I can't. How do you...? Where's the entrance? Is it not...? (camera bleeps/clicks) Into the camera. Hello. My name. Right. (clears her throat) My name is Marni Olivia Olsen, and I'm a senior here at Ridgefield High. What's life like for a high school student in 2002? Well, for starters, my initials spell... Moo! 'Life is hard.' (they all sing) We are the champions, my friends... 'With a little luck, you'll rise above it.' And we'll keep on fighting till the end... (full rock accompaniment to Queen's We Are The Champions) # No time for losers cos we are the champions... # # .. of the world. # (distant laughter/chatter) 'Unfortunately, I never had much luck. 'Not even a little.' Dating all the way back to my freshman year... Sorry. Saved. Sorry. Saved. 'I come from a small town in Northern California, 'and in a school as small as mine...' Oh, sorry. Saved. '.. there's always one person that is so famous 'that they outshine all the others.' (gasps) (dining hall gasps/laughs) 'In my class...' .. I was that person. Were you on the squad last year? Shh! Alright, ladies, let's do this! Here we go! (all) Five, six, seven and eight. And one, cross two, three, four, five, turn, six, seven and eight. Kick! (they all cheer/clap) Let's do it right this time. Good luck, girls! Big smiles! Here we go! Five, six, seven and eight. 'I read somewhere that who you are in high school 'determines who you'll be for the rest of your life.' Kick! I seriously hope that's not the case. 'Then again, the odds aren't exactly in my favour.' 'That's my big brother, Will.' 'He's the greatest. At, like, everything.' (cheerleaders) Let's go, Gators, let's go! (cheering/whistling) Out of my way! Go, go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators! (buzzer) (cheerleaders) No! (booing) Nice work, Gator! p.s. you were prettier with the mask on. Are you speaking to me yet? I'm not in the mood right now, Marni. I just want you to know that I'm really sorry. And those girls are right. I am a loser. You know? Whoa, whoa. Which girls? What? No. No. Who called you a loser? Cos I'll talk to them right now. Who called you a loser? Doesn't matter. You can't always protect me from it. It's true. I wish you could see how incredible you are, Marni. You just have to believe in yourself cos once you do that, you're gonna be able to do anything you want. And, of course, Will was right. Once I changed the way I saw myself, the past was history. I ditched the braces, I got contacts and I started spending more than eight dollars on a haircut. I've come a long way since those horrible days. But if it weren't for the determination of that little girl from Ridgefield, the woman standing in front of you wouldn't be here today, working at one of the top PR firms in Los Angeles, telling a bunch of junior publicists about the days when I was the poster child for the geek squad. You can't control the things that happen to you, but you can control the way you react to them. It's all perception. That is what public relations is all about. (applause) Thank you. And good luck. Nice job. Thank you. Great speech. Inspiring. Thank you, sir, very much. Now, I'm gonna need you to pack up your office. What? Did you just say that I need to pack up my office? That's right. But I only asked for two days off, and it's for my brother's wedding. There's an opening in the New York office. VP. It's yours. It... You... I... The VP for... Unless, of course, you have a problem with a huge promotion. No, I don't! I certainly do not. I don't. Thank you, sir! You've earned it. I am excited to see everyone, too, Mom. I can't believe how quickly this all came together. I know, and it's gonna be so beautiful. Joanna's Aunt Mona is spending a fortune for this wedding. I tried to get in touch with her to say I thought it was too much, "and I got a text saying, "Happy to do it, can't wait to meet you all." "I just feel bad that I haven't met Joanna yet." I know. Isn't it funny? You guys went to high school together, you don't know each other. Wait, we went to high school together? I thought you knew. No. Well, all Will did was send me a picture, but she didn't look familiar. Ridgefield High was really small. I don't remember a Joanna. "That's because she didn't go by Joanna in high school." "She went by a nickname." Oh, er... Dee-dee. Deedee? "No, erm..." Titi? Titi? No, I can't believe I'm blanking on this. JJ? "That's it! JJ!" "Joanna, JJ, yeah!" (We Are The Champions - Queen plays loudly all of a sudden) No! No! No! Agh! No. Nope. Ma'am? "Fasten your seat belt" sign's on. I need you to return to your seat. Are you telling me Will is... Shh! Please! I've listened to you say how your cats are just like people for the last 45 minutes. Ma'am, you must remain seated. It's for your own safety. Mom, hold on one second. I'm sorry... Heather. Erm, this is an emergency. My brother is about to marry the girl who single-handedly ruined my life in high school. So, if you don't mind, would you please back off? Sorry, Mom. I'm sorry, do we have a problem? I don't know, do we have a problem? Is your brother marrying your arch nemesis? So you didn't know it was the same girl? Nobody knew. My brother was a senior when I was a sophomore. I can't blame him for not keeping up with my high school soap opera. Pretzel? There are seven billion people on this planet, and I get stuck with Satan's spawn as my sister-in-law. It's the reason I left home in the first place. Marni, let me tell you about bullies. They're just like terrorists, only they're emotional terrorists. You can never let them get the upper hand, so the best thing that you can do is remain calm and show her that you are in control. Besides, I don't care if the Ridgefield mascot got over 1,000 on YouTube. A million. A million hits? Yeah. Wow, you gotta get me that link. Will do. The bottom line is, things have changed since then. You need to go back, and you show JJ what you're made of. Maybe you're right. Maybe I'm just overreacting. Hey. You got this. I have got this. You got it. (indistinct tannoy announcements) Oh! There she is! Oh, my little girl is home! Hi. Oh, sweetheart, four months is too long! Hey. Hi. Why are you so tall? Look at you! You look so great! And we miss you so much. I miss you guys, too. Oh, yeah? Well, not as much as you're about to miss shotgun. In your dreams. Ben! What, Mom? Joanna always lets me sit shotgun. You guys do a lot of stuff with Joanna? We do everything with Joanna. We don't do everything. Take your sister's bag, be a gentleman. (squeals) You're home! Mark! Honey, she's home! (phone rings) Oh, Ben, get the phone, please? Yeah, sure. (whistles) Coco Puff! Come here, buddy! Coco! Sweetheart, Joanna took Coco to the groomer's. Everybody needs to look their best for this wedding, including Coco Puff. Hey, Mark, she's home! Hey, babe. We're a full house this weekend. You and Joanna have to bunk in. Hope you don't mind. Oh, come on, Mom! Oh, Marni Olivia Olsen. OK. It will just be like the slumber party I was never invited to. I'm gonna get dinner. Honey! She's home! Busted! (gasps) Oh, you scared me! There he is! Come here! Ridgefield's legal golden boy! Look at you. You look gorgeous. Thank you. Can you believe it? It wasn't that long ago, you remember? We were kids up in that tree-house, swearing we'd never get married. I guess some things change. I'm counting on it. Is that my little mover and shaker? Oh, baby. Hi, Daddy! Hi. Oh, my gosh, you look great! You're so thin! I have lost a couple of pounds. Thank you for noticing. You look fantastic. Thanks. Joanna's back. Your mom wants everyone downstairs. Chop chop! One of those. Off to the side. And, while rolling, it is so crucial to have one inch wide and nine inches in length. And you finish it just like that. Oh, you are a culinary wonder. Hey, hey. Look who I found. Marni, Marni, Marni. Look at you! You are so beautiful! Thank you? Do you know that I have waited so long for this moment? It's finally here. You think you waited long? Cos I... There's just so much to say. Believe me, I know. But I don't wanna do it in front of them. But first, let me just say how nice it is to finally... It's OK. .. meet you! Excuse me? Will has told me so much about you, but now here you are! I cannot wait to spend the next four days learning all about my brand new sister! Hugsies! Oh, never mind. Yeah. The salad looks good. (barking) There he is! Coco Puff! Come here, buddy! (growls) Oh, Coco Puff! Come to Mommy! Yeah! That's my boy. Coco Puff, dinner time. Joanna, I'm not sure I'm comfortable starting dinner without your aunt. I think it's very rude. Don't worry about Aunt Mona. She's running late. You ready, honey? Ready! Batter up. I'm sorry, are we executing Dad tonight? You know how your father's always been interested in the whole mind-body connection? And since we can't have Will's best man looking fat on Saturday... That's right. You do not look fat! I'm trying the Yamaguchi diet. Most people don't realise when they're full. They need an empty plate to tell them. Scientific fact, when you wear a blindfold, you rely on your stomach. I've already lost six pounds. And where did you go to medical school? Ben! Well, I think it's a very smart way to stay fit. Thank you, Joanna. Let's eat! Wow. So, er, how did you two meet? We were at this little karaoke bar at the beach, and Will was on stage doing his best Hall & Oates. Not my finest moment. Really? No, it wasn't. Ben. He was so cute, I just had to save him. So I got on stage and we sang it together. And she's been saving me ever since. That's right. I just think it's unbelievable that in a small town like Ridgefield, Will and Joanna could grow up practically down the block from each other, and not run into each other until now. It's funny, isn't it? It's hilarious! Isn't it? I mean, that our paths haven't crossed till now? Isn't that funny? Yeah. It's so funny! Weird. So, Marni, Will tells me that you work for this big, fancy PR firm in LA? Guilty. Actually, since you mentioned it, I have news. I got a promotion. What? And I am now VP of our New York office. And... A promotion in New York? Yes. Oh, honey, congratulations! That's fantastic! We're so proud of you! That is awesome. You get to meet real celebrities? Like, that is really cool! You know, enough about me. I'm dying to know what you're doing, you know? I mean, what have you been up to? My life is dull by comparison. Oh, I doubt it. I'm sure you keep it as interesting as you did in high school, right? I mean, I'd love to hear how your wonderful life has turned out. Well, erm... Yeah. Yeah. After my parents died, I took a hard look at my life, and realised I wasn't making the right choices. So I enrolled in nursing school, and I decided to focus my energy into helping those less fortunate. Wow. Good... good for you. No, good doesn't even begin to describe it. Yeah, I kind of became obsessed with helping people in need. Well, since, Will and I love children... .. entry level RN. They promoted me to head clinical nurse. I tried to put in a good word. She wouldn't let me. Oh, Dad. Oh, Dad. Between the hospital... .. it helps build the self-esteem of... Let's be honest, you can only run a suicide hotline so long before it starts to take its toll. Do you still have that number? Ben! Oh, my gosh, I have been talking about myself way too much. No, no, baby, it's fine. Trust me. I, for one, had no idea you were such a giver. I know, right? I'm so proud of her. I'm so proud to call you my bride. Oh! Bride! He said it again! Gail! He's getting married! I know! I really need a refill. He has been saying bride. (they talk over one another) Anybody want anything? (loud chatter continues) Great. (animated chatter continues) Jeez, Mom, you scared me! So that Joanna's pretty great, right? Yeah, almost too good to be true. I think so, too. I think it's her sweetness. You know, her genuine warmth. Where is the recycling? Oh! Come with me, please. There's the recycling, and... Wow, this looks beautiful. Maybe Joanna could sleep out here. Marni. Listen. How come you didn't mention New York? I'm really proud of you. That's fantastic. Thank you. I don't know. I think I've just been preoccupied with the whole Joanna thing and don't you think it's odd that she doesn't remember me? Ridgefield High was not that big. I don't remember half the people I went to high school with. Yeah, but you're Gail Byer. Everyone loved you. You can't relate to what I went through. Really? You wanna bet? Listen, nobody gets through high school unscathed, Marni. Nobody. You didn't tell me you had problems in high school. Because what's past is past. Look, if you had a problem with Joanna in the past, you can fix it now. Remember, everyone deserves a second chance. deserves a second chance. I know. (doorbell) Joanna's Aunt Mona is here! I can't believe my little Joanna's getting married. I know. It's crazy! I'm so happy for you. Come meet the family. Aunt Mona... .. this is Will's sister, Marni. What a pleasure. Nice to meet you. And this is Will's mom. Gail? Ramona. Whoa! You guys know each other? (loud music) Gail! Ramona! (amplified splash) How long has it been? Well, don't tell, or I'll have to strangle you. Who can remember? How do you two know each other? We went to school together. We were best friends. Whoa! Very, very close. Wow. You look great. Stop. No, no, really. You look amazing. You haven't aged at all. She looks computer-generated. Ben. Thank you. You must be Ben. You know, I have something that I think you will like. Fallout Four? This doesn't even come out until the summer! What do you say, young man? Thank you! Oh! Je vous en prie, monsieur. I cannot wait to go play this! I gotta go! Have fun. Oh, and Marni. You know, I think I have the right size. Is this Brian Reyes? Brian who? And this is from his new collection? Cos I thought that it was pre-sold out. Brian is a doll. He always stays at my hotels. He always stays at the Sullenger. You own the Sullenger Hotel? The Sullenger Group. Actually, we now own 14 properties. I can't believe it myself. I can't believe that my mom didn't tell me that she was friends with one of Forbes' 100 most powerful women. Please, that silly list changes all the time. But you've been on it for ten years. 11. But, you know, what's most important to me is when someone stays at my hotel, they feel right at home. "Like home but better," I always say. Which reminds me you two have worked so hard on this wedding. It would mean so much to me if you'd spend a week at one of my resorts. Bali, Maui, Paris. Are you... No. No. Yes. I insist. You did not have to do all this. You've done so much for the wedding. Do you think I'm trying to buy people's affection? Did it work? (laughter) This is so exciting. I mean, doesn't it feel like we're already family? Let's not just stand here. Come on in, family! Put your feet up. Have a drink, Ramona. I think we've got some French champagne. There are cowbells on every door, and we have no beds. I have 400 beds stranded somewhere in the Indian Ocean. (laughter) It's still beautiful. It's Switzerland. I love Switzerland. You've never been to Switzerland. Yeah, but I love chocolate. I love cheese. I love clocks! Well, then we all have to spend some time at my new place. How about Christmas in Gstaad? Yes! We can take the jet. Count me in. No way! You own your own plane? Oh, darling, sometimes I think it owns me. I am on it non-stop just flitting from one continent to the next. Not to mention all the back-and-forth with my divorce. Michael and I have been in litigation 14 months. We were only married for seven, so... Ramona, I'm sorry. That must be so difficult. Yeah, it is, but, you know, it's nothing that a delicious piece of whatever this is can't fix. Oh, Mark has been doing this kind of programme... "As the eyes are the window to the stomach (together) "so shall we pull the curtain." How did you know that? I had no idea the Yamaguchi diet had come to the States! I simply swear by it! Me, too! (mobile rings) Oh! Scusi. Hello. Hello, darling. Georgia King, the wedding planner. George... Georgia King is the wedding planner? She is like Southern royalty. Every single one of our clients wants her to do their wedding. Thank you, darling. Ciao, bella. Look at these two. You guys are so adorable. Gail, doesn't that just take you right back to when you were young? You know, your mother may not have told you this, but back in high school, she was quite the superstar. Oh, no, she told us. I mean, we know. I was hardly a superstar. Oh, you were a supernova. Every girl wanted to be just like your mother. She was prom queen. She was homecoming queen. Cheerleading captain. Well, not all at the same time. Wait. You were cheerleading captain at Ridgefield? Mm-hmm. My senior year, I was varsity. Me, too! Joanna! I was cheerleading captain at Ridgefield! How come I didn't know that? Joanna, have you ever heard of the (clears his throat) Byer Flyer? Yeah, I mean, it's the signature move of the varsity squad. Yeah? (whistles) (whistles) You were the "Byer" in the Byer Flyer? I mean, I originated the move. Oh, my gosh! Your mother is a legend! Oh, I'm not a legend. I'm not a legend. Gator Power. Let's do it! Oh, no. They still do it? Go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators! I haven't done it in 30 years! Dad, can I borrow your blindfold? Get in line. Go, go, Gators! Come on! Go, go, go, Gators! No, I haven't done it in such a long time! (together) Go, go, Gators! Go, go, go, Gators! Ready? OK! Ridgefield Gators are out tonight. We're gonna dribble and fight, fight, fight! Yeah! Snap those jaws, let's begin. Ridgefield Gators gonna win, win, win! Go Gators! (cheering/shouting) Unbelievable! I haven't done that in 30 years! Oh! Boy, the two of you together again. Must feel like you're right back at Ridgefield High. Oh, yes, it feels just like old times. Whoo! Gator Power! Mom! Yeah! Whoo! All I want is an apology. You can't prove it was me. I suppose I should commend Joanna for changing her life and just do what Mom says, and forget about it and move on. Yeah. You know, that's probably a good idea. I mean, you two are roommates now. Ben! Thank you. Let me help you. How gallant. You know, Joanna is my only family now, and it's been hard to imagine this wedding without her parents here. Of course. So it means the world to me to be able to share it with you and your beautiful family. It means a lot to us, too. Bon soir. Good night. Good night, Ramona. Well, that was normal. Right? Yeah. You seem surprised. You two were friends, weren't you? Yeah, we were best friends. Yeah, all the way through grade school, and then we were close in high school. Right up until our senior prom, and then she... she kind of had a little breakdown, and something happened and I... She said she never wanted to see me again. I don't know what happened, really. Honey, it was... That's a long time ago. And you always say everyone deserves a second chance. So stop worrying about it. You honestly don't remember me from high school? Er... No, I'm so sorry. High school was such a blur. Please don't take it personally. (knocks) Slumber party! Oh, look at you two. Now, I'm not interrupting any pillow fights, am I? Not yet. I just came to say goodnight to my lady. My favourite! Yeah. Does that smell good? Don't you just love this? I'll give you two a minute. Wow. Love what you've done with the place. Oh, my curtains! Did you know I made those from scratch? Er, yeah. I thought you said you were going to bed. My room is a little crowded right now. I thought I would just hang up here with you, if that's cool. Yeah. It's cool. Thanks. (snoring) I thought you said his sister was hot. (gasps/snorts) Oh, I accept. Mark, do you remember Denmark? Of course I do. Yeah. I was there. Do you remember the room service? No, I really don't. Hey! Good morning, sunshine. Hey. Oh, Coco Puff, there's my boy! (dog growls) Coco Puff, no! We do not growl at guests. I am so sorry. He'll warm up to you. He probably just doesn't recognise you. Yeah. I get that a lot. Check it out, Marni. The Hawaii trip. Remember when you got nailed in the face by that baby octopus. You were like (screams) It wouldn't come off! She was so sad. She was so brave, though. She was so brave. Let's turn the page. Erm, hello, we need to go, right now because we have a lot to do before our dance lesson. Dance lesson? If the bride and groom want dancing, we're gonna give them dancing. Hey! That means you need to pick up Grandma. Oh, honey, she can't wait to see you. Come on, Coco. Let's go. She really can't. That was all she would talk about the other day at the mall. You go shopping with our grandma? Oh, yeah. Bunny and I, we're like sorority sisters. Alright, ladies, come on. We're wasting time. Let's go. Let's do it. I'm so excited about our dance. Come on, Marni. Chop-chop. Marni, seriously, don't worry about it. You'll have plenty of time to wash up before my bridal shower later. So, Will, how'd you pop the question? I proposed in the tree-house, actually. Our tree-house? Uh-huh. It's my wedding gift to Joanna. I'm having it moved from Mom and Dad's to our new place, once it's finally built. You're moving the... You can't move the tree-house. You and I built that with Dad with our bare hands. That's Olsen family history. OK, how about when you come in town, you can come visit it at our place. OK? How's that? Honey, our song! It's fate. Oh! (they sing Kiss On My List - Hall & Oates) # Because your kiss, your kiss is on my list. # # Because your kiss, your kiss is on my list. # # Because your kiss is on my list. # Stop! (tyres screech) Sorry. I thought that plastic bag was a kitten. What? Check it out. Ridgefield High. So many fond memories. But, you know, if I knew then what I know now, I would've done a lot of things differently. How about you, Joanna? Any regrets? Well, actually, yeah. I mean, if I could start all over, I'd probably get a head-start on my community service and charitable outreach programmes. Huh. I would've had a boyfriend. You probably had lots of boyfriends, right, Joanna? No, I wouldn't say lots. I heard that one of the cheerleaders had a different boyfriend in each school in the district, and that when she'd bleed one dry, she'd just move on to the next one. Hey, Joanna, you were on the cheerleading squad. Do you remember who that was? What's your point, Marni? No point. Just wondered if she remembered who this low self-esteem gold-digger was. I heard she dated the Wilson High School principal for a while. She did not! I mean, that's just a rumour I heard that Judy Karbash made up because she was jealous of said cheerleader. Do you guys mind if I change the music? # We Are The Champions - Queen (sings) We are the champions my friends Love this song! Don't you guys just love this song? We'll keep on fighting till the end... (both sing) We are the champions. We are the champions. # No time for losers, cos we are the champions of the world. (doorbell) Joanna! (laughter) I said, "Cougar? I'm old enough to be your grandmother!" (laughter) We better get going if we wanna make it on time for our dance lesson. Bunny, can I help you get ready? That would be delightful. OK. You've done enough. I'll help her get ready. Don't be silly. I'm happy to help Grandma Bunny. Well, she's my Grandma Bunny, by blood. I've got this. They're fighting over me. So, Grandma, is there anything I can help you with? Here, dear. They were a little loose. We can't have them falling out on the dance floor. I don't think... I don't know how. They're just dentures! Get over it. Now, and be sure and press hard, dear. We need a tight seal. I might be kissing later. Oh! OK. There we go. OK. Oh, seriously? Oh, dear! I can fix that. Now, hold still. Grandma, no! (cutting scissors) I really gotta give you credit. You've got this whole good girl act down to a T, don't you? Excuse me? You even had me believing that you didn't remember who I was. But we are the champions! You really showed your true colours, didn't you, JJ? Joanna. Tim! Oh Tim! Wow! You look well! Thank you. Thank you for saying that. You... Wow. I wasn't expecting to see you. What... how... Well, you look... You changed your hair. No, I didn't, but Tim, this is Will, Marni and Grandma Bunny. We go way back. Way back. Seattle Space Needle. It was really great seeing you. Oh, my gosh. It's awesome. Unfortunately, we've gotta go. We don't need to rush. They won't start without you. Let's talk to Tim and hear about way back. What is your phone number? Someone keeps blocking your number on my phone. It's 555-0172. That's my cell. I'm also on Facebook. And the Twitter. What about you, Joanna? Do you Twitter? Can we Twitter together? You wanna, maybe` I have a pool. You wanna catch a movie sometime? Oh, er... Tim, Will and I are getting married. I hadn't heard about this. Yep, this Saturday. This Saturday? Hm-hm. That is great! That is so soon for a marriage. That is so soon. Lovebirds. That is great. Gotta give you one of these, then. Married... And you're sure it's this Saturday? Hey, man. Keep it real. And you got a terrific girl here. Move. Bye, Tim. Call me! That was awkward. We dated in college. Long story. Right. We're not gonna go into that. Let's go dance! You guys dated? Oh! Here they are. Hi! It's happening! Marni! Did you get a haircut? You did. Let me see! It's, erm... it's cute. It's cute, bangs. You haven't had bangs since high school. I know. It's cute. How was Grandma's? It was fun when Grandma wasn't fawning all over her new BFF, Joanna. Honey. Your grandma loves you. Don't turn everything into a competition. Hola, everyone! I am so sorry I'm late. Oh, look at this! J'adore. Oh, Gail, when was the last time we danced together? Could it have been prom? (laughs) Erm... Is that what you're wearing? Yes. Why? You know what I love about your look is it's so sporty. Thank you. So American. (music starts) (voice over) Ladies and gentlemen, your wedding extraordinator, Miss Georgia King! (screams) Hi! Whack! Oh! (sings operatically) (applause) Oh Bonjour. Guten tag. Hola. Aloha. Konichiwa. Hi, y'all. I'm Georgia King. And I am your wedding extraordinator. (applause) And this lovely man to my right is the owner of this Off Broadway dance studio, and my personal helper, Timothy. Oh, look, it's Tim! I want you to think of me as the engine room to your Love Boat. And our first port of call is the crucial wedding dance. Now, since Will and Joanna first said I love you at the Mardi Gras, I have choreographed a Brazilian carnival lambada dance number. Now, this dance number is the forbidden dance that bestows good luck and fertility on the happy couple. And now, I'm gonna teach it to all y'all. Do you get what I'm sayin'? Alright! Let's get this party started! (music plays throughout) Oh, Marni! I'm so sorry. We were expecting more people. It's fine. Don't worry about it. Olsen! Charlie! You made it! Hey, I'm sorry I'm late. The flight was delayed. Don't even worry about it. Marni, you remember Charlie, right? Er... sorta. Come here, you! Come here, man. Hey! Hey. Oh. Good to see you. You, too. Hi! Marni! Ah! Wow. You look grown up! That's what I did. Couldn't stop it. At last! For every lovely lady, there is a gentleman. Marcie, I want you to dance with Charlie. And, you two, I want you to work on that bride and groom dance. Right over there. I'm gonna come help you. Just right that way, that's it. Remember, you're a swan. Long neck. You might wanna bend your knees a little bit there. It's the Lambada, not the foxtrot. Oh, OK. He's acting like it's a foxtrot. So, what am I doing? Er, I'll just teach you what we learned. It's your left hand, foot, goes forward, together, back and together. Forward and together, back and together. Don't be intimidated. I've had two hours more practice. Oh, OK. Thank you. Mind if I drive for a while? # Toxic - Britney Spears # ...I'm calling. # A guy like you should wear a warning. # It's dangerous. I'm falling. What is she trying to prove? Well, if I had her body... You'd what? I'd shut my mouth before the next stupid thing comes out. Don't try this at home. It's strictly for professionals. # Too high; can't come down. Roar! # Losing my head, spinning round and round. Right and left, and right and left. # Do you feel me now? # With the taste of your lips I'm on a ride. # You're toxic, I'm slipping under. Wee! Wait! Wee! Bang, bang! # Don't you know that you're toxic? # With a taste of your lips I'm on a ride. # You're toxic; I'm slipping under. Oh, forget this. Mark, "Byer Flyer," on my count. Spot me. What? Tim! You ready? No! # I think I'm ready now. (SOTTO VOCE) I think I'm ready now. # Intoxicate me now. (groaning) # I think I'm ready now. # Intoxicate me now. # Two scoops of crazy with a side of coo-coo-cachoo. I guess this means you didn't get your apology, huh? I don't think there's gonna be an apology. But she remembers me. Oh, yeah, and this is all just part of her little act. Everybody loves a good story, and that's exactly what she's giving 'em. She has got Will totally brainwashed. Come on, Marni. Don't you think you're overreacting? He's giving her the tree house. What? Ben! I need to leave a little early for baseball practice. I'm gonna run by Ramona's hotel! We'll leave in about five minutes, OK? We gotta save him, Benny. Will has protected us his entire life. Now, it's our turn to protect him. What are we supposed to do, Marni? He's getting married in, like, 48 hours. Ben, Ben. In PR, 48 hours is a lifetime. All we have to do is isolate the problem, calculate a plan and institute a solution. We gotta get him alone. Hey, Will. What are you doing right now? Can I talk to you? Actually, can it wait? Because Joanna's gonna be back soon, and I wanna sneak in a quick run. No way! I was just thinking that I need to sneak in a run. I'll come with you. Yeah, OK, great, Marn, but I'm warning you, I'm training for a marathon. Five miles OK? Er, this is so weird. It's like we're twins! I'm actually training for a triathlon, which is a bit harder, but five miles is perfect. Charlie! Are you ready? Charlie? (groans) You alright? Oh, yeah. No, I'm just stretching my hamstrings, you know. Safety first. (knocking) There's someone at the door. Hold on. Hi. Hi. Ramona, I'm sorry to just sort of barge in. I just, I was kind of hoping... Do you have a minute? Oh, yes, absolutely. Come in. Wonderful. Thanks. I'm on the phone. Oh, you know what? I need to use the restroom. It was a long drive. It's, erm, up the stairs and to the left. Wow. OK. Hi. Sorry, Will's mother. (gasps) No! No! No. (gushing water) No! (pants) (ripping) Oh! Well, your lawyer has the paperwork so, erm, that's that. Au revoir, mon amour. (sniffs) Ramona? Is everything OK? (laughs) Oh, yes. You know, Ridgefield gives me such terrible allergies. Did you take a shower? Yes. Yes, I did. I did. I did. I hope you don't mind. I... really I just came by because... .. I believe in closure. And I just wanted to come by here and tell you that whatever happened between us is in the past, and as far as I'm concerned... .. it's over. Well, I appreciate that. Good for you, Gail. Brava. So we're good, right? We're... Parfait. Is that good? Yes. Good. (phone rings) Oh! erm... I should take that, so thanks for stopping by and (laughs) a bientot. See you later. Alligator. Yes. Sven? Guten tag. How are you? (panting/gasping) (coughs) How you holding up, champ? Oh, great! I love it. I love running! Hey, Will. Earlier, at the house, I wanted to talk to you about Joanna. I'm glad you're bringing this up. You are? Sure. How can we not talk about this, right? Because she's not just marrying you, Will, she's marrying all of us. We all have to put up with her. But I couldn't do it unless I knew I had your support on this thing. In that case, Will, William (pants) Cramp! I know what you're about to say, and it means the world to me that you'd actually open up your heart and bring her into our family like that. Seriously. What's going on? I thought we were training for a marathon. Charlie! Hey, you cool with this pace? Yeah! You sure? Oh, yeah. It's good. In that case, what do you say we sprint to the end! Let's do it. Yeah? Let's go! Yeah? Yeah! Whoo! Come on! Whoo! Whoo! (screams in pain) Maybe I'll give you guys a head start. Oh! (splashing) (screaming) Come on, honey, come on. Here, sit here. Watch my carpet. Ow! Make the burning stop! I'll get Marni one of my back pills. One of those babies, she'll be able to taste sunlight. Ew, gross! Go get me my rag bag. Marni, what happened to you? I took a shortcut. Through a woodchipper? No, through an ant bed. I knew we shouldn't have left her. Oh, Charlie. You're here. I'm here, actually. Blurred vision. That can't be good. No. Ants carried away her contacts. What kind of ants were they? I forgot to ask them, but I will next time. And, this is not a big deal, you guys. I'm fine. She's not. The bad news is she hurt her leg. The good news is she can't feel it cos of the bites. Mom, stop being so dramatic. (clattering/spilling) That did not sound good. Er, you know what? That was my fault. I shouldn't have been standing here. I'm sorry. I... No, no, no. (bashing/groaning) OK, I'm actually gonna get you to a safety zone. That looks like it hurts. You will not believe what happened. I think my... So itchy everywhere! What is going on? Marni fell into an ant bed. Oh, no. With this many bites, she could go into anaphylactic shock. What should we do? We need lard. Stat! I need lard, stat! Who are you talking to? (laughter/barking) There you go. Get her, Coco! Get her, Coco! (car horn) Honey, stop with the picking. You look fine. How lucky for me, that you kept my glasses from tenth grade. Well, I can't get your contacts until tomorrow morning. I thought you'd like to see. (groans) Look at them, Mom! They look like pimples! And my bangs? It's literally like nothing has changed since high school. Marni, I know. But they're just ant bites, and they will go away. And, before you know it, everything's gonna be fine, and you're gonna live happily ever after. "Happily ever after" is in fairy tales, Mom. High school was a horror movie. This weekend is the sequel. It's times like this that I like to then go back... Mom, do you always have to offer up some sweet little perfect nugget of self-help advice? Because I'm just really not in the mood. Well, some day you're gonna appreciate my wisdom. (rock music) Marni, being a mom is hard. There is no rule book. Every day, you wake up and hope... You have to trust your instincts and hope you're not messing up your kids. It's a lot of pressure. And I feel a profound sense of responsibility that everything I do greatly affects you and your brothers' lives. And that's why I want you to know that what I'm about to do is deeply, deeply wrong! (tyres screech) Mom, what are you doing? Oh, you know I hate being late! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Whoo-hoo! (police sirens) (Georgia) Bonjour, guten tag, hola, aloha, konichiwa! Hi, y'all. Welcome to Joanna's bridal shower. (applause) Now, listen, ladies. Will and Joanna first met on the beach. So it seems only fitting that we begin their wedding story in a sea of love. Vive la romance. Enjoy it, enjoy it. A little over the top. I'm gonna just check on your grandma, OK? OK. You OK? Yep. Hi, Mom. Oh! Marni, there you are! I was getting worried. Girls, girls, this is Will's sister, Marni. She actually graduated from Ridgefield High with us. Oh, right. I remember you. We were in homeroom together. History, fifth period, Mrs Barker. But who's keeping track? So when are you guys due? (together) August 23rd. Wow. Is that such a weird coincidence? Oh, no, no. We planned it in college. (laughs) Oh, you're serious. And Joanna won't be far behind. Oh. You know you will! Stop tickling my stomach! So, how about you, Marni? Any little ones? Er, not that I know of. (snorts) And now I'd like to give a special thanks to my bridesmaids. Thank you for standing by my side this weekend. Here's just a small token of my appreciation. That is so sweet. I hope you like it. I told your mother Olivia was a terrible middle name. Grandma, does it ever get any easier? What, dear? This! Life! Everything. Marni, don't let the way those girls treated you bring you down. We are our experiences. That terrible time made you the woman you are today. You're right. You're absolutely right, Grandma. I'll be right back. Amuse-bouche? Not since college. Hey, sis. Isn't this a blast? Look, sis, I've had enough of this game. You can make this real easy on yourself. All you have to do is apologise. If you apologise, I'll keep my mouth shut about everything. Fine. Sorry. That's it? That... That's your big apology? Alright. Well, you've made your trundle. Maybe Will should lie in it and hear a few of the details. I'd think very carefully before I did anything crazy, sis. Who do you honestly think your brother will believe? No. Mm-mm. You're not doing this to me again. I am not the same four-eyed, acne-covered girl you pushed around in high school. Really? Have you taken a look in the mirror lately? I gotta admit, the first few rounds went to Joanna. She played some very good hands. Very good. But I'm glad. It made me realise we have to step it up, take it to a whole new level. Whoa. "We?" No, she's your arch nemesis. I'm not gonna be a part of your evil plan. I'll give you 20 bucks. Done. Will may not believe his own sister, but I think he'll have a hard time not believing his own eyes. Start digging. Hey, where is Mom? It's getting kind of late. Hey, where is Mom? It's getting kind of late. She said she got tied up in town. I'm sure she's on her way. The way she drives, she'll be here in a second. She drives like a maniac. We're co-hosting this party. She's got to be here any minute. Whoa,... honey, you look amazing! Stay right there. Wow! Mom, you look great. (giggles) Thanks. Thank you. Hey! Thank you. Zut! Quelle horreur! Sadly, my dress was ruined, and I had to find a replacement on very short notice. Quick, somebody call Us Weekly. Let's find out "Who Wore It Best?" Oh, c'est la vie. Joanna! You look divine! Hi, guys. I'm sorry. What is he doing here? Who? Sausages. Oh! Look, I hope you guys don't mind that I invited Tim. Yeah, well, I sorta do. It's just, it's so awkward to come to these things alone, and you said that you and Tim were never serious, so I figured that it wouldn't be a big deal. I thought... You know what? You're right. I should have asked. I'm sorry. I'll go ask Tim to leave. And that'll be fine. You know what? I don't really care. It's I'm used to... .. being the solo girl, so it's... You don't have to ask him to leave. I mean, Tim can stay. It's not that big of a deal. Really? You know, I will be right back. Thank you. No biggie. Hi. Hey. Let's move that. I think that's mine. Danger. It goes to the right. Danger, sharp. Danger Yes. What are you doing? Yes. I'm just I'm creating a safe zone for you. Oh, for me? I won't! I'm not gonna.. I'm totally safe, I promise. Safe? My lip, head and big toe would beg to differ with that statement. There is nothing safe about you, Olsen. I got you three times? Three times. I'm so embarrassed. One time was my big toe, which is my favourite feature on my body. You have so much flesh on it. It still hurts, to be honest. It is the big one. Uh-oh. I believe this seat is reserved for Tim. Are you a Tim? No. Yeah, it's a wedding. You have to sit in the seats reserved for you. It's not like a normal restaurant or anything. That's my seat. Yeah. Sorry. Yeah. I have a drink, so you should... I'm gonna head over to this table. OK, I'll... I'm Charlie, by the way. I don't know where the Charlies are. It's not my responsibility. I'll be with the Charlies, if you need me. I'll come to... over... after. Wow. Er, thanks, Tim. What is it? It's an umbrella drink. I see that. Joanna and I went to Cancun once. What are you doing over here all by yourself? Oh, nothing. Just missing Mom and Dad. I still can't believe they aren't here for this. I always thought Daddy would walk me down the aisle. I know, sweetheart. I miss them, too. Anything else bothering you? (sighs) Aunt Mona Yeah? Have you ever done something you wish you could take back? My last two marriages. And I'm starting to rethink these heels. Why? I made a mistake. Big, big mistake, and I don't know what to do about it. You're human, Joanna. Making mistakes is part of what we do. It's how we go about fixing them that matters. I know that whatever you do, it will be the right thing. OK? I'm so proud of you. And I know your parents are, too. Yeah, I'm not so sure about that. (Georgia) Bonsoir, guten abend, buenas noches, shalom, konbanwa. Good evening. I'm Georgia King! (cheering/applause) Will, I have a big surprise for the groom. Tomorrow, you and Joanna will give yourselves to one another through wedding vows. But tonight, Joanna is going to pledge herself to you. In song. (applause) (exhales loudly) Hi. This is for you, Will. I love you so much, baby. (sings badly) I have found my one love, he's loyal, kind and true. You've got to be kidding me. (all sing out of tune) I have found my happiness it's all because of you. Finally, something she can't do. Forget this! # Jump - Ali Dee Wow! What's this? # Jump, jump. The Daddy Mac will make ya jump, jump. # The Mac Dad will make ya jump, jump. # Don't try to compare us to another bad little fad. # I'm the Mac and I'm bad, give ya something that you never had. # I'll make ya jump, jump, wiggle and shake ya rump. # Cos I be kicking the flavour that make you wanna jump. # And everything is to the back, with a little slack. # Cos inside out is wiggida wiggida wack. # Jump, jump. The Mac Dad will make ya jump, jump. # The Daddy Mack will make ya jump, jump. # The Mac Dad will make ya jump, jump. (sings) My girls are wicked, we're slammin' and we're jammin' So kick it, kick it, his bride is feelin' butterflies inside Can't be denied I'll make 'em bow, make 'em wow It's my wedding day, kiss my man Throw some rice, and a big buffet From now on we're gonna live so happily My way'll make you J U M P... # Jump, jump. The Mac Dad will make ya jump, jump. Check it out Homies want a man but there's no man like mine... I cannot believe my brother is falling for this. He's a miggidamiggidamiggida miggida macdaddy Oh, honey, this is not my first barbecue, rodeo or canoe trip. I know true love when I see it, and this, my dear sweet bridesmaid, is true love. Now, come on! This is a party! Have fun! Jump, uh-huh, uh-huh, jump, jump.# (cheering/applause) Brava! I love you! I love you so much! Joanna. (clinks his glass) OK, OK, OK. I knew we were getting a new daughter, I had no idea we were getting a rap star! (laughter) Bravo! Will, I love you. Your mother and I could not be more proud of you. Not only are you one heck of a lawyer, you are compassionate, you are caring, and, most importantly, you're honest. To see that you have found someone with all those same qualities makes me the happiest man in this room. Joanna, while technically I'm the best man, you should know that tomorrow the real best man will be standing right next to you. Oh! (guests coo) To Will and Joanna. (guests) To Will and Joanna. Will? Yeah? I have something I need to tell you. Sure. I haven't been totally honest... Anyone else who'd like to make a toast? Tim does! Oh, no. (clinks his glass) OK. Joanna, congratulations on a very special evening. I just wanted to say tonight is an amazing occasion, and it's special for many reasons. One of them being that Joanna and I finally get to share a rehearsal dinner together. Of course, I would rather it had been our rehearsal dinner, but beggars can't be choosers. But in all seriousness, Joanna, after many, many, many, many hours of therapy, I know now why you didn't show up that night. The two of you were engaged? I even know that it's my fault. It was right after college. I was young and immature. That's OK. I miss you, Joanna. I miss your voice, I miss the... Oh, God, she used to make this sound when we would... .. when we would snuggle. (chuckles) Remind me to change my phone number. I got cold feet. He wigged out! How could you not tell me this? I'm sorry. I'd like to dedicate a song to you. This was our song. (sings) Overnight scenes dinner and wine Saturday girls, I was never in love never had the time In my hustle and hurry world, Laughing myself to sleep, Waking up lonely, I needed someone to hold me, Joanna, Girl, you're every woman in the world to me, You're my fantasy, you're my reality, Girl, you're every woman in the world to me, You're everything I see, You're everything to me, oh yeah. (sighs deeply) (pounds his fist) Thanks, Tim... .. for that. And now we have a special video for Joanna from the bridal party. A video? Did you know about this? Engaged, Joanna? To that guy? "OK, I'm ready." "Hi, I'm JJ Clark and I'm a senior at Ridgefield High." "We're supposed to tell all you losers what life is like in 2002 "so you can see how much things have changed." How did they find this? "Wanna know what life's like for an 18-year-old in high school?" "Life is easy." This was for the time capsule. They said no one would see it for 50 years. "I mean, sure you gotta work at it to be number one." "But high school's not brain surgery. It's more like prison." "And, in this prison, I'm the warden." "So it's my job to keep all the inmates in line." "Oh, look, here's one now." "In high school, only the strong survive." "The meek shall not inherit the earth." "Moo!" (girls laugh cruelly) "High school's a four-year sentence." "They don't let you out early for good behaviour." "So, take it from me, it's better to be bad." "Out of my way!" (sobs) Will. I'm so sorry. I was a stupid kid, and you know that's not who I am anymore. No. See, I don't think I know who anyone is anymore, Joanna. So I'm just gonna get some air here. Wait! Wait. Where are you going? Will? (exhales deeply) Still no answer? What a mess. Maybe we should head home, see if Will's there. OK. Come on, Bunny. Ben, let's get the car. Let's go. Oh, wait. Miss, don't forget your video. Your video? I'm sorry. I just wanted Will to know the truth. I was trying to protect him. Mom, I know you said to put it behind me, but I guess I just couldn't. I'll get the car. I'll go see if I can find Will. Oh, Marni, what have you done? We'll talk about this at home. OK. Just go away! OK? Look, I didn't intend for that to be.. You have got a lot of nerve. You know that? I'm sorry, I've got a lot of nerve? Because you're the one who came in here pretending like nothing had ever happened. Pretending we didn't even know each other. And Tim? How did you know about that? I didn't know Tim was a freak. None of us did. Please. That's why you invited him. But that video? Now, that was genius. You know... .. I really underestimated you. I thought we could start over, but no. You were so completely stuck in the past that you just couldn't let it go, could you? Hey, I wanted a real apology, and I deserved one. It was high school. You don't get to belittle this. Do you have any idea what all those years of torment did to me? Every day after school, I came home feeling horrible about myself thanks to you. You can't just ruin someone's life and pretend like it didn't happen. You just ruined my life! Do you get that? The fact that you're standing here right now, asking me to feel sorry for you, is priceless. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you walking away from me? Uh-huh. Nice work. Like mother, like daughter? Excuse me? Your daughter just ruined what should have been the happiest night of Joanna's life. Just broke her heart, just like that. Sound familiar? Did you see the video? I did. Nice timing, too, at the rehearsal dinner. Did you? I'm not doing this in here. Fine with me. Let's go. Marni! Marni! (smashing) (screams) Are you insane? What do you think? I think my brother was smart to get out when he did. (smashing) Oh, kitty likes to scratch. Well, two can play at this game. Warm-up. Just gettin' loose. Yeah? (smashing) (laughs) Ooh! Presents! Oh, don't you just love this? Aw... Marni, let's just not do that. No, no, no! Marni, please don't! That was a wedding gift. It cost a fortune! Don't... Don't do it. Just... Marni? One less thank-you note to send. (smashing) You are so gonna regret that. I always wished I was strong enough to stand up to you. But you know what I finally realised today? I don't need to stand up to you. It's not worth it. You're a liar, and you're a phoney. My family's better off without you. Will is better off without you. I'm done with you. My feet hurt. (screams) Yeah! Stop it! What are you doing, Joanna? I came back in here to see if you were OK. I was concerned. I was worried about you, but from the looks of it, I would say you are more than capable of taking care of yourself. I just can't believe that I fell for that. That whole Meals on Wheels, Mother Teresa act. You are so good, and I'm so stupid because I fully believed you! I thought I knew exactly who you were. You do know who I am, Will! You do! Yes, Joanna, I do know who you are. You're a bully. You're a liar. You are... An emotional terrorist! Stay out of this, Marni! You are just as much to blame? No, Will... No! Stop talking to me! Going behind my back, helping to orchestrate this thing, how could you do that to me? How could you do that to me? What is wrong with both of you? I'm sorry, Will. I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I wanted to tell you the truth about who I was back then. I swear. You don't get it, do you? No, you don't get it. You still don't get it. Cos I don't care who you were in high school. I don't care that you were engaged. I don't care about anything! I care that you lied to me about it! You lied to me! You lied to me. And who was I supposed to be marrying tomorrow? Who is that? Is that the girl that I sang karaoke with on the beach? Cos I liked that girl. I liked her so much. Or the warden of Ridgefield High School? Wait! Will, please don't! Please! Wait! You have been playing me since the moment you walked in my house. Playing you? Why? What happened between us? Tell me. You honestly don't remember? I remember everything! You don't remember that we were best friends, and then all through high school, every single time, I was runner-up to you? Runner-up to me? Ramona, it wasn't a competition. Of course it wasn't. You always won. I won because they voted for me! Do you remember cheerleading? You made me try out. You got on the squad. I got laughed out the door. Oh, come on. You were great! Oh, please. And let's not forget about Grease. You knew how badly I wanted to be Sandy. But no, of course, you just had to audition. I always wanted to be in a musical, Ramona. Always. Oh, please. You don't even sing. You were already prom queen. You were already head cheerleader. Drama was supposed to be mine. But, no, you didn't think about me. All you cared about, when you got to high school, was you. Oh, what was I supposed to do, Ramona? Slow down so you could catch up? That's mean. Don't push me. Don't you... (they both scream) (splashing) Are you insane? After all that, you stole Richie Phillips from me! Richie Phillips? From high school? I was in love with him! You were in love with him? And you went to the prom with him. He asked me, Ramona! You were my friend. You were supposed to say no! That's when I knew I could never count on you. I promised myself I would never let anyone make me feel the way you did. You know what? I should thank you. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have worked so hard, and I wouldn't have achieved what I have. Well, good for you. Oh, come off it. It just makes you crazy that I've... that I've done all this and that I look so good. You know what, Ramona? Honestly, I'm proud of you. I am proud of what you've accomplished in your life. I think you've done amazingly. But my family is my accomplishment. So I'm not jealous of you. I have a family. They love me. I'm happy! Well, happiness isn't everything. OK, I'm outta here. I was jealous. You had it all. You were pretty, you were smart, everyone wanted to be your friend. Just seeing you the other night with all your family reminded me of... My marriages haven't worked out, and Joanna's all I have. Now, you want to take her away too. And I knew that would happen as soon as I found out that she was marrying your son. I'm sorry, Ramona. Honestly. And I should have been a better friend, obviously. I knew what I was doing. I was so busy being Gail Byer and everything that that meant. I just... I was insensitive. I wasn't a good friend. And I'm sorry. (chuckles) I can't believe I got a make-over because of you. You did? Of course I did! I almost got hair extensions. (they laugh) Your hair flips around, and I was jealous. Oh, I'm so glad. (they laugh) I feel like I can breathe again. Really? I can't breathe! I'm under water! What is going on out here? I'm very disappointed with the behaviour I saw tonight. I'm very disappointed with the behaviour I saw tonight. I don't pretend to have the slightest clue about how things work in the girl world. To be perfectly honest, it frightens and confuses me. But here's what I do know. A wedding is a time for a family to come together. But, for whatever reason, this wedding is tearing our family apart. Will is missing. Ramona's out searching the streets for Joanna. This weekend is a disaster. And I, for one, have had it. You two are completely out of control. (they speak over one another) But nothing! You're grounded. Go to your rooms. (dog whines) What is it, Coco Puff? What is it? (sobbing) Oh, no. No. Joanna, don't do it. Don't... Joanna. Put down the spray cheese. It's not worth it. There are so many carbs. Oh, what difference does it make? (sobbing) It's not like I'm getting married anymore. I am an awful person. Hey, remember me? I'm the one who ruined your rehearsal dinner. Think I'm the awful person. Oh, Marni, stop. Just... .. just stop apologising. I deserved it. I deserve all of it! Hey! OK, wait. Joanna. Hand that over. Give her here. Why don't we share? Hey, that's nice! Let's see. Looks, ooh, it looks good. That's right, we can share that. Looks good. (whines/moans) I just spent so many years, so many years trying to distance myself from the person I was. I just wanted to be a person my parents were proud of, you know? Hey. I'm sure your parents would be very proud of you. They would've been proud of me if I would've apologised to you the moment you walked through that door. I just didn't want Will or your parents to know how awful I was back then. I love them all so much. (whimpers) And it's been such a long time since I've had a real family. I just didn't wanna lose them. I panicked. You panicked? I freaked out. I went all Marni dearest on you guys. (they laugh) You're never gonna lose them. They adore you. You fit into my family better than I do. Oh that's not true. But I think the reason why they love me is because they really miss you. Look, Marni, I don't expect you to ever forgive me, but I do want you to know that I am truly sorry. (sighs) Would you mind saying that just one more time, just, like, slower or something? I'm sorry, Marni, for being so evil. For... for pushing you onto that basketball court. For... oh, gosh, for everything. I really... I really apologise. Thank you, Joanna. Oh, gosh. I just don't know what I'm gonna do. I really don't. Will won't talk to me. I have made such a mess of things. I've really... I can't live without him, Marni. I think... everything is gonna turn out just fine. Trust me. You got this. Will? Go away. No, Will! Go away! Wait! Would you just wait for a second? Will! Oh, ow! My leg! Are you OK? Which leg is it? It's the same leg from the other day! It's my bad leg! Marni, guess what? You hurt your left leg the other day, but really, good try, Marni. Hear me out. I don't wanna hear you out! I don't wanna hear anything you have to say. You ruined what should have been the best day of my life. Do you understand that? Yes, I do. And I'm really sorry. I'm really, really sorry, Will. Please try to accept my apology because the last thing that I intended was for you to get hurt. You've just always protected me, and I was trying to protect you from the girl that I thought Joanna was. But she's not that girl anymore. She's really not. She's a girl who loves you very, very much. And you love her, too, dummy. And that's all that matters. I'm really sorry. I guess we'll just have to wait it out cos I told Will the truth. I don't know what else... No! Will and Joanna! They're up in the tree house! Why are you flipping out? It's a good thing. They're probably hugging it out. No, I didn't want him to give the tree house to her so I was gonna take it apart and hide it! Where were gonna hide the tree house? Look, the point is, I loosened the bolts, but didn't get a chance to finish. That's not good. Hey, guys. Can you come down here for a second? We have to talk to you. It's important. Sure. How's it going, guys? Hi, guys. We're good! You know what, this is important, too, so we'll be down in a minute. Just give us one second. Yeah, we'll be down. You'll be down sooner than you think. (screaming) (clattering/crashing) Well, darlings, at least you're together. I'm so sorry, you guys. What are you sorry for, Marni? Mom said it was probably termites, and they've been meaning to get the tree checked out anyways. Termites are the silent killers. Tammy! Hey, girl. Hi, honey. So, what's the update? Well, good news. Your broken bones are gonna heal. That's good. The bad news, we're gonna have to postpone the wedding. I'm sorry, nobody is leaving this hospital today. Except for all of you. Everybody out. These two need some rest. Dad, that's ridiculous Doctor's orders. We're not tired. Everybody out. Joanna? Joanna? Joanna? Wakey wakey. Eggs and bakey. My dress. What's... what's going on? Trust me. Seriously, what is going on? Don't peek. I'm not, I'm not, I'm not. I'm serious, OK, but what's going on? If I find out you peeked... Just, just. OK, alright. I can open? Can I open? Yes. Open. I know it's not the fairy tale wedding you planned in your head, but, hopefully... It's perfect. How do I look? You look beautiful. Oh, wow. Magnifique. Well, you look magnifique, too. Which is good, because there's somebody here who'd like to see you. Richie Phillips? Wow. Ramona, you haven't changed a bit since high school. Well, hopefully I've changed a little. Welcome home. Are you ready? Marni, will you walk me down the aisle? I would be honoured to. I can't guarantee I won't trip. (audience) Aw... # We Are Family - Chic # We are family. # I got all my sisters with me. Maybe one of these days we'll be dancing at your wedding. Oh, I don't know Grandma. I think I need to get a boyfriend first. It seems to me you already have one. Charlie? No, Charlie's not my boyfriend. Charlie thinks I'm a disaster. Are you kidding? That boy can't take his eyes off of you. If you don't go for him, I will. Alright. Easy, tiger. Oh, Joanna? On! Mrs Sullivan, I'd like to introduce you to Will's grandma. Helen? Bunny? You again? Wait, you two know each other? # Who's Sorry Now - Connie Francis Helen! You look nice. Who dressed you, the Great Depression? You look lovely, Helen. I'm so sorry I couldn't attend your funeral last year. Care to dance, miss? Yes, I'd love to. This ain't over, Bunny. Don't get up in my grill, sister. # Britney Spears ` Toxic Ladies and gentlemen, I am Marni Olsen, sister of the groom. And now, sister of the bride. And I struggled for a long time with what to get the bride and groom. And then it hit me. Ladies and gentlemen, Daryl Hall and John Oates. (cheering/applause) # Kiss On My List - Hall & Oates # My friends wonder why I call you all the time # What can I say # I don't feel the need to give such secrets away # You think maybe I need help no, I know I'm right # I'm just better off not listening to friends' advice # When they insist on knowing my bliss # I tell them this # When they want to know what the reason is I only smile when I lie # And I tell them why (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # Because your kiss is on my list # Of the best things in life # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss I can't resist # Because your kiss is what I miss # When I turn out the light # I go crazy wondering what there is to really see # Did the night just take up your time, does it means more to me # Sometimes I forget what I'm doing, I don't forget what I want # I won't # Regret what I've done, regret you? I couldn't go on # But if you insist on knowing my bliss # I'll tell you this # If you wanna know what the reason is # I only smile when I lie then I'll tell you why # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # Because your kiss is on my list # Of the best things in life # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss I can't resist # Because your kiss is what I miss # When I turn out the light # Oh! # Your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # Because your kiss is on my list # Of the best things in life my life, oh, baby # Because your kiss is on my list #(Because your kiss) your kiss I can't resist # Because your kiss is what I miss # When I turn out the light the light, oh, baby # Because your kiss in on my list tonight # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list tonight # Because your kiss is on my list # When I turn out the light # (Because your kiss) your kiss is on my list # (Because your kiss) your kiss I can't resist # Because your kiss is on my list # Of the best things in life. # (cheering/applause) Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2018