Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2015 Ugh! Ugh! Agh! (GROANS) (CRACK!) (ALL CHEER) "Cody Banks wins again for dorm seven!" (ALL CHANT) Cody! Cody! Cody! Cody! Sorry about the boot kick, Frank. No problem! Sorry? Sorry? You don't apologise to your enemy! But Frank's my friend. Friends, enemies, everybody, they're all the same. Remember, trust equals death! Now, go write that on your lunch box, Banks! Sir, you dropped your ball. Remember, kid, trust nobody, including me. Bomb disposal time starts... now. "Prepare for satellite launch. Prepare for satellite launch!" Hey, Cody! Can I get you anything? Covert op? Recall mission? Juice box? No, I'm fine. Alright, well, we're right here if you need anything. You know us - USA first, Cody Banks Second, then Mom and apple pie tied for third. Thanks. "Commence satellite launch!" T minus ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four - code 42! Abort! Abort! "Attention all campers, code 42!" "Code 42!" Code 42! This is it! Go time, go time! Guys, code 42 is parents' day. Oh. Bring 'em on! "This is not a drill! This is not a drill!" Initiate concealment sequence! Quick! Hurry! (SIREN BLARES) Geronimo! Park over there. I was gonna park here! Is this alright? You're too close to the lake! OK, you drive next time! I'm hungry! (SIGHS) So, where do you think he is? I don't know. If he drowned in the lake, can I have his computer? Alex! What? Be nice, he's your brother. He's a whack job! Isn't there some sort of exchange programme? We could trade him in for a hot chick or a pack of gum! Stop calling your brother a whack job! He thinks he's in the CIA! Yeah, right, he thinks he's in the CIA! I think somebody needs a little more attention! So, we go in here, in the office? Is this it? I don't know, I've never been before. I can't see him anywhere! I don't know, we gotta be able - Hey! Hey, honey! Oh! Ah! Hey, buddy, how are you doing? Dad! Nice to see you! Good news about Wall Street, huh? I've been following the stock market and things are looking rosy on the NASDAQ. What are you talking about? Stock market? Are you 16 or 60? Alex, little rascal! Hey, is that my VideoNow? Oh, how did that get in my pocket? You can have it. Really? Yeah. We have a few hours before the bonfire starts so I'll go get you guys a beverage. A beverage? (CHATTER) (BANGS TIN) (ALL STOP TALKING) Thank you, everybody, and welcome to Kamp Woody. Now, I am the commander in chief here, I mean, head counsellor. The name is Victor Diaz. (ALL) Captain Squishy, Captain Squishy! AKA Captain Squishy, Captain Squishy! Captain Squishy, that's funny! Parents, you should know that your kids are having a great summer here. From the very first week of debriefing, I mean, getting to know, getting to know, getting to know each other,... ..right through to learning about America and our so-called friends, who smile at your face while stabbing you in the back! I just wanted him to learn how to swim - Canoeing. We do a lot of canoeing here. Now, I'm pretty sure that you're anxious to get on the road, so why don't we follow camp protocol and end parents' day by singing the camp song? One, two, three! (ALL) # Oh, lovely Kamp Woody # With your lovely camp fire, woof, woof, woof, woof Oh! That's nice. # Oh, lovely Kamp Woody, # It's not what we thought # Not what we thought # We love you, Kamp Woody # We're not what we seem, # Uh-huh, uh-huh # We're all undercover # And oh, what a team # Kamp Woody # Oh, we miss you, pumpkin! Do you miss us? Of course I miss you guys! So, drive carefully. Cody, what's this? Just, you know, nail clippers. Honey, I don't feel right about you having a weapon! A weapon? It looks so sharp! Let me have it. Dad! Come on, just give it to her. We got a three-hour drive. Come on! Come on. Oh, I love you, sweetie! Take it easy, buddy! See ya, Alex! Whatever. Bye, Cody! Bye, honey! "I just love the smell of summer camp in the evening!" "We're going in! Over." Ryan, get up! Come on! Get up! What is it? "Initiating troop drop. Good luck, guys!" "Preparing for landing. Stand by! Over." Sir, what's going on? What do you think? It's a drill! I'm putting you in charge. Run the op! Banks, run the operation! What's the enemy's objective? Let's say I'm the target, what do you do? What do you do? Protect the target at all costs! Get me outta here! It's a simulation! Cool! What's the mission? Protect Captain Squishy! Hold these guys off till I get him out of here! Hey, Bender, are you scared? No! Me, neither! Doing good, Banks! (RADIO) "Any sign of Diaz, Oscar three-zero?" Heiyaa! Ugh! Ugh! Ow! Yes! Come on! The enemy's been contained, sir. You're outta here! What about the other chopper? I'll take care of it! Good work, Banks! Looks like Diaz has taken Tiger 57, sir! "Stop Diaz getting away!" Yes, sir! "Diaz is getting away! Repeat, Diaz is getting away!" "I've got a problem here, sir!" Way to go, Cody! Ryan, get out of there! (SCREAMS) Ugh! Ugh! Thanks, Cody! OK! "Target away! Repeat, target away! Over." So, Banks, you let him get away. Diaz? By now he's a long way from here. By the look of things I'd say I just beat your little getaway simulation. Getaway simulation. That was no simulation. That was the real deal! But this was - Follow me. Wait, I don't understand! Follow me! It was just... This is crazy. What does Diaz have to do with this? The CIA maintains a secret storage facility underneath the camp. That's impossible! Kids have been snooping round here for years. Somebody would have found the entrance by now! That's why we put it where no-one wants to spend too much time. Whoa! I really am sorry for letting Diaz get away. What is all this stuff? Stolen technology, weapons, obsolete inventions. Wait, are you telling me the CIA was behind Beanie Babies? Be careful! These are no ordinary Beanie Babies. Watch. (CLAPS) Hmm, maybe they are ordinary Beanie Babies. Come on. So, what does Diaz have to do with all this stuff? Run programme. 10 months ago, Diaz was in charge of a CIA mind-control programme designed to aid human learning. But Diaz was interested in using it to control minds in a bad way and we decided to abort the programme. Diaz took it pretty bad and it looks like he just struck back at the organisation. Now freeze image. Diaz just stole the mind-control software. The global implications of this step are enormous and our government wants these disks back in safe hands. You gotta let me bring him back! I knew you wouldn't let me down. You better leave by 0600. What happened to you? I don't wanna talk about it. Anyway, your cover will involve you attending a summer music academy. More school? Just once I'd like a mission that doesn't involve homework! Wait, did you say music? It's a good thing you play the clarinet. Yeah. Wait, I don't! Your father says you were in a school band for three years! I faked it to meet girls! You joined a marching band to meet girls? Yeah. You faked it for three years, you can do it for two weeks! You'll be part of an international youth orchestra. Orchestra? Where? # London # Destination London # London # Destination London # Secret agent on a deadly mission # The girls are in town, he doesn't wanna miss 'em # London, London, the top-secret guy # Lurking undercover, he'll get the job done # London... What the heck are you doing? It's called the double bluff! No way somebody's gonna think a kid like you works for the CIA! Sh! Sh! You're 14! I'm 16! Well, act your age and loosen up a bit, man! Who are you? Derek Bowman. I'm your handler. OK, double cheeseburger, hold the pickle, easy on the mustard, no mayo, ayo, ayo. Are you kidding? Just say the code! Chicken sandwich with everything, a-ling, a-ling, a-ling. Thank you. But, er, I don't need a handler. Hey, I don't need a white Mini-Me but here we are! Cody Banks! Voila! Alright, here we go! State-of-the-art field unit, designed it myself. Gucci interior, plasma flat screen,... ..DVD, surround sound, GPS, wireless Ethernet. Check it out. And riding shotgun, my right-hand man, Kumar. Alright, Mr Banks? He is a bit young, isn't he, sir? And to top it off, whoo! I got the baddest system in all of London! Bah! (LOUD HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHS) Loud, ain't it? Turn it down! Huh? Turn it down! Oh! It's half past two! (MUSIC STOPS) What? What? You're risking blowing your cover and putting all your men in danger! Na, na, na, na, na! You know what your problem is, Banks? You're too darn old, man! Act like a kid! That's why they recruited you. And besides, it's more fun, anyway! (MUSIC PLAYS) (LAUGHS) Whoo! Look over there! There's the Houses of Parliament and that's Big Ben. (CAR HORN BLARES) You don't have anyone checking up on you? (LAUGHS) No! So you just roam around London as completely free agents? That's right. Sounds to me like you've been dropped off the map. Alright, look, man, I screwed up on another mission and they sent me to this little backwater to teach me a lesson. What you calling a little backwater? Stick with me, Bowman, I might be able to get you back home. Check it out. "Customers are reminded no food is allowed..." "G7 World Leader Summit to be held at Buckingham Palace"? The next page! "Lord Duncan Kenworth to expand Research Programme." File the kid up, Kumar. Your entry target is Lord Duncan Kenworth, brilliant scientist and greedy as a rat. You think Diaz and Kenworth are working together? One of the only scientists able to make the mind-control software work, Lord Kenworth. I'll bet that Diaz is already in London. It's no coincidence he's here the same week as all these world leaders. You put these two zip-a-dee-doo-dahs together, and we have a nightmare waiting to happen! Mind control is a reality and God help us all! Lady Kenworth runs the summer music programme at Westminster Academy. You'll stay with 11 other international musical geniuses at their posh estate. Musical geniuses? I think I'm gonna be sick! I don't mean to throw a wrench into things here, but we may have a problem. Hey, your problem is our problem, man. What's up? I don't really play the clarinet. (CLOCK STRIKES) But that's not a big deal, right? (LAUGHS) Man, those musical geeks, they're gonna eat you alive! No pressure. What are we doing here? I want you to meet somebody. Follow me. (SHOUTING/SCREAMING) Don't be scared, Cody! Meet you in the back, Kumar. OK, guv. Are you sure this thing can take your weight, Bowman? (CHILDREN SCREAM) (LAUGHS SINISTERLY) (CHILDREN SCREAM) This place is like Disney World except for serial killers! Hey, check it out. Jack The Ripper? Please! Freddy Krueger, now, that's what I call a killer! We're going in there. Oh! (CHILDREN SCREAM) Are we on a mission here or a vacation? Hey, look here, all work and no play makes Jack a very dull boy. My name's Cody, not Jack. Oh, cool! Alright. (CRASH!) I, I - Oh, no, it's perfectly alright, it was broken already! (LAUGHS) Hmm, well, not quite to that extent. Cody Banks, Neville Trubshaw. How are you doing? He works here. Actually, it's just a front. He's one of us. Hey, Nev, you got a goody bag for my man here? Well, let me see. I think I have a few items that could prove useful. (SQUAWKS) Mentos? Yes. A minty-based breath snack candy which doubles as small explosive device. Just lick, stick,... ..it'll do the trick! (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) Unfortunately, if you accidentally eat one,... ..you'll be sipping your dinner through a straw at the very least! (LAUGHS) Pay attention, Banks! What's that? It's a standard issue travel bag? Or is it? Whoa, cool! Recognise this? We've turned your retainer into a personal listening device with acute directional capabilities. (NECK CRACKS) Agh! Now, you manipulate the range, the volume and intensity using your tongue. "(FREQUENCY NOISE)" Raaaargh! Agh! Good, good, seems to be working, seems to be working. Well, I never! It's a normal ballpoint pen! Except I've embedded a high-tension micro cable within its body. So, simply pop the highly recognisable designer logo, aim and... Fire! Exactly. No, no, no, I mean fire! Oh! (LAUGHS) Pretty colours! Kumar! Pretty colours! (LAUGHS) Right, clarinet. I already have a clarinet. This is your new clarinet, then, isn't it? Hey, Cody, Kumar's gonna take you to the Kenworth estate, OK? So, I guess this is goodbye. (GARGLES) A little hot, still. It's OK, don't worry. You're not gonna be able to get rid of me that easy. I'll be around. Agent Banks,... ..don't forget the yo-yo! (NECK CRACKS) Oh! How come I get a retainer and a clarinet and James Bond gets an Aston Martin? All in good time, double-0 Junior! (CAR HORN BLARES) Ah! Carry on, my little doves! Hey, Cody, don't forget your clarinet! Good luck, mate. Thanks. Whoa! Aha! Our American protege has finally arrived! Cody Banks, I presume. Welcome to England. Trival! Hurry up, Trival, we've got company! I would have picked you up myself but I forgot. I took some cold medicine an hour ago and I'm completely pickled! May I take your bags, young sir? Oh, oh, sure. Thank you, sir. No, Trival, this way! Oh, of course, ma'am, how silly of me! Inside the house, inside! I'm sure you're just dying to meet the rest of the students. Dying! Inside the house, inside! Darling, meet our new arrival. Charmed, I'm sure. This is my husband, Duncan. Cody, clarinet. You don't look like a clarinet! (LAUGHS) See you later. Marvellous! Alright, everyone, let me introduce you to your fellow virtuoso, all the way from the United States of America, Cody Banks. (ALL) Hello, hi. I'm sure you've got a lot to chat about, so I'll leave you to mingle. Don't be shy! Emily Summers, flute. What do you play? Basketball, a little baseball. (ALL LAUGH) Yes, but what instrument do you play? Oh, oh, the clarinet. You are clarinet, I am bassoon! We are woodwind buddies! Clarinet, good. Lots of money in the clarinet. Johann Berkhamp, double bass. Peace. Alright, er, don't mind me, you can carry on with your rehearsal. Would you like a Mentos? No. I mean... No! Ugh! Fire in the hole! (COW MOOS / BIRDS TWEET) Just pretend he isn't here! (ALL LAUGH) Ugh! (GONG SOUNDS / DOG BARKS) (COUGHS) Hey, woodwind buddy, come sit next to me! Hey. Britney Spears, she's the bomb, is she not? I guess. So, Cody, tell us when your musical talents were first discovered. Pretty recently, actually. Children, I have some wonderful news for you. The international summit on children's rights ends on Saturday at Buckingham Palace. And guess what orchestra will play for Her Majesty? Our orchestra! Exactly! (ALL GASP) Did you hear, darling? We're playing at the palace! How marvellous! What's for dinner? I went to the trouble of hiring a virtuoso chef to cook for our musical creme de la creme! (HUMS) Voila! (CRASH!) Sorry. Er, now, where were we? Cody was about to tell us about his fear of mint candy! (ALL LAUGH) No, I wasn't! There you go. This food looks absolutely revolting! What's wrong with it? What's wrong with it? What the blue blazes is it? It's catfish and grits, the way my momma makes it and over there we got some cornbread. Mmm, it's good! I say, do I detect another American accent? Yes, you do, ma'am. I just recently graduated from the pastry programme at Compton Community College. What are you doing? In America, if a dish is particularly delicious, we like to say that it's straight out of Compton. Oh! (HUMS) (PHONE RINGS) It's mine! Hello. "Hello?" I've decided to bring our meeting forward. What do you mean? You're where? Well, how did you... Don't touch anything, I'm coming! Excuse me. What's for pudding? What's for what? Well, pudding! I think he means dessert. Chocolate... ..surprise! I need to get a clean knife. Excuse me. Chocolate surprise? How the heck am I gonna do this? Chocolate surprise! Derek, what are you doing? And what's chocolate surprise? Oh! I need more... chocolate. Derek - Aha! My personal supply! Derek! I think Diaz could be here. What? I need you to cover for me. OK, OK, er,... ..rule numero uno,... ..be careful. Ooh, this is gonna be good! Mmm, this looks good! "(FREQUENCY NOISE)" "(COW MOOS)" "(CAT MEOWS)" Ladies and gentlemen, chocolate surprise. Ooh, look at that, that's colourful! Now, what's in that, exactly? Lovely jubbly! Delicious! Wunderbar! This really is straight out of Compton! (ALL APPLAUD) Thank you. Where did Cody disappear to? Oh, he said he had to go rehearse. Oh, such dedication! (CLARINET MUSIC PLAYS) (ALL GASP) I thought I told you not to come here! It's too risky! Doctor,... ..20 years in the CIA, nobody gets to see me unless I wanna be seen. "Are you out of your mind? It's very dangerous!" Alright, you're here. Now, what do you want? What do I want? I wanna know what's going on. Ugh! I wanna know why I haven't heard a peep out of you since I sent you the first prototype. Please, that's over 3,000 years old! You couldn't afford a new one? Look, let me put this in terms you'll understand. "Your software is worthless without me." Until you give me the second disk, I can go no further with my research. Doctor, let me put it in terms you can understand. I want proof that it works, now! Oh, Victor, such fire! "Your impatience will be your undoing one of these days." Is that a threat? Threat? Good grief, no! "Now, would you care for a little drinkie-winkie, Victor?" Oh! (WHISTLES) It's... Thirsty dog! (PLAYS PIANO) That's amazing! Wow! It works! It works? Will it work on humans? Very tricky. The human brain, present company excepted, is more sophisticated. If you want the American president following orders like that performing dog, you'll hand over the other disk. Take it. But remember, Doctor, if you ever cross me,... (SMASH!) ..I'll break a lot more than that vase. Carry on, Trival! Madam. Ba, ba, ba, ba,... Cody! (CLARINET MUSIC PLAYS / STOPS) Cody? Hi! May I just say, Cody Banks, your dedication has been noted. Bravo! Thank you. As a former operatic protege myself, I am fully aware of what it takes to make it to the top. Really? I was a soprano, don't you know? # Doh, ray, mi, fah, soh, lah, te,... # ..doo-oo-oooo-ooo... "(FREQUENCY NOISE)" Agh! # ..ooooooh! # Yes, I know I'm a little rusty. Anyway, carry on. (SQUEAKS) Oh, you know what? I need a new reed! Adorable! (SINGS) (SNORING) Derek, Derek, wake up! I'm up, I'm up, I'm up! Hey! Man, I've been waiting up half the night for you, where you been? It's hard to get around without being seen. Listen, Diaz was here! Is that a blankie? What? You sleep with a blankie? It's not a blankie, it's a handkerchief! Never mind. I saw Diaz! What? We were right, Kenworth's involved. The mind-control thing is definitely a thing. It works? How do you know? His dog was playing the piano! Was he any good? "(DOG PLAYS JAZZ)" It's not bad for a dog, man! I'm not gonna rush out and buy the CD, but - Seriously! Alright, look, I'll get that info back to headquarters. And you get some shuteye! You got a rehearsal tomorrow! I can't wait! Hey, Cody, how's the room you're staying in? About the same. Oh? Alright. Blankie, yeah, right! (DOG BARKS) (SNORES) You snore. Justin Timberlake snores. I do not snore! Oh, yes, you do! "(SNORING)" You're a very strange girl. Oh, the cook said you'd probably try to skip class, so I was to make sure you caught the bus and didn't forget your clarinet. Thanks, woodwind buddy. Do you mind? Hey. Hi. Tally ho! (LAUGHS) (ENGINE BACKFIRES) "This lobster has to be put in the lukewarm water." "It sort of lulls it to sleep." # La, la, la, la, la, la - Ow! "Then, of course, it will die..." "Yeah?" Ah, hello, sir. Diaz has definitely made contact. Are you sure? Absolutely. There's something big going on in that lab. Hold on! (FIRE ALARM SOUNDS) Bowman? "Bowman! Bowman!" Hello, sir! What the heck's going on over there? Nothing, it's just, er, bugs, these big castles got big bugs, sir! Ow! (ALARM CONTINUES) Look, Bowman, Cody has got to get into that lab. "Way ahead of you, sir! No problem whatsoever." Bowman, what's that alarm? (ALARM STOPS) What alarm, sir? I don't hear nothing! You must be talking on that cheap cellphone plan. Sir, if this goes well, do you think maybe I could get back in the game? Sir? Sir! (FIRE ALARM SOUNDS) Oh, man! (BELL RINGS) (PHONE RINGS) Banks. "It's me." "I spoke to the director." Is there a reason you risked blowing my cover? Look here, inch-high private eye, relax, man! I found that Kenworth's running a mind-control test at the lab. When are we going in? We have to be in and out during lunch. Find a way to get outta there. One o'clock, don't be late. See you at one. What's happening at one? Eye doctor. Oh, really? What do you think about Duncan Kenworth? Weird, huh? He's a bit odd. Ever notice anything weird around the house, people coming and going at strange hours, the dog mowing the lawn? No, can't say I have! Who's your favourite composer? My favourite? I mean, who's been your most influential? Well, er,... ..Heinz. Yeah, Heinz. He's definitely been my biggest influence. Heinz? I don't think I've heard of him. What's his most notable work? Um,... ..it's so hard, he's written, like, 57 varieties. Varieties? I mean, symphonies. 57 symphonies? That is an incredible output! He was especially busy during his red period. Hey, there, doggie! Hey, hey, sit! Hey, sit! Sit! Tell me, where does your evil daddy keep the mind device? Where does the evil doctor keep it, huh? Lay down? Oh, I can do that! Come play with me! Come on, tell me! Tell me - Ow! OK! Don't pee on me! What the devil are you doing? Oh, nothing! Just having a little R and R with the dog. I love the animals. I grew up with them. Fascinating. Now, leave my dog alone and get back to work. OK. And take your bum of my Bentley! Oh, sure, yes, sir! (COUGHS) Jackass! What did you say? Oh, I just said I have asthma. You know, there's a lot of pollen in this London air. (COUGHS) Jackass! You, boy, come here! Aren't you one of Lady Kenworth's foreign Johnnies? Yes, sir, Johnny Foreigner on my way. (SLAP!) Listen, here, Yankee Doodle Dandy, musical genius or no musical genius, we will not tolerate slacking here! Are you receiving me loud and clear? Yes, receiving you loud and clear. Don't answer me back, boy! But you asked - Period! As you say in America. Now, haul some ass and get to your class, before I have you expelled! Summer students! I'll have them all expelled! (HUMS) St Paul's Cathedral, Kumar. OK, Cody, come in! One, two, one two, testing! I got it! Lovely! "Kumar, we're heading to the east side security entrance." "Gotcha!" Not a bad view, eh? But it can be improved. When this is over, I intend to replace stuffy old St Paul's with a statue of myself. Rather marvellous, don't you think? What about you, Victor? I worked for the CIA for 20 years, 20 years! And when the time came to reward my efforts, I was humiliated, put in charge of children, and a lesser man was given my rightful job as director. If this project of yours works, Duncan, I'm gonna use it to bring the entire organisation to its knees. (BEEPING) "Dr Kenworth, sir." Yes? "I think we're ready." Excellent. Cheers! Tally ho! We're here to get info, so don't blow your cover! OK, Agent Blankie! It was not a blankie! It was a big, red, fluffy blankie! (FARTS) Er, excuse me, is this where I drop off my fluids? What? Er, my doctor, he told me that I was supposed to, er, bring in my pee today, so I filled these - What do you mean, doctor? Er, my doctor. Do you mind? I'm eating a sandwich! Now, get those off my desk! Sure, I got it. Oh! Ooh! Hey! I'm sorry about that. My bad! Hey, it's just pee! But I wouldn't touch that. My doctor said it could be contaminated! Out! Oh, um, wait a minute! Ain't this the hospital? This is not the blinking hospital! Get out! Oh, brother, I'm sorry, man! I didn't mean to spill my pee on you! I got more where that came from. Keep the beakers for drinking glasses. (HUMS) OK, he's in. Head west towards the boiler room on level one. Service elevator to the left. You got your chewing gum? Everything's cool. Finger-scan entry and you're home and dry. (DOOR OPENS) I'm in. (PA) "Professor Black, make your way to the psychiatric laboratory." (HUMS/BELCHES) I am so excited! (RADIO) "I'm in position." Ten-four, good buddy! Ten-four, good buddy? What? Man, that is so Convoy! "Guys, cut it out! Something's going on in the lower lab." Thank you, Santiago. Begin the test. The blackout gas lasts long enough to clamp the jaw and insert the microchip into a cavity of my choice. What if the guy doesn't have a cavity? Then, I'll make one. High five! Looks like they're working on a sort of mental-dental microchip. Basically, there's enough transmittive data in the microchip to relay complex information back from the brain and into a simple mobile operating system. Rather marvellous, don't you think? Rather marvellous. See for yourself. If you planted one of these microchips in you president, you could make him do whatever you please. You could use him to create absolute mayhem back home. Whoa! Diaz, this could cause total chaos! I need to get a closer look. (BUZZING) What the devil? We got a code red. I'm out of here. OK, OK! Kumar, the boy needs a back door. What we got? I got it! I need you in at the number three elevator. That sounds easy! Shut down all elevators! "Two floors up you got an air duct." Cool yo-yo! OK, this could work. Ugh! Reactivate elevator three. (ELEVATOR HUMS) OK! Cody, we've got a 12-second ETA on that elevator car. Ten, nine,... ..eight,.. "OK, man, almost there!" ..seven, six,... "Pull yourself up! Pull yourself up!" ..three.. "I'm in!" (LAUGHS) You're the man, Cody! We're on our way! Give it up! Go on, my son! Bloomin' fire alarm! Look out! Sorry! Cody, have you made it to the loading bay yet? Hey, Cody, we're almost there! A white Kenworth truck, do you see it? I got it! (CAR HORN BLARES/TYRES SCREECH) Nutter! You wanna get your eyes tested, mate! Come on, get in! (BOTH SHOUT) Whoo-hoo! Not bad, huh? Mess with Derek Bowman? Not today! They were experimenting with the mind-control prototype. Have they got it to work yet? I don't know. Kumar, slow down! (CAR HORN BLARES) Are we being chased? No, worse. You're late for class. Number four, sir. Wait a minute. Freeze it. My word! That's one of the musician kids staying on the estate, um... Banks. Banks! You know him? I know he's no musician. (TYRES SCREECH) See you later! There he is, Mr Banks, our American clarinettist! We were just about to send out a search party for you! I'm sorry, I was - You're honoured to be in my presence, thank you. Wasn't exactly where I was going, but, sure. Take your place. So, back to the Mozart. Oh, no! "Oh, no" what? My instrument, I think it's been stolen! Woodwind buddy! Look what I found in the trash can outside! Excellent! It seems your musical career has been miraculously revived. Now, please, take your place and we shall go from the top. A tempo, allegro molto - Sir Jerkalot, would you indulge me for one moment, please? Young Cody Banks is the only member of my talented brood I've yet to hear play a solo. Come to think of it, none of us have. I'd hate to take up valuable rehearsal time. Banks! Did you know you have spinach in your teeth? I'm saving it for later! Now, please, play! I have to remember something, something had to sink in! (CLARINET PLAYS) # "Flight Of The Bumblebee" - Rimsky-Korsakov (PLAYS FLUTE) (ALL PLAY) (ALL APPLAUD) Bravo! Bravo! Bravo! Ha! Dude, that did not at all suck! In fact, it was really rather good. Well, it's like a bicycle. You never really forget. (CLARINET PLAYS) Yes, thank you very much. You've made your point. Now, if we may continue. (BELL RINGS) Oh! Oi! Sorry, mate, I'm off duty! What do you mean, off duty? Grandpa, you invented the language, you'd think you'd understand! Bloody taxis! You go on without me. I'll get a cab back later. Where are you going? I just remembered, I had to have tea with my grandmother. Grandmother? My great-grandmother, Great-Granny Smith. Like the apple! Yeah, and I'm the apple of her eye. You won't be the apple of Lady Kenworth's eye if you're not back for dinner. OK, see you later. We've got company. I see him, I see him! Cody, walk him round the block, he'll follow you. We'll come in from the back and box him in. I got it. Hit it, Kumar! (TYRES SCREECH) Oi! What's the rush? (CAR HORN BLARES) Get out of the way! Wait! Hold on! Stop the moped! Agent Derek Bowman, CIA. Jolly good! I need to commandeer this moped! Tough tiddly! Give me the bike, man! Look, here's 50p, naff off and buy yourself a doughnut! I'll bring it back with a full tank of gas! Agh! He stole my moped! Get out of the way! Oi! Move! (SCREAMS) (TYRES SCREECH) (ENGINE REVS) Come on, get on! (BOTH SCREAM) Jump! Agh! Darn, that's a flashlight! You could have grown to be fine agent, Banks! Diaz, you're never gonna get away with this! Far from it. The best they could send after me was a boy and an overweight agent! Who are you calling overweight, chrome dome? I am not bald! That's a nice flashlight you got there, baldy! Cody, one of us has to be a decoy, OK? I volunteer. We need a plan! Sh! Agh! Ugh! Ugh! Not bad! I had a good teacher. Too bad he was insane! You should have run when you had the chance! You've still got a lot to learn, kid. Ugh! Armed police, stay still! Do not move! Repeat, do not move! Tuck your shirt in! Do you know who I am? No. I'm your worst nightmare, a limey with a badge. A what with a badge? Who are you, question boy? Who's question boy? I'll do the questions, question boy. Where did you get this stolen credit card? It's my dad's! He gave it to me in case of emergencies. A likely story. Your dad, what's that code for, then? My father! Listen, this can go one of two ways, little wally - Look, any second now that phone's gonna ring. Oh, right. You're psychic now, are you? Yeah, that's it, I'm psychic. That phone will ring, you'll pick it up, somebody will yell at you and you'll apologise and let me go. Right. Well, I'm a little psychic and I say that that phone's not gonna ring. I say you - (PHONE RINGS) I think that's for you. Yes? Yes. I'm interrogating him now. It's going very well. He's about to crack. I can tell! Right away. Yes, sir. How did you do that? Aren't you forgetting something? I... ..apologise. Mr Banks for you, miss. Thank you, Crescent. You must have some friends in very high places. I, er, guess I should thank you. You probably should. Emily? You Americans, you always think you're one step ahead of the world! I've been on this case for months! Then you blunder in and almost blow the whole thing in a matter of days! Covert operations officer? Do you like Chinese food? Sure. A rickshaw in London? Safe and economical. What do you expect? Mary Poppins pulling a horse and cart? (LAUGHS) Careful, it's spicy. So, how did a nice girl like you end up in Scotland Yard? I have an extensive martial arts background and I speak six languages, including Japanese. How about you? Oh! I have an extensive baseball card collection and I speak one language, including English. (LAUGHS) No, seriously, I filled out a form for an X-Men secret agent kit and two weeks later I was sworn in as a CIA operative. Oh, right. So, why are you actually here? Why are you here? I asked first. You're fishing. I don't fish! We know Kenworth's up to something. Tell me something I don't know. I guess that would be difficult. Oh, touche! Look, if you need my help on this - I don't need any - Don't get your knickers in a twist! Are you gonna help or not? I'll think about it. And my knickers are not in a twist! (LAUGHS) Excuse me, could you stop here, please? Yeah. Would you like a coffee? No, I don't do coffee. But I'll take a soda. OK. Thanks. Cody? Aha! Our patient's awake. Shall I begin? Please. I'm looking forward to this. Oh! Agh! Agh! Poor, poor Mr Banks. If only you'd stayed at home where you belong. Agh! Well? First he's got a small cavity I would like to take care of. I want you to implant him with a microchip, not fix his cavities! Of course, sorry. I'm sorry. Sh! Put him under! Bye! (SQUAWKS) (GASPS) Good evening. Don't you mean morning? Oh, yeah, morning. Er, he's not responding quite correctly. Look, for crying out loud, just get him to make the call! I am, I am! You get this thing working, now! You understand? This won't help, sir! Alright. Where the heck were you last night? You can say that again! Lady Kenworth, she nearly called the police! I need to call the director. The director? I think he meant to say conductor. Ain't that right, Mr Banks? Conductor? So, why did he say director? Look, Frankenstein, even a genius gets confused, OK? But he definitely said director. (PHONE RINGS) Hello. "Banks, is that you?" Affirmative. We're in. I need to meet with you, sir. I just arrived for a summit at the palace. I know, the palace, the president, top security. Piccadilly Circus, one hour. OK. Piccadilly Circus, one hour. "And don't be late, OK, pal?" Banks, are you OK? Now, now we're in complete control! Who are you meeting? For a tutti-flutti player, you sure do ask a lot of questions! And for a Compton pastry chef, you seem to know a lot of answers. Er, Mr Banks, I have that vegetarian recipe cookbook that I promised you. In the kitchen, now! Beans on toast, weird! Cody! He's gone mad! You can say that again! Beans on toast, weird! What's he doing? Cody, stop! Cody! Stop it! What are you doing? Stop it! Hey, stop it! No! Cody! Whoa! Maybe I'm not so hungry. What the heck was all that about? Cody, what on earth happened to you last night? Good evening. He means morning. Right this way, sir. Cody, are you sure this is safe? Oh, yeah, this is the safest place in town! Hola! Have a nice trip! Oh, my gosh! I know, it's fantastic, isn't it? Let's go! What - Are you trying to scare me to death? Go! What did the director say? Nothing. Hit the gas! Hit the gas, please! Let's go! What the hell is wrong with you people? I know who you are. I don't know what you're talking about! I'm British Intelligence! No, she's not! No wonder all the malls are empty. They got all you kids working undercover! I'm not a kid! Hit the gas, Kumar! Gotcha, guv'nor! She's lying! We don't have much time. They implanted Cody with a mind-control device and also your CIA director! What? Not true! Well, take a look at this. I don't believe it! Stop the car, now! We have to get that microchip out of him! Ugh! No problem! There it is! OK, we need to get a dentist or - We don't have time! Fire in the hole! Good thinking! OK. Are you nuts? A whole Mentos could blow his head off! (EXPLOSION/TYRES SCREECH) 1,000 nanograms is one microgram. Do you know what you're doing? Be quiet when a brother's breaking down the apothecaries table! The molecular weight is relative to... I got it! Open his mouth! Oh, I can't look! (POP!) (COUGHS) Ow! How did you know how to do that? A pastry chef knows his measurements! Ugh! Oh, he's coming through! Ow! You alright? Are you OK? My brain hurts! That won't be the only thing if we don't get to the director! Wait! At the palace tonight, 12 world leaders all in one place! You don't think - Diaz is a psycho warmonger. If he gets control of the leaders, who knows what they'll do? We need to call the FBI, the MI5, the Men in Black - No, no! Diaz has the director of the CIA under his control. We may be on the most-wanted list. So, what are you saying? I'm saying I hope you brought your tuxedo. Oh, I got better than that. Kumar, take me to the crib! # "Rule Britannia" Nice dress, Derek. Hey, in Nigeria, this is not a dress! Actually, it's called a buba. That's right, player! Let me tell you something. The ladies go loco for a brother in a buba! (BELCHES) Check that out! Do they do that in Russia? (LAUGHS) Thank you very much. It's very good, yes. Gordon Brown and I have this marvellous idea... Prime Minister! ..of exporting sand to Jordan. This is gonna be like taking candy from a baby. (EARPIECE) "What next, Mr Kenworth?" Hmm, let me see. How about making me director of the Royal Mint? Consider it done. (BANGS GLASS) Senors y senoras... English, you idiot! Oops-a-daisy! Ingles, Ingles! Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to propose a toast to Lord Kenworth, the new director of the Royal Mint! (ALL APPLAUD) "It's all working perfectly, Diaz." The Prime Minister's given Kenworth the keys to the royal piggy bank! He's obviously under their control. Don't worry, Prime Minister. The money's safe with me. Now, about this sand business... Darling, you're going to run the Royal Mint! (LAUGHS) Bravo! Thank you. I'll soon be one of the richest men in England, which is why I'm leaving you. Leaving me? Ah! this is turning out to be a marvellous evening! We have to stop them! Mmm. Come on. Let's go! (LAUGHS) Oops! (GASPS) (LAUGHS) (SLAP!) Move over! And now for my ultimate prize,... ..the President of the United States! Soon you'll be under my complete control! All the world's most powerful men at my fingertips! (DRILL WHIRRS) "President to gift room." The president wants to see the queen's gift room. I'm afraid that is not protocol. Now, listen! Alright, keep your hair on! Come on, Follow me. John! Good to see you. Sir, come and see the queen's gift room. Just the president. "I've arranged a presi-dental appointment!" Great! Hey. There you are! What is the pastry chef doing here and why is he wearing a dress? It's not a dress, it's a buba! Thank you! Now, then, everybody, I - I'm sorry, who are you? I, er, I'm Habu's uncle, Compton. What? No - Agh! I mean, yes, my favourite uncle, Compton. Well, children, pay attention. I have just been informed that this evening's performance must finish promptly at eight o'clock. Why? Something about a 7-Eleven summit. You mean G7? Whatever. It's a very important meeting and it has to start at eight, so no dilly-dallying, alright? We can't let that meeting happen! Kenworth and Diaz are gonna use that meeting to take over the world. What? We have something to tell you. Cody! Yo! Need to know! They need to know. Guys, we're secret agents. (ALL LAUGH) There you go. Right! And I'm Spiderman! And I'm Lara Croft! And I'm Waheeda Rehman! Who? Famous Indian actor. Right! Guys, I'm being serious! You're funny, Cody Banks. Now, if you don't mind, we have a concert to perform. Hmm? Uh-oh! (CRACK!) Agh! Oooh! Agh! Agh! OK, OK! I believe you! But what can we do? We can't let those leaders get out of that room until we say it's safe. Keep playing all night if you have to. Here, play this. I can't play clarinet. You can play this one, Sabeen. Come on, let's go. See you later, Uncle Compton! Habu! Don't forget, keep on playing! (ALL MUTTER) Each year, Her Majesty receives thousands of freebies from around the globe. Anything from a stuffed gazelle to a rare croquet mallet presented by the last Nawab of Pataudi could end up in here. Mr President, the queen's gift room! Wow! (SMASH!) Ugh! Hola! Huh? Agh! I can't see the president! I can't see him, either! Something tells me he's been checked in for a microchip root canal. You guys check out back, I'll go upstairs. Let's go! (TAPS GLASS) Your Royal Highnesses, my lords, ladies and gentlemen, Lady Josephine Kenworth! Your Majesty, esteemed guests, I'd like to introduce you to a very special international orchestra, led by our distinguished conductor, Sir Isambard Jerkalot. (ALL APPLAUD) Good luck. Thank you. Ma'am. Mr President? Hello? Mr President? # "William Tell Overture" - Rossini Where on earth is Cody Banks? And Emily Summers? Yes, where are they? Derek! Derek! Where are you? Hello? Mr President? Bring it on, baldy! I am not bald! Oh, yes you is! Yes, yes, you - Ugh! OK! Wait! Don't be so rash! We can implant him and set him onto his little pal! (CLICKS FINGERS) Better get back to the ballroom. Ugh! (GROANS) I've been looking all over for you! (GROANS) Come on, Derek! What are you doing? And in the girlie golden dress, Agent Bowman! Terminate Cody Banks! Quit fooling around! We have to find the president! Right hook, left hook! Right hook, left hook! Again! Again! Come on, Derek! Spinning kick! You can't do a spinning kick! Ugh! Up you go! Up! Aaargh! Aaargh! Aaargh! Double kick! Duck, you idiot! (LAUGHS) Hit, hit it! A little old for video games, aren't we? Aaargh! And you're too young to be snooping around past your bedtime! Heeeya! Ugh! I hate dentists! They always say it's not gonna hurt and it does! Me, I'm honest. Now, this is gonna hurt! Agh! What's happening? You're back! Come on! They had you under mind control. You thought you were The Rock! (GROANS) I guess you're not back. Ugh! What's the password? Mind control. I know that already! Tell me the password! Let's see if you can fly! Let me go! No, no! Pull me back in! I'll ask you one last time! Mind control, mind control! Oh, mind control! Destroy Banks! No! Please, please! It's me, Cody! Aaaargh! Hey, little buddy! Your Majesty, put your clothes back on! What? Ugh! Ow! Now we're even. Let's go find the president. What did you do that for? Mind control, that's your secret password? Hey, I needed something I could remember. Pathetic little man! (GROANS) Sir, wake up! What? What's going on? Special Agent Emily Summers, Scotland Yard. Sir, we've stopped them controlling your mind. Great! Terrific! Great job, Agent Summers. Agh! Banks, Bowman, I've been looking for you. We've been looking for you, too, sir. What happened here? They've taken the president! Where are my prototypes? Not there. Where are they? I'm not telling you till you let me go! Where are my... Aaaaargh! ..prototypes? Idiot! It's where everybody hides their backup disks! Where are you going? I'm leaving! Without me? Yeah, without you! I think I've... Aaargh! Oh, I got it! (GROANS) Sorry, sir. Welcome back. Make sure the president's OK, I'll get Diaz. What happened? He hit you. (MUSIC STOPS/ALL APPLAUD) Excellent, excellent! Well done, everybody! It's eight o'clock! They're getting up to leave! Play something! Hey, Berkhamp, we can't let them start that G7 meeting! Improvise! (PLAYS OBOE) Hey, what are we doing? Hey, Berkhamp, go for it, mate! # War! Huh! # Was ist it good for? Absolutely nothing! Say it again, now! # War! Huh! # Was ist it good for? Absolutely nothing! Good God, now! # Shout it! Huh! War! (EARPIECE) "Diaz, have you implanted the president yet? Diaz! Diaz!" "What the devil's going on?" # Huh! Was ist it good for? "Go take a hike, Kenworth!" # Sing it to me, now! War! Huh! # Huh! Turn yourself in, Diaz! Good idea. I got an even better one. First I kill you, then I escape. Then I rule the world! Aaaargh! So aggressive! Aaaargh! Wait! That instrument is priceless! (ALL CLAP) # Was ist it good for? Absolutely nothing! # Sing it to me, now! War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! huh! War! Huh! # War! Huh! War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! # War! Huh! War! Huh! Ow! Agh! # War! Huh! # Yeah # What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! # War! Huh! Leaving so soon, sir? Move, idiot! Very well, sir. # War! Huh! War! Huh! # What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! # Hey, yeah # What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! # Absolutely nothing! # War! Huh! # What is it good for? Absolutely nothing! # Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah! # War! Huh! # War! Where are your friends now, huh, Cody? A good student like you should take note! You trusted, what a mistake! Your friends are nowhere when you're about to die! # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! Aaaaargh! Go and write that on your lunch box! # War! # (ALL CHEER) Thank you, thank you very much. And they said I was too old to be a handler! I'm fit as a fiddle, don't you know? Thank you, Agent Jenkins. You haven't got a key to the piggy bank after all, have you? Bog off! (BLOWS RASPBERRY) Is that my husband they're leading away? I do believe it is, ma'am. Oh, how absolutely marvellous! Excellent work, Banks! I couldn't have done it without my partners. They were all vital to the operation. Thank you all! Well, so long, Agent Banks! I hope I have the pleasure of working with you again one day. Yeah, it was cool. If you're ever in Seattle, give me a call. See you guys later. See you on das flipside, Cody! Goodbye, woodwind buddy! See you, woodwind buddy. Goodbye, Cody! Cheerio, dude! Bye! Tally ho, Banks! Bye, Habu! Goodbye, Uncle Compton! Bowman! Sir! I'm impressed. All in a day's work. Tell me, did you like working with Banks? Are you kidding? I love those mini agents! They're so cute you can put 'em in your pocket! Bowman, have you ever thought of relocating? Actually, I've thought about it, sir, the food in London's weird! (BLOWS WHISTLE) You, stop running! (BLOWS WHISTLE) You, run faster! Sorroson! Sorroson! Get here! (BLOWS) Go in there and get me a chocolate surprise! Run! Run! Knees to elbows! Knees to elbows! (BLOWS WHISTLE) (LAUGHS) Hey, man, what can I do to thank you for this? Oh, you don't have to thank me! Sir, I will see you next summer, sir! Thanks, big man! (BLOWS WHISTLE) Isn't that your camp counsellor? Yeah, I was drum captain. Oh, we're always so proud of you! Oh, honey, we missed you so much! Were you homesick? Of course. Come on, losers! Get into gear! Ah-ah! Ta-da! What's this? Just a little something for our little man! Wow! This is cool! It's got tweezers! I know! Your dad and I finally decided that you were old enough. Thanks, guys, it's great. No fair! Why does Cody get a knife? I want a knife! Mom! Relax, I'll share it with you. Really? Yeah, what's mine is yours. Wow! Did you hear? Cody has to share everything with me! No take-backs! I always tell you he's a good brother, Alex. Then, can I eat half this whole pack of Mentos? Don't just take stuff out of my pocket! Why do you always fight?! I'm gonna eat three! No, Alex, don't lick the Mentos! There's a lot of candy talk in here. I'm tired of it! Open the window! What are you doing, Cody? Don't play with the window! I don't like that. (EXPLOSION) Hey, did you see that? # Don't worry about me, I'm gonna make it, alright # Got my enemies cross-field in my sight # I take a bad situation, gonna make it right # In the shadows of darkness I stand in the light # It's our style, we keep it true # I had a bad year, a lot I've gone through # I've been knocked out, beat down, black and blue # She's not the one coming back for you # She's not the one coming back with you # If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again # If a fall back down, you're gonna be my friend # If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again # If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend # It takes disaster to learn a lesson # You're gonna make it through the darkest night # Some people betray one and cause treason # We're gonna make everything alright # Whoo # Well, the worst of times, now, they don't phase me # Even if I look and act really crazy # I went way down, she betrayed me, now my vision is no longer hazy # I'm very lucky to have my crew, they stood by me when she flew # I've been knocked out, beat down, black and blue # She's not the one coming back for you # She's not the one coming back for you # If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again # If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend # If I fall back down, you're gonna help me back up again # If I fall back down, you're gonna be my friend # www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2015