Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2017 GIRL: My teacher made us all pick a pen pal from a list they gave us. The girls had to pick boys, and the boys had to pick girls. I picked you because you said you liked The Wizard of Oz, and I do too. The most popular girl in our class said she's not going to send her pen pal a picture. So let's not send any, OK? Even if you sent me a bad picture, I'd write back. My pictures always suck. I get nervous and smile all goofy. But my teacher says we gotta send one, so here it goes. (LIGHT MUSIC) I can't believe we actually email each other now. That's so cool. It's like having you down the hall. (COMPUTER CHIMES) But I still think we should stick to our original pact of no phone calls. And, hey, you, I got your picture. I suppose it's only fair that I send one back. Oh, and I got into Columbia. I wish us to go to the same university, but the good news is ` I got accepted to Notre Dame. The best news is ` I had a dream about you last night. We were together under a full moon. I love it when you talk about us being under the same moon. I feel I'm with you even though we're so far apart. Isn't it funny how you can miss someone you've never met? DEEPER VOICE: I actually managed to graduate ` surprise, surprise. And get this ` I got the job! Toy Matters ` one of the largest toy manufacturers in the country. They're based in Denver, so I can start up as soon as I get back from school. Oh, by the way, I got dumped ` again. Oh well. You're the only girl I can really talk to anyway. Only a month till Christmas ` it's my favourite time of the year, but my so-called boyfriend just walked out on me, and I already bought his present, the creep. I don't suppose you need an electric nose-hair trimmer, do you? He did. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) I've been thinking about you so much. I wonder if we'll ever meet each other. Don't know when or if,... but as always, until then... BOTH: ...I'll see you under the moon. MAN: Crawford, get in here! (LAPTOP POWERS DOWN, PHONE RINGS) Yes, sir? Ah. So, how are things in the scintillating world of obituaries? To be honest, sir, they're... pretty dead. That's funny, Crawford (!) How long have you been doin' the deceased? About a year now. But I've enjoyed every minute of it. Oh. You lie convincingly. That's a trait I respect in a reporter. Now, listen, next week, the annual toy conference is coming to Boston. Anyway, what with it being Yuletide and all, Sullivan over in Features thought it might make a good article. We got readers who eat that holiday crap right up. So do you want it? Me? (CHUCKLES IN DISBELIEF) Yes! I can't believe you're giving me a real story. Thank you! Thank you, sir. It'll be about as exciting as watching chestnuts roast, but what the hey ` we got readers who` ...eat that holiday crap right up. Right. (CHAIR SQUEAKS) Here... (GRUNTS) is a list of the attendees. Sir, you will not be disappointed. I'm gonna give you the best story of the year. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. Just make it interesting. Are you sure about this list, sir? Yup. Only the majors are comin' ` Kramer, Finkus, Herschells and... Toy... ...Matters. Toy Matters. Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I can't do it, sir. (RAPID TYPING) Look, Crawford, do you want it or not? It's just` Forget it. I'll get Sullivan to write it. Hey, Sully! MAN: Yeah? Wait. Wait. I can do it. (PHONE RINGS DISTANTLY) OK. Thank you. So much for Mr Santy Claus. (SIGHS) (CHAIR CLICKS, SQUEAKS) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS, LASER ZAPS REPEATEDLY, PHONE RINGS DISTANTLY) ELECTRONIC MALE VOICE: You've got mail. (SQUEAKY BARKING) (SIGHS) (DISTORTED RECORDING PLAYS) (TYPES) (PEN CLATTERS) Oh my God. She knows? (LASER ZAPS REPEATEDLY, TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) Um... I can't go. I just` I can't g` Mr Howard, I cannot` Mr Howard, I cannot... Mr` M... (KNOCK AT DOOR) (CLEARS THROAT) Seth. Mr Howard, I was just, uh` I was just comin' to see you. I just wanted to make sure you're really... ready for the conference. Um, well, actually, that's exactly what I need to talk to you about. I just` Listen, you know we've already announced we're going public. So there's gonna be lots of questions from lots of people. I know that, sir, but` You know Angelica's gonna be there, and you know how important she is to complicated that could be. Right. Competition is gonna be fierce, so I'm gonna need you to watch my back. Yes, sir. (ENGINES ROAR) RT: Lunch will be served momentarily. Thank you. Hi. RT: Ladies and gentlemen, although the 'fasten seatbelt' sign has been switched off... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yeah. Wanna switch seats? HUSHED: Oh, no, no. Dude, I'm just throwin' out some vibe. Right now, enjoy the view. SOFTLY: OK. Hey, who is that? See, no, lemme ask you something ` if this plane actually crashed and we had to use our seat as a flotation device, you think actually locking your hands and your wrists would actually hold you? HUSHED: Cos I'm thinking no way, man. I'm thinkin' this thing is totally misleading. CHUCKLES GENTLY: Just kidding. HUSHED: I'm scared. So, whatcha think? (CLICKS TONGUE) It was... unusual. (GLASS THUDS SOFTLY) It's meatloaf. Oh. (CUTLERY CLINKS) What? I mean, I've only had, like, two classes, and my teacher encourages us to be creative and experiment ` you know, use whatever we have in our spice racks. All you have in your spice rack is chocolate sprinkles. You could taste them? (CUTLERY CLINKS) What do you say tomorrow I try my chicken cacciatore for you? Chicken ` yay (!) (DISH, CUTLERY CLATTERS) I'm just kidding. Actually, I really can't. Oh my God, do you have a date? No, and thank you for being so shocked at the possibility (!) Well, sorry 'bout that. (SIGHS) I actually have an assignment. A story? Uh-huh. Really? That's amazing. I know,... but` But what? I thought that was everything you ever wanted. Seth's gonna be there. Seth? Your Seth? (GENTLE CHATTER) How do you do this? What? You know,... the ladies ` you make it look so easy. Hey, man, I am an actor. Matt, c'mon, you did one commercial for ant traps ` you played the ant. But it was a believable ant. I made it completely organic` And you were... fabulous, but I'm not talking about your life; I'm talking about real life; I'm talking about my life. CHUCKLES GENTLY: Oh. You know how much trouble I have meeting girls? I just start talking to them, and then my mouth just... disconnects from my brain. I start talking about cheese snacks or, you know, some really cool website they gotta check out. (CHUCKLES) The only fruitful relationship I've ever had with a girl has been on paper. How sad is that? I can't believe you're talking about Love Letter Seth. What do you mean 'love letters'? The guy who handwrote you letters for years and agreed never to phone you all because of a pact you made 13 years ago. Those are love letters. No. Our rela... Our friendship, (SIGHS) it's based on letter-writing. Yeah, right (!) Go get them. Get what? Go. It's a big deal for you. I mean, you're finally gonna meet this paper doll that you've been writing to for the last, what, hundred years. No, man, this is gigantic. It's frickin' enormous. More than that ` it's ginormous. Ginormous. I should be a writer. How do ya spell 'ginormous'? OK, Matt, hold on, OK? There are things going on here that you don't understand, OK? Things at work. Like, I'm very nervous about this trip. Yeah, yeah, I know ` it's clear. It's a big career thing ` the toys, they need you. No. No, no, no, it's more than that. I didn't even wanna come on this trip, but Mr Howard insisted. You know, the guy gave me my start in this business. I can hardly refuse. CHUCKLES GENTLY: Yeah. (GIRLS GIGGLE) Hello? (SNAPS FINGERS) Listen to me, OK? There's this... thing with Gina that I think that... SOFTLY: Ohhhhh! Finally, some truth. (CHUCKLES) Just, hey, look, man, you're gonna be great. (SIGHS) Ha. I assume you melt each time you read them. From what?! 'From what?' From this. He so obviously wants you. I mean, these aren't even the most recent ones; I can't imagine how steamy they get. (INHALES DEEPLY) OK, seriously, where are you getting this from? Look. Right there ` read that. (INHALES DEEPLY) (CLEARS THROAT) READS: I got your letter yesterday. Oh my God. You're so right ` he's practically proposing right there (!) Keep reading. READS: 'I can't believe how great you sound. 'I'm glad that things are going so well for you.' See? No. Oh, c'mon! That so obviously translates to, 'I hate how good you sound without me. 'I can't believe how well things are going for you even though I'm not there.' OK, (CHUCKLES DRILY) you're crazy. I mean, if he felt that way, he would've just come out and said it... or written it or whatever. He has written it over and over again, obviously. You're just in denial. No, I'm just realistic. She's gonna take one look at you, and she's gonna know. She's gonna know. That's what I'm afraid of. SOFTLY: Hello. Scuse me, partner. (LIGHT, AMUSING MUSIC) Hi. Matthew. Hi. Matt. (GIGGLES) (KISSES) So, come here often? (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (MUSIC SWELLS) (AMUSING, EXPECTANT MUSIC) (HORNS BLARE DISTANTLY) READS: And as always, see you under the moon. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Yeah, we always sign off the same way ` ever since the very first letter. We always knew that we would meet each other, and the only thing that we knew for sure is that it would be under the moon. That's so romantic ` faithful pen pals kept apart by circumstance with only their written words to sustain them, destined to meet one day and fall madly and passionately in love. It's so romantic. It's so hot. (INHALES DEEPLY) Ellen, I have to tell you something ` two things, actually. One is there's a really big difference between reality and romance, and sometimes you just kinda have to pick one or the other. So pick romance. And how can you not be more excited about this? No, I am excited; it's just... OK, remember in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy finally meets the Wizard, who she thought could do no wrong? And then she realises he's just this regular guy; there's not really anything that special about him. So? So what if Seth is my Wizard? Or worse, what if I'm his Wizard? Mm-mm. I'd rather just leave well enough alone. Didn't your mother ever tell you that? Yeah, but she also told me that if I kept crossing my eyes, they'd stay that way. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I guess I'm just not ready to say goodbye to the fantasy. What, so you're gonna stand him up? I mean, God, that's so wrong! All he'll be left with are pictures of you. That's kinda the other thing that I wanted to talk to you about. He'll be, uh, left with... pictures of you. He what?! I know. I know, it's crazy, right? But (SIGHS) you knew me when we were little ` I mean, I was awkward and` and ugly, and I get zits! But you were always so annoyingly perfect. So when it came time to send a picture, I found this really good one. Only, it was of you, and I never really thought that he would find out. Wait, so all of the pictures he has are of me. Mm-hm, but thank God we're still friends, because it would've really complicated things if I sent a picture of someone else. Oh, right, that would've complicated things (!) You're about to stand up a guy that you've been mooning about for the past 13 years and let him spend the rest of his life dreaming about a woman who doesn't even exist. What? You exist. I know I exist,... and you exist, but my face and your personality ` she does not exist. I know. I know, I know. So... that's why I was thinking... maybe you would go. Are you out of your mind?! First of all, I could never pull that off, and secondly, no! But you could totally pull that off! I mean, you've known me for, like, a hundreds years. Besides, (SCOFFS) you owe me. What?! Because of the meatloaf! I did not know it was gonna taste like that! (SIGHS) Ellen,... please. Please. It will just be one night. You'll go to dinner; you'll be charming. Well, I am charming. The charming-est. And he'll be happy,... and I'll be happy. Everyone will be happy. See? Happy. (INTENSIFYING, INTRIGUING MUSIC) I gotta tell him. I gotta tell him. (SWITCH CLICKS) Matt. Matt. (ELEVATOR BELL DINGS DISTANTLY) SOFTLY: Matt. (MOANS) Matt, wake up! What? I didn't know she had a boyfriend. It's me. (SIGHS SOFTLY) Seth? (SIGHS) What the hell time is it? I can't do it. Gina ` I can't go see her. I can't go through with it. What are you talkin' about? I can't see her. Of course you can. Look, she probably knows you better than anyone else in the world ` well, except for your mother, and that's only because your mother's seen you naked, and Gina hasn't... (SIGHS) ...yet. You don't understand ` she hasn't... really seen me. (SIGHS) She has ` she's seen your picture, and if she's not already disappointed, you're cool. Well, that's kinda the thing, kind of the... the real reason that I brought you on this trip, Matt. What are you talking about? Well, you see, the` the pictures that I've been sending to Gina over the years, they... they're weren't exactly... (SIGHS) ...accurate. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) CHUCKLES: No, you didn't. Did you...? You did. You sent her the picture with you in the 'metal mullet' phase with the... (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) Whoa, dude. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) I mean, we all got things we regret, but your m... (BOTH LAUGH) No, actually, they're pictures of you. (CLEARS THROAT, CLICKS TONGUE) (INTRIGUING CHRISTMAS MUSIC) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (SIGHS, SCOFFS) (GENTLE CHATTER) (CELL PHONE RINGS) Yeah. Seth! Dude, OK, j-just listen to me, OK? Listen, just one quick question one more time ` why am I doing this? Why? Uh, because you're my best friend, OK? That's number one. Number two ` because I paid for this fabulous vacation in Boston,... Oh. ...and, number three, well, because I'll throw in an extra 50 bucks. Oh, 50 bucks (!) CHUCKLES DRILY: A whole 50 bucks! Wow (!) I might just up and go to Vegas on that (!) C'mon, Seth, I mean, what do I know about making toys? I'm not a frickin' elf. But you are an actor, so act. No, no, I'm an out-of-work actor, and besides the whole ant thing, I've never actually been paid to act. I'm like a volunteer. Well, then, this is like your second professional gig. Man, your career is looking up (!) You know, you're right. You're right. Just` Just have fun with it, you know? Live in the or` organic moment or whatever it is you guys do. OK. (CELL PHONE SHUTS) (CELL PHONE BEEPS) She is gonna think I am such... an idiot. (HORN TOOTS DISTANTLY) ('HARK! THE HERALD ANGELS SING' INSTRUMENTAL) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS) Hi. (EXHALES SLOWLY) Have you seen her yet? No, I` I've been waiting. I, um... I-I didn't know that you knew, sir. It's a heck of a place to meet, huh ` all this crowd. My God, the whole industry. Well, yes, but` Oh Lord. There she is. Oh. It's Miss Davis. (CLEARS THROAT) It's our first time in public together. Ah. (GENTLE CHATTER) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS SOFTLY) So nice to meet you finally. Nice to meet you. Please excuse me just for one sec. This kid is great... C'mon, Matt, where the hell are you? (SIGHS) (CELL PHONE BEEPS REPEATEDLY) Hi. Are you looking for something? Uh, yeah, yeah, I am. Do you know where there are any payphones around here? Uh, I don't think they make those any more. (CHUCKLES DRILY) Well, I hope they do ` I can't get any cell-phone reception in here. Isn't modern technology wonderful? (CHUCKLES DRILY, SHUTS CELL PHONE) Listen, I couldn't help but notice you talkin' to those two. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) Aren't they the presidents of two of the largest toy companies in the nation? It is a toy conference. Right, but aren't they arch-rivals? (CELL PHONE RINGS) Uh... Modern technology ` go figure. Where the hell are you? Oh, Riley, sorry. What is it? (BOTH CHUCKLE) Yes, she's here, and, yeah, they are together. I can't keep them apart. Riley, they're grown-ups ` I don't think they're gonna be making out in public. I know it's the quiet period. I know about IPO regs, and so do th... (CLICKING) Riley? Ri` Riley. Dammit. (SOFT BIFF) Sorry. Um, do you happen to have any idea where there's a payphone? No. Listen, did you just say that there's an affair going on with those two? You shouldn't have heard that. In fact, please pretend that you didn't, OK? Look, I'm sorry. I really have to go. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (SCOFFS SOFTLY) (GIGGLES) So he says to me, 'I love your product, and if you can give...' (HORN BLARES DISTANTLY) HUSHED: 'Oh my God, she's (CHUCKLES GENTLY) hot! 'Good boy!' OK, (READS) 'Toy Matters, New Product Research and Development, graduate Notre Dame. 'Ask about his mom, not his dad ` he's deaf.' Seth? Huh? Oh, yeah. Gina. Gina, right. Hi. Uh... (EXHALES SOFTLY) Well, it's so nice to see you after never seeing you. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) Yeah, you too. (CLICKS TONGUE) So... (CHUCKLES GENTLY) So, yeah, right, uh, you look just like your picture. That's what I hear. (BOTH CHUCKLE) Uh... (EXHALES SOFTLY) So, how was your flight? Yeah, it was good. You know, girls, short skirts, sellin' booze, free peanuts ` what's not to like? (CHUCKLES GENTLY) I mean, it was total` very routine ` you know, up, down, uh, worked on my computer most of the time. I'm really kinda very obnoxious that way. Oh. I'll... make a note of that. So, toys, huh? Workin' on anything new, you know, for Christmas? Uh, yeah, actually, we` we are. We're, uh` We're doin' this new, like, robot. (BEAT-BOXES POORLY) It's, like, a thing, you know. I was` I was doing a-a ro... It's a doll ` complicated. Yeah. Seems it. (INHALES DEEPLY) So, you want me to show you round Boston? We could go to Fenway, The Prudential; we could walk along the Charles. I w... Oh, you know, shouldn't we be goin' to the toy conference? Right? I-I believe today we're gonna be discussing playing with others 'verse' just playing with yourself. (CHUCKLES SHEEPISHLY) You know I... I didn't mean just, like, I play w... Oh. (BOTH CHUCKLE AWKWARDLY) You... Did you say Fenway? (INTRIGUING CHRISTMAS MUSIC) (GLASSES RATTLE SOFTLY) (TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS DISTANTLY) Mr Dugan. Oh, hey, Sullivan, all right, you gotta tell Mr Dugan about this ` Angelica Davis and Bill Howard. They're the presidents of Toy Matters and Herschells. OK, listen, I think I have a really big story brewing. They are seeing each other secretly. I mean, imagine the implications ` trading secrets, new designs, financial strategies. Oh, well, imagine the outcry when the shareholders find out about this. SOFTLY: Hi. You're a reporter? (SIGHS) Great (!) Yeah. Yeah, yeah, OK. Just tell him I'm on it. OK, bye. (CELL PHONE BEEPS) (SHUTS CELL PHONE) (SIGHS) (MR HOWARD CHUCKLES) Ooh. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) Oh. Mr Howard, I was` I was just coming to get you. I, uh` I didn't want you to miss a thing. Oh. (CHUCKLES GENTLY) (CLEARS THROAT) Hey, listen, you'd make me very happy if you called me Bill. You're making me feel very old, son. (CHUCKLES DRILY) And I gotta tell ya ` I am so proud of the work you've been doing. Your new designs have helped us get the support we need to take the company public. Oh. They just make us stand out. You know, hiring you was one of the best corporate decisions I ever made. I really, really don't deserve that kind of praise. Don't be so modest. It's been a great year for us. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) But listen... I noticed some reporters snooping around. Any publicity right now could destroy us and jeopardise our companies. Angelica, there you are. Hi, Howard. (CELL PHONE BUZZES) Are you OK? Mm-hm. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) We'll see inside, huh? Uh-huh. (SIGHS) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) This can't be happening. CAROLLERS: # Deck the halls with boughs of holly. # Fa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-la. Perfect! Christmas carollers. Um, Seth, we don't have to, really. Oh, come on. I know you love this stuff. Yeah, it's... so... seasonal. (CAROLLERS CONTINUE IN DISTANCE) (SIGHS) What? MAN: Ho, ho, ho! This is big-X Xmas. Merry Christmas! What's more big-X than carollers? Yeah, it's just this on song. It reminds me of a friend... who should be here. A pox upon their house. Allow me to whisk you away from this sorry place where good Christmas awaits. OK. Come, my lady. Ho, ho, ho! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas! (SMOOTH JAZZ) For Madame, a hazelnut latte double mocha Yuletide special. Custom-made for her lips. Decaf, of course. Wow. How do you drink it? Glad I'm prepared. (LAUGHS) Does Madame have any other wishes? Not just now. You know, you are nothing like I'd heard. I mean imagined. Oh. Really? Yeah, but in a good way. I mean, you are so much more lively. Well, I guess that's better than deadly. (SCOFFS) It's very nice to hear you say that, Gina. (SMOOTH JAZZ PLAYS) I've been meaning to ask you... how you were doing with Harry being gone and all. Oh. Uh... I'm fine. Well, you know it's, uh... What can I say, really? Well, it's just that I know how much you loved him. You must really miss him. I did? I did. Uh, I loved him. Yeah. But, to tell you the truth, he wasn't that good a kisser. All tongue. (SLURPS) Um, so how is your mom? She's good. She's doing OK. It's so hard for her. She really... She thinks about my dad. Yeah, sure. But, you know, they are making such amazing progress with that today. I mean, have you seen those little devices? I mean, just stick it in your dad's ear and he'll be as good as new. What? I mean... under the circumstances,... that would be unlikely, probably very unlikely. I mean, even more than unlikely. Not very likely at all. OK, well, maybe not as good as new, but it would certainly make it a lot easier for them to talk to each other, don't you think? No. No, I don't. Oh. Um,... would you excuse me for a minute. OK, here it is. His dad is deaf. It's chocolate. His is dead, not deaf. You're an idiot. (EASY-LISTENING MUSIC) So,... you're home. Hi. What time is it? It's 10.30. Wow. Already? Yeah, well, I guess time flies when you're having fun. Hey, this was your idea. I was perfectly happy staying at home with my chicken. Uh, I asked him to meet him, not date him. And where were you at the conference? I looked all over for you. First of all, I was not twisting any arms by not going. He warmed up to that idea real quick. Wait that was your idea? Yeah, I just asked him if he wanted to see some of Boston. And you wanted to know what he was. And? And... he was kind of different than you described him. Different how? Uh, well, he's... kind of funny... and, uh, a little out there. More physical than intellectual. Physical? He has a hot body. He what? Hey, you asked. And he wants to see me again tomorrow night. Ooh, ooh, but he does this really cute little robot thing. Wait. What? Yeah, it's kinda like it's a dance move, robotic sort of` No, not that. What about tomorrow night? Well, yeah. I mean, really, he asked you. You want me to say no? No. You have to go. Well, now I'm not so sure. I mean, I held up my end of the bargain. You know, maybe it's time that you picked things up. Ellen. Gina, you're an amazing woman. You gotta remember that. And any guy, including this one, would be lucky to have you. (SIGHS) I'll eat the chicken. No! Ellen, I said I would eat your chicken. Do you have no heart? Fine. I see you my chicken, and I raise you my hazelnut creme brulee. (QUIRKY MUSIC) OK. Deal. So where's he taking me? Ice skating?! What do you want from me? It seemed like something you would do. I don't know. If it were me, I'd have taken her to skiing then to some fancy restaurant and some secluded mountain far from the city. But it's not me; it's you. And you're... vanilla. Matt, she's afraid of water. I don't know what you know about ice, but it tends to be frozen. Yeah, uh, frozen what? Oh, that's right. Water! H2O! Come on, dude. Who's afraid of ice? Do you know anyone who has an ice phobia? That is so far from the point. And what about this toy conference? What was that about? She knows that I would never ditch work. Wow. You really are a boring guy. I mean, look, I had to spice you up a little bit. I start telling your stories and it becomes snoozeville ` for everyone. (SIGHS HEAVILY) Now, that Gina ` that is a very special girl. In fact, if you're not gonna make your move, I've been thinking ` I'd be happy to make one for you. (RADIO PLAYS IN BACKGROUND) Are you insane? This is my Gina. You don't make any moves. You don't... spice anything up. Matt, brother, just stick to the plan. If you start acting like yourself, not only will she start to wonder, but she will think that I am a complete jerk. I could be paranoid, but I think I'm being insulted here. You're not. A jerk? Paranoid. Come on, Sullivan. Do you actually think Angelica Davis is gonna risk her entire career over a man? I think they're gonna make a stock play when Toy Matters goes public. INDISTINCTLY: Can you get that? Yeah. Sullivan, can you hold on one second? Hello? Hello, Gina. It's Seth. (SCREAMS) (PHONE CLATTERS) Hello? Oh, I'm sorry. WHISPERS: It's him. Who? Seth! Mm. You gotta take it. You take it. No! Take it! Hello? Hi, Seth. Sorry. That was my friend Ellen. She dropped the phone. WHISPERS: Why are you even on the phone? We don't talk on the phone. Shh. Really? Thanks. I had a really great time too. Wow, yeah, that sounds great. OK, I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight. (PHONE BEEPS) Uh, I gotta call you back. He was just calling to thank me for today and to tell me I was exactly what he thought you'd be. Oh, were you? Well, how did he get your number? He asked for it. Gina, across the country is one thing, but did you think this whole 'no phone call' pact was gonna work when you were in the same city? (SIGHS) Of course not. It's just that was our first phone call, and I wasn't even on it. I'm sorry. But, hey, would you mind telling me some stuff that I should know? Like when were you dating a guy named Harry? Harry? I don't know. My parents had a Chihuahua named Harry, who died months ago, but that's the only Harry I know. Harry is a dog? Yeah. Why? (LIGHT-HEARTED MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) Seth! Ohh. Seth! Seth. Hey. Hey. I was calling you. You were? You were. I'm sorry. I had forgotten that you hate water ` even frozen water. Oh. Yeah. But you have your own ice skates. Uh, no. Um, I borrowed them... from a friend ` a friend who is helping me confront my fears ` fears I didn't even know I had. Well, as happy as I'd be to let the healing begin, I got something a little different in mind. OK. What have you got in mind? I'll show you. Hi! Oh. Uh,... (CHUCKLES) I was pushed. Uh... (SIGHS) You should probably finish that, huh? WOMAN: Where are these flowers from? Well, these here are very nice. They're imported from Florida. You have to water them daily, cos they're a little bit delicate, so if you take good care of them, they'll last you the season. All right. Hey. You think you can break it and not buy it? No, no. Then that'll be $12.50, lady. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (POPCORN CRUNCHES) (BOTH LAUGH) You know, it's funny. Yesterday, it was like we had nothing in common. But tonight it... it's like we've` ...it's like we've known each other our whole lives. Yeah. Right? LAUGHS: Yeah. (DRAMATIC MUSIC CONTINUES) (GASPS) (GASPS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Oh. Excu... (MUSIC CONTINUES) (SIGHS) (GRUNTS) Oh, I'm sorry. BOTH: You. I tried looking for you after the conference. Yeah, well, I left, just like I'm about to do right now. Goodnight. Wait! Hey, wait! (DOOR SHUTS) Wait! I really gotta talk to you about Toy Matters and Herschell's. Is there a merger going on? Or insider trading? No, no, not at all. OK. Well, do you think maybe we can just go get some coffee and put things in perspective? Are you OK? Yeah. It's just I just saw s... Never mind. OK, so this affair ` how long has it been going on? I'm sorry, are you waiting for somebody? Yeah. I'm waiting for a friend. A friend and, um,... an ex-friend. But I'm listening. Look, I really can't talk about it. What? What? What is it? Shh! It was good, right? Well, I liked the movie. Well, I can dance. (LAUGHS) Seriously, I can. Look at them. (SOMBRE MUSIC) He doesn't even know her. I mean, you would think after 13 years, he would know it wasn't me. I guess I can't blame him, really. But her? She was shameless. God! (SIGHS) I'm sorry. Just a tragic story, sad day, blah blah. (SIGHS) I'm Gina ` Gina Crawford ` and I'm not normally this dramatic. Gina. It's so nice to meet you. It is? No one really ever says that to a reporter. (LAUGHS) I never did get your name. Um, m-my name? You gave me your name, and of course you want my name. I... Yeah. Well, it can facilitate conversation. Right, of course. (CHUCKLES) Uh,... (DISTANT SIREN WAILS) ...Matt. That's my name. Sorry. I'm Matt. OK, Matt. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Coffee? Coffee. I'm buying. OK. (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC) So then I told her, 'No way, I mean, the crunchy are better than the puffy, hands down.' And it was kinda downhill from there. Mm. I guess a man's cheese snacks are pretty sacred. I feel the same way about chocolate. Oh, yeah, I know. The dark chocolate and almonds, right? Yeah. How did you know that? Oh, just a hunch. I have sisters. (SOFT JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS) Anyways, I should get going. I want to be there when Ellen gets home. Although, I must say, I think you might have saved her life. Really? Yeah, I mean... having coffee with you has somehow mellowed me out, making it less likely I'll actually commit homicide tonight. (BOTH LAUGH) So on behalf of Ellen, I thank you. You know, maybe you shouldn't be so hard on her. You know, sometimes people do things that don't seem to make any sense, but then on closer inspection, they do make sense, even if, at first, they didn't think so. Does that even make any sense? Do you have something against napkins? Uh, no, it's just a nervous habit. Sorry. (CHUCKLES) Ugh, my eye twitches. It's awful. So are you? Nervous? No. Are you? No. You actually... Thanks. You seem really familiar to me. (WARM MUSIC) I know. It's crazy, but it started off as this little itty-bitty white lie, and then suddenly, it's like this monster that I have to keep feeding. (SCOFFS) Has that ever happened to you? Well` No, of course not. I mean, you seem so centred. What would you do if you were me? Me? I'm not sure. Well, this is me here. See you at the conference tomorrow? Uh, well, maybe. Look, I'm gonna find you, so you might as well just make plans with me. OK. Maybe dinner and a movie? Well, not a date. Matt, please, you seem terrific. You are terrific. It's me. I know when people say, 'It's not you; it's me,' they really mean it is you, but in this case, it really is me. I mean, I'm carrying a torch for somebody that I only know on paper. How unbalanced is that? Yes, but` Yeah, OK. I'll make you a deal ` one date. You can pick the place, but I get to ask five questions for my story. Two questions. Four. Three ` final offer. Deal. Night. Night. (WARM MUSIC) I only need three anyway. (DOOR SHUTS) (EXHALES) (CAR HORN BEEPS) Matt! Wake up! This is one ugly habit, dude. I'm wasting valuable REM time. REM time?! You kissed her! So? So?! I mean, do you understand the implications? We don't do that. It was just a friendly kiss. It's how you kiss your grandpa. OK, if that's how you kiss your grandpa, then ew! I mean, who knows what Seth is thinking right now? What if he never even emails me again? And if the only reason he didn't stop it was because he was so flabbergasted, he just kind of froze? Oh, trust me, he wasn't frozen. So, yeah, I livened you up a little bit today, made you more like me. The good news is it worked. The bad news is that kiss was (WHISPERS) so not bad news. Matthew, keep up the good work. Huh? Gina, I wish you could just chill out about all this. I mean, I offered you the date, didn't I? You're right. You're totally right. I guess I just didn't think you'd get so into your role. And now I do not know if I'm supposed to be angry or jealous or panicked, because you have changed the dynamic of our entire relationship by sticking my tongue down his throat. (SIGHS) I think I need to tell the truth. No! No. I mean, um, what about the whole expectations thing? Well, obviously, his expectations aren't really that high. I meant yours. (PHONE RINGS) It's probably him now. (RINGING CONTINUES) (PHONE BEEPS) Hello? Hi, Seth. Yeah. Yeah, me too. You too what? Uh, tomorrow night? Just a sec. I have to check my calendar. Am I busy tomorrow night? Why? Because he wants to take me` I mean, you out again. No. Tell him you're busy. What? No, don't. No, don't. Oh shoot, I don't know! (CHUCKLES) I guess you're a good kisser after all. Ow. What do you want me to tell him? You want me to tell him I'm busy? No. No, I would never do that to him. (PENSIVE MUSIC) You sure this is what you want? Yeah. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (LAUGHTER) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, LAUGHTER) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) (CAMERA WINDS, INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS) (PHONE RINGS) Sully, gimme a rewrite on this, will ya? Yeah, sure. Thanks. Crawford, how's that toy story coming? I hear you've got a scoop. I have. It's going great. I hope so. We're counting on you. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (PHONE RINGS) (SIGHS) Gina Crawford. Hi. It's Matt. So, listen, how much do you know about Christmas trees? Well, I guess that depends on what you know about affairs between executives of major toy companies. Is that your first question? Not so fast. I'm saving those for later. So, what do you have in mind? I was gonna go out tonight and get my Christmas tree. I thought you might wanna come along. Listen, you only get one date. Don't you have any friends who can help you pick out a tree? My friends aren't exactly tree-trimming material. Most of them don't even know what happened on the ninth day of Christmas. That's easy ` ladies dancing. See? So does that mean you'll come? Well, you're lucky I'm a complete sucker for anything Christmas. I know. What? I know that I'm lucky. So I'll see you tonight. OK. # Nine ladies dancing,... # ...eight strippers stripping, seven Velcro G-strings, # six spinning tassels, # five... # leggy blondes! (BEATBOXES) # 12 cans of beer, three French maids, two dirty flicks # and some edible undies for me. # Merry Christmas. You do know that four comes before five, not 12, right? Yeah, but four cans of beer ` I mean, really, what's the point? Hmm. And why are we carolling anyway? Cos Gina loves Christmas so much, and we're just getting into the spirit too. You know, I'm gonna see her later on. I should probably tell her you said hi. Say hi from Matt. And have a great time. (DOOR OPENS) WOMAN: That's 49.69. MAN: There you go. Thank you. Thank you very much. All right. Come on, Charlie. Let's go. Thanks. Merry Christmas! Thanks. You too. All right, guys, let's go. Let's go. GINA: Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Here we are. How did you get to be a Christmas junkie? Well, when I was a kid, my dad used to do the holidays up really big, so after he passed away, I felt like it was kinda my responsibility to keep the traditions going ` you know, like he was celebrating with us or something. I think that's lovely. Well, there's that and... And what? Well, there's just this friend of mine ` she's kinda crazy about Christmas stuff. (CHUCKLES) So am I. Yeah, you kinda remind me of her. That's funny, because your friends remind me of Ellen. She's such a bah humbug! (CHUCKLES) (GASPS) Look at how cute these are. Perfect. (LAUGHS) Maybe some other time. So, I think it's time for my first question. Ah. You didn't recognise Seth yesterday, so I'm assuming you don't work for Toy Matters. It's Herschell's, right? Yeah, that's right ` Herschell's. I knew it. Well, one down and two to go. Gina, listen, I think there's something that we` (GASPS) It's Seth! Why does this keep happening? Because it's a sign. It's a sign that I need to come clean right now. Wait. Wait. No! No, no, no! No, no! Why?! Have you even thought about what you're gonna say to him? No. Listen, we've` you` you've both been waiting for this for a long time. It should be perfect. It's not something you juts blurt out at some Christmas tree sale. That is just not how I pictured it. How you pictured it? You've pictured it? (STAMMERS) No. Just now, I mean. Listen, I mean, the moment would be ruined, don't you think? Hey! BOTH: Shh! You gonna buy that tree? Or you just gonna stand there and bend the branches? Yes, we'll take it. Just give us a minute, OK? Listen, why don't you go get that surly tree lady back here and we'll get this tree and we'll tie it to the top of the cab or whatever and then we'll just go get some coffee and we'll get outta here? We'll figure it all out. OK? I promise. OK? (SIGHS) OK. OK. (BELLS JINGLE) Matt! (GRUNTS) (CHUCKLES) Dude, what are you doing here? Me? I'm here buying this tree. What the hell are you doing here? You're here buying a 10-foot Christmas tree and you're asking what the hell I'm doing here? You know that ain't gonna fit in the overhead bin, bro. Matt, you need to get out of here right now. You know, dude, you need to relax. You know why? Cos I remembered that you said Gina loves this Christmassy stuff. Right? Right, yes. Well, I thought I'd get her a gift. Great! Yeah? That's perfect. You like 'em? I love them. If you care about our friendship at all, you're gonna stop talking to me right now and you're just gonna walk away. If I care about our friend... I care. (SIGHS) That's not` I guess I don't say it enough how much I appreciate... you. Stop. I just` It's just been a long time coming that we should have this` Please. You do a lot for me. Matt. And guys don't really talk about this stuff,... Matt, please, not now. ...but I'm fine doing it and telling you. What? No. I love you,... What? ...bro. Not now. Please, not now. Hey, I'm not,... uh... You know? Please stop. But... No. No. ...come here, bro. Matt, no, no. No. No. No. Oh. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) WHISPERS: 'Tis the season. Shh. 'Tis the season. GRUNTS: This is what the doctor ordered. (GRUNTS, SLAPS BACK) (SIGHS) Yeah. I think we needed that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. I'm gonna buy these. Great. Yeah. Good talk. Great talk. So we good? Perfect. OK. See you at the hotel. Hey, how could you? That was so weird, wasn't it? I mean, he just came up out of nowhere and, uh, well, he... What did he say? He just said, uh,... 'God bless us, everyone.' Weird, right? (BELLS JINGLE) OK, but he didn't say anything about me, right? You didn't tell him about me? Right. I was talking about balsams, and Douglas firs and, you know, the moisture level to maximise tree life. But you? No, no, no. You did not come up at all. OK. OK, good. (SIGHS) Thank you. No problem. Do you think we can get out of here now? Yeah. Tree lady! (GENTLE MUSIC) (SIGHS) You've hardly said a word since we left the tree lot. Are you OK? Question two ` do you think Bill Howard and Angelica Davis talk about each others companies? Or do you think that they just focus on what the other wants to reveal? Maybe because they know that some things are just... better left to the imagination. Look, I'm not sure that I follow. You know, in The Wizard of Oz when Dorothy, the Scarecrow and everybody else, they have this image of the Wizard? Wise and all-knowing and he could solve all their problems. And then they meet him, and it's never the same again. Because they realise that, he's just a regular guy like everybody else. Yeah, but he didn't disappoint her. Well, I know, but... Are we really talking about Howard and Davis here? Of course. What else would we be talking about? That I think that they're about as honest as two people can be about the things that really matter. And I think that they wouldn't trade their love for some business deal or profit. Number three? OK. Um... I have some Christmas shopping to do, and I was going to go to the mall tomorrow. Would you like to come along? That's your question? (WARM MUSIC) I guess so. I'd love to. Great. (CHUCKLES) Why'd you let me off the hook with those last two? Because I got everything I needed. Don't worry. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) That was the perfect end to the perfect night. Wait. Wait. I've got one more thing that's gonna make it really perfect. Oh. Close your eyes. Seth! Come on. Close your eyes. (BELLS JINGLE) Ta-da! You can open your eyes now. What is it? Reindeer antlers. (BELLS JINGLE) Wow. Yeah, they really are. I knew you'd like 'em, seeing as they're so Christmassy and all. (BELLS JINGLE) Wow. Yeah. Reindeer antlers. I only got 'em because I know how much you love Christmas, and I guess I just wanted you to know that I knew that. I... I mean, that I care. I love them. (BELLS JINGLE) (CHUCKLES) And I love Christmas. You hate Christmas! I know, but you love it! Oh, right. So then technically, these belong to me. (LAUGHS) But they were a gift for me. And until you are you again and I a me, these babies are mine. I saw him. What? He was probably buying you those antlers. What did you say? Well, nothing. He didn't even see me. I mean, Matt didn't think it was a really good idea if I went and talked to him. I see. And this Matt, am I to assume you finally named the little voice you hear in your head? No, the voice inside my head is a woman. Matt is just a friend. Mm-hm. And if he is just a friend, why are you twitching? (STAMMERS) Never mind that. When are you seeing him again? Tonight. I was going to tell you. (SIGHS) Well, do you think he suspects anything? Only that you're a better kisser than he might've assumed. What did I tell you about that?! I know. I know. But after that one time... After that one time what? Well, there have been... other times. (SIGHS) Kill me now. Well, once you do it, you can't just take it back. I mean, he would have thought there was something wrong if after the first time there hadn't been a second or third... or a fourth. Fourth? Oh, Ellen. OK. OK. I can handle this. I'm not gonna tell him. What? Well, he is having such a good time with you. And he thinks he's having it with me and he'll be... ...leaving in a few days, so she will never know the difference. But she will think that she... ...chickened out. I hid in a tree, OK, Ellen? I took that as a sign... ...that I should tell her, but I can't, because then I'll lose my job and that... ...will ruin our relationship. I mean, he would never forgive me for pulling a stunt like that. I'm not gonna tell him. Are you sure that's what you want? I want those. (BELLS JINGLE) Thanks. So I was having lunch with my friends when Meredith Berry came and sat down. At the time, we called her Merry, and she was a babe. She'd have these hair ribbons that matched her knee socks exactly. Do you mean to tell me you had a friend named Merry Berry? You don't understand. She was perfect. And so she came and sat at the table when my friend Tony was finishing one of his legendary dirty jokes, and so I laughed, and I had some food in my mouth. You know what happens when you laugh and you have food in your mouth and your mouth's closed? Yeah, it tends to shoot out your nose. Yeah. What were they serving? Spaghetti. (BOTH LAUGH) SANTA: Merry Christmas. Hey, you want to get a picture with Santa? Back in a few minutes. Well, it looks like they're closing. No. (CHUCKLES) It's nice to meet you. Merry Christmas. I have a friend over here who wants a picture. Sure. She just wants one. OK. Thank you so much. Thank you. Gina, quick. (CLEARS THROAT) I'm having a wonderful time. Me too. Ho, ho, ho. Come here, little girl. Thanks, Santa. That's it. Come on. Sit on Santa's lap. Tell me what you want for Christmas. Look at the camera. Perfect. ('JINGLE BELLS') (PANTING, KISSING) # Dashing through the snow in a one-horse open sleigh, # O'er the fields we go... Be good, be good, be good. (MOANS) Oh yeah, I am. (KNOCK AT DOOR) # What fun it is to laugh and sing a sleighing song tonight. # Hey. Gina! What the hell is that? It's like Christmas threw up in there. Yeah. It was a gift from Seth. You know, because I love Christmas so much. Anyway, can we talk about this some other time? Cos I've got something on the table. Stove. (CHUCKLES) Anyway, thanks for coming by. Wait, no. Actually, I really need to talk to you about something. Hi. I'm Seth. Oh my God! She's twitching. Seth, this is... Ellen. My neighbour Ellen. Hi, Ellen. Ellen is just in shock, like I think we all are, by this fabulous display of Christmas cheer. It was me. Gina? Can I talk with you downstairs for a second? Yeah. Could you just excuse us? I'll be right back. This is fabulous. Matt? What are you doing here? Oh, so this is Matt. Matt, this is my friend Gina. Ellen! This is my friend Ellen. Hi. Hi. Nice to meet you, finally. So, what brings you by? Oh, scarf ` I forgot to give it to you yesterday. You left it in the cab the other day. Oh, thanks. So... Listen, I was kinda hoping that we could talk. Oh, you know what? It's kinda late. Do you think we could talk tomorrow? Yeah, I guess it can wait another night. OK. OK. Well, see ya. Nice meeting you. Bye. (SCOFFS) Just a friend, huh? Yeah, he's just a friend. Yeah, right (!) Here I am, feeling guilty about Seth, and you're out all night making a new pen pal. Oh, you're feeling guilty? So, what, now you want me to feel guilty? That's a wonderful position, considering you missed a button. Yeah, well, you seem to be forgetting this whole thing was your idea. You can't be mad at me just because we hit it off. You were my best friend. How am I supposed to feel? You know what, Gina, I don't know how you feel. Nobody does. And call me crazy, but you seem to be spending an awful lot of time with this Matt guy. If he's just a friend... Why are you twitching? That's ridiculous. Yeah. You like this Matt guy, and you didn't expect to, did you? So, what, you think that when this conference is over, Seth is going to go home and think that he's met you? And that way you don't have to things with Matt, who you're all of a sudden getting all twitchy over, and Seth is going to go back to writing you for the next 13 years about what an amazing time he's had with you? Only he's been having it with me! And to be honest with you, you're falling in love with him. What? No, I'm not. Yes, I am. Oh no. Ellen, no. Look, I realise that I have a decision to make, but you're making it like I'm stringing both Seth and Matt along, and that's not true. If you're afraid of losing Seth, then you have a decision to make. Because you're about to walk out of the best relationship you've never had, and mine too. (SIGHS) (POIGNANT MUSIC) (ALL CHATTER) WOMAN: Bye. (PHONE RINGS) Gina Crawford. Hey, Gina. Oh, Sullivan. I thought you were at the printer's. Yeah. I am. But I got something for your toy story. The execs at Herschells ` they've heard about leaks. Guess who? Boston Daily. Oh no. All they know is it came from a guy named Matt, so they're firing every Matt in the place until someone confesses. Firing? Yup. Matts are out the door. I can't wait to see what you've got, kid, but hurry up. The presses are rolling. OK. Thanks, Sullivan. See today's Boston Daily? The article about the conference? Did you see it? Listen, Mr Howard, about that article ` there was nothing` It was nice. What? Actually, very nice. It's about the only time I've seen executives credited with being human. It's a little too sentimental for my taste ` toys for Christmas and all that ` but I'm sure they have readers who eat that holiday crap right up. She didn't do it. Do what? She was protecting me. She was protecting me ` as Matt, not Seth! Seth, what the hell are you talking about? I just got the best Christmas present ever. Merry Christmas, Bill. Merry Christmas, Seth. Crawford, get in here! Sir? So, what happened? Oh, with the Christmas feature? That's right. I read it. And you know what? That's exactly what I thought it would be. Is that a good thing? No, it's not a good thing, Crawford. But it's not bad thing. You're a good writer, but what about that hot story that Sullivan told me about? A scandal that was going to lure readers from the supermarket tabloids? Right, I know. I just` There wasn't a story. There was nothing I felt I could verify. Nothing you felt you could verify? Right. Crawford, I want you to take a break from obits. Oh. Let's see what you can do with classifieds. Classifieds? So I'm being demoted? Merry Christmas. (LIGHT JAZZY MUSIC) (GRUNTING, KISSING) PANTS: Oh yeah. (GRUNTS SOFTLY) What? I've got an idea. Oh, I had a couple too. Just a second. A second. You hungry? Uh-huh. There's nothing here. We have to go somewhere else. Now? It will be worth it. I'm trusting you. (MOANS) You sure she's not coming home? She's not going to be back for hours. What is it with you and the kitchen? I just want to grab a few things. No more travel time, baby. We're staying right here. No, this is Gina` Ellen's apartment! She's not coming home for hours. Oh! (LIGHT JAZZY MUSIC) Do you like it? Oh, it's incredible. Gina, I read the article. You didn't mention the love affair. Why not? I just didn't want to ruin anyone's Christmas. You know I'm a sucker for it. That's not the real reason. You didn't break the story because you were protecting me. And you were protecting me because you feel it too. (SCOFFS LIGHTLY) Feel what? I don't know what you're talking about. You know exactly what I'm talking about. And you feel it right now. Could we talk about something else? No. Not until you answer one question for me. Do you love him? What? Seth. Do you love him? I mean, how can I not, right? I don't know, it's crazy. I mean, can I be in love with someone that I haven't even spent a minute with? Can I? And then of course, there's you. And I guess I feel like I have to choose between him and you. See, that's not going to happen. In fact, it can't happen. (CAROLLERS SING 'DECK THE HALLS') You can say whatever you want, but... the truth of the matter is that I have to pick one or the other. And I might just be jumping to conclusions here, but as much as I have loved spending time with you, I love Seth just a little more. (CAROLLERS CONTINUE SINGING 'DECK THE HALLS) I mean, he's been in my life for so long now, I just can't imagine him not being there. But he is there. I mean... I'm` I'm here. # Troll the ancient yuletide carol. Excuse me, could you guys`? # Fa-la-la-la-la, la, la, la, la. Hello. # Fast away the old year passes. # Fa-la-la-la-la,... Stop it! # ...la, la, la` # I'm sorry, I'm just in the middle of this really important conversation right now, and you guys are not helping. Don't get me wrong - I totally appreciate everything you guys are doing, with the 'fa-la-la-la-la' and spreading the cheer. I just need you to go and please spread it somewhere else. What's with the`? OK, thank you. Merry Christmas. I didn't` MUTTERS: Spreading cheer. OK, with that look? OK, Matt, I don't want to hurt you. but I gotta put some honesty back into my life. Gina, that's exactly what I'm trying` Why don't we just go upstairs and make some hot chocolate, OK? It's cold out here. OK. (MOANS SOFTLY) Wow. Nice place. (SCREAMS) (SQUEALS) (THUD!) Oh my God! This is my apartment! Gina, this is not what it looks like. Oh, it isn't (?) OK, it's a little bit what it looks like. We would making` Hot chocolate! Gina, listen, you need to know the truth. Gina! Seth! QUIETLY: Gina! That's not Gina. It's not? Wait, you're not Seth? No. I'm Seth. Gina, wait! I'm Matt. It's nice to meet you. Oh God. Wait. Whoa. If his Ellen is Gina, my Gina is Ellen, right? I'm good with this. Are you good with this? I think I might be. I think I might like being myself with yourself. Let's make more hot chocolate. (SMASH!) Gina! You've got things wrong. Yeah, you're right I've got things wrong! I always get things wrong! How could I be so stupid? I mean, why wouldn't I have just come clean? Please. OK, just Listen to me for one minute. Please. Why?! So you can tell me this isn't my fault? That anybody would have done the same thing if they were in my situation? I mean, why would you even suggest that? What crap! She hates Christmas. And he got her the antlers. Gina, I can explain if you just give me one` I don't know why I didn't just come clean. Why didn't I just tell him? I mean, who does that? What kind of spineless jellyfish does this? Me. What? We're both spineless jellyfish. It's me, Gina. I'm Seth. There have been so many times this week that I've tried to tell you, but` But what? Well, there was this whole article thing, and I was so confused about what I could say and what I should do. And the idea that you might not feel the same way about me when you found out the truth ` it scared the crap out of me. You're Seth? Then this whole relationship has been based on a lie. Gina, no. No, I'm sorry, I can't do this. Gina, don't walk away! I'm the one that you want! I'm the one that knows everything about you. How you cried when you won the 7th grade science fair. How you never take the tags off the mattress because you really do believe that you might get arrested. You didn't break that story because you were trying to protect me. You didn't break that story because I'm the one you want. It has to be me. It has to be me, because, for me, it has to be you. (GENTLE MUSIC) You're right. I am? About which part? It does have to be you. But you still shouldn't have lied to me. Well, it's not exactly you up there dipped in chocolate either. I might have had some of the same concerns. (CHUCKLES) I can't believe it's really you. Both of you in one. You are everything I imagined. You're exactly what I pictured. (RISING MUSIC) Look. (RISING MUSIC CONTINUES) Should've known you'd be here. I was just waiting for you. (MEDIUM-TEMPO MUSIC) (MUSIC QUIETENS) (LIVELY JAZZ MUSIC) # We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas. # We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. # Good tidings we bring # to you and your kin. # We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. # We wish you a merry Christmas. We wish you a merry Christmas. # We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. # Good tidings we bring # to you and your kin. # We wish you a merry Christmas and a happy new year. # Captions by Able Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.