1 'LOONEY TUNES' THEME MUSIC SHOOTING STAR TINKLES SOFT ORCHESTRAL INTRODUCTION (R Kelly) # I believe I can fly. # I believe I can touch the sky. # I think about it every night and day, # spread my wings and fly away. # I believe I can soar. # I see me running through that open door. # I believe... Michael. # ...I can fly. # What are you doing out here, son? It's after midnight. I couldn't sleep, Pops. Well, neither can we with all that noise you're making. Come on, let's go inside. Just one more shot? All right, just one. Yeah. (Strains) (Chuckles) That's good. Shoot it again. Getting pretty good, son. Go ahead, shoot till you miss. If I get good enough, can I go to college? Hey... If you get good enough, you can do anything you want to, Michael. I want to play at North Carolina. That's a real fine school, real fine school. You'll get a first-class education there. I want to play on the championship team. Then to the NBA. That's it, slow down, son. You oughta get a little sleep first. And once I've done all that. Uh-huh. I'll play baseball, just like you, Dad. Baseball. Yeah, now, that's a sport! And when you're finished with that I suppose you gonna fly, huh? TANTALISING MUSIC BALL BOUNCE ECHOES EARTH-SHATTERING SOUNDS, THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE (Quad City DJs sing) # Jam! # Jam! # Jam! # Come on and cram! # And walk up to the jam # Come on and cram if you want to jam! # Come on, you, what you gonna do? # Come on, you, what you gonna do? # Hey, you, what you gonna do? # Hey, you, what you gonna do? # Three, four in the house, let's go # Get your point, J.P. # Heart and soul # Work that thing and watch me flex # But how am I supposed to know what's next? # You jam # All in your face # What's up? Just fill the place # Jump it, knock it, down the room # Break it, break it space kaboom # Just work that body, work that body # Make sure you don't hurt nobody # Do what? Use your mind # Keep that thing in the overtime # Hey, DJ # Turn it up # City DJs gonna burn it up # Come on, y'all, get it on the floor # So, hey, what's it for, hey? # Come on, it's time to get a'high # I say, "Ooh!" # There it is # Come on, huh # Don't sell your soul # Ooh! # There it is # Come on, one time for the ladies, say it # Ooh! # There it is # Now, all the fellas say it # Ooh! # There it is # Come on # Everybody get up # It's time to slam now # We've got a real jam going down # Welcome to the Space Jam Space Jam, yeah # Here's your chance do your dance at the Space Jam # All right (Echoes) # Wave your hands in the air if you feel right # We're gonna take it into overtime # Welcome to the Space Jam # Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam # Come on and run, baby, run! # Come on, come-um-on, do it! # Run, baby, run! # There, you know the hoop # So shoot, baby, shoot # Uh! It's down at the hoop # So, shoot, baby, shoot, baby # Come on and slam and welcome to the jam # Come on and slam if you think you want to jam # Come on and slam and welcome to the jam # Come on and slam if you think you want to jam # Everybody get up it's time to slam now # We've got a real jam going down # Welcome to the Space Jam, Space Jam # So shake and do your jazz at the Space Jam # All right! Oh, yeah # Wave your hands in the air if you feel right # We're gonna take it into overdrive # Welcome to the Space Jam # Here's your chance, do your dance at the Space Jam # All right, there it is # Hey, ladies, no time to stop # And you all want to know why # Why? # This is the Slam Jam # Fellas # Yeah # Know where to stop? # No # You all wanna know why? # Why? # It's just the Slam Jam # Come on, everybody say "Na-na-na-na-nah!" # Come on, come on let me hear you say... # MICHAEL: I feel at this time I reached the pinnacle of my basketball career and I must retire. MURMURING One good thing from this is my father could see my last game. That means a lot to me. REPORTER: What now? Well, I've never really told anybody this except for one person but I think I'm gonna go and play professional baseball. Where are you gonna play? Which position? As a kid I was a pitcher. I think that'd be hard now so I'll play the outfield. RACY ORCHESTRAL MUSIC ROCKET ZOOMS ELECTROSTATIC HUM APOCALYPTIC MUSIC CAROUSEL MUSIC, SCREAMING Whoo-hoo! Let's get out of here, Dad. This stinks. Don't bring me here anymore, right? (Echoes) Don't bring me here anymore, right? Are you listening? Did you hear him? Did you hear him? That little brat is right! I've told you - if I've told you once, I told you a thousand, thousand, thousand, thousand times. We need new attractions! ALL: Right! New ones. Uh-huh. Get it?! Big, shiny new things. Absolutely, sir. Look at me and listen. The customer is always right. (Screams) BOTH: Right. The customer is always right. ALL: Yeah, exactly. Always! SLUSHES Er. ALL: Right. OK, we need something... Hi, Dad. We need something... (Screams) ..nutty! Nutty! Something wacky. Ooh, wacky! We need something, something, something, something... We need something... Looney? Oops. Looney! Why, thank you. Looney? I'm an elf. Shoot me. 'THE BARBER OF SEVILLE' MUSIC Yes! Looney! Yes! Now, you're talking. Looney! Looney! That's it. That's the word I was looking for - 'Looney'. Get the 'Looney Tunes'. 'Looney Tunes'. Bring 'em here. Sir, just noticing, sir, they're from earth. What if they can't come? What did you say? "What if they CAN'T COME?" Make 'em. Cool. (Echoes) Make 'em! (Laughs wickedly) Looney! ALL: Yeah, right. CROWD ROARS He looks good in that uniform. He looks great. You can't teach that. Can't teach it. Thanks for autographing that basketball for my kid. I'm a hero now. I'm happy to do it, man. Let's go! Curve ball. Don't swing. Don't swing. Ball! Fast ball, outside corner. Swing. Strike! That was your pitch. I know. I missed it. Don't worry, I'll get you another one. Podolak. Podolak, come here. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to... Come here. Yes, sir? I want nobody bothering Michael. He must be the happiest player ever. The happiest. Slider. Don't swing. Strike two! I told you not to swing. I couldn't help it. I understand. Hey, nice talking to ya. LOUD CHEERING AND APPLAUSE We're not worried. We're not worried. Good cut, Michael. Good cut. That was a strike-out, Mike? That was a good-looking strike-out. You look good when you strike out, man. When I strike out it looks nasty. Oh-oh! Hi. Hi, Mr Jordan. Mr Jordan, I'm Stan Po... Ah! Ow! Ow! Ow! Jeez! (Groans and sighs) You all right? (Sighs) That was a nasty fall. Yeah! Oh, I'm Stan Podolak, Mr Jordan. I'm the Barons' new publicist. I'm here to make your life easier. Want me to drive you somewhere, I will. Want me to collect your laundry, babysit your kids, I will do it. I am here to personally guarantee no-one will ever bother you. ROCKET ZOOMS What was that? SCREAMING Hang on! Hanging on. Wha-ha! Hanging on. Are we there yet? MUSIC BUILDS (All scream) 'LOONEY TUNES' THEME MUSIC Fantastic. Cool. GUNFIRE ELMER FUDD: All right, you harass of a bunny. I'll be with you in a second, folks, after I've finished with nature boy, here. All right, you pesky rabbit. I've got you now. GUN COCKS Ouch! OMINOUS MUSIC One small step for moi! ALL: Moi! One giant leap for Moron Mountain! (Screams) And one whopper headache for Elmer Fudd. TINY FEET FLIP-FLOP Diminutive, ain't they? We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny. Yeah, Bugs Bunny. Have you seen him? Where is this guy? Is he around? Mmm, Bugs Bunny. Bugs Bunny? Say, does he have great big long ears like this? ALL: Yeah, yeah. Uh-huh. And does he hop around like this? (Boings) ALL: Yeah. Well, uh, does he say, "What's up, Doc?" like this? Uh, what's up, Doc? ALL: Yeah! Nope, never heard of him. (All sigh) You know, maybe there is no intelligent life out there in the universe after all. (Hums merrily) LOUD EXPLOSION Hold on there, Mr Looney Tune. Hey, what do you think we are? Stupid? Don't move a muscle. OK, Bunny, gather up your Tune pals. We're taking you for a ride. (All laugh) Deadly, all right. So, like, where we going? WHISTLING THWACK Are we there yet? STAN: I'm sorry it took so long. MICHAEL: Don't worry. That exit at 65 wasn't marked. Hold up. Right here. What, here? Yes. SCREECHING (Sighs) Thanks for the ride, Sherm. Much appreciated. It's Stan, Mike. I'm sorry. That's all right. Call me Sherm if you want because I think... Stan, Stan. ..you're the greatest athlete ever. How do I get out of here? Oh! This door doesn't work. Sorry! I forgot this tank's a classic. It's a classic - but it's got a few peccadillos. Just a second. A few, huh? It's smokin' too. You need to get that checked. (Growls) Thanks for the ride. Oh! Oh, this is nice. Thanks. This is a nice house. That's a beauty. Colonial? No, it's a nice house. If you need anything done around the house... No, I'm fine, thanks. Anything you need? No, you gave me a ride. You sure? Tomorrow, I'm driving, OK? So I don't need the ride. But thanks, though. Too conspicuous? Yeah. I knew it. All right. Thanks, though. All right, tomorrow. See you tomorrow. (Yawns and barks lazily) CHARGING MUSIC (Pants) (Growls) Go away, dog. No! Oh, dog! Get off of me. (Slurps) Oh, Mr Jordan, are you OK? Get off me. Get off him, Charles. Bad dog. Come on, Charles. Get off of him before I cook you. Charles! Come on, baby. Come on. CHATTER Shut the door. Hi, kids. Hey, good game. Hey, Jeff, you OK? How was your game? I don't want to talk about it. Hi, Dad. Hey, hey. ALL: Michael! Daddy, Daddy! Ah, how you doing? Good? Hey. Hey. Ooh, you're all covered with drool, baby. That's your dog. (Laughs) What's the matter with Jeff? He lost 32 points in his batting average. Is that all? Yeah. That puts him at 685. He's batting what? Mmm, smells good in here. What you cooking? Chicken. Chicken and what? Chicken and collard green. Good, I'll need a good meal tonight. (Laughs) Is everything OK? Why, I stunk up the place! I hope this baseball thing's right. Another career day for Michael Jordan today. Wait a minute. What are you guys watching? Today he went 0 for 4, three strike-outs... Is this the only thing on TV? ..bringing his batting average down to 214, also his playing weight. Baseball bat? Get this guy a tennis racquet. Did everyone get mad at you? No. Worse - everyone was real nice about it. Michael, I know golf is your sport, but not here. I think you should open up your stance a little, make you more aggressive at the plate. You think so? I'll remember that. Watching this hurts me more. Why are you guys watching this stuff? It's bad for you. There you go. 'Roadrunner'. Beep-Beep! (Whispers) ROADRUNNER: Meep-Meep! (Stutters) Stop this cartoon. (Pants) We've got an emergency cartoon character union meeting to go to. (Sighs) Meep-Meep! Hey, wait for m-m...wait for... hold your horses. Damn, where did they go? DRAMATIC MUSIC Stop the music. Top duck coming through. Jeez, it's getting so a guy can't even get himself wet around here. So, what's the big emergency? These little guys would like to make an announcement. Here you go, shorty. All right, all right. (Clears throat) You, all of you, are now our prisoners. RAUCOUS LAUGHTER SYLVESTER: We're in big trouble now. We're taking you to our theme park in outer space... No fooling. ..where you will be our slaves placed on display for the amusement of our paying customers. Oh, fear clutches my breast! CACKLING We ain't a'goin' nowhere! Uh, not so fast, Doc. You just can't turn us into slaves. That would be bad. You've gotta give us a chance to defend ourselves. Oh, yeah. Who says? Yes, who? Why? Just a sec. There! Read 'em and weep, boys. What's this? (Reads) "Give them a chance to defend themselves." Oh, do we have to? It's in the rule book. OK, it's in there. Uno momento! We have to confer. All right, troops, it is for us to choose a battlefield that affords us... Oh, I got it. Yes, Private Porkster? How about we challenge them to a...(Stutters)..spelling bee? (Lisps) Say, we could have a bowling tournament. (Laughs inanely) Suffering succotash! What's wrong with all of ya? I say we get a ladder, wait till the old lady's left then grab that little bird! (Wheezes) Whoa, whoa. Take a deep breath, Sly. OK, let's analyse the competition. Now, what are we looking at here? We got a small race of invading aliens... Small arms, short legs. Not very fast. Tiny, little guys. Can't jump high. ALL: Aha! We challenge you to a basketball game. All right, basketball it is. Basketball! Basketball. Oh, boy, oh, boy. All right! What is basketball? Beats me. I've no idea. Lights! Pardon me. Hey, down in front. An exhilarating team sport, currently growing rapidly in popularity, is basketball. Unlike football and baseball, only five men can play on a team. It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle game that requires quick wits and even faster reflexes. Here's how it's done in the professional ranks - the National Basketball Association, featuring the best players in the world. The best players in the world. The best! CACOPHONY OF TRAFFIC (Spin Doctors sing) # That's the way # Uh-huh, uh-huh # I like it # Uh-huh, uh-huh # Yeah, that's the way # Uh-huh, uh-huh # I like it # Uh-huh, uh-huh # That's the way # Uh-huh, uh-huh... # JEERING I'm so sorry! Ow! Get your feet out of my nose! Quiet! They're looking! Hey, it's basketball! Where? Whoa! Now what? CHEERING Oh! Oh! What? What? She's looking again! Close it up! Close it up! Ugh! You poked me again. (Groans) Sweetheart. What? You were getting better seats this year. This is the best I could get. This guy's doing something weird in his raincoat. Honey, let me watch the game! Barkley's killing us. Hey! Someone's killing someone. No? Seriously? Wow! A killer! Let me see. There! That's him! The killer! He's big. He's good. He's mine. OK, go get him! Yeah! Watch me fall! JEERING CHEERING (Salt-N-Pepa sing) # Upside down you're turning me # I'm giving up instinctively # Round and round you're turning me # Assailing me deceptively # Upside down you're turning me # I'm giving up instinctively... # I'm calling time out! HOOTER BUZZES Man, you're killing us! Open up! Wow! We did it. I got it! I got his talent! OTHERS: Whoa! What's the matter? Man, I'm fine! I'm fine, I'm fine. I've played you too many minutes. Go get the doctor. Are you all right? Yeah. Come on! We're OK. We're OK. Come on, let's go. (Blows whistle) CROWD YELLS Come on, Patrick, it's show time! JEERING In a shocking development, five NBA players have been placed on the disabled list in the last 24 hours all suffering from the same mysterious ailment. Yeah. Whatever this mystery is... I'll be home in a couple of days. Watch Patrick Ewing. Put Jemima on the phone. Hey, babe. How you doing? Check out Muggsy Bogues and Larry Johnson. You watching TV? What the hell's going on? You be all right? Yeah, I'm ready, Coach. Yeah, I'm ready. Looks like I retired just in time. KNOCK AT DOOR All right, babe. I got to go. I'll call you later. Love you. Goodbye. (Hangs up) It's open! Michael, it's game time! Get your Hanes on, lace up your Nikes, grab your Weeties and your Gatorade and we'll grab a Big Mac. Now we take you live to Los Angeles where the Lakers are refusing to take the court. Guys, we got to get dressed. We got a game in five minutes. It's a huge fine! We can't go in the locker room. Look at Barkley and Ewing. There's germs in there. OTHERS: Yeah! That was in New York! 3,000 miles away. Bacteria like that travels faster than light. Like 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'. OTHERS: Yeah! All right, dress in the hallway. OK, OK! Which of you maroons has ever played basketball before? I have, Coach! And there's an important strategic question I need to ask you! SONG: # I'm giving you all that I've got # The best part of me... # What do you think? I'm kinda partial to purple and gold, myself. It goes better with my colouring. Er...guys! (Stutters) Nice outfit, Daffy. (Sings) # Disco duck! # The little aliens say it's their turn to use the court. Yeah, sure. Let the little pipsqueaks knock themselves out. Too bad you can't practise getting taller, boys! ALL: Whoa! Whoa! (Laughs evilly) Hey, little pig. Boo! (Screams) I...wet myself. (Aliens laugh evilly) Time to play a little basketball. Those little pipsqueaks just turned into superstars! They're m-m-m-m-monsters! (Lisps) Suffering succotash! They're mon-stars! Bye-bye! Uh,... I think we might need a little bit of help. (Man sighs) 175 yds. OK, little feller! Are you my friend? Or are you my enemy? You are my friend, aren't you? You are my ally. You are my associate, my personal assistant. You are my weapon. You are leaving. OTHERS: Ooh! Great shot! Ooh, nice shot, Mr Murray. (Claps) You can stop posing now. Good try. Not bad. Not bad. Something for you all to shoot at. Hit it good, Larry. Do my best. It's a good shot. Yeah, I know. Mike, I got to ask you something. The NBA has to face reality. What's happening to these players is serious. They're gonna need new talented players, skilled guys that never really thought about a professional career before. You think I got a shot? Come on - really. No. Don't kid me. Listen, it's a man's game. And you can't play. What if I tried really hard? Keep it down! It's 'cause I'm white, isn't it? No. Larry's white. So what? Larry's not white. Larry's clear. Gosh, Larry! Gotcha! Boy, that's nice! Get inside of his ball! Whoo-hoo-hoo! You clowns can't beat that. It's my best shot ever. You haven't played long. It's a hall-of-fame shot. Nice shot, Mr Bird. Larry, please. Nice shot, Mr Larry. Great shot, Larry. Don't be nervous. Don't be nervous. You can do this. Larry, the NBA has to face reality. It's got to look for more dominant players in places they never looked before. Look at the ball. Visualise the shot. Right, right, right. Right? Be the ball! Be the ball! Get off the tee. You can't jump. I... Yeah, go on. Close to the pin? Close to the pin. Sounds good. I'd go close to the pin. OK. I'll take some of that. That's not bad. Good shot. Get down! Look at it. Look at that spin. Come on. It is alive! Yes! My first hole in one! Yes! Oh, don't say that. Larry, nothing but the bottom of the cup. Yeah, that's his ball too. Yeah, yeah. That's my ball. Sorry. Let me get a picture. All right, smile. You're reaching. You're reaching for the ball. Then you smile, OK? Yes. And you think this is good! Just take the picture! OK. What kind of camera is that? It's just... Don't point it at me! Close the lens cap! That's just.. Where is he? (Yells) (Birds twitter) Uh...look out for that first step, Doc. It's a real lulu. Bugs Bunny? Er...you were expecting maybe the Easter Bunny? You're a cartoon. You're not real. Not real, eh? If I weren't real, could I do this? Ugh! Look, is that Michael? Michael! It's M. Jordan! Basketball! Ooh, I tought I taw... I did! I did tee Michael Jordan! (Stutters) Pardon me, Mr Jordan. Could I have your auto...auto... your John Hancock, please? Back off! Let the doctor take a look! Whoops! A little high. No... Going down? (Laughs maniacally) Oh! So...what do you say we go for a little spin? Hmm. Now, let's see what we've got inside here. (Yodels) Say 'ah'. All right. He's OK! What's going on here? Why, Michael, I thought you'd never ask. These aliens come from outer space. They want to make us slaves in their theme park. They're little so we challenge them to a basketball game but then they ain't so little. They're huge! We need to beat these guys. They're talking about slavery, making us do stand-up comedy - the same jokes every night for all eternity. We'll be locked up like wild animals, trotted out to perform for low-brow, bug-eyed, fat-headed, humour-challenged aliens! Uh, what I'm trying to say is WE NEED YOUR HELP! But I'm a baseball player now. Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor. Mike? Michael? It's...it's Stan. Stan Podolak. Look, I need you to come out now because you've got a baseball game tomorrow. And I'll look pretty stupid if you don't show up. * Think Michael's all right? I hate to leave him like this. I'm sure he's fine. He just had to get away from Stan. He's pathetic, isn't he? Yeah. Larry, I'm giving us both 2s back there. We weren't in any emotional state to putt. That's fair. Yeah. If Mike is gone, the NBA is gonna need some new people. There's room at the top. An exciting guy who could maybe perform at half-time. Are you still tight with David Stern? I want to help but I haven't played basketball in a long time. My timing's off. We'll fix your timing. Look at our facilities! We've got hoops! We've got weights! We've got balls! You sure do. This place is a mess. Mess? You're worried about a little mess? There's nothing here a little spit shine wouldn't fix! Spit shine! Spit shine! Lemony fresh! You guys are nuts. (Stutters) Correction. We're the Looney Tunes. And as such are the exclusive property and trademark of Warner Bros Inc. OMINOUS RUMBLING I'm here! Me too. That hurt! (Aliens growl) Who are these guys? Well, remember the tiny aliens I told you about? Oh. You've heard of the Dream Team. Well, we're the Mean Team, Wussie Man. Wussie Man! Wussie Man? We're the Monstars. M-O-N...uh... Let's see what you've got. I don't play basketball anymore. "I don't play basketball anymore." Maybe you're chicken! (Clucks) I say! I resemble that remark! You calling me chicken? Hey! Come here! (Cries out) Nice footwork! Can you believe it? Get out of the way! Hey, everybody, look at your hero now! (Aliens laugh) You guys are making a big mistake. You're all washed up, Baldy! Baldy? He is not washed up! Michael's the greatest ever! Shut up! Ooh! (Whimpers) Ooh, my poor little cwanium! You OK? Yeah, are you OK? BOTH: Hey! Oops! You're not scared of them, are you, Michael? ALL: Huh? HEROIC MUSIC Let's play some basketball. LOONEY TUNES: Yay! COOL SOUL MUSIC (Barry White) # Jones, an obsession, # a burning desire, # the undeniable passion, # the love # for someone... You're... # or something... # You're Charles Barkley. Girls, come on over. Hurry up! Hurry! Look, it's Charles Barkley. Hey, can I play? ALL: Sure! # Basketball Jones # I got a basketball Jones # I got a basketball Jones # Oh, baby, ooh # Basketball Jones # I got a basketball Jones (Barry White sings) # Oh, that sounds so sweet # I got a basketball Jones Oh, baby, ooh # Ooh # Yeah... # You're not Charles Barkley. # Sing it out... # You're just a wannabe who looks like him. Sorry. Break out. You shouldn't even be here. Begone! Wannabe! Begone! Just a few more tests, gentlemen. Tests for electrolyte levels, glucose, CBCs, RBCs, et cetera. And we've scheduled a 12-lead stress test and neurological battery to improve EEG, a reflex test... Then this girl - five feet nothing - blocked my shot. When did you first start having this dream? It wasn't a dream! It really happened. # Maybe that's why he can't sleep at night... # And it climbed up my back and into my brain. Are there any other areas besides basketball where you find yourself... # Yes... # ..unable to perform? # Yeah, yeah... # No! I'm just asking. # An obsession # A burning desire... # I've been MRIed, EKGed. X-rayed, laser-beamed. I promise I'll never swear again. I'll never get another technical. I'll never trash talk. I've got other skills. I can go back to the farm. Maybe I could go back to the jungle and be a missionary again. Are you saying I'm trying to disobey my mama? You said that, Muggsy. But I love my mama. Still can't find anything wrong with us. Maybe there's nothing wrong with us. It was just in our head. We're fine. It's just some psychosomatic deal. Or the moon in alignment with another planet. I'll never go out with Madonna again. What are you doing? I'm...I'm fixing a divot. Oh. He's fixing a divot! Meep-meep! Meep-meep! Meep-meep! Has anyone here ever played basketball? Um, I have. I'd like to try out for the team. Hey! Hi. My name is Lola Bunny. Lola! Yes. Hello. My name is Bugs. (Clears throat) You want to play a little one-on-one, doll? Doll? Uh-huh. On the court...Bugs! Sure! Ooh, she's hot! Ready? Yes. I got it! I got it! The girl's got some skills. Yes? Don't ever call me...doll. Check! WOOD CLATTERS Hey, nice playing with you. Very smooth. Uh, she's obviously nuts about me. DOOR SHUTS Obviously. Mais oui! OK. Here's the ball? Let's do some drills. LOONEY TUNES: Yeah. Can anyone lend me a pair of sneakers? Uh, sneakers? Oh! Sorry. Someone has to go to my house for my basketball gear. To your house? In 3-D Land? Yeah. And whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts. Your shorts? From college? From college? I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game. ALL: Eugh! Hey! I washed them after every game. Yeah, sure! I did! Gross. DAFFY DUCK: The view back here stinks! BUGS BUNNY: Whoa! DAFFY: Ow! We're right in front of Michael's house. I knew that. Shh! OK, let's go in this way. I say let's go in that way! BUGS: He just never learns! DAFFY: Now, let me see... I must be very, very close. (Growls) Mother. MAULING NOISES (Daffy screeches) La-da-da dee Da-da da-dum! Nice digs! KNOCK AT DOOR Well, well - I wonder who dat could be? SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC Twinkle, twinkle, little star! Shh! Everyone's sleeping. I knew that. Come on! Come on! We gotta find Michael's basketball stuff. Nope, nothin' in here. Nope. Ah! But a very nice dinette set. Uh-uh, not here. Let's look upstairs. Yeth, oh fearless leader! So he needs his special underwear. Oop! Shh-shh! Sorry. You think she's got enough toys? Speakin' of toys, you know all those mugs and T-shirts and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em? Yeah. You ever see any money from that stuff? Not a cent! Me neither. It's a cryin' shame. We gotta get new agents - we're getting screwed. We have found the trophy room! Now spread out and search the place. Yeth, sahib. Oh, brother! Here I am in the peak of my form playing second banana... Yap, yap, yap. ..to some harebrain. Hmm! This could be useful. Aha! If this were a union job, I... Well, that's very nice. Oh! One of his shoes. Nope...nope... Where is that other shoe? MAGICAL TINKLING Where are you? TRIUMPHANT MUSIC Eureka! Come to Papa. (Grunts) Oops! What a fuzz foot! You are so clumsy. Catch, featherhead. Thanks! GENTLE MUSIC Well! Time to go. Did we get everything? DRAMATIC MUSIC BOTH: The shorts! In there? OK, I'll check. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC (Roars) I found...the shorts. Ow! The pain. I'm right behind you, pal! That's none too reassuring. Nice puppy. How's about a bone? GROWLING No dice. What about a nice holiday ham? He ain't buyin' it. Can't we talk this over, Rover? Down, Beethoven! Ooh! The kids are here. RESCUE MUSIC Give it to me, Jaws! (Growls) Here you go, Bugs. Nyeh! Thanks, kid. Shoo! Shoo! (Whimpers) DAFFY: Bad dog! That...is the last time I'm EVER working with dogs or children! Bye-bye! Hey, where are you going? Well, er, you see, the Looney Tunes have a big basketball game coming up and your dad's gonna play. All right! Yeah! But don't tell anybody. DOOR CLOSES MYSTICAL HUMMING (Hums) I see aliens. Little aliens from outer space. They force their way inside your bodies. They need your talent to win a... basketball game against... ..Bugs Bunny. (Mouths words) I also see Michael Jordan... ..being sucked down a golf hole... by furry creatures. That's it. We're outta here. We're leaving now. Let's try some acupuncture. Good idea. 'Bye. STAN: This is it! This is it! I don't know where you are, Michael, but wherever you are, you obviously enjoy being there more than spending time with me! You better hope this Jordan character still knows how to play hoops. You and me both, brudder. Listen, how's this for a new team name? The Ducks! Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse organisation would name their team the Ducks? So sue me! It's just a suggestion. (Hums softly) POP! POP! You're doin' it! You're becoming mighty! (Stammers) Come on, guys. No p-pain, no g-gain. I don't hear it! What is it? UP-BEAT MUSIC Come on! Hey, come on! Eh, guys... Yes? Look who's finally ready to play. SONG: # Doo doo doo-doo # Doo doo doo-doo... # Let's see if I remember how to do this. # I want to fly like an eagle # To the sea # Fly like an eagle # Let my spirit carry me # I want to fly # Fly, fly into the future # Time keeps on slippin', slippin' slippin' # Into the future # Time keeps on slippin'... # Michael! # Slippin', slippin' # Into the future... # Is it really you? Oh! Thank God you're all right! (Sobs) You're all right! Oh, I was so worried. Come on, Stan, don't hug me, please. Sorry. What are you doing here? I...I gotta take you back. You got baseball practice. I can't. I'm helping my friends in their basketball game. Oh, Michael...do you know that your friends are cartoon characters? Yeah. So? No. It doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me. Let me help! Let me help! I could help. Let me help! What can you do? I may not be very tall, but... ..I'm slow. And large. And a dork. I'll do anything, Michael. Anything! Anything? Anything. Come here a second. Sit right here. (Chuckles) OK. OK. OK. No problem. (Blows raspberry) All right! Let's go, team! You know, if somebody gets injured, we could see a lot of minutes. I'm a cheerleader. SIRENS WAIL DRAMATIC MUSIC CLAMOURING VOICES Commissioner! (Reporters yell out questions) Ladies and gentlemen, please! Quiet! Commissioner! Listen. After meeting with team owners, I have decided that until we can guarantee the health and safety of our NBA players, there will be no more basketball this season. UPROAR EXCITING MUSIC MUSIC POUNDS Just get out of my way. CLANG! Ready? ALL: Yes! Let's go. CROWD ROARS (Makes speech indistinctly) LOUD, EXCITING MUSIC POUNDS (Snores) Okey-doke, ready to go? Yeah, yeah. Sure, sure. (Squeaky voice) Riot! (Clears throat genteelly) (Deep, manly voice) Ladies and gentlemen... The starting line-up for the Tune Squad! AUDIENCE ROARS Standing two foot four, the Wonder from Down Under, Tasmanian Dev-il! CHEERING At small forward, standing a scintillating three foot two, the heart-throb of the hoops, Lola Bunny! WILD CHEERING AND WOLF WHISTLES At power forward, the quackster of the courts, Daffy Duck! Thank you. Thank you. SILENCE EXCEPT FOR CRICKETS CHIRPING Very funny! Let's all laugh at the duck. In the high court, standing three foot three - four feet if you include the ears - pride of the Tune Squad, doctor of delight, Bugs Bunny! CROWD ROARS Thank you! Thank you! (Aliens blow raspberries) And now...the player coach of the Tune Squad, at six foot six, from North Carolina, his royal airness Michael...Jordan! CROWD GOES WILD Who? Is he a Looney Tune? Uh...uh, well, perhaps. You guys ready? Let's take it to the rack, Jack! Those Monstars will wish they'd never been born! Guys, let's just go and have fun. ALL: Yeah! COMPERE: The challengers for the Ultimate Game, all the way from Moron Mountain, the Mon-n-n-stars! (All growl) Go, Monstars! Go, Monstars! Go, Monstars! LOUD BOOING (Growls) What are you lookin' at? (Roars) (Gasps) OMINOUS MUSIC (Laughs) Cool shoes! Uhh... Heh?! Ready? HOOTER BLOWS CROWD ERUPTS Look! I got it! I got the ball... Outta the way! Yipe! LOUD BOOING DING! Way to go, boys! Did you see his moves? EXCITING MUSIC BUILDS Whoops! The duck! Yeah - beat up on the duck! DRAMATIC MUSIC Oh, my. BIRDS TWITTER She was wide open! Come on! Come on, now! EXCITING MUSIC (Grunts) Let's see if I can get it away from you! Watch it! Watch it! CROWD ROARS How did he do that? N-n-nice shot, Mr Jordan. Hey, hey! Come on - get back on defence. Way to go! MJ! MJ! BELL RINGS ALL: Red light. Feed me! Feed me! Feed YOU? Feed ME! Bad ol' puddy tat! I'll take that, thank you. Don't try this at home! DRAMATIC CHORD (Sings) # I wish I was in the land of cotton... # Going somewhere? May I remind you, sir, that physical violence is... (Roars) YE-EOW! Did you order original recipe or extra crispy? HOOTER BLOWS Let's go. Me? Oh, boy! I'm ready. Mouse? I can do this. Picked the mouse?! I love basketball. I've always loved basketball. Do you love basketball? Uh-huh. You're big. I bet you're good. I'm small, but I try hard. OK. I always try hard. Yeah. My mom says try your best... UPROAR CHEERING Try and get by me, doll. Doll?! (Blubbers) CROWD ROARS Don't ever call me... (Blows) ..doll. Nice shot. Thanks, Bugs. LOUD HIP-HOP MUSIC (Chatters nervously) DING!DING!DING!DING!DING! Arghghghgh! BANG! Half-time. HOOTER BLOWS (Coughs) 'BATMAN' MUSIC Holey puddy tat! OMINOUS POUNDING MUSIC (Wails) Moron Mountain, here we come! We're gonna be slaves! Come on, guys - keep your head up. There's a whole 'nother half. SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC UH! It's the boss! ALL: Hello, Mr Swackhammer. All right! Not bad for the first half. But we gotta keep this up. Hey, no problem. We stole the... Talents from the best NBA players! From the NBA?! (Keeps rabbiting on) Shut up! (Sniffs) I smell something. (Sniffs) Er...we have been playing really hard. Yeah. Not you, you idiot! OMINOUS MUSIC It's coming from over here. (Gulps) That locker. ALL: Yeah! Look! (Sobs) It's the chubby boy! Ah! It smells like a spy! (Laughs nervously) Mm...g... You guys need a publicist? I can make you big. Look, I know we're down. DAFFY: Oh, yeah. But I've been in this situation many times before. What a piece of work! We can still win. We gotta believe in ourselves. Oh, yeah. We can come back and win. Yeah, right. (All gasp) DRAMATIC MUSIC (Mumbles) Looks like Stan had a close encounter with a bug zapper! Monstars... The Monstars... (Coughs) DRAMATIC CHORD CRASH! Oh, my. Ooh! That's gotta hurt. You all right, Stan? The Monstars... (Coughs) The Monstars stole the talent from the NBA players! ALL GASP ALL: Oh! So that's what happened to those guys. I think we should qui-qui...forfeit. ALL: Yeah! Listen! I didn't get dragged down here to get my butt whipped by Monstars! I ain't goin' out like that. We're letting them push us around! (Hums chirpily) We gotta fight 'em back, take it to them. We gotta get right in their faces! (Hums) What do you say? Are you with me or not? LOUD SNORING Eh, finished? Great speech and all, Doc. You had 'em riveted. But, eh, didn't you forget something? What? Your Secret Stuff. Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. TRIUMPHANT MUSIC Wow! Whoa! Nice deltoids. Play along. SCEPTICAL MUSIC Stop hogging it, Mike. We're your team-mates. Secwet Stuff. Secret stuff! You wouldn't hold out on us, would ya? No. I mean, I didn't think you guys really needed it. You're so tough and competitive. We're also chickens, son. We need it bad! Hey! Uh...I'd like some. LOLA: Could I have a sip, please? You know, this goes against everything they taught me in health class. You want to win or not? Bottoms up! (Gargles) Ooh! Yummy! All right! How about we kick some alien butt, huh? Let's go! How about it? Ready? ALL: Yeah! POUNDING MUSIC (Growls) HUH! TYRES SQUEAL Coming through! Ooh! CROWD ROARS Bugs! Special delivery! CROWD EXPLODES Strike TWO! Boo! ROAARR... Uh? Nice kaboom, Wile E. BULLETS RICOCHET 'PULP FICTION' THEME EXCITING MUSIC CHEERING Let's get them! LAUGHTER Nice butt! AUDIENCE GUFFAWS G-g-going up! You're mine, Porky! Hit me! Hello! A leetle surprise for you, my friends. Oh-hoh. (All moan) Heh-heh! Mwah! Two points. CELESTIAL MUSIC (Roars) FANFARE (Growls) Ooh! This will be good. AUDIENCE HOOTS BULLFIGHTING MUSIC (Growls) MUSIC BUILDS AARGH-H-H-H-H! EXPECTANT HUSH Hey, birdie. Uh-oh. HI-I-I-I-I... ..YA! TRIUMPHANT MUSIC CROWD ROARS Yes! Time ou-ou-out! HOOTER SOUNDS (Blows whistle) Shut up, you little bug. Get away from me. Powwow. All right, we're back in this game. Let's play some tough defence. Wooh! Why didn't you get this guy? He's a baseball player. Yeah, boss - a baseball player. Looks like a basketball player to me. Yeah, me too. He's the one I want for Moron Mountain. Hey! DRAMATIC CHORD Are you talking to me? Yeah, I'm talkin' to you. You want a piece of me? Come and get it. (Laughs evilly) Uh-oh. What did you have in mind? What about we raise the stakes a little bit? Mmm... Interesting. If we win, you give the NBA players their talent back. But what if WE win? SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC If YOU win? Mm-hm. You get me. Good deal, boss! Doc, do you think that's a good ide... You'll be our star attraction. You'll sign autographs all day long. CLANG! And play one-on-one with the paying customers. Wah! Hoo-hoo! And you'll always lose! Do we have a deal? SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS Deal. (Chuckles evilly) CRUNCHING SOUNDS AUDIENCE GASPS OMINOUS MUSIC I don't think you shoulda done that, Doc. I have faith in my team. DRAMATIC MUSIC Crush 'em! WHISTLE BLOWS MUSIC POUNDS (Stammers) AGHHH! Goodbye! Uh! CROWD GROANS Fore! (Tweety yells) OMINOUS MUSIC BUILDS But, Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I want to stay home and bake cookies with you! Heh-heh. Lola! Lola! Heads up! What? CROWD GROANS, WHISTLE BLOWS (Gasps) Oh, my! Bugs! (All gasp) Bugs! Is this your man? (Chuckles) Are you OK? Me? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. Are you OK? Oh, Bugs. Thank you. Aw, it was nothin'. That was the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Time out. HOOTER SOUNDS 'FUNERAL MARCH' PLAYS THOUGHTFUL MUSIC OK. We need a fifth player. Hey, coach, listen. You got more secret stuff? It's wearing off. It didn't wear off. It was water. You had the special stuff inside you all along. Yeah, yeah, I knew that. But listen, you got any more? (All) Yeah. PORKY: Can I have some too? Stan. (Stutters) Me?! You're in at centre. Just guard the big guy, OK? Guard 'im? I'll smother him! I'll be all over him like a cheap suit! Like steak on rice! I tell ya, he's going down! ROCK MUSIC Michael, over here! Over here! I'm open! I'm open! (Growls) Yes! (Crowd cheers) A-ha! Nice shot! MONSTER: Make mine pancake. ALL: Ewww! SIREN WAILS Let's get him outta here. CONTINUOUS FARTING NOISE Eugh! Yuck! Oh, my! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE SIREN WAILS How did they do that? Anybody could do that, Doc. Even you. Watch this. (Chokes) (Splutters) No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land. 10 seconds to go? Thanks for telling me...Doc. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Your Airness, but if you don't find a fifth player, your team will forfeit the game. Forfeit? Precisely, Sir Altitude. No way. We'll find someone. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-daaaaa! (Crowd cheers) Whoa, whoa, whoa! I didn't know Dan Aykroyd was in this picture! Hey! Perhaps I could be of some assistance. THAT'S our fifth guy. Now you get to live out your dream. Let's go. We need to score two points... Here's how I see it. Duck. Yesth! Kick it in to the girl bunny at the post. Dish it to the guy bunny. Got it! Swing around to Mike. Go to the hole and dominate! Bill, we on defence! ALL: Oh, yeah. Whoa-ho-ho! I don't play defence. Typical. All right. Listen to Mike. Listen up. Somebody steal the ball, get it to me. I'll score before time. Don't lose that confidence! OK! Paws and wings in here! All right! (Crowd cheers) This is why I was born. I thrive on pressure. Excuse me. Sorry. Yo! Easy on the trousers, Daf. Pardon me. Mr Murray, something's really been bugging me. Yeah? Just how did you get here, anyway? Bruiser's a friend of mine. Had a teamster drop me off. (Dryly) A-ha. Well, that's how it goes. Hey, you see this chunky fellow over here? Heh-heh! A-ha. (Whispers) Yeah...yeah...oh! That's good. Oh, yes! Let's do it. You the duck! Let's all play fair. Here. Yo, spaceman, don't chuck that. Come on! It's gut check time! CROWD CHEERS This must be mine. This belongs to me. Go this way! I'm going left! Don't ever trust an earthling! MUSIC BUILDS SUSPENSEFULLY LOLA: Mike! Get the rabbit! Get the girl! Come on! Come on! I'm open! I'm op... CROWD BOOS It's mine! Not today. Hey! Bring it on, dude. This is easy! You're mine! (Growls) CROWD EXCLAIMS Mike, I'm open! Never mind. (Growls) (Both growl) MUSIC BUILDS (Groans) HOOTER SOUNDS, CROWD CHEERS WILDLY EXULTANT MUSIC One, two, threeeeee! (All cheer) That was a nice pass. That was a great stretch to the basket. You really got some skills. You could play in the NBA. Thanks, Mike. I'll probably quote you on that. But I'll take this opportunity to retire from basketball. No. Come on, man. No! No! I'm retiring right now. That's all there is. I'll go out on top - undefeated and untied. That's how it is. Go celebrate with your team-mates. Come and help us, man. I'd like to, but I have to ice my knees, OK? It's time to go. All right. Goodbye, man. All right. See you. Are you sure? Yes! Definitely sure. Definitely. (Crowd cheers) LOSERS! MONSTARS: Sorry. Choke artists! Sorry again. Wait till you're back on Moron Mountain! (Screams) All right. That party's over. Get in the spaceship. Why do you take this? Because he's bigger. He's bigger?! Than we...used...to...be. (All grumble) What are you doing? (All growl) Hey - wait a minute! What are you doing?! DRAMATIC MUSIC AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! Had it in you all the time, didn't you? (All mumble) One thing though... Pass me the ball, Bugs. Give my friends their talent back. Do we have to? It's part of the deal. Touch the ball. (All mumble) Oh, OK... Fair is fair. You can touch it. That was so much fun. I feel so...insignificant. My clothes don't fit! What a trip! I'm up for another one. Can we ask you a favour, Mr Bunny? We don't want to go back to Moron Mountain. We hate it up there. It stinks. I was thinking... Can we stay here with you? ALL: Pleeeeeease? Oh, brother! I don't know if you're loony enough. Loony enough?! (All sing 'Looney Tunes' theme) Michael! Do you realise the time? It's 7:15...(Stutters)...7:15... quarter past seven. Exactly. You're playing baseball in five minutes! OK. Take this. Is it safe? Yeah. Put it in the bag. I really enjoyed playing with you guys. You guys got a lot of... ALL: A-ha? ..a lot of... ALL: Yes? Whatever it is, you've got a lot. (All giggle and preen) Well, got to go. Bugs... Yeah, Mike? Stay out of trouble. You KNOW I will! Come here! Whoa! A-whoo-whoo-whoo! (Crowd chants) We want Michael! We want Michael! The delay is killing us! Where's Michael? Where IS Michael? Oh. He's not back from his other game. What other game? Shh! Uh-uh. What other game? SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC (R. Kelly sings) # I believe I can fly # I believe I can touch the sky # I think about it every night and day. # Ladies and gentlemen... (Crowd and players murmur) ..Michael Jordan. (All cheer) # I believe I can soar # See me running through that open door # I believe I can fly CHORUS: # I can fly # I believe I can fly. # # I can fly. # Guys, we suck. Yeah, man. My grandmother played better than I do. At least you're still tall. I'm nothing now - another short guy. You got that right. It's the only thing you got right. Who's that? I dunno. Been getting your butts kicked. It's Mike. It's Mike. Whatcha doing here? Don't be embarrassed. Just face it - you guys stink. Come on, Mike. Lighten up. I know. You want your games back? What little games you had. It's hard enough as it is. Give us a break. I'm going to regret this. Stan, give me the ball. SUSPENSEFUL, MAGICAL MUSIC ALL: Oh! Phew! Look at that! Looks like something from 'Star Trek'. Touch it. No way, Jose. Pat, you want your talent back? You have no choice. Touch it. ALL: No way. Won't touch that. You'll have a bad game the rest of your career. Touch the ball. Be careful, Pat. We've tried everything else. MUSIC BUILDS Phew. Nothing. Come on, Charles. Touch it. The rest of you guys. Just touch it. DRAMATIC MUSIC Man! What was that? I like that, Mike. Hey, I caught it! Look at Muggsy handle the rock. Handling it, baby! I can handle the rock again! (All talk excitedly) Yeah, get height now! (All cheer) It gave me my powers back! Let me show you something. Let me see. (All cheer and talk) Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay, play some three-on-three with us? No. I don't think so. What you gonna do? Work on that baseball swing? Leave the baseball player alone. He doesn't play basketball any more. He probably doesn't have it any more, guys. Michael, d'you hear that? They don't think you can play the game any more. There's only one way to find out. POUNDING ROCK MUSIC ANNOUNCER: The Chicago Bulls welcome back Michaaaael Jordaaaan! (Crowd cheers wildly) What's the matter, Bill? Larry, that could've been me. Would you get off that kick? It's over. It's done with. You can't play. OK. (Choking) Let's go, Bulls! (Seal) # Gonna fly like an eagle to the sea, # fly like an eagle, let that spirit carry me. # I want to fly, oh, yeah. # Fly right into the future. # Time keeps on slipping # into the future. # Sing, time keeps on slipping, slipping, slipping # into the future. # So I wanna fly like an eagle to the sea, # fly like an eagle, let my spirit carry me. # I want to fly... # fly right into the future, # fly like an eagle would fly. # Oh, yeah. # In a sky full of people, only some want to fly. # Isn't it crazy? # (R Kelly) # I used to think that I could not go on # and life was nothing but an awful song. # But now I know the meaning of true love. # I'm leaning on the everlasting arms. # If I can see it, # then I can do it. # If I just believe it, # there's nothing to it. # I believe I can fly. # I believe I can touch the sky. # I think about it every night and day, # spread my wings and fly away. # I believe I can soar. # I see me running through that open door. # I believe I can fly. # I believe I can fly. # I believe I can fly. # (Quad City DJs rap) # Jam! All in your face! What's up? Just fill the place. # Drop it, knock it down the room, shake it, quake it, space ka-boom. Just work that body, work that body. # Make sure you don't hurt nobody. Get wild and lose your mind, take this thing into overtime. # Hey, DJ, turn it up, City DJs gonna burn it up. # Come on, y'all, get on the floor, So hey, let's go! Come on, it's time to get hyped. # Say hoop. GIRLS: # There it is. # Come on, all the fellas say hoop. GUYS: # There it is. # Everybody get up, it's time to slam now. # We got a real jam going down. # Welcome to the space jam. # Here's your chance, do your dance at the space jam. # All right. # Wave your hands in the air if you feel fine. # We're gonna take it into overtime. Welcome to the space jam. # Here's your chance, do your dance at the space jam. All right. # (Monica) # I will cross the ocean for you. # I will go and bring you the moon. # I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need. # And I will be the sun in your sky. # I will light your way for all time. # I promise you # for you I will. # Yeah... # for you I will... lay my life on the line. # For you I will fight, oh. # For you I will die. # With every breath, with all my soul. # I'll give my world, I'll give it all. # Put your faith in me. CHORUS: # Put your faith in me. # And I'll do anything. # I will cross the ocean for you. # I will go and bring you the moon. # I will be your hero, your strength, anything you need. # I will be the sun in your sky. # I will light your way for all time. # I promise you # for you I will. # I promise you # for you I will. # FUNKY JAZZ MUSIC (D'Angelo) # Oh, oh, oh. # I found my smile again. # You've helped me find my smile again. # I found my smile again. # You've helped me find my smile again. # Honey baby got me smiling. Honey baby got me smiling. Honey baby got me smiling # Whoo-oh whoo-oh. # Honey baby got me smiling. # Honey baby got me smiling. # Honey baby got me smiling. # Whoo-oh whoo-oh. # # Inch by inch and step by step, # I'm closing in on your position and destruction is my mission. # Though eight's not enough, your whole squad better duck. # It's like switch when I bust. Now your whole crew is dust. # If I hit 'em high, hit 'em high, hit 'em high. If you hit 'em low, hit 'em low, hit 'em low. # If I hit 'em high, hit 'em high, hit 'em high. If you hit 'em low, hit 'em low, hit 'em low. # (All-4-One) # For the arms to be my shelter # through all the rain. # For truth that will never change. # For someone to lean on. # For a heart I can rely on through anything. # For that one who I can run to. # For a shield from the storm. # For a friend, for a love to keep me safe and warm, # I turn to you. # For the strength to be strong, # for the will to carry on, # tor everything you do, # for everything that's true # For a shield from the storm, # for a friend, for a love to keep me safe and warm, # I turn to you. # For the strength to be strong, # for the will to carry on, # for everything you do, # for everything that's true, # I turn to you... # Well, that's all, folks. T-t-t-that's my line. T-t-t-t-t... Step aside, Babe. Let a star do this. That's all...AH! ALL: That's all, folks! Can I go home now? 'LOONEY TUNES' THEME