WIND WHISTLES LAUGHTER It's time to ride the slide and taste the wind. Humphrey, you are totally genius. Come on. Let's do it. WOLF: Air wolf! ALL YELL AND CHEER Guys. Guys. We're not mov... Ohh... This caribou is mine. Kate, I'm not a caribou. I'm your sister! Gotcha! Omegas don't play like this. You can't escape the greatest Alpha ever. Oh! Well, I just did. ALL YELL WOLF: Oh, we're gonna die! Keep it steady! Keep it steady! Whoa! Ohh! What was I thinking? Ohh! Oh! That was great! We are flying today, guys. ALL: Ohh! Whoo-hoo! Humphrey? Kate? BOTH: Whoa! Arggh! What are you doing up here? I'm practice-hunting for our lunch. Oh, good, cause I'm about to lose mine. (GAGS) You are? Ew. I'll try to swallow it. (GULPS) Oh! (CHUCKLES) Oh! Kate? It's time to go. Oh, I'm coming, Dad. Where are you going? Alpha School. It goes till spring. Spring? But that's the whole winter away. I know you're Kate's friend, Humphrey, but by next spring, she will be a trained Alpha, the future leader of the pack. (CHUCKLES) No doubt you'll be a clever Omega. Learn to keep the peace. And, Humphrey... ..remind us all to have fun. But...but... Alphas and Omegas can't, uh... Um, how do you say it? Um... (CLEARS THROAT) That's our custom, the law of the pack. WOLVES: Wolf pile! Silly Omegas. BOYS LAUGH GENTLE MUSIC MUSIC LIFTS ENGINE REVS HUMPHREY LAUGHS WOLF: Whoa! WOLF 2: Oh, dude! WOLF 3: Hey, whoa! Take a left, 30 degrees! ALL YELL AND HOLLER Salty, give us some sail draft! I think I taste the wind. No, just a bug. Hey, Mooch, get ready. Lower the boom. Whoa! Oh! Alright! Hang ten, boys! Hey, guys, we really need to work on the BRAKES! WOLVES: Brakes? Ohh! Whoa! Ohh! ALL GROAN Wolf pile! Oh, get your butt out of my face! What did we hit? BIRDS TWITTER AND CHIRP HUMPHREY: Spring. Whoa, look who's back from Alpha School. Forget about it, Humphrey. Kate's an Alpha now and you're an Omega. We're friends, OK? Exactly. Just friends. End of story. You better set your sights over there ` Reba and Janice, the vegetarians. Oh-ho, OK. Looks like were eating caribou tonight, boys. Hey, hey. HUMPHREY: Eastern pack wolves. Psst, Can-do, Hutch, we've got company. WOLF SNARLS, CARIBOU EXCLAIM (GROWLS) Great. There goes dinner. And there goes Kate. (PANTS) WOLVES BARK AND WHINE Holy... Caribou! Scatter to the sides! Look at those moves! Ooh! Settle the score, leader. (YELPS) (GRUNTS) Whoa! Huh, huh! CARIBOU GRUNT (GROANS) Are you alright? Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, what's your problem, you stupid eastern dog? That was our hunt! You can't just snake it out from under us. Can-do, back off. You better listen to the girl. (SNARLS) (GROWLS) KATE: Hey, break it up. Can-do, Hutch, break it up! Alright, Omegas, duty calls. KATE: Stop it. Can-do, Hutch, stop! Hey! HUMPHREY: Stampede! ALL LAUGH Kate. Humphrey? I'm still gonna tear this snaggle-toothed fool apart. Guys, lower the boom! Humphrey, we don't have time for fun. WOLVES YAP AND SNARL Oh... Whoa! ALL YELP (GASPS) Ohh... Guys, guys, come on. Don't get your fur in a bunch. You wolves are making us look bad. Come on, the caribou are laughing at us. (ALL LAUGH) Ner-ner! HUMPHREY: That's a moon I don't wanna howl to. ALL LAUGH (CHUCKLES) Western hunt group, get back to the den! BOTH GROWL The two of you, go home. Now! Omegas, good job. Great. My first hunt and I blew it. Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate, Kate. Don't beat yourself up. That's crazy. You were amazing. I mean, if anyone's hungry, they can eat, um... Um, they can always eat... Um... What? BOTH SCREAM Here. They can eat...berries. (CHUCKLES) Berries...are really, um, nutritious. Yeah, tell that to a hungry pack. Ugh... (BURBLES AND SPITS) WOLVES GRUNT AND MUTTER (GRUNTS) Ohh. (SIGHS) The eastern wolves ruined Kate's hunt. (SNARLS) Luckily, the Omegas were there to break up the fight. Aww. (GASPS) (GIGGLES) Lilly. What? (CHUCKLES) Very funny. Stop playing with your tail. Kate, you're slouching. Thank you, honey. Do you see how strong and beautiful you are? (SNIFFS) Eugh! Oh, my. Any food... ..is a blessing, dear. Winston, come join us for dinner. Now! Hmm! Thank you, honey. Scraps and bones is no kind of dinner, not for my pack. (SIGHS) I'm sorry, Dad. It's just those eastern wolves. It's not your fault, Kate. When they crossed into our territory, they broke pack law. MALE WOLF: Winston! Can-do was jumped by a group of eastern wolves. Oh, it ain't nothing. (WINCES) Quickly, bring him into the den. Winston, honey, whoever did this, let's rip his tail off and shove it down his throat. Sir, are we just gonna let them keep raiding our hunts and... Put our Alphas on alert. Already done, sir. Good job. HUMPHREY: Guys, honestly, caribou is overrated. Instead... Now, keep an open mind. I just want you to have an open mind here. ..we bring you berries. ALL GROWL Uh, oh. (CHUCKLES) How about squirrels? BOTH SCREAM Bad joke. Flying squirrels. (CHUCKLES) (HOWLS) HOWLING IN DISTANCE Winston! Tony! You're looking good. Oh! (CHUCKLES) Ow, my back feels like wood. I got this disc that keeps cracking. Oh ` drives me crazy. Yeah, Tony, you are one crazy wolf. Yeah? Yeah. Like that little game of tag during our hunt. Let's leave the playing to the Omegas. You know there's no caribou left in the east. You got a problem. Unite the packs, Winston! It was you who gave the big speech that your daughter Kate and my son Garth would marry and unite the packs. Huh? Garth knows his responsibility. Does Kate? Mmm. Don't worry. She knows. Good. Then she can meet Garth tonight at the moonlight howl. I won't let my pack starve, Winston. If we have to, we'll fight for the valley. That would be a big mistake. Kate! I... It's, uh... Its OK, Dad. I understand. It's...it's my responsibility. Whoa! Ahh! Oh, whoa, whoa! WOLVES CHATTER AND LAUGH Guys, we gotta get ready for the moonlight howl. WOLVES CONTINUE CHATTERING Guys ` girls. WOLVES: Ohh! Girls? WOLVES YAP AND CHATTER EXCITEDLY FUNKY MUSIC Whoo! You are...cool. (GUFFAWS) Yeah, yeah, yeah. So let me go ahead...er, prepare the girls for your arrival and you guys meet me there. Game on. Oh, girls. Yes! (YAPS) Oh, Kate, you look so beautiful. Now, if Garth gets out of line, take those beautiful teeth of yours, go for the throat and don't let go until the body stops shaking. (CLEARS THROAT) If my little girl doesn't wanna do this, if she's not ready... Don't worry, Dad. I'm ready. (CHUCKLES) Come on, Lilly. OK, OK. FUNKY UPBEAT MUSIC (HOWLS) (HOWLS) (HOWLS) (HOWLS) Oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh oh-oh-oh BOTH: Oh, oh oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh-oh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh BOTH: Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh Ooh, ooh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh-oh Oh, oh, oh-oh-oh, oh-oh-oh... MUSIC CONTINUES WOLVES GIGGLE AND CHATTER EXCITEDLY FEMALE WOLF: Your fur... it looks fantastic tonight. FEMALE WOLF 2: Oh, my gosh, I had a... Omega alert. Whoa, whoa! Ohh! I will handle this. It totally relaxes the knots. Hey. Hey. That's all I've got. BOTH GIGGLE Wow. This is a new feeling. I saw the whole thing, guys, and, um, I cannot believe they didn't just fall all over you. When you yelled, 'Hey', oh, I thought you cinched it right there. So you think you can do better? Oh, please. The next girl that comes up the hill, she's mine. Whoa! I've never seen her look that good. Wow. Kate is hot! Arggh! Whoa-ho! Uh... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) I'll be right back. Hey. Whoa! Where do you think you're going? Humphrey, you know the rules. You're not allowed to howl with her. She's an Alpha. We can eat together. But we can't, you know, howl together. Guys, I know. I...I was just... ..kidding. Cheer up, buddy. You still got us. Friends for life! Oh, my gosh! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa, ugly. Ohh! Arggh! (GRUNTS) LILLY: So do you see Garth? Great. I'm not even sure what he looks like, but I'm sure... (GASPS) ..we'll know him when we see him. Hey, Kate. What? Uh, Garth. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Wow. (WHISPERS) Lilly, stand up. Garth, hello. Good to see you. Humphrey! Oh, my butt! My butt! Wow, that really hurt. (GARTH COUGHS) You should really do something about that cough. Be careful, Kate. There's something going around. Tails and ears are falling off, literally. Name's Humphrey. (CONTINUES COUGHING) Garth. Wow. You are a... you are a big one, aren't you? Well, you're practically a moose. Where you hiding them antlers? Who's the coyote? "Who's the coyote?" Oh, I get it. That's good, cause I'm, like... No-one important. Lilly, why don't you take little coyote Humphrey and run along? Mm-mm! Oh! Come on, Humphrey. Let's go eat some of those bitter berries. WOLVES HOWL TUNEFULLY KATE: So tell me about yourself. What does Garth like to do? Oh, well, I'm really into fitness, you know? Rabbit sprints, tree squats. (GRUNTS) GIRLS GASP You know us Alphas gotta keep fit to lead the pack. But what really gets me going is... (INHALES DEEPLY) (HOWLS SHRILLY) WOLVES STOP HOWLING SHRILL HOWLS ECHO SILENCE Was it, er, good for you? Unbelievable. (CHUCKLES) Um, you know, er, I've just...just... Hold on a sec, 'cause I'm gonna be right back. I, uh...I need some water. Some water, OK? So I'll... Just hold on. Oh, oh! Oww. (CHUCKLES) No worries. Er, I'll just, er, keep my vocal cords warm. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Yeah. Oh, he's no-one important. "Just take little coyote Humphrey and run along." (HUFFS) Coyote. (PUFFS) (SIGHS) Arggh! Arggh! - ARGGH! (HUFFS) - (CHUCKLES) Where's Barf? It's Garth. And we're just taking a little break. A break? What? Is that so strange? No! No, no, no, no. Are you kidding? I always like to take a break 10 minutes into a howl. Well, I do. Your, uh, howling partner, he's not a...he's not a 'stud'. Not a stud but, like, it's like 'stud' but, um... A dud! A dud. That's it. Isn't he? Ha! (SCOFFS) No. He is not a dud. In fact, Humphrey, you'd be surprised to find that he is, uh... (STAMMERS) Strong! Yes, yes! Strong! And he's...he's... Proud! Yes! Yes, proud. And he's... What's the word I'm looking for? Uh... An Alpha's Alpha! That is right! He is an Alpha's Alpha. Ooh! You make me so mad! Uhh! Oh, hey, I was just kidding. Huh, you're kind of cute. Really? You think... (SPEAKS NONSENSE) So, wow. OK, cute, yeah. That's... Look. (GIGGLES) Thank you, first of all, but do you mean cute in a, like, a rugged...kind of handsomely 'cute'? Ow! Again with the butt. These mosquitoes are out of control. Ooh! (CHUCKLES) I'll meet you on Mars ` ooh! ` right after I eat the Milky Way. Oh, that sounds good. (GIGGLES) (SLURS) Save some for me... (HICCUPS) Bag them up, boys. We're going to Idaho. Oh, you got it, chief. OK, there we go. Good shot there. GARTH HOWLS WEAKLY HOWLS WEAKLY Kate? CONTINUES HOWLING GEESE SQUAWK HOWLS FAINTLY ENGINE CHURNS AND REVS DRAMATIC MUSIC KATE: Ow! Where am I? Ow! HUMPHREY GROANS Humphrey? Ohh... Is that you? Kate, where are we? I don't know. Oh, maybe were dead. BOTH: Ow! Nope, definitely not dead. Ow! Well, at least they left us some water. You got water? (SPITS) Nope, definitely not water. KATE GRUNTS Kate! What are you doing?! Trying to get out. (YELLS) Ohh! Whoa, calm down. Listen, maybe they're taking us to where there's more food. Or maybe we are the food. Oh, Kate, you're right. Fight. Fight, fight, fight! KATE GRUNTS AND GROANS MAN: Yep. (GRUNTS) Alright, set them free. Whoo-hoo! Look at them go! (GASPS) Wow! This isn't Jasper. HUMPHREY PANTS Yeah, but it sure does... Rock! Quick, get down! Ohh! What are they doing? (ENGLISH ACCENT) What a smashingly brilliant story this is. The golfing goose from the lower regions of the Arctic Circle is leading the pack. He's using the wrong club. (GASPS) Um, could you do me a favour, Needles, and, um, shut the hole that makes the words? Looks like they're playing some sort of weird game. Maybe they can tell us how to get home. Yeah, and if they can't, we can eat them. Yeah. Follow my lead. Ohh! Ohh... Whoa. Uhh! Oh, oh... Yeah, I'm right behind you. (WINCES) (FRENCH ACCENT) Now you will see this shot is mine. Oh! Splendid! Wonderful hit, sir. Ohh! Huh? Phew! (SQUAWKS) GOLF BALL BANGS WOMAN: Just a minute! ALL LAUGH Huh? Arggh! ALL EXCLAIM Its ugly, but a good runner. Mm, mm, mm! Arggh! Did you see that? Did you see that? I guess the birdie ruined your birdie. (CHUCKLES) You mark it birdie because it would have gone in. Technically, sir, it MIGHT have gone in. That silly bird stopped my shot from going in, so I will not take an extra stroke. Mark it birdie! Well, it...it was an obstacle. And everyone has to play with the obstacles. (GULPS) You know, we wouldn't want to lie. This is not a lie. This is not a lie if you are French. Well, French-Canadian. There's a slash... a hyphen in between them. I say French. Canadian. French. Canadian. French! Canadian, sir. May I just say, though, that you are a wonderful golfer. Huh-huh! Merci. And you are a very good caddie. (STAMMERS) Take off! Paddy, what is wrong with you? ALL YELP (GASPS) Ah, hello. (CHUCKLES) You are two wolves. I have not seen many wolves in these parts. But I am not afraid of wolves. No. I like wolves. (LAUGHS) Good, cause we just want to ask you a few questions. Oh, yes. Quick! Look behind you! Ohh! Grab him! Ohh! So you want to face the French resistance? That's French-Canadian! Oh, my butt! My butt! My butt! (SIGHS) Omegas. (SQUAWKS) This is not a game anymore! Do you wash your feet? Look, look, trees! (CHUCKLES) PADDY: Oh, nice turn, sir. Oh! Nice one, sir. Gotcha! Ha-ha-ha! Oh, no! Ow, ooh, ow! (GRUNTS AND GROANS) Oh, that's gotta hurt. How do you like it now, wolf? Ow! (WHIMPERS) Hole in one, sir. You have bit off more than you can chew this time, my friend. Help! My goodness, look out for the... Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no! Oh, he's a goner for sure. THUD! Huh? (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) Oh, oh, oh, whoa! What are you looking at? What are you looking at? Oh, hey, Frank. (SQUAWKS) Arggh! Ohh! Arggh! Whoa, whoa, whoa. BOTH SCREAM OK, you have a question? Yeah, where are we? Idaho?! Ida-who? Oui, Idaho, land of mountains, rivers, lakes, and a few billion potatoes. Sawtooth National Wilderness. What are we doing in Idaho? You were relocated to, um... (CHUCKLES) ..repopulate. Uhh! They want you big wolves to make a lot of little wolves. BOTH LAUGH Sounds good to me. A park shouldn't be without some wolves. I mean, if only for the good of the park. So you two are undomesticated partners? Paddy, please, don't be rude. So you two are... (VOICE ECHOES) ..boyfriend, girlfriend, huh? You are an item? (CHUCKLES) Well... No. You wolves, you are funny! (SIGHS) We have to get home NOW. There's gonna be trouble if I don't get back to Jasper. Alright, alright. You're freaking out. I'm not freaking out. I just have to get home. Is this about Barf? It's Garth. And it's about responsibilities, so I don't expect you to understand. Huh. Can you help me? I need to get home fast. Alright, Miss Fast. CRACK! Ohh! Where is home, sweet home? Jasper Park, Canada. Jasper Park? Get out of here. We love Jasper Park! Oh, yes, yes. We've toured it many times. Paddy, please. We've toured it many times. I dated a pintail from Jasper once. She never stopped quacking. Drove me nuts. Drove her right to me. (CHUCKLES) Bound to happen, bound to happen. So you can help me, then, get home? We haven't played Jasper in quite a while. I think it would be a smashing idea. Ohh! This is true. So of course I will help. I like you two. You make me laugh. Ha-ha! And you didn't eat me, so I owe you favour. Ohh! Where did she go? Maybe I should ask you. You know that's not my style. My wolf, Can-do, knows your style. (SNARLS) (GROWLS) I just want to say one thing. (SWEETLY) If any of you wolves have hurt my daughter, I will personally rip out your eyes and shove them down your throat... (YELLS) ..so you can see my claws tear your carcass open! Whoa! (YELPS) Um, Mom? Not now, dear. Mommy's in a rage. Well, since Kate stood up Garth, I could show him around until she gets back. (SCOFFS) I wouldn't say stood up. FEMALE WOLF: Garth! (GULPS) Sounds good to me. Well, come on, Garth. (SNARLS) (WHIMPERS) Oh, isn't that sweet? She gets it from me. I'll give her till the full moon. (GROWLS) MAN ON RADIO: It is beautiful out there. Almost makes you want to hit the potato patch. If you haven't already hit the outdoors, get on out your door! The weather today is... Your ride home. Quick, get in! Huh? What? Boxed up twice in one day. What are the odds? DOOR OPENS BOTH: Hide! PADDY: That right there is Garn and Debbie Theocarpus. Lucky for you, they travel every year to Jasper right after Sawtooth. The day's looking pretty and so is my woman. Aw. ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO Oh, this is the song we met to. Come here, you. Let's dance. ALL GASP Under here. Move it. Hurry. Now, he was in a motorcycle gang and she was a librarian and... PADDY: Opposites attract, if you will. Exactly. In this case, it was a bookstore that also sold beer. So they met. (SINGS QUIETLY TO MUSIC) Come on. We have to get in. MUSIC CONTINUES ON STEREO, WOMAN GIGGLES (GASPS) MAN: Alright, here we go. WOMAN SINGS CHEERFULLY MAN: Do, do, do... You're just a dream. I'm like a little bunny. Aren't I, dear? Ooh! (GIGGLES) Oh! I love you, Deb. Oh, I love you too. (CHUCKLES) Uh-uh. Get inside now. Get inside. Quick. Oh, well, back in a box. Arggh! Good luck, you two! We will be watching out for you from above! Well, I'll be watching out for you. He will be breathing heavily. ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR STEREO Huh. # I'd been down so long # Since the dark clouds came along # But the fire is back and the right track is coming to get me. # TONY: If we have to, we'll fight for the valley. (VOICE ECHOES) Fight...fight...fight... WOLVES SNARL (CHUCKLES) Humphrey? (IMITATES WAILING GUITAR SOLO) # I've been to the fountain # Felt the cold winds blow # Desert dry and the mountain high... (TURNS UP VOLUME) # I can burn it down below # You know, I'm on the loose again # I'm on the loose... Ha-ha! Whoo! (LAUGHS) Whoo-hoo! ENGINE ROARS Arggh! So why is this called Rabbit Poo Mountain? Because this is where rabbits like to poo. Eugh, eugh. Oh, oh, eugh! (GIGGLES) I was just kidding. (CHUCKLES) Oh, I get it. You're a funny Omega. Mm-hm. OK, make me laugh. Um, um... What am I? Er... you got me. It's a turtle that fell and can't get up. That's pretty good. OK, what's this? Ugh... Hmm. It's turtle road kill. (LAUGHS) What else can you do? I just do turtles. OK, it's my turn. You wanna see something an Alpha can do? Uh, would my mother approve? Of course. Well, OK, then. Keep searching. We must find her before tomorrow night. (SNIFFS) Winston. Don't worry, Eve. She's the finest Alpha I've trained. I'm not, Winston. She's also the finest Alpha I've ever trained. TYRES SQUEAL Mmm... We stopped. CAR DOOR CLOSES Huh? (GASPS) (GRUNTS) HUMPHREY MOANS AND WHIMPERS What's wrong with you? I have to go. You can't leave! Can't you hold it? No, I can't. Well, did you try crossing your legs? Yes! Holding your breath? Yes! I almost passed out. Closing your eyes and... In or out, I am going. Would you hurry? Da-da-da-da! I can't go when I feel pressured. Go! What is he doing? Jeez, the packaging's wolf-proof. (YAPS) Where is he? (GASPS) Come on, Humphrey! Oh, hey. It's a rabid wolf! Max, bring that gun! This is it for you, wolf. Any last wishes? LIQUID TRICKLES Eugh. (CHUCKLES) ENGINE STARTS Uh-oh. Ohh! Arggh! Max, they're getting away! Not if I can help it. No! We're trapped. I got you both now. Shoot them! Oh, nicely done, Max. OK, thinking with my belly instead of my head, not a good idea. I get it. I say we build a comfy den... I'm going home. Oh, great. You're going home and it's raining. I'm not stopping. (SINGS) Rain, rain, go away # Get out of here, rain # No-one wants you... What are you doing? It's, uh, a rain dance, to stop it from raining. Duh! # Cause you're wet and you really are gonna ruin our day... Humphrey, rain dances make it rain. THUNDER CRACKS Oh, right! Well, er, I'll just do it backwards. (SINGS NONSENSICALLY IN REVERSE) Hmm, that actually worked. Oh! (CHUCKLES) Kate? (SIGHS) That's not a good idea. Hold on, Kate! THUNDER CRACKS (YELPS) Ugh... Oh! (GRUNTS) No! Ohh! Hold on, Kate! I'm coming! Oh, let me think, let me think. Hey! Ohh... Arggh! Humphrey! (BELLOWS LIKE TARZAN) (WHIMPERS) Don't worry, Kate. It's all part of the plan. I can see that. Oh, oh! Kate, Kate, grab my tail. Grab your what? Take those Alpha jaws and grab... Ohh! My tail, my tail! Uhh... Whoa. Kate, wiggle. Wiggle around. (GRUNTS) Oh, that tickles. That tickles. Oh, my tail! It hurts! (GIGGLES) Who knew I was ticklish there? Oh, I can't take any more. (GRUNTS) Arggh! (GASPS) Oh, no. Oh, my gosh. Humphrey? Humphrey?! Arggh! Your tail! I'm so sorry. My tail's actually fine... (YELLS) ..last time I checked. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) Come on. Let's get out of the rain. OK. Thank you. Sir, we've searched the entire territory. Still no sign of Kate. Sir? We must defend our territory. (YAWNS) MALE: Fore! Ohh! (GASPS) Well, well, well. What do we have here? I say, we've caught them at quite the bad time. No, I'd say we caught them at a good time. Indeed, sir. Indeed. What are you doing here? No, the question is what are YOU doing here? I give you a first-class ticket home... Yes, a straight shot right to the pin. And you blow it? Yep, over a cupcake. Oh, ridiculous dessert, cupcake. Well, actually, they're quite delicious. There has to be another way for us to get to Jasper. Another way? Another way?! Always another way. What am I, a travel agent? Come on. What? Are you kidding me? A great sportsman like yourself always knows a few ways to win the game. Well, there could be a train. Actually, there is a train. It's the Canadian Express and... Paddy, please. It's called the Canadian Express... Yes, and it shoots right by Jasper Park... Right by Jasper Park. If you can catch it... You'll be home in no time. No time. Very fast. Great. So where do we board? Where do you board? Watch this. On the other side of that mountain. Paddy, please. Come on! ..let it slip, but may I say, that was a stupendous shot. You may, and it was pretty good, wasn't it? Indeed, sir. Indeed. Wow. Voila! Dinner for two. It's a new move I've been working on for stalking prey. You're good. Thanks. Now you try. Oh, no. I...I'm not much of a hunter. Come on. You'll do great. Just do what I do. OK. Ready? One. One. Two. Two. Three! (GASPS) (SCREAMS) (SOFTLY) Ow. Lilly! (GRUNTS AND YELPS) Lilly? Ohh, ohh... (CHUCKLES) A turtle, right? I told you, I don't hunt. Maybe this will help. Wow. Wow, what? Your eyes. They're beautiful. Oh. Uh, come on. Let's try again. HUMPHREY: It sure is pretty up here. KATE: Yeah. I'll race you to the top. You're on. Give it up, Humphrey. You'll never beat me. Humphrey? Oh! (LAUGHS) Ha! Ha-ha-ha! Omega ` one. Alpha ` zero. Huh! Arggh! OK, OK, enough, enough. Stop! Stop! I get it, I get it, I get it. How's that for a girl's throw? Very funny. (LAUGHS) Well, look who's having fun. You know, I should go check on the train. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. (GIGGLING) Oh. Hey, there. Wow. What are you? Well, I'm a wolf. I've never seen a wolf. You are really strange. Oh-ho-ho, am I, now? (GIGGLES) You're totally weird. (LAUGHS) HUMPHREY: What are you doing? I'm going to get you! (GROWLS PLAYFULLY) Whoa! (LAUGHS) Ow, ow! (HUMPHREY CHUCKLES) Oh, no. Look out! Oh, look out! Ohh! Oh, hey. (LAUGHS) OK, you asked for it. (SNIFFLES) Oh, no, no, no. Hey, it's OK, it's OK. (CRIES) Shh. I'm really sorry. (LAUGHS, IMITATES GROWLING) Oh, poo. (PANTS AND GASPS) Mad bear. Mad bear! Kate, get the snowballs ready! Mad bear on the attack! TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS Oh, the Canadian Express! Humphrey, the train is coming! KATE! Humphrey? Ohh! What's wrong with you? That! (BELLOWS AND ROARS) Don't move. We can handle this. We can? BEARS GROWL AND SNARL OK, were in trouble. Hey, guys. You guys like jokes? Good. OK, so two bears are eating a clown. And one of the bears says, "Does this taste funny to you?" Ow! A simple boo would have sufficed. Oh, man. BEARS ROAR Oh! BEARS GROWL AND ROAR, KATE GRUNTS Arggh! Ohh! (SNARLS) Watch this. One more, one more. Oh-ha-ha! Get up. Kate, get up. BEARS SNARL AND GROWL Where are those two? Why must they make this so difficult? I believe the term is "high-maintenance couple," sir. Uh, stuck between the cliffs and the claws. This isn't good. BEARS ROAR Uh... Good luck joking your way out of this one. Uh, what...what's your name, sir? (GROWLS) 'Growl'. Alright. (BELLOWS) BOTH: Arggh! Whoa! Do you...do you need a hug? (ROARS) Why don't we talk? Can we just talk? (BELLOWS) BOTH: Arggh! Good talk! KATE AND HUMPHREY: Arggh! (GROWLS) Oh! (KATE GRUNTS) Whoa! Arggh! (ROARS) Whoa! Oh, arggh! Whoa... Ha-ha-ha! Hey, need a ride? (ROARS) Jump! Trust me! Ohh! I told you you could trust me. (CHUCKLES) Hang a left! Go right! Yee-ha! (GROWLS) BOTH: Arggh! Uh... Why are you looking at me like that? BOTH: Whoa! (BELLOWS) Unbelievable! They have missed the train. ALL YELL BEAR ROARS KATE AND HUMPHREY: Ohh! Oh. Or not. BOTH LAUGH TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWS HOWLS SHRILLY Ooh. I know. It's not very good, is it? Well... (HUMPHREY LAUGHS) That was so awesome. You with the snowballs. (LAUGHS) And you with that little bear in that snowball fight ` it was so cute! Oh, man. Wham, wham, wham! But then you with the log! The look on your face was so good! And then we... BOTH: Whoa! BOTH LAUGH You know, we make a pretty good team. Kate and Humphrey, world adventurers! What do you think? I think you're crazy. You think I'm cra... Oh. No, no, I'm telling you, we're onto something here. Hey, stick with me, pup. We'll go places. (CHUCKLES) Well, I'll keep that in mind. Alright. Take a deep breath. Howl from right here. And I'll join in. (HOWLS) # Ooh, ooh ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. Humphrey, what are you doing? Oh, I'm sorry. The moon, the moment. I just thought... Oh, come on, Kate. Howl at the moon with me. # Ohh, ohh, ohh # Oh-oh-oh-oh! (HOWLS SMOOTHLY) (HOWLS SWEETLY) # Ooh, ooh, ooh... # Ooh, ooh, ooh... BOTH HOWL IN HARMONY HUMPHREY HOWLS TUNEFULLY # Whoa, ohh, ohh # Ohh-ohh-ohh, oh-oh BOTH HOWL HARMONIOUSLY BOTH: # Oh, oh, oh # Oh-oh, oh-oh, oh-oh, whoa # Ohh, ohh # Ohh # Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh... # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah # Whoa, whoo-hoo-hoo! (LAUGHS) # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... See? That's so good. # Ooh, yeah, yeah... TWIG CRACKS Oh, no. You better go. But no-one has to know. Please, go now. Oh, no. (GROWLS) Dad... Howling with an Omega, are we? I was just... Get with the others. What's going on? Were going to take the valley and our caribou. WOLVES SNARL AND GROWL (PANTS) Dad! Lilly, what's wrong? The eastern wolves, they're coming! Come on! Just do it. She howled at the moon with you. (HOWLS SOFTLY) Oh, that was just the moment. Bonjour, my furry friend. Huh? Huh? What? BOTH EXCLAIM Are you guys crazy? Well, that's up for debate. And where is... Oh, mademoiselle! She's sleeping, so be quiet. Ah, yes, quiet. Shh. BOTH EXCLAIM (QUACKS) Arggh, arggh! Oh, oh, ohh! What are you guys doing here? Making sure that you don't forget the run of the course. Jasper Park, it is a few miles up. Do not miss it. Jasper, few miles, got it. Good. I've got to say, your girlfriend looks quite pretty when she sleeps. She's not my girlfriend. BOTH: Ohh! PADDY GROANS You should work on that! WOLVES GROWL AND SNARL It's the full moon, Winston. I can see that, Tony. I didn't want it to come to this. But here we are. (BOTH CHANT) Stop the insanity! Go organic! Stop the insanity! Go organic! Stop the insanity! Go organic! Oh, yeah, uh-huh. (GROWLING) (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) (SIGHS) Kate. Kate, wake up, wake up. Humphrey? Where are we? We're...we're in Jasper. Well, we're home. Yep...we're home. There's something... There's something... Please, you first. Humphrey, I just wanted to tell you these past couple of days, they've been kind of...fun. You've been kind of...fun. Really? Really. Well, that's...that's great. I told you, we make a pretty good team. We do. OK, um, well... No, no, no. Don't tell me. You have to go to the bathroom again? Why? Do you see a truck stop? (CHUCKLES) I just wanted to tell you I...I... Um, I just wanted to tell you... Oh, no. I'd lo... (SNARLING) Oh, jeez. WOLVES GROWL AND SNARL All I asked was for you to follow our customs, unite the packs. But, no, your daughter had to up and run away. I didn't run away! Kate! She's back! (MUNCHES) Oh! Huh? Oh. We were so worried. Where have you been? In Idaho. Idaho? What were you doing in Idaho? We were taken by humans to another park. We were supposed to repopulate. (SNARLS) No, no, no! Mom, we didn't repopulate. Humphrey actually helped me get home. (CHOKES) (GASPS AND PANTS) Oh, what a nice boy. I came back... You came back to marry Garth. Yes. (GASPS) And unite the packs! WOLVES CHEER AND HOWL ALL HOWL Good for the pack, good for the belly. Marry? You're getting married? Yes. Um, isn't it great? No more fighting during hunts. No more scraps and bones at dinnertime. We're going to unite the packs. ALL CHATTER EXCITEDLY Welcome back, Humphrey. Good job bringing her home. Whoa, oh! Arggh! BOYS CHATTER AND LAUGH Wow. It's a big crowd. Yeah. Good times. So I heard you and Garth spent some time together. Ow! Lilly! Sorry. I'm sure he's perfect marrying material. (GROWLS MUFFLEDLY) Well, if you like that sort of thing... (SPITS) ..big, brawny and perfect. Hmm. Lilly, you're wearing your fur back! Sorry. I know. But...I liked it. Right on the pin. Marcel! Paddy! When it comes to hugs, we are all French, eh, Paddy? Well, I'm English, so we don't hug. But for a first, I'd say that was a good one. I'm so happy to see you two. We flew in to see that you made it home. And what do we find? Voila, you're getting married! You're getting married! BOTH LAUGH NERVOUSLY Um, yeah, I'm getting married. Who told you? HUMPHREY: I did. Humphrey. Oh, we should be going. Yes, yes. Oh, excuse me ` little flea. It's a little something for your big day. Thank you. Just wanted to say goodbye. Goodbye? Yeah, I'm thinking about doing a little travelling, you know, seeing where the train takes me. And maybe I'll visit our friends the bears. (GROWLS PLAYFULLY) Our old buddies, see how they're doing. I'll tell them you said hi. (CHUCKLES) Wait. But you're leaving Jasper? Yeah. You know, it's a lone wolf thing. Well, I know Humphrey the fun-loving Omega, not Humphrey the lone wolf. So I'll be a fun-loving lone wolf. I don't doubt that. You know, Marcel, I am a stickler for tradition, but this one I just don't understand. These wolves are mysterious creatures. Tony. GARTH: So... ..are you ready? Yes. Good. Are you OK? Ha-ha, you bet. No problems on this end. Ready to go, go, go. So you want to start this thing or me? We'll start together. Start together, yeah. So what's happening? They're accepting each others scent. Oh, oh, and now the nibble on the ears. HUMPHREY: Do you think I can make it? Yes, sir, and just as you hit the tracks, you should see an open train car. Well, avoid truck stops, bears, and that hideous dessert. What is it called? Cupcakes, sir. Yes, cupcakes. I will. Thanks, guys. You know, you shouldn't be so judgmental about cupcakes. They really are quite delicious. I wouldn't know. Oh, and finally they will rub noses to symbolise that they are...mates. (SOBS) (SNIFFLES) (SNIFFS) Huh? Kate, what are you doing? I... ..I can't. You can't! Ha-ha! I mean...you can't? What is this, Winston? Why can't she marry Garth? Quiet. Kate, Kate. Why can't you marry Garth? Because I... (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) ..I, uh, fell in love with an Omega. An Omega?! Oh! Humphrey? That sly dog! Ha-ha! (GROWLS AND LAUGHS) An Alpha in love with an Omega? That's against pack law. Dad, I also am in love with an Omega. (GASPS) TONY: What?! (SOBS) What have you done to my son, Winston? An Omega and an Alpha? An Alpha and an Omega? Eve, help me out. Ohh! (GROWLS) This is madness. This isn't our custom. This isn't our way! Take the valley! ALL GROWL AND SNARL I just love weddings. BIRDS SQUAWK ALL GRUNT DEEPLY Stampede! Stampede! Everyone, run! Run! To the sides of the valley! HOOVES RUMBLE Arggh! It's that darn disc in my back. Ohh! Come on! Ohh! Oh, no. They're trapped! Humphrey! Kate! We have to help them. Look! Faster, Tony! Faster! Roll left! Roll right! Oh, you're getting good at this. I had a good teacher. They're too far ahead. We'll never make it! Hold on. Look! World adventurers. I told you we make a good team. Did you say that? I thought I said that. KATE GRUNTS Kate! Ohh! Arggh! Oh! BOTH GROWL Kate? Kate? Please, Kate. Please, you can't do this. I love you. (HOWLS MOURNFULLY) (CONTINUES HOWLING) (HOWLS) (HOWLS) ALL HOWL SORROWFULLY (HOWLS) (GROANS) Kate! (MOANS) Humphrey? I thought I lost you. Is everyone staring at us? Well, uh, no, not every... Well, yeah, now they are. Oh, darn, 'cause I wanted to tell you something. (WHISPERS) Well... (CHUCKLES) Really? Uh-huh. OK, well, I wanted to tell you something too. (WHISPERS) (GIGGLES) (CHUCKLES) Maybe this can work. Oh... (GROWLS) Alright. (GASPS) Garth? WOLVES HOWL HAPPILY Tony, what do two old wolves do after they retire? Gentlemen, may I introduce you to golf? Fore! UPBEAT MUSIC ALL HOWL HAPPILY Oh, yeah. Oh, that's good. Yeah. (SINGS) # Ooh, ooh # Whoa, oh, oh # Oh, oh, oh, oh... Come on, honey. Let's show 'em how it's done. You ready to shake your tail? (LAUGHS) (HOWLS SMOOTHLY) Oh, now, that's a howl. WOLVES ALL HOWL TUNEFULLY Are you ready? Oh, yeah, ready. BOTH HOWL HARMONIOUSLY CHEERFUL MUSIC www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018