Back on plan, people! Keep your distance, folks. They may do this dance all day long. You're on your own now, Mr Hayes. (CRACKLES) (BEEPS) Sir, I'm getting a signal back with Hayes. See if you can clean it up. Will do. I'm heading down to Communications. Looks like they're heading back to Jersey. I wonder what the hell they're doing. Sir, what are you doing? 1 Your eyes are going to activate this computer. The only question is, will they still be in your head? Where's Julie? Oh, she's lovely! And she will stay that way if you co-operate. Open your eyes and look into the computer! 'Open your damn eyes!' 'No!' Trying to scan his eyes. Jesus! The bomb is in the van! Entry teams, the van is hot! Move now! Cut away his eye lids. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaargh! They're gonna take out Jake. It isn't Jake. How do you know? A decoy. He had a bag over his head. You do the math. Faster! Go! Hold your fire! Subject is down! Repeat, Jake Hayes is down! It's not him! The bomb's not here! (SPEAKS GREEK) Endaksi. It's done. Thank you. See you on the other side. Did you use the password? Password? Hey, I don't speak terrorist, but I only counted eight number sequences. And you're gonna need a seven-letter password to activate the mechanism. (SPEAKS GREEK) (CONTINUES TO SPEAK GREEK) Bullshit! No, see, there's - there's eight letters! There's no password. The bomb is already armed. Hi. What took you so long? I almost killed somebody! Did they arm the bomb? Yeah, this one called in the enabling codes. I gotta find Julie! OK, the bomb is hot. A fail-safe measure built in gives a short countdown period. How short? On the outside, 20 minutes. What's the inside? Five to 10. They say where the bomb was? No. She's not here! When we find the bomb we'll find her. Did they say anything? Just think. Try and remember. Come on. Redial! They called in the codes! They called in the codes! OK, hold on. Gimme the address to this number. 431974. I need this address. Listen! Listen! Take me to that address! I need it now! Not later, now! OK, it's coming! Is it coming yet? What's up, folks? 89 East 42nd Street! 89 East 42nd? That's Grand Central Station! Three blocks from here! Come on! Support can be there in 20 minutes. Gangway! CIA coming through! Get out the way! Get out the way! Get out the way! Get out the way! Move it! Move it! Get out the way! Move it! Move it! Out of the way! Move it! The call originated from over there. Could be anywhere! Times Square's a few blocks away! Power grids! The infrastructure could collapse! I'm getting something! This is a gamma scintillation probe. The case is lined with lead. We'd get a hit within 100 yards. So, we got a hit? The auto-range indicates it's here. Here where? It's right here, the signal is constant! (BEEPS) It's under us! Come on, run! run! Get out of the way! The signal's getting stronger! CIA! We need your help! Out of the way! Out of the way! (SIRENS WAIL) Move! Move! Move! This way! We're real close! What's in there? Lost luggage. Open it! This lock's been tampered with. Get away from the door! Jake, get the bomb. I'll cover you. Why don't you get the bomb and I'll cover you? OK, I'll get the bomb! Jake, go! Go! Julie! No, no! Hold on! Hold on! Jake. Jake, where are you? I'm coming! The final phase! Three minutes and it's goodbye to half of Manhattan. I need you for the code. You said we'd find Julie! I need you here now. Come on! I'll find her. (GROANS) You're bleeding, man! You're bleeding! Now, listen to me. When they scanned your eyes you saw the codes. Try and remember them. I hear numbers, my brain converts 'em into chess moves or seats. It's the only way I can remember. Take your time. You know the codes. You can do it. OK. Queen to bishop three. Across from mezzanine section... ..3,... ..0, 4! OK, listen, I saw a queen to bishop three. Aisle seat in section... ..142. Two more to go. OK. I think I got it! Did you find her? (GUNSHOT) (CRIES) Touch that bomb, she dies! Keep going, Jake. If the bomb goes off, everybody dies. Two more numbers. You'll learn what death is. Your country grows fat while people all over the world starve. You stay at home. You watch our blood spilled on television. War reduced to video games. He's stalling, Jake. Enter the codes... now! You take sides in conflicts you know nothing about. Dictating to other people how they should live. You're so keen on playing God, well, now is your chance to meet him. I'll give you three seconds, then I'll kill her! Go ahead! One! Two! No! I'll kill you! Three! Jake! Honey, honey! I love you! Let me do this! Rook, six. Four, three. OK. OK. One more! One more! (SCREAMS) (WHISPERS) (BEEPS) Well, that's done. That's it? That's all it does? Beep, beep, beep? It was all we wanted it to do. (BOOMS / SHATTERS) Jake! It's OK! Clear! Go ahead! Officer Seale is down. We need a medic. It's OK! Where's the bomb? Right here. Mr Hayes defused the bomb. Don't worry! I gotcha! Oakes has been hit! I love you! I missed you! I missed you, too! People, we did it! Which star is your brother's? There are no names, Ma. Agent identities are never revealed, even after they die. But they're all honoured here. Their names are written in this book, their families sign it, and then the pages are sealed forever. A book of forgotten heroes. No, they're not forgotten. Jake. Hey! Thanks for keeping me off that wall. Well, stay off of it. Ma, this is from me and Julie. I just hope it brings a little joy in your life. Oh, I knew you'd make me proud! (LAUGHS) Oh, this is just such... Oh, good Lord! $90,000! That's the wrong one! This is yours! This is for when we get married. Oh, 10,000's much more than I need! Then, give some back! Hey, honey, can you walk Ma to the car? I gotta talk to Oakes. Yeah. Congratulations on your engagement. So, I'll see you at the wedding? Goodbye, Mr Hayes. Oh, I see. No personal attachments. How are you? Hey, whassup? Oh, man! Congratulations, Mr Hayes. Oakes! You didn't RSVP. I figured weddings aren't your thing. A new assignment. Undercover at a black wedding? A friend of Kevin's escaped from Riker's Island. I don't care if he escaped from Temptation Island! I'm not going! I just got married! It's Carlos Palmeros, the world's foremost assassin. I don't care if it's Carlos Santana! Foremost assassin? That's like the Tiger Woods of murder! Kevin was responsible for putting him away. He thinks you're Kevin, so he's coming after you. Oooh! No! No! That's not happening! I just got married! I'm gonna be happy for two years and miserable for 90, just like everybody else! I got you! I got you! So, there's no killer? No. Not yet. So, you just came here for my wedding? I wouldn't have missed it. I get it. So, you and Swanson are next! Me? No! I'm never gonna get married again! Never gonna get married again? First thing you learn is, don't take your girlfriend to a wedding! We may need to call on you in the future. It's your wedding present from us at the Agency. Two tickets to Hawaii! I can't take this, Oakes. Jake, sweetie, come on! Your wife is calling you, Mr Hayes. Husband! Get in the car, bitch. Hey, Oakes! (ALL CHEER) Never say never! # I'm all out of love. # I'm so lost without you. # I know you were right, believing for so long. # I'm all out of love. # What am I without you? # I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong # IMS Subtitles www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Able 2016