You can have this ticket and keep it! I won't pay it. Watch where you're going! I want you to go downstairs and check the boiler. Give me a hand with these. I'm no doorman. I'm the superintendent. You're also a human being. I'll do you a favour. When will you fix the radiator in the baby's room? It's getting really cold in there. I... OK, it's no problem. Hey! Hey! Stop that carriage! That's my baby! Watch out! (Sounds horn) Watch out! My God! CAR HORN SOUNDS Stop that carriage! SONG: Ghostbusters! # If there's something strange in the neighbourhood # Who you gonna call? # Ghostbusters! # If there's something weird and it don't look good # Who you gonna call? # Ghostbusters! # I ain't afraid of no ghost... # How many are there? 14. I hope you can handle it. It's been a nightmare. How big are they? Four feet. (Children make lots of noise) Kids, listen up! Look who's here! Hooray! CHILDREN: Boo! I thought He-Man was coming. I thought He-Man was coming. Yeah. I thought He-Man was coming. Let's sit down and have fun. Yeah! My dad says you're full of crap. Jason! Some people don't believe in the paranormal. You went out of business because you're full of crap. Song. Come on, everybody. SONG: Ghostbusters! # When there's something strange in the neighbourhood # Who you gonna call? # ALL: He-Man! He-Man, He-Man, He-Man! It don't look good. Let's get a beer. Yeah. Bye! Thank you. Call any time. No more parties! Here's your share. I'm tired of taking abuse from over-privileged kids. We can't quit now. The holidays are coming up. It's our best season. Ray, man, face it. Ghostbusters doesn't exist. A year from now, those kids won't remember us. Ungrateful little yuppie larva! After all we did for this city. We conjured up a 100-foot marshmallow man, blew the top off a building and were sued by the state. Yeah, but what a ride! It went into the middle of traffic. I ran after it. Then it suddenly stopped in the middle of the street. Did anyone else see this happen? Sure, hundreds. Egon, I didn't imagine this. I'm not saying you did. But scientists look for the simplest explanation. We're ready, Dr Spengler. We'll start with the negative calibration. What are you working on? I'm trying to determine whether human emotions really affect the physical environment. Can they see us? No. They think they're here for marriage counselling. We've kept them waiting for 2� hours. I've increased the room temperature. Now my assistant is asking them if they'd mind waiting another half-hour. GADGET BEEPS Good. Very good. Great. Nice. So, Egon, what do you think? Excellent. Just excellent. Do the happiness index next. I mean about the carriage. I'd like to bring Ray in on this. Sure. But not Venkman. Oh, no. Do you ever see him? Occasionally. How is he these days? He was borderline for a while. Then he crossed the border. Does he ever mention me? No. Oh. We didn't part on very good terms. We lost contact after I got married. The affection test is ready. Send in the puppy. I thought of contacting him after my marriage ended but... Isn't that sweet! I appreciate your doing this. Try not to worry. Here's my phone number. You'll call me? Yes. Please don't mention this to Peter. No, I won't. Thanks. Let's see what happens when we remove the puppy. Hi! Welcome back to 'World of the Psychic'. I'm Peter Venkman. I'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and psychic Mel Mangland. Your new book is called 'The End of the World'. Can you tell us when that's gonna be or do we have to buy the book? I predict that the world will end at midnight on New Year's Eve. This year? That's cutting it a little bit fine, just from a sales point of view. Your book has just come out. It'll be at least a year before it's made into a mini-series. Devil's advocate here. Shouldn't you have said, "The world will end in 1992." It's not just some money-making scheme. I have a strong psychic belief... ..that the world will end on New Year's Eve. For your sake, I hope you're right. But my other guest disagrees with you. Helene, now you had another date in mind. According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14, 2016. Valentine's Day. Bummer! Where'd you get your date, Helene? I received this information from an alien. It was at a Holiday Inn. I was having a drink at the bar alone. This alien approached me. He started talking to me. He bought me a drink. He must have used some kind of mind-control device because he forced me to follow him to his room. That's where he told me about the end of the world. So, your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn? It might have been a room on the spacecraft which looked like a room at the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure. Of course not, and that is the whole problem with aliens. You just can trust 'em. Occasionally, you meet a nice one - Starman, E.T. But usually, they're just some kind of lizard. That's all the time we've got this week. Next week though... ..hairless pets. Weird! Until then, this is Peter Venkman saying... See you then. Norman, where do you find these people? Weren't we supposed to have the telekinetic guy? He cancelled. This is the best we could do. No respected pyschic will come on the show. They think you're a fraud. I am. Mr Mayor! Lenny! Can I help you? Get your hand off me. I wanted to say hello to the mayor. I'm the mayor's assistant. Dr Venkman, I don't see any ghosts anywhere. I wanted to talk to his highness about a job we did. We got stiffed on the bill. Stay away from the mayor. He's running for governor. The last thing we need is to be associated with frauds. I'm a voter. Aren't you supposed to kiss my butt? STRONG EUROPEAN ACCENT: I want you to put this under the arch there. Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this. You be careful of that. No one listens to me. Dana, how are you doing? How is this Bonington coming? Fine. This mixture you gave me works really well. I make a good cocktail. Yes, you're doing quite good work. Thanks. It won't be long before you can assist me in more important restorations. I'm just removing some fluff. Thank you, Dr Poha. Janosz. Janosz. I've enjoyed working here. Now that my son's older, I'll go back to the orchestra. I'm sorry to hear that you won't be here. Could I say goodbye? How about a brunch today? I have an appointment today. I'd better go. I don't understand. Whenever I invite you out, you say you're busy. Do I have a bad breath? Of course not. I'll give you a raincheck. I think that she likes me. Oh, I do. I truly do. This one's interesting, Ray. Berlin, 1939 - a cart went 500m by itself. There were 300 eyewitnesses. My best to the coven. Berlin, eh? Check Duke University. They're doing studies on controlled psychokinesis. That folded. Excuse me. I'm looking for a love potion that I can spray on a certain Penthouse Pet to obtain her total submission. Hello, Venkman. Hi, Pete. How's school? I bet the science chicks dig your large cranium. They're more interested in my epididymis. Ray, close up so you can buy me a Cal's Own. I can't. I'm working on something. Your book arrived. 'Magical Paths to Fortune and Power'. Thank you. Good luck with that. Put this on my account. Sure. Look at this. What are you guys working on? We're... (Clears throat) ..checking something out. For who? Umm... PHONE RINGS Ray's Occult. 7:00 on weekdays. Midnight on Saturdays. Thank you. Who? Who? Just someone we know. Who? (Yells) I can't! No! Yes, you can. Nobody! Tell me. I can't. Tell me. Dana Barrett. Ow! My Dana Barrett? KNOCK AT DOOR DANA: I'll get it! Hi, Dana. Hi, Ray. How good to see you! Thanks for coming. No problem. Hello, Dana. Hi, Egon. I know I'm asking to be hurt but I'll give us another chance. He pulled my ears. Hello, Peter. Hello, Dana. What would you like to do first? Examine the baby. And anything associated with the baby. We'd like to see the buggy. All right. And wherever he sleeps. Is this OK? It's fine. Lay him down flat. Sweetheart, they're going to examine you. Just a cursory medical examination. A gamalon pros-infinicuity test? And an afga score. Will it hurt him? BOTH: No! I don't think so. (Plays cello) Have you ever done this before? On chimps. Whatever happened to Mr Right? He ditched you? No. We had some problems. He got a good job offer from a London orchestra. So, he ditched you. The subject is a male Caucasian, about approximately... 24 inches. ..24 inches in length. The subject weighs 18 pounds and is eight months old. OK, ocular? Pupillary response is normal. Auditory? (Both click fingers) Normal. Reflex? He appears to be ticklish. Yep. Baby ticklish. You should have married me. You never asked me. And whenever I brought it up, you'd fall asleep. You never got it, Dana. I'm a man. I'm sensitive. I need to feel loved and be desired. When you started introducing me as your "ball and chain", I left. I may have personal problems but I'm a total professional in my work. Egon. What? What are we doing? He seems to be fine. He's very healthy. Where does he sleep? Around here. Venkman, will you get a stool specimen? Business or personal? It's a little messy. We don't want to play with it. Very cheerful! My parents didn't believe in toys. You want to play with a big kid? I should have been your father. I could have been. (Baby coos) I understand. (Sings little tune) He's gone completely berserk! Help! Woe is me! Uh-oh! You mean you never even had a slinky? We had part of one but I straightened it. Help! Help me! He had some clear liquid coming out of his mouth. Yes, that happens. Well, what do you think? Well, he's ugly. He's not Elephant Man-ugly but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly? Don't listen. And he stinks. (Baby giggles) Did his father stink? GENTLY: Daddy was a smelly? What's your name? His name is Oscar. Named after a hot dog! You poor man! But seriously, there's nothing unusual about him, is there? I don't have a lot of experience with babies. You're excited now because Mamma's here to get your stool sample. Stool sample? Yeah. Nothing. So, what next? I'd like to run gynaecological tests on Dana. Who wouldn't? Let's check the street. It stopped right over there. In the middle of the cross-walk. I'll get us across. We're scientists. Excuse us. CAR HORNS SOUND Get out of the way. Thanks, I appreciate it. TAXI DRIVER: What's going on? Relax! You're on the meter. Hey, we're scientists. I think we've hit the honey pot. Something's brewing under the street. I got 1-1-18 on the PKE. 2.5 GEV on the Geiger meter. What does that mean? Hey! How are you doing? Me? Yeah. Fine, fine. It's cutting fine now. Why are you cutting? Why am I cutting? Yeah. Boss! Who told you to stop cutting? Did you tell him to stop? Yes. What are you doing? Let us work. We let you work. We're here because some jerk downtown is making us work on a Friday night. Isn't that right, Ziggy? Yo! Take it easy, all right? What have you been doing? I've been digging a big hole for an hour. Wow! It looks like an old air shaft. It just goes on and on. It's very intense. We need a deeper reading. Yeah, a deeper reading. Somebody has to go down there. Yeah, somebody has to go down there. Wow! Listen to me! What? Who? I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia, the sorrow of Moldavia, command you. Command me, Lord. On a mountain of skulls, in the castle of pain, I sat on a throne of blood. What was will be, what is will be no more. Now is the season of evil. Evil? Find me a child that I might live again. A child, a child. A child? A child. Are you all right? Yeah, I'm good. The speed's good, boys. Keep it coming. We're breaking through. I see some light. I'm in some kind of chamber. There's tile work. Slime! It's a river of slime! There's got to be 25,000 gallons of it. It's flowing through here like a river. "Pneumatic transit." The old pneumatic transit system is still here. OK, whoa! That's good. What do you see? All right. What's going on here? Hey, what's the story? Are you boneheads going to harass me again? I've got 3,000 volts out at Greenwich Village. I've got eight million miles of cable to check. The phone lines are over there. The phone lines are over there. What did I say? Hey! You're not with the phone company. We checked. I've got a major gas leak here. Where do you think all this is coming from ` the sky? OK, boys. Boys? Lift me up now. There's something strange going on with this stuff. Help! Take me up. Ray! Boys? Hey, what's going on up there? Come on! Get me out of this hole. (Baby stirs) Hello, sweetheart. Hello. Go back to sleep. Who is it? Janosz. Hello, Janosz. This is a surprise. Oh, hello. Yes, well, I happened to be here in this neighbourhood and I thought I'd see how you are because of all this blackness. Oh, we're fine. Thank you. Then you're OK? How's the baby? He's OK. Yooohoooo! He's sleeping. Oh, but I rude! That's OK. All right. Do you need anything? You know - do you want me to come in? No, thank you. Ah, all right. Just thought that I would check. Well, hey, you - don't let the bedbugs bite. Goodnight, Janosz. Before this trial begins, let's make something clear. The law doesn't recognise the existence of ghosts. Neither do I. I don't want to hear malarky about spooks. Stick to the facts. Keep ghost stories for the kiddies. Sounds pretty open-minded! He's called 'The Hammer'. It's up to our lawyer now. You're making a big mistake. I do mostly tax laws. My degree's from night school. That's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night. Put these guys away fast for a long time. It won't be hard with these charges. Good. Very good. Violating a judicial restraining order, willfully destroying public property, fraud, malicious mischief... See you at your first parole hearing. They'll never take us alive. All right - let's get on with it. Your Honour, ladies and gentlemen of...of the audience. It's not fair to call my clients frauds. The blackout was inconvenient. I got stuck in an elevator. But I don't blame them, because once I turned into a dog and they helped me. Very good, Louis. Short, but pointless. Mr Fianella, please look at exhibits 'A' through 'F' on the table here. Do you recognise anything? That's the stuff from their truck. What is it used for? I don't know. Catching ghosts, maybe? The defendents are under a judicial restraining order that strictly forbids them from performing services as paranormal investigators or eliminators. Mr Fianella, can you identify the substance in this jar, marked Exhibit 'F'? Yeah. That's the stuff all right. I've worked underground for 27 years. I never saw this before. They must have poured it there. We didn't! Shut up! You were just helping a friend... Who was frightened. ..who was scared. There was no evil intended. No malice intended. Because when you love a place... You want to help. It's an isolated incident. It'll never happen again. Objection. What? Leading the witness. Sustained! Come on - we're both lawyers. Mr Tully, do you have any questions that have relevance to this case? Do I? No. We've helped them enough. No, Your Honour. Your witness. Dr Venkman, please tell the court why you and your co-defendents dug a very big hole in First Avenue. We didn't think anyone would notice one more hole. (Bangs gavel) Keep that up and I'll find you in contempt! I'm truly sorry. Why were you digging the hole? Remember you're under oath. Some things in this world that go way beyond human understanding - things that cannot be explained, that people want to ignore. That's where we come in. You're saying the supernatural world is your exclusive province? Kitten, what I'm saying is that sometimes shit happens, someone has to handle it and who ya gonna call? (Audience cheers) Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler, STAND UP! GET UP! You too, Mr Tully. I find you guilty on all charges. You'll pay fines of $25,000 each and spend 18 months in the city correctional facility. Egon, she's twitching. I'M NOT FINISHED! Let me go on record saying there's no place for fake charlatons... Your Honour... SHUT UP! ...like you in decent society. This is important. You exploit people's gullibility. Yes, sir... Be quiet! ..but... If I could, I'd invoke the traditions of our illustrious forbears, reach back to a purer, sterner justice, and have you BURNED AT THE STAKE! WOW! Oh my God - the Scaleri brothers! THE SCALERI BROTHERS! Friends of yours? I tried them for murder. Gave them the chair. DO SOMETHING! Tell them you don't believe in ghosts. You've got to help me. Don't talk to me. Talk to my attorney. My guys are still under a judicial restrangement order ` that blue thing I got from her! They could expose themselves. You don't want us exposing ourselves. (Screams) You're next, bubbles. All right! Case dismissed. Hurray! We won! Do something! Oh! I've always hated this part of the business. It's been ages since we used this. Hopefully it still works. The power lasts 5,000 years. No time for tests. Heat 'em up. (Sings) "Do." (Sings) "Re." (Sings) "Egon." (Yells) (All chuckle) Hello, big boy! I'm gonna take you home for my private zoo! You've got him. Spengy, bring it quick. OK. OK! Behind you, Ray! Hold him, Ray! Venkman, start bringing it back. Come on - let's go, chubby. Ray, pull to the right. OK - it's going in. Hold it. Hit it! MACHINE BEEPS Two in the box. Ready to go! We be fast. BOTH: And they be slow! WOW! We're the best, the beautiful, the ONLY Ghostbusters. We're back! Domino's mobile ovens didn't quite help us deliver hotter, fresher pizza, but opening more kitchens closer to more people did. For hotter, fresher pizza, choose 20-minute delivery guarantee. From Domino's. PHONE RINGS Ghostbusters. Yes - we're back. SONG: Ghostbusters! # There's something strange goin' on # Something's wrong Cold in your room # Outside is the storm All alone! Certified cheque, cash or money order? # I see something move # Chills down the spine # Your heart fills with fright # From the things that go bump in the night # Walk through the wall # No time to stall # Call the Ghostbusters # That's who you call - Ghostbusters! (People scream) Hit it! Bye-bye. Arrrgh! What is it, honey? That darn ghost won't leave us alone. We'll have to move. No way! We're not moving. HE is! Who are you going to call? Ghostbusters! # Ghostbusters! # I remember the time I visited the grave # My life on the line # Only my life was saved # All by myself # With no one around # Didn't understand a hand comin' out the ground # I knew it wasn't mine # It was somebody else # I didn't care I just screamed for help # Then - Ghostbusters! # That's right, they're back Screamin' - Ghostbusters! # Ghostbusters attack Janine, lunch. It smells like somebody took a big... # I...I...I ain't afraid of no ghosts TV: ..with our half-price service plan. What?! Hold on. Half-price? Have we gone mad? Yes, Pete. That's not all! Tell them, Egon. The Ghostbusters hot beverage thermal mug and free balloons for the kids? # Ghostbusters! # We've been experimenting with the plasm. Careful. Should I get spoons? Don't bother. Watch this. Go ahead, Ray. YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SLIME! You ignorant, disgusting blob! You're nothing but an unstable molecule! You foul, obnoxious mound! You have a weak electrochemical bond! I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but YOU take the cake! You're... You're just... Whoa! This is how you pass your time? This is an incredible breakthrough. We've discovered a psychoreactive substance. This responds to human emotional states. Mood slime? Oh, baby! This stuff feeds on bad vibes? Like cops in doughnut factories. We've been testing for a positive reaction. What kind of tests? We sing and talk to it. And we say supportive, nurturing things to it. You're not sleeping with it, Ray? Oh, you! It's always the quiet ones. You hound! How about the kinetic test? OK. An ordinary household toaster. We'll trust you on that. It responds to music. We've been experimenting, playing easy listening stuff. That works OK. Works for me. It loves Jackie Wilson. (Starts music tape) You guys do this at night when I'm not here? Oh, it sings. It sounds exactly like Jackie. Watch. Does it do Emmylou Harris? SONG: Your love is... It dances, too! # ..liftin' me higher than I've ever been lifted before. # Whoa! Shake it up! Oh, baby - you're my number one Christmas boutique gift item. If someone gets mad it'll bite. We'll put a warning label on... Aaaaah! OW! You really went for it! The old man-eating toaster trick. Aaaaargh! Hello. I'm looking for Dana Barrett. Room 304 - Restoration. Thank you. Hey! Dr Venkman. Yeah. 'World of the Psychic'. That's right. I'm a big fan. Thanks. It was one of my two favourite shows. Really? What was the other one? 'Bass Masters'. It's a fishing show. Yeah. You're good, pretty eyes. I didn't paint it. I'm cleaning it. It's a Gauguin. I've heard of him. Dana, will you introduce me to your friend? Sure. Peter Venkman, this is Dr Janosz Poha - the head of our department. I've seen you on the television. Not here on business, I hope. It's top secret. You've got a Gauguin, too. No. I'm preparing this portrait for the New Romantic exhibition. This is Prince Vigo - the ruler of Carpathian Moldavia. Bit of a sissy! He was a very powerful magician, Dr Venkman. And a genius in many ways. He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting. It makes me feel uncomfortable. You're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling - Carpathian kitten loss. He's missed his kitten. We'll put one in. We don't alter art. Go. The joyfulness is over. He's kidding. You won't get a green card with that attitude. Oh, of course! I get it. You're sweet on this hunky stud, aren't you? Sometimes I get the feeling that that painting is watching me - smiling at me. (Hums tune) I think we got more food on your shirt than in your mouth. Look - bath. You want a bath, don't you? Yeah. You can do your favourite thing. You know what you can do? Do you know what's really fun? Huh? Splash Mommy. Yeah - to splash Mommy. Aaaaah! (Makes funny noise) Are you ready? Mummy's taking her shirt off, too. Yeah. NO! KNOCK AT DOOR DANA: Peter, please let us in. KNOCKING CONTINUES What the hell is this? (Baby cries) Let us in, please. I didn't know where else to go. The most awful thing happened. The bathtub... The bathtub was trying to eat Oscar. I was giving him a bath. There was all this pink ooze everywhere. It reached for him. You're OK. I'll protect you. You're safe now. Everybody's fine. I was so terrified. You guys sit down. I'm sorry. I'll get you a shirt. Ray, Dana's just come over to my place. Her tub tried to eat her. What? Are you serious? That's great! I mean - that's terrible, but it's great for... Yeah, I will. We'll go now. Spengler - a major slime-related psycho-kinetic event. What happened? Something in Dana's bathtub attacked her. Is she all right? She's at Venkman's. Interesting. Remember the painting Venkman mentioned? I looked up 'Vigo the Carpathian'. Look what came up. Nice ugly history. Do you think there's a connection between Vigo and the... ..slime? Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9? Let's get over to Dana's apartment to check that bathtub. We'll visit the museum tomorrow to see that painting. Ray's going to your place. He is? OK. I've had this for a long time, Oscar. I got this from a girl who got this from Joe Willie Namath. We don't want to know how. I'd appreciate it if you wouldn't hose this thing down, thank you. It's time to practise what big guys call self-control. Get out of here! Oh, look at this guy. This guy's a coconut. You'll stay at Uncle Pete's until everything's over. This is your place now. Hi. Come on in. This is my place. So, how WILL we handle the sleeping arrangements? It's best if I lie like this with you draping your arm over me. The other way, your hair gets caught in my throat and I choke. How about you on the sofa and us here? It's the way to go. It's late. I'll put him down. May I? If you want to. You're short. Your bellybutton sticks out. You're a terrible burden on your mother! 1 Find anything at Dana's? Nothing but residue around the bathtub. I got something on Vigo. Found it in 'Magicians, Martyrs and Madmen'. Vigo was born - 1505, died -1610. 105 years old! Didn't die of old age. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, disembowelled, drawn and quartered. Ouch. He wasn't popular. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, the Torturer, the Despised and Vigo the Unholy. And Vigo the Butch? There was a prophesy. Before his head died he said, "Death is but a door, time is but a window. "I'll be back." Suck in your guts - we're the Ghostbusters. No! No, please go! Who's this wriggler? He's yours - sic him. Hi, Ray Stantz, Ghostbusters. I'll tell you... We're doing a routine spook check. We don't have ghosts. We know. Why are you came? We heard there's a major creep in the area and you turned out to be top of the list. Where the hell are you from, anyway? The Upper West Side. The whole room's extremely hot, Peter. Ugh, that's one ugly dude. That's Vigo! Mr Vigo! Look this way, please. No, don't! Show me something. No! Mr Vigo... No photographs, please! Slides are available in the gift shop. Thank you, Winston. Give me angry. You've had a bad day, you're cranky... Yeah, good! Ooh, angrier... You're scaring me! Stop it! Yeah... Good! Walk for me. Talk for me. Give me hot and sexy. You can do it. Show me some teeth. Do the girls like you? Do the guys? Animals? Do they like you? That's it, more! You're big! All right, destroy me! Destroy me now. Yeah! Destroy me! Yeah! Yeah, yeah! Venkman. Yeah? We need to talk. I've worked with better, but not many. Thank you. Hey, hey! Huh? Hey, you finished? Yeah, I'm finished here. Are you all right? What? You're not coming down with something? Me?! Dana! Your prince. Oh no. Oh no... Oh NO! She cleaned! Hi. Hi. Sshh, he's asleep. Come here. So, what happened with my apartment? The guys stayed the night, went through your things - your personal stuff, tried on your clothes, made long-distance phone calls, emptied the fridge... Did they find anything? They found some pink slime. What should I do now? Get dressed and get crazy with me in Manhatten tonight. I don't... It's what you need. I've found a baby-sitter. Everything's organised. We shouldn't be going on a date. I can't leave Oscar in a strange place, with a strange person. "Strange person"?! Janine Melnitz, from my staff. Janine has experience baby-sitting? Here. Thank you. I've also brought some things from your apartment. Some wardrobe choices. Some provocative ensembles. You decide. After dinner. Don't try those old cheap moves on me. No, no... It's different. I have all-NEW cheap moves. Hey, you! Hey, you... It looks like you're awake, huh? Yes, Oscar, you'll have the whole place to yourself tonight. It'll be pretty neat. You can watch my Laurie Antonelli tapes. Did you see some shirts on the floor? Yes, they're in the hamper. I have a hamper?! Yeah, in the bathroom. Will you tell me next time you do that? I thought they were dirty. I've more than two grades of laundry. Not just 'clean' and 'dirty'. There are many subtle levels, OK? Hang this outside the window for 20 minutes, it's perfectly fine. Interesting role model for you, Oscar, huh? They couldn't get to you until after the new year. Just don't go in there. Louis! I'm closing up. Should I take the subway, or surface roads? It's pretty busy out. Well, I'm walking. Goodnight. Well, now... Well, hang on, now. Do you... No, no. Do you want to have something to eat with me? I'd love that, but I told Dr Venkman I'd baby-sit for him. Oh, well... Want to baby-sit with me? OK, I would. Great! His place at 8:00. Bye. His place at 8:00... CAR HORN BLASTS You were right, Ray. Multi-planer Kirlian emanations. Here's next month's 'GQ' cover. Check out this sucker's aura. There's definitely a living presence. We should get a deeper look. I'll run this through the spectronalizer. I'll turn up the ranges. OK. What do you think - Chinese? How about Thai? No, too spicy. Greek? Ah...Mexican? Pizza? Anything. Chicago? What the hell is that? I know what it is. I've seen it before. Where? When you had me dangling 100 feet below 1st Avenue... That's the river of slime. What the hell...? Ray! Get a blanket! Get a hose, or something! Go! Why is this closed? Winston! Winston! Hey, fire! That way. What now? Taxi! It's great you're here. We've got incredible news. Give me one try. Barbecue rib night at the Sizzler? The spectrogram shows a river of slime flowing behind Vigo. We're tracing the flow in the subway sewer system. Change your clothes. Egon anticipates a tremendous breeding surge in the cockroach population. Hi, boys. What's up? ALL: Hi. The guys are checking the sewer for slime stuff. Egon even anticipates a huge surge in cockroach breeding. Want to forget dinner and go with them? Taxi! Women! Huh? (INSECTS CHIRP) (TICKET RIPS) (DRUMROLL) (DRUMROLL CONTINUES) (DRUMROLL STOPS) Whoo...! (SCREAMS) I won! Arggh! Hah...yeah! VOICEOVER: The Monopoly game is here! Get that peelin' feelin' with Suzuki scooters, Caltex fuel gift cards and millions more prizes. Peel in store and more. 1 (Trips) Oooh! Ahh! Will you watch your step! I hate this. According to this transit map there should be an entrance nearby. I'm not getting anything yet. Luckily, it's too dark to see the cockroaches. The subway rats are worse. Big as beavers. Some weigh four to five kilos. Hey, enough, all right? Listen... Hear them behind the walls, scratching? There must be thousands! Shut up about the rats. OK, OK. Hello! ECHO: Hello...! Hey! ECHO: Hey...! Hello! DEEP GROWLING VOICE BELLOWS: Winston... I'm out of here. Oh... Ah... They're gone. What the... Before going further, let's get our proton packs. Good idea. DISTANT RUMBLING What's that? What's what? Sounds like a...train. Uh-uh. These lines have been abandoned for 50 years. Oh. TRAIN APPROACHES Probably in one of the tunnels above us. I don't know. It sounds awfully close to me. TRAIN DRAWS NEARER TRAIN WHISTLE BLASTS (Yells) (Yelling continues) That was the old city to Albany. Derailed, 1920 - hundreds were killed. You caught the locomotive's number? Sorry, I missed it. Something's trying to stop us. We must be close. Where's Ray? Ray...? Ray! Ray! Ray? Ray? Ray! Guys! (Both scream) Sorry. I found it. What? Right here - a hole. Let's go. What about the packs? The packs! Unbelievable! Huh? Didn't I tell you? I wasn't lying, was I? How much negative energy generates a flow this size? Hey - New York! What a town! Check its depth. Get a sounding. Yeah. All right... Six feet... 12 feet. 12?! Something's pulling it. Hold on! I'm trying. Give me a hand! Give him a hand! Help! Get his belt off! Hold it! Hold on! (Screams) (Screams) A toast to the most charming... kindest... Oh, it's me! It's you. ..and most unusual man I've ever broken up with. Speaking of neat guys, why dump me? I didn't dump you. I was protecting myself. You weren't very good for me, you know. You know that, don't you? I'm not even good for me! You're better than you realise. Give yourself more credit. I need to hear that. With that support every day, I'd be in shape when this century ends. Just give me a jingle in the year 2000. Why don't I give you a jingle right now? The seven dwarfs ran a small mining operation. A beautiful princess appeared. They bartered housekeeping services for room and board - thus avoiding social security and income tax complications. You really shouldn't do that, but... It's a great place. It needs a woman's touch, but it looks really good... Sshhh... Bedtime. You're very good with children. Thanks, I practised on my hamster. Oh... So, you live alone? I had a room-mate, but my mom moved to Florida. Oh... Come over and sit with me. OK. Want to play Boggle or Super Mario Brothers? You know... I think motherhood's a very natural instinct. I'd like a child myself. Would you? Tonight? (Gasps) (Moans) Nice going, Ray! You trying to drown me? Oh yeah, like it was MY fault! You were too stupid to drop the line! Watch it or I'll punch your lights out! Yeah? Any time! Right now! Let's go! I'll get you! Come on! Wait! Wait! Stop! Get your clothes off! Ray, what were we doing? I nearly killed you! It's the stuff. It's like pure, concentrated evil. It's flowing right to this spot. (INSECTS CHIRP) (TICKET RIPS) (DRUMROLL) (DRUMROLL CONTINUES) (DRUMROLL STOPS) Whoo...! (SCREAMS) I won! Arggh! Hah...yeah! VOICEOVER: The Monopoly game is here! Get that peelin' feelin' with Suzuki scooters, Caltex fuel gift cards and millions more prizes. Peel in store and more. Whoa. Are you sure this is it? Excuse me...! No, it's all right. Venkman! (All shout) Absolutely incredible! The greatest tangible evidence of psychic energy... Leave this restaurant! Just a second. Boys, boys! You're scaring the straights, OK? Let's do this tomorrow. No! It's hot - ready to pop! Yeah! It's all over the city. Rivers of it! Flowing to the museum! Museum! (All gasp) It's all over me! What is this stuff? Oh, God! You mean MY museum? I would have told you after dessert... There they are. ..you can never go back there. Psycho-magnotheric plasma! It's unbelievable. We were going to fight! We were fighting! By the throat! We must see the mayor. (All talk and shout) POLICE SIREN Oh, Ghostbusters! How are you? Right this way! My kid brother would love a proton pack. The proton pack is no toy. He's right. (Gasps) We were just baby-sitting, honest! We watched TV. One thing led to another. That's all right. I understand. I didn't expect it... Dana, how was your date? It was just dinner. Where's Peter? He was arrested. Typical! Did he call? No, no, nobody called. Well, how's Oscar? Is he all right? Oh, he's fine. Such a good baby. He was a little fussy, so we gave him some pizza. Passed right out. Good, good... Well, I'll just give him a look see. (Sighs) Should we go? I don't know. We shouldn't leave her alone. You're right. Let's stay. Buddy! Big man! Ghostbusters! Mr Mayor. What is this? A slumber party? It might look... I don't want to know. You've got two minutes. Make it good. Mr Mayor, it's a pleasure seeing you again. Almost 50% of us voted for you in the last election. I appreciate that. We regret always meeting under these circumstances. An immense psycho-magnotheric slime flow is building up under this city. Psycho what? Psycho-magnotheric. Negative human emotions are materialising as a viscous, psycho-reactive plasm with explosive, supernormal potential. Does anybody speak English here? All the bad feelings - the hate, anger and violence of this city, is turning into sludge. It's unbelievable, but after swimming in it we almost killed each other! This is insane. Do we really have to listen to this? Stop your lips flapping for just two minutes. Have you been out in the streets lately? It's pretty weird out there. We've counted about 3 million completely miserable assholes living in the tri-state area. Oh, please! Pardon me - 3 million and one. Hey! If we don't move fast, everything will blow like a frog on a hotplate. Right! What should I do? Go on TV and tell 10 million people to be nice to each other? Being miserable and treating others like dirt is every New Yorkers' God given right. Your two minutes are up. Goodnight. ALL: Mr Mayor! You're making a big mistake! The 'Times' will be interested in this. Whoa, whoa! "Mere Hide Slime". "Times Square Slime". "Slime Square Time"... Fine, fine. Before running to the newspapers, would you consider telling this slime business to our people downtown? It must be done immediately. This city's in danger. The whole state, the whole world! We just want to help! Come on, let's go! The Mayor wants them under strict observation for a few days. They're seriously disturbed and potentially dangerous. We'll do whatever's necessary. Thank you, Doctor. I await the word of Vigo. I, Vigo, the scourge of Carpathia... You've told me this - this "scourge". The sorrow of Valdavia... I've heard all this. ..command you. Command me, Lord. The season of evil begins with the birth of the new year. Good! Bring me the child. Then I will live again. Yes! Lord Vigo... I was wondering... This woman, Dana, is fine and strong. Now... ..if I was to bring the baby, could I have that woman? So be it. On this day of darkness she will be ours - wife to you and mother to me. YES! Thank you, Lord! Thank you! Is she the killer? No, that's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane. She dumped him for some polo player. I don't know why women love horses. Do you? No. You don't have to stay. We don't mind. THUNDER Can you see OK? Yep. Oscar? Oh, God! Oscar! Louis! What? It's Oscar! Oscar! Call 911 right now! Oscar! Oh, no! Oh, no, no, no! No! That was a ghost! No, that was Janosz. What's happening?! What should we do?! Where's the baby? The museum! Where are you going? To get my baby! We've gotta find the guys. We think the spirit of a 17th century Moldavian tyrant lives in a painting at the Manhattan Art Museum. Do any other paintings there contain spirits? You're wasting time. He's drawing strength from slime collecting under the city. Tell me about the slime. It's very potent. It made a toaster dance. A bathtub tried to eat a baby. A bathtub? Don't look at me. These people are completely nuts. Domino's Pizza is now Domino's. While we still do great value pizzas, we also offer amazing choice. Our authentic New Yorker range, chicken sides, desserts, and hand-crafted thick shakes are totally irresistible. Taste what's different at Domino's. Oscar. Sweetheart. Oscar. I thought I'd lost you, never see you again. Oh, baby. Hello, Dana. I thought that you might come. Stay away from us, Janosz. He won't be harmed. He's been chosen to be the vessel of the spirit of Vigo. You'll be mother of the ruler of the world. Isn't that nice? No, it sounds ludicrous. You stay away from him. I mean it. I don't think we have choice here. Look, it's not Gainsborough's 'Blue Boy' there. He is Vigo. I don't care who he is. You're not going to take Oscar. Oscar! Oscar! You bastard! 1 SONG: All around the streets Everywhere I go # Something strange is happening To everyone I know # I hear the voice of loneliness Crying in the night # See the madness in their eyes Dancing with delight # A big or little dinosaur? What kind of skeleton? Wait a sec? A park bench was chasing you? What? Wait a sec. Lieutenant, you'd better talk to him. I'm busy here. Some dock supervisor at Pier 34. What's wrong? He says the Titanic just arrived. Well... ..better late than never. We've had 3,000 calls since midnight last night. Everyone's on duty and I'm still short-handed. They're chasing ghosts everywhere. We can't get through this shell over the museum. Have you tried dynamite? Tried everything. What's going on?! It's pandemonium out there! We're working on it. I'm going down as the mayor who let New York get sucked down to the 10th level of hell! We've no choice. Call the Ghostbusters. Wait! Er... ..I'm sure there's another way. I spent an hour last night talking to Fiorello La Guardia. He's been dead 40 years. Where are the Ghostbusters? They're not available. What do you mean? I had them committed to Parkview Hospital's psychiatric ward. You WHAT? I was protecting your interests! You can stop protecting my interests! Get out of here. You're fired! But... Harry, remove this man. Get me the Ghostbusters! Mr Mayor, look here. Wow! What is that? Have you ever seen anything like that? Somebody get me the Ghostbusters. He took the baby and they levitated away. Where did Dana go? To the museum. There was an eclipse and everything went dark. Vigo needs a human body to inhabit. Little Oscar must be it! We're all that can stop him. # I guess we're gonna have to take control. # If it's up to us,... # we've got take it on. # Too hot to handle, too cold to hold, they're the Ghostbusters and they're in control. # Well, I guess we're gonna... # have to take control. # If it's up to us... # It looks like a giant Jello mould. I hate Jello. There's always room for Jello. At midnight the city will be mine and Vigo's. Well, mainly Vigo's. Ooh, Dana, it's a terrific opportunity to make the best of this relationship. We don't have a relationship. Marry me. Together we'll raise Vigo as our son. Let me tell you something. There are many perks in being a living god's mother. We could get a magnificent apartment, car, free parking. Many marriages begin with a certain amount of distance. I think perhaps you and I could learn to love each other. Yes. I could learn. Pull 'em. Let's cook. Save 'em. CROWD BOOS That slime is pulsing with evil. There's not enough goodwill left in this town to crack that shell. I can't believe it's gotten that bad. Sure it's dirty, noisy, crowded, polluted and there's lots of awful people around. But there's got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out bird. We must mobilise it. We need something that everyone can get behind. We need... ..a symbol. Something that appeals to everyone. Something good. Something decent. Something pure. MAJESTIC MUSIC PLAYS It makes you wonder. Wonder what? Whether she's naked under that toga. She's French. You know that? Ready with the speakers, Ray. OK, internal audio is set. Slime-blower set. Is our slime in a good mood? I hope so. She's a lot bigger than a toaster. Let's go. Thanks. Testing, one two. How many people tonight are a national monument? Raise your hand. Let's frost it. It's slime time. Beautiful. The pilot controls are ready. It's almost midnight. Let's go. Here's something off the request line from Liberty Island. We're gonna squeeze some New Year's juice from ya, Big Apple! SONG: You know your love Keeps on lifting me # Higher and higher Higher # I said your love Keeps on lifting me # Higher and higher Higher STEEL CREAKS AND GROANS This will really get the city's positive energy flowing, won't it, Venky? If you make this work, Libby, we'll take you to Vegas. You look fantastic in this. I was born to wear this stuff. Boy, this equipment's heavy. CROWD CHEERS # I'm so glad # I finally found you. # Yes, you're one in a million, girl # And I'll wield # my lovin' arms around you. It's a love fest, New York! It's a love fest, New York! Sing it out! It's a love fest, New York! Everybody, sing! # I said your love # keeps on lifting me. # Lifting me higher and higher. # I said your love # keeps on... (Sings) "Your love is lifting me higher!" Sing! Can't you go any faster? No, she'd crack. We should've padded her feet. I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray. Don't worry, she's a tough harbour chick! Sorry! My fault! My fault! Happy new year! Stay fit, keep sharp, make good decisions. Good, good! Oh, it's you. OK, but I didn't know you had your licence. Four minutes to go and then - party times. It's happening. It's really happening. SCREAMS I love you. SHOUTS Oscar, look! You know who he is? Hi! He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him! You backed the wrong horse. Hose him. Hose him. One down. On the ground. I'm glad to see you. Oscar, Oscar! Is he dead? No, he's positively charged. He'll wake up feeling great. This gentleman's ripe. That's all right, my friend, I think had an accident too. Get him away! Get a knife or something! We gotta cut her outta this! > OK. All right, now listen. You've gotta stay here. Don't move. Uncle Pete's gotta help your mom. Stay here. Uh-oh. Hold it right there! You want a baby? Go ahead and knock up some willing hellhound! I'm giving you three to get back in that painting! One! Two. Three! (Screams) We've got him! That was really stupid. Ray, can you move? No. Are you OK? No. Venkman, how are you? I'm fine. No. No! Oscar! Please, do something! Not so fast, Vigo! Vigo! Yeah, you, the bimbo with the baby. Didn't anyone tell you the big-shoulder look is out? I've met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal. Only a Carpathian would come back to life NOW and choose New York. Tasty pick, bone-head! If you had brain one in that huge melon up there you'd be living the sweet life out in Southern California's beautiful San Fernando valley. Oh, darn. GROWLS: Now we become one. SINGING Where's that coming from? People outside. 'AULD LANG SYNE' Excuse me! Ghostbusters! Wow! I'm with you, guys. He's weakening! The singing is neutralising the slime. I can move! Oscar! Oh, sweetheart! He's back in the painting! Find a shady spot. Viggy, Viggy, Viggy, you have been a bad monkey. Ray, we'd like to shoot him. Move, please. Ray. Ray! Now, I, Ray, am Vigo and shall rule the Earth. Be gone, you physical half-men! Now! I did it! I'm a Ghostbuster! Are you all right? Get up. How do you feel? Groovy. Are you all right? Yes, thank you, Peter. Spread out, shorty. I love you guys. All you guys. Great. And I love Venkman. Wow! Real friendship. (Sings) "Here we come from behind..." Hey. Are you all right? Why am I drippings with goo? You had a violent, prolonged transformative psychic episode. Sorry we had to hose you. Hey, man, let me tell you something. I love you. Yes? Yeah. I love you, too. Hey, fellas, look at this. Wow! Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael or Piero della Francesca. No, I believe it's one of the Fettucines. SONG: Ghostbusters! # If there's something strange in your neighbourhood # Who you gonna call? # Ghostbusters! # If there's something weird And it don't look good # Who you gonna call? # Ghostbusters! # I ain't afraid of no ghosts # I ain't afraid of no ghosts # For captioned programmes see Teletext p 504. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air.