(GROWLS) (GRUNTS) Shaman, 'tis I, Raxion, Master of the Guard. I know who it is. What do you want, Raxion? There have been sightings, verified by our trackers. We have some gods in the area. Mm. I felt them. Oh, of course you did. Mm. (SNIFFS) And are you ready? Always. (GRIM MUSIC) Really? TRIPITAKA: What would happen if the demons got a hold of the knowledge in the Sacred Scrolls? MONKEY: The scrolls are written in the ancient language. Demons can't decode it, only gods. The Scholar knew how to read it. He taught me when I was young. Good for you, monk. (SCOFFS) And you still are young. Ooh. (SLURPS) Oh, I'm so hungry I could kill you all just to have this to myself. (CHUCKLES) Oh, I miss good food. What have you done to those potatoes? Your knife skills are tragic. -Real gods don't cook. -Real gods brush their hair. -Do they? -It's humour. So, your hair's unkempt, which is the opposite of having... Do real gods brush their hair or not? (DISTANT MUSIC PLAYS) Why do I hear music? It's coming from over there. -Sandy! -SANDY: Hurry up! (MUSIC CONTINUES IN DISTANCE) What is that? No, no, no, no. Stay here. You're not so good in conflict situations. What's happening? Monkey? RAXION: Ah, here's the third one. Oh, the big boss will be over the moon! Let's speed it up. It's too cold to fart around. Whoa, these gods are a good catch. Right, load 'em up so we can get back and put 'em to work. (KISSES) (LOW, FOREBODING MUSIC) SHAMAN: We are going to help each other. You... ...you can read the language of the Sacred Scrolls. You will translate them for us, here in the Breaking Ground. Three at once. We may be in the running for a bonus this month, Shaman. Let's crank 'em up, hey? The mind of a god is a magnificent creation. The only way to get them to do what we want is to make them think it is all their own idea. They all know the same tavern. They all know the tavern owner, Monica. So they can all play together, then. Everyone's happy. Everyone's settled in. Everyone's ready to play. (DARK MUSIC) Welcome, everyone! Don't you all look smart and lovely. Monica's night of fun is about to begin. First up, who's hungry? New guests. Eat up and settle in for the funnest night of your lives. Um, excuse me, I can't actually pay. I don't have any gold. Not needed tonight. It's all included. All you can eat and it's all free. Didn't you know that? All you have to do is have fun and eat and drink and play some games. Do you like games? -I do. -Me too. Super duper. As long as you play, you can eat. If you want more, just yell out for it. (GRASS RUSTLES) TRIPITAKA: You have to be here somewhere. (CALLS) Monkey! Sandy! Pigsy! -(WHOOSH!) -(GASPS) (WHOOSH!) First round! Up for grabs, two bags of gold... ...and a wagon full of town goodies. Are we ready? (GUESTS CHUCKLE) Are our eyes wide open? GUESTS: Yes! Are our minds ready? Yes! (PIGSY MUMBLES) Yes. Wait. Wait, what do we do? I don't know this game. What are the rules? Explain the rules! It's a memory game, so just write down the things you can remember. But I don't have a pen. Got it. -Got it? -Oh, I've got it. I've got a great memory. We're gonna own this. You have 30 seconds. Make them count. -Let's have some focus. -(GUESTS WHISPER) Focus! -(GUESTS CHUCKLE) -(WHISPERS) Go, go, go! MONICA: Translate. Translate from god language to ours, whatever you remember. What are you doing? Hurry up. I'm thinking. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) Oh, why are they always so slow? We'll be at it for centuries! Have a look at this one. Come on sunshine, get a move on. Our boss is expecting you. (METAL CLINKS) It's not working? -SHAMAN: No. -RAXION: Hmm. What's wrong with him? These gods all know how to translate the ancient language, don't they? This one is strong. He hasn't moved. Mm. A reject, perhaps. Hardly. I think he needs to be pushed a little further. We have some others ready. These gods can be broken down a little more... ...extremely. * Got a delivery to the Jade Mountain. There's some gods, broken, ready to go. You need to have a cart here by dusk. You got that? (CLEARS THROAT) Or do you need me to write it down? (CHUCKLES) Bonus cards. What are you waiting for? There are prizes for speed and accuracy tonight too, you know. Do I have to stand here and watch you? I don't care. It's stupid. Do you even know how to do this? (SCOFFS) Of course. SANDY: Monkey, I'm sure you've got beautiful handwriting. Hmm? Ah, it's... this way. Where are you going, mister? Do I know you? I know a lot of gods. Hmm. -And you can read this? -Mm-hm. -Who taught you? -The Master. The Master? The Jade Mountain. You were there. We trained together with the Master. Lior. Yes. I know you, Monkey. But that time has gone. Come. Play. You have to play. Trust me on this. Why? Well, that's why we're here. It's what we do. We translate the Sacred Scrolls. SHAMAN: He's still blocking. Astounding. His mind is strong. We need results or we need to dispose of him. That's the directive from our trusted leader. If these gods don't earn their place, then they're out. Don't tell me how to do my job, Raxion. It's not you who'll suffer if this stuffs up. -(OPENS CONTAINER) -(SIGHS) What is that? Game changer. Yeah. (SIZZLING) Pushes the god to go deeper into their own mind. Eugh. He will play. They always play. -Yaaa! -(METAL TINGS) (GRUNTS) Agh! Watch him. Learn from him. Go, go, go! (WHISPERS) I need to get back there. To the Jade Mountain. I'm sorry for what happened to you, Monkey. We all are. How long have you been here? Excuse me, don't mean to break up the party, but you can't win unless you play. Now, I know you know the answer. Pick up your pen and write it down. Neatly. I'm waiting, and I will wait all day. I'll show him. I'll show him. Just do it. The Master taught us all. Listen to your friend. If you don't play the game, we will lose. I don't want to lose. Lior,... what is this place? I don't know. But this is how you survive. (EERIE, UNSETTLING MUSIC) (UNSETTLING MUSIC CONTINUES) The ancient language. (SANDY GRUNTS) What's wrong with you? My hand is... stuck. TRIPITAKA: Monkey! Please! Three! TRIPITAKA: Sandy! Pigsy! Wake up! Monkey. MONICA: Two! Monkey, please. Did you hear that? MONICA: One! Go, go, go! (LOW, SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (UPBEAT MUSIC) SONG: # Oh, oh, hey! (CHEERING AND LAUGHTER) (RATTLING) # Oh, oh, hey! # Oh, oh, hey! # VOICEOVER: Tic Tac. Refresh every little moment. SHAMAN: You are one of the most consistent gods I've ever seen, Lior. Clever, but a follower. A natural fact checker. You will do well at the Jade Mountain. RAXION: Load 'em up. I'll be gone for two days. Will I tell 'em we've got some good ones in there? The new three are viable as they are powerful. I must return. The fantasy needs to be maintained impeccably. Mm-hm. Where has your friend gone? (BREATHES DEEPLY) Fun, fun, fourth round. Fun, fun, fourth round! (CLEARS THROAT) Where is Lior? He was just here. He went home. He was tired. Boring old Lior needed a little nap. I need you to step up in this round. Do you think you can? PIGSY: Don't be shy. Mate, I used to be shy and look at me now. -Learn to be like me. -Don't you want to stay here? -Yes! -It's not hard. -I'm sure if you picked up... -Pick up a pen! PIGSY: Start making the stripes on the page. SANDY: If you put it on parchment, I'm sure it will come back. I can't! (SIGHS) I don't know how to read the gods' language. I never learned. I thought it was stupid. (EERIE MUSIC) No one has come or gone through that door since we've been here. There's something out there. I need to see it. (CHEWS LOUDLY) What have they done to you? (BREATHES RAGGEDLY) Where's Pigsy? (BREATHES DEEPLY) MONICA AND SHAMAN: Where are you going? You need to win! Monkey. I'm leaving. I'm innocent. I need to go back and find him. -I need to know the truth. -Find who? TRIPITAKA: Sandy! Wake up! (GASPS) Not good. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) (SIZZLING) A message from the Shaman. The Breaking Ground's been breached. What are you doing? Stay here and protect this lot. I'll take care of it. Monkey? Monkey, wake up. - Where are we? - You were captured by demons. Oh, it's a prison. Where's Monica? Where's the tavern? You were being forced to translate. PIGSY: It was all in our minds. We were playing a game. Except Monkey, he wanted to leave. He wanted to... ...go back to find out the truth. Back where? You must play. You have to play. You have to be broken. MONICA AND SHAMAN: Come and sit down! Come and eat! You must have fun! Come back. Please! Come back. Don't go out there. (SIGHS) I don't take orders from a demon. You can go too deep into your own mind. There is a point of no return. Come back with me. There's much that can be offered to you, if you will help us. I don't think so. TRIPITAKA: Come back, please! We need you. The little monk knows the truth. I was trapped for 500 years. I will never be trapped again. TRIPITAKA: Monkey King, we have to go. Now! You are the Monkey King? The one and only. (DOOR RATTLES) (DOOR BOLT CLUNKS ONTO FLOOR) -PIGSY: Monkey! -SANDY: Is he...? Lock this down, Shaman. He's breathing. It's too late. TRIPITAKA: What did you do to him? He did it to himself. -SHAMAN: He would not listen. -Where is he? He's going into his past. (EERIE MUSIC) TRIPITAKA: I can get him back. I broke him out of a rock that held him for 500 years. I'll find a way. I will get him back. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.