* One, two, three... # Oh, the good life Full of fun # Seems to be the ideal # Yes, the good life # Lets you hide all the sadness you feel # You won't really fall in love # For you can't take the chance # So be honest with yourself # Don't try to fake romance # It's the good life # To be free and explore the unknown # Like the heartaches # When you learn You must taste them alone # Please remember I still want you # And in case you wonder why # Well, just wake up # And kiss that good life Goodbye # Hmm... Mm-hm. Uno, due, tre. Uno, due, tre. Hmm... Ichi, ni, san. Mm-hm. Mm... Hmm... Mm-hm. One, two, three. MAN: Well, congratulations! WOMAN: Excuse me? You're a guaranteed winner of one of three fabulous prizes! Have you ever won anything major before? No, never. Well, you have now. Yeah! Are you kidding? No, it's confirmed. Are you sure? What did I win? The Chevy Blazer or the Paris-- Do you have a water filtration system in your house? One of them faucet filters? Mm-hm. No, sir. Uh-uh. Do you read the papers or watch TV? Sometimes, yeah. Well, then you've probably seen our advertisements. Now, as I said, Irene, the government is going to make you pay a tax on the prize, but if you buy the Waterson 2000 water filtration system, the prize gets recorded as a sales expense, and you don't pay any tax. Good deal, huh? Yeah. Yes. And I get the trip-- You're guaranteed one of those three prizes. I'm going to have a courier come to your house, you're going to give him a cheque, he's going to come to me, and then we'll decide which one of those prizes you get. Do you see how that works? How much do I pay? $398 even. Oh. Oh my. You'd pay twice that in stores. I'll need to speak to my husband. Irene, my supervisor just stepped into my office, and he would love to talk to you. Can you hold just a sec? Good morning. Who says so? Irene Fisk. She wants to talk to her husband first. Mrs. Fisk... Uh, yes. Hello-- John Goodhew, Regional Vice-President. Congratulations! Which prize are you hoping for? Oh, Paris. Well, that would be my choice too. My associate tells me you have five grandkids? Wow! Now, I understand that you'd like to speak to your husband first about this, and I can understand why, but the thing is, my secretary is having a baby this afternoon. Everyone here in the office is about bug out and head over to the hospital. Well, that's wonderful! Let me confirm your address, so I can give it to our courier service. All right. Hey. Sorry. Any thoughts on lunch? Spicy calamari? Thai food? Mm-hm. Pygmies. (RINGS DOORBELL) (DOG BARKING) WOMAN: Otis, hush! Can I help you? Carolyn Schaffer? Yes? I'm Agent Kellaway. This is Agent Cole. We're from the Federal Trade Commission. Sorry to disturb you. We'd like to ask you a few questions. Is everything all right? We hope so, ma'am. Mrs. Schaffer, can you tell us exactly what the man said on the phone? He said that there'd been a contest, and I had won a prize, that there would be a drawing next week, and I would win either a Chevy Blazer, a diamond necklace, or a trip to Italy or France, I don't remember, and if I bought one of their products, their filtration things, I wouldn't have to pay the tax on the prize. Jesus, Carolyn... I wanted to surprise you. I'm sorry to tell you this, ma'am, but you won't be receiving any prize... and I'm sorry to tell you that you've been the victim of fraud. (DOG BARKING) Otis, knock it off! Well, it's not the newest swindle in the world, just new to some. They bait you with something bogus, then they sell you something worthless. How much did you give them? $700. What's it worth? At any hardware store, they're about 50 bucks. Jesus, Carolyn! But we've met people who've paid twice what you did. Really? Yeah. You write a cheque, ma'am? Did you mail it to him? No, a courier picked it up. (SNORTS) What? Well, if they'd used the postal system, then it's mail fraud, and we can go after them. Otherwise, there's not a lot we can do. Unless... Unless what? Well, a lot of these whack-jobs... they work in syndicates. If they'd cashed your cheque out of state, then it's federal, and we can act, but we would need a signed clearance from you for your bank to run a trace on the cheque` I will give you a clearance if it will catch these sons of bitches. You have any more L-47s? Yeah, maybe in the car. Oh, wait a second. Oh, here we go. Use my pen. I got one. Okay. (DOG BARKING) Would you let him out? Oh. Sorry. Sorry. Here you go, now. That's right. Sorry. All we need is... the name of your bank, your account number... your signature down below. With any luck, these guys were...amateurs... Is he all right? Yeah. Just sign it. ..cashed your cheque in Nevada... Sign right there, and you can date it. (SOFTLY GRUNTING) There you go. You all right? He's fine. Would you like a glass of water? Everything is fine. Let's go. Thank you for coming. Woo! Woo! You didn't take your pills, did you? Woo! They left their door open. It was bitchen! It's just an open door, Roy. (TICCING) Well, It's not a fortune, but it'll keep me in diapers... barely. One look at those drapes, man. I should have known. Saw that guy again last night. Chuck? Guy I was telling you about with the-- With the boat? Yeah, Frechette. Man, he's top heavy. Oh, Jesus Christ, Roy, what am I going to-- Don't say that. Don't say what? You know what. Just don't say it. That's real money, Roy. If it's real money, it's long con. I don't do long con. Well, you haven't done it lately. Without me, Frank. Okay. I'd like to be able to, you know, take a girl someplace nice once in a while-- You have to pay extra for that? Ha, ha, ha. Hi. Three, four, five, six, and... Eight packs of Tareyton. That's $36, out of $50. 37, 38, 39, 40 and 10 is 50. Thank you. Next. # This town # Is a lonely town (MECHANICAL BARKING) # Not the only town # Like-a this town # This town # Is a make-you town # Or a break-you town # And bring-you-down town # (MUSIC STOPS) (OWLS HOOTING) Uno, due, tre. Hmm... Hmm... Ah! Pygmies! Hmm... Yeah, Hi. This is Roy Waller calling for Dr. Mancuso. He moved. What? He doesn't live here anymore. What do you mean, moved? He's gone. He skipped town. You've got to be shitting me. Where did he go? He moved back East. What do you mean, back East? He owes me back rent, man. Get me a contact-- Hello? Hello? (DIAL TONE) If you'd like to make a call, please hang up and try again. (TELEPHONE RINGING) MACHINE VOICE: Hello? (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) Roy, it's me. It's Frankie. Come on, pick it up, buddy. I know it's tough, but come on. (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) (TELEPHONE RINGING) Hello? (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) LISPING: Roy, this is Dmitri. I met you at that club, Rage, the other night. I really liked your leather, and-- (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) All right, come on. come on. Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. Roy, come on, man! Come on! (TELEPHONE RINGING) Roy, it's lonely in this little office all by myself. Roy, come on. Roy... (BELCHES) I wouldn't bother you, but, well, I'm dying, Roy. It's my spleen. I can't-- I can't feel my thumbs. (MARIACHI MUSIC PLAYING) (TELEPHONE RINGING) MACHINE VOICE: Hello? (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) Roy, answer the phone, man. I've been watching Univision all night, and all they speak is Spanish. What's going on? Seriously, I want to talk to you, because I think I've developed a rash. Come on, man, you're killing me. Roy, come on, what the hell? I feel like a chick. All right, that's it. I'm coming over. (MACHINE BEEPS) Roy? All right. Okay, I see that. I saw you. I know you're there. Come on, Roy, come on, really, man. One, two, three. Take your shoes off. Why? Take your shoes off, or you don't come in. You didn't take your pills, did you? One, two-- I'm taking them off! All right, come on, man. I'm taking the shoes off. Give me a break over here. Okay. Jesus Christ! Oh, God, what is that smell? What, did you get attacked by Mr. Clean? Come on, Roy, you gotta open a window, buddy. ...two, three--No! No windows! Okay, windows are closed. Windows are closed. You looking for something, sucker? Yeah, my partner. Have you seen him? He's been missing most of the week. Tall, good-looking guy? Hey, would you watch the rug? You're spilling food-- You didn't take your shoes off! Okay, I'm taking the shoes off. Okay, buddy, I'm taking them off. See, they're off. The shoes are off, okay? There you go. Oh, man, you are bad. Did you take your pills? I spilled them down the drain by accident. Oh, Roy, come on, man. Did you call Mancuso? Moved. He moved? You got to be shitting me. That's what I said. Okay, here we go. Let's go, come on. It's okay, it's okay, it's okay. All right, I want you to breathe, okay? Just keep breathing. Breathe. Okay. Wh--shoes. Okay, okay, shoes are-- There you go. You got food... What? Okay, food. Food's gone. Food's gone. I'm picking up all the food, okay? Listen to me, Roy. You listening? I'm going to make a couple of calls. My aunt saw this shrink after her divorce. He really helped her. He's a good guy. Frank... Hey, hey, Roy, you need to see someone, okay? Don't think I'm doing this just for you. You got money. You can retire. I got car payments. I don't need a partner who's, like... (IMITATES TICCING) My heart goes out to you, but I gotta make some money. Would you wipe that thing off when you're done with it? Wipe the receiver. Just wipe it off. Okay, how's that? You like that? How's that? (RETCHING) Okay, I'm sorry. Okay, okay, okay. Oh. Do you mind if I put them up? It helps my back. Go ahead. Thanks. Well, you're something of a clean slate, Roy. I mean, this says you were on medication, but you don't know what kind. Yeah. Okay, good, yeah. They were these little pink tablets. I think it said "CRC" on them. Something like that. You were getting them illegally? Yes, I was getting them illegally. So what? Why? So I wouldn't have to talk to somebody like you. You know what they were? Yes, and at the dosage you've been taking, you're lucky to be sitting up straight-- That's great. Can you get me some more of them? You certainly get to the point. And you skirt it. So can you get me the pills or not? Yes. Well, then, let's get that prescription pad out! Usually I don't prescribe medicine unless I've had a chat with the patient first. If you're inclined against that, then the session will be quite brief. (CLOCK CHIMING) (CLOCK CHIMES 3:00) Would you like to tell me what's been bothering you? I don't like being outdoors, which I know is called agoraphobia, right? Incorrectly, but yes. Anything else? Dirt. Especially around mouldings. I don't like it when people put shoes on my carpet. Obviously, I have a lot of tics. I find that very frustrating, to say the least. Certain things distract me, make me feel sick to my stomach. So have these distractions affected your work of late? And your personal relationships? What personal relationships? When was the last time you were in one? With a woman? A long time ago. Five years? Ten years? Keep going, man. What was her name? Heather. Were you married? Uh-huh. Kids? Maybe. You haven't seen her since? Look, she left me with a black eye, which I gave her, and a bun in the oven which might have come from anyone, so no, I haven't. Look, doc, I spent last Tuesday watching fibres on my carpet, and the whole time I was watching my carpet, I was worrying that I might vomit, and the whole time I was thinking, "I'm a grown man, I should know what goes on in my head," and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that I should just.. blow my...brains out and end it all, but then I thought-- if I thought more about blowing my brains out, I started worrying about what that was going to do to my goddamn carpet! Okay, so... that was a good day, doc, and I just want you to give me some pills and let me get on with my life! Mm-hm. Roy? What? He just gave them to you? At the office? He said they were new. Prefex-something-or-other. You feel better? A little. You want to work some? Do you think you can control the, uh... What? Noth--Nothing. * "SUMMER WIND" BY FRANK SINATRA PLAYING What city, please? Woodland Hills, California. Name, sir? Fenton, Heather. Can you spell that? F-E-N-- # Came blowing in # From across the sea # It lingered there # To touch your hair # And walk with me # All summer long # We sang a song... # Hi. If that's you, then this is me. So leave a message after the beep. (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) Hello, this is-- Hello? # In the summer wind Well, we fought a lot. About what? What do you got? I wasn't sober a lot then. Are you now? So some nights, she just didn't come home. She was pregnant two months before she even told me about it. Yeah... Do you think about her much? You know, what could have been? What might have been? And the baby? If there's a baby. Do you think about that? Sometimes. Rarely. You know, like, if I see a school bus, or... I'll wonder, "Is one of those kids Roy Jr.?" He, if he's a he, would be how old now? He'd be...14. 14. Ready to be a man. Yeah. If he's a he. If he is at all. Congratulations. You bought yourself a week's worth. Thanks. Listen, doc. Do you know of a way... just to find out, you know... There's nothing wrong with a man telephoning his ex-wife. Yeah, well, I tried that last night, and I couldn't say a word, so... could you call her? I--I-- I don't know, Roy... Please. It's just to find out. I... Uh...now? No, when I-- After I'm gone. When you can. Okay. That's great. Thank you. So I'm going to see you on Tuesday? Well, I-- Why? I mean, I have the meds. Well, I guess that's your call. Okay. Take care. (OPENING AND CLOSING DOOR) Ichi, ni, sen. (EXHALES) (TELEPHONE RINGING) ELECTRONIC VOICE: Hello? Roy? This is Dr. Klein. I-- Hello? Hey, listen, I just got off the phone with Heather. We had a very nice conversation. Does she want to speak with me? Uh...No, she doesn't. She didn't understand it might help with your therapy. You told her I was in therapy? Uh, well, no, I told her I'm a psychiatrist. I can't lie, Roy. Angela wants to talk to you, though. Who? Angela. Your daughter. She knows you're her father, and she says she really wants to meet you. Hmm! (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) (SOFT POP MUSIC PLAYS) (SAXOPHONE MUSIC PLAYS) (STARTS ENGINE) (SHUTS ENGINE DOWN) Oh, shit. Hey... Angela? You Roy? Yeah. So you're 14? Yup. So when did you get out? What? Of prison. I've never been in prison. Oh. Did your mom tell you that? At first she told me you were dead. Then she said you might as well be. I'm not dead. I'm in antiques. Yeah, that's what the doctor said on the phone. When he said that, Mom started to laugh. You--You hungry? Do you mind eating? It's just I'd feel better somewhere indoors. I get uncomfortable sometimes being outside. Really? Yeah. (LAUGHS) You're staring. Oh, I'm sorry. It's okay. I used to do it too. Look at your pictures, see if I got your nose, or your eyes. Mom used to say I got lucky and only got your elbows. I thought you weren't hungry. You're going to get wet, might as well go swimming. So you're in school, right? Not now. It's summer. Oh, yeah, okay, that's right. School's real important. If I had anything to do over, I would have worked harder in school. You drop out? That how you ended up a criminal? WOMAN: I'll take it, Mike. Okay. It's okay, you know. Whatever you do. Everybody has done something bad in their life. Uh, I'm in antiques. If you make it a career, it's just a bunch of somethings strung together. Cut the shit. I'm not a criminal. I'm sorry. What? What was that word you used? "Shit?" Hey, that... You're not supposed to talk like that. Uh...hey, hey. I just-- I have things a certain way. Okay. Wait, wait, wait! That's her car in the driveway. You got to stop here! Stop! Maybe we could go bowling sometime. This is my private line. My mom got it for me for my birthday, because my friend Carrie kept calling after midnight. Here you go. Nice to meet you, Dad. Nice to meet you, Dad. Go. What's more important than family? And what could be more important than purifying the water that your family drinks? The Waterson 2000 offers you the cleanest filtration system available today. Mr. Schliken, can you hold on just one moment? Thank you. What? Huh? What's-- What's going on with you? You switch shampoos or something? Those pills working? Yeah...all right. Well, I'm glad one of us is happy. How much you think we can take that guy for? Chuck, with the boat. Oh...You serious? I figure I owe you one. Oh, man, that's great. Mr. Schlick-licker? Hi. I'm sorry. Beep! You waited too long. No prize for you. That's awesome, man. Sorry. Sorry, sorry, sorry... * Where did you find him? Spearmint Rhino. Watched him drop a couple of G's there a month ago. Spearmint Rhino... That's a gentlemen's-- I know what it is. It's right here. What does he do? Import-export. What's his last name? Frechette. Chuck Frechette. How do you spell that? F-R... I don't know. He's from Downey. He's not connected, is he? No, no, no, no. He and the mob, they're like this... Son of a bitch didn't even tip. I figure on short notice, he could scratch up 30 grand. More. We'll pull the Jamaican switch on him. He knows you, so you're rope. I'm inside. You think he knows anything about international finance? Are you whispering? Why you whispering? I am? Hi. Safety deposit box, please. Sure. (BUZZES SECURITY ENTRANCE) Hi. I'd like access to my safety deposit box. 366, please. Certainly, Mr. Waller. Signature and pass code, please. Would you like a booth? Oh, no, thanks. I'll be fine. When it's sterling versus dollars... Nah. For some people money is... Money is a foreign film without subtitles. (TELEPHONE RINGING) Hello? Frank. Where you want to meet, sexy? Where else? The Rhino. One hour. You don't want to get there early? (DOORBELL RINGS) I gotta go! (DOORBELL RINGING REPEATEDLY) Uno, due, tre. Remember me? You just in the neighbourhood? Took the bus. Think I could come in a sec? Nice! One, two, three. It's nice, your place. Oh, could you watch the carpet, please? Oh. Sorry. Um! Mm! Could you please take your shoes off? Oh yeah, sorry. So, what's going on? Mom and I had sort of a fight. Happens once in a while. I usually take off for a day or two to let her calm down. Take off? Normally I go to Carrie's, only her family's on vacation, and I thought since we seemed to hit it off so well last time, I could, um... I could sleep on your couch? You want to stay here? Well, I could pay you back by cleaning up... or something. Uh...Well-- Do you wear those to read? Your glasses? What? They make you look kind of old. Oh. No, these are for... I gotta go. I got a big business meeting. This late? Antiques. They wait for no man. Is it--Is it all right if I leave you here alone? Uh, sure. I can just watch TV. You don't have a TV? Well, um... Seriously? You don't have a TV? There's a couch, if you want to sit... Or over there, if you prefer. Or the couch. Do you want me to, um, pick you up something on the way back? Like, what is it, ice cream, right? Sure, um... New York Super Fudge Chunk. That's my favourite flavour. New York... Super Fudge Chunk. Ah, chocolate. Yeah. Okay, now, listen. Don't. Don't open the door for anybody, all right? Okay. One, two, three. (LAUGHS) All right! (HERB ALPERT AND THE TIJUANA BRASS PLAYING) Wow. (KID ROCK'S "COWBOY" PLAYING) All right! Bob, it's good to see you. Arden, hope I didn't keep you. Over there. He missed you coming in. What? Over there. He missed you coming in. Hey, Kate! Can I get a beer? A Heine? Sure. Thanks. That do the trick? Let's sit. I told you you'd like it here. Ah, you're so cute. (MECHANICAL GROWLING) (MECHANICAL BARKING) No way! WAITRESS: Here you go, sweetie. Whoo! Love them shoes, girl. Thank you, baby. Hey, Bob! Hey, Chuck, I didn't know you were here. Hey, uh, Chuck Frechette, this is Arden-- Hiya. Um... Hey, uh... I'm doing a little business here. You mind if we have a little... Oh, yeah. Sure, Bob. I didn't mean to-- Sorry. I'll be over-- Nice meeting you. I'll be over here. Thanks, man. Great. That's fish in a barrel. He's piqued. You good to go? Does the Pope poo in the woods? Just say yes, okay? I'll see you, Bob. I'll see you in the morning, Arden. Hi. Hi. Oh. Big night planned. Oh. It's not for me. Right. That's $12.73. Okay. Out of $15? Let's see, 13, 14, 15. You got kids overnight? (CAR ALARM BEEPS) Roy... why did Mom leave you? Well, you'd have to ask her that. I did. She said she didn't want to talk about it. Called you names. That's why we got in a fight. She said you were a bad guy. You don't seem like a bad guy. That's what makes me good at it. Well, I don't think you're a bad guy. Good night. Night. * (SCREAMS) Somebody's in here! I think it's disrespectful. I just think it's disrespectful. Hey. Come on. One, two, three. I wish you could've been there. I reeled him in. Shh! Hallelujah! You got a chick in there? What are you doing? What are you doing? What's the hubbub? The second you left the place, he was off his barstool. He's in, man. He's in! He wants to meet tonight. All right. Push it till tomorrow. Let his greed meet his imagination. Morning. Good morning. Uh, I made you eggs. Mm...that's okay. So who was that guy who came by earlier? Uh, business associate. What was his name? Frank. How come you didn't want him to see me? It's not that I don't want him to see you, it's just-- Don't you think you should eat eggs for breakfast? Something healthy. I don't like eggs. Anyways, all you've got here is tuna, lots and lots of tuna, and one TV dinner. TV dinners are cool. You should get the TV to go with them. I like tuna fish. (DIALLING PHONE) Hi, Mom. I know. I know! So what if I am? So? He's my father. I don't care. I don't care! Well, I will if I want! Mom... I know. Okay, I promise. Okay, bye. She mad? At me, not you. Oh. She said she was going to call the police. Oh, God. Oh, God. But now she just wants me home for summer school. Oh. When's that start? Monday. Today's Thursday. That's okay, isn't it? Uh... Uh... Uh...W... Three, four. (EXHALING) Good, very good. You've got stains on your carpet. Is that all you were thinking about, stains on my carpet? You can sit up. Okay. Yeah, carpet stains, and that I have a 14-year-old girl I barely know living in my house. Trust me, they're not so difficult, kids. You have to make sure they eat their vegetables, don't stay up too late, don't watch too much TV. Otherwise, just try to be as honest and open with them as possible. As honest and open with them as possible... All right? Right. WOMAN ON P.A.: I need a cheque okay on three. Manager for a cheque okay on three, please. The line for that one's shorter. No, this one's better. We need a price check on a five-pound bag of red delicious. Dad, hurry! Pygmies! We're making spaghetti. Yeah, happy times. Happy times. (BOBBY DARIN'S "BEYOND THE SEA" PLAYING) Here it comes. You know, the chefs in Italy say you can tell when the spaghetti's ready if you throw it, and it sticks. Voila. Beer. Yay! Uh... Cheers. Uh... Uh... I don't know. Uh... (OPERA MUSIC PLAYING) There it is. No sauce to go over it? It's spaghetti Alio Olio! And it's got basil leaves in it. See the leaves? Enjoy it. Gross! (DOORBELL RINGS) Hi. Walters? Waller. Keep the change. # 'Cause it's all right It's okay I'm happy now. # If this is The worst thing to come along # (SHOWER RUNNING) You sure you don't want something? Thanks, I gotta fly in two hours. Where you off to? Phoenix. A client's setting up a funding account to bridge the pound and the Euro, and I've got to hold his hand. Would you please heat this up a little? That bad, huh? Thank you. Yeah, for some folks, money's a foreign film without subtitles. Anyway, to the business at hand. To the business at hand. I have one rule, Chuck. Simple is safe. I'm going to tell you as little as possible about me and what I do, but as much as I need to to make you comfortable with what we're doing. What are we doing? 5000 pounds sterling. One of the perks of working in the exchange program in a bank. Whose is it? No one's in particular. Just a little money unaccounted for, floating on top of the books like a layer of cream. And he just scoops it off. Well, it's a little more... Bob! It's a little more complicated than that, but again, simple is safe. Why not keep the money yourself? As a bank employee, any attempt I make to change currency is recorded and questioned. Bob has a...has a record. You, on the other hand, no one bats an eye. Now, I hope you have something for me. Five grand, American. Congratulations. At today's exchange rate, you just made-- $2,567. Looked it up on the Internet. He's fast. That Internet thing, it's a fad. I can't figure it out. Neither can I, but my daughter's a wiz at it. What, you have a daughter? Two. 15 and 12. Wonderful, I have a 14-year-old. It's a riot, huh? Little training bras hanging from the shower rods. Yeah, and everything smells like gum. How do you get them out of the house? Summer is the worst. It's the worst. Oh, yeah? It's crazy. It's wild. He sounds just like him. Let me ask you something. How much could you do this for? Hypothetically. We never go north of 10. How much could you get your hands on? A lot. All right... Put it there. Let's play ball. Chucky, baby, give me some sugar. Uh, yeah. See you later? Peace. Two fingers. Peace? Asshole. Didn't tip him? Tickets, please? Yeah, he's a jackass. See you, jackass. Man, I thought we were out two grand there for a second. You've got to spend money if you want to make money. Yeah, but you've gotta make it to spend it, brother. Everything smells like gum? What was that about? It's easier if I show you. Angela! Angela, I'm back. Angela, Frank's here! Hey... (SNAPPING FINGERS) Angela... She's not here. She must have gone back to her mom's. This teenybopper Hillary says, "I am single, baby." Where does she usually go? I don't know. This is no good, Roy. It's no good for you. It's no good for us. It's got nothing to do with us. (SNAPS FINGERS) Hey! Huh? Pygmies. Yeah. This is bad news, man. You don't have to put it like that. * (SWITCHES LIGHTS ON AND OFF) (DOOR SLIDES OPEN) Where have you been? Nowhere. Okay, where'd you go? I just went out I just went to the arcade. It's, like, a half a mile away. It's stuffy in here. This place smells like Lysol. Where the hell were you! I want to know right now, or I'm calling your mother! I just told you. I went to the arcade. What--Why did you sneak back in? That's--That's how I left. I don't have the keys to lock the door. Oh, so you didn't see my car? Jeez, you're worse than Mom. Angela, listen, I'm glad I met you, I'm glad we met, I really am, but I've got a business, and I've got a partner, and I've got things a certain way, and that's it! So, you know, I think it'd be better... for you, most of all, if tomorrow morning I took you back home. What did I do wrong? You didn't do anything wrong. I just went out! God, I didn't even-- I didn't drink, I didn't get high! I didn't take any money from your stupid dog! So, what, you never heard of a bank? Uh... Uh...that is wrong what you did, and... you're a Nosy Parker, and that's no way for a young lady to behave, and... Shame on you! (MECHANICAL BARKING) Angela... Sweetheart? Angela, I wasn't kicking you out. I don't want to stay where I'm not wanted! It's not that I don't want you. Fooled me. Will you stop? Don't! Let me go! You just don't want me going home to Mom saying she was right all along! Shh... Stop! You're just like one of her boyfriends! I'm something you have to deal with in order to screw her! Angela, please, you know that's not true. Even they tell me what they do for a living! Oh, yeah, antiques dealers always keep large stacks of cash in their homes, right next to their guns. Okay. Okay, all right? I'm sorry. It's just... I'm not-- I'm not very good at being a dad, okay? You know? All right? I'm just-- I barely-- I barely get by being me. Come on, sweetheart, please? Don't! Come on back home with me, we can get a big pizza again, and you can stay the whole weekend if you want, all right? Why do you have a gun? In case. In case what? It's--It's hard to explain. (DOORBELL RINGS) (WHISTLES) Waller. Keep the change. Bullshit! Nope. No bullshit, and watch your language at the table. - You're a con man? - Con artist. A flimflam man, matchstick man, loser. Whatever you want to call it. And that guy, Frank? He's my partner. My, um...protege. Teach me something. What? Teach me something, a con. You're funny. No, come on, really. Teach me something. I'm not teaching you anything. Why not? Because you're a bright, innocent, beautiful girl, and I'm not going to screw that up like everything else. Really? What? You think that? That I'm beautiful? No. Then why won't you? Because crime doesn't pay? No, it does. It does. Just not very well. Well, you seem to be doing okay by it. I'm not. Believe me, it's no fun doing what I do. A lot of the time, it's stealing from people who don't deserve it. Old people, fat people. Lonely. A lot of the time I feel sick about it. Then why do you do it? I'm not as innocent as you think, you know. I've done stuff with boys. I've done stuff with boys, if I told you, you'd probably throw up right here. Then don't tell me. Well, then teach me something! No! Final. At the Christmas dance last year, I went with this boy, Josh Ward. He's cute, and I really really liked him-- I'm not listening. After the dance, we went to Carrie's, and we went upstairs... (HUMMING LOUDLY) and he pushed me up against the bed... I'm not listening! ...and he took his hand-- No! All right. Okay. I'll show you-- I'll show you one thing! (SCREAMING GLEEFULLY) Thank you, thank you! All right. Okay. Thank you! But you're never going to do it again, and you're going to forget it, agreed? (SCREAMING) (SPITS) Oh, man. Rule number one, never work near where you live. Don't shit where... Rule number two, don't write anything down. All right.I want you to stay in the car, okay? Hey, would you stay in the car? (WHISTLING) (ENTRANCE CHIME) I'd like to play this for the drawing on the 22nd. Hey... You know the odds of the same numbers hitting in the same month? The same numbers hitting ever? Well, that's why I changed one. You're wasting your dollar. Hey... You his financial adviser? No. You're a cashier at a convenience store. Take his dollar and give him a ticket for the 22nd. You're ready for this. I was born ready. Whew. Glad I missed that day. Okay, the most important thing you have to understand about this game is 90% of it is variable. No matter how good your plan is, you almost always get thrown a curve ball, so you've got to be flexible, prepared to roll with anything-- I'll do it. Just the two. The one thing you can control, though, is who your mark is. Now, never play somebody who isn't buying what you're selling. You're thinking, "Daddy, Daddy, what am I selling?" Well, what you're selling is you. The older the better, but beware of couples. You don't want anyone whispering in your mark's ear but you, and for God's sake, make sure the person you're conning isn't conning you. That's good. All right, good. Let's go kick some butt. This taken? No. You sure? You've got a lot. (LAUGHS) This is nothing. You ought to catch me during Little League season. Three boys. Any of them cute? Any of them cute? Uh-huh. Simon's about your age, but you'd never guess. He's so hyper. I'm gonna get get a soda. Do you want anything? No, thanks, honey. Oh, honey? You dropped something. - Hmm. Not mine. - You sure? You've got to be 18 to play. Looks like somebody put it through the wash by accident. It's yesterday's drawing. That looks like the second, don't you think? Probably a loser. Yeah. We should at least see if it hit. Excuse me, sir. Can we borrow your paper for a sec? We're just looking for lottery results. Yeah, okay. It's "Metro," isn't it? Here. Thanks. Yeah. Let's see. Yup, there it is. Okay, ready? Yep. Six, 18, 30, 49-- Wait, wait, wait, six, 18, what? Sorry. 30, 49, 60. Missed by one. Oh, you're joking! Story of my life. Mine too. Any luck? Four out of five. Can you believe that? Four out of five? Four out of five pays. It does? Sure, yeah. Call the number on the back of the ticket. Well, thanks! Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Well, thank you. Thank you very much. What did they say? We won $600. Holy shit! Couple of winners. The woman on the phone said that all we have to do is take it down for verification, and they'll mail me a cheque. In fact, we should call your mom, and we can all go down together. You know, it's okay, I'm supposed to be home anyway. No, no, no, we're in this 50-50. Uh... Good girl. Watch the cameras. That's it. $300. Don't spend it all at the coin-op. Hide it when you get home. Bye! Did I do good? You did-- You did very good. Very, very, very good. See? Mom was wrong. I didn't just get your elbows. Yeah. Well... There's one last thing. There's one last thing. What? I want you to give her the money back. What? Look, I told you that I would teach you a con, I didn't say I'd let you get away with it. What am I-- What am I supposed to say? Well, judging by that last performance, I'm sure you'll think of something. This is so... Angela, I would not be a responsible father if I let you get away with this. Let's go! I mean, it's strange. Two weeks ago, this was ancient history. Now, all of a sudden I have a daughter! And I'm not scared shitless. That's good, isn't it? It's however you feel about it. It's however you feel about it. Yeah. Yes, it's wonderful. Don't take this too literally, but you've been closing doors for a long time. It's good to see you start opening some again. What? I... Well, I took Angela along with me over the weekend, selling a piece, and, uh-- well, sometimes in my business, you have to create a value for something which really isn't there. and, uh, well, you know, some people call it sales... but other people call it... Lying. Right. Which is a little... I wasn't sure how Angela was going to go for it, but she took right to it. Like a duck to water. She even helped out, you know, this 14-year-old-girl... working these people with me. Working them, doc. Do you regret it? Exposing her to that? Her seeing that side of you? Well, you know, it was a little-- It was just-- It made me feel a little-- You know, I was a little-- I really liked it. I really did. It was the best time we've had together. * Fabulous cup trick. Fabulous cup trick. You like that? He wants to fly the money straight to the Caymans. Afraid he might get robbed. As if somebody would do that. When's his flight? When's his flight? Friday. What do you think? About what, the hat? It's a little Dwight Yoakam, don't you think? Yeah, but-- Yeah, but-- You're calling attention to yourself. Chicks dig it. So where do you think? Where do you want to do it? There. I'm here. He sits there. Back to the bar. Back to the bar. It's important. Otherwise, we blow it off. Okay. Who's it going to be? Ernie. Hobo Ernie? Yeah, Homeless Ernie. He's a little--a little over the top, isn't he? Hey, for 50 bucks, you know, it's a hell of a bargain. Okay, okay. There's only one problem. What? I think I'm in love with you. We're going to be rich Do not do that, okay? That's embarrassing. Just stop. Does it turn you on? No, it does not turn me on. Stop. Can you not... Here you go. Where's that cute little girl of yours? Uh, she went home to her mom's. Summer school. She's a cute one. It must be lonesome without her. I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you tomorrow. Okay. Hi. It's Kathy, right? Yeah. Right. I'm Roy. I'm Roy. Hi, Roy. Hi. How are you? WOMAN: I'm doing all right. Hi, Dad, it's me. I just wanted to say hi. Summer school sort of sucks. Well, it's okay-- So I get out at noon Wednesday. I'll meet you out in front if you want. Okay. Bye. Hi, Dad, it's me. I just wanted to say hi... # I'm leaning on a lamp # Maybe you think I look a tramp # Or you may think I'm hanging round # To steal a car # But, no, I'm not a crook # And if you think that's what I look # I'll tell you why I'm here # And what my motives are # I'm leaning on a lamppost at the corner of the street-- # (KNOCKING) Hey. Pervert. Get in the car. What would you like to do today, little girl? Mom wants me home by dinner. You'll be back by dinner. What would you like to do? Hmm... What? Uh-oh. What? (EXCITED SCREAM) ("MORE THAN THIS" BY ROXY MUSIC PLAYING) I own you. Oh yeah? We'll just have to see about that. Let me show you a little something I learned in Taiwan. Okay. What? Dad... Dad... Uh-huh? The first thing you need to understand about this game is... 90% of it is knocking down at least one pin. Oh, is that right? Is that right? (PAGER BEEPING) Oh, not now! You want me to bowl for you? Yeah, I'll just be a couple of minutes. You going to be all right? Yeah. All right. This better be pretty important. I'm with my daughter. Good news, bad news. He bumped it up. We gotta do it today. I thought it wasn't till Friday. I thought it was Friday too, but he changed it. Well, tell him! What am I going to tell him? We can't postpone it. He's leaving for the Caymans for a month. We've got to do it now, or we're gonna lose him. There's no time. I've got to get the money, I gotta change, I gotta get Ernie. I know, I know, I know, but we got no choice. What time's his flight? (STATIC DISTORTION): Roy? Roy? Shit. Your turn. I'm sorry, I gotta take you home. I can't. I just can't do this. There's no time. I can't even take you home. Do you want me to take the bus? No. No. Shit. Is it a job? Can I help? Get in. I thought you said you kept your money in the dog. That's just my piggy bank. Now, I want you to wait here. Hi. Safety deposit box, please. Hi. Safety deposit box, please. Of course. (DOOR BUZZES) I'd like to access safety deposit box 366. Signature and pass code, please. Why can't I see? Because it's secret. Then why does she get to? Can I add an access signature to my account, please? Oh, certainly. Sign here and here. Do it. So now can I get into the whatever-it-is? No, you don't have the pass code. Well, when do I get that? You know, when I'm dead. Now, you wait here. I mean it. Booth? No. No! No booth. So how much is in there? I told you. No, in there. $300,000? $500,000? A million? Oh, my God! How did you get that money? I've been doing this a long time. Why don't you... Why don't you go live in Hawaii? Why don't you go buy Hawaii? I told you, I don't like the outdoors. You know what to do? Mm-hm. Just keep real far away from us. Anything goes off, you get out of there. Yeah. Would you hand me a gold wedding ring, sweetheart. Thank you. These still make me look old? Old and rich. Okay, you remember your cue, right? That's your cue. Then you enter. I know. Okay. Okay, let's do this. And just in case, take this, will you-- Stop worrying about me. I'm barely even doing anything. I went out with her, but afterward I was pretty toasted. Does she have any sisters? Does she have any sisters? I don't know. Hey. Hey... Arden, are you okay? It's my back. I strained it last night. Oh, man, I told you, you gotta do yoga. I was doing yoga. Do you mind if I sit there? The high back helps. Not at all. Oh! Oh, Lord. How are both of you? Fabulous. So who goes first? I suppose ladies do. The Queen before Ben Franklin. The Queen before Ben Franklin. Oh. That's 80,000? That's 80,000? Yeah. It looks like a lot less than I thought. It always does. It always does... Sorry. I had to check. As long as you don't mind. No. No. Do your worst. You count it? Gentlemen, looks like we have a trade. God bless America. Land that I love. Enjoy the Caymans, and don't get too much sun. Look, I'm 21! My ID is in my luggage! My plane doesn't leave for another 30 minutes. Give me a goddamn beer! You touch me, I'll break every glass in this place! Hey, airport bartender! I hope she's not on my flight. Speaking of which, it's about that time. So...who goes first? You do. You just get up and take your new briefcase with you, and when I leave, I'll take my new gym bag. Simple is safe. Simple is safe. Guys. Have a safe flight. Have a safe flight. Why, thank you. Take care, Chuck. Let's do this again sometime, huh? You have my word on that. Go with him. Walk him to the plane. Walk him to the plane. To the what? Walk him to the plane! They won't let you through the security check. Then walk him to the security check. Now! Go! Now! * - (SCREAMS) - (YELLS) (LAUGHING) Did you see that old chick at the bar with all the make-up? Yeah, I saw her. She almost died when I threw that glass. So, what happened? You take him? So, what happened? You take him? Yup. The whole 80? The whole 80? Mm-hm. Whoo! My dad's a smooth operator! Dad, I thought about it. We should give the money back. I'd feel better. Just kidding. Do I get a cut? Ask Frank for his. Dad! Dad! (HONKING AND SCREAMING) Get out of there! Get out of the car! What are you doing? You stinking little runt! Give me my money! Give me my money! Roll up the window! (HONKING AND TYRES SQUEALING) (SCREAMING) Get down! Roll up the window! Give me my money! You piece of shit! Goddamn it! In this situation, it's very important to remain calm. I'm sorry. Which one? The middle one! Or this one. That one! That one! Come on! Come on! Whoa. DRIVER: Can I get a receipt for that? Okay, I can get you a receipt. I bought a hamburger, I saved the receipt. For a hamburger? I'm saving them for everything. Come on! I understand that, sir. Just breathe. Breathe You save that tax. Have a great day sir. Thank you very much. Here. You can keep the change, all right? We're not allowed to accept gratuity. It's not a gratuity, it's kindness. Thank you for being kind, sir, but we're not allowed. Please take the change. Let's go, let's go, come on! Five, six, seven, eight-- Hurry, he's coming! Here he comes! 10, 11, 12... He's coming! Are you out of your mind? Excuse me! Stay in the car. What? What? What? What's wrong? Stay in the car! Hi, cutie pie. (TURNS RADIO ON LOUD) # How sweet it is to be loved-- Where'd you get the--? What did you do? What did you do! I told you-- I told you, I-- I said walk him to the plane! Did you walk him to the plane? I told you, you can't get to the gate without a ticket! Did you see him go through security? (CHANGES RADIO STATION TO RAP) My daughter was there today! I'm not the one who pimped her. What? I'm not the one who pimped her into the fucking grift, and don't tell me I'm the one who put her at risk. She put us at risk! She put us at risk! How? What if he goes to the cops? They never do. They never do. What if he does? Then he'd have to explain what he's doing with a briefcase with $80,000 cash in it and a ticket to the Caymans, okay? We're not on the books. We're safe. I know we are. What about her? Angela's never been arrested, all right? Hey, you don't know that. You don't know that. All right, tell him, Angela, let's get this over with. Tell him you're clean. You've never been arrested, have you? Oh, that's terrific. That's great. That's beautiful. Frank... Here's the money. Give me a call. Jesus Christ. (CAR STARTING) You're 14! You're 14! When did you have time to get arrested? I forgot to pay for a pack of gum once. That's it. Oh. Oh, so they called the cops on you over a pack of gum? And some other stuff. I might have put up a fuss when security... Angela! The guard was groping me. He was grabbing at my chest. What was I supposed to do? How long ago? How long ago? Last year. They photographed you? They printed you? Move your leg. You know, I have all of August off. I was thinking I could come visit you. We could take a trip, even. Oh, and in September is fathers' visiting day at school. It's kind of lame, but-- Yeah, I'm gonna be gone for the next couple of months. Frank and I have some out-of-town work, so... When do you think you'll be back? When do you think you'll be back? I don't know, actually. Maybe when you get back-- Maybe when you get back-- Okay, look. Look. You're getting in the way, okay? Uh, you know, F--F-- Frank and I are partners, you know, and he says you're gone, so--so...you're gone, all right? I thought maybe it could work out, but it can't! It doesn't! All right. Come on. All right. Come on. I feel sick. Just get out of the car. Come on, let's go, let's go. Come on. Go. I don't want to go. I don't want to go. Go. Angela, move. Get out of the car. Come on. Your mother's gonna be waiting for you. Let's go. Come on. Go! And don't ever call me again, okay? Don't! What's that? Huh? What's that! I got it for you at the airport. I paid for it. Why did you even call me? Okay, Angela, I'm sorry. Why did you? Angie, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Okay, come on. Come on back in the car. Come on. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry. You're not a bad guy, you know, you're just not a very good one. * (TELEPHONE RINGING) Hello? (ANSWERING MACHINE BEEPS) Hey, Roy, pick it up. Pick it up. Hello. You all right? Yeah, what's it look like? You hungry? No. You want to meet? We still got Chuck's money to split. What time is it? It's almost 3:00. You taking your pills? Can you hold on a second? Hmm. Mm-hm. Hmm. Mm... Hmm... Pygmies! (VOCAL TICCING) Roy? Medical Group. Uh, yes. Mm-- Dr.--Mm--Klein, please. I'm sorry, Dr. Klein is unavailable. Dr. Wiley is on call if you'd like me to page him. Well, that's very good, but actually, I got to talk to Klein. Is there a way that I could get a hold of him? I'm sorry, Dr. Klein is gone for the weekend. Uh, um... where did he go? Okay, look, look, listen, I need a new thing of pills, and, uh... Actually, are you--Mm! Mm! are you at his office now? I'm sorry, sir, the office is closed. (TELEPHONE BEEPING) Oh, shit! Sorry, no. My phone is dying. Yes, sir. If this is a medical emergency, I suggest you contact your local hospital or call 911. Is there a way you can help me help you help me, so that I can get in his office? (TELEPHONE BEEPING RAPIDLY) (TYRES SCREECHING, CARS HONKING) Don't forget to drink plenty of water with that. Thank you. Excuse me. Hi. Excuse me. Hi. I'll be right with you, sir. Whoo! Hi. I need a refill of this. I don't have a prescription-- Sir, please wait your turn. I know, but this is an emergency. Hey, buddy, ever heard of a line? Hey, you ever been dragged to the sidewalk and beaten until you... pissed blood! Listen, I'm sorry, I really need-- Sir? Thank you. Yes. Thank you. Yeah, I--I--I-- I need a refill of this. Do you have a prescription? Well, no, but see, my doctor, my shrink, he gave me these, and they're samples of-- Darn it! I can't remember the name. It's--Oh! Prefex Prefex something. I'm sorry, but without a prescription, there's nothing I can do. Okay, but I have the packet. Sir, sir-- Sir, sir-- So I'm clearly--Mm! Mm! allowed to have them. I just need four or five to cover me over the weekend. Let me see it. Thank you, and I am sorry, sir. These are supplements. These are supplements. What? This packet contained supplements, sir. No. No. No. My doctor gave those to me. They're Prefex. They're supplements, sir. Bullshit, man! Prefex! Supplifem. Supplifem. Prefex! Aisle four, sir. Aisle four, sir. Prefex! Did you call security? Did you give me this? Mm! Yes. Yes. Why?! Because you don't need medication. Look at me. I'm a-- Mm! Mm!--mess. Agreed. But you weren't a mess last week, and you weren't on Prefexall then, either. I have news for you, Roy. Your neurosis is small-time. Small-time? What are you, a fucking quack? Your conscience is another story. Let me ask you a question. What would you do if you had to change careers? What, if I wasn't... an antiques broker? If you weren't a criminal. Hmm! That's an 18th century Queen Anne footstool I've had my feet on, Roy. I've had computer programmers tell me what a nice piece it is. I'm not a criminal. Mm! I'm a con artist. The difference being? They give me--Mm!--their money. Well, that's a nice rationalization. I never took anybody who didn't let me out of greed-- Mm! Whoo!--or weakness... and I never...used violence. Would you say, then, you set an example in your trade? You bet I do! Mm! But now you have to set an example for someone else. How is she? Angela... She's fine. She went back to her mom's. Have you spoken to her? Why not? Do we have to talk about this? Why haven't you spoken? Because...she hates me. Why do you think she hates you? Because... Be... Because I screwed it up. Oh, God... I lost my little girl. (SOBBING) I lost my little girl. I'm happy to-- I went to see a lawyer. He specializes in custody suits. That sort of thing. Like when one parent wants to get joint custody of the child. There are things you have to do, file some paperwork, blood tests, go before a judge. It would only be for weekends and some holidays to start, but I'd have to make a lot of changes. For one thing, I'd have to stop... doing what I do for a living. Honey, I'm sorry. I should have asked you first. Will you try? Please? Yes, I'll try...honey. I'll try. # Danke Schoen, darling Danke Schoen # Thank you for all the joy and pain When? As of now. Well, you got to do what you got to do. I'm sorry to lose you. You don't want the 40 G's? Keep it. Consider it a parting gift. We should part more often. Did I tell you I love you? Yeah, I love you back. Kampai. Kampai. One of these days, I'm going to get you drunk. (SALSA MUSIC PLAYING) You know, I think I should tell your mom about this. Let her know what I'm doing. Let her know what I'm doing. Your funeral. I know, but I think she should-- she should hear it from me. What do you think? Um. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm excited about this. Hey, we could get a dog. Either a German shepherd or a Lab. They're messy, aren't they? Well, we could train it. We could name it Frank. That's a good name. Senorita. That's nice. Senorita... For you, senorita. Thank you. Let's dance. (LAUGHING) Hola. Mi casa es su casa. What is it, "My house is your house" Si, si, si, si, senorita, si, si-- Frank! Get back. Hello, Roy. Hi, sunshine. Go--Go wait in your room, honey. Let her stay. She's in this as much as you are. It's Angela, right? Your mug shot doesn't do you justice. You want to sit down? If you--Mm!--come anywhere-- Mm!--near her-- Don't play tough, Roy. I'm in your home. Roy... I'm sorry, man. Oh...Oh... How'd you...find me? I didn't. I found her. In black and white. Airport security cameras, Roy. They got a nice look at her. That was sloppy. There were no cameras in the lounge. No. They were in the gift shop. In my business, it pays to have a few friends on the force. Your little girl's in their books. Your ex-wife doesn't know well enough not to give out your home address. We only hurt the ones we love, huh? You look white as a ghost, Roy. I don't want you to pass out before you make your first payment, but first let's have back the money you took from me. I don't have it. Start with what you do have! Uh...uh...$4000, maybe. Where? The dog. Stop! Let her get it. You stay here with me. It's okay, honey, go. Run, Angela! Run! You run, and Daddy's dead. Okay. Okay. (MECHANICAL BARKING) Next. I get half of whatever you make from now on. If not, I call my cop friends and your girl goes to juvie till she's 18. No, uh--uh--uh, I'm out. I'm done with this. You're not done, Roy. You haven't even gotten your feet wet. Frank's not done, are you, Frank? You done, Frank? He's not done. (GUN COCKING) Angela, no. Put the gun down, sweetheart. Shoot him. Angela, okay, Angela. Hey, hey, hey. Put it down, sweetheart. I'll take care of this. I want you to go. Know how to use that thing? Don't make it worse! Shoot him! Dad... (GUNSHOT) It's okay. Okay. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, God. (CRYING) Oh, God. Aw, shit, Roy. He ain't going to make it. Okay, okay, okay, okay. You know where the Seven Palms Motel is? At the 15? At the 15? Get a room there. A ground floor if you have to go out the back, and you wait there for me. What if you don't show? Just take her to her mother's, and drive south and never come back. What are you going to do? Well, I've got to take him to the hospital. Angela, sweetheart. Listen to me, listen. Frank's going to get you out of here, all right? He's going to get you out of here, and I will see you in a day or two, okay? Now, everything's going to be all right, honey, I promise. Dad, I was just trying to... I know. I know. Listen to me. Shh. Listen to me. I know. I know. You didn't shoot him, all right? Do you understand? I shot him. I did. Isn't that right, Frank? That's right, Roy. All right, so you just sit tight, honey... and I want you to know that... that I'm sorry. I'm sorry I let you down. Okay, Frank... You go, okay? Okay. Okay. I'm serious. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, man. Okay. All right. I'm really sorry. * You're okay, man. He's okay. Morning, Roy. How do you feel? Ooh... Take it slow, will you? I'm Detective Bishop. This is Detective Holt. The doctor will be in in a second. You were given a pretty close haircut the other night, Roy. Bad concussion. You got lucky, Roy. I wish we could say the same for Chuck. Am I under arrest? Well, you have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and may be, blah, blah, blah. I heard it all. Roy, where's Frank? Who? Frank Mercer, your partner? We've been spending some time over at your place and his. There's not a lot we don't know. I like your place better. Clean. Where is he? Okay. Then how about this? Where's Angela? Huh? Because she's not... 415 Chester Avenue. Her mother's near hysterical. I shot him. I shot Chuck. You sure about that? Because Chucky? He didn't make it. We found him face-down in your driveway. It's not good, but I'm telling you, it could still get a lot worse. Alas... the print we took off your .38 was just a little small. So, where is she? I want to see my doctor. Now, he said the doctor will be here in a second. No, my doctor, my shrink. You let me see him, and I'll tell you everything you want to know. What's his number? Hello, Roy. Hey, doc. Hi. Can we have a little, uh... privacy? That's not the way it works, Roy. Don't I have doctor-patient privileges, rights, something? Technically, he's right. That refers to testimony you might give based on confidential information. There's no privilege says I've gotta leave you two alone. Well, there is if you want what I know. Five minutes. Roy, what happened? They told-- Roy, what happened? They told-- Shh... Angela is in trouble. If I don't help her, she will go to jail. So please help me help her. Roy, I can't do anything illegal. You got her into this too, you know. Don't transfer responsibility, Roy. Just make a phone call for me, all right? Please. All right. All right, check out the Seven Palms Motel in Bakersfield. (HEART MONITOR BEEPING) It's like a giant cricket. I asked you to turn the machine off, right? You tell Angela the pass code, and then tell her to write it down. Pass code? They're going to search you on your way out. Right. It's 5-4-3, N-7 9-4-2. 5-9-3-- Doc! Oh. I'm sorry. 5-4-3... N-7, 9-4-2. Say it back to me. So, it's 5-4-3, N-7, 5-4-2. No, N-7, 9-4-2. N--Norman-7, 9-4-2. That's all you have to do. 5-4-3-N-7-9-4-2. 5-4-3-N-7-9-4-2. Thank you, doc. She's going to be okay. Angie's gonna be all right. (FLY BUZZING) Hey. Hello? He, can you guys put-- put the air conditioner on? It's hot. What is it, Bishop? Bishop... Oh... Aw... Hey, detectives, can you make it a little cooler in here? (WIND WHISTLING) Whoa. Whoa... FRANK: Dear Roy, you're probably pretty upset. I don't blame you. You taught me most of what I know, so I suppose I owe you better than this, but you always told me if I ever got a shot at a big score, I should take it, and that's what I did. CHUCKLES (GRUNTS) Taxi! Sorry! Sorry! Jerk! Sorry about the sap on the head, by the way, and for everything else. You always said guys like us can't afford to have regrets about what we do. That's going to be a little harder for me, but I'll manage. DR. KLEIN: No, I told her I am a psychiatrist. I can't lie, Roy. Hey, hey, hey, hey! (MECHANICAL BARKING) FRANK: If it makes any difference, you're the best I ever saw. I'd never find a better partner, and now I won't have to. I love you, man. Frank. Booth today, Mr. Waller? (LAUGHTER) FRANK: P.S. Enjoy the gift. ANGELA: She said you were a bad guy. You don't seem like a bad guy. Well, I don't think you're a bad guy. (RINGS DOORBELL) Roy? Heather... She's... She's not here, is she? What? Angela. Who? What? Roy, what are you talking about? The baby. You were gonna have a baby. That's-- that's why you're here? You were pregnant. You were pregnant! You were. You were pregnant. I lost it. Roy? You okay? Yeah, I'm okay. (ENTRANCE BELL CHIMES) Excuse me one second. (TELEPHONE RINGING) Hey, boss. Roy, another live one. All right. Afternoon. Hey, how you doing? Good. Can I help you find anything? Uh, yeah. I, uh, I need a carpet. For your home? For my secretary's office. No, it's for my apartment. All one room of it. Uh-huh. Big place. Uh-huh. Big place. Oh, yeah. All right, you have a colour in mind? I...have a price in mind. Cheap. Okay, so you don't need much, you don't know what you want, but no price is too low. That's about me. You are my perfect customer. Come on, let's dig into the remnants. Oh! Wait, wait. My girlfriend knows a bit better than I do what we need. Hey, sweetie? There she is. Um, I, uh... (SIGHS) Um, I just think we should go with the dark because of the dog. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, fair enough. We just got a dog. Let me guess. A Lab. German shepherd, but... My next guess. There's no, like, special carpet that dogs like, is there? Yeah. Yeah, we call it Astroturf. Come on, remnants are in the back of the store. You folks just move in together? Yeah, three weeks ago. Big step. I kind of like this one. I kind of like this one. That's a nice choice. It's so dark you barely notice stains. You like it? Sure. How much is it? Well, the sticker says $75, but I can knock 20% off if you pay cash. This is our living arrangement. I pay the rent, and she buys the carpets. Shit. What's up? I think left my wallet... Yeah. I left my wallet in the car. Do you think you could go get it? Yeah. I'll be right back. Thanks for not saying anything. How long have you worked here? A while. So, what, you working this guy? No. No, no. No, I'm retired. That was...a one-time deal. No kidding? You were...good. I had a good teacher. Teachers. You know, I'm kind of surprised to see you here. I figured you would have moved down to, I don't know, Hawaii? Well, I kind of got screwed on my cut. You know Frank. You're gonna go swimming, you're gonna get wet, right? You changed your hair. Makes you look grown up. I am grown up. You always go out dressed like this? Sometimes. Why, you gonna ground me? Sorry. I'm sorry too... if it's any consolation. You mad at me? You didn't take it. I gave it to you. That's a funny way of looking at it. Well, I see things differently now. So you like this guy? (ENTRANCE BELL CHIMES) Yeah, he's sweet to me. I met him at a bowling alley. We had a good time, didn't we? Yeah, we did. Thanks, buddy. Right there. It's good to see you, Roy. It's good to see you too. Don't you want to know my name? I know your name. I'll see you, Dad. Hi. That'll be $36.50, sir. # The summer wind # Came blown' in # From the across the sea # It lingered there # To touch your hair # And walk with me # All summer long # We sang a song # And then we strolled That golden sand # Two sweethearts # And the summer wind # Like painted kites # Those days and nights # They went flyin' by # Beneath a blue # Umbrella sky # Then softer than a piper man # One day it called to you # I lost you # I lost you To the summer wind # The autumn wind And the winter winds # They have come and gone # And still the days Those lonely days # They go on and on # And guess who sighs # His lullabies # Through nights That never end # My fickle friend The summer wind # The summer wind # Warm summer wind # Mm, the summer wind # www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2018