* Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2018. (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (MAGICAL MUSIC BUILDS) (MUSIC FADES) Ab ovo... in toto... nil desperandum... sine die. (THUNDER RUMBLES) (All gasp and exclaim) MAN: Vampires! (All scream) (Man roars) Hee-ahhh! MAN: Be careful! Vampires! (Hisses) Give me that stone! Keep hold of it! Don't let it go! WOMAN: No. (Screams) (SOFT, GENTLE MUSIC) (Gasps) (THUNDER CRACKS) (Cries out) Hon? What? (Sighs) You have another nightmare? The vampires were back. This is ridiculous. I've gotta get some sleep. Mom, do you like this place? It's a big change for you, I know. New house...new country. (DISTANT HOWLING) Hear that? It's the wind. Or it's the undead. (SHRILL SQUEALING) (Gasps) Mom? Dad? Tony, if I don't get some sleep, then I'll be one of the undead. TONY'S MOM: Come on, honey, we're going to be late. You got everything? Jump in. Put your seatbelt on. VENGABOYS SONG 'SHALALA LALA' PLAYS Hey...wave hi to Dad and Lord McAshton. Scotland is beautiful, isn't it? If you don't have vampires. And you know we really don't, right? But a dream isn't real. I know what a dream is, Mom. OK. I'm just asking. But you know there is no such thing as vampires, right? Mom! You're on the wrong side of the road! Whoa! (Shouts abusively in Scottish dialect) What did he say? Everybody talks weird here. Don't worry, honey, things will get better. You're going to meet new friends, sweetie. (Other kids chant) Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! This is for being a little creep. Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) And this is for coming here in the first place. On Saturday night, we'll be able to see Comet 4C in conjunction with the moon for the first time in 300 years. And then... And then the beam of light comes from the moon. (Girl giggles) As usual our American friend is full of stories. What makes you say that? I dreamt it. Stupid Yank. Fine. Now you've had your joke. No. I've dreamt it every night since I've been here. And then there's a gathering. A gathering of what? A gathering of vampires. (Others laugh) Not again, Tony. I really saw it. The comet, the beam of light, the vampires and a vampire hunter. (Others laugh) Right. That's it. You've earned yourself a chair in the hall. Fly away back to California, creep. Look what I got you. A golf club! Yeah. A junior set of golf clubs. You know the game was invented in Scotland. But there's no-one to play with. That's the beauty of golf. You don't need anyone to play with. But I want someone to play with. Then I'll teach you. You never have time. Look, Tony, I'm trying here. There you are. The babysitter's downstairs. Oh, good. When are you going to be back? Not too late, hon. It's business. Lord McAshton invited us. All the investors are going to be there. Hey, look at those. Those are great. I didn't know you could draw so good. Right. Great. Want to do something really cool? Draw me a picture of Tiger Woods. Goodnight, hon. I want you in bed by 9:00 and don't give yourself any nightmares. I love you. Be a good boy. (SOFT, SINISTER MUSIC) (SNORING) (ALARM BELL RINGS) (ENGINE SPLUTTERS, BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH SYMPHONY PLAYS) (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (RADAR BEEPS SOFTLY) (MILITARY STYLE MUSIC) (Man plays bagpipes) Lord McAshton. Bob. Good evening. Dottie. Of course it is. What do you think of our blimp? I like it. Me too. How nice to see you. He likes my blimp. OK, pet, it's time to... Ooh! (Hisses) Oh! Tony! What a fright you gave me. I didn't see you sitting there, pet. Oh, you stopped my heart, you did. It's near enough stopping as it is. That's the truth of it. You wouldn't want to do that to Miss Lorna, would you? You can have a read of your book once you're settled. Meanwhile, brush your teeth and away to bed. Bed? For the undead? (Hisses) (RADAR SIREN WAILS) (Laughs evilly) Yeah. (Bat squeals) Got you now, you filthy thing. Let the chase begin. (RAPID BEEPING) (Bat screeches) Huh? Ab ovo. In toto. (Tony growls) (LOUD, SWIRLING SOUND) What clan are you from, brother? Have the lights gone? Who are you? (Hisses) You are not a brother. Well, I'm not a sister. You're human. You're full of blood. (Gasps) I'm gonna keep it that way, dude. Huh?! I'm too weak. (Whispers) I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid. Do you need help? What twisted kind of mortal are you? I know you - I saw you in my dream. Must have been a nightmare. It was. I must leave. But you can't even walk. Who needs to walk... ..when I can fly? Ahh... AHHH! (TV PLAYS SOFTLY) Are you OK? Don't look it. Och aye. Do you... Do you know...where I can get a cow? If you want a glass of milk... No, not milk. A cow. Hurry. (Moos) Your eyes are getting heavy. You're falling into a deep sleep. (Cow bellows in pain) (Slurps loudly) Yuck! Eugh! I think I'm gonna hurl. Aww...it's just a little one. Well, let's see how you like this. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) So, that's not enough for you, eh? (Starts engine) (ENGINE REVS AND SPLUTTERS) Let's see you escape from me now! (Screams) Shut your eyes, Tony! Think you're very clever. But I'll catch you! You can open your eyes now. Wow! Enjoying the view? Yeah. And thanks, dude. You saved my life. That truck was going to splatter me. You keep calling me 'dude'. My name's Rudolph. Dude is slang. Like I'd call a friend. A friend? Well, we saved each other's lives, didn't we? Yes, we did. Friends. My name is Tony. C'mon, let's play. Yes, we'll play. My best friend's a vampire! Yeah! (Laughs) Yeah! * (Quartet plays lively chamber music) BOB: I haven't heard music like this since my brother's wake. (Hums along softly) You see, it has a proper rhythm. That's what I like. Ah! The grandsons. We came to say goodnight, Grandfather. Now, boys, this is Tommy's mother and father. That's Tony. Tony. Of course it is. The boys have become great friends with your son. He's our favourite plaything. Playmate. There you have it. Off to bed. Lovely to meet you. Tell Tony we'll see him tomorrow. Bright and early. BOB: Will do. They seem like terrific kids. They are. They are. Excuse me. I need another drink...of poison. Cheers. Cheers. (BAGPIPES PLAY) So...how is my son fitting in? OK? He didn't tell you? Oh, he tells me plenty. But...you know kids. (Loudly) I'm talking about Tony's obsession with vampires. (STUNNED SILENCE) Excuse me. TONY: I think I should go home. Rudolph, how do we get down from here? We'll fly. But I can't fly. I got you up here, didn't I? Well, I guess so. Then stay calm...friend. Alright, let's fly. As long as I'm holding onto you, you're fine. Trust me. Ready? Whoa! I'm flying! WOW! Wow, it's great to be a vampire. Membership does have its privileges. Look! My mom and dad went to a party there. (MOBILE PHONE RINGS) I'm terribly sorry. Excuse me. Oh, Mr Thompson, so sorry to bother you, but I didn't know what else to do. What? He's not here. And I've looked everywhere. I came up and he was... I tell you, about half an hour ago. I can't understand you. Say it again. In English. (Babbles hysterically) Slowly. Come back with Mrs Thompson, help me find him. Yeah! Vampires are different than I thought they'd be. Father's seen to that. We're a family, not fiends. That's why we only drink cows' blood. But I thought vampires drank human blood. We do. But we've got to make do with cows. Why? Because we've been hunted for centuries. We always have to hide. We want to become humans, not eat them for dinner. Can you see what colour that car is? Green. Man and woman inside. Man talking very loudly and waving his hands. Oh, no! My parents. I'm in lots of trouble. My dad's going to kill me. He wasn't like this at home. This is Scotland, not San Diego. What do you expect? He's an 8-year-old kid. LORNA: Oh, Mr Thompson, Mrs Thompson. I've been waiting for you to come back. I don't understand how it happened. I sent him to bed early, like you said. And then I went to check... Tony. Alright. ..just for half an hour. I saw what I saw and I saw what I didn't see. And I...I didn't see him. (Sniffs) What's that? (Sniffs) I smell it too. So...those are your parents. They look nice. And tasty? No. Nice, as in very nice. They have their moments. I suppose I must take my leave. I haven't had so much fun with a boy my own age since I really was nine. Thanks...dude. You can stay if you want. (DISTANT RADAR BEEPS) Maybe I should. Do vampires only sleep in coffins? 'Cause that's going to be a problem. Just as long as the sun can't find me. This would be excellent. I have to take out all this junk. 'Junk'? It's a treasure chest. I've hidden in trees and watched mortals play this game. What is it? Nintendo. Duh! Nintendo Duh. Can I play with this Nintendo Duh? It's a Nintendo. 'Duh's just a word people say when someone asks a dumb question. (Gently) Duh. More like...duh! (Lamely) Duh. Duh! Duh! I'll teach you Nintendo tomorrow. I know. You must sleep now. Sleep for mortals. Until the night. Goodnight. So you're like 1,000 years old or something, right? I've just been nine for over 300 years. I wanna be a vampire too. No. You don't know what that means. But I'm doing the most awesome stuff I've ever done in my life. No blue skies, Tony, no birds singing, no flowers in the sunlight. Just this constant night. Cool! Good morning. Now, why are you sleeping this way? Did you have another nightmare last night? Yeah. Oh... Poor baby. No. I dreamt I was...flying. You did? That's wonderful. That's a good kind of dream to have. Now, come on. Get up. Rise and shine. Time to go to school. (Rudolph hisses) The sun! Sorry, dude. Honey, you hungry? I could eat a cow! (BRIGHT ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) (Cows moo) (Cow hisses) Mitsy... (Moos loudly) (SPOOKY MUSIC) (Boys jeer and snigger) Out of my way, losers. Dirty little creep! (Kids chant) Fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight, fight! Fighting with the McAshton boys of all people! They started it. Keep still. It's still bleeding. Let me get another tissue. Your teacher told me you've been talking an awful lot about monsters. No wonder they keep teasing you. Not monsters, vampires. It's all the same. No, it's not. You know, it's gonna be rough making friends like that. I have a friend. You do? What's his name? Rudolph. Where does he live? Not far. What's he like? He's, ah...he's very, very cool. You should invite him to sleep over. I already did. (Sniffs) There it is again. What? That smell. (Sniffs) I don't smell anything. BOB: Nice, easy stroke. OK. Give it a shot. Alright. Pretty good. When does the sun go down? Ah...not for a while. But I need to be home before it sets. What's the big hurry? You bored already? No. I know what you've been thinking about me. Oh, Tony, I'm sorry I've been so rough on you lately. I've got the job on one hand... I know. Mom told me. Yeah. Dad, do you think I'm crazy? Oh, no, Tony. I just think that vampires belong in a movie somewhere. Not in your room. How'd you know he's in my room? Kidding. Not very funny, right? Kind of funny. Let's play golf! OK. That's the spirit. Let's set up again. Rudolph! (MYSTERIOUS TINKLING) (WIND WHISTLES SOFTLY) (FLURRY OF BEATING WINGS) (THUMP!) Psst! What? Rudolph! Can we go flying again? No. It's too dangerous. I only came because of this. (Sighs) My drawing? You can have it. Where have you seen it? Why do you wanna know? It's very important. I'll only tell you if you take me flying again. * Yippee! Whoa! We live down there. Cemetery. Cool! I could get used to that. So you didn't see the real thing then? I dreamt it all. The amulet, the comet. Does it mean something? I can't say. It's a secret. Who am I gonna tell? Who's gonna believe me? All right. It is the comet Attamon. It's the comet of the lost souls. It could mean the end of this curse. What curse? The curse of being a vampire. It's the piece of the comet that fell to earth. A great magician made it into an amulet of power. And he lost it 300 years ago to the sea. Yes, yes. I saw it. My uncle Von tried to catch it. And we've never seen him since. From that night to this, our wandering has never ended. I'll help you find it. That must be what my dream really means. Yes. You're to join our quest. We'll truly be brothers now. (DISTANT SCREECHING) (FOREBODING MUSIC) (Bats squeak) Hide. My parents are coming. But we're brothers. They don't know that. Go! (FLURRY OF WINGS) Mama, Papa! Rudolph! Thank the stars you're safe. My son, you must not stray so far again. We were afraid... I took the road less travelled. And you got lost. My poor Rudolph. Yoo-hoo! Anna! Brother, darling. You're the nervy one. Sneaking off like some daywalker. I wish. So, Father, did you find the stone? No. I'm sure we're on the right path. Because... We still have 48 hours. But you see... I will not fail you. Gregory! (Hisses) Argh! (Hisses) No! Gregory, he's my friend. A mortal?! Ah! I'm Rudolph's friend. He gave me a bite-proof guarantee. You could be anything to my son - victimiser, slave...dinner perhaps. But you can never be his friend. He likes vampires. And he dreams about us. Am I in your dreams, mortal? And he knows about the amulet. Ah. Then he's a spy. Rookery's knave. Darling, he doesn't look like a spy. And besides, even Rudolph couldn't make up such a story. Could you, sweetheart? Mortal or not, he's just a boy. But if you insist on eating him, go ahead. I never said I would. Oh, it's impossible! Leave, I say. But Rudolph... Should never have befriended you. Leave, I say! Ahh! Ah! (Screams) Ah! Ah! (WHIRRING SOUND) Rookery. Get back. Get back! (POW!) Go! Take the family. (POW!) Run! Do as I say! (POW!) Stay away from my family! (POW!) Do your worst! (AIR WHISTLES) (FEEBLE FARTING SOUND) The age of chivalry is not yet dead. Ah! (Hisses menacingly) (TRIUMPHANT BURST OF ORGAN MUSIC) You! (TRIUMPHANT BURST OF ORGAN MUSIC) (SHORT ZAPS OF ORGAN MUSIC) (ORGAN MUSIC FIZZLES OUT) What kind of bloodsucker are you? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (Gasps) Ah! Ah! (CRACK!) (Screams) RUDOLPH: Tony, are you alright? Look out! (BANG!) Come on! (WHISTLING SOUND) (BOOM!) (FLARE HISSES) Wow! MAN: Hey! (Rings bell) What's your problem? None of your business, pal. It is when it's in my cemetery. Visiting hours are from dawn till dusk. Now, get a move on! What you did was foolish! Foolish, but brave. (Horse neighs) (Hisses) We shared a vision. He has a sympathy for our kind. ANNA: Oh, lovely. Young Von found the stone, then he made his way to Scotland, plucked from the sea by a merchant ship, just as rumour had it. Then he could still be roaming free. There was a woman I'd never seen before. She wore a strange coat of arms. We must find which family she belongs to, trace her crest... I can help. No. It's risky to involve a mortal. What have we got to lose? We've searched for three centuries. This is what comes from contact with mortals. Disrespect, insolence! Frederick, he does have a point. Alright. Help if you can. But do not change your mind and betray us to our enemy. Or my wrath will be revealed. Am I clear? (Tony pants) I think my father likes you. That was liking me? He can seem like a monster because he's so stern with us. He is a monster. You don't know what it's like for us, being so tormented. Yeah, I do. It happens to me at school. Who dares torment my friend? (THUNDER RUMBLES) (WIND HOWLS) (BANG!) (HINGES CREAK LOUDLY) Flint. Flint. Wake up! Wake up! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) I am the Lord of the Underworld. I am your master. It's Tony Thompson. Get him! (Hisses) (Gasps) I don't think so. (Both scream) I am the fiendish friend of Tony Thompson. If you do not treat him with respect you'll feel my wrath! Tell anyone what you have just witnessed and you'll be bat bait. (Hisses) (Both scream) What on earth is going on in here? (WINDOWS BANG) BOTH: Nothing. (JAUNTY MUSIC) (Mouths words) Flora... (Moos) Mitsy. (Moos) (Both moo evilly) Sleep well last night, girls? Carry these. BOTH: Yes, master. (BELL RINGS) In three months time, the weather gods permitting, McAshton's will become Scotland's calling card to not only the golf world, but... Playing games while corruption festers beneath your feet? Typical. What do you mean bursting in here? Much as I hate being the bearer of bad tidings, you need to know. You have an infestation of vampires. (Men chatter and laugh quietly) (Laughs) Do you know who you're talking to? I might ask you the same. Obviously a madman. I'll show him the door myself. MAN: Absolutely. Ha. Obviously a madman. Now, what's all this talk about vampires? You don't seem terribly surprised, my lord. Well, one has heard rumours, legends. Nonsense, of course. Now, wouldn't you like it sorted out by a trained professional, in fact, by the only trained professional? Now, I will admit that my fee is substantial... Fee? I'm to pay you a fee for what?! Putting an end to your worries, and face facts, my lord, you do have worries. Has there been any biting in town? No. Not to my knowledge. (Laughs) Well, then, show me a biting. There'll be no question of fees until I see proof. Now, leave. They think this is still some kind of public service. * DOTTIE: Afternoon tea. Mmm. Very civilised. Very... Ah. Stags are deers with horns, right? Male deers. Yeah. Lots of Scottish crests have those. Lots? Yeah. Means they descended from hunters. So, Tony, why are you so interested in crests all of a sudden? It's sort of... a new hobby. Tony,... what are you really up to? McAshton has stags on his crest. See? Can I have this? Sure. Go ahead. And, Dad, can I go to work with you tomorrow? Ah... it's Saturday. Yeah. Why? To check out your project. Great. Will Lord McAshton be there? He lives there, buddy. But don't let that stop you. I won't. Tony! Well, be proud he finally has an interest in something normal. Enough weirdness going on around here, no wonder he's having nightmares. What do you mean? My presentation got interrupted today by a guy claiming the village was infested by vampires. You're making that up. What guy? (DRAMATIC MUSIC) MAN: I've got no family. No one to be with. Just me and all these dead people. ROOKERY: I'll drink to that. To dead people! And to the living dead. Oh, come on. You're either alive or dead. There ain't no in between, pal. Unless you're a vampire. Vampires? (Laughs) You must be joking. I knew you'd laugh. It's only natural. But we've been hunting them for over 400 years. That long? It's a family business you might say. Aye. For a hunter, you wear an awful lot of jewellery. This thing... ..the vampires have one just like it. But with one small difference. Theirs is designed to help them, this is designed to send them straight to hell. All I need is a stone and the magic is complete. (Laughs) Aye. Now it's...it's magic. There is a whole other world out there if you just know how to look for it. (RUSTLING NOISE) What's that? What? There! There it is! Oh, we're in luck. Come on. What? What is this? This wasn't here yesterday. This? Oh, yeah. I built this. Oh. I'll explain it later. Now, it must have gone down here. I'm going after it. Wait! It's my graveyard. It's my job. I'll do it. (Clears throat) Well, um...if you insist. But, ah...take this safety line. Not that I'll need it. There you are. (Chuckles) And...down we go. Down I go. (Chuckles) Oh... Come on. You know you want it. (Sniffs) (Breathes heavily) (RUSTLING SOUND) Oh! Oh... (Sniffs) (Gasps) (Hisses softly) Ah! Oh... (Hisses and growls) (Screams) (Laughs excitedly) The line grows taught, his heart pounds, he knows what's on the other end of the line and he relishes the fight. (Screams and moans) Here we come. Yeah! RUDOLPH: Let go, Gregory. Let go! It's a trap! Gregory! (Moans) Let go! Oh, yeah! Here you come, here you come. That's it. Bingo! You bit him? Just a taste. Was it worth betraying your family? Well, you're the traitor. Forever denying the truth of us. We are dark gods. You've turned us into cowards. Skulking round our holes like worms. What would you have us do? Fight back. Make these mortals' blood run cold. And you could do it, Gregory. You're young, strong, ruthless and willing to risk a stake through the heart to prove it. Better a stake than this prison. (Pants) FREDERICK: Do you think me oblivious? GREGORY: What does it matter to you what I think...if I think? It matters greatly. I feel your spirit. But you are Frederick the Great. You feel nothing! Let there be light! (Vampires scream) Run! We've uncovered a whole flock. Oh, thank you so much for your public spirit. (Vampires keep screaming) (Gasps) (Groans) (SMASH!) (Screaming stops) ANNA: Oh, my hero! Goal! Wow. Who did that? Eh! TONY: I found out about the coat of arms. It's Lord McAshton's - my father's boss. The missing stone must be at his house. Did you hear me, sir? You barely saved my life. He's very, very weak. I know just what you need. (LOUD SLURPING) (Cows moo) FREDERICK: I must find a place to hide you children. You can stay at my house. We need darkness, dampness and decay. Then you need our cellar. (Snores) (CREAKING) I'm sorry it's... Perfect. I need to go upstairs, but have a good day's sleep. And don't worry, I'm on it. On...on what, dear? Finding the amulet, Mother. That's how we kids talk today. Oh. 'Bye, dude. 'Bye, dude. (CREAKING) (DOOR CLOSES) Bob. Bob, I hear something moving. I don't hear anything. Tony might be having a nightmare. Go check on the poor little guy. It's not my turn. It is your turn. Really? Really. (PEACEFUL MUSIC) (DOOR OPENS) (STAIRS CREAK) (Whispers) Tony. Huh? Oh. I thought you were my dad again. (Whispers) Don't be surprised. I only want you to have this. It's from the old country. It will bring you luck. And if you ever need me, just whistle. You know how to whistle, don't you? (Whistles long, haunting note) (Attempts to whistle) (Whistles) * (JAUNTY MUSIC) (Cows moo) MAN: Argh! Sweet mother in heaven! Good morning. Hey. Good morning, Mom. Today's the day I get to go to work with Dad. Yeah, I know. Why don't you invite Rudolph? He couldn't make it. Ah, the mysterious stranger. Oh, he's around. It'd be nice to meet him one day. Maybe have his parents over for dinner. Actually, they'd rather have you for dinner. Either way's fine. Come on, hurry up. Let's go. OK. BOB: Lord McAshton. Ah. Take these, please. I'd like you to meet my son, Tony. Finally, little Tony Thompson. Let's feel that firm American grip. Shake Lord McAshton's hand. Tony's very excited to hear about your family history, aren't you, Tony? Not right now I'm not. Well, it's a noble history indeed. The McAshtons have ruled in these counties since time... immemorial. You'll have to excuse me. Tony, you stay away from that guy. He's crazy. I told you not to come back, unless... 'Unless' is exactly what's happened, my lord. Argh! Not the kind of holes that are good for the golfing business, eh, my lord? A biting right here in McAshton land. And there'll be more, unless we come to some arrangement. It's Elizabeth and her demon lover, isn't it? They've returned. I told you you had worries. Oh, come in. BOB: If we get up up here on 18, yeah. If we can crest up before the green, I think we can lose the sand traps on 18. Our ancestor, Elizabeth McAshton. The stone of Attamon. My grandfather told me the legend. He said it was to die with me. It could still happen. She saw a ship foundered upon the rocks, though there had been no storm. No sign of life, no crew, save one who crawled ashore injured. But he was no mortal man. His name was Von. Von Sackville-Bagg. A vampire. Elizabeth was taken by this Von and became one of the undead herself. And then what? Our family staked her... ..and Von. Warm-hearted bunch, aren't you? You of all people should understand! I'm joking, my lord. I'd have done the same myself. So where is she buried? Why? Like you said, we want to know if she's walking around. If I was a McAshton, I wouldn't want her looking for me. How do you like your steak, my lord? (Screams) (All scream) You're blocking the Lord of the Underworld. We didn't mean to. (Hisses) I want you to crawl back to your room, get under the bed and stay there! Yes, Lord Underworld. I said CRAWL! (DOOR HANDLE SQUEAKS) Allow me, my lord. I'm an expert. All part of the service. (GRINDING NOISE) Here. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) She was moved. But no-one's been down here since Mother...died. I'm talking about centuries ago, my lord. And judging from what I see, this tomb was just here for show. She's in an unmarked grave, wrapped in chains with a wooden stake through her ribs. Coffin purified. Why? Do you really want your mum to be buried next to a vampire? No, no, I loved Mother. She was fond of gardenias. Shut up. They reburied her in unhallowed ground, probably outside the churchyard walls. That's acres worth of land! Which is why I come equipped with state-of-the-art vampire locators, my lord. Ah! The little vampire sympathiser. Arggh! Ooh, now you've made your bed, now you can sleep in it. (Screams) No. NO! You can't do that. (Muffled) Let me out! It's murder! He's just a boy - Thompson's son. He's one of them. I've seen them all together, slithering in the night. I must tell his parents. (Muffled) Let me out! No. There are plenty of ways to get your throat punctured, my lord. Don't make me be the one. Let me out. Just tell me what to do. Right. That's better. Now, go away, and remember... (Mouse squeaks) Arggh! (Whistles) (Tony whistles) RUDOLPH: What? Tony's calling. He could be in danger. (Tony keeps whistling) Maybe he's found the stone. Let's go. Oh, the drama. Shh. Oh, dear. The sun. Daylight or not, we must go. Where are you going? You stay here. RUDOLPH: Left, right, left, right... Left, right, left, right, left, right... Left, right, left, right, left, right... Tony. What do you mean by running off today? You had me worried sick. Well, that's not g... I suppose this is Rudolph under here? OK. Well, this isn't your fault, Rudolph. But when you get home tonight, Tony Thompson, we're having a serious talk. OK. Well...go on and play your game... Left, right, left, right... ..whatever it is. What's that all about? Tony ran off from work and I got really worried. But I was happy he was playing with a friend and not obsessing about vampires. Amen, husband of mine. Which means we get the afternoon alone. Hmm. I like this Rudolph already. His parents wanna have us for dinner. * (Both strain) Tony, are you all right? Yeah. Dude, you heard me. I heard you, my hero. And I wrote you a poem. Who did this to you? Rookery. We'd better find Elizabeth's tomb before he does. It's about the power of love. Who's Elizabeth? The last holder of the stone. The woman in my dreams. "Your face saw I in the cemetery "filled with fright..." Rudolph, look. "For the night was scary. Still, you faced the foe undaunted..." He wants to lead us somewhere. "It was you I wanted "To hold me when the winds..." (GATE CREAKS) Behind the pillar, look. Hey! It's a door. A secret passage. This could lead to Elizabeth's grave. I wish we had a better light. Wait. Rookery seems to have left this behind. Thanks. (MACHINERY WHIRRS AND CLUNKS) (Chuckles) (Mumbles) Gone, all of them. They could have gone to the cliffs. Tonight's the night. Mortality beckons. Gregory. He's stolen the amulet. He will crush our hopes. It's the final mockery. No...he's a rare one, but that treachery is beyond him. If he has taken the amulet, it's to make the call. Then we shall go to the cliff too. I'm still very weak. I would fall from the sky if I flew. We'll find a way. DOTTIE: It's not like him to stay out this late. BOB: Who knows what he's like since he met that Rudolph. I thought you liked him. I never really met him. I did, but he was wrapped in foil. But we've never even seen him. We've never met his parents. They're probably foreigners. Foreigners? We are the foreigners. That's it, I'm calling the cops. Or the coppers, or whatever you call them here. Bobbies. (DOORBELL RINGS) Yes, hi. This is Dottie Thompson. I'm calling about my son. I'm Freda Sackville-Bagg. That's...wonderful. Rudolph's mother. I'm sure you're worried about Tony. Tony? Your son. We know who he is. We want to know where he... Tony is going to the cliff with Rudolph and Anna to watch the comet. Anna? Our daughter. Dare I say your charming young man has cast quite a spell on her. Well, we think he's charming. Frederick Sackville-Bagg, at your service. Hi. How about it, Bob? Want to see a comet? Sure. Are we supposed to be in costume, like you guys? BOTH: Costume? The Shakespearean, aristocratic thing, like you guys? I don't wear the costume of an aristocrat. I am an aristocrat. OK, whatever. We should hurry. It's urgent. Urgent? Well, the comet is near. Oh. TONY: We must be near the cemetery. Follow me. ANNA: To the ends of the earth, my darling. Where's your car? We flew. Let's take yours. (CAR HORN BEEPS) Hold up, Thompson, I've got a job for you. You might not like it. We didn't like it 300 years ago, but we did our duty. That's the point - duty. Use the blunt end of the axe. One, two, three. It's over. What are you talking about? You have to drive the stake through Tony's heart. Oh, my God! No worries, he's already dead. He's a vampire, Bob. It's not easy for a father to hear, but your son's a bloodsucking fiend. OK, don't worry, I'll handle this. Take them. You'll thank me in the morning. I've had enough of all you people and all your vampire BS. And don't call Tony a vampire ever again! And how dare you embarrass me and my wife in front of our guests! These are aristocrats. Aristocrats? Yes, my lord. And Tony happens to be my son's best friend. Robert is right, Tony isn't a vampire. Now, drop that axe, and take your leave. Yeah, take your leave, or you'll be building your own golf course, buddy. Alright. I'm leaving. You hear that, Dottie? Ah! I told him to take his leave. You were wonderful. Bob, the comet. My lady. Those aren't aristocrats. Those are vampires! (Starts car engine) (MYSTERIOUS RUSHING NOISE) We have to keep moving. Time is running out. We can't go any further. Why not? There's something ahead. Some kind of curse. You have to go first, Tony dearest. (MAJESTIC MUSIC) (Gasps) I found it! Go see what it is. But be careful. There's something written on here. (Reads) Caveat Vamptor. Let the vampire beware. It's a curse. Stupid chains. Break! Break! Come on! We need a miracle. Oh, no. Oh, yes! The curse is gone. Yes! Whoa! RUDOLPH: Let's try and open it. One, two, three, pull. Now! It's Elizabeth. Uncle Von. Father's right. He did come here. Oh, how romantic. Their love preserved forever. The stone isn't here. Oh. (Trembles) (Breathes rapidly) (Man shouts) After them! Oh. (URGENT, DRAMATIC MUSIC) (Hisses) (Whimpers) (Pants) (Hisses) Kill! (People shout violently) (URGENT MUSIC CONTINUES) MAN: Up here, everyone! (Gasps) (POUNDING AT DOOR) (Men shout triumphantly) (Gasps) The stone's in my room! No wonder I had those dreams. Thank you for sharing that with me. (DISTANT WAVES CRASH) (CHAIN MAKES RINGING NOISE) What? (FAINT RINGING CONTINUES) What's happening? The call. You go to the cliffs. We'll get the stone. OK. Let's go. FREDERICK: Robert, could you drive a little faster, please? Darling, do you hear? Hear what? The call. (FAINT RINGING) It's Gregory, our eldest son. He's calling the clan. Yeah. (DOORS CREAK) (Cows moo) Mother, Father, we found Uncle Von's grave. I mean, Tony found it. He saw the stone in a vision. He and Rudolph are after it now. May their quest be fruitful. Thank you, Gregory. (RINGING BECOMES HIGHER AND LOUDER) (BATS SCREECH) Something weird is happening here. Bob! Oh, God! (Vampires murmur evilly) (Screams) Don't worry. Everything is gonna be fine. BOB: Just stay calm. Freda says we're going to be fine. Hi. Um...my name's Bob. And this is my wife, Dottie. (Growls) Good night for a gathering, huh? Leave them alone. They're friends. VAMPIRE: Since when have they been friends? (Sighs) Where is it? I saw it around here. How do you know? How do I know? I have visions, dude. No need to bite my head off. Biting is your job. Mine is to find the amulet. We've got to find it. (URGENT MUSIC) Rookery! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (POUNDING AT DOOR) I'm coming! (FRANTIC MUSIC BUILDS) Oh, boys, you've locked the door. (Chuckles evilly) I've found it! (MAGICAL TINKLING MUSIC) The stone of Attamon. Ah! (BURST OF ORGAN MUSIC) Hand it over. It belongs to my friend. No, no, no. It belongs to me. Now, give. Not without a fight. Oh? Well, I can't be bothered. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (Hisses) Tony! Don't give him the stone! TONY: Argh! Let me go! (Hisses) (Hisses) * (Cows moo) Get out of the way! (Blasts horn) Get out of the way! Give me that stone. No! I said give me that stone! My friend needs it. Oh, boo hoo! I need it, laddie,... to send them straight to hell. (Moos angrily) (MAGICAL MUSIC) (Moos angrily) (Snorts) (Moos) (Bellows loudly) What do you want? You want this? Well, come and get it. (ENGINE REVS) (Roars) Aaaaaaaagh! (Screams) Yee-ha! (Cows moo) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Whoa! (Cow farts) (Cow laughs) Whoa! Arggh! Hey! Hey! No, you don't. Give me that. (Cackles) RUDOLPH: Tony, the lights! Turn off the lights! Hey! You leave that alone! Sit back. RUDOLPH: Tony! Hey, you! Whoo-hoo! Whoa! Whoa! (Yells) Aaaaaagh! Going...going...gone! We have only a few moments more. After all of our wandering, all of our waiting, I've left our fate in the hands of two small boys. It's all my fault. I won't even ask your forgiveness. I don't deserve it. Rudolph. You've got it. Alright! Yeah! Arggh! (TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) Yeah! Tony's near. Where? VAMPIRE: What did she say? There! VAMPIRE: In the sky! Tony power! BOTH: Oh, my God. I think you've been looking for this. VAMPIRE: The amulet! The stone. Thank you, my friend. Tony! Mom! Dad! The stone of Attamon is ours! (Vampires howl) (MAGICAL MUSIC) Ab ovo... ..in toto... ..nil desperandum... ..sine die. (MAJESTIC MUSIC SWELLS) (Vampires gasp) (SINISTER MUSIC) BOB: Hey. That's my blimp! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Ah! (Cackles evilly) Mom! Dad! And you will go straight to hell! Alright. That's it! (Laughs maniacally) FEMALE VAMPIRE: Yes! I don't think so. RUDOLPH: Catch it, Tony! ROOKERY: Aaaaaaagh! (WATER SPLASHES) FREDERICK: The ceremony! Tony, you know what we want. Wish it! (TENSE MUSIC) RUDOLPH: You have to wish it. Now! (GRAND MUSIC) (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (SOARING, TRIUMPHANT MUSIC) (MYSTICAL SIGHING) (MAGICAL TINKLING) (GENTLE MUSIC) (SENTIMENTAL MUSIC) What did you wish for? (Sniffs) What else do you want? (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (HOPEFUL MUSIC) TONY: Hey! It's me. Tony! (Tries to whistle) (Whistles long, haunting note) (BRIGHT, HOPEFUL MUSIC) (INTRO TO 'IKO IKO' PLAYS) SONG: # My Gramma and your Gramma # sittin' by the fire. # My Gramma said to your Gramma # I'm gonna set your flag on fire. # Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. # Look at my queen all dressed in red. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Betcha $5 he'll kill you dead. # Jockamo fee nane. Talkin' 'bout Hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday... # (Cows moo) Mitsy! Flora! Clara! Bridget! Sarah! # My flag boy and your flag boy # sittin' by the fire. # My flag boy said to your flag boy # I'm gonna set your flag on fire. # Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. Jockamo fee nane. # Iko! (ELECTRIC GUITAR SOLO) # Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. # See that guy all dressed in green. # Iko, Iko, unday. He's not a man; he's a lovin' machine. # Jockamo fee nane. Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. # Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. Talkin' 'bout hey now, hey now. # Iko, Iko, unday. # Jockamo feeno ai nane. # Jockamo fee nane. Talkin' 'bout Hey now, hey now. # (INTRO TO 'BEST FRIENDS') SONG: # Any time you need a friend, # you can count on me. # Any time you're having doubts, # you know I will believe. # Even through the thick and thin, # no matter where or when, # on me you can depend. # we are best friends. # Whenever there is something that is trying to knock you down, # remember you can call me # and we'll get your feet on solid ground. # You'll never have to worry. # Don't you ever walk in fear. # Cos through it all, you'll have someone who's always standing near. # Right by your side. # Right by your side. # If you need my strength, # you can tell me ` there's nothing to hide. # Nothing to hide. # Any time you need a friend, # you can count on me. # Any time you're having doubts, # you know I will believe. # Even through the thick and thin, # no matter where or when, # on me you can depend. # We are best friends. # Oh yes. # Ah. # You understand the battles # we must go through every day. # If ever I am lost, I know that you will help me find my way. # I still remember all those times # when I was feeling low. # You picked me up and said # there's something I think you should know. # You're not on your own. # Not on your own. # Whatever you're facing, # you don't have to face it alone. # Face it alone. # Any time you need a friend, # you can count on me. # Any time you're having doubts, # you know I will believe. Even through the thick and thin, # no matter where or when, on me you can depend. # We are best friends. # As long as we're together, # there's no mountain that we can't climb. # Through the good and the bad, # happy or sad, # this friendship we have # will last for all time! # Any time you need a friend, # you can count on me. # Any time you're having doubts, # you know I will believe. # Even through the thick and thin, # no matter where or when, # on me you can depend. # We are best friends. # Any time you need a friend, # you can count on me. # Any time you're having doubts, # you know I will believe. # Even through the thick and thin, # no matter where or when, # on me you can depend. # We are best friends. #