Previously on Married at First Sight ` as the couples settled into married life back in Auckland,... You are completely in my way. ...there were first fights... I just go with the flow. Does that annoy you, though? Yeah, it does. Until yesterday, I 100% saw future with Tayler. Right now ` 50-50. ...and growing doubts. JULIA: He's only going to drive me away if I spend every waking moment with him. I mean, I didn't sign up for a stage-five clinger. A group catch-up caused tension. I don't want to be here. I'd rather be with the boys than to sit in this room and talk to half you girls. At the commitment ceremony, Ottie was cagey. In terms of a relationship, going day-by-day, that's very, very short-term. I did 13 years day-by-day. I really wanted them to... (BLEEP) off. But she and Gareth chose to stay in the experiment,... Soz about it. (CHUCKLES) ...while Wayne and Ksenia acknowledged their huge differences. You chucked me a challenge, I reckon. Tonight ` surrender dates will push the boundaries... Oh my God! DAVID: What have I done? I felt like I was thrown under the bus a wee bit. ...Before our couples return to the real world. I thought, um,... um, I thought I was ready to make the commitment, but I'm not sure. (SOBS, SNIFFLES) But first, our remaining couples front up to their inner demons... I get emotional about that as well. (BLEEP)ing hell. ...in order to make the ultimate decision. I'm getting a feeling something's missing. Um... I made a promise to myself to be completely honest right throughout this. And Ksenia and Wayne make their decision on whether to stay or leave. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) Copyright Able 2018 Step one. Buy a SodaStream. Step two. Save up to 2000 bottles a year by using on reusable bottle. Step three. Planet saved. Step four ` watched Married At First Sight NZ, thanks to SodaStream. (INSECTS CHIRP) TONY: So Ksenia,... in terms of moving forward, could you please tell us ` do you choose to leave or stay? Because, I mean you can't just, you know, say 'Click', and you'll just automatically fall in love with each other. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC BUILDS) Don't look. (LAUGHTER) I think it's only fair that you know. Have you seen? No, I haven't, actually. She's still hiding it. Oh, there's love hearts too. Oh, shit. You gotta pen? (LAUGHTER) Mine's a bit boring. I'm definitely staying. Stay. (APPLAUSE) Phew. Thanks, guys. That's a little bit of pressure. In the words of Beyonce, 'I am a survivor.' (CHUCKLES) That's all I got. Hey, guys. How's it going? Marvellous. How's it going for you guys? Not too bad. Good. So can you start off by telling us how things are going? Yeah, we're going really well. Everything's quite natural right now. We're really enjoying each other's company, so that's really cool. You look really relaxed in each other's company. Yes, we are. (LAUGHS) Rewind to the wedding day itself and actually seeing each other for the very first time. Wow. Wow. Yeah, I was certainly like, 'Wow.' Yeah, wow. (LAUGHS) Like, 'I've hit the jackpot' wow. Yeah, absolutely. I was like, 'Wow, I'm certainly punching above my weight here.' So you immediately kind of got into that bubble and you were attracted at first sight? Exactly, yeah, yeah. GARETH: 'Cool to see Dan and Yuki. 'They seem to be really, really close.' But at the same time, we don't know what's going on behind closed doors. Have you learnt anything about yourself, Yuki, in relation to Dan? Um... If you're single for a long time, you don't know how much snoring at night, because nobody there to tell you. (LAUGHTER) But I found this morning, he has earplugs. (LAUGHTER) Without telling me that he got it, so I was like, 'That is so sweet.' So you kind of trust him already? I trust him, yes. Wow. Do you trust me? 'Course I do. Absolutely. Oh, that's good. Yes, I'm very, very lucky. Even` I get so emotional even thinking about it. He's just so sweet. Like, he's just such a nice guy, honestly. I don't want to be rainbows and unicorns, but, I mean, right now, we're in a really good place, so I'm just happy and excited to be in this experiment and doing things with her. Well perhaps now's a good time, so I'll start with you, Dan. All right. I choose to stay. (LAUGHS) No surprises there. (LAUGHS) And Yuki ` to stay or to leave? (LAUGHTER) Yeah, we've got it good. Well done, guys. Yeah, cool, thanks. Keep it up. Cheers, guys. Cheers. Tayler and Sam, come on up, guys. Your turn on the couch. I'll sit on this side. 12 days in the experiment. SAM: We are, yeah. What's been happening for you? (TENSE MUSIC) I've had a wall up. Yep. I haven't been open 100%. I've struggled from the start with opening up. Do you know why that is, Sam? No, I don't, and it's really weird. I mean, I'm normally such an open person... with my friends, with my family. And with Taylor, for some reason, I'm not. And I get emotional about that as well. (BLEEP)ing hell. (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) (TENSE MUSIC) I've struggled from the start with opening up to Tayler, and he's aware of that. Do you know why that is, Sam? No, I don't, and it's really weird. I mean, I'm normally such an open person with my friends, with my family. And with Tayler, for some reason, I'm not. And I get emotional about that as well. (BLEEP)ing hell. (GENTLE MUSIC) You good? Yeah, I'm good. I was not expecting that whatsoever. I came into this experiment thinking the worst. And it's literally totally the opposite. (GENTLE MUSIC) STEPHANIE: What do you mean, 'the worst'? Look, um, being a gay male alone in Auckland is very hard. Yes. (EXHALES SHARPLY) With myself having a social media following, and a lot of that being in the LGBT community, it's... hard to find your soul mate. Or hard to find, um,... someone you connect with and... Sorry. I'm sorry. You're doing well. Mm. It's really weird because (CHUCKLES) I've been very hard up until this point. Yeah. Um... (SNIFFLES) So your worst fear was you wouldn't find the right person? Yeah. And you've been surprised? Beyond surprised, where, um... (SNIFFLES) Like, I've found it hard to tell him that. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) Because I've had this wall up. Wow. I haven't been open 100%. Yeah. But at the end of the day, I feel like it's now time to be more open to Tayler because he's my husband. He did show a vulnerable side of himself that I was looking for. Tayler, what's happening for you as you're listening to Sam? It is, like, really good that we've actually sat down here and able to really open up. Sorry. I feel like you just didn't really know how. But I do want to know most things about you. Like, you don't necessarily need to tell me straight away. This new marriage is a blank canvas. Aww. And that would bring us on to the future. Do you want to swap, and...? Yeah. Let's do it. Okay, so you're holding up Tayler's. Mm-hmm. And you're holding up Sam's? So Tayler, can you, first of all, show us Sam's ` whether or not you're going to leave or stay. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Oh, can you read it out? It says something beneath it. What? 'Stay if you can get your hearing fixed.' (LAUGHTER) So Tayler's had this problem with his ear blocked pretty much since the moment I had to meet him. And then when we went to Bali in the plane, it's been even worse. So, Sam, you choose to stay. Yes. Can you now reveal whether Tayler chooses to leave or stay? Stay. Oh, and a smiley face. (APPLAUSE) Congratulations. Every day that goes past, the relationship is growing. The marriage is definitely growing. I'm real excited. Monique and Fraser. (APPLAUSE) MONIQUE: Ooh, we got a clap. Welcome, guys. Hi. Hi. How's it been going? Good, good. It's been going really good. The wedding day itself was absolutely nerve-racking. And I've never been more nervous in my life. And when I finally identified the correct bride walking down the aisle,... (LAUGHTER) ...I was a lot less nervous. (LAUGHS) I can imagine. Yeah. Where are you at right now? Um... In Auckland. (LAUGHS) Where are you at right now in terms of your relationship? We're kind of just taking, like, slowly. Like taking it like dating, kind of, level. Is that what you mean? Is that what you're getting at? But what does that mean? Can you tell me what does that mean? I think it's been, like... No, no. Monique. OK. Oh. WHISPERS: Can't save you. Sorry. Um... (LAUGHS) I don't have like, 'Oh my gosh, like, I'm in love.' I don't have any, like, you know, big sparks or anything like that. But, like, it's been two weeks so... So is that OK? No pressure. Yeah. I think so. But there are feelings that are more than just a good friend? Yeah. OK. Good. 'I don't think Monique has fully opened up to me just yet.' But I can see her opening up more and more everyday. And I can feel like she is getting more and more comfortable around me, and to me, that's progress. I really enjoy getting to hang out with her. And you guys are all fantastic,... but I couldn't imagine being matched with anyone else here. (INTRIGUING, CURIOUS MUSIC) Like, this is... You've definitely matched me with the right person. (APPLAUSE) Wow. That was, like, real cute. You guys should all be feeling the same way. You shouldn't be applauding. (LAUGHTER) The time has come. Oh, I forgot that that was the whole point of the ceremony. (LAUGHS) Fraser, we would like you to go first. Dun-dun-dun. Make sure I get it round the right way. So... (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Aww. It's so little. OTTIE: Oh my God. (LAUGHS) That's a very little 'Stay'. (LAUGHS) My one is the opposite. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Not the opposite word, but the opposite font. (LAUGHS) That's an emphatic 'Stay'. Aww. I definitely want to stay in this experiment, because I came here to, like, get married and settle down. Like that's the main aim. There's just, like, a couple things that we need to work on. So last, but by no means least, Julia and David. Can you come and join us on the couch? (APPLAUSE) I don't think we have a lot to work on, because we're pretty sure of who we are and how we get on etc. 'I trust her 100%. I've been very, very open to date.' And I think that I've just got to carry that on, so yeah. So, who would like to start? I'll let Dave, for once. (LAUGHS) Uh... Coming into this, you know, there was a lot of things that, you know, I was sort of worried about. And when I got into it, I looked down the aisle, Julia blew me away. Aww. To be fair. This is quite rare for me. Jeez. So Julia, is any of this a surprise to you? No, it's not a surprise, because we talk a lot. We're really good at communicating, which is cool. Are you? We are. 'I made a promise to myself to be completely honest right throughout this,' because it's pretty hard and intimidating. But we have always been 100% honest. Do you feel attracted to David? Um, so... Yeah we're, like, best friends, I think, in a way, at the moment. I can see why we were matched, because he's` he make me laugh so much. Like, we just literally crack up on a daily basis. I'm getting a feeling something's missing. Um... I guess for me... (TENSE MUSIC BUILDS) Switch to Vodafone and get Vodafone TV Intro and three months' free unlimited broadband. That's over $640 of value. (TENSE MUSIC) I'm getting a feeling something's missing. Um... I guess for me, if I'm being entirely honest... Yeah, I'm not sure about the physical attraction at this point, because of his metrosexual side. I guess he has (CHUCKLES) more skin care than I do shoes. I like to feel feminine in a relationship, and I sometimes, feel like I wear the pants. I do want someone that's strong. And he is quite strong, but someone that can be, um,... a bit more man` Oh, (BLEEP). (LAUGHS) I've really got to be careful about how to word it because I don't wanna offend him. Um... In the past, it's not something that I'm attracted to. I'm attracted to masculinity. OTTIE WHISPERS: And I do sometimes feel a bit more like the man in the relationship. (TENSE MUSIC) OTTIE WHISPERS: And I don't mean to be harsh, but, yeah, a little bit, sometimes. GARETH WHISPERS: (UNEASY MUSIC) David, what's your response? (SIGHS) Well, I can see exactly where she's coming from, because that is me. And I'm not going to change that. And you need to be careful, because when we see the negative or expect to see the negative in our partner, we've got this part of our brain that unconsciously will keep looking for the negative. Mm-hmm. So what we need to do is look for the positive in our partner and the relationship and ourselves. We've found moments in this, when we're together without the other distractions of that environment, where we laugh the most, we talk the most, we express ourselves, I guess, genuinely. Perhaps there's a dynamic that's going on around you that's posing a distraction. I mean I've said it before, I think there was a couple of occasions, particularly on honeymoon, where we decided to double-date. In hindsight, I would've rather have taken that time myself and really got to know Julia in an environment that we were doing. So you'd turn back the clock if you could. And sometimes a group can become a distraction, where you're putting too much energy into certain members of the group and not into your partner and your relationship. Yeah, I... I agree with you, but I haven't done that, I don't think. (UNEASY NOTE) From their point of view, they've looked at it like, 'Maybe you've spent too much time with 'Sam and Tayler before spending time with Dave.' I don't agree with that. They're not in this experiment. They don't know how it actually is. So, the big question. Julia, can we perhaps start with you? Sure. Do you choose to stay or leave? (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Dun-dun-dun! (CHUCKLES) STEPHANIE: Ah. Stay. David. Yeah. Of course. Aww. cute. (APPLAUSE) 'I came on to this experiment to find love.' DAVE AND JULIA: Thank you. This is why I'm sticking it out, cos I still have hope. 'Coming into this, I'm extremely serious.' The hope is that at the end of this, it's more than friends. Mate. It's time to be assertive and work on some of the weaker areas. Are you good? 'I want to find the woman of my dreams. 'You can only invest so much, I think, before you realise that nothing's coming back.' JULIA: SAM: JULIA: SAM: JULIA: Our couples have left the commitment ceremony with much to consider. And, as a new day dawns, so does a new perspective on their marriages. Well, that's good coffee. 'Dave did mention that he is a bit jealous of Sam and I's friendship.' What it's done is it's raised more questions than answers, so I'm seeing a new side to Julia as a result of it. Which, um, you know, has probably brought, um, uh, challenges. I think someone wants to kill me. Have a look. I was doing the ironing this morning, so that's... Yeah, no, I nicked it last night before you used it. (LAUGHS) Looking suspicious. Can I make myself a cup of tea? Nah, nah. I've got a special one for you. (LAUGHS) There's a few things that I learnt after the commitment ceremony last night. She takes compliments as a bit of pressure, which I didn't realise. Me saying, 'Morning. Oh, you're looking great this morning,' she takes as pressure. Which could possibly end up pushing her away. So sort of like you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. (LAUGHS) Here's your tea, darling wife. Morning. Hope you have a great day. (LAUGHS) 'I actually don't know where I sit,' or how I go about progressing a relationship where she takes compliments as pressure. What's that? The experts have arranged to send these couples on a special date,... All right. Look what I found. ...with the intention of fostering or reinforcing a bond within their marriages. READS: Today, we are sending the two of you on a date of a very different kind. Surrender date. The surrender dates are a real opportunity to take control, but also for others to relinquish control. Ooh. Surrender date. DAVE: This is an exercise in letting go, compromising and learning about each other. 'It's an important part of the experiment designed to help your relationship grow 'and will test how willing you are to sacrifice your own wants and needs for your partner.' For those that will be relinquishing control, it's an opportunity for them to not feel that they have to take charge, because every couple needs mutual support. It can't be one way. That'll only last for so long. READS: David will be taking charge today. Wow. Wow. OK. READS: 'Wayne will take in charge today. 'Wayne, you going to take the lead and design a date that's purely for you.' (SCOFFS) Did you complain or something? READS: Tayler will be taking charge today. I'm always the talkative one. I'm always the one saying, 'Let's do this. Let's do that.' That's something I find attractive in someone, and that's, kind of, what I'm looking for. So, it was about, obviously, you know, sort of things that you love and all the rest of it and stuff like that. This one's supposed to be about you, though. No. So, what we're going to do is we going to, um, have a really, really nice dinner... Yeah? ...at the very top of the Sky Tower. (GASPS) Wow, really? I don't know if we can call it a surrender date, because I... He picked two things that I love. Right-oh. Heights and food, so I... Yeah, I was quite surprised. We're gonna go to a nude painting session. (LAUGHS) And you get to draw me naked. OK, we're gonna go shark diving. No. I'm not doing that either. (LAUGHS) Um... So, what are we doing? I can't tell you. It's a surprise. I hate surprises. (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) The experts have just sent three of our six couples off on their very first surrender date. TONY: By taking control within the surrender date, it's also a fantastic opportunity to show off who you are, what your interests are, what your passions are, what your hobbies are, and to show them off to your new husband or wife ` to really grow and for them to really reinforce those connections beyond the experiment. (ROUSING PIANO MUSIC) I can't wait to try their food. I feel like it's amazing. So, there's actually a reason why we're going down. I don't know if I should tell you or not. Oh, yeah, isn't it up? Yeah. So, what I'm gonna do, is I'm actually gonna push you off the Tower. Oh, I knew` I had an inkling! (LAUGHS) (SQUEALS) Oh my God! Obviously, today is about spending time with Julia, which is something I think we need to do as a couple. Happy? Oh, of course! I kinda... I had a feeling. Awesome. I` Yeah, I had a feeling. I can't wait. So, I'm really pleased to hear that. It's something that I know she absolutely loves and I think it might just, you know, bring a spark there and fire her up. And just take off anything loose. Yep. Oh, so, I can't wear heels? Aw. Did you bring a pair for me? Yeah. OK, cool. Yeah, here. Do you want 'em? Well, what are you gonna wear? I'll just wear these. OK. Yep. I think it's really cute, cos he's obviously quite selfless and really` he's really trying hard to make me happy and do the things that I like. You have big feet. I know. Superman. It's like a clown. (LAUGHS) Thanks (!) (LAUGHS) I was actually going for` Superman, OK. Yeah. I wanna see that smile that I've seen on the first day ` that laughter that we had. You know, I haven't heard that for a wee while. Never felt so sexy. (LAUGHS) The difficulty with a surrender date is that the dominant partner might always choose the activity, and it can mean that the other person can subjugate his or her needs. So it's really important on the surrender dates that each person actually has a say. Both people need to feel that their needs are being heard. Oh my God. Ah, piece of cake, eh (?) Amazing. Oh. Yeah, I wanna go first. This is Julia's thing. You know, just the banter on the way up and stuff like that, that's how I remember her, that's what I'm trying to get to. I'll go over here... to get away from that view. I knew you were scared, you big baby. (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) Big baby. It was really nice just to see her actually laugh again. Hi, good. What have I done? (WOMAN CHUCKLES) Have you done anything like this before? I have done many, and I've even done the highest one in the world, which is in South Africa. Oh, awesome. So, I think he thought he was gonna scare me, but I'm like, 'Nah, I got this. I got this.' I think, I mean, it was really selfless of him to pick something that he knew I would like, which is pretty impressive. Oh my God! Honestly, I think he wanted to see me under pressure and a bit nervous. Here she goes` Oh my God! Three, two, one, go! (SCREAMS) (LAUGHS) (SCREAMS) Oh my God! Whoo! (LAUGHS, SCREAMS) Oh my God. Oh, that was amazing. Wow. Oh, shit. (BLEEP!) What have I done? Ah, he'll be a big baby, I think. (LAUGHS) But he'll come down and be like, 'Oh, no, that was easy.' This was my idea as a date for her, but she's kinda turned it around on me now. Here he goes ` three, two, one, go! Whoo-hoo! (CHUCKLES) Whoo-hoo-hoo! (BLEEP!) Welcome back, man, how was that? Ah, dude! It's amazing. You OK? Oh my God, that is so good, isn't it? That was awesome. That was so great. Thank you. Shit. Obviously, I'm sort of driving the ship and so far, so good. (BOTH SMOOCH) You happy? Yeah. Enjoyed it? It was really quite cool. And now it's about us in a really nice dining setting. I'm looking for having that quiet time with her and enjoying ourselves. Back on the ground, Wayne and Ksenia are embarking on a date designed to put Ksenia in the hot seat. Is this today's rocket ship? (LAUGHS) Today's date isn't anything spectacular or anything, I think it's gonna be a learning curve for her, really, because she works for a car shop, but she doesn't actually know how to drive. Are you ready? (BOTH INHALE DEEPLY) (LAUGHS) We're gonna go out to the countryside and give her some driving lessons, which I don't know is gonna be more scarier ` my patience or her driving. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) (HUMS 'INDIANA JONES' THEME MUSIC) My background is... it's all been growing up with Motorsport. I done a couple years of racing in the Speedway New Zealand. It is a big part of my life. It's like my joy. I'm now gonna hand over to you and you get to drive. I get to drive? Yep. This thingy? (LAUGHS) Yep. Hell no. Are you serious? Yep. And then all professional drivers need a race suit, which I conveniently have with me. Get her lookin' right and it's all flameproof, so if she goes pear-shaped, at least she won't catch on fire. There you go, racer. Chuck that bad boy on. I'm not feeling that great. First of all, Wayne could've told me what I should have worn, so I'm not dressed, like, in dress pants and dress shoes like an idiot, and in some paddock. Everybody needs gloves, so you can get the optimal grip on the steering wheel, whilst doing 30K in the country. But I won't look good. Don't like it. I already don't like this date, it's doesn't- it's not gonna go well. Teaching me how to drive you have to be quite... (CLEARS THROAT) emotionally stable. I am not sure whether Wayne is like that. How confident are you? How confident are you? Now I'm scared shitless. (CHUCKLES) You shouldn't be. Crazy Russian wife in a race suit. (LAUGHS) We will see if we're still kind of a couple after the date. Let's go driving. (LAUGHS) It's back. (LAUGHS) I can't reach it. All I want from Ksenia today is just to have fun and let go of control. It's gonna be interesting, I don't think I've... asked for her to relinquish control before. (LAUGHS) Honestly, I don't think it's a good idea. Oh, no, it's definitely` it's definitely not. I think if she just goes with the flow and listens, I think she'll be fine. I don't think any one could be that bad of a driver but we're about to find out. In again. (ENGINE REVS) Probably put it in gear. Holy shit. I knew that she had done previous driving. She said she had five lessons, so I was pretty confident we would, we'd be pretty good. But, um, when she asked what the handbrake was I was, I gotta say, getting a bit worried. There you go. Use a bit of accelerator. And then just slowly... And then indicate. You just have to go up to the end of the corner so you can see around the corner first. Teaching my wife to drive is the most daunting thing I've ever done in my life. Nothing coming? Oh, shit. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) So, you know what 'give way' means? Stop here. No, just give way. You don't have to stop. So make sure there's no cars coming. OK. Cos this is a one-lane bridge. Oh, sure. I think she jumped into it and committed to what we were doing and didn't question it. There's two cars behind me, I'm, like, honestly, I'm afraid. Four cars behind me. I feel sorry for them. (CAR HORNS BLARE) Ah, they probably feel sorry for me too. (CHUCKLES) Maybe, um... You know, she was quite nervous and hesitant, but then I was giving her a bit of positive reinforcement and she was keen to keep going. There's like half of Auckland behind you. (LAUGHS) (CAR HORNS BLARE) And then on the other hand, it was sorta good to see her loosen up and abuse a few people. (BLEEPS) so close to me. (LAUGHS) Oh, holy (BLEEP!) Never actually heard her swear so much in her life. (CHUCKLES) Oopsie. I thought she was quite polite and quiet. (BLEEP!) She's definitely not quiet. (BLEEP!) Yeah, she was abusing people for just driving past us. Oh, look at that mother (BLEEP)er. (LAUGHS) (LAUGHS) It's a horse! Aw, shit. (CHUCKLES) I think, like, when you do something ` some sort of activity together ` and you sort of getting to know each other in, like, stressful situations, I think it's always good. But this wasn't boring, I enjoyed it. Oh, it definitely wasn't boring. (LAUGHS) But I think we both saw each other from different sides, from different perspectives, so I think it was... I think it was good. (CHUCKLES) This day's probably, yeah, showed me a bit more that she's willing to give things a go and definitely go outside her comfort zone. For some people, it's a simple thing ` driving ` for her it was so daunting and scary because she's had no experience doing it. Well, we survived. (LAUGHS) And she just laughed the whole time. I'm feeling happy. I'm glad I'm alive, cos it could have been a lot different. (CHUCKLES) (POIGNANT MUSIC) (BIRDSONG) Ah, Cable Bay. Look at that view. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) Well, this is a nice view. Thanks for bringing me here. It's all right. You deserve it. You did well for not knowing many places in Auckland. Well, I basically wanted to get out of the city. So what made you think that I would like today? We both talked about how we wanted to come here and I knew that you liked wine. I do listen. Even though I've got a... Yeah, you are getting better. ...a deaf ear. I think Tayler and taking me on this date today, and me not having any control is amazing. Tayler is unique and he's possibly someone I am looking for in the future. He fits everything physical-wise. I'm attracted to him, he's attracted to me. Cool, that's done, that's the easiest part. Now it's trying to find the inner side, but... Oh, thank you. Yum. Yes. Thank you very much. BOTH: Thank you. Want try some fish? This is the one time I'm gonna let you share my food... like, literally. (CLEARS THROAT) OK, I'm gonna sit in silence and talk to myself, that's fine. It's great (!) It's a great way to start this date (!) Yeah, I'm still not sure what questions to ask. I'm just a quiet person in general. So, when something needs to be said or something needs to be asked, I'll ask at that time, and I will say something at that time. There's probably some things that I don't necessarily need to know about you. Like your dirty laundry. So... No, it's not about` I'm not gonna ask about that, because that's literally in the past. It sounds rude, but I don't really want to know. It's a new canvas, so we can paint it however we want. So, I'm gonna hit you with a big one. You ready for this one? I'm ready. You ready for the bombshell? Like, on a on a scale from one to 10, how confident are you about our relationship so far? To be brutally honest... (TENSE MUSIC) (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) (TENSE MUSIC) Like, on a scale from one to 10, how confident are you about our relationship so far? To be brutally honest... 9.4. (BLEEP!) That's pretty confident. What makes you think it's a 9.4? I don't know, like, the communication between both of us I feel, like, is on point. I feel like we're on the same level of why we're here. Mm-hm. Um... But communication doesn't make a relationship happen. No, but we do get along quite well. Yep. Sorry, I'm just gonna nail you with the questions. You hit me with a question. So, I think, there was that time when we had (CHUCLKES) our watermelon juice. When was your past relationship? SAM: TAYLER: SAM: I'm the type, if I ask you a question, I'm just gonna dig and get it out of you. I just wasn't attracted to him physically. I felt like I was, kinda, thrown under the bus a wee bit with that whole situation. I felt like you just wanted to ask the question in front of the camera to get the truth and emotional, I guess. If you thought I was throwing you under the bus, then why didn't you say so? I think I was waiting for the right time, so` That was like, nearly a week ago. Yeah, so, I feel like now's the right time that I said that because you want me to speak up more, and this is me speaking up more. How I saw it was possibly you didn't know how to handle it and` I definitely didn't know how to handle it. Well, I know, that's why you broke down. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. But... I mean, you're still smiling, so that's OK. I'm always smiling. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) Ooh, here we go. So, what are we feeling like? Let's look at the menu. Special martini for you? Yeah, OK. I think I will go with wine, actually. The surrender date is a really important opportunity to try and shift the power balance in the relationship. Quite often at this stage of the experiment, one person is actually more into the marriage or more into the relationship than the other, so this is an opportunity for the person who's feeling on the back foot to step forward and say, 'I'm gonna own this day as much as you are, 'and I'm going to actually make sure that you see the best side of me 'and you appreciate who you've got in front of you.' Cheers. I'm gonna knock it over. I hope you had a great day. Yes. And you look amazing. Aw, no, thank you. No, you do. I was watching you all the way down, and your hair looks amazing, it just goes all... Gods, no, it's such high-maintenance. Rough, like you're just coming out of the wind and, it's like... (LAUGHS) Yeah. The surrender date's something I really needed to do. WAITER: Moving on to this course. Wow. This looks amazing. It's been perfect. I've seen that smile again. Oh, this is so thoughtful of you. For the first time, actually, she's starting to be really chatty and comfortable. So the commitment ceremony was... quite tense. Interesting. I think we did great. The thing for me is` I felt like I was being really honest and it was, well, of course I'd be honest. I wasn't uncomfortable leaving that session at all. You already knew` Yeah, I'm glad that we... we're just so good at communicating. Thank you so much for being, you know, so amazing with that. You've come to Christchurch a lot, eh? Yeah, a lot. That's good. Mm-hm. You must love it. I do love it. Yeah. Yeah, it'd be so much fun. It's amazing. I meet so many people, but what I... what I've sorta missed up until now is I see so much of this country, and I've seen so much of the world and it's, um, you know, it gets a bit strange sometimes not having anyone there to experience it with. I've always been conscious of the fact that whoever I'm with, we'd be doing something together anyway. It's still baby steps and one step at a time. It is nice being` she can talk about what's coming up and it just feels good. Yeah. Power couple. Totally. I feel a bit warmer towards him, in a way. I don't know, it's, yeah, I feel it's progressing. So, there we go. It's probably... yeah, one of the better places I've taken someone. (LAUGHS) Let's say we finish this experiment, we say yes, we're happy together, you live in Christchurch, I live in Auckland. Has that crossed your mind yet or no? I don't want to have to potentially pull someone away from a good thing that they've got going on in their hometown just for someone like me, that can get work basically anywhere around the world. OK, that's actually a really nice thing to say. So, it means your open-minded and you're` Yeah, definitely. Cool. Well, I guess, like, I've only been to Christchurch once. Don't take me to the botanical gardens because that would (BLEEPING) annoy me. Am I really gonna like Christchurch? I don't know. So, we'll see. Nice to see a bit of a romantic side of you and nice to see that you can actually do things in that way. It's good to see two sides of you, which is more attractive and don't let me walk all over you. OK. Deal? Yeah. Everything's going good so far, so let's hope the next two weeks` We're still gonna have that argument. (CHUCKLES) I know. We haven't found it yet. We haven't found it yet, but I'm sure it's gonna come. Oh, it might be next week when you're changing the bloody music 500 times. Or it could be me visiting Christchurch and I might hate it. Mm. And I'm stuck there. So we'll see. I came into the relationship to find a husband and to work together and bounce off each other. Till him taking me on this date, that hasn't happened. Well, cheers to us, I guess. Cheers. I've nearly finished my wine. I think I need more. There we go. You got your third kiss, there we go. You're lucky. It has been two weeks since the couples met for the very first time at the altar. And it's now time for them to embark on the next phase of the experiment ` home visits. Cromwell tomorrow morning. Crom-town. Hometown. The home visit is a really important phase. The participants have been in a bubble, have been on a honeymoon, they've been in the apartments, have to go back to their partner's natural habitat. I haven't been to Christchurch in years. You probably will be the best looking person in Taranaki. I'm the best looking person, full stop. (LAUGHS) When you get married, you don't just marry one person and that person that's in front of you, you marry into their family and they marry into your family. So it's really important that there's an element of being received, but also being welcomed. Is there any like, initiation process with your family or anything? (LAUGHS) No. I don't have to do weird, like, South African dance? No. No, that's like the year after. Oh. That's the one-year mark, not the two-week mark. I'm kind of excited. Gareth lives at home, so it's gonna be real home-home visit. But I think Gareth and his family are very close and very family-orientated, so I don't know how they're gonna take the fact that I don't want kids. Sweet. And what else? And take you to the Mexican restaurant that I usually go to. Mmm. Looking forward to it. Yeah. It doesn't bother me to talk about it, but it'll be hard for them if they're expecting a wife that wants kids, and I'm like, 'Nah.' Dan and Yuki are packing for a visit to Yuki's hometown in Christchurch. For Dan, it's a return, of sorts, to the city he lived in after the 2011 earthquakes. You get to see my dog. Oh, exactly, yeah. Get to see the dog. We've talked about it for the last couple weeks, you finally get to actually see him. It's her. Is it? (LAUGHS) If my dog doesn't like my husband, that is a little problem. If your dog doesn't like me, I'm screwed. Might as well head down the road. I would pick my dog over my husband. Because it's your family. That's your baby! Hopefully, yeah, hopefully she likes me. I really hope so too. (CHUCKLES) I really do. I haven't been down to Christchurch since the earthquakes, so that's all gonna be interesting process. Yeah, I am nervous because it was almost a near-death situation. It got quite tough for me for the first few months afterwards. Kind of overcoming a fear because I've avoided it for a long period of time, but it's good to go back. And she's willing to be there at my side to help me. Yeah. All my friends are gonna be there, so... It's fine. You can dress to impress. Exactly. If you win their hearts over, you might have mine. (LAUGHS) (WHISTLES) Pretty important. Is it? Mm-hm. If the person who you've brought home doesn't get on with your family or friends, it's gonna be a bit of a deal-breaker for many people. Family and friends have a huge influence, they will let a person know if they're not happy with that spouse or partner. They'll be watching to see how that partner is treated by the person he or she's married, and they'll also be watching very carefully to see how the person they love behaves around that partner. If you don't get along with my friends, (CHUCKLES) I don't know what we're gonna do, so you gotta impress them. What if I don't want to impress them? (TENSE NOTE) Do you want to? No, I don't want to impress anyone. Well, that's a deal-breaker. (LAUGHS) Well, then, it is. To have her turn around and say that she doesn't need to impress or try to get to know my friends, when my friends and my family are pretty much my life, so, I don't know. It just threw me. I don't want to impress anyone. I'm not going to. Well, you don't have to. Exactly. I don't give a flying.... Sorta just (BLEEP)ed with my head, really. So I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say or act because it seems like it's all good when the cameras aren't here, but when she gets a camera on her, it's a different person. And people like that, I don't want them to meet my family and friends. Like, this is a massive (BLEEPING) thing. And I... (STAMMERS) I don't know. I don't know if she realises, like, how other people's feelings are involved and stuff, so... (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) (PEACEFUL MUSIC) Christchurch is my home. I built a relationship with this city and myself, even though I'm an immigrant, because I spent most of my life here, so this is my home. All good. Last time I was here was about six years ago. I left because obviously all the stress that was causing me during the earthquakes triggered a few epileptic shocks and a little bit PTSD, as well, after that. I had to quit my job and my Dad had to pick me up from Christchurch to drive me up to Wellington because I couldn't even drive the car. When I landed back into Christchurch it kinda brought back those memories, just a little bit, but with Yuki being there it actually means a lot ` her being by my side. I know where I am. You know? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I remember seeing that New World. There you go, all the memories keep flooding back to me now. I feel, like, honoured that he actually told me everything before he come here, really. I'll be there for him and I'm sure he'll be fine, but I'm so... have full respect for him that he actually doing it. Your dog's going to go absolutely apeshit. (LAUGHS) I think that she's gonna pee herself, truthfully. And she's gonna be like, 'Oh my God!' (LAUGHS) If my dog doesn't like him, nah, I'm sorry. It's not gonna work out. I'm sure she'll be fine, but, you're always like... (BARKING IN DISTANCE) Yes, yes, yes, yes. I can hear her. I can hear her. (LAUGHS) Hi! (DOG BARKS) Hi! How are you? (DOG BARKS, GROWLS) (LAUGHS) Doesn't like me. She doesn't like me, already! (GROWLS) (LAUGHS) Hey, mate. Here you go. (LAUGHS) He's nice! Say, 'Hello!' (GROWLS) Does not like me. Baby, it's all right. My dog doesn't like my new husband ` my husband Dan ` so that is a problem. It is a big problem. Because she's my, like, little fur baby, you know? It's first day, first time, that she has ever had to meet my husband, so, it's always takes time. (BARKS) It's fine, it's fine, it's OK, it's OK. Uh, the dog is interesting. It's not my type of dog. (LAUGHS) (SMOOCHES) It's OK now? My dog belongs on the ground, not getting picked up all the time and covered in fluff and yapping all over the place. She can get away with murder, though, can't she? No. Pretty close to it. (LAUGHS) (CHUCKLES) Not at all. Off you go. (LAUGHS) Are we gonna relax now? No, she peed. (LAUGHS) Love you, Lara. I think the dog may be a little bit spoiled. Lara. I don't want to carry her. I'm certainly gonna treat the dog a lot more like a dog, not like a child here. Can you just water this plant? (LAUGHS) This my big baby monster. I'm not a plant person. This one too, please. Thank you. (LAUGHS) All right. I've probably never really kept a plant in my entire life, and she gives me about 20 plants and she goes, 'Water those, deal with those.' Uh, yeah. (LAUGHS) It's a different side of Yuki. (LAUGHS) (COWS MOO) (PLEASANT MUSIC) I am in Taranaki, at Wayne's place. Yeah, in the middle of nowhere. It's freezing. Yeah, that's me mountain. That's my mountain, I prepared it earlier. The mountain's beautiful, and the scenery is very nice, and it's a bit chilly, but, me being from Russia, so probably shouldn't complain. Your room. Thank you. And then my room's across the hall. I don't need to know that. Another fake plant. I like outdoors and I'm happy being here. I'm not sure if I'm happy being with Wayne here, but, yeah, I'm liking it ` what I see. I'm gonna have my friends come around tonight for a barbecue, so you'll get to meet all them again, a bit more in-depth from when we're at the wedding. I wanted to use the home stay and this opportunity to make it better, really. See if there's been an effort put in, and see if we can turn it around and potentially see a relationship there. But the only thing that I'm a bit worried about is that my friends are very much my family, so I hope that we all get along and they can get to know you a bit better. And then I know yesterday that you said that you didn't have to impress them, um` Well, what do you mean by impress? I hope you're not expecting me to, like, I don't know, sing a song or something. Like, I'm, I'm happy to show you off to my friends, so you're gonna look beautiful in a dress, I'm like, 'Oh, cool, she's gonna impress them.' I don't mean that you have to go and put on a show or be fake or anything. I'm not here to impress anyone, I'm just... I'm gonna be just myself. And I think I'm not a bad person, so I don't` I don't know what the reasons can be for them not like me. I don't care what people think of me. Somebody who doesn't know me and makes some sort of assumption, I don't really care because I don't know that person, so they can think whatever they like to think. Should we look it up? Yeah. 'Has to be special or unusually good, or particular emotional enough that you remember- 'remember it or it stands out.' That's pretty accurate, yeah. Yeah. So, I want my friends to` Yeah, so I have to be brains? Or do I need to talk about physics or something? Beauty? Do I need to`? I don't know. In my life, my friends have always been a massive part. So, of course, in a relationship their opinions are gonna matter. I just feel if I was to meet your family and friends I would, um... What would you do differently from being yourself? I would just` How would you impress them? I would just be polite and nice. Well, exactly. Am I impolite and not nice? No, I didn't say that. So, yeah. I like to be with a confident, strong person who, no matter what people say about me or talk, they not` he's not gonna listen to them. If your partner chose you to be with you, there is a reason why you're with that person and I don't think you need to impress anyone. But that's the thing ` we didn't choose each other. Maybe he should start impressing me, because I have to` it seems like I have to impress everyone, but no one needs to impress me in a way, so yeah. We're not in love and that my friends will talk to me tomorrow and they will turn around and give an opinion, that I will take on board. Mm. OK, whatever. (BIRDSONG) (PENSIVE MUSIC) Hey, everyone. Hello. Feels very weird having him in Christchurch, really. This is my husband. Gidday, how are you? I'm Dan. But it just nice that I can show him where I work and what I do ` like, everyday life, which is really cool. And I think he's struggling a little bit, but I think he just kind of slowly kind of making his way into it, which is really nice. The rest of my New Zealand family really likes him, so that's really cool. In the past, I've brought people into the salon before, but never be like this. (LAUGHS) Sweet as. Any other work you want me to do? I am emotionally attached to this city, because I pretty much grew up here. If he hasn't had the bad experience in Christchurch, I would probably... not ask him, but maybe have a suggestion to come over here, but at same time, it's, um... (SIGHS) it's because he has his life and I have my life, so to mould it through, you know, it's not really a simple thing to convince, I think. You just have to` Because you have to give up everything. I'm not sure I'm worth it, you know what I mean? Because you never know. You just don't know. I came to this experiment to get married. I was prepared to do everything, so, yeah. It's really, um... Sorry. I don't know. TEARFULLY: It's` I think it's been... sorry. It's, um, yeah. I don't know. Sorry. (SNIFFLES) I thought, um,... Um, I thought I was ready to make the commitment, but I'm not sure, because you just never know. Nothing is 100%. Nothing is perfect. So, um, just feels like now that maybe I'm still dreaming. Yeah, we'll just see. Because you just... Nobody wants to get hurt. So, that's my, um, most, um,... concerned that I might get hurt. You know? Don't want to get hurt. So, just, um... (SNIFFLES) we'll just see. Yeah. Sorry. (SNIFFLES) So, it's almost too good to be true, and then I'm now thinking,... (SNIFFLES) I'll read the news... (CHUCKLES) I'm just thinking maybe he's a paid actor, you know? Maybe that's why it's so too perfect. And I just` I don't know. I don't know what he wants to do after this experiment, but... (SNIFFLES) let's just hope it's gonna go good way, but you just never know. (SOBS, SNIFFLES) Ah. (SNIFFLES) You all right? Yeah, I'm fine. Yeah. Oh, hello. Hi. How are you? In his current home base of Taranaki, Wayne is hosting a barbecue at his house, giving the opportunity for Ksenia and his friends to catch up for the first time since their wedding day. Girl chat. So... how big is it? (LAUGHTER) The difference between the home visits and the wedding in terms of meeting family and friends, is that we're on home turf. No ducks yet. Uh, she did feed the birds on the balcony the other day, though. In the early stages of a relationship, you try and look for all of the information that either attests to how well the relationships going or sometimes reinforces the fact that this relationship isn't right. I went to high school in Russia, then I came here. Family and friends are a huge part of that. This may well be the make or break for some of the couples. So, Bali. (LAUGHTER) 'From the outside, it looks like it's going good.' She's putting in a bit of effort and communicating with them. We went out for lunch. that was very nice, yeah. Oh, nice. But I'm not in the conversation, so I don't know what their communications about. Did you have enough time to, like, build that spark between the two of you? Like, that instant connection sorta to spark what you needed and...? Um... Spark? What? I thought we had that connection at some point, but I think it's got lost. It didn't last for too long. Are there many, like, common interests or anything? No. Not at all. He likes playing golf, and I can't play golf. He likes racing; I can't drive. In saying that, every time you guys go away, who's driving? Wayne is. Yeah, exactly. So, actually, that's why I needed a husband, to be honest, so he can drive me around. She's a really nice girl. But I don't exactly know why they were matched. I think in your daily life you take time, right? You meet someone and maybe in a few days you go for coffee, then you have a break. It's kind of mentally prepared, and you sort of build that. But here, it's, sort of, you know, like, you're married and pretty much, you know, like, what else? Kids next time? So I think it's a bit too much pressure. So, what's your plan, like, going forward? Just take it day by day. Could you see a future with Wayne? Yeah. Like, I don't have any reasons why there would be no future. One main thing that we both have to be very much in love. 'There's a lot of work to be done.' I think they need to open up to each other and get to know each other that little bit better. Sort of give each other more of a chance than anything, because that's how something will build from this. They seem, to me, like very nice bunch of people, very genuine and very easy to get along with. I didn't have to impress them. I've done nothing but just be myself. I didn't sing any songs. I didn't do a headstand. I just been myself, and we just got along so well. What does she do? What is she into ` hobbies? Just going to the gym and shopping. Oh, yeah? Yeah, she's pretty solitary. Which there's nothing wrong with that. It's just not my cup of tea. So... Well, you know what I'm like. Yeah. More of a country-type person, eh? I've put my whole life on hold for this, um, chasing what I wanted and what I lacked in my life. And... (SIGHS) it seems like I need to go back to my life and reassess, and go back to my own being myself and... and finding love the old way, I guess. If I'm putting effort into find out about her and her family, and that I've never had a question about mine, it's sort of... showing the colours of genuine interest or not. Yeah. If there's progress then I'll stick around and put effort back in. But if I don't see effort put in, to me, like, it's... it's pretty pointless continuing. Like, I want to be in love, but I want to love someone, but I want someone to love me too. That sounds weird, but I don't feel as there's any interest in me personally, at the moment. We're pretty much the same as the wedding day. Like, we don't know massive amounts about each other. She probably deserves someone different than me, and I probably deserve someone who's more suited to me as well. Yeah. I'm definitely not here for hanging on and anything out of the show. I'm just here to` I was here to fall in love. It appears that it's not going to eventuate that way. I think we've just gonna sit down and have a really frank conversation about what she wants out of this, what I want out of this and see if we're both on the same level. If it's not love, then there's no point being here. Tomorrow night ` the remaining home visits... SAM: Can you lift up your top and show us your abs? Holy shit. ...see tougher questions,... It's not a compromise. It's a yes or no. ...tougher answers... Why didn't you tell me this before the cameras were on? He's got no respect for you. ...and what could be the beginning of the end. How do I get to know you if you don't open up? Ooh, this is gonna sound really bad. I don't know what more to do. (BELL TOLLS, HEARTBEAT THUMPS) Captions by Julie Taylor and Starsha Samarasinghe. www.able.co.nz Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. Copyright Able 2018