Dexter, hi. Dexter, hi. Is Celeste home? I haven't seen her since Wednesday. Jules is sure she's going to LA. Jules is sure she's going to LA. Jules is not gonna send her back. I'll go and get her myself. Jules is sure she's going to LA. She said she was moving into Jules' residence. Can I suggest you talk to someone about your aggression? Can I suggest you talk to someone about your aggression? What did you say? Can I suggest you talk to someone about your aggression? Brian! You never say it any more ` that you love me. Brain, I am so tired. This is my one chance for some unbroken sleep, so... Good lord. She's not subtle. You shouldn't be alone on your birthday. (CATHERINE) PHONE: Hey, it's me. I was asleep during your party. I hope you got your card. I miss you. # And the stars came out once the lights went out. I could not speak, so I had to shout. # And the moon passed sadly by. # (SIGHS) (SIGHS) UPBEAT MUSIC UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES Mac! MUSIC STOPS Am I late? Am I late? Plane was early! Customs was a breeze, Am I late? Here. Here. Thanks. Here. Hey, new wheels! Yeah, finally. Yeah, finally. Nice. It is so good to see you. BOTH CHUCKLE BOTH CHUCKLE Oh. Sorry. (CHUCKLES) Are you planning on opening a bar? Are you planning on opening a bar? I thought after two weeks with Jules, I deserved it. Are you planning on opening a bar? It was that terrible? Honestly, he was making such an effort. Reliable, conscientious, even punctual! He's turned into a saint now. He's turned into a saint now. That is not possible, believe me. How's Celeste? How's Celeste? She is great. She even had her first modelling assignment. How's Celeste? Weren't tempted to stay longer? Weren't tempted to stay longer? No. Just as long as I had to to get Celeste sorted. Weren't tempted to stay longer? Let's get home, then. That was great, thanks. I told Nicky we'd drop Maggie off at quarter to. I told Nicky we'd drop Maggie off at quarter to. Sure. TV PLAYS RELAXED MUSIC TV PLAYS SPORTS Brian,... Brian,... Yeah, ready when you are. ...how long is it gonna be like this? Like what? Like what? Sort of quiet and weird. This is normal, isn't it? This is normal, isn't it? You're angry at me for what I said. No. You were honest. That's fair enough. (SIGHS) I was trying to be, that's all. (SIGHS) I was trying to be, that's all. I know. And if you want to move out or something, I` I get it. And if you want to move out or something, I` I get it. Move out? Well, if it's not workin', it's not workin'. Well, if it's not workin', it's not workin'. But... (SIGHS) we get on. Yeah, sure, but if you want to get out, meet other guys, it's... But... (SIGHS) we get on. Yeah, sure, but if you want to get out, meet other guys, it's... I don't want another guy. Yeah, sure, but if you want to get out, meet other guys, it's... Just putting it out there. So... Well, what do we do now? We better haul arse, or we'll miss the lucky table. God, I missed you... so much. (CHUCKLES) so much. I missed you too. (LAUGHS) You found your present. (LAUGHS) Yeah. It's very generous. And I like the clue. And I like the clue. Does it go with the bike? I haven't been on it all that much ` not since I got the car. You could wear it tonight. You could wear it tonight. Mm. You know, I made a very special effort to get back for quiz night. Aren't you tired? Aren't you tired? I have some making up to do. Aren't you tired? And I cannot... let the team down. So good to see you all! All right, PDAs over. Red for you? Red for you? You're very kind. Nice jacket, mister. Red for you? Nice jacket, mister. Nice jacket, mister. Birthday present. Nice jacket, mister. Birthday present. For my favourite bikie. So, what are we bonussing? So, what are we bonussing? Sports and TV trivia. Bring it. So, what are we bonussing? Bring it. Bring it. Oh my God, you've become Californian. Bring it. Thank you. Question 9 in Famous and Shameless ` the husband Liz Taylor dumped to run off with Richard Burton was Eddie Fisher. Yes. Yes. Nailed it. And question 10 ` in a recorded Yes. wished to be reincarnated as...? And question 10 ` in a recorded phone conversation, Prince Charles wished to be reincarnated as...? ALL: A tampon. That has to be the creepiest thing I've ever heard. That has to be the creepiest thing I've ever heard. Or it's a sign of very true love. Who cares? Great work, team. thing I've ever heard. Who cares? Great work, team. Who cares? Great work, team. Yeah, scandal and smut ` our best topics. Who cares? Great work, team. Cat is in the house. Did you get in a few routes in LA? Did you get in a few routes in LA? I beg your pardon?! Running routes, and I did, thank you. What else would I mean? What else would I mean? (CHUCKLES) > Hey, um, you couldn't slip me a number for your ex-missus could ya? We had a bit of a connection at your party. Sure. Sure. You don't wanna go there, mate. Sure. age, and there was heat, seriously. Well, she's in great nick for her age, and there was heat, seriously. Text me. Text me. Jo and Cory ` you didn't tell me that. Text me. Uh, they danced. I'm not really sure what else they got up to. OK, folks, one more round before the all-important drinks break. Sharpen your pencils for TV Trivia. OK, we bonused this. We need a 10 out of 10. It's all about Happy Days. It's all about Happy Days. Oh, yes, brother! Oh, yeah. Let me guess. You were the Fonz, and you were Richie. Oh, yeah. Let me guess. You were the Fonz, and you were Richie. I never had red hair. Oh, yeah. Let me guess. You were In Happy Days, the Fonz dated which set of sisters? I got this. They were twins. Weren't they, um, triplets? Maybe I missed that episode. Maybe I missed that episode. Shh, it's coming. Uh... It was Italian. Name the sisters who dated the Fonz. Name the sisters who dated the Fonz. The Lombardi Twins! Name the sisters who dated the Fonz. The Lombardi Twins! I'm sure they were triplets. Name the sisters who dated the Fonz. They're twins. You reckon? You reckon? I'm pretty sure. Well, if you're sure, you can have it. Well, if you're sure, you can have it. Well, I don't have to. Well, if you're sure, you can have it. Oh no. You've got to go with what you feel, so... Oh no. You've got to go with what you feel, so... So what's our answer? Is it the Hooper Triplets? I think so. I think so. The lady's always right. CATHERINE: Very chivalrous. > I think so. CATHERINE: Very chivalrous. > CATHERINE: Very chivalrous. > < Question two ` what was Joanie's nickname? Shortcake. What's up with Brian? What's up with Brian? Oh, he's fine. All that, 'Oh, no, you can have it' stuff. Is he still making up for Marty the Gambler? Who? Who? Emma's ex was at the party. Who? Emma's ex was at the party. Ah, that was the fight. Mm-hm. Total smackdown. Did you give Brian hell about it? Mm-hm. Total smackdown. Did you give Brian hell about it? Not exactly. Well,... (SIGHS) you know the thing I told you about? The thing about not being sure if I loved Brian. You told him? You told him? Sort of. Yes. Why would you do that? You told him? Why would you do that? Why would you do that? I didn't mean to. It just came out. Why would you do that? I didn't mean to. It just came out. Whoa. Did things get ugly? He's gone a bit... distant. He's gone a bit... distant. Hurty man feelings. I did twins once. I did twins once. Lombardis? Swedish backpackers. I did twins once. Swedish backpackers. Legs up to there. Swedish backpackers. Legs up to there. Are you missing the old days? Emma gave me a leave pass. Emma gave me a leave pass. She what? She said she wouldn't mind if I played away. That doesn't really sound like Emma. That doesn't really sound like Emma. CATHERINE: Yeah, why not, you know? Yeah, it's bloody weird, I can tell you, mate. Cheers. One thing I do know ` the Fonz did date the Lombardis, and they were twins. That was so much better than pub quiz in Santa Monica. That was so much better than pub quiz in Santa Monica. You went? Jules thought it'd be fun. It was full of Australians. Jules thought it'd be fun. It was full of Australians. Hello. You're back. Hi. Hi. Hi. Sorry to come over so late. Frank forgot his score. His what? His what? He's got a rehearsal before school. Oh, right, the musical. Andrea was saying he has such a good voice he should join their gospel choir. He sang at the party with Noah. Can you believe it? I'm sorry I missed that. I'm sorry I missed that. Anyone for tea? I'm sorry I missed that. Anyone for tea? < Not for me. Did you sort everything with your daughter? I did. Yeah. I did. Yeah. That's wonderful news. Frank, come on. So how was, uh, quiz night? Runners-up. Runners-up. Oh. Apparently silver medal winners in the Olympics feel worse than the bronze winners. You know, so close, and yet, so far? I didn't know that. I didn't know that. Got it! I didn't know that. Oh, hi. Hey. Hey. Let's go, darling. Welcome back. Welcome back. Thanks. Sweet dreams. Welcome back. Sweet dreams. See ya. Sweet dreams. See ya. Night. Good to see she's still making herself at home. Good to see she's still making herself at home. Yeah. I might get unpacked. I'll be in soon. Tea? I'll be in soon. Tea? Great. I'll be in soon. Tea? RHYTHMIC GUITAR MUSIC MUSIC BUILDS What? What? Nothing. (SIGHS) It's too small, isn't it? I wasn't gonna say. Fat. Fat. You're not fat. Just, you know, well-covered, a bit curvy. Fat. Don't. Don't. Well, you've just had a baby. Don't. Well, you've just had a baby. Yeah, months ago. (SIGHS) Did you want to talk about the moving thing? I kinda need to get to work. I really didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I know. I know. I've just... been so tired and so` Uh, it's OK. I'll catch you later. OK. OK. Oh, and, uh, the Fonz went out with the Hooper Triplets, the Lombardi twins and the Polaskey twins. I checked. the Lombardi twins and the Polaskey twins. I checked. So we were both right. Not that it really matters,... but I should probably tell the quiz master. I like the dress. Is it new? > I like the dress. Is it new? > (SIGHS) It's just a maternity thing. My old clothes still won't do up. I like the dress. Is it new? > Actually, I` I dunno. I'm thinking I should move out. I'm thinking I should move out. Why? Well, you know how things haven't been too good. Well, you know how things haven't been too good. You mean sex. It's more than that, and if I don't love him, maybe it's dishonest to stay. I suppose. I suppose. Well, you manage really well. I suppose. Well, you manage really well. I muddle along, but it's no picnic. I suppose. Well, you manage really well. What would you do? With the benefit of hindsight? Try harder, stick with it. But Adam left you. But Adam left you. (CHUCKLES) I'm not talking about him. But Adam left you. With Mac I was going through a bad patch. He was always working, and I was bored. Adam came along, and he looked like the answer, but he wasn't. I threw away the best thing in my life. So there you go. Don't quit unless you are sure. Well,... (CLEARS THROAT) I should get to work. Well,... (CLEARS THROAT) I should get to work. BABY FUSSES Well,... (CLEARS THROAT) I should get to work. CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC CONTINUES Why aren't you still in bed with your lady love? Why aren't you still in bed with your lady love? Because I'm an idiot. Oh no. Not Catherine and Jules? Oh no. Not Catherine and Jules? No. Oh no. Not Catherine and Jules? Well, that's good. The night of the party... You said something bad to Catherine. You said something bad to Catherine. No. You said something bad to Catherine. No. Drunken texting? You said something bad to Catherine. No. No. I slept with Jo. I slept with Jo. Oh God, you didn't. But how? I stayed there till the end. There was no one else left. She came back to help with the clean-up. Cunning vixen. Well, you gotta give her marks for trying. We got stoned. We got stoned. She held you down and made you inhale? I was pissed off with Catherine. I was pissed off with Catherine. Well, fair enough too. She was off with her ex I was pissed off with Catherine. and you were making a pre-emptive strike in case she did go there. You're not meant to be defending me. You're not meant to be defending me. Ah, but how would you know if she rogered the aging rock star? You're not meant to be defending me. My point is, if she did go there, then you're quits ` even Stevens. I just feel really bad about lying. I just feel really bad about lying. You work in advertising. You've had the practice. I just feel really bad about lying. She seems happy to pretend it never happened. She seems happy to pretend it never happened. You should do the same. She seems happy to pretend it never happened. Yeah. Yeah, maybe. Yeah, maybe. No, definitely. SLOW GUITAR MUSIC Oh, these are quite boofy. Well, I'm not going for the giant pav look. I'll probably just get something made. So what are we doing here? Scoping for ideas and checking on our friend here. I'm fine, and I have to go pick up Constance soon. What about bridesmaids' frocks? What about bridesmaids' frocks? I don't think these are really me. What about bridesmaids' frocks? I don't think these are really me. Yeah, there's no harm in looking. Now, this` I don't think these are really me. Now, this` Now, this` ...is going right back on the rack. Now, this` ...is going right back on the rack. (CHUCKLES) Who do they make these things for? They're like doll's clothes. Who do they make these things for? They're like doll's clothes. Uh, that's your size. Who do they make these things for? They're like doll's clothes. Not any more. You'll get back there. You'll get back there. When? Look at me! I thought breast feeding would help, but I have to wear preggy clothes. I thought breast feeding would help, but I have to wear preggy clothes. Yeah, on the upside ` great hooters. Have your periods started? Uh, not yet. Why? Are you having sex? Are you having sex? A bit louder, please. Are you having sex? Now and then, but not lately. And are you using protection? I'm still breastfeeding, so I'm fairly safe. I'm still breastfeeding, so I'm fairly safe. Mm, it's a bit of a myth, actually. Honey, nine months up, nine months down. You look gorgeous. You'll lose the weight. Stop stressing. (WAILS) (WAILS) QUIETLY: 56, 57, 58, 59 60. Oh no. Ta-da. Mm. Mm. PHONE RINGS Mm. PHONE RINGS Say you'll call back. Mm. PHONE RINGS It's Emma. Won't be a sec. Hey, hon. How's it going? TEARILY: Catherine was right. I'm pregnant. TEARILY: Catherine was right. I'm pregnant. Whoa. Big news. I'm really sorry to bother you right now. I'm really sorry to bother you right now. (SIGHS, TUTS) Sit tight. I'm coming round. (SIGHS) Sorry. Hey there. Hey there. Hey. Hey there. Wow, that smells amazing. Will it go with this? Will it go with this? (INHALES SHARPLY) (CHUCKLES) It'll be a waste. One glass and I'll be snoring. (CHUCKLES) It'll be a waste. One glass and I'll be snoring. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) It'll be a waste. One glass and I'll be snoring. I had a brilliant idea today. Let me be the judge of that. Let me be the judge of that. OK. Why don't we just bring our dates forward? Go to Paris now? Just you, me, the City of Lovers... Just say yes. I'd love to, but I can't. Why not? I just got back. I've had a locum covering me for two weeks. I can't just take off again. I see. Plus I'll need time off at Christmas to see Celeste. Plus I'll need time off at Christmas to see Celeste. I get that she's important. I had to go to LA. For a few days, Catherine ` that's what you said ` and suddenly it's a week and then two. You stayed at his house, went to premieres, pub quiz. Is this about Jules? Is this about Jules? You tell me. What happened between you? Nothing. Nothing. Did he try? (SCOFFS) I knew it. Look, he had too much to drink one night. He came on to me. Look, he had too much to drink one night. He came on to me. And? I turned him down! one night. He came on to me. I turned him down! I turned him down! How do I know that? I turned him down! How do I know that? Because I'm telling you! Don't you trust me? Don't you trust me? Sometimes it's just hard to know what you think. Jules is history. Jules is history. What about now? Honestly, I don't know how much you want this. What? Jules is history. I had to beg you to move in. You've never been happy here. What? I had to beg you to move in. You've never been happy here. The place is too small. You need your own space. You haven't even unpacked! I don't know what this is about. I don't know what this is about. You're pushing me away. All I said is I can't come to Paris right now. All I said is I can't come to Paris right now. Bullshit. You'll never come. What have I done? What have I done? I just told you. > I don't understand where What have I done? I don't understand where this is coming from. I don't understand where this is coming from. I'm pissed off. I don't understand where this is coming from. You don't feel like you. I don't know what it is, but ever since I got back, you're angry with me. I didn't sleep with him. I swear it. I know. I know. Then what? I know. Then what? It was me. I slept with Jo. When? After the party. After the party. My God. After the party. My God. It was just that one time. After the party. My God. Just. Just. Catherine. Catherine, I am sorry. I am so sorry. Catherine, I am sorry. I am so sorry. Don't say anything. Catherine, I am sorry. Catherine, please. I am sorry. I made a mistake. I got it so wrong. Cat` Catherine! CAR DOOR SLAMS > ENGINE STARTS UP, CAR DRIVES AWAY > OK. How far along are you? I don't know. I don't know. Less than 12 weeks? I'm trying to work it out. I think it could be more, but... I couldn't do that. I couldn't do that. I'm just putting it out there. I couldn't do that. I'm just putting it out there. I just couldn't. Well, there's one good thing. Well, there's one good thing. Someone for Connie to play with. I was gonna say at least you're not fat. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) DOOR UNLOCKS DOOR SHUTS FOOTSTEPS APPROACH Hey. Hey. Gidday. I was just leaving. You two have a good evening. I've got some news. What? I'm not fat. I'm pregnant. Shit. CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC CONTEMPLATIVE MUSIC CONTINUES CELL PHONE RINGS She's up the duff again. She's up the duff again. Wow. Is that good or bad? Hope this isn't too dry. Hope this isn't too dry. Bit of both, really. Hope this isn't too dry. Bit of both, really. CELL PHONE RINGS Hope this isn't too dry. Bit of both, really. (SIGHS) Sorry. Mac this time. Mac this time. Well, he can't be pregnant. Mac this time. Well, he can't be pregnant. What's up? Mac this time. Well, he can't be pregnant. She's not answering her phone. I dunno where she is. Could you try ringing her? Something happened? You're not gonna like it. CELL PHONE RINGS PHONE BEEPS Hi. Hi. Honey, tell me where you are. I'll come and get you. Hi. Don't say no. Just give me the address. You're absolutely sure? Well, I can do another test, but,... yes. yes. (SIGHS) Christ Almighty. Well, it's not what I want, either. I didn't think that all that stuff had started up again. I didn't think that all that stuff had started up again. What stuff? I didn't think that all that stuff had started up again. Periods, you know. It can happen without that, and we haven't always used protection. It can happen without that, and we haven't always used protection. So this is my fault? It can happen without that, and we haven't always used protection. No. I can look for somewhere else. What? What? Move out. With a baby and another one on the What? With a baby and another one on the way? Do you think I'm an arsehole? With a baby and another one on the way? Do you think I'm an arsehole? Then you're being forced into it. With a baby and another one on the So? With a baby and another one on the So? But it's not what you want. Excuse me. You're the one who So? Excuse me. You're the one who doesn't want me. You said it. Excuse me. You're the one who doesn't want me. You said it. Don't be like this. Excuse me. You're the one who doesn't want me. You said it. Well, what am I meant to bloody do? Bugger this. I need a drink. DOOR OPENS, SHUTS CONSTANCE WAILS (SIGHS) For 20 years I root around, no babies. Now I'm an old bastard with a stuffed back and all I do is get chicks pregnant. It is an irony. It is an irony. It's like some sort of evil karma. I'm sorry mate ` Catherine's back. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, shit. Were you guys in the sack? Yeah. Oh, shit. Were you guys in the sack? No. Um, she's gone out. How come? We had a, um... What? A fight? What? A fight? Yeah. I thought things were sweet. I mean, she was all over you. I thought things were sweet. I mean, she was all over you. It's my fault. I thought things were sweet. I mean, she was all over you. What did you do? I slept with someone on my birthday. Tell me it wasn't. It was. It was. (SIGHS DEEPLY) Honey, you are so not staying here. I had to get out. I couldn't face seeing anyone. I had to get out. I couldn't face seeing anyone. Hey. I'm not anyone. Richard. Richard. He can go home. I didn't want to bother you. I didn't want to bother you. You have scraped me off the floor I don't know how many times. I didn't want to bother you. Now it's my turn. You let me be superwoman, and you be Tragic Mess Woman. (SIGHS SHAKILY) (SOBS QUIETLY) She told, did she? Ratted you out to Catherine? She told, did she? Ratted you out to Catherine? Nope. It was me. What? What? I had to tell her. Hold on. You said to me, 'Don't tell, ever.' That was you! I know. I know. So why the hell...? It's gonna sound stupid. It's gonna sound stupid. Yeah! It was her eyes ` the way she looked at me. (SIGHS) Because you love her. Great way of showing it, eh? Great way of showing it, eh? I used to say 'I love you'. Not all the time, but it was a great way to get a chick over the line. But when you mean it, it's not always pretty. I mean, I've had heaps of women. I never really fell for any of them, but Emma ` she just kills me, man. Well, that's a good thing, isn't it? Bloody women. So much grief. How could I have been so stupid? You are not the stupid one. You are not the stupid one. I knew Jo wanted him. I left it wide open. You are not the stupid one. for Celeste, as you should. You were looking out for Celeste, as you should. You were looking out for Celeste, as you should. I wasn't thinking about him. You were looking out for Celeste, as you should. You cannot take the blame for this. He thought I didn't care. He was wrong. Yes, he was. Oh God, how could he do this? That's more like it. That's more like it. I hadn't unpacked, but it was mostly books. I had nowhere to put them! That's more like it. I know I'm not easy to live with, but I was trying. I have no idea what to do. You don't have to do anything. I have to get up in the morning. I have to go to work. I have nowhere to live. You can stay here as long as you want. You can stay here as long as you want. It's not ongoing. You can stay here as long as you want. Don't think about it. (SIGHS) what to keep going for. There was always Celeste, and she's gone, and there's Mac. There's us ` your friends who love you. You are gonna get through this. Believe me. (COOS) (COOS) (SIGHS) You shouldn't sleep on the couch with your back like it is. I got in late. Had a few beers with Mac. Did you tell him about the baby? Yeah. Right. I suppose I'll have to tell them at school. God, I'll only be full-time five minutes before I have to take leave. Hang on. Where's Maggie going? Where she always goes ` to Jo's. You are not taking my daughter to that home-wrecking bitch. You are not taking my daughter to that home-wrecking bitch. What? You are not taking my daughter (GROANS) (SIGHS) I thought we might have a picnic when Tobias wakes up. A bit of fresh air. Can I ask you something? Can I ask you something? Sure. Brian told me something about you and Mac. Is it true? What did he say? What did he say? That you slept together. You mean we had sex. Yes. You mean we had sex. Yes. Oh. I'm surprised Mac shared that with Brian. Perhaps I shouldn't be. I'm surprised Mac shared that with Brian. Perhaps I shouldn't be. I'm really shocked. I'm surprised Mac shared that with We were husband and wife. I really don't think that's anyone else's business. I really don't think that's anyone else's business. I think it's Catherine's business. I really don't think that's anyone else's business. That's between her and Mac. That's between her and Mac. She's really upset. She walked out on him. Well,... I'm sorry to hear that. Well,... I'm sorry to hear that. Are you? Well,... I'm sorry to hear that. Are you? I don't like your tone. Well,... I'm sorry to hear that. Are you? And I don't like you hurting my friend. And I don't like you hurting my friend. I thought we were friends. And I don't like you You must have known what this would do. Mac and I have known each other for 22 years. There is a lot between us. You want him back. You want him back. What is this, an interrogation? He was gutted when I met him because you dumped him. He's found someone else. I think we should leave this alone. I think we should leave this alone. And I think... you're selfish. And what are you? And what are you? I don't use people. And what are you? I don't use people. What about Brian? And what are you? We've had our differences, but he is a decent man. If you're putting up with him because you're too scared to leave... I thought you said not to leave. I thought you said not to leave. If you don't want him, have the guts to let go. I won't be bringing Constance here any more. How's your mum? How's your mum? Same old. She enjoy your dad's party? She enjoy your dad's party? Doesn't stop talking about it. Right. She enjoy your dad's party? Right. Right. Says I should do more music with my brother. As if! Right. Brian King. Yeah, busted pipe. Totally up for it. What's the address? Redfern Road. That's Dairy Flat. 226. All right, cheers. Shit. Farm job. I totally forgot all about it. Hey, are you OK to finish up here? No sweat. No sweat. All right, I'll swing by later, pick you up. No sweat. EDEN MULHOLLAND'S BEAUTIFUL PEOPLE # Sun in their eyes, yeah. # Wanted for nothing. # Just taking a ride, yeah. # MUSIC STOPS COW MOOS All right, where are you, sucker? SPADE SLOSHES (GRUNTS) SPADE THUDS, ECHOES What the...? SPADE THUDS (YELPS) Argh! (PANTS, MOANS) (PANTS) (PANTS) Help! (MOANS) (MOANS) OMINOUS MUSIC (PANTS) (PANTS) OMINOUS MUSIC (MOANS) Help! Is anyone there? Help! Help! I did tell you. Yes, you were very clear. Yes, you were very clear. Lying is our trade. You are a disgrace to this industry. I just couldn't. I... Get out of here. Go and see her. Get out of here. Go and see her. She's working. (SIGHS) (SIGHS) What the hell do I do? Step one ` flowers, gifts, abject apologies. I don't know. This is Catherine we're talking about. I don't know. This is Catherine we're talking about. Mmm, I agree ` she's a tough ask, but let's break it down using our skill set. What we have here is a resistant consumer and an unpopular product. Thanks (!) Thanks (!) And she is our target market. But luckily, we've been there before. Thanks (!) We have? We have? Remember Cherry Pie ice blocks? We have? Remember Cherry Pie ice blocks? Yeah, tasted like petrol. We have? But thanks to our inspired campaign, sales trebled. So I'm a Cherry Pie ice block? So I'm a Cherry Pie ice block? And Catherine does not want to lick you. So we need a genius campaign. She's not really someone you can bullshit. There'll be a way in. There always is. THUNDER ROLLS TENSE MUSIC Help! Help! (PANTS) (GRUNTS) TENSE MUSIC (GRUNTS, PANTS) (CRIES OUT) (MOANS, PANTS) Is anyone there? Help! (PANTS, MOANS) Help! (PANTS) You are indeed pregnant. Do I say congratulations? Do I say congratulations? (SIGHS) You'd be the first. Brian was at Mac's last night. He told me` He told me` That it's over? Yeah. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Now, you'll need an appointment for an ultrasound to confirm dates and you didn't have a period, so we're guessing a bit. Do you have any idea? A... while ago. It's a shock, I know. You don't have to pretend it's all roses. (SOBS) I just` I think I've really blown it with him because of what I said. You were just being honest. Yeah, but he's been so good about it for Brian. I mean,... he's prepared to stay with me. How do you feel about that? I don't know. I've been so mean to him. So tired, and so... No wonder ` you're pregnant. You're a sea of raging hormones. No wonder ` you're pregnant. You're a sea of raging hormones. (SNIFFS) I know now,... but, well, it isn't an excuse. 'Course it is. What's going on in your body has a huge impact on your emotions. I guess. But Brian, I mean,... (CHUCKLES) he's so funny... (CHUCKLES) and practical and vulnerable, and he's really really kind, and he knows so much... (CHUCKLES) and not just about Chile. (CHUCKLES) and not just about Chile. He does. I really should get Maggie home. But thank you. Thank you so much. Any time. SENTIMENTAL MUSIC CELL PHONE RINGS It's me. (CHUCKLES) I just wanted to say... I really hope you're coming home for dinner so we can talk. We really need a talk. And I'm making a pie. THUNDER RUMBLES PHONE KEYPAD BEEPS OMINOUS MUSIC (PANTS) OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES (PANTS) THUNDER RUMBLES (PANTS) (GRUNTS) OMINOUS MUSIC CONTINUES (PANTS) (GRUNTS) (PANTS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Hi. Richard's roasting a chicken. Hi. Is he a god, or is he a god? You don't have to. You don't have to. But I want to, so you have to let me. Be out of your hair as soon as I can. Be out of your hair as soon as I can. No hurry. Running bath now. Thanks. I could always give the tenants notice, move back into Mum's... You could. > You could. > ...or buy something. An apartment with a room for Celeste in case... So sorry about this. So sorry about this. Don't be. All done, so you are now officially my prisoner. KNOCK AT DOOR KNOCK AT DOOR < Michelle! Hey! Hi. Is Catherine here? Hi. Is Catherine here? I think you know the answer to that. Hi. Is Catherine here? I think you know the answer to that. I know, but` Hi. Is Catherine here? Sorry. She doesn't wanna see you. Sorry. Lady says no. I've been a bastard and I've hurt her, but I just need to tell her` I've been a bastard and I've hurt her, but I just need to tell her` Too soon. You have to go. Yeah. OK. Have a great night. DOOR SHUTS PHONE RINGS Noah speaking. Noah speaking. Hi. It's Emma. Noah speaking. Hi. It's Emma. Hi, uh, Dad's not here. Actually, I was looking for Brian. Hi. It's Emma. Actually, I was looking for Brian. Actually, I was looking for Brian. Haven't seen him since this morning. Uh, he was meant to pick me up, but he never came back. Uh, he was meant to pick me up, but he never came back. Well, um, have you heard from him? No. I text him, like, three times, but` Cos this lady wanted a quote on something else, but he never got back to me. but he never got back to me. Uh, where did he go? but he never got back to me. Uh, where did he go? Some farm job, fixing a pipe. but he never got back to me. But where was it? It was Dairy Flat. I need a name and address, Noah. I need a name and address, Noah. It was 226, I'm pretty sure. We've passed that. We've passed that. Oh, unless it was 246 or... 346. It was off the road, down a drive or something. Right. Right. That could be it. SLOW GUITAR MUSIC There he is! Brian! GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES He's not in the van. Brian! Brian! Brian! There he is! Brian! Brian. Brian, can you hear me? (GRUNTS) (PANTS) My leg. Shit, that hurts. Shit, that hurts. What happened? I fell. I fell. Do you think you can walk? I fell. Do you think you can walk? (PANTS) No. Bring the van. Quick! Take me home. No way. I'm taking you straight to hospital, and don't you dare argue with me. Do you need more painkillers? Do you need more painkillers? Yeah. If I need an operation on my back, I could be off work for months. If I need an operation on my back, I could be off work for months. Shh. It might not come to that. If I need an operation on my back, Wait for the follow-up. See what they say. I hate being laid up. I know you do. And I am freaking out about the money. Well, won't ACC cover? Well, won't ACC cover? Yeah, but I gotta pay Noah, the job` Well, won't ACC cover? Yeah, but I gotta pay Noah, the job` Stop it. Well, won't ACC cover? What? Well, won't ACC cover? Yeah, but I gotta pay Noah, the job` None of that matters. You're here now. That's all that matters. (SIGHS) You don't have to be nice to me because I nearly died. You don't have to be nice to me because I nearly died. Was that bad? (SIGHS) You know, for a while there, I thought, 'I'm gonna die in a hole in the ground and never see my kids again.' God. God. I thought, you know, about this little one and... never meeting her. (CHUCKLES) Her? Well, it could be a boy, And... I thought about you. I love you, Brian, so much. And I knew that before you were stuck in a water tank. Yeah, right (!) Yeah, right (!) I know things have been hard, Yeah, right (!) and I've been tired and... and you've been grumpy. When? When? Sometimes. And I know I'm not the hot chick you're used to... (CHUCKLES) and I can be demanding. When was that? (CHUCKLES) I want you to marry me. Would you... marry me? marry me? Well, I don't know. I asked you once, and you turned me down. I asked you once, and you turned me down. If you asked again, I wouldn't. Yeah? Yeah? Please ask me. SLOW GUITAR MUSIC Well, I haven't got a shit show of getting on my knees. Well, I haven't got a shit show of getting on my knees. (CHUCKLES) SLOW GUITAR MUSIC CONTINUES Right, then. Emma Wedgewood... (SIGHS) I feel like a dick. (SIGHS) I feel like a dick. (CHUCKLES) Say it, Brian, or I will have to kill you. I love you, Emma. Will you marry me? I will. Yes! (CHUCKLES) Yes. Yes. (CHUCKLES) (CHUCKLES) Ow! (CHUCKLES) Ow! BOTH LAUGH FLIP GRATER'S OH MY WORD # If you plan to stand still, # would you move aside? # If you can be locked down, # God knows I have tried. MAC: Dearest Catherine, thank you for unfolding me. # Oh my word, I've been waiting # for you # to walk on by. All I ask is that you will listen and hear me and know that I love you with all my heart. # ...inside. I can't bear to think that I might lose you, because you give me such happiness. There is a` a quiet and a delight that you bring to my life, and no one but you has ever made me feel like that. Well, no one else brings a book to a pub. No one else is so pedantic about grammar or so old-fashioned about moral truths or so wise about everything. No one is such a silly dancer. I deserve your anger. Pour it on me. I'll take it and not defend myself, because there is no defence, none at all. I was just... wrong. I love you, Catherine. Please, take me back. Captions by Anna Bracewell-Worrall. Edited by Desney Shaw. www.able.co.nz Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2013