(LUCKY) They say the great thing about being a kid is it's so easy to pretend. You can have a conversation with your dog or a baseball or a banana. Well, what if it wasn't pretend? What if you could have a conversation? Not with a baseball or a banana, that's ridiculous, but with your dog. (DOG) I mean, we don't have the same concept of time that people do. Because you have watches and clocks. But we do know that you go away. And it's not like we don't know that you're gone. So we don't know exactly how long. Why do dogs sniff each other's butts? That's just our way of shaking hands. If you want a sense of who somebody is, you gotta sniff their butt. Son, stop talking to the dog. She doesn't understand a word. (LUCKY) At first his dad thought it was just harmless kids' stuff. But, as time went on, John crossed that line between harmless and weird. Mr Galvin. Mr Dolittle. John, this is Principal Galvin. Nice to meet you, John. (SNIFFS) Oh, boy... That's not good. Nice to meet you. John...! (LUCKY) It was time to put an end to it. Thank you for coming, Reverend. Leave this boy, devil man! Go now, Satan! Take the serpents' voices with you! I demand you to come out of this boy! Come on out! God said it! Woof! I'm gonna bite you! (TROUSERS RIP) Git! That's enough! Get off! Get this dog! Get this dog off of me! (GROWLING AND RIPPING CONTINUES) She was my best friend. You'll make some real friends now. (LUCKY) From that day, John Dolittle never spoke to animals again. Someday you'll thank me for this. (LUCKY) After a while, all he could remember was deep inside there was something missing. And just like his dad wanted, he grew up to be a normal, regular guy. You know - miserable. Hey, hey, get outta here! Hey! Haa! Haaa! Haaa! Ha-ha-haaaaa! (WHIMPERS SADLY) (WEE SPLOSHES ON THE CARPET) Stupid mutt. Vicious animal's in the hallway. (LUCKY) And did I mention he was a father? A lot like his own father, who was a father to him before he himself became a... (CLEARS THROAT) Oh, look! She's got a giant egg. Good morning, Charisse. My name isn't Charisse. I have changed my name to Paprika. Paprika? Paprika Dolittle - that has a nice ring to it. Not Dolittle. Just... Paprika. I don't understand it. What is that about? What is Paprika about? You know, Salt-N-Pepa. Paprika. Oh, OK. Paprika, I get it. I think Paprika is a beautiful name. It sounds like a seasoning. (PHONE RINGS) < Dolittle. He doesn't take anything we want seriously. Tell me about it. Mark, the proposal is unbelievable. I'm on my way in now. Maya, where're you going with that? It's for my swan egg I found. That'd make a good omelette. Dad, it's gonna hatch any day now. You're gonna miss that cos you'll be in camp. I can't go! When a bird hatches it bonds with the first thing it sees. And I want it to be me. Maya, it is not normal or healthy for you to spend all your time with your experiments. You need to spend time with kids your own age at camp - from this Sunday. But what about my pet egg? Here... Here's six pet eggs to take with you to camp. Oh, stop it. What's all the fuss about? You got that thing. What was that pet rat thing we bought? ALL: A guinea pig! We got you the guinea rat and it died. It didn't die! His name is Rodney and he's in my room. The thing's still alive? So why are you bothering me about this swan? I'm going to work. Have a nice day. Nice day. (CLOSES DOOR BEHIND HIM) Johnny! John, Gene has got some qualms about the new proposal. No room for qualms, Gene. No room for qualms. No qualms. Qualms are bad. Qualms are bad. Listen to Johnny. You know what it is? I'm just afraid that if we let a big company like Calnet take us over, we're not gonna be us any more. You know? We.... We'd be them. Let me explain something to you, Gene. Them has the best hospitals. Them has the best laboratories. And them is gonna pay us a very big giant amount of money. I swear to God, when think I about the money I get teary. Look at me. Those are real tears in his eyes. So, Saturday morning, we sit down with the Calnet people. I'm very excited. Hey, wait... Saturday? I'm taking my family to the country this weekend. Well,... don't. You see? You see, it's happening already. What? John, you're being forced to neglect your family! Gene relax. No such thing. Mrs er... Mrs O'Brien? Yes. How are you? Is your tummy still...? Uh-huh. OK, Saturday morning, guys? Gene, no tank tops, please. Mrs Parkus? Yes, Doctor. You ate shellfish again? Just soft shell crab. What's the middle word? Shell. Rodney's lost! He's not in his cage! Y'all gotta get going. I'll find your hamster for you. He's a guinea pig. Whatever. It's a rodent. I'll find the rodent. Hey, Nutmeg, let's go! You better wipe that look off your face. That's a little better. She's turning into a wise-ass. She's turning into you! You know, there's more to this HMO deal than money. You sell, they own you. Lisa, this is gonna be good for us. Watch. I'm so tired of that rap. It's always for us, John. But sometimes I don't know who us is. What do you mean? Us is us. Me and you and Maya and Charisse. The more money you have, the more time you can spend with your family. And, in the meantime, just make do and be happy with this beautiful, fancy sports car you always wanted. Oh, John...! You didn't?! No, I didn't. The van's around the corner. Don't tell me you don't care about money. "Oh, John...! You didn't?!" That's not funny. So, Daddy, you have to find Rodney. I'll find Rodney for you. I'll put down some of that sticky paper. No, don't put down sticky paper! The sticky paper's fine. You peel him right off it and he'll live. I will find Rodney for you. OK? Just bring him with you. And call me if my egg starts to hatch. I will call you if your egg starts to hatch. (SNORING) (SQUEAK! SQUEAK!) AARRGGHH!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!! Maya! (DOLITTLE CONTINUES TO SCREAM) Let's go! Let's go! Get in there! And you stay in there! (SQUEAK! SQUEAK!) (PHONE RINGS) Dolittle. Mrs Parkus, do you have a death wish? But I took it out of the shell. Can I talk to you for a minute? Sure. You couldn't tell what this was without me? I knew what it was. She was frightened. She wanted her doctor. It's a beautiful thing. That's a beautiful thing? How old are you? Twenty-six. And you spend all your time down here, right? Probably sleep in the break room cot. Little nookie with an intern in the closet. Well, I have a real life, OK? So only call me down here in an emergency. If a patient comes in carrying his own head or a bicycle up their ass, call me, understand? Yeah. You want me to give her the injection? I would not be a smart-ass right now if I was you. Make little smart statements to me at two o'clock in the morning... (CONTINUES MUTTERING) Something wrong, Doctor? Oh, no, Mrs Parkus. Oh! There we go. OK. Uh, thank you. You're welcome. (LUCKY) Why don't you watch where you're going next time, you bonehead! (SCREECH!) Let me start by saying thank you very much for giving up part of your weekend. We just wanna make sure we can answer any and all of your questions. We want you to be comfortable with our proposal. And speaking of which... The details of the buy-out. The financial information you're most interested in is on page four. Oh, wow...! Four million dollars! That's pretty comfortable. I'm comfortable. You comfortable, Geno? Actually, I have some questions. No, you don't. Yes, I do. Are we gonna have to cut back on our staff? Yes, we need to make staff cuts. Bread? No, thank you. No, thank you? You offered me bread and I don't want any. So you have no problem with minor staff cuts? You gonna share that bread or what? You said you didn't want any. Is this some kind of joke? Absolutely not. Bagel chips! Back off or you'll find your nuts in a tree! Do you have a problem with that, John? Watch your head! I'm flying here! OK, that's enough for me. Great meeting. Very productive. Wonderful meeting. See you guys on Monday. I'll talk to you later. Excuse me. Johnny's been on call all night, Mr Calloway. He's... very excited. You gotta move it. (GASPS) I said, let's go. You can't park here. Let's move it. Oh, jeez... Thanks, man. OK, I'm moving it. Thank you. This is ridiculous. ("ROCK STEADY" BY DAWN ROBINSON PLAYS) (SNIFFS) Ahhhhh...! Boy, we got some fresh air here. Yeah. That's the thing about the city. What the...?! Whoa! I should've put on my seat belt! Ease it up. Ease it up. Slow your butt down! Whoa...! Jeez, Louise, that didn't seem too safe. Oooh! My back hurt. This is a dream. I'm dreaming right now. Whoa! Hold it! Stop! You're talking and I understand you. Those guys in my dorm told me that stuff wouldn't affect me. 15 years later, this shit happens to me! OK, let's chill. Let's just chill. I'm not gonna chill. You're gonna chill! What're you doing, switching sides? Alright, you, come on! Hey, I can't drive! Out. Let's go. Need some help? Uh, no, we're fine. I'm just stretching my legs here. Ask her if she's got any lettuce. Shut your little furry mouth! You sure you're OK? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. That's good. Thank you. Thank you so much. Goodbye. Now what? Hey! Hey! You're a monster! What're you doing? Leave me alone! Hey! Are you nuts? I'll roast! Stay away or I'll kill you! Don't leave me here! It's hot! Hey, what kind of doc are you? Hey, doc, this is cruel to animals! Come on, I'm your friend. I'm your buddy. Reverse. That's it, back up. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, don't run over the cage now. Oh, man, you scared the crap outta me. See? There it is. Shut up! Shut up right now! Say one more word, one more, and I'll leave you here. Understand? OK, OK, OK. Oh, stop! Slow down! Shut up! I can hear you up there! Shut up! Doc, I'm getting whisker whipped up here. One more word and I'm gonna leave you in the wild with the real animals! See how much talk you do when some squirrels are kicking your ass! Fine, then, I'll just sing. # The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind (TURNS CAR HI-FI ON LOUD) # The answer is blowin' in the wind I can't hear you! Hey, why do they call me a guinea pig anyway? I'm not Italian and I'm not pork. (DANCE MUSIC PLAYS) Grandpa, did Daddy learn how to be bossy from you? Maya, don't talk to Grandfather that way. He certainly didn't learn it from his mother, God rest her soul. One day you'll understand that your parents do know what they're doing. (LOUD MUSIC FROM THE CAR) I made it! What's Rodney doing on the roof? Thought the fresh air would do him some good, honey. Honey, are you alright? Yeah. I'm fine. Hey, Daddy. Lunatic! Daddy, we still got my old BB guns? Crazy man! BB guns? Psycho! Son, I think you need a vacation. Oh, yeah! And I'm gonna have one, too. This is beautiful! Excuse me, honey. Hey! What's that step called? I think we should get rid of Maya's little rat thing. He's a guinea pig. I don't know why you let him get to you. (DOLITTLE GARGLES) (BABBLES) I'm not letting him get to me at all. Not the least bit. Mmm-hmm. Good. Oh... Mmmm... I'll be right back. Is it alright if I wait in the bed naked? (GIGGLES) Yes. Time to come out of these drawers then. Hello? Yoo-hoo! Out here. Yeah, yeah. Oh, there you are. Oh, my God...! Hello. Ooh. That's right. You're the one who can hear us, aren't you? No, I can't hear you. The whole woods are talking about you. Listen... Can you do me a favour and take this stick out of my wing? It's killing me. Can you, huh? Don't worry. I won't hurt you. Ah... Much better. Good job. Thank you. What's happening to me? You're gonna be pleasantly surprised, that's what. (SHRIEK!) Oh, my goodness. It's an owl. Yeah, it's a big, nasty owl. Let's go in the house, honey. No, it's beautiful. No, they're dangerous creatures. They can easily poke your eye out. Oh, come on! And take your finger off. What you doing messing with that owl? I'll go check on the kids and lock the door. Are you OK? I'm fine. Are you sure? Go ahead, get to bed. OK. Five minutes. (RODNEY) Hey, crazy man, I know you having fun in there. # Do a little dance, make a little love # Get down tonight! Beep! Beep! # Get down tonight! Can I make a request? Can I get tuna in oil instead of water? Hey, who put in that bug zapper? # Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir? Yo, lookie here. Hey, buddy, my old lady asks, I been eatin' trash all night. You dig? Yah! You're on my tail, idiot! Got to lose that bug light! Hey, Doc, while you're out, get some salmon. Can't go wrong with salmon. Hey buddy, all night. You broke Mr Stinky, I think. Keep away from me! What are you doing? I have to go back to the city. What? Wait! John! Why?! You just got here! I need a doctor. I am a doctor! I got beeped and when you get beeped you gotta go! I'm sorry, hon. Talk to you later! I love you so much! (COUGHS) (SHRIEK!) Come on, pick up the phone. Pick it up! Pick it up! Dr Litvack. Sam! Hi! It's John Dolittle. John? How you doing? Nice to talk to you. So, are you enjoying your summer? Jeez, it's really late, John. It's one o'clock in the morning. Is it, really? Wow, I didn't realise it was that late. I'm sorry. I was just wondering if you wanted to get together for a drink or a CAT scan. A CAT scan? Can it wait till morning? I love you. No. I have to come right now. (TYRES SCREECH) What's your problem? Your face! I'll hit you so hard you'll see ten more of me! Already smells like ten more of you! Bring it on, cheese eater! I'll tear you to pieces! You are tempting fate now, buddy. Come on, fat boy, I'll murderlise you. You little rat! Come here, you gerbil! Hey, what are you looking at? Me? Yeah, you. Who else, buddy? I'm just looking at two greasy rats fighting over some garbage. Greasy?! You four-eyed bubble headed dufus biped! I'll get bubonic on your ass! I'm gonna put that light bulb between your rat buttcheeks and make a little rodent lamp out of you! Let me tell you something. I'm a human. I'm a human! Sam! Thanks for coming down, Sam. (BOTH SNICKER AND GIGGLE) There's no abnormalities of any kind. Alright then...? Why are you hearing animal voices? Exactly. Why am I hearing animal voices if everything is fine? I don't wanna wind up on the street talking to myself with dirt under my nails and stinking with my hair all matted. It's not a cool look. Have you been under any unusual stress lately? Not really. I got the Calnet thing and Lisa's been giving me a hard time about that. But that can't be it. No. Small potatoes. I did hit a dog the other day. Oh, my God, a dog? Sam, make me feel worse, huh? Sorry. But a little doggie? It was fine. It got up and ran off. He was injured? He felt well enough to call me a bonehead. John, the dog couldn't have spoken to you. Oh, Sam, with all due respect... No. John, the dog did not speak to you. Maybe you're right. Huh? I'm sorry I woke you up for this. Thanks, Sam. Hi, honey. Where are you? Are you alright? Yeah, honey, I'm OK. I just freaked out a little bit. What's wrong? I got a lot of stress I been under. From what? The merger. The practice. It's all come to a head. OK, John, just come back out here. OK? Yeah, I'm on my... I'm on my way out now. (LUCKY) Bonehead! I'll see you in a few. John? John...? Excuse me, where's the stray dogs? Right this way. (DOGS ALL CHATTER LOUDLY) Hey, buddy! Over here! Hey, mister. Bet you I won't bite nobody again. I am Keyser Soze. Wait! I have owners. They've just been out of town for a few... years. Dead dog walkin'. Oh, that does not sound good. Keep your tail up, pal. When are we gonna get some decent chow in here? Hey, hey, thanks a lot. Boy, that was close, huh? Hey, you got kids? I love kids. Kids are the greatest. Kids are great. Now, what is going on? Hey, you understood me. Really(?) I'm going crazy. How come I can understand you? Maybe you're just weird. Look, shut up. You're a dog. Dogs can't talk. What do you think barking is? An involuntary spasm? I don't know. I know you're not barking. I'm going to my family. Excuse me. Good luck to you. That's it? (COUGHS) Oh! Oh! Oh, it must be that truck exhaust or something. Oh, everything's going black! Oh...! Oh! It's not good. Thank you. Ooops! Phew! Is that the biggest ass you've ever seen? Lie down, Chauncy. Lie down! Lie down! Chauncy! He's deaf. I'm not deaf. I just can't stand listening to her. Just don't fix me. OK? Please, don't fix me! I won't look at another female ever, I swear. Anything but my manhood, man! Not my manhood! Please, I'm... Yo, baby! What's up? You looking pretty sweet there, sugar. No! Don't, please! No! No! Please, I'm begging you! Dolittle? Come on. (BEEPING) (CONTINUOUS TONE) So, what seems to be the problem? Well, Doctor, I think it's pulmonary distress. He might have fluid on his lungs too. Oh, let me guess. You're an MD. Yes. I am. When a doctor brings in an animal, they always do a little amateur diagnosis. Tell him to get away from my butt! I did go to veterinary school for five years. Is it just me or is he hovering around my butt a lot? And unlike you, my patients cannot tell me where it hurts. Listen, could you tell him my butt is great. So, Doctor, if you don't mind...? Hey, where does he think he's gonna put that? I was faking it, OK? I feel fine. Don't let him stick that up my - Hello! Let's listen to those lungs. I'm gonna swallow the thermometer - and I don't mean in my mouth. Dr Fish, maybe I should pull that out a bit? Don't you touch that. It's heading in. It's going south for the winter. (WHIMPERS AND MOANS) Now, you see, I have to interpret what the dog is moaning about. What's to interpret? There's a thermometer. It's in my butt! It'll be over in a minute. What? Yes. Well, there it goes! Butt just swallowed it Uh, Doctor... I'm just guessing. But I think you've just lost your thermometer. Well, it's gone. Alright, I have... I have three options. One, I can manually retrieve it. What's he saying? He can retrieve it manually. Pass. Two, give the dog a laxative and wait it out. And, three, surgically remove it. A laxative or surgery? Laxative! You know, just give him a laxative. It'll come out later. Never works. So what would you suggest? I'd like to go in manually. There we go. Oh, my Lord! Oh...! Oh, this is not good. Oh, Lassie, go home...! Yee! Ah! Oh! Oh! Ah! Yee! Ah! Oh! Oh! Why on Earth would a guy go into a line of work like that? Alright, that's it for you. Hit the road. Get out of here. What? But I'm your pet. You are not my pet. If I were gonna get a pet, I wouldn't get one as annoying as you. Out! Go! Don't worry about it. You sprung me from the joint, you fixed me up. Thanks. Just go. Don't worry about me. I'll just, you know, disappear without a trace. (PHONE RINGS) I hope a car doesn't hit me. Dolittle. (MAYA) Hi, Daddy. Hey, baby. How you doing? Will I see you before I go to camp? I'm really working on it. Woof! Woof! Get out of here! Go! Woof! Daddy, is that a dog? Yeah, that's a dog. Mommy, Daddy got me a dog! Oh, no, no, no, no... Hey! Daddy didn't... Is that what you've been up to? Oh, you caught me. Woof! Woof! Woof! Atchoo! What? I have allergies. Yeah, I guess, we'll see you at camp. Woof! Grandpa, Daddy got me a dog! He got me a dog. Can you believe it? My own dog! Look, they're gonna want to know your name. I don't have one. Well, we're gonna have to think of one. A small girl once called me "Please, Mommy, not him". How about that? Nah, that's not gonna work. You got red hair. How about Lucy? Lucy? I like that. Good name. Just one problem. I'm a guy. Really? How about Lucky? Perfect! Lucky! Yes! Hi, I'm Lucky. It works on two levels. I love it. Daddy! Talk to my daughter. Be nice. Oh, you got me a dog! Oh, he's adorable! Oh, you're such a cute dog! What's his name? His name is Lucky. Does he do any tricks? He does a neat trick with a thermometer that's funny. You got her a dog! Yeah, well, I got us a dog. Are you OK? Yeah. Come on, let's get you all set up here. Oh, look at this nice rabbit on your door. Isn't that nice? Oh, this is nice! Yeah. What a fun cabin! Oh! Oh, you smell the air here? What a wonderful place! What a wonderful camp! Daddy... Can I go home with you and Lucky? Hey, Maya... Look, here's the deal. You stay here for a while, have a great time, then Lucky's all yours. Three weeks is a long time. Can't I just go home with you? No. No camp, no dog. OK, I'll stay... You'll have a great time here. When you get older, you'll thank me cos you'll have so many friends. You'll see. (LUCKY GROANS) What's the matter? Everything's going by so fast. Don't you dare throw up in this car. What you looking at? The lines on the road. They're just whipping by. Lines. Line. Line. Line. Line. Line. Line. Look at something further away. Don't look at the lines. OK. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree. Tree... Urgh! Sir, could you just...? (COUGHS) Who knew? OK, and not only could he understand me, but it turns out he's a doctor. Look! Not even a scar. And it hurt so bad. I don't know what I would've done without him. Yeah. Oh, what a day! Oh. You have knots all over the place. Oh, I'm all messed up. I'm falling apart. Oh. How does that feel? Oh, Mrs Dolittle... Yeah, baby! Erm... Excuse me one second, OK? OK. Just one second. Come on. Let's go. What a gyp. You mind if I have a little privacy, please? Oh, but it's fine when people watch us do it, huh? Fine to turn on the garden hose. Hey, you want a tip on a good position? You were barking. I'm excited. When I get excited, I start making all kinds of sounds. You never barked before. (DOORBELL CHIMES) Hello! Hello! Hello! Yoo-hoo, Doc. We got trouble here. Let's go! Hey! No, no! You take care of the ducks. I'll take the goat. Me? Oh! Ouch! Alright, I'll get the ducks. (GAGS) Hey. What's going on out there? Erm, Mark just showed up. So I have to go over the proposal. Come on, let's move it! Don't do that! And Lucky wants to be taken for a walk. Then I gotta deal with Mark. Great. See you in the morning. I'll be the one cooking breakfast. Tomorrow! Woof! Hey, Mark! Hi, how you doing? You're all trying to destroy my life, aren't you? Freeze! What you doing in the hallway this time of night? I have to go to the bathroom. What're you doing? I'm... I'm patrolling the hallways. I'm the father. I patrol the halls and make sure everything is safe. Don't you move. You're up at this time because you drink too much liquid. And you're old enough to be able to hold it in. So, go on back to bed. But, Dad, I have to go. Well, Lucky's in the bathroom right now. The dog is using the bathroom? (TOILET FLUSHES) Let me go in here and make sure he put the seat down. Then it's your turn, OK? Hey! Hey! You heard of knocking? One quack. Not one quack. Hey... Here's the toilet. It's all down like you like it, ready for you. No little sprinklets on it or anything. It's just waiting for you to come and do your thing. Dad, I don't need adult supervision. Alright. Somebody, get this thing off me! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey, take it easy. Don't gag me. (TOILET FLUSHES) Good night, Dad. Oh, good night. 'Night, honey! See what you almost made happen? Let's go, let's go. What I almost made happen? What did I do? SHEEP: Beep! Beep! We're the sheep! Oh no. Not these clones! Move aside, Top Dog coming through. Sorry. Am I late? Good evening, Doctor. No! Take your fat ass back out. Oh, God, what a zoo! Obviously not a kosher establishment OK, where are the chicks? (ANIMALS CHATTER LOUDLY) Now, what's going on? What is all this? I don't know. You know, tell a friend. Looks like they need to talk to a doctor, Doc. Our butts hurt. Our butts hurt. Our butts hurt. OK, let's do this. And watch your droppings. Tonight, this is the house of love! East coast, west coast, let's unite! Is Brooklyn in the house? This will sort out the inflammation. But who's gonna wipe it on for you? Does Brad Pitt need a goat? Don't be ashamed. It happens to most men occasionally. I bet you're under pressure. He's not under pressure. He's not attracted to me because I'm just a pigeon. He's a self-hating pigeon. That is not true. Ask him what he does all day. I sit in a tree by myself. He's too good to eat with us when the old people feed us in the park. Can I say something? The way he stares at a robin's breasts... It makes you sick! They're orange. I happen to be attracted to orange breasts. You're not a robin! You're a pigeon! And I'm a pigeon! She sits on that nest all day and it makes her crazy. May I ask you something? If I turn this way don't I look a bit like a blue jay? The problem with the equilibrium might be due to an ear infection. (BELCH!) Or maybe due to this. (FRENCH ACCENT) I'm a social drinker. Very social. Stand up. Stand up. Touch your nose and raise your left foot. Nose... Leg... Oh...! I don't know. I think you're wasted. Let me see you walk this line. Oh, my goodness... Oooh la-la! (HIC!) You have a drinking problem. So stop drinking. You might be an alcoholic. Really? Nobody likes a drunk monkey. Sorry. You have obsessive compulsive behaviour. Throw the ball! Whenever you want the ball, think about something else. Yeah! Just throw the ball. Relax your mind... This is how it works - you're the person, you throw the ball. I'm the dog, I get it. I swear, I'll pee on your carpet. It's irritating, this ball thing. Shut up and throw the ball! Am I alone here? Am I all by myself? Am I in another universe? Throw the damn ball! Throw the damn ball! He threw the ball! Oh! I'll get it! I'll get it! Mmmmm! I love you! I love you! You threw the ball. You can't save 'em all, Hasselhoff. Hey, is there a doctor in the house? Right up here, above your head. Doc, they're kicking me off the force. I'm as blind as a bat. Can you help me? OK. Just give me a minute. Keep it quiet. Sorry! Tell me what you think of these... Holy road apples! I can see! No desk job for me. Thanks, Doc! You are most welcome. This is gonna be great. I'll make lieutenant! Nothing can stop me. Nothing. Oh, look, a doughnut shop. I bet you that's just the tip of the iceberg. Doctor! You must help us quick! What happened? It's my fault. I should not have let him out. The circus tiger (HIC!), he will jump! I told you to stop drinking. Drinking, I give it up. Good. Let's go. Wait! You don't know where it is! And now, on the day I end it all, I leave Margaret The Bearded Lady my rhinestone collar and my wet-dry shaver. I'd like to leave Jack The Midget nothing. It's too late for you, Jack` Hey! Get outta there! You're on my landing space. Man...! See if you land on your feet, roadkill! You bloodsucking vermin, take a break. Mmm, bloodsucking. Look out below! Lucky, come on. Come on what? We gotta go up there! Are you crazy? That's a tiger! I'm jumping now. Don't try and stop me. Coming right up, one order of man, side of dog! Uh, I need a drink! Goodbye, cruel world. Oh, no, I just remembered I wanted to leave the whip to the baboon. One of the few animals that enjoy that kind of thing. Hi... (GASPS) Hey, who are you? I'm Dolittle. Get outta here. I'm in pain and I'm gonna jump. Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa! Take it easy now. I'm a doctor. Maybe I can help you. I don't need a doctor. I need a miracle. I'm a train wreck. I have headaches, nausea. The worst thing is this double vision. Ah, what's the use? It's not like anybody cares about tigers anyway. Stop. You're being silly. There've been lots of lovable tigers. Yeah? Name one. How about Tony? Tony, the cereal tiger? You didn't come up with anything. Oh! Remember that song "Eye of the Tiger" from "Rocky III"? # It's the eye of the tiger, it's the... That one from "Rocky III". When Rocky was fighting Mr T. Couldn't beat Mr T. Then Apollo Creed played "Eye of the Tiger" for him. He went back and beat Mr T. That song moved him. Not "Eye of the Moose". Not "Eye of the Bull". "Eye of the Tiger". That's it. I'm jumping. No, don't jump! (RAT) Jump, jump, you big pussy! I'll catch you. Not! (GIGGLES) Didn't I say take a break?! Hah! Alright, Doc, then you jump! Why do you wanna help me? It seems I'm the only one who can. I don't know, maybe it's my destiny. Maybe it's your destiny to be the one tiger that everybody remembers. Why else would I be here? Cos the drunk monkey can't keep his mouth shut. Are you gonna let me help you? What if you can't? If I can't help you, then you can eat me and Lucky. Yeah. Or just him. Really? Will you take me back to the circus? I will take you back to the circus. Alright. But don't think I wasn't gonna jump. Because I was. I sure hope you're a better doctor than you are a singer. Good job, Doc. Although, seeing a tiger jump five storeys would have been really cool. I heard that! Hey, Doctor D! Johnny D, three o'clock - Calnet. Meeting to go over the agreement. You won't believe what I got for us. Corporate cars - every two years. What's going on? "Atlas of Feline Anatomy for Veterinarians"? But, John, we treat humans. Hey, Mark, sit down a second. Just a minute. Remember when we first started out? We had a crummy office in the worst neighbourhood in town and we got paid almost no money. I've blocked it out. Have you really? I guess so, yeah. Those were the most exciting times to me. You couldn't wait to get to work. I felt I was making a difference. And last night I had to treat some... some emergencies. And I was challenged. And it was difficult. And I got the same kind of rush I had back then. I felt like I was making a difference And I think that maybe here I'm not giving my patients enough attention. John, don't ever confide in me, OK? I'm useless in these areas. I'm a very self-absorbed man. You wanna get Gene in here? Hey, Geno! Gene, get in here! Hey, you did your job just by pretending you were listening. Any time. Calnet, three o'clock. Three o'clock sharp. Calnet. Miaow! (PHONE RINGS) This is Dr Fish. Is this the author of "Feline Illnesses And Diseases"? Yes. You've... You've read my book? Have I read your book? I sleep with your book next to my bed. It's my bible. Well, some people consider it the definitive work on cats, but er... Bible? Well, no, I can... I can see your point. Dr Fish I have a very, very sick, very, very big cat. And I'm concerned that it might be something really serious because his vision's impaired and he seems to be in a lot of pain. Well, if it is in the head, there's only two options. One is surgery and the other is putting it down. I don't know how I'm gonna do this, but I'm gonna take care of you. I promise. Just hurry back. Every minute you're gone, I'm one minute closer to death! I just might hang myself by my underpants! I can get underpants. Not really... He blew off the Calloway meeting! I don't care about that! I need to speak with John. Listen, you wouldn't believe what's going on here. (ANIMAL CHATTER, SCREECHING) Oh, Doc! Doc! Help me! Help me! He's dead! He's laying there dead. Help me! Oh...! He's not dead. Don't go, buddy! You gotta help him. Oh, really? Why is that? Why? Cos... Cos you're the man. Oh? I thought I was the guy that you wanted to get bubonic with. I'm going towards the light now. I was just kidding. Serious? Come on! (LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY) Goodbye, world. I smell flowers. I beg you, don't let him die. Don't let my buddy go. I'm sinking fast. John... Hey, Mark, hi. Where have you been? Calloway! The Meeting! I had an emergency. Excuse me. Oh, excuse you. Oh, hang in there, brother. Does it hurt when I do this? It ain't no day at the dump. If he dies I don't know what I'll do. He'll eat me! Only out of respect. (SQUEAKING) Guys, be quiet. I can't hear if you talk. John! Uh-oh. He said he was suffering from severe abdominal cramps. He said? I wouldn't be working on this rat unless it was an emergency. AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH!! What happened, Doc? He's gone into arrest. No pulse. Oh, my God! He's a goner! He's not breathing. Johnny... Maybe we should shock him. I don't know. The paddles'll be too big. CPR... You know how to do CPR? CPR? I can't even spell it. Oh, I can't even look, Doc. Johnny! No, Johnny! No! Oh, for Christ's sakes! You didn't even wine him or dine him, Doc. Doc, my friend would rather die. No tongue, Doc. Eeech. Come on. Come on. I got no pulse. John... Not now! I'm trying to save somebody! Honey... Hey! Lisa, please! (FARTS) I'm hungry. It's a false alarm. Nothing wrong with him. He just has gas. Whoa! You're telling me! He just had gas. You're back! He's got gas! I don't care if you stink, I love you, pal. Thanks, buddy. I felt your presence. Lisa, stop looking at me like that. John Dolittle. Who'd have ever thought you would end up in a mental institution? Number one in our medical school class. Not that I'm jealous, John. Someone had to finish first. Someone had to finish last, too. So, John... You talk to animals now, do you? Wanna tell me about it? Or would you rather tell Bettelheim here? I don't need to talk to your cat, Blain. Why? Do you think he'd talk back to you? You know, he just might. And what would he say? I'd say you were a butthead. I really like this cat. He's recommending you stay here a minimum of ten days. You think I need to be here for that long? You said that you can talk to animals. You know, I can really hear them. Hey. I can. You gotta believe me. I can't. Here you go... Your medicine. OK, then. I can get you anything you need inside. Saucers, coasters, chips, nuts... If you have any extra medication, I could really use it. Whoa! Now, what is all this? This is to prove to me and the world that you can talk to animals. Now, the orang-utan is attached to this brainwave monitor. Normally, he responds to visual stimulation. But, since you have got the gift of gab, you won't need pictures to make him respond. Get acquainted, John. OK, listen, I need your help. I need you to make that needle over there move. Because, if you don't, they're gonna make me stay here forever. OK. So just make the little needle jump. Come on. I know you can hear me now, so don't play. This is very serious right now. I guess he's just not a... big talker, John. Give me a break. Say something, please. Please escort Dr Dolittle back to his room. Adios! Muchas gracias por nada! Wait a minute, you speak Spanish? Yo hablo, tu hablas, el habla, nosotros hablamos. That's why he couldn't understand. Remove him. Go. Turn that machine back on. Me llamo es... Spanish... My God! Eh, tu conoces Will Smith? I'm worried, John. Who are you trying to fool? You're not worrying about me. You're worrying about Calnet. John, I admit it. I want the money. I'm not ashamed of that. Look, here's what I want you to do for me. Just stop barking and chirping for one day. If you do that, you can get out of here. And that'd be a really good idea. Calloway said if you're not at Friday's press conference, the deal's off. And if you would do that for me, Johnny, I'll buy you a rat farm and you can burp and fart those little rats until you pass out. But let's just get it signed. OK, my shot. My shot. (PHONE RINGS) Pick it up. Pick the phone up. Please. "Hi, we're not here. Leave a message." (BEEP) Hey, hi, it's me. I'm really starting to miss you guys. I'm starting to wonder what I'm doing here, too. Oh, well, maybe you were right. Maybe this whole thing was just my imagination. Hey, honey, feeling better? Who's this? Guess. I'm cute. I'm furry. And I make 500 babies a year! Rodney, get back in your cage! What's with that trap behind the fridge? You trying to kill me? Hey, get your little furry ass back in your cage, Rodney! Right now! Bye-bye. My son, Rodney. Little hairy boy sleeps in the cage. I have to keep him in the cage because he has a hygiene problem... (TIGER) He's not coming back. I can't believe I fell for it! Oh, boy,... I'm getting dizzy. Man, you don't look so good. Look who's talking. What do the three of you know? Uh-oh... I'm in bad shape. Ow, my head! What kind of a name is Ed for a horse? What kind of a name is Wilbur for a man? Peanut butter. That's how they got the horse to move his lips. Peanut butter in the back of the mouth. I disagree. The side. See his jaw! See? See? See? The oesophagus, yes. He's not talking. That's an act. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Finish what you were talking about. I'm sorry. Now he's like full teeth! Full teeth! Psst! Doc! Out here. Doc! Hey, over here. What are you doing here? Unbelievable! I cross three freeways at night to come to rescue you, and all I get is, 'What are you doing here?' This isn't a prison. It's a clinic. Look, the tiger's in bad shape. The tiger? Forget the tiger. Let me tell you something. I had a perfect life until you came along and started talking to me. Now I'm stuck here discussing Mr Ed with these guys. You've ruined my life enough. I don't want to talk to you. Just go away. Get out of here. Go! This is crazy! Oh, so now it's crazy to want to save a tiger's life. Tigers die every day. It's called nature. Let me tell you about nature. I'm a dog and I act like a dog. I don't try to be anybody else. We are who we are. And you are a doctor who can talk to animals. That's who you are. That is not who I am! Stop lying to yourself. Didn't I tell you to get out of here? Go! Get out! Stop coming around here and talking to me! With pleasure! You better not come back! Haaaah! Bonehead. All of you, leave me alone! Stop talking to me! Ruined his life? That's a laugh! Aaahhh! Aaaaahhhhh! Aaaahhhh! Aaaahhhh! OK, Blain, look, I wanna go home. Oh, so soon? And miss the field trip to the zoo? Listen, I know you've always hated me since medical school. But let's put that all behind us. We both have families. How do I get back to my family? It's very simple. Stop talking to animals, John. Simple. Alright, listen. You're right, I made a mistake. Maybe it was temporary insanity or I was working too hard. Whatever. It's over and I don't talk to animals any more. I'm not convinced. And we'll talk again in a month or so, OK? Tell you what, Blain. You sign my release form and I won't tell our fellow doctor friends about the pink tutu you keep in your closet. With the thong back. Oh! (CHUCKLES) Daddy's home! Daddy? Hey, Daddy! Hey, beautiful. How are you? Hey, baby. What the...? Why didn't you call me? I wanted to surprise you. Hey, why aren't you in camp, young lady? Mom brought her home. I didn't fit in. Well, try a little harder next year. Here, give me a hug. I missed you. Still Daddy's baby, huh? Honey... Do they know that you left? No, I escaped. Of course they know I left. They released me, told me I was better. Time to come home to my family. Are you not talking to me? You're sure you're OK? Oh, yeah, I'm fine. I got scared wondering when you were coming home. Well, I am back and I'm fine. And everything's gonna be just like it was in the old days. OK, I know what you're doing. Well, I don't have to listen to you either. Honey, maybe we should get rid of that dog. He comes home empty-handed! Don't tell me there wasn't a gift shop at the loony bin. Diane, call down to Radiology and get me the X-rays on Mr Galvin. Also ask Mrs Rivers if she can switch her appointment to 3:15. I may need Gene for a consultation. Yes, Doctor. Gene, check your schedule and see if you have time for a 3:15 consult. Sure. Mark, did you get the tests on Mr Freeman yet? They're coming in this afternoon, Johnny. Good. Keep me informed. OK? Hey, Doc, do you think I should get my beak done? Shhh! Aahh! Call somebody from maintenance. We need some screens or some traps. This is a doctors' office, not a zoo. He's back. We're gonna be rich! (ROLLING THUNDER) This is where he lives. And this is where he exercises. Does he do aerobics? Yeah, the guinea pig aerobics. Let's go. I can't be... Put that thing away. We don't have time. You'll get your dress dirty. Pop, will you help, please? I can't be late. But Rodney wants to come. Absolutely not. This is a press conference for people. No animals. Tell him, then. He'll listen to you. No, I'm not going to tell him he can't come. Help out. Come on, Pop. Can I tell you a secret? Yes. When Mommy told me what happened to Daddy, I wasn't afraid. I was happy. I believe he can talk to animals. Because I wanted Dad to be weird, like me. Is that wrong? No. No, it's not wrong. It's just sometimes I don't think he likes me very much. Honey...! He loves you. I know he loves me. But I don't think he likes me. And I really want him to. I'm gonna try and do things his way, Grandpa. And stop doing stupid experiments. No, Maya. Don't stop your experiments. Sometimes... daddies are the ones who need to change. Alright, let me park this car. Alright. Come on, girls. Let's go. Maya, let me talk to you a second. We'll be in there in a second. OK. Hey, listen... I don't think your egg is a stupid idea. I think it's kind of cool. You do? Yes. You have curiosity and you got a lot of good ideas. And that makes you special. You mean weird. I didn't say weird. I said special. And, you know, being weird's not such a bad thing. A lot of great people were considered weird. Like who? Lots of people. Albert Einstein. When he showed up with his crazy hair, people thought he was weird. Guy that smart... That was weird to people. And Muhammad Ali screaming, "I'm the greatest!" People thought that was weird. Super weird. And Joan of Arc, she heard voices. Like you, Dad? Yeah, like me. But listen, this is what I'm trying to tell you. No matter what happens, you be who you are. And you love who you are... because I love you. Give me a kiss. You know, Dad, you're a great person. Oh, thank you. And a weird one, too. See you inside. OK. (SIGHS) (SOBS) That was beautiful, man. Hey, Lucky, what are you doing here? Do you have a tissue? Yes, I do. In the back, in that pocket. Hey, listen. I'm sorry I ignored you back at the house. (LUCKY BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY) You know, you were the one who said, 'Be who you are,' and you were right. You put me back in touch with a part of me that I'd forgotten years ago. (BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY) Hey, I'm trying to say something. Then just say it. I'm trying to say it. What do you think I'm trying to say? 'I love you, Lucky.' That's not what I'm trying to say. Oh, yes, it is. That is not what I'm trying to tell you. Come on, deep down inside, that's exactly what you wanna say. Come on now. You'll feel a lot better. Let it out. Go ahead. You know it. I know it. I love you. You love me? Oh! Now I'm gonna need another tissue. Where are we off to? We are off to ruin my life. (SNORES) Pssssst! Wake up! Oh! Hey, Doc...! You came back. You need help. I'm gonna get you some tests. Tests? That's good, right? Tests? Yeah. Come on. Oh... I hate these stairs. Take good care of him, Doc. He's our star. He'll be OK. Oh, great, more steps. Come on, get in. Wait a minute...! The dog gets to ride up front? Stop looking at me like I'm a side dish! Oh, don't flatter yourself. Now, you two guys shut up. Quiet. Hey, look! Jerry! Can you keep your voice down? He's a big fan. Hey, Jerry! How you doing, dude? I'm just going for some tests! Hey! Hey! Hey! I'm fine. The tiger's fine. Stop that car! I told you they'd get away. No thanks to you. What? Three armed guards versus a pigeon? That's a fair fight? He's not at home, he's not answering his pager. I'm worried. Mom... Yes? Guess who Maya brought to the party. Rodney! Rodney! There you are! Oh, man...! Where the hell is Dolittle? You know, I just talked to him. He stopped at an orphanage to take care of a sick child. That is so John. It's so typical. He just cares. Weller, take your lips off my butt long enough to hear what I'm going to say. If Dolittle's not here in 10 minutes, I'm pulling the plug. You won't have to do that. He's gonna be here in five minutes. I hope so. Yeah. He will be. He'll be here in five minutes. Oh, hey, how you doin'? Where's the kitchen at? I gotta get in here. Where's the food? Rodney? Uh-oh, she's coming to get me! Rodney? Rodney? Rodney? (MAN'S VOICE) Who's Rodney? Sorry... Rodney? Rodney? This ain't no kitchen. Smell bad. Must be cooking chitlins. And what's this for? Ooooph! What am I gonna do?! Somebody help me! Hey...! (SPLOSH!) (GARGLING NOISES) Hey, I can't swim! AAAARRRRHHHHGGGG!!!! AAAARRRRGGGGHHHH... yourself! God! Where are you going?! Get me outta here! Help! Somebody get the licence plate number. I have just been violated! Whoa! This is where you work? Come on. Don't throw that away! That's the marrow. It's the best part of the bone. Look who's here! Well, if it isn't Siegfried and Roy. Quiet! Lucky, you keep an eye out. You rats, help him. We don't work for you. Give me a break. I saved your life. That's yesterday's news. Take a hike. You want gratitude? Get a hamster! Get a hamster! You kill me! I gotta get help. Yeah. I got a plate ID on the catnapper. Do something! The heart of a hawk! The heart of a hawk! A chicken hawk! The heart of a hawk! Aaaaaah...! Oh...! (AIR DRYER BLOWS) # I feel good # I knew that I would That feels good! I enjoy my personal relationships with my patients. You'll get over that. I'm joking. He better get with the programme. What's going on? Listen, this guy would rather be trudging through the snow with his little black bag... BOTH: ...making house calls! Exactly. It's kind of adorable really. Ow! Oh, my gosh, I'm sorry. Ow! I may have broken my nose. Let me check it. Let me check it. (CRUNCH!) Ow! I broke his nose! Let me take him to X-ray. I'm blacking out! I'm blacking out! VIBRATES: Y-e-a-h, t-h-a-t f-e-e-e-e-l-s g-o-o-d! Geno, this really hurts. It hurts? Of course it hurts. You're injured. You walked into a door! Your septum is crushed. Oh God, I'm bleeding! I need morphine! Hey, you guys... John! What happened to you? I walked into a door. I crushed his septum. Oh? Guys, this is not a good time. I'm kind of here with somebody. Oh, my God, John. I do not approve. Lisa is a wonderful woman. Jesus! Hey, it's OK, guys. It's a frigging tiger, man! It's OK. He's not gonna hurt you! I know him! Be afraid! Be very afraid! Oh, my goodness, I have to sit... Here's what we're gonna do. We tell Johnny we'll fix his little tiger up after he signs. OK? Then we have him committed. He's going to Happy Acres. Perfect! That way we'll get our money. Aaaaahhhhhh!!! It's shifted to the left. Something's applying pressure to it. You can't operate. You don't even know what his symptoms are. Double vision and chronic headaches. He told me so. You'll wind up back at Hammersmith's. I've been very supportive of you. But if you tell me a tiger told you what his symptoms are, I just think I might have to draw the line... (TIGER) You have to do something. Quick! We gotta get him into OR fast. What about the press conference? 20 bucks says this guy never shows. Watch your back, everybody! Clear the way, please! Out of the way, please! Out of the way! Clear a spot, please. We have an emergency here. Ladies and gentlemen, clear the way. Coming through. There you are! Let's do this. Mr Calloway, Mark broke his nose. The nose can wait. The press is waiting. Come on, partners. We're announcing! Come on. Come on. Where were you? I'll explain everything. Thank you all for coming. And thank you all for being so patient. As you all know, the practice of medicine and the business of medicine have been changing radically in America. We at Calnet strive to be at the forefront of these changes. And I am proud to announce the acquisition of... This is the life! Hot wings! Nuts! I love nuts! Oh, my... Live prey. (SNIFFS) Uh-oh...! (HYSTERICAL SCREAMING) That's a big cat! It's OK! It's alright. It's OK. He's not gonna hurt anybody. He's just a very, very sick tiger. You better have a rational explanation for this! No, I don't have a rational explanation. I wish I did. But I don't. Right now I got a really sick tiger. I'm gonna try to save it. That's all that matters. You go through with this - (SCREAMING) So, if you'll excuse me? (RODNEY) Stupid cat! Ruined a good party. Shut up. Shut up? I was gonna do karaoke! (SIRENS) What the hell is this? (PIGS CHANT) No more bacon! No more chops! (LUCKY) One, two, three, four, you ain't getting through this door! No justice, no peace! Make love, not war! Fur is murder! Free Willy! Pigs, go home! Pigs, go home! Pigs, go home! Huh? No, no, not you. The police! Wow! This is great! Are you OK? The man's coming down hard, but we're holding strong. I got such a chill. Really. OK, I'm gonna give you a local. It's not gonna hurt. It'll feel like a little bee sting. A little pressure, that's about it. OK? Here I come... (WINCES) Ooooh...! He can't do this. He still thinks he can talk to animals. He can, Lisa. He can talk to animals. It all started when he was a kid. I didn't know what to do. What're you saying, Dad? I thought it was a handicap. But it's a gift, Lisa. Don't you believe it? Look, see for yourself. I need you to stay alert and tell me if you feel any numbness in your paws or down your right side. Have you ever done this operation before? Yeah, once in medical school. But it was to a cadaver. But my professor told me I did such a good job that, had my patient not been dead, he would have lived. Very comforting, Doc! It's like Noah's Ark out here. It truly is a remarkable sight. These animals have prevented San Francisco's finest from entering the building, which is where the tiger is being held. OK, we're open. Gene, irrigate, please. Alright, Jake, I need you to be alert. Tell me if you feel anything. You feel anything now? No. Just the same old pain. How about now? You feeling any numbness at all? I can't. I don't know. Relax, and listen to the sound of my voice. I'm scared. Don't be scared. I'm not gonna let you go. John... What did he say? He said he's a little scared. Oh...! Oh....! Mmmm... (BEEPING) Pulse is dropping fast. His dura is bulging. There's too much pressure. Uh-oh, my left side went numb. Pulse still dropping. OK. Alright. Hey, you just hang in there, OK, Jacob? Hang in there for me. OK, doc. It's a blood clot. All I gotta do is find it. We're too close to his motor strip. More suction, Gene. We're losing him. Come on, Jake. Don't let go yet. We're almost there. We're almost there. I can feel it... There! There? That's it. OK. OK, here we go... (HEART MONITOR BEEPS STEADILY) It's gone! The pain is gone! Blood pressure stabilising. It's gone! It's really gone! He's OK. (DELIGHTED CHATTER) (LUCKY) Yeah, Doc! Thank you. You are very welcome. Lay back and relax. We'll have you back in the centre ring in no time. Doc, why'd you do that? If he tries to eat me again, I'll smack that moustache off your face! He's a lunatic. He has a history of mental illness. He is, frankly, unscrupulous. He's the most remarkable surgeon I've ever seen. He's here to stay. He is the straw that stirs the drink. I want exclusive rights to him. And he's dynamic and caring. I can't imagine... Dolittle! Wonderful work, Doctor! Bravo! Bravo, Johnny! I'm so inspired. Welcome aboard. I feel like I've bought myself a winning franchise. Oh, you haven't bought anything. We're not for sale. Look, we don't need these namby-pamby, wacko freaks. (SPLAT!) You want pigeon? I'll show you pigeon! (SPLAT!) Are you happy now? I'm right behind you! (SPLAT!) (COOS) (LOUIS ARMSTRONG SINGS "TALK TO THE ANIMALS") Hey! Somebody come here. I think we got birth here. Hey, hey, somebody! I see some shaking in that egg. I see shaking in the egg. Hey, hey, hey, how's it going, McGruff? You know what? A Tic-Tac wouldn't kill you. Hey, girl, get up! We got birth coming! Oh, great, a swan egg. This is gonna be great. Come on, girl! But just what is a swan? My egg! That's my egg hatching! OK, just breathe... Here come the magic moment. Oh, no! It's like Jurassic Park! It's gonna kill us! My swan egg's hatching! Good Lord, Doc! What on Earth is that? That would be Maya's brand-new baby alligator. Cool. (CHUCKLES) Mama? Mama?! I'm not your mama! Mama? Oh, no, don't look at me. Although there was that time I got drunk in the Everglades... Hey, Doc! Wait up! So, you're gonna treat both humans and animals. I love it! It's no big thing. We're all basically the same. My thoughts exactly. OK, first, I wanna move my bowl up on the dining room table. Second, no more gross dog food. And I want my own room, with a TV. I hate stories with happy endings. Yoo-hoo! What did you say? I didn't say nothing. Then who? (SQUAWKS) Run! Run for your lives! Oh, my God! Let's go, buddy! I don't wanna die. Hang a left! No. Hang a right! Look out for the traffic! Get the hell out of my way! This circle of life really stinks! (LOUIS ARMSTRONG SINGS "TALK TO THE ANIMALS") Subtitles by IMS Limited www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Able 2018