What would you say you discovered about each other? She's crazy. Why am I crazy? Honeymoon dates revealed some hard-hitting truths. Stand further away. Can't be in a relationship with someone who doesn't like anything I do. Normally, my style of dating would've been going at 100 miles an hour right from the start. Yeah, that's definitely not my style. The return to Auckland... Wow check this out. Sky Tower's over there. That's nice. It's cute. Isn't it! ...created distance between some couples. I really, really, really would prefer to sleep in the other room. (GROANS) Tonight ` the honeymoon is over. It's counterproductive to spend every waking minute with someone. As daily life sees trouble in paradise for some. Well, this is romantic. Do you gonna hold my hand? (CHUCKLES) No. He likes everything that` what I don't like. And the very first commitment ceremony delves deep. I'm just asking whether you're building towards a relationship- What's a relationship? (BLEEP) As some couples struggle to stay afloat. But is it a key to happy marriage to laugh all the time? Probably not. Copyright Able 2018 Step one ` Buy Sodastream. Step two ` Save up to 2000 bottles a year by using one reusable bottle. Step three ` Planet saved. Step four ` watch Married at First Sight NZ thanks to Sodastream. After the couples' first night back into their honeymoons, they are settling into the living together stage of the experiment. For Wayne and Ksenia, that may take some extra effort. Shit. What happened? I hope you like 'em crunchy. (LAUGHS) You can pick your breakfast if you want. On the surface, they may not have a lot in common. The top's good. Can I pick those two and you have the rest? But if they hang in there, they might find at a really fundamental level, there are other things that they're really on the same page about. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) They've gotta give it a chance. What are we gonna do today? Play golf? No. (CHUCKLES) Are you sure? Mm-hm. I haven't played golf for ages. But ages is for a few days. This relationship is a unique situation. She's not typically my normal type, um, just because of how quiet and reserved she is. Anything else but golf. So mini golf's out? Out, out. Mini golf is out? Out. OK, we can go bird watching. (LAUGHS) I also like to go the beach and count the sand grains. (LAUGHS) Do you wanna do that? Definitely compromise has to be in a relationship to make a relationship work. That's probably why it is gonna be a more difficult relationship because I feel as though I'm pretty good on compromise. If it gets to a point where there's no compromise, that's when I'll probably go, 'Hey, look, it's not gonna work because you can't be so set in your ways it affects the other person. 'You gotta share and compromise.' What's better ` croissant or me? Croissant. (LAUGHS) Living together is where the romantic phase is over and all of a sudden the reality of those day-to-day actions, they get to experience. They may well not like what they see, but they may also be developing a stronger relationship, and an understanding of who their partners are. What? A dish tray? Yeah, the drying racks. No, husband. I've never moved in with a girlfriend before, so bad habits is probably leaving the toilet seat up. It is a big step that I haven't had before, but obviously I'm ready for it. So what are we gonna have for dinner? I don't know. What do you want? What do you reckon? Well, it will be nice to have a nice and normal, simple salad. (LAUGHS) Salad? Yeah, a nice big salad. Should we cook a bit of pasta? Pasta, yeah, pasta is good. Pasta or something like that. Yeah. Are you cooking or me cooking? I'll cook. I'll cook, all right? (BOTH LAUGH) OK, that's fine. I'm a bit worried that something may happen because everything is going perfectly, and I still feel like I'm in a dream. Sure you trust my cooking? Do you trust my cooking? (LAUGHS) Obviously, I cook a lot of single man food, so it's just enough for me to keep myself happy. Obviously, now I have to try and branch out a little bit further to try and impress Yuki with my cooking. I don't know how well that's gonna work, but we'll see how we go. This is when you would say, 'Yes, I do trust your cooking.' Yes, I do trust your cooking. 'It's going to be really nice. I'm going to enjoy it. I promise.' (BOTH LAUGH) The moving in phase of this experiment is so important because it becomes real. It's the first insight into life beyond this experiment, but also life beside and along side their partner beyond this experiment. Tonight's dinner isn't gonna be set, because we're actually gonna announce our cult living. This is Rodney. Rodney, this is Rodney Hyde. OK, so we have just had, kind of, our first little disagreement or argument. Not a bad one but, um, Tayler seems to be pissing me off because his ear is sore and he won't go to the doctors and do something about it. So I've had to literally force him out to go to White Cross and be like, 'Go sort it out, 'I don't want to hear you keep complaining.' Um, so, yeah, have the house to myself` well, apartment to myself for a while, because he's finally gone to sort his shit out. When couples join together, they're like two bubbles that overlap on top of one another, and a successful relationship, is learning to be able to stretch out those bubbles so sometimes we're separated, but we come back together at all times. We had our first argument last night, which wasn't amazing. I slept in one room, and he slept in the other. I just really wanted some space. David wasn't really understanding of that, really, and he, kind of, got really annoyed at me. At the time he didn't really listen or understand. He took it quite badly. I'm running out of coffee pods real fast. To be honest, it's counterproductive, especially for me, to spend every waking minute with someone. Hmm. Um, cos it's just not who I am. I like to have space. I like to be by myself. I'm sort of conscious that there is a time frame for this. You know, the in and out, the toing and froing, the 'I'm not sure. Are we together?' It's really tough. Isn't Sam cooking tonight or...? No, I'm gonna out with him tonight. Um. I don't know, what will you do? Is that OK? I'm not a relationship expert by any means, but I would've thought in terms of making a relationship work, one of the biggest things is doing things together. It's like, 'Well, what is going on?' how reserved a woman she is, that, um,... yeah, we just took things slow, didn't put no pressure on it. Isn't Sam cooking tonight or...? No, well, I'm gonna go out with him tonight. Is that OK? Yeah. It's up to them how they really manage the boundaries and time and ensure that they're looking inwardly towards their relationship, rather than investing too much time outwardly and what's going on around them. Is Tayler going? Uh, don't know actually. Might` Probably. I don't know, though. Maybe not. But if you're not OK with it, please can you just say. Nah, I'm sweet. Nah. I'm still not convinced. Really? Yeah. Spending 24/7 with someone is really, really tough, and especially for me, because I'm a really independent person, really like my own space. Are you sure? I would normally be, um, a tad sulky, uh, but she,... She just won't tolerate that. She just cracks a whip. Just don't let Sam lead you astray. (LAUGHS) It'll probably be the other way around. They've moved from Bali, and that environment amongst a group, to an environment that they're familiar with. So this is their turf, and they can now define their terms. You want some sugar? Nah, I've spread enough. (LAUGHS) Oh, I was waiting for that reaction. Like what kind of stuff do you buy or eat. I know that sounds really weird; like it's such a weird question, but... Um,... Either I eat something small or go out. But that doesn't` doesn't give me an idea of what you cook or what you eat, or` so for me I cook a lot of stir fries. I cook... Oh, that's all good. It's probably not the easiest to please Sam. We're both thinking things, but just don't know how to say things. Let's say you come home from work, what's your routine? Um, I don't know what I would usually eat. He's been telling me about how good of a communicator he is. I give him so much opportunity to talk, ask me questions, and he just doesn't, he goes, 'I don't know.' He's just real blaze about things, and it's (BLEEP) frustrating, yeah. Literally, anything is all good. You're not giving me` I'm not really fussy. You're not giving me much, God. I'm probably gonna piss off and go to the gym. I told Tayler, 'Don't come with me. That's just my alone time. Would piss me off if you do.' My biggest problem is me being so independent. I think the most effective ways for couples to cope with moving in together is to actually lower their expectations, that this other person needs to do things my way. I think going in with an open mind and going in with an attitude of, 'Well, we are going to be doing things differently, 'and I need to let go of some of my, kind of, ideals or little quirky habits.' What's your middle name? I don't have a middle name. Do you really not have a middle name? I don't. (CHUCKLES) I'll give you one. What? Shaniqua. (BOTH LAUGH) What is this? Talulah. (CHUCKLES) I think we still have quite a bit to learn about each other. He's very spontaneous. He likes racing. He likes motorbikes. He likes everything that what I don't like. So, we'll talk about the next two weeks. Yeah, what's gonna happen, do you think? I don't know, as long as we're having fun` What would you want to happen? What I want to have? Yeah. Well, obviously I want you to stay around, so... just have fun and get to know each other. Yeah, those concerns, they haven't disappeared. They're still there. From what I understood, no he doesn't have a job right now. He resigned. He's an Australian citizen. If nothing holds him in Taranaki ` no job, nothing ` you know, where does he live? I'm more` I guess I'm bit more grounded than him. That's possibly what's holding me back. What do you want out of this whole thing? Ideally, out of this whole thing, I would like a husband. (WHISTLES) That's gonna be a tough ask. (LAUGHS) For the show, I quit my job. Probably gonna take this downtime to get to know my wife. I know where a good looking husband is. (LAUGHS) Good looking husband I've got covered. There's a lot of options in Australia for me to, um, fly in and fly out over there. Um, and help out on the bush fires and the helicopters over there. Maybe relieve a bit of air crew, so they can have some time off and then, yeah, just going in as a replacement role. But very much 100% committed to this. Let's see what comes out of it. The biggest challenge for the couples at this stage will be the speed in which they've entered into this experience and the speed that they're having to progress this new relationship. So they really need to be sympathetic to the other person, but also be kind to themselves in terms of where they're at. WHISPERS: Saucer. WHISPERS: OK. WHISPERS: Otherwise you'll stain the wood. I'm sure there's plenty of people that have put it on the wood before. I'll put it on the sauce, though. I think if you weren't here, I'd just be like, '(GRUNTS).' it's really good, though, thanks. You're welcome. Breakfast by Fraser. So in the first couple of days of the experiment, I definitely had to rationalize, uh, how I felt, and then realized, 'Oh, wait a second I'm being insane.' Who wants to say 'I love you' after three days? But at the moment, I'm actually quite comfortable with the pace of change, and if anything I would say there's definitely an attraction between Monique and I. Oops. She's more dorky than she makes out to be. But in a really, really, like, adorable way. This is definitely much more lavish breakfast than I'd have, like, day to day during the week. Once we run out of bacon, there'll be no deluxe breakfast. We'll go with the, you know, two Weet-Bix. Two Weet-Bix. I can't stand Weet-Bix, actually. (GASPS) I don't understand, like, the... It's just like real soggy` That's a` That's a deal-breaker. That's a deal-breaker? That's a massive deal-breaker. How can you not like Weet-Bix? When the couples move in together, they'll be exploring and seeing some things that they haven't as yet seen before. The romantic phase is over, and now they're getting to experience life as a normal everyday couple. This is romantic. Do you wanna hold my hand? No. (LAUGHS) No. (LAUGHS) Fine, then. They'll be looking very, very closely at what their partner is doing, but also what they're not doing. Let's go there, where the kids are. But I'm not a kid. I am. (LAUGHS) If you all day you have to be, like, you're expected to be more serious and... but I guess it's just` It's just not me. Oh, look they've got swings. They've got cool stuff. I still like to be childish and playful. That's you. Yeah, maybe you can kiss the frog, you might get a prince. I have to push you like a little kid. Definitely, in the last couple of hours I've learned a lot, which I wasn't expecting. I'm so not getting on a swing. One was the playground. Why not? Cos, um,... I'm 32. You done with your daily play? No. I wasn't really having a bar of it, to be honest, cos I thought it was so weird, and then she just enjoyed herself so much, I was like, 'Oh...' Take the little kid. I always thought I was a kid at heart, yet I was the one being sad. Get ready to catch him. Well, this little kid is gonna be more graceful than you. (LAUGHS) And then even when we'd finished, she, like, ran back and went again, and I was like, 'Oh, this is really cool. A good playful side.' As I said, like, keep calling her an onion, but it's just more stuff. Can you hold my hand? Yeah, I'm really excited to. I sort of have to open up more, I think, now. Cos I'm the one going, 'Oh, she's not opening up. Let's see what she's about.' But I think I'm` I gotta start doing some stuff of my stuff and see if she enjoys it. Stop. Stop staring at me. What? Look somewhere else. OK, OK. I think there is a connection. We just` At this stage, I'm just liking his company, and we just need to see whether it's gonna grow, and if I'm gonna like him in a different way. You are completely in my way. That's gonna put you still in my way. You should go on that side. Stand on the other side. I think` You should be out of my domain. Out of my domain. When the couples move in together, they will be trying to find their place in this domestic arrangement. I've already peeled` What should I do, then? You should look` You should look fantastic. Only... Easy. You just wake up looking fantastic. I'm beginning to flirt a little bit. Hopefully she realizes it. Oh my God. Is that how you cook? That is how I normally cook. If it doesn't have a bit of drama in it, then it's not proper cooking. It's made with love. (LAUGHS) Still going slow. I don't want to rush anything. I want it to feel completely natural, and I want us to feel comfortable with it. I'm gonna add a bit of pepper to this, cos I know you don't quite like spice. Oh my God, I'm not, like, that against spice. I can handle pepper. Oh my God, I'm not that pathetic. You're not pathetic at all. I know. I just don't know how much you like or dislike things. The main thing that's holding us back at the moment, or holding me back, is that his sense of humour is really different. Uh, I was thinking that the soy sauce would go really well on the mashed kumara, uh, and then I was gonna add some of these` Are you being sarcastic or serious? I am being sarcastic because my next step was I was gonna be adding some chocolate milk as well instead of ordinary milk. Yum. That's very important having a similar sense of humour, but I think it hopefully comes with time. Yeah. You are very good at cooking. (LAUGHS) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) We you want to see them in their boots and all. We want them to go, 'Yep, look, we've got some differences here. Not quite sure we're matched here, 'but I can see it here, but, look, we're in the experiment. 'Let's decide that we're really going to find out about each other and see why we've been matched.' The couples have made it through their first full day living together. Yummy, I hope you're not on a diet. Yeah, I hope I don't die either. I mean die` die` die. God, where you going? What do you mean 'where am I going?' Antarctica or something? The Bacon. Jamie Oliver, eat your (BLEEP) heart out. Give us a Russian pose. Yeah, there's a Russian pose. # Big, big booty, cos you got a big booty. # Please, can you get a video of me doing that. What? (LAUGHS) When you move in with someone 24/7, you have to be able to negotiate, you have to have great communication skills. You have to be solid and strong and confident enough to say what you want and need. We actually ran out of coffee cups. We can have bowls of coffee. Yeah, OK. If we are not honest, if those boundaries are blurred, your partner doesn't know where they stand. They can't trust your yes and they can't trust your no. So tomorrow morning, I'm gonna make you get up in the morning and come to the gym with me. So that's my one thing I want you to do for me. What's one thing you want me to do for you? I really don't know. Oh my god, give me something` I don't know. Give me something. I am getting very frustrated with him. His attitude is always 'I don't know,' or 'I'm just going with the flow. I just take it day by day'. And it's like cool but like, I fully understand that. That's fine. People do that, but for me, I don't want that. I'm like, mate, you don't know me. I mean, you've still got so much to learn about me, and I'm not gonna be able to give it all without you asking. I feel like your wall is still up a little bit. You think my wall is still up? Yeah. Example. Um. I dunno. I feel like there's something that you want me to ask you, but I'm not sure what that really is. Well, have you asked enough questions to figure out what that is? No. Exactly. Some of the stuff that he comes up with is so surprising to myself. I have no words. He's told me that we'll never go to the gym together. When he said today, 'I want you to come to the gym with me,' like he's asked a million times, and then he gets angry at me because I've got no comeback. It's like, well, my mind's working at a million miles an hour. I've got nothing now. I just go with the flow, you know that. Does that annoy you, though? Yeah, it does. It does. We've had this problem since the start, really. Can he fit into my lifestyle? I really don't know. It kind of just pissed off. It really pissed me off. It looks like you're thinking. Yeah, I'm always thinking. But you don't. We all have our own, patterns and habits when we're in a domestic situation ` all our little petty likes and dislikes. It's where all the small stuff comes to the fore, and it's highly likely that the other person will do things differently. I just go with the flow. You know that. Does that annoy you, though? Yeah, it does. It does. We've had this problem since the start, really. Can he fit into my lifestyle? I really don't know. It kind of just pissed me off. It really pissed me off. Looks like you're thinking. Yeah, I'm always thinking. I feel like you` You don't. I took four weeks out of my life. I have a busy schedule myself. I've come in here to` for the right reasons, cos we've got only three to four weeks, and that's why I'm pushing so much. It's just I'm so used to always having something planned ahead, and you're just like, 'I'll go with the flow,' and I'm like, 'Oh my God.' Everyone wants me to change. I guess I am who I am. I guess we have to try to make it work or watch it crumble, I guess. It's going to be a test to see how each couple navigate those differences, how tolerant they are with one another and how much they decide not to sweat that small stuff. I think the only thing that I'm annoyed at right now is probably the fact that he just, kind of, walked off to see his mate. Couples coming into this experiment, if they only focus on what they're not getting or what they didn't get or what wasn't on their wish list, I think they go down a negative spiral and they start to get more and more disgruntled. Hey. Say som` Say something. Can you hear? (LAUGHS) No. I can't hear anything. A lot of boys I dated was very selfish. Everyone's got hurt in the past, so it's now just like, 'Oh, is this like it's going to happen or...?' Really, I'm hoping to have something more than just a friendship because this is a marriage experiment, so I'm not here to make friends. So, yeah, hopefully, something a little bit more will be lovely. Oh, I like that one. Which one? That little one. That little one there? Mmm. This one here? No, that one. Oh, I was gonna say. You could sleep in that one, but it's a rough night's sleep. I'm seeking a little bit more deeper connection, one more step forward to have a little bit deeper, maybe like about how we think things or what we want in the future kind of type things. Maybe, obviously, where we're going to be after all this experiment, the kind of things like that. Yeah, now, this one is what I want. (BOTH LAUGH) That's the one I definitely want. Wow, so cool. It's so pretty. Yeah. Wow, that's huge. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm a pretty simple easy-going bloke. (LAUGHS) (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) I'm only surface deep. There's no deeper meaningful type of person, and it's like it's just who I am. It's, like, it's... yeah. I mean I'm not an emotional person or anything like that so yeah, yeah. That's the way it is. Sweet as. It's nice. That one. Should we move toward the middle? I dunno. Is that all right there? Will that work? You want the harbour? Yeah. I just don't want to get hurt, so, the back of my head is like, maybe something will happen. Thank you. Sweet. Awesome. Thank you very much. All right, sweet as. You wanna head back? Cos you just never know. Nothing is forever. It's` Nothing is 100%, you know? With Tayler left reeling after his walk with Samuel, he has gone to Julia for some advice. The one thing that really pissed me off today. Oh, what? And I'm gonna hit him up about it is... he... basically walked off. Ah. OK. And without even` like I knew that he was going to meet his mate at, um, like for lunch. But I was, like, 20 meters away. This is more important right now. Yeah, yeah. Like, could you not have waited, and said, 'I'll see you later.' Yep. The way I felt when he walked away from me... To me, it felt like he had turned his back on the situation, uh, literally and hypothetically. OK, cool. Yeah. Like, what's more important? Like, am I your priority or is lunch your priority? Yeah. So... that's` That's fair enough. That's one of the things that just really pissed me off today. Yup, nah, that's fair enough. For me, I'm sort of both their confidants, and I love both of them so much, and I really want them to work cos I see potential in it. So for me I really want to be able to help and maybe give Tays a bit of insight. Well, OK, he talked about, um, the whole planning situation today, and... I didn't really want to ruin his surprise, but I was gonna take him bowling tonight. Aw. And now I just feel, you know, very drained from that. I just probably won't really enjoy myself. It feels like every little date we go on to or every little stroll or walk I... like, end up feeling like absolute shit. I don't know, just don't give up, because I think you've got the basis of everything right here in front of you. You just... the communication thing and just... Need to be more assertive. Yeah, really assertive, more proactive and just really get in there. He wants someone to make plans and be more... cos he's testing you, so he knows that he can walk all over you, and he doesn't want that. See, these are these little games that I don't want. Yeah, I know. Are you in it, like... for what reasons? No. But at the same time` No, he is in it for genuine reasons. I'll tell you that right now. There's nothing he doesn't tell me. I do know that I need to be more assertive on some things, and if that's what Sam probably needs, then, yeah, I'm gonna have to look at changing the way I communicate more. I think that's the first time that I was probably really... Yeah. pissed off this whole, um, experiment. Understandably. Totally understandably. I think the worst thing to do is probably to not do anything and just stew over it. It's all about communication. Yeah. More salt. So, tonight, Monique and I have invited around some friends and family just to have a dinner party with us. Here tonight is my younger brother, Hammond, and his partner, Devon. And Monique has her friend Sasha, her cousin/friend India and her mum, Lucy. If I've gotten it round the wrong way, I'm so doomed. (LAUGHS) Fraser's taken Monique's last name. Fraser Lee. (ALL LAUGH) That's very Fraserly of you, Fraser Lee. But she is Monique Pierce, because it's a strong teacher name. It is a good teacher name. Strong teacher name. Especially with the initials M.P. M.P. Exactly. There's a real pressure on each of the individuals to put their best foot forward and show the best versions of them to their partner's family and friends. More salt. I just saw that your hair, it's sort of quite similar to Monique's hair colour. I think every guy wants, uh, the mum's approval. And so I'm hoping I leave a good impression on her. Um, because, you know, family's important. Actually, mine is probably` when it's long, it goes wavy. But sorry. When it was, when it was. Not when it goes, cos it's been a long time. He has had very long hair. It's been a long time. Really? I really want to get along with Monique's mom, but if we don't get along, then it's better to know now than, say, six months down the line when we're engaged and getting marr` Oh wait, it's too late for that. It's too late. I don't know, I had long hair because I just liked being different. And people told me that I sh` I would look good with short hair, and I was like, 'No, I'll look good however I want to.' Were you in a heavy metal group or something? (LAUGHS) Was I in a what, a youth metal group? - H` - (ALL LAUGH) A heavy metal group. (LAUGHS) Same thing I think. - Uh, I do actually quite like metal music. - (ALL LAUGH) He seems very outgoing and fairly mature, I think, compared to the, um, male counterparts Monique had before the wedding. What's your favourite thing about one another? Mmm. I` Well, I think I would go back to what... Oh, I feel awkward. I know. You don't have to say anything. Just... Oh, fine, I won't, then. Oh yeah, she's cool. No, no. I asked the question. I guess the thing I like about you is that you... are really considerate about other people's feelings and emotions. Like, you... you always try to look at the best in people as well. And that's... That's nice. Thanks. I'm looking for compatibility. Research now tells us that people who are similar are more likely to sustain a long-term relationship than people who are different. I find it hard to imagine there's any other couple as well-matched as you two, though. Oh, that's cute. I really, you know, I, honestly. Cos, yeah. How do you know? Well, I mean, in the whole world, it's just pretty hard to meet someone else who's pretty similar to you. You're putting the pressure on us. What's the pressure? We've only just been dating three weeks. We've only been together three weeks. We're not married` Oh, we are. We are married, yeah. Monique and Fraser are very well-suited. Looking at them interacting on, I think they are pretty well-matched in their personalities. But whether that leads to a happy marriage, I'm not sure. They might be too similar. This morning, Tayler and Samuel are trying to move forward after their fight yesterday. (SIGHS) So, yesterday was quite intense, eh? Just a little bit, yeah. Me and Tayler, we had a little bit of a, um` We had some conflict. For some reason, yesterday, it really` it really pissed me off. I don't know what` whatever he did, really grinded my gears. And that doesn't normally happen a lot, and he can tell that he really pissed me off. I mean, if we were to go through this process without a` kind of, a hiccup or an argument... Yeah. I would think there would be something wrong. Yeah. I mean, it's kind of almost too good to be true. I don't know. No one's perfect, so... Until yesterday, I 100% saw a future with Tayler. Um, right now,... uh, 50/50. I guess we can't really sweat the small stuff. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I was probably exhausted` I was probably exhausted, and you knew I had somewhere to be as well. Yeah, like I told you last night, that that was probably the one thing that really upset me is just how you just went off without saying goodbye. I think that's probably just the needy side of me. Like... You can't be doing that all the time. I know. Good. But, no, I think that was just the one thing that, kind of, upset me, and I just really wanted to talk to um... to Julia and... For me to go away, catch up with a friend for coffee` Yeah. And then come back and find out that you two have caught up... Oh yeah. when we haven't even caught up,... No, I've` ...really pissed me off. I was pissed off that both of them caught up. And I hit her up last night, and I actually said to her, I was like, 'That's not cool.' I was a bit betrayed that Tayler decided to go to her to talk about his problems and that knowing full well that me and her are really close. Don't go talk to other couples about me. Hmm. Um... I just honestly just wanted to vent. Like, it wasn't` You know it's called a phone. Your mum. Yeah. Your sister, your best friend. Good point. Let's just hope it doesn't happen again. It's a new day. Yeah. OK. Um,... so... I wanna... tell you something that I've kinda been doing. Is, um... (CLEARS THROAT) So, you know how I've had three open heart operations? Um, over the years. I've jumped on to a drug called Truvada, or PrEP. Mm-hm. So Truvada is a drug that prevents you from potentially getting HIV. And for myself, that's a big deal because if I do get HIV, it could really destroy my heart and I'll deteriorate quite quickly. So, basically, that's um, more of a preventative for myself and my heart. Like I'm not saying that I don't wear or I haven't worn condoms while having sex. But it's just, like, it's mostly for my heart, to protect that. I just wanted to reassure him that I'm not sleeping around. It's solely just for, um, to protect myself, um, and my heart. OK, and you're telling me this because... This is me being open. Hearing what you said last night and, kind of, opening up, letting you know what's going on with me. I am taking things on board of what Sam's actually saying. I'm wanting to change 100%. I hope he's seeing in that light as well. That's a strong topic. Yeah. A strong topic. You just put it on me. Um. I mean, it's gonna take me a lot longer than toast and coffee to digest that. (LAUGHS) Yeah. Mm-hm. Sorry. It's cool, man. It's cool. I'm not judging. Don't worry. Mm-hm. I'm not judging. But to throw it on someone, 'I'm just, like, oh, OK.' Obviously, that's him opening up. I wasn't really expecting that to be the first thing that he was gonna talk about, as well. So... Yeah. I like this conversation. It's constructive. Well, it's bloody the (BLEEP) most I've ever got out of you, I think. (LAUGHS) Yeah, so that's just me listening to you from last night. Taking on board. I am taking on board. Mm-hm. Yeah. Well, let's see if you can do that for the next two weeks. Tonight, the couples have their first chance to chat with the experts. Wonder what they're gonna say to us. (CHUCKLES) I know. I've no idea. Gonna be, uh` We can vent some of our problems. Do you think we have any? I don't think so? It's an opportunity to discuss any issues within a supportive group. Why are you changing into a blue shirt into a blue shirt? Good point. I think I'm a little bit nervous. I'd say that I'm quite a reserved kind of person. I've got no idea what they're gonna ask me. And that's probably what's a little bit nerve-racking. The experts don't know us 100%. They might look at the picture and be like, cool. This is you, this is your background, this is your job. But at the same time, my personality's totally different. You're a perfect example. You come across as this staunch hard-ass. There's emotion there. Yeah, there's emotion. As for me, I feel like,... I don't know, I come across as this, um,... very crisp, could probably use the word, proper, person. But then underneath I'm... dead inside, pretty much. I'm such an independent person. I'm used to being on my own, doing my own stuff, not answering to anyone. Not coming home to someone. So it is, kind of, getting to know how far can I go with it? Yeah. I'm just looking at your room, and your room's a mess. OK, question. Should I wear` These are the options. (CHUCKLES) Is this a rhetorical question? No, no. This is a real thing. OK, but I might not listen to you, though. For me, the sorts of things that I hope to discover from today. It's sort of like, how do you navigate those differences when you're in such a high-pressure environment? Imagine that. What if I wore this and this. It would be like (BLEEP) Bananas in Pajamas. We actually should. It's going to be, obviously, quite a confronting situation. I'm going for matching. I don't think I can... I don't think I can... That level of synchronicity, it's just, mmm. I don't really like people telling me what to do. I don't want to have like a big D and M in front of all the other couples. Yeah, the blue combination's totes cute, but I don't want to be matching with you. It's embarrassing. You've just said you don't want to be matched with me. No, matching. (LAUGHS) I don't want to be matching. Shock horror. I hate to tell you, Monique, we are already matched. I guess it would be quite interesting to see, like, why they've paired us up. Cos we've got lots of similarities, but there's also stuff that's like, oh, my lord, like, we are very different. I think if Gareth started to become really serious, it would probably freak me out. I think marriage is just someone that has to listen to your crap stories. That's as far as I see marriage. What are you expecting? Or not expecting? God knows. I haven't really thought about it. You? I have no (BLEEP) idea. I'm more than happy whatever questions they have to ask. I'll go for it. I'm not going to hide anything. # I am so pretty, so pretty. # I wake up looking like a troll, but all good. A pretty troll? Pretty troll. You look really nice. Oh, did I wake up looking like this? That's very true. (CHUCKLES) If Gareth felt like there was something he needed to talk about, then I'd be up for it. But I think I don't go to other people for help. I'm a very much self-helper. Yeah, it'd be interesting to see why they matched us from their perspective. Yeah. I feel like we make them talk. Here's your moisturiser. Oh, that's... One of 200. Things haven't changed for me in the physical attraction side of things. The metrosexual thing is still, very, very vivid. To say the least. So, yeah. How was that barber? I just said, uh, just do it like Sam's, but I don't want it as short in the back. Cos Sam hasn't got a, um, fat head. Actually, he has, but... (LAUGHS) Oh my God. He's gonna kill you for that. I think David gets a bit jealous of Sam and I's friendship. He doesn't get the fact that I am independent and I really do need to have time away from him to talk about this. He's only gonna drive me away if I spend every waking moment with him. I didn't sign up for a stage-five clinger. Why? (LAUGHS) It's just that one little piece at the back, there. We get` I think you're being pedantic. No, no, no. That's a wash. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) I didn't even notice it. He did say to me he thinks I show more affection towards Sam than I do to him. You know, he's my friend; I feel comfortable with him. I don't have pressure or expectations from him. But I do from you. (EXHALES) You look amazing. You look great. Today I will be completely open and honest and who I am. Being honest with them is probably the only way to go. Why'd they put us together? I haven't really thought about it. How do I deal with this? The couples have been split into two groups and are waiting for their session with the experts. But there is a surprise in store for them. Hi, guys. ALL: Hi. Great to see you. Good afternoon, gentlemen. ALL: Hello. Fantastic to see you all this afternoon. You're all looking very dapper and very smart. So, look, the purpose of today is to actually just explain a few things that are going to be happening. You've had this time with your partner. I'm not sure how you feel about the person that you've ended up marrying. So what we're going to ask of you is, this afternoon, to have some time away from your partner to reflect on how the last week or two have been for you. It's really, really important that you use this time to have conversations as a group, but also to really reflect on the relationship on where you see it going. And what that future relationship may well look like. This evening will be your first commitment ceremony. It's too soon to focus on the future. Throw the word commitment in, and it makes me feel a little bit sweaty. What you'll be doing is you'll be writing down stay... or leave. A wee bit shocked that the commitment ceremony is so soon. It's been less than two weeks. Doesn't give you a hell of a lot of time with one person. Could be a good chance for the couples to actually realize who is actually happy and who's not. Well, I was gonna say, since I'm the only male in the room, it would be great to get to know how you females, uh, feeling, um, in this part of the experiment. Do you want to go first, though? No, no, no, no. I'm asking the rest of you. It's very unusual. So we have nothing to compare it to. Everything's so going so smoothly, it's like a` It's almost like I feel like a dream. Aww! You know, too perfect. So it's surreal. Yeah and now I feel like... (GASPS) Oh yeah, you get anxiety that there may be something there? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You've already caught him. What are you worried about? You just never know. So, I've got hurt so many times in the past, so you just never know. Let's just hope it's gonna be OK. How are you and Fraser going? At the beginning there was like so much pressure. Mm-hm. Cos he wanted to go into it, like, full throttle, like we're like married. And I was, kind of, wanting to go into it like, 'Let's just have fun with it to begin with 'and, like, just act like we're dating.' The questions I was asking was me asking the questions as if we were in reality and we were outside of this experiment. And for some of reason some of the girls weren't giving, I felt, an honest answer or they were holding back. You're supposed communicate through your partner about` We don't talk anything about specific our feelings or anything, and it's just supposed to sense it and feel it how the other person feels. No, it just depends who you are, for me no. (LAUGHS) Ksenia didn't even know what communication was. She was like, 'Uh, how do you communicate with your husband?' And for me, that was like a red flag straight away. I was like, 'What do you mean you're not communicating with your husband? 'I mean, don't you ask him those simple questions? Because I know I do.' I was like` Look at this one. Should I say that? (LAUGHS) Oh dear. 'I like big and sparkly,' that's all he needs to know. Communicate that. That conversation was (BLEEP) was boring. To be honest, like I went in there and I wanted to get to know the girls more. I don't know when he lives, whether it's Taranaki, Takanini. (ALL LAUGH) Australia? I've got no idea. They just weren't giving anything. I found some of them really dull. (LAUGHS) I don't want to be here. I'd rather be with the boys than actually sit in this room and talk to half of you girls, so, yeah... NIGELLA LAWSON: Hello, chocolate lovers. James Henry Whittaker came to New Zealand because he was restless to find a better way. It's something that Whittaker's have stuck to generation after generation for well over a hundred years, and now Andrew and Brian have made a luscious new caramel filling. It's creamier, more buttery and velvety. Better in every way ` just as JH would expect. Exactly. Well said. (UNSETTLING MUSIC BUILDS) This evening will be your first commitment ceremony. What you'll be doing is you'll be writing down 'stay' or 'leave'. In anticipation of the commitment ceremony, the couples have been split up into two groups and are reflecting on their relationships. To be honest, like, I went in there, and I wanted to get to know the girls more, and they just weren't giving anything. I found some of them really dull. I don't want to be here. I'd rather be with the boys. I'd rather be with my husband than actually sit in this room and talk to half of you girls, so, yeah. Just before we rocked up, she gave me the shirt tonight. Hey, hey! That's a real nice shirt as well. It's nice, man. I was like, 'I probably wouldn't have got it myself', but now I put it on, I'm like, 'Yeah` Makes your eyes pop. Hey, thanks. (ALL LAUGH) My fashion's apparently shithouse, but` (LAUGHTER) Your tiger shirt was pretty fantastic. Yeah, I love it. Do you still have it? Or did she throw it out? Uh, I think it's over the balcony somewhere. (ALL LAUGH) Did she hang it out to dry and it just fell off? She's hung me out to dry a few times. (ALL LAUGH) I keep coming back. (ALL LAUGH) Ksenia's a very hard woman to read. So, yeah, shitting myself, really. You don't have to answer me, but are you and Dan sharing a bed? Yeah. Oh, you are? You are? Oh. Oh, that's good. That's good. You guys aren't, eh? Nope. You guys? We are. Oh, you are? Are you? Yeah. Are you? Nothing has, like, happened, but we're just sharing a bed` I'm shocked for you for some reason. I thought you wouldn't be. Well, I just thought that if we went into separate rooms, we would just take a massive step backwards. And, like, we're already kind of friend zoning each other, so I just thought we'd better stay in the same bed to make sure we progress. Strategic. Yeah. Actually, no, that's not my point of view of it. I mean, if anything, you not sharing the bed is you standing your ground and showing what kind of person you are. I'm not lonely. I'm just, like, 'get me a partner'. (CHUCKLES) They don't wanna tell us too much information, but in all honesty, I couldn't care about their relationship. I dunno, if I was five girls in the room or if I was with my kind of friends, I would bounce off each other, I would ask questions. It's a lot to deal with. Yeah, 100%. Yeah, I mean, that first day was a rollercoaster. Highs and lows. You just` Your neck is up. Yeah, yeah. Well, you don't know. And, like, you know, you walk in, and I don't know about you guys but I saw Ottie's name before I saw her, and I was like, 'What the (BLEEP) is an Ottie?' (ALL LAUGH) We were watching Deep Impact last night, and she was crying before the end of the world scene. She cries all through movies. (LAUGHS) Oh, really? Yeah. She's like, 'Every movie, I cry in.' I'm like, 'Oh, jeez'. I'm sitting there laughing. Oh no. You were laughing at her crying? No, no, I wasn't. But I'm laughing at the movie, and she's there crying. She goes all emotional. 'Oh no, that sucks shit'. (CHUCKLES) I'm one of those people that like to sit back and listen. And there's not a lot that phases me. Um,... at the same time, like, that could be a bad thing, because that might look like I just don't really care, but Sam knows that, like, I've got a hard-looking exterior, but in the inside, like, I'm pretty damn emotional. Um, so, yeah, I think that was` that is probably the biggest issue. Do you think that Sam will say 'yes' to Michael? Can I be completely honest? Yes. Look, I've got to take into a few considerations, um, whether I stay or whether I go. And Tayler would probably be surprised, sitting next to me, hearing the stuff that would come out, so,... yeah. Don't do it, Sam. I don't want you to make me cry. I heard that's your thing. (BLEEP) off. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Commitment ceremony's gonna be flooded with a lot of emotion and a lot of anxiety and a lot of anticipation. There is a lot at stake. There is pride. There is also the relationship ` whether or not they choose to remain with their partner or to leave. I can see why we've been matched. I'm not sure if it's enough for a couple to succeed and fall in love. I have no idea what Gareth's... decision is gonna be, to be fair. I think maybe some of the couples might have discussed it beforehand, but I like everything to be a surprise, obviously, so we shall see. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) It is a bit daunting doing it in front of all the other couples. Maybe he'll throw me a bombshell, and I'll be like, 'Oh God'. Hopefully not, but, um,... we'll see. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) There is a sense of vulnerability going into tonight. And I don't like being vulnerable in front of a large group of people, so that does make me feel a little bit nervous. Good evening, guys. Welcome to your first commitment ceremony. And hopefully you've spent the afternoon just reflecting on the relationships and having a think before you have to make the decision of whether or not you choose to leave or stay. So to start off with this evening, can we begin with Ottie, Gareth? Please come to the couch. (ALL CLAP) Welcome. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) How's it been going? Good. BOTH: Yeah, good. Good. That's all we're going to give you. That's all`? (ALL LAUGH) Tell us a little bit more about 'good'. Um,...yeah, it's` We said verbal vows,... but we're emotionally not married. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) Yeah, that's probably` Because it's too early. Right. So you're not feeling anything special towards each other? I don't, uh` You can answer that. I'm not (BLEEP)ing answering anything. (LAUGHS NERVOUSLY) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) It is hard to say, because I enjoy spending time with Ottie. And I think that's a good basis for anything. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) So is it growing and getting stronger day by day ` the attraction? The attraction, I think, is something very private between both of us. Are you asking if we're having sex? No, no, I'm not asking that. I'm just asking whether you're building towards a relationship, rather than a friendship. QUIETLY: What's a relationship? (BLEEP)! (UNSETTLING MUSIC BUILDS) I thought, you know, do you not need to be friends with the person you're with? You do, but I'm` and building towards something more, cos that's what this experiment is. But as we've said several times ` and I don't mean to be rude or anything ` but, for us, it is a day by day thing. We're not looking six months into the future, a year into the future; we're taking this day by day. I don't even know if I'll be alive. (AWKWARD MUSIC) What day is it? Friday? Yeah, I probably won't last the weekend. (CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY) I don't think the experts were quite ready for myself and Ottie. If we're not comfortable talking about it, we're not going to. They're there to do a job. I appreciate that. But I don't think they've ever come across anyone like me and Ottie on this sort of show before, so... So it is an experiment. And we're looking at 'have we matched you well?' I'd say, from that side of things` Yeah, I think we're a good match. Yeah. Yeah. From the beginning, we've been getting on very well` Trouble. And I think you've probably created a monster. (LAUGHS) We could take from that that something's building there. You can take from it what you want. (AWKWARD MUSIC) There's a really tight alliance between you two. We're just very similar. You are. Just scathing and evil on the inside. I'd say, they're probably frustrated that we weren't sitting there pouring our hearts out to them. There were certain times they asked us about things that we weren't comfortable about. And, yeah, I'm gonna stick to my guns when it comes to that sort of stuff. Maybe you could actually have a few conversations just about, 'How are we going in the relationship? 'Are we growing? Is the relationship developing?' For me, personally, if you ask me about tomorrow, it freaks me out. (UNSETTLING MUSIC BUILDS) Maybe do it differently, just for this experiment, because we are looking at growth. So you're happy with where you're both at, at the moment? Yeah. And the pace that you're both going? Yeah. I don't think there's a determined pace. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) But I think there is. Is there, though? Well, in terms of a relationship, going day by day, that's very, very short term. I did 13 years day by day. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) And how was that for you? That made me very intimidated and very uncomfortable to sit down and talk to three people that have watched my life unfold that I know nothing about. For me, that's an uncomfortable situation. (BLOWS LIPS EXASPERATEDLY) I really wanted them to... (BLEEP) off. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) It's the first commitment ceremony, and Gareth and Ottie are struggling to open up to the experts. I did 13 years day by day. And how was that for you? (UNSETTLING MUSIC) Fun. Funny. So, for me, day by day is all good. So this is how you do relationships? Yeah. For sure. Do my life, do relationships. Honestly, I'm such a pig-headed person, that I don't know if I take advice very well. I sort of conduct my own life how I want to. And I felt like, for me, that's why I shut down a little bit. Some of those questions were quite private and could be quite damaging if you haven't spoken about it with your partner. But this is an experiment that you're in. Yep. And we're looking at relationship and how relationship develops between a couple. So you have to give us something. OK. So you have to be in touch with your emotions. (CHUCKLES) Well, that helps. You have to have emotions. Right. I'll work on that first. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Everybody's got them. I'm so emotionally stunted, I have no idea what even falling in love means. Gareth can just do his own thing. I guess, if he falls in love in four weeks, then... gold star. Well, now's crunch time. OK, let's do this. So Ottie, you've gone with... ...'stay'. Soz about it. (BOTH CHUCKLE) Mine says, 'stay'. And it's got a diamond and a little crown on it. Oh my goodness. Oh, ugh. (AUDIENCE CLAPS) So there's an emotion right there. Yeah, disgust. (BOTH LAUGH) Thanks very much. Thank you. Good luck for the next week. Sorry for giving you a hard time. Not at all. Not at all. (AUDIENCE CLAPS) Even though I have no idea what the experts are talking about, I think there's always room for growth, as long as people are self-aware. And so me and Gareth are going in the right direction. Yes. I'm glad how you took all their advice on board and didn't question anything. (LAUGHS) Wayne and Ksenia, can you come and join us on the couch, please? (UNSETTLING MUSIC) Who would like to start and tell us how things are going so far? (ALL LAUGH) Strong Russian woman ` she can do it. (LAUGHS) I think we're going slowly, is probably the word. That's probably from the minute I probably seen her and realised, um,... sort of, how reserved a woman she is, that, um,... yeah, we just took things slow, didn't put no pressure on it. Um,... So you called her 'reserved'. Is that what you said? Yeah, yeah. Yeah? Fold a bit back, and she's, um,... she's like a bit of... an onion ` you gotta sort of open her up. And as you open her up, you'll get another layer that you can, sort of` A good onion, you know? Like` Probably like a red onion. (LAUGHS) Good one. So how have you managed to open her up? (LAUGHS) It's not my cooking. I'm ugly, so it's not my looks. So it's the humour... is the only way I can, sort of, get through. Yeah, so I just, um,` Wow. ...continue with that. Probably not. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) How do you see yourselves emotionally and on an attractive scale? When she walked down those stairs, I was straight away blown away that she was a beautiful girl, and I was a bit intimidated by it. Um, but for me, it wasn't about the looks, because I've had relationships like that before, it's` this time I want substance. Is the substance building? Yeah, it is. I` It's more from learning about her. What about you? Yeah, I can't fault` I can't pick any faults, um... I see why we got matched. I guess we're so different in one way and so similar in other way. He's probably the nicest guy I've ever been with. But, you know, I want a bad boy. Maybe that's what it is ` he just` he's just been too nice, too kind, too, too much of everything. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) So, Wayne, we haven't really heard too much about what your needs are and perhaps a conversation around how Ksenia could support those. Yeah, I just wanted someone who genuinely loves me for me. And we're both realistic, and we spoke about it. If we're not each other's cup of tea, then we're not gonna bullshit to each other and keep going. If we have a stagnant day where nothing happens, I sorta go, 'Hmm, is this the right thing?' It's just getting that spark of where the love's gonna come in. Yes. And for me, I'm just looking down the` down the, um, future, whether having common interests or not having them is gonna be enough to sustain a relationship if there's` if we don't have too many common interests. You're a racer; I don't even drive. What common interests can you say? (ALL LAUGH) I can't play golf. Yeah. So even this sort of stuff, that's what we mean, like` But we need our own interests as well in a relationship. Yeah, yeah. But you've also gotta have some in common. Like, I couldn't see myself dating someone who we were just polar opposites. So that's what we're just trying find out and learn and talk to each other to see if we do have something, cos there might be one thing that just brings us together, and we go, 'Oh'. Cooking. You know, we can cooking class, so cooking together. I've burnt things three days in a row. (ALL LAUGH) We're just quite different. I'm not spontaneous. I don't like changes. Yeah. And Wayne is the opposite, so, you know, one day he's here, tomorrow he's in Australia and then, um,... so that's what I` concerns me in a way. I think from day one, from our wedding, when Wayne said, 'I've hit that jackpot', And I'm like, 'Oh, hold on a second', you know? (CHUCKLES) So I think I'm quite stubborn, and I am quite reserved. I probably hold back a bit, cos not to be pressured too much. So when he said 'I won the jackpot', that felt like pressure to you? It did. Did it? Yeah, we were married, but to be like he owns me already ` that's what I meant. Right. Yeah. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) So a lot of women would actually have taken that as a real compliment. Really? I think. I felt a bit pressure ` pressure from Wayne, pressure from my friends, pressure from my family. They were like, 'Oh, you're such a great couple. Oh, you look so cool', you know? All that, I think, is pressure from everyone. Yeah. So, yeah, I guess, that's maybe I'm onion. So you want to be the one that makes that decision? Um,... yes. I'm still my own person, and, um, I want to have some space. A little bit shocked to hear that, um, complimenting my wife was taken in a negative fashion, which was quite odd to me. She just needs to probably ease up a little bit and take it for what it is and become my best friend, and then she can become my lover second, but there's no hurry on that. I'm noticing as I'm looking at you two on the couch, you're quite separate. There's, kind of, a gap between you. (ALL LAUGH) You're not looking comfortable. Yeah, we're not that comfortable just being, you know, all over each other and like Yuki and David. (ALL LAUGH) So, yeah, it's` that's what I'm talking about as all that pressure that I'm feeling from everyone. And it's possibly that it holds me back a bit. Are you anxious in relationship? No, not at all. Am I? I don't know. You chucked me a challenge, I reckon. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) So, Ksenia, in terms of moving forward, could you please tell us, do you choose to leave or stay? I'm pretty level-headed in this. If we're both not feeling it, we're not feeling it. 50/50 whether that works or doesn't work. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS, STOPS) Tomorrow night ` surrender dates will push the boundaries,... Oh my God! (YELLS) What have I done? I felt like I was thrown under the bus a wee bit. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS, STOPS) ...before our couples return to the real world. Gareth and his family are very close and very family oriented. I don't know how they're gonna take the fact that I don't want kids. I don't know why they were matched. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) But first, our remaining couples front up to their inner demons,... I get emotional about it, as well. I don't want to... (BLEEP)ing hell. ...in order to make the ultimate decision. I'm getting a feeling something's missing. Um,... I made a promise to myself to be completely honest right throughout this. Do you choose to leave or stay? (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018