Meanwhile, Jo's been my new best friend. I could leave. Get a job. Move back in. I'm sorry. How about a movie? How about a movie? I don't think that's a real good idea. I still think it's the drugs that are making you feel bad. You could halve the dose. Since you know best, and you're quite capable of self-medicating, we're done here. It's what you came here for, isn't it? It's what you came here for, isn't it? No! You have grounds for complaint. Who do you think they're going to believe? Were this sort of trouble were to happen again, I've got no choice but to get you sectioned. Captions by Anne Langford. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Question seven. Snow White's wicked stepmother was an evil queen, but what was her real name? Jo. It was not. May as well be. May as well be. What was it really? May as well be. What was it really? No idea. Question eight. Which villainess turns into a serpent at the end of the movie? Jo. Jo. Yeah, yeah. It was the bad fairy from Sleeping Beauty. She used to give me nightmares as a kid. Sorry, what are we on? Sorry, what are we on? Disney villainesses. Ooh, that's very specific. Ooh, that's very specific. We're caning it. Ooh, that's very specific. We're caning it. We're not. You all right? You all right? Yeah. Yeah. I think it's, um, Maleficent. I think it's, um, Maleficent. Or... Jo. Question nine. In the live action remake of 101 Dalmatians, Cruella de Vil was played by which actress? Definitely` Definitely` Leave it alone, OK? Have I missed something? Have I missed something? Not really. Well, she could have won an Oscar for today's performance. So, yeah, tonight we're dropping Maggie off for babysitting... Good of you to do this, buddy. Yeah, yeah. It's for five bucks an hour, right? Celeste is helping too, isn't she? Celeste is helping too, isn't she? Ah, probably. Well, we won't be long. Gidday. Hi. (SNIFFS) Is this your little girl? Yes. Look, I'm sure we can work something out. It's very kind of you to even think about it. I can't believe you're even thinking about it. I can't believe you're even thinking about it. About what? We can talk about it at home. We can talk about it at home. Get this. The gardener wants to sell the house to get his cash out, and Jo comes round wanting Mac to bail her out! and Jo comes round wanting Mac to bail her out! It's not exactly how it is. (LAUGHS) 'Save me, Mac. Save me!' (LAUGHS) 'Save me, Mac. Save me!' She wants a loan so she won't have to sell the house. Well, tell her to get one. > Well, tell her to get one. > She's still on maternity leave, and her job's looking dicey. What? And you look like a bank? What? And you look like a bank? I think it was Glenn Close. What's this? What's this? Cruella de Vil ` the remake. Question 10. Which villainess' catchphrase was, 'Off with their heads'? It's not that simple, all right? The kids need a place to live. Are you paying for the gardener's kid as well? Are you paying for the gardener's kid as well? Arborist. He does trees. Is it the Red Queen? Is it the Red Queen? I think it's the Queen of Hearts. Is it the Red Queen? I think it's the Queen of Hearts. That always makes me think of Diana. What are you on about? What are you on about? Princess Diana. When she died, it was so sad. MC: Which villainess' catchphrase...? The point is ` you can't let her get to ya. I mean, you're with me on this, aren't ya? Who said, 'Off with their heads'? Who said, 'Off with their heads'? Jo. Or was it 'off with their balls'? Get your answers in now. And did you know we have a famous person in the house tonight? Oh yes. You got there! To get there, ask your doctor if Aphrodelle is right for you. APPLAUSE, CHEERS Nice Work. You got there. You got there. It's not that far to the bar. It's so cool you get to be in the ad! Though you could have used my idea. It's a slightly older target market. It's a slightly older target market. Yeah, we can't all be young and groovy. Guess what? I got a beer commercial. It's Japanese! Isn't that awesome? Guess what? I got a beer commercial. It's Japanese! Isn't that awesome? Awesome. Your account? Your account? Good old-fashioned beer rebrand. You know, Aphrodelle's not the only thing that works with the ladies. (CHUCKLES) It's great that Frank and Celeste offered. It's great that Frank and Celeste offered. Frank'll be doing most of the work. Oh, does Celeste not like babies? Oh, does Celeste not like babies? She hasn't had that much to do with them. Right. Um. I might just give them a call and see how they're going. Oh, the anxious first-time mother. Oh, the anxious first-time mother. What? Emma. The babysitting thing. Emma. The babysitting thing. Yeah. Are you all right? Are you all right? Ah, it's been a pretty shitty week. But there's been nothing else from David? But there's been nothing else from David? He's made his point. Oh, about that complaint thing. I don't think I can go through with it. David's got all the cards. Look, what he did to you was monstrous, but he's not all powerful. He was trying to scare you. He was trying to scare you. Yeah, well, it worked. You know, every time I hear a car outside or hear a knock on my door, I think that they're coming to get me. Come see me tomorrow. Come see me tomorrow. No, I said I can't do that. Just a check-up. Boring doctor stuff, that's all. (EXHALES) OK, I'll check my schedule. MC: Fourth on 78 points, we have Sex On A Stick. > We suck! The Old Farts were third on 80, and second were Yummy Mummies. > The Old Farts were third on 80, and second were Yummy Mummies. > ALL WHOOP But the winners tonight on 86 points are the Marathon Men. ALL: # Marathon. # Marathon Men! (SIGHS) I might go. (SIGHS) I might go. Yeah, not the best result. Hey, is she on with him? He got her a job. It's amazing how some women just click their fingers. Three words, mate. Don't go there. See ya. See ya. See ya. See ya. Is she all right? Is she all right? Yeah. She just needs a little TLC. Well, um, if this is over... Well, um, if this is over... Yeah, let's go and see if the little nipper's still alive. Not the kind of thing you joke about. Not the kind of thing you joke about. It's all part of my charm. Thank you so much for this. Cheers, guys. All right. You all right with this? Cheers, guys. All right. You all right with this? Fine. > See ya later. See ya later. See ya, mate. See ya later. See ya, mate. ALL: Bye. See ya. Bye. How was it really? How was it really? Oh, no worse than Tobias. Night. I'm never having a baby. Ever! Well, that's a bonus. Well, that's a bonus. Modelling is way easier. So you win some, you lose some. They seem good, don't they? They seem good, don't they? Sorry? Brian and Emma ` for people who have broken up and got back together again. They do. Tea? Or do we need a wine? Or do we need a wine? Not for me. Are you annoyed about the Jo thing? Are you annoyed about the Jo thing? We don't have to talk about it now. She's not after half, and it's for short duration because she had more money in the house. You've thought it through? You've thought it through? She was laying it out, and Aphrodelle's been working out... It's none of my business what you do with your money. It's none of my business what you do with your money. Oh, but you do have an opinion. Come on, you can say what you think. This is impossible. If I say what I really think, I'll sound shrewish and unreasonable. So if I lend Jo money, you'd be pissed off. I just think it's odd that she still has these expectations of you. Well, they're still our kids. Well, they're still our kids. Of course. But...? I think she can't let go. Actually, I know she can't. She wants to keep you where she wants you. Meaning what? Involved. Right there in the middle of her life, with a great big stake in it. Well, it's not as if she made Adam leave. Well, it's not as if she made Adam leave. I know. I know. But you asked me what I thought and I... and I knew it would piss you off, and it did` and I knew it would piss you off, and it did` I'm not pissed off. I'm not. You're right. It's my problem. I'll deal with it. Shall we see what's on the box? I might just read. Can we please not argue about these kinds of things? Yeah. Yeah. Especially not about your ex? Yeah. Especially not about your ex? Let's not. I do love you, you know that? I do love you, you know that? I know. Good. It's just an hour off school. It's just an hour off school. And you have internals. It's just an hour off school. And you have internals. Designers don't care about that. And if I get something out of the 'go-tos', it'll be more money than babysitting, which totally sucks, by the way. Morning. Hi. > Is Mac still in? Is Mac still in? Yeah, he is. Great. You have a good day. Great. You have a good day. Yeah. I haven't thought about the money` It's not why I'm here. It's about Noah. I got an email from the school. He failed his internal exams. He failed his internal exams. What? All of them? He failed his internal exams. What? All of them? Yes. He got 37% for English. Don't they send out the results? Don't they send out the results? I think he hid them. Don't they send out the results? I think he hid them. DOOR OPENS Afternoon. Hey. You do know I've heard from the school. So? So? You are failing and your answer is ` so? I told you I want to leave anyway. I told you I want to leave anyway. Since when? I told you I want to leave anyway. Since when? You can't leave. I hate it there. I suck at exams. I'd rather get a job. What kind of job, with no qualifications? I don't care! Anything would be better than school. Oh, it can't be as bad as that. Oh, it can't be as bad as that. I'm 16. I can leave if I want. Don't be ridiculous. Don't be ridiculous. I can leave, and you can't stop me. Don't be ridiculous. I can leave, and you can't stop me. OK, fine. No, it's not fine. Not at all! No, it's not fine. Not at all! If you can find yourself a job, you can leave school. Serious? Serious? But until then you have to go. No job, no leave ` that's the deal. Are we cool with that? Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. You'd better rattle it or you'll miss the bus. Get in the car. I'll drop you. Get in the car. I'll drop you. Sweet. I'll get my stuff. Are you sure this is a good idea? Are you sure this is a good idea? Come on. There are no jobs ` not for kids like him. And he'd actually have to get off his butt and look for one. In the meantime, we'll sort something out with the school. In the meantime, we'll sort something out with the school. That's very clever. Not really. I go head to head with him. And you... I suppose your job does have its uses. Always tell the people what they want to hear. Always tell the people what they want to hear. Andrea loves your ad, by the way. Andrea does? Andrea does? She thinks it's funny. I think she might be using the product. Wonders never cease. Wonders never cease. She has a man in her life. That's even more unbelievable. That's even more unbelievable. Don't be mean. Noah, we are leaving now. Thank you. It's good to know we're on the same team about this. No problem. E Your blood pressure's a little on the low side. Do you get dizzy at all? No. What about your meds? Are you feeling any side effects? Just give me the pills. I'll be fine. Have you thought about seeing another psychiatrist or therapist? Have you thought about seeing another psychiatrist or therapist? You know, I can't really face it. You know, I keep going over everything that happened. Can't believe how stupid I was. Not everyone is like David. Not everyone is like David. Yeah, well I thought I was in control of things. This is not your fault, you know that. You know, the last time that I was happy, like really happy, was that time that I went biking with Richard. was that time that I went biking with Richard. OK. And then he found out, and he upped my meds, and he warned me off Richard. God, I was so offhand with him, because he told me to be. I don't usually do what anyone says. Anyone at all. I don't usually do what anyone says. Anyone at all. I know. Have you thought about contacting Richard at all? Have you thought about contacting Richard at all? Yeah, he won't want to hear from me. Are you sure about that? And biking exercise, it's a good way to take your mind off things. DOGS BARK Come on, girls. Let's go walkies. Top work, mate. You paradoxed his teenage arse! He can't get out of bed to apply for a job. And if he got one? And if he got one? He won't. He's a good kid, but I think things went downhill when he dropped rugby. He's not going to be an All Black. He's not going to be an All Black. He's had it too cushy with you guys. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Maybe he needs a boot camp. No, piss off. One day's hard graft will sort him. He'll run back to school screaming like a girl. That's what I love about you. That's what I love about you. I'm on to it. That's what I love about you. I'm on to it. Your sensitivity at all times. No, I'm serious. You really want to scare the little bugger, leave it with me. What are you doing? By the time I'm through with him, leaving school will be the last thing he wants. Hey, Noah, buddy. It's your big, bad Uncle Brian. I said 6.30. I said 6.30. Well, I'm up, aren't I? I meant up, out front, and ready to go, not yawning and scratching your balls. Come on. Shift your lazy butt. What about breakfast? What about breakfast? you should have thought about that. Come on! Yeah, OK. (CHUCKLES) Trust me. He's not gonna know what's hit him. (CHUCKLES) Trust me. He's not gonna know what's hit him. He still needs to eat. Oh, Jesus, don't mollycoddle the kid. So, what have you got lined up for Noah? A world of pain. I won't leave actual scars, but it's going to get down and dirty. Don't do anything too reckless. Don't do anything too reckless. Well, just think of it as aversion therapy. I hope so. So, how are your babies? Mother A's a pain in the arse, but the kids are great. Now, that reminds me, I should give Emma a call. What for? I've got some baby stuff Tobias has grown out of. I've got some baby stuff Tobias has grown out of. But he's a boy. It's not all blue and pink these days, Brian. These are grey, and lovely quality. And you're helping us out. And you're helping us out. Yeah, well, I'd do anything for my mate. Right. Noah! Pull finger! PILLS RATTLE BEEP! BEEP! CELL PHONE RINGS Hello? Hello? Hi. How are you? I am... fantastic. And you? I'm good. Yeah, I was just wondering what you're up to. Me? Not too much. Um, I was thinking that, you know, that we could catch up, you know, just casually. Sure. So, how are things with the boyfriend? It's over. Right, OK. I don't suppose you feel like a ride today. Bike ride. Don't you have work? Don't you have work? Hey, you know me. Lycra man. Flexi as. Always ready to go. Yeah, it sounds great. THUNDER RUMBLES THUNDER RUMBLES (GIGGLES) Well, this is lovely, isn't it (?) Lucky I have my helmet on. My hair's so gonna frizz. My God. You mean you don't have naturally straight hair? (LAUGHS) You want to suffer another groin injury? You want to suffer another groin injury? You'd have to catch me first. Ohhh. Take cover. Man the pumps! Shit, I am wet. It suits you. Wait till you see the frizz. You look like a shampoo commercial. You look like a shampoo commercial. Oh. As if. So, have you had more fun times in China? I'm branching out ` Jakarta ` with my racy stock-control system. Oh, sounds exciting (!) Oh, sounds exciting (!) Not really. Actually, as I get older, the cities start to blur. I'd rather be doing this. I'd rather be doing this. In the rain? Well, it's the company that makes it worthwhile. Sorry. Too soon? No, it's just... things have been a bit messy lately. Well, hey, the weather's not looking so bad. Shall we risk it? You really are an optimist. You really are an optimist. The glass is overflowing! Certainly is today. Argh. Shit. Keep going. You haven't found the bastard yet. Keep going. You haven't found the bastard yet. It keeps slipping off the pipe. Well, you can't stop. If you don't work, you don't get paid. Well, you can't stop. If you don't work, you don't get paid. I'm not getting paid. It's the principle. There's a certain satisfaction when you find that sucker ` that leak in the poo pipe. that leak in the poo pipe. Ow. Shit! I've got blisters. Oh. Call the rescue helicopter (!) Come on. You might want to change that lead hand sometime. Yeah, they should teach that in schools, right` Yeah, they should teach that in schools, right` Oh! Oh, that is rank. Dude, you found it! I'm standing in it! I'm standing in it! (LAUGHS) Good on ya, Sherlock. So, Noah's really doing it? So, Noah's really doing it? Apparently. Jo wasn't keen, but... Mm. She doesn't like Brian very much. Well, it's mutual. Oh, and the house thing hasn't come up again. Like I said, it's none of my business. Like I said, it's none of my business. Just keeping you in the loop. Hi. Another of your fans? It's kind of weird. It's kind of weird. Come on, you love it. No. Not really. Shit, I wonder how he's getting on. No. Not really. Shit, I wonder how he's getting on. Noah will be fine. I was thinking maybe tutoring for the rest of the year. I was thinking maybe tutoring for the rest of the year. Right. Well, he's got to get through somehow, don't you think? This is another thing where I don't want to say the thing, cos if I do say the thing, you won't like what I have to say. you won't like what I have to say. How will I know if you don't say the thing? All right. If Noah isn't academic, is there really any point? In what? In what? Tutoring. Are you saying he's thick? Some people are practical, not academic. It's not a crime. I live with it myself. Well, Celeste is not thick. Well, Celeste is not thick. She wants to be a model. Well, Celeste is not thick. She wants to be a model. OK. She's not failing school. No. That's part of the deal. She has to pass if she wants to do it. Look, our kids ` it's not a competition. Look, our kids ` it's not a competition. I know. I knew you wouldn't like what I was gonna say. I knew you wouldn't like what I was gonna say. At least you're honest. It's gonna be tight under there. It's gonna be tight under there. I guess. Mm. Spiders and crap. You know, there's not a plumber over 40 who hasn't got rooted knees and a bung shoulder. It's hard yakka. So you keep saying. No good? Still smell the poo. Well, at least you won't bite your fingernails. Right, let's do it. Come on. (GRUNTS) Hold this. Put it there. (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Oh. Yeah, this is the main attraction right here. Yeah, this is the main attraction right here. Ow! Right. Go get me the hacksaw, some 40mm sleeve and some PVC sealant. Right. Go get me the hacksaw, some 40mm sleeve and some PVC sealant. What's a 40mm sleeve? Work it out. Measure it, otherwise you're gonna be making a lot more trips. All right. Ow! God! Ah. Are you all right there? Are you all right there? (GROANS) > (SIGHS) That wasn't a bike ride, that was Armageddon! That wasn't a bike ride, that was Armageddon! That bad? You need to get that stuff off. You need to get that stuff off. I didn't bring a change of clothes. And is that a problem? Mmmm. Sorry. I know. I'm giving off such conflicting messages. What? That sounds like therapy speak. Yeah, I guess. Elizabeth and me, we did a bit of counselling at the end. Not that it worked. Right. Sorry to mention her. No, no, no, no, no, don't be. Um, it's OK. And I won't go crazy on you. Although, maybe I am. I mean, he would say that. Definitely. Are you talking about the guy? The guy you were seeing? Are you still in love with him? God, no! He messed me around. He messed with my head. And I have never, ever in my whole life been a victim. Christ, who is this man? Christ, who is this man? He was a doctor. David Manning, my psychiatrist. Holy shit. And now you know, you want to run. And you should. You should. The main thing is, we need to get you warm. You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this. No frizz, no matter what. 5 Can't we just leave the crap? Can't we just leave the crap? Nothing left behind, that's my motto. Oh, oh, roger me dead. What? What did we forget? What? What did we forget? It's my bloody back. Jesus. Ah. Ooh. Well, don't just bloody stand there. Help get me to the van. Shit. Do you need me to call a doctor or something? Do you need me to call a doctor or something? I just... just need to get home. (GROANS) I could drive. You got your licence? You got your licence? I've nearly got my restricted. BRAKES SQUEAL BRAKES SQUEAL Ow, Jesus. Oh! Careful, careful, careful! Careful. Oh! Are you OK? Are you OK? Yeah, it's just my back. Oh. (MOANS) You should see a doctor or a physio. You should see a doctor or a physio. That's what I said. It's just a muscle spasm. Perks of the job. Oh. I just need some painkillers. I just need some painkillers. OK. Anything else I can do? You might want to go get cleaned up. You might want to go get cleaned up. And then what? You might want to go get cleaned up. And then what? We knock off, you egg. Go home. OK. So, I guess I'll see ya. < Thanks for helping out. < Thanks for helping out. Wait up. (GROANS) Here. What's that for? First day's pay. But I was useless. But you hung in there. > Awesome. Just don't go and spend it all at once. And not on weed. Just don't go and spend it all at once. And not on weed. I wouldn't. Yeah, right (!) We'll spot ya. Can I maybe do it again tomorrow? For real? You won't be working, will you? Not with your back. You won't be working, will you? Not with your back. Nah, maybe not. I could do lifting, digging. Get stuff for you. I'll be in touch. Brian gave Noah money. Brian gave Noah money. How much? Brian gave Noah money. How much? $80. It's not a great hourly rate. He was meant to hate it! He was meant to hate it! What are you doing? He was meant to hate it! What are you doing? Literary terms. You said he had blisters. > You said he had blisters. > What's hyperbole? You said he had blisters. > What's hyperbole? An exaggeration. He's acting like they're a badge of honour, and he wants to do it again tomorrow! That was great, thanks. That was great, thanks. My pleasure. Maybe Noah got the wrong end of the stick. You know what kids are like. Maybe Noah got the wrong end of the stick. You know what kids are like. It's Brian, stirring as usual. In what way? In what way? He knows this is the last thing I would want. Um. Um. Oh, come on! We both know that he hates me. It's... It's just Brian, that's all. Bloody men. As if it's not bad enough trying to deal with Adam. He 'would take Tobias more', but I'm still breastfeeding, as if that's my fault. What's bathos? I'm not going to be bullied` I'm not going to be bullied` Something so over the top that it becomes ludicrous. I'm gonna call Brian. I'm gonna call Brian. Hang on. That won't help. Let me deal with it. Would you? I really should be getting back to the kids. Would you? I really should be getting back to the kids. I'll go round there now. That's fine. Thank you so much. I really didn't know what to do. (SIGHS) Whoa, what a drama llama. Or indeed... hyperbole. I keep saying he should see a doctor. I keep saying he should see a doctor. Thanks. No, I'll be right. Well, you could get it on ACC. You haven't been the same since Hamilton. Emma's got a point. So, Noah did OK, then? Yeah. I threw all kinds of shit on him. He just sucked it up. Yeah. I threw all kinds of shit on him. He just sucked it up. Right. He wants to come back tomorrow. He wants to come back tomorrow. It could be good... with Brian's back. Right. Well, I, um, might leave you guys to it. Night. Right. Well, I, um, might leave you guys to it. Night. Night. If you need help getting up, just call. If you need help getting up, just call. Sure. Thanks. The thing is, I've been doing some looking into it, and I could take on an apprentice. Noah? He can come and work for 90 days. There's a $2000 grant. Does some courses at tech` Have you told him this? Have you told him this? Well, not yet, but I've been thinking it'd be good to take on someone younger. Hey, I'm sorry. I thought the plan here was to scare him back to school. What's wrong with being a plumber? What's wrong with being a plumber? Nothing. It's just... It's not good enough for your kid? It's not good enough for your kid? That's not what I said. You'd rather him be an advertising wanker selling crap to people, or poncing round in commercials? Don't hold back there, Brian. Don't hold back there, Brian. Well, let's cut the crap. Are you happy for him to do this or not? It's not straightforward. He's only 16. So you're not happy? So you're not happy? It's... It's just not where I thought he'd end up. And Jo won't be happy. (SCOFFS) Well, maybe it's about time he started making decisions for himself. What do you mean? What do you mean? I'll offer it to him and see what he says. You don't care what I think about my own son? You don't care what I think about my own son? It is his life. Shit. I got to go. Look, there's nothing wrong with an honest trade. Look, there's nothing wrong with an honest trade. See ya. Maybe you should get your head out of your arse and stop listening to Jo. Bugger it. CELL PHONE BEEPS Noah, me hearty. Can you talk? Yeah, we're on for tomorrow. 6.30 sharp. Sorry, did I wake you up? What are you doing? What are you doing? I couldn't sleep. I keep thinking about him, what he did to you. I let him. Bullshit! That is so much bullshit, and I just want to go and punch his lights out. No, no, no. You can't do that. No, no, no. You can't do that. He deserves it. (SIGHS) You don't even know where he lives. (SIGHS) You don't even know where he lives. I can find out. In your Lycra onesie? Shit. Look, what he did to you is just wrong, out of the ballpark wrong. What? I almost can't believe you're real. I almost can't believe you're real. Of course I am. You're being so great about this. I mean, I always knew you were great, but... No, I'm not perfect, believe me. No, I'm not perfect, believe me. Yeah, but you're here. Yes. But that David guy, he so needs a smack. Maybe tomorrow. DOOR CLOSES DOOR CLOSES Noah! Noah! Noah! Good man. Almost on time. What are you doing? You have school! What are you doing? You have school! You didn't tell her? What are you doing? You have school! You didn't tell her? Nah. Noah! You can't do this. Noah! (LAUGHS) Plumbers know their shit, eh? You know that is totally lame. You know that is totally lame. Hey, do I look worried? You know that is totally lame. Hey, do I look worried? BOTH LAUGH (BIRDS CHIRP) (KIDS GIGGLE) (BOTH GASP) (FOOTSTEPS CRUNCH) Ohh! Thank you, Mrs Thompson! E Is everything all right? Is everything all right? I want to go ahead with the complaint. OK. OK. I can't keep running scared. I have to face this... head on. That's great! What changed your mind? Richard. You did call him? You did call him? I've seen him. You did call him? I've seen him. Oh. That's great. Yeah, it really is. I can hardly believe it. Yeah, it really is. I can hardly believe it. OK. And I know what you're gonna say ` that I'm on the rebound, that it's too soon. Actually, you said that. And I really like Richard. I just want to check that this is OK. It is. Are you doing it because you want to? Are you doing it because you want to? Definitely. OK. Well, I can talk you through the process. There's information on the Health and Disability Commissioner's website. You can do it yourself, or through an advocate. You can do it yourself, or through an advocate. OK. It all looks quite straightforward. It all looks quite straightforward. I suppose. Are you having second thoughts? It's just so straightforward and rational. It's not like me at all. If you don't want to do this, there's the 'punch out the lights' option. That's blackmail. In a good cause. It's really great that you're here, but you do know that I'm still me. I know you're you. And I've always been kind of nuts, and that really hasn't changed. And I've always been kind of nuts, and that really hasn't changed. Are you trying to scare me off? I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what I'm doing. You'll need to be a lot scarier to get rid of me. PHONE RINGS Dr Manning's office. Dr Manning's office. This is Dr Catherine Duvall. Dr Manning's office. This is Dr Catherine Duvall. How can I help? I'm calling about a patient of mine, Michelle Hardcastle. I'll see you next week. I'll see you next week. I'm sorry, Mrs Hardcastle is no longer a patient. I'm aware of that. I requested two weeks ago that her notes be forwarded to me. I've called and emailed. I've called and emailed. Oh. I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. Well, perhaps you could check and send them over. I will do that. Thanks for getting in touch. I will do that. Thanks for getting in touch. Thank you. Dr Duvall again, about the notes. I got that. Ooh. Gross. (LAUGHS) The things some people put down their bog, man. You would not believe it. Hey. Hi. I just want a word with Noah. Sure. We're about to break for lunch. Sure. We're about to break for lunch. Gotta finish this first. Nah, it's OK. Come on. Did Mum call you? Did Mum call you? Of course she did. What did you expect? This is cool. Way better than school. Noah, we need to discuss this. Noah, we need to discuss this. You said I could leave if I got a job. I know, but` I'm sick of going there every day and feeling like this... this great big loser. You're not. You're not. I am. Maybe a different school? Maybe a different school? Dad! Maybe a different school? Dad! What? You guys expect me to be this... this genius, and I'm just not! You were fine at intermediate. And do you really want to be cleaning drains out as a job? It's way more than that. I'll learn welding, gas-fitting, and there's all this theory. Right. If things turn to shit, I can always go back to school later. But this is what I want. If it tanks, you promise to go back? If it tanks, you promise to go back? I promise. OK. Yes! Don't get too excited. It's not just me you have to deal with. Mum. Mum. Got it in one. You could talk to her. I mean, she listens to you. Huh. And any problems with that, just call me. Thanks a lot. Thanks a lot. Bye-bye. Hi. I was just leaving for the day. I was just leaving for the day. But you wanted these? Yeah, come in. I'm sorry for the mix-up. It's very good of you to deliver them in person. Well, I was, of course, concerned about the well-being of my patient. Well, I was, of course, concerned about the well-being of my patient. Ex-patient. Are you recommending her to another psychiatrist? After her recent experience, she's a little cautious. Experience? Experience? The notes? I'm wondering why the urgency. She's my patient. And a very close friend. But it could be unwise to let a personal relationship cloud your judgement. I'll keep that in mind. I'll keep that in mind. That's good, because believing the fabrications of an unstable patient could make you look very foolish, indeed. You have a great weekend. DOOR CLOSES Mac? Oh, hello. Hi. I need to see Mac. He's not home yet. He texted to say he was running late. He's not home yet. He texted to say he was running late. I'm happy to wait. You could always call him. I really need to deal with this in person. Bloody Brian has done it again. Did you know he offered Noah an apprenticeship? That doesn't seem so terrible. That doesn't seem so terrible. < I'm sorry? Brian's only trying to help. He will be stirring. He has never liked me. Well, it's probably more about Noah. He could do worse. Brian's a decent guy. He'll give him good training. Does this really have anything to do with you? You brought it up, not me. You brought it up, not me. Well, you might have moved in, but I am still Noah's mother. You know what? I was about to go for a run, so I'd really like you to leave. Excuse me? Excuse me? It's my house. It's not unreasonable. Well, I'm sorry that my presence is so upsetting to you. I'm not upset. I'm not upset. Look, I can understand it might be a bit threatening having me around. But Mac and I have always been close, and we're sharing the boys more, so you really need to get used to it. so you really need to get used to it. Bullshit! What? I am not comfortable with you being here while Mac isn't, so I want you to leave. This is ridiculous` This is ridiculous` I've had a really shitty day, and this isn't a debate. So go. Now! Well, if you're going to be like that about it... Do you need a hand? Do you need a hand? I'm fine! Bitch! DOOR CLOSES 4 (SCREAMS) How's the back? How's the back? It'll be right. I've booked in to see someone about it. It's probably a good idea. It's probably a good idea. Yeah. This'll help. Plus I've got the lad for the heavy lifting. Plus I've got the lad for the heavy lifting. Right. You should be thanking me for keeping your son off the street and giving him a future. and giving him a future. Don't push your luck. and giving him a future. Don't push your luck. (CHUCKLES) Cheers. He's a good kid ` Noah. Way better than I was at his age. He's a good kid ` Noah. Way better than I was at his age. Oh, that's not saying much. You know, I really feel like this is my fault. You know, I really feel like this is my fault. What is? Well, he hasn't been the same since the accident, you know, head injury. Well, he hasn't been the same since the accident, you know, head injury. You didn't make that happen. I didn't give him a lift. I could of, but I didn't. You know, this is bullshit. I mean, Noah's smart enough, but he was never 'stump the brains trust'. You just want the best for them ` your kids. You just want the best for them ` your kids. Sure you do. When they're little, you don't want them to get hurt, but you're going to feel that way about them their whole lives. But you don't want them to turn into pussies. Or advertising wankers. Or advertising wankers. True. (LAUGHS) You know there is an upside here. You know there is an upside here. What's that? Well, with Noah earning his own money, it's one less thing Jo's got over you. Yeah, I guess. Yeah, I guess. CELL PHONE RINGS Oh, speak of the devil. Oh, speak of the devil. She heard us! Oh, speak of the devil. She heard us! Yeah, right. I'm telling you, she's over her cauldron right now, summoning you. I'm telling you, she's over her cauldron right now, summoning you. She's just done that, mate, by text. Hey, Dad. Hey, Dad. Hi, guys. How are you, worker? How are you, worker? Shagged. I was just putting Tobias down. Wine? Cup of tea? Wine? Cup of tea? No, no. I'm good. I know this is difficult` I really don't know how to tell you this, but I just came round to see you before, and I had the most horrible run-in with Catherine. and I had the most horrible run-in with Catherine. You did? She got really aggressive, and then she threw me out of the house. She got really aggressive, and then she threw me out of the house. Literally? If I hadn't had enough and left, she probably would have. If I hadn't had enough and left, she probably would have. Right. I know she finds me threatening, but she doesn't have to make it so obvious. She's probably just stressed. Work. She's probably just stressed. Work. We're all busy. At least she's got a job. I talked to Noah today. He really wants to do this apprenticeship. < So no school and study? It will involve study. And I think he's old enough to make his own decisions, and he said if it doesn't work out, he'll go back to school. and he said if it doesn't work out, he'll go back to school. I will. Absolutely! Oh. So it's all done and dusted? Oh. So it's all done and dusted? I really think it'll be better for him, for all of us, if we let him make his own decision and we support him. He ain't going to be a doctor. He ain't going to be a doctor. As if they're so special! He was always so great at Lego. I thought maybe an engineer or an architect, like my dad. It's not about what we want. And at least we'll know where he is all day. With Brian ` who's such a good influence (!) It's not the end of the world, and he can pay some board. I will! I promise. I will! I promise. Stay out of it, you. The main thing is that he's happy and he's secure. And I've thought about the loan. Right. I really don't feel good about lending money. It always gets awkward. I see. But I could buy out Adam's share. And if you sell the house, I'll take a proportional cut of the price. And if you sell the house, I'll take a proportional cut of the price. Oh my God. I can't believe it! Well, it's a good investment and it'll be good for the boys. Well, it's a good investment and it'll be good for the boys. You are incredible. Well, I'm mostly just a bit tired. Well, I'm mostly just a bit tired. Stay for dinner if you want. Well, I'm mostly just a bit tired. Stay for dinner if you want. No, I should really get home. I'm so grateful. You really don't know how much this means to me. Sleeping beauty? Sleeping beauty? Oh. Oh. What?! Oh. I came back from my run and I was going to cook dinner, and then I sat down for a minute... I could heat up some soup. I could heat up some soup. Brilliant. Where's Celeste? She's having a sleepover with her mentor, Amber Jane. She's having a sleepover with her mentor, Amber Jane. Living the dream. Learning to walk in heels; all the important stuff. Did you really kick Jo out of the house today? Did you really kick Jo out of the house today? I... might have. And what tone of voice did you use? And what tone of voice did you use? A very pissed-off tone, as it happens. But there were no actual fisticuffs? But there were no actual fisticuffs? Not this time. But, ah, she is so annoying! So smug ` making out that I'm threatened by her. Well, I'm quite a catch, you know. Well, I'm quite a catch, you know. You know something? I think she wants you back. Oh noooo. Oh noooo. She does. Well, she hasn't got a hope, because I am taken. I have my very own sweaty, running goddess. OK? Is it the sweaty or the goddess that's not working? I was just thinking about how she waltzed into the house, like she owned it. And looking at her taking up all the space in my kitchen, I realised that this is my house! And I live here. You've only just realised that? You've only just realised that? No, I mean, I felt it. This is my place, and I do have the right to have an opinion about the kids and all of that. Because it's about you, and we are together, and I love you. Well, I think Jo should come round more often. Stop it. Stop it. No, I like it when you get all, 'Grrr, hands off.' That's right. Hands off my man. I can't totally shut her out. I know that, but I have drawn my line in the sand with Jo. She can cross it at her peril. Does this actually mean you'll start unpacking some boxes? Uh. Oh! First things first. First things first. Oh. BOTH CHUCKLE It's my favourite doctor. It's my favourite doctor. House calls on a Saturday. Coffee? It's my favourite doctor. House calls on a Saturday. Coffee? No, I'm fine. I can't stay long. But I thought you'd want to see these. Your notes. He handed them over? He handed them over? He brought them in person. That can't have been good. That can't have been good. He was snooping. He was hoping to find out what you're up to. Well, he'll find out soon enough. I just want to warn you that you won't like these. I don't think I want to see them. If you're doing this, you should know what you're up against. If you're doing this, you should know what you're up against. She is doing it. Well, I've filled in the form, but I haven't sent it yet. I have to go pick up Celeste, but have a look and maybe we could talk later. Thank you. See ya. It's incredible. All these lies... It's what we expected. It's what we expected. You get quite a mention. Apparently, I was obsessed. Well, that's not so bad. I felt bad about it mostly, apart from when we went for that bike ride. Is that in there? Is that in there? Yeah, because it made me 'unhinged'. God, it's like he planned it from day one; like he knew from the start. Covering his tracks. Clever. Covering his tracks. Clever. Yeah, but I look so bad. And he had no idea of my 'attachment' until he decided to end treatment, and then I smashed his car. and then I smashed his car. That's not what happened. It's his word against mine. Who'll believe me? > It's his word against mine. Who'll believe me? > I believe you. We all do. There's no proof. It's hopeless! Nothing is invisible. Everything leaves a trace. Where did you meet him? Um, at his office. Here. Did you go out at all? Did you go out at all? Restaurants, sometimes. You could talk to the waiters, show them a photo. What about when you went to Sydney? I booked the ticket myself. I booked the ticket myself. Did you check in together? I booked the ticket myself. Did you check in together? We sat on the plane together. See? That's traceable. We just have to go through everything, step by step ` be methodical. You make it sound so easy. It's what I do ` analyse systems, make up new ones. It's all about logical flow. This is way more than his word against yours, and we can prove it. This is way more than his word against yours, and we can prove it. All right. You can do this. It's done. Shit! It's the right decision. The only decision. What? It was so bad. Like, really awful. But there's one good thing that has come out of this. What's that? What's that? You. I know this is crazy and it might completely freak you out, but I love you. And that's not crazy at all, because I love you too. # We are two ` together. # Captions by Anne Langford. www.tvnz.co.nz/access-services Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright TVNZ Access Services 2013