(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019 Hut! Martel! Martel, you're a wimp. (COUGHS) I can't believe that. Martel goes for a give-up slide. It was cautious. I got one foot in the grave, I coulda scored. That could be the last play of the season. In case you haven't heard, the players' strike became official at 4pm Eastern time. I am very sad that the players' demands, which centre around a rise in the current salary cap have been rejected by the owners. Now, I have told my union brothers to walk. Get me Jimmy McGinty. Have him here tonight, huh? Yes, sir. (COUGHS) I'm here with quarterback, Eddie Martel. Eddie, there are a lot of angry fans who feel the players are being too greedy. Anything you'd like to say to that? Dwight, I know five million a year sounds like a lot of money, but I have to pay 10% to my agent, 5% to my lawyer, child support - Do you have any idea what insurance costs on a Ferrari, mother? Pat, er, back to you. OK, that was Washington running back, Malcolm La Mont. It's all about money, folks, but isn't it always? It usually is. This is Pat Summerall for John Madden saying so long from Nextel Stadium. (LAUGHS) You look like shit. Well, I'm dying, Jimmy. Oh, ho, ho. Come on. You've been dying for 20 years. (SIGHS) Salut. Gimme a cigarette. I quit. Oh, nobody likes a quitter, Jimmy. (LAUGHS) See the game today? Nah. You liar. Could you believe that slide by Martel? What a pussy. What's up? Take a ride with me, Jimmy. How's the wife? She got her lips done. I never even knew you had to have your lips done. (SIGHS) Looks like a large mounted bass. (BOTH LAUGH) Look, Jimmy, I'm too old to screw around. Let me give it to you straight, huh? I want you back. You already have a coach. I'll take care of that. Like you took care of me. Now, Jimmy. I need players. They flew home to their castles and private jets, remember? We're gonna finish the season anyway. We're gonna use replacement players. What a business. Well, we got four games left. We win three, we're in the play-offs. Really? Win three out of four with replacement players? That's not too much to ask, is it? You won for me once, you can do it again. How's about it, Jimmy? Look, nobody's gonna give you a better chance than this, after that Dallas mess. I was right about that. Had nothing to do with being right. You went head-to-head with a quarterback. Who the hell did you think was gonna win? That's not gonna happen here. I'm talking about a team of poor nobodies who play to win, not a bunch of bitchy millionaires. Come on, Jimmy. I'm thinking. Hello! Hello! (LAUGHS) I want total control of my team. I want to be able to recruit anybody that I want, no interference. (CLEARS THROAT) My word is my bond. (CHUCKLES) I want it in writing. OK, Jimmy. OK. (LAUGHS) We'll skip special teams for the moment. It'll be tough putting an offence and defence together. We're gonna go a different way. Different way? Here's a list of people I've been keeping my eye on over the years. They've all played football, not all of 'em in the pros, but they all have something unique to bring to the game. We'll take these people, try and put together a winning team. If nothing else, they should be fun to watch. Daniel Bateman, SWAT team officer. Awarded the Purple Heart for losing a kidney in the Gulf War. Ya, ha, ha, ha, yeah! He was a walk-on at Michigan State before he gave up football, sneaked back into service for one more tour of duty. Clifford Franklin. Great attitude, great desire, fastest son of a bitch I've seen. Hey! Clifford! Quickly! What's up? What's up? Is that your quickest? But can he catch? That's why I have you, Leo. Andre and Jamal Jackson. Together, these guys are the best guards in the game. (PHONE RINGS) Yo, Jamal! Yo, Andre! When? You kidding me? Andre got traded and they both fell apart. He ain't our problem no more. We can play football. Football? Football. Football. Football? A-huh. Nigel Gruff. A striker out of Cardiff. Now residing in Hell's Kitchen. They call him The Leg cos he can kick a soccer ball the entire length of the field and score. Gentlemen! The drinks are on the house-ah! (ALL CHEER) Bollocks! Hey! Pissing away our money again. Money's on the way, money's on the way. Where? To the OTB? I got a line on a horse. It's a winner. I swear on my mam's grave. Your what? Listen to this guy, swearing on his mother's grave now. Listen, I want my money! Has he kept in shape? By Welsh standards. Shane Falco. Shane Falco. Footsteps Falco from Ohio State? The same. God, he,... ..he hasn't played in years. He'll be well rested then. You look like a swordfish I caught once. Yeah, he hit the deck just like that. You know who I am? Yeah. Jimmy McGinty, that old coach from the '80s. (CHUCKLES) We met just before the Sugar Bowl. I remember. Hell of a game, that Sugar Bowl. What did you lose that by, 40 points? That would be 45. Sometimes a game like that sticks with you, you never shake it off. Got three concussions to prove it. It's why girls don't play the game. Why are you here? I'm back with the Sentinels. I want you to quarterback. I found the best guards to protect you, I got a wide receiver, even you couldn't overthrow. (SIGHS) I'm retired. Retired? Well, looks like things have gone real well for you since. (SIGHS) I got no complaints. It's quiet here. Nobody bothers me. Well, that's the great thing about plankton, it pretty much keeps to itself. You know what separates the winners from the losers, kid? The score. Getting back up on that horse again. I've watched films of your games since the Sugar Bowl. You should have carried a clipboard that year, not the team. Your teammates leaned on you, and you crumbled. Is that how you wanna be remembered? I don't wanna be remembered at all. You're still young. If you do well, who knows what'll happen once the strike ends. I won't make you any promises, but why don't you take a chance? Rather than hang out here scraping crap off the bottom of somebody else's toys. Think it over. You could be part of something. I'm here to remind football fans that what these owners are doing is unconscionable. They have blatantly gone out and hired scams, going against the principles of our constitution and the Declaration of Independence and the Emancipation Proclamation as well. Here come the scams now. Hey, that's Eddie Martel. And that's Wilson Carr. Hey, Wilson, I love you, man! Hey, what's that? I love you, man. I'm gonna busy your ass, and your ass! Piss off! Piss off! (MUMBLES) (YELLING THROUGHOUT SCENE) Get that Bible out of here! Sorry! Sorry about this. Argh! (INDISTINCT) Hey, hey! Argh! I'm very sorry. Sorry. Get a job, you wankers! Oh, yeah. Hell, yeah! Looking good out there, kid. You got the goods, you got the goods. Where in the hell did you learn to catch like that? Roberts, make that D back commit before you cut, all right? Jimmy. My tight end is deaf. Yeah, I know. Jimmy, how am I gonna coach a deaf man? You won't need to. Brian Murphy would have gone in the first round if he hadn't been born deaf. Played his college ball right here in DC. Jimmy, I gotta be able to communicate with him, and how...? Learn to sign, you know. Oh, horse shit. Look at it this way, you'll never be called off sides on an audible. Hey, Coach. Hey, Nigel, good to see ya. Good to see you. How are you? Good, good. Great. Is this, this is The Leg? I thought you told me he was solid muscle. He's much stronger than he looks. I'm wiry. Go get some kicks in. He's wired-y. Wired-y. I'm sure you've been briefed as to your situation. Coach McGinty asked you be turned over to us for five weeks and the Governor's been kind enough to comply. Nice watch. What? Oh, this. Er, it's a fake. Damn thing's always broken. (LAUGHS) It's only right twice a day. Why don't we go join the others, shall we? No sense standing here by ourselves, out of screaming distance. Come on, let's turn around there. Hey, Jimmy. Falco, when's he coming? Relax, Leo, he'll be here. Yeah. Come on, quick feet, quick feet. I am relaxed. That's not the point. It's nervous energy. Case in point, we don't have a quarterback, do we? Fire her out of there. We have no game plan for Sunday. And the only good thing I can say about our one offensive weapon is it's wiry. What the shit is that? No, it's wired-y. However the hell you say it. Say it, wired-y. Yeah, wired-ry. Wider-y. Holy! Look at that. Look at this mama-jamma. Hi. Hey! (SPEAKS JAPANESE) Have you lost weight? Come on, Coach, don't say that. (CHUCKLES) No, you look great. Why don't you work out on Sodie? Sodie, hi-hi. So, he's, he's lost weight? Sumo wrestler. Expert at pushing people around. Yeah. That's what path blocking is, remember? That's right. Yeah. All right, next one, 74, come on! Set, hut! Pick it up! All right, way to go. It's all about pushing people around. Set, hut! Drive, drive, drive! All right, oh, here's the coach's boy. Let's see what he can do. Set, hut! Yes! Go ahead, sumo boy. Now get this off of me. That'll do, pig, that'll do. Screw you, cockroach. You'll have to find your dick first. Get this off of me, sumo boy! (SIGHS) Hey, scab. I don't want any trouble. You guys hear that? He's taking my job but he doesn't want any trouble. Not only is he taking your job, he's taking your parking space, too. What's up? Is that right, Falco? I didn't know it was yours. I'll, er, I'll move it. No, let us do that for you. Guys, move the new boy's ride for him. Coming right up, Mr Falco. Ready, fellas? One, two, three. Thanks, guys. (ALARM BEEPS) Asshole! Jesus, they got Falco. They must really be getting desperate. Hey, Falco! You're not even a has-been. You're a never-was! (ALL LAUGH) Go! Come on, let's pick it up. (BOTH YELL) (WHISTLES) Form a line here, come on, form a line. Let's go seven on seven. Yeah, baby. Check it out, y'all. Our new quarterback. Jimmy, we're in business now. You're late. Car trouble. Still got that arm? Hey, Falco. Go! (LAUGHTER) That's gonna leave a mark. Leo, Franklin's down again. I'm OK, I'm OK. I'm OK. Let's play some football! Yeah. Ready? 330. 330. Ha, ha! (ROARS) Danny Bateman. Shane, Falco. Nice pop, Danny. Thanks, Coach. In practice, we don't hit the fellas with the red shirts on. I know, Coach, but I see that red and I just wanna go after it like a bull, you know. (MUTTERS) OK, Danny. (YELLS) Hey. (GRUNTS) I want you to get used to setting up on the run. Move fast, think even faster. You'll live a lot longer. I ain't interested in that. Huddle up! Hey, Shane Falco. I lost a ton of money on the Sugar Bowl disaster. What a bloody shambles that was. You could smell the stink all the way back in Wales. (WHISTLES) Nice meeting you. * Argh! Oh, shit, I forgot about the whole red shirt thing. This game's confusing, man! Remember, red... means stop. Like a street light, right? Yeah. Get on up. Go ahead. I'm just gonna lie here a moment and collect my thoughts. Well, chill out, right? Be glad he's on your side. Yeah. So you have a cheer or something? A-huh, a-huh. You ready? A-huh. # Let's hear it for the quarterback Hey, hey, ho, ho # Could anyone play better? Say, say, no, no # Tackle, tackle, tackle, tackle tack, tack, tack # Show those other boys what they lack, lack, lack # If I gave you a dollar you could keep most of the change # Cos all I really want is a quarter back # # California oranges take this cactus # We think your team needs a little practice # Sit 'em in a highchair feed 'em with a spoon # Roll 'em up in toilet paper kick 'em to the moon # All right, that was great, thank you. Thank you! Do you, can you dance? (RAP MUSIC) (HUBBUB) Hey, bro, lemme have that. What the hell is this? Chinese spare ribs. You don't want 'em, get the fuck outta here. I'm tryin' to figure out how the Chinaman over here gets 700lb off of eatin' this shit. I'm Japanese, not Chinese. Same difference. What? It's the same difference! All that big... (GIBBERS) You do know Japan and China are two different countries, right? You do know I've got an attitude, bitch? What, being a gangster? Yeah! (LAUGHTER) (YELLS) Sit down! (YELLS) Come on, lads! Hey, we're on the same team! We're on the same team, now chill out! The Mick's right. I'm not a Mick, I'm bloody Welsh! Whatever. Man, I'm goin' to sit with the deaf kid. Jesus Christ! Praise His glory, Nigel, you praise His glory. # Slash 'em, slash 'em, cut 'em down # Smear their blood all over town # Punch 'em, hit 'em, make it last # Come on, boys, let's kick some... # # "Bust A Move" - Young MC (GIGGLES) I played one game with the pros, and I blew out my knee and that was it. Oh, shit! Yeah. All I wanna do is score one touchdown before I hang up my badge. You'll get it. Hey, man. Wilkinson! Earl Wilkinson! (LAUGHS) Well, I knew I recognised you, man, I knew it! You played for Minnesota, baby! Oh, shit, Earl Wilkinson, man! Oh, my God! Boy, you'd been All Pro if you hadn't beat up them cops and gone to jail! What, what, what I meant to say was allegedly, um, allegedly beat up them cops. Because a good Christian boy like you would never do nothin' like that. That, that's right. The way I heard it, my man didn't even do nothin', anyway! Them cops were jealous of the black man! Hear what I'm sayin'? My boy been livin' large! I can't stand the cops! I better not see a cop, I'll whoop his ass! I'm a cop. Look,... cake! They're fine! Yummy little monkeys! Hello? Oh, hey. Hi. Hey. You, um, yeah! (BOTH GIGGLE) So, um, are you Heather and Dawn? Yep. We sure are. This is great! I can't tell you how excited I am to actually have some girls with dance experience! I'm excited, too! I know. God, me, too, too! So, Heather, you were in Cats, which is, I can't tell you, so terrific! Oh, no, you know, um, Pussy Cats. You know the club next to the airport, Pussy Cats? Oh! Oh. Yeah. Yeah. So that style of dancing, that would... Is lap dancing a style? No! I mean... Oh, my God, I forgot to tell you something. Oh, she always does that! (LAUGHS) Well,... I've seen all I need to see. No way! (SQUEALS) My God, I'm so excited! Go suit up. Yes! Whoo! Go down the tunnel and to your left. OK. Yeah! Hey, um, if you guys have any friends down at the club, um, would you send 'em over? Sure! Yeah! Absolutely! Where you goin', number 48? (GIGGLES) Hey! Hey. I was watching you today. You looked good. Good release, strong arm. You're gonna do fine. Thanks. I'm Annabelle Farrell. Hi. Shane Falco. I know. I remember you from that '96 Sugar Bowl game. (SIGHS) Didn't anybody have anything better to do that day? (CHUCKLES) You should get your teammates help you turn this back over. Yeah, I was, er, I was thinking I'd call 888 later or something. D'you wanna lift? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, that would be, that would be great. Thanks. Why were you staying in the pocket at practice today? I never comment to a quarterback about his style, but you need to keep scrambling against Detroit, especially with Prescott back. Prescott hasn't crossed. He will Sunday. They're keeping it quiet. How do you know that? A cheerleader for Detroit tipped me off. He's a left-sided linebacker, shotgun formation, roll right. Van Gundy's on the right. No. One of my cheerleaders is friends with a girl whose sister just dumped him. He's been on a drinking binge since she left him. Yeah? He's hung over! He's a good second slower off the snap. I'll stick to the right side. Unless what they say about Martinez is true. That was fun(!) This is great! You live out here? Which one's yours? It's over here. You see that white yacht with the satellite dish? Oh, my...! I'm the old houseboat next to it covered in seagull shit. (LAUGHS) So, what did you name her? Phyxius. Phyxius, what does that mean? Putting to flight. You, er, you wanna come on board for a beer? Nothing personal, Shane, but I don't date football players. I don't blame you. Not even quarterbacks? Especially not quarterbacks. You guys are the biggest babies of all. The biggest babies? Yeah. Thanks for the ride. Good luck Sunday. Be careful out there. I will. (WHISTLES) Shane? What are you up to? Just, er,... ..watching the game. Nervous? (SIGHS) No, I'm, er, I'm good. (LAUGHS) You're like a duck on a pond. On the surface, everything looks calm, but beneath the water, those little feet are just turnin' a mile a minute. You'll be fine. Just find a way to lead your team, earn their respect. Yeah. How are you doin'? Me? (CHUCKLES) I'm just another duck on the pond. Hey, Coach, can I ask you a question? Yeah, shoot. Why me? I look at you and I see two men. The man you are and the man you ought to be. Someday, those two will meet. Should make for a hell of a football player. Get some sleep, kiddo. You're playing professional football tomorrow. (LAUGHS) (CHANTING) Welcome to Nextel Stadium in our nation's capital. I'm Pat Summerall, and with me as always is John Madden. Detroit bought a semi-pro team once the strike happened. Washington is going with a bunch of unknowns. But we'll probably see a few guys we know. Like Shane Falco, that talented college quarterback who disappeared after a disastrous showing in the Sugar Bowl. There's my man. Having a snack before the game? It does a body good. You are one crazy son of a bitch. Yeah? Yeah. You know how I know that? How? Only you would eat eggs before a game! Give me a break, I need to bulk up. You want one? No! They're good for you. All right, Sentinels, listen up. Welcome to professional football. (APPLAUSE / WHOOPING) Some will say your accomplishments today will soon be forgotten, that you're not real players, that this isn't a real team. And I say that is bullshit! Because as of today, you're all professional football players. You're being paid to play. Remember that, because the men whose places you've taken forgot that a long time ago. All right, let's bring it in here. Ready, guys! Let's play some football! (ALL CHEER) All right! Domino's is now extra great value, because now you can upgrade to an extra large and get 50% more pizza for just $3 more! Try it on our Cheaper Everyday $5 Value Range and make your money go further at Domino's. * For some of the players, this is another shot. And a last shot for a guy like Falco. Remember that beating he took against Florida state? Oh, yeah. But that's nothin' compared to those beatings that he took up there in Seattle. One thing we do know is that Falco can take a hit. Well, he sure as heck had a lot of practice at it. (ALL YELL) Ladies and gentlemen, the Washington Sentinels! Oh! Did you see that? Well, that's a pretty good hit. Will the medical trainers please report to the east tunnel? Maybe he was a little overanxious, huh? And now, the rest of the Washington Sentinels! (CHEERING) (CHANTING) All right, let's go, let's go! Let's get out there, guys! There can only be one leader out there. You be it! (WHOOPING) That's where I stand, man. No, it's not. That's my spot in the huddle. It's not! Get to your spot, bro! Let's go, chopstick! Let's play some football! What do you say? (YELLS) Huh? (YELLS) It's my spot now! Not for long, you tub of rice shit! Hey, hold on! What's the problem here? (YELLING) Pork rice! I'm Japanese, not Chinese! Come on! Don't mess with me! What's going on? Something seems to be going on in the huddle. Falco's on his back. Come on! They haven't had a play and Falco's down! Yeah, he got hit by his own guy! He was looking at his earhole for a minute! This isn't a good sign. Are you OK? Am I hurt already? Your partner near knocked your head off. Let's go, buddy. Come on, Shane, get it together! ..delay of game. I'm the quarterback. I'm the only one supposed to talk in the huddle. He was in my spot! I don't give a shit! Now huddle up. Hey! If you've got something to say, raise your hand. Is that understood? Suppose you don't feel good or you're hurt? Tell me before the huddle starts. OK? Right. OK, here we go. Ds to your right, switch 25 blast. It's not... What? That's to the left, right? No, that's to the right. It's to the left! Ssh! (LAUGHTER) You gotta be quiet or they're gonna hear us, then what? (WHISTLE SOUNDS) I'm not blockin' to...! (GROANING) Delay of game! Number 16 on the offence! Five yards! Well, so far the Sentinels have minus-10 yards offensively. (CHANTING) PC right, pro, 424 tomahawk on one, on one. Ready? Ready! B-22! I'm coming for you, Footsteps! B-22! Ready? Run! Come on, Shane, come on! Whoa! You could hear Falco's fillings drop all the way up here! And Detroit take over the football with excellent field position. Give me an S! S! Give me an E! E! Give me an N! N! Give me a T! T! Give me a...! I! I! We'll get 'em next time, Shane. (YELLING) Eagle over, cover four! On three, get ready! Huh! All coming out all day! All day, blue eyes! Christmas mornin' and Santa's comin' down the chimney! Jimmy, I'm gonna bury your family! I'm gonna bury your dog! I'm gonna bury your dog! Champ, champ! (SNARLS) Now that's football! You get it, you get it, you like it? (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Come on! I think the Sentinels set a record for penalties in the first three minutes! We're still waiting for the stats on that. Personal foul! Number 56 on defence! Bullshit! Half the distance to the goal! Bateman on that one, that was just a cheap shot. That should be worse than a penalty. They're walking right through us! Touchdown Detroit! All right, all right. Oh, honey, don't worry about it. Let's go! Let's get this, huh? Double slot zag, OK? What? I don't feel too good. Come on, suck it up, huh? Come on! (Jesus Christ!) Eggs! That's ripe! Jesus! What'd you eat, man? If we don't move, I'm gonna blow chow, too. We're in a huddle here. Double slot zag, 88... (GROANING) Jesus! Goddamn! Hey, I tried to tell you, I can't be around somebody pukin', I start pukin'! Shit! OK, OK, OK, OK, OK, OK! On three,... everyone move left. Ready? Hut-hut-hut! What the hell is that? What the...? John, how many years we've been calling games together? 19, I think. You ever seen anything like that? Not on a football field. What them guys doin'? Beats the hell outta me. Look at it this way, it's the first a thing we've done as a team. Hey! Heat it up, let's go! (ALL) OK! Ready? Blue 42! Blue 42! Hut! (CHEERING) ..number 34, Walter Cochran. First down, Washington. (CHEERING) Was it out of bounds? Yes, on 23. 23! Blue right, 60, X post. Blue right, 60, X post! Let's go, let's go! Roll, four, hit! (CHEERING DROWNS OUT TANNOY) Now we rollin'! Now we rollin'! Signs of life from Washington here. That last completion by Falco puts them back in field goal range. Field goal, let's go! Field goal! Let's go! Nigel? It's over the bar, not under. OK? Go get 'em. Hold that. Here comes the field goal team. This'll be a 40-yard attempt for kicker Nigel Gruff, against the wind. And here's a guy from Wales, and he's kicking his first field goal ever. This is a tough distance. (SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT) (WILD CHEERING) Yeah, yeah, she's there! She's there! Boom! Boom! Boom! Nigel Gruff kicks and scores! Half-time score, Washington three, Detroit fourteen. (WILD CHEERING) Ow! Ow! Oof! Whoa! That's the second time tonight a Washington player has been knocked out by his own teammate! There's a rule in sports, don't do anything great if you can't take the congratulations. There is? Yep. Give me an S! S! Give me an E! E! Give me an N! N! Give me a T! T! Give me a,... er, I... Watch the wheel, watch the wheel! All right! All right! All right, let's go! Let's go! (SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT) Touchdown Smith! That gets the Sentinels back into the ball game. I tell you, this guy is a heck of a player, but I don't know him. According to the Sentinels, Ray Smith is... Hey, that's weird! No college given, no high school. Just says he's been a resident of Maryland for two years, two months, and he likes, he likes to embroider! He does some fancy work with the ball. Weird, man! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Hut! Ready! Green 11! Green 11! Hut! Falco's sacked and the ball comes loose. Detroit's ball with a minute remaining. Let's go, let's go! (RANTS) Danny, Danny, Danny! I need that ball. Get me the ball. You need the ball. Get me the ball. Get you the ball. Are you gonna get me the ball? I'm gonna get you the ball! I want it! (RANTS) Gonna get that ball! I hope he doesn't kill somebody. I'm back! I'm back! Get the ball! (RANTS) Get the ball! (CHEERING) All right! All right! I got it! Now that is All Madden team! You're the man! I'm the man! You got the ball! I got the ball! You got it! I got it! You got it! I got it! You got it! I got it! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Go sit down now, Danny. OK. Number 56, Daniel Bateman... Falco! We gotta pass, all right? It's gotta be in the end zone. DC right, zig 90 eagle. You can do this, now, come on. All right? Yeah. Let's do it! Come on! All right, let's go! Let's go! * (CHANTING) Ready? Right! Let's go! Go, go, go, go! Ready! Blue 25! Here comes the pain, baby! Hm! (LAUGHS) 25! Check, check! What are you doin'? Check! Run back, run back! Back 32. What? He's changing the play, listen. He's checking off the run. I told him to pass! 32! Shit! Hut, hut! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Falco calls an audible at the line of scrimmage, and Cochran nearly takes it in for a touchdown! What a heartbreaker for Washington. (HUBBUB) Final score, Washington 10... Shane? ..Detroit 14. If I wanted Cochran to have that ball, I would've called it! I read blitz. Bullshit! I put the game in your hands, you got scared. I read blitz. Winners always want the ball when the game's on the line. This is WFAN, you're on the line. How do you feel about that strike? The fans are gettin' screwed! I got season tickets I can't give away! Gonna check out the replacement players? They're a bunch of nobodies! # "I Will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor (HIGH-PITCHED) # At first I was afraid, I was petrified # Thinking I could never live without you by my side # Man, why d'you play that dumb ass song? I put on The Commodores, that shit just came on. Can somebody please cut that bullshit off? Hey! We did the best we could do. You don't get points for trying. Face it, boys, we screwed the pooch today. (LAUGHS) Hey, there they are! Ladies and gentlemen, your Washington Sentinels! (APPLAUSE / WHOOPING) He's the luckiest guy here. At least he couldn't hear the booing (LAUGHTER) Hello, anyone home?! Did I hear an echo? Hey, where did McGinty get you, the Special Olympics? No wonder they couldn't win, he can't even order a drink! (LAUGHTER) Lay off. Lighten up, it's not like he can hear what I'm saying. I can. What's that say? One good thing about being deaf, makes it easy to ignore the assholes. You... ..asshole. That's funny. Hey, man! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Guys, whoa! Hey, hey, it's cool, it's cool, it's cool! You had enough? (LAUGHTER) You got balls. You got shit for brains, but you got balls. Thank you. Hey! Danny, remember what I told you about red shirts in practice? Yeah. Forget about it. OK. Martel. (YELLS) Who's the man? Who's the man? Come on, come on! (YELLING) Come on, come on! Stop! Let's play football, bitch! (GRUNTING THROUGHOUT SCENE) We are all God's children here! And deliver thee into the hands of brutish men! (YELLS) Ezekiel Twill, 21-31. Whoo! (SIRENS WAIL) Same old bullshit! I'd think it'd be more of a homecoming for you. All of a sudden, you gonna be a funny man? Bateman, Wilkinson! Hey, guys, what're you doin'? Can't we all just get along? (LAUGHTER) Come on. What I wanna know, why we the only ones in this jail? Simple. They're winners. Hell, no, not tonight. That was pretty sweet, the way you sat on Wilson's head, Jumbo. (LAUGHTER) Thanks, Jamal. (ALL YELL IN SPANISH) He wasn't the only one kicked some ass. Oh, no! You the man tonight, Clifford Franklin! (LAUGHTER) What? You were hidin' behind the jukebox, wa'n't he? (LAUGHTER) Hey, man, at first, I admit, I was afraid. Shit, I was petrified. You were petrified? Thinkin' I could never live without you by my side. The Lord is by your side, have mercy. And then I spent so many nights thinkin' how you did me wrong and I grew strong. You know I hate this damn song! # I learned how to get along And so you're back from outer space # I just walked in to find you here With that sad look upon your face # I should have changed that stupid lock # I should have made you leave your key # If I had known for just one second # You'd be back to bother me # Go on, now go, walk out the door # Just turn around now # Cos you're not welcome any more Remember this? # Weren't you the one that tried to hurt me with goodbye? # Did you think I'd crumble Oh! Hey! # Did you think I'd lay down and die? # Oh, no, not I, I will survive Come on! # As long as I know how to love # I know I'll stay alive # I've got all my life to live # And I've got all my love to give # And I'll survive, I will survive # Hey, hey (ALL HUM THE TUNE) Come on! # It took all the strength I had not to fall apart # Kept trying hard to mend the pieces of my broken heart # And I spent, oh, so many nights just feeling sorry for myself # I used to cry But now I hold my head up high # And you see me, somebody new... # Franklin. (Oh, shit!) I want you to know that if anything like this bar fight happens again, there will be no place on the football team for any of you! Do I make myself perfectly clear? (ALL) Yes, sir. And just for the record,... ..I'd have loved to have seen Martel get his ass kicked. (CHEERING) Let's get outta here! * Hey, Shane. Hey! What are you doing? My job. (CHUCKLES) You're a professional football player. Sure, this week. When that's all over, you know, I'll, er, I'll be back here. I,... I don't wanna lose my customers. I was on my way to work, I thought maybe you might need a ride? Oh, I'm good. I, er, I got my truck back. How is it? Oh! Flatter. But it... runs. (LAUGHS) And you, how are you running after last night? You heard about that? Yeah, I think the whole town heard about that. Is that from the game or from the fight? Oh, I'm not sure. It's all kind of blurred into one big beating. Huh! The good news is, you guys got into a rhythm out there. Apart from that, er, vomiting thing, which was on Sports Centre. Oh God! But after that, the team was really clicking. Yeah, it was, er, starting to come together. Yeah. I, er, - You wanna sit down? No, I-I should go. Thanks for coming by. Yeah. Wow! Ow! What? Oh, ow! Jesus! Oh, it looks worse than it feels. Oh, it looks like hell. Oh, then it looks exactly like it feels. Oh, here, I've, er,... Wild yam? Yeah. (LAUGHS) Don't laugh, it works. It's great for sore muscles and bruises and... I use it all the time. Oh, you don't have to do that. You're gonna put it on? You can barely move. OK, this is gonna be a little bit... Cold! Sorry, sorry. Oh, here, your shoulders. (GRUNTS) Better? Better. (CHUCKLES) (EXHALES) Um, you're the first player I can remember who seems to care more about his teammates than he does himself. And that's something this team's been missing for a really long time. It's a good thing you did last night. It was just stupid. Thanks. I'm gonna be late for work. You have practice? No, actually, work. Er, we only make 50 bucks a game, so... Gotta pay the bills, right? Mac's, down on A Street. Come in, I'll, I'll buy you a beer. All right, I'll do that. OK. Keep putting that yam on. Guys. You gotta be kiddin'. Come on, I didn't park in your space. No, no, no. Ah! But unfortunately, you did park in Lamont's space. Heh! He's not nearly as lenient as I am. On three, fellas. One, two, three! (LAUGHTER) We got this. We got this. Um, y'all wanna put the car back? This is none of your business. Shane's our business. We're the guards, and we protect our quarterback. (ALL LAUGH) (This is funny to them bozos.) You got jokes? You got jokes? That's your ride right there, ain't it? (LAUGHS) Yeah. That's my windshield, you crazy mother - Now put the car back! You son of a bitch! Son of a...? Oh, son of a bitch. Oh, I'm a son of a bitch? Son of a bitch? Hey, man! Stop, stop, stop! All right, come on, goddamn it, help me! You're gonna pay for this! No, I'm not. And stop messing with my man, that includes his ride. And wax that motherfucker. Give it a tune-up, too. Ready to go to practice, Shane? (LAUGHS) Yeah, let's do that, yeah. How's that arm? Good. Yeah? What's that smell? Wild yam. Hm. That's nice. You like that? Yeah, man. All right, Shane? Thanks. And so, boys and girls, if anybody does have any firearms, you need to turn those in as soon possible. No questions asked now. (CHUCKLES) Understood? (SNORES) All right. OK, Coach, it's all yours. Last Sunday, I saw a team on the field play as hard as they could to win a football game. We lost. Not because of effort or desire, but because of lack of leadership and trust. One of those has been resolved. But leadership means nothing if a team doesn't believe in each other. Players spend years together before they develop trust. I'm asking you to do it in a week. Not a reasonable request, but... ..these aren't reasonable times. I know you all have concerns about this Sunday. But a real man... ..admits his fears. That's what I'm asking you to do here tonight. Who wants to start? Fears, let's talk about them. Fears, fears. A-hem! Um,... A-hem! I, er, I, I'm scared of spiders, Coach. (LAUGHTER) That's not what I meant. Me, too. I'm afraid of spiders, too. Yeah! Goddamn spiders freak me, too, fellas. (LAUGHTER) Well, I didn't mean that. What I'm talking about` Ever get one of those spiders crawlin' up your arm? Crawlin' on you, man? Damn! Oh, thanks, Jumbo. You can just rock me sleep tonight. (LAUGHTER) OK, that's great, but I'm talking about what scares us on the field. Like spiders on the field? (LAUGHTER) Can we get beyond spiders, please? Bees? (ALL) Bees? Bees. Oh, bees! Anybody here afraid of anything other than insects? Huh? Come on! Quicksand. Oh, shit, yeah! Hey, quicksand's a scary mother, man. It sucks you right in and if you scream... All right, all right. I don't think that's what Shane had in mind. Huh? That's not what he had in mind. What's he talkin' about, then? Why don't you ask him? Hey, what's up, Shane? You're playing, and you think everything is going fine, but then one thing goes wrong. And another. And another. And you try to fight back, but the harder you fight, the deeper you sink. Until you can't move. You can't breathe. Because you're in over your head. Like quicksand. (MURMURS OF AGREEMENT) All right. That's some deep shit, Shane. Some deep shit. Anything else you're afraid of? Going back to the minimart. The shipping yard. The auto plant. Prison. (LOW CHATTER) Yeah, all right. The truth is, you guys have been given something that every athlete dreams of. A second chance. And you're afraid of blowin' it. We all are. But now our fear is shared, and we can overcome it together. Let's lose that fear this Sunday and put it into San Diego! Yeah! Come on! (GRUNTING THROUGHOUT SCENE) There's another vicious hit by the All Pro Hank Morris. That's his third of the game. It's just me, dickhead! I tell you, he is really putting a hurt on Falco. I'm not sure how much more of this abuse he can take. Huddle up! Huddle up! Come on, man, let's go! Same play, except let Morris by. Nobody touch him. (ALL) What?! Shane! It's 60-0 already. Let him through! On two, on two. Ready? Get some penetration, Morris, penetration! Blue 80! Hut, hut! (CHEERING) Now that is a hit! Holy shit! Haul ass, round boy! Follow me! Follow me! Oh, shit! Go! Oh, shit! Oh, oh, oh, shit! Oh, oh, oh! Go! Jump on his back! Here it goes! Jump on his back! Jump on his back! Fumiko scores! Fumiko scored! Hey, I love to see a fat guy score! Why? Because, look, you get a fat guy spike, and then you get a fat guy dance. (CHEERING) Pork rice! Yes! I don't remember that from the play book. Yeah. Maybe we should put it in. Kick off! * That's one whole year of cartels, magic, and the Upside Down. MAN: Look around. As the Favourites come out, it begins. Observing with an eagle eye. Mastering the art of stashing. Oh, brilliant move, Gran! Cadbury Favourites. * (WILD CHEERING) # "Bad Girls" - Donna Summer (CHEERING) So, Annabelle, what do you, like, think of our friends? (GIGGLES) I think... they're friendly. I know! Aren't they? Yeah. (CHEERING) Oh, man! We'll stretch 'em, we'll stretch 'em here. Green 95! Green... Green... ..95! What the hell...? Stop the ball! Get the ball off! Watch the play clock! Stop the ball! Stop the ball! Hut! Stop the ball! (WHISTLE SOUNDS / LAUGHTER) False start. On the offence. Number 72, number 77, number 60, number 61, number 87 and number 53. Yeah! Five yards. Still first down. That's bullshit! The one girl slapped the other girl on the ass! You're killin' me! Wanna see mine? That good enough for you? # "Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)" - C and C Music Factory Here we go! Don't throw it! No! No! No! Damn it! They did it again! Ray Smith with the interception. (CHEERING) First down, Washington! Forward! You are killing me! Defence, get out there! Let's go! Stop them from shaking their ass for two minutes! 98, shake. 98, shake. (SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT) Green 99! Hut! (SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT) (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Not bad, Falco. Yeah! Whoo! Touchdown, Brian Murphy. (WILD CHEERING) Well, everybody in the stadium knows that an onside kick is coming with 55 seconds left on the clock. Now, with just 55 seconds left, Washington has to recover the ball, call a time out real fast so that Gruff will have a shot at a field goal. (YELLING) Big old Bateman ends up with the ball. He's gonna...! Danny, go down! And no-one's gonna tackle him! He's reversing his field! He's forgot the clock's running. He's trying to run out the clock! Danny, go down! You're using up the clock, Danny! You won't see that every day. Time out! Time out! Don't worry about that. Nice hit, Shane, nice hit! What do you think? We got time for one play. We don't stop the clock, it's over. Give me a chance, boss, I'm bored. You're looking at a 65-yard field goal here, Nigel. You just hold it, Shane, and I'll kick the bloody piss out of it. What the hell! What the hell. Field goal! (CHEERING) McGinty's gonna let Gruff try this field goal from 65 yards out! I don't know if he has enough leg. I think he's smoking on the field. Smoking? I'm sure you imagined that. Oh, no, I saw it! I saw the smoke and everything. (YELLING) Hey, Vito, look who's on TV! Bingo! Wants to keep his pub, he's gonna start blowing kicks! I'm telling you, that's him. (CHEERING) It's straight enough. It's got the distance. It has the distance! It's good! (WILD CHEERING) Washington wins! The 65-yard field goal attempt is good by Nigel Gruff. (WILD CHEERING) Final score, Washington 17, San Diego 16. (JUBILATION) Yeah! Ha-ha-ha! You the man! You the man! Oh, bollocks! You the man! You the man! Come here! (YELLS) Ah, sorry, mate! Ooo! Sorry, 'scuse me! All right! Good game! We snuck by on that one. I'll take it. All right. I'll take it! Congrats! What d'you think about the new team? It's great! These guys are like us. This strike ain't about guys like me, it's about superstars who want $8,000,000,000 instead of seven. To hell with them. This is the most fun in football I've had in years. Go, Falco! (BOTH) Yeah! All right, let's go. Hey! Let's go, baby, let's go! I love you, Annabelle. I know you do, Alan. We're closed! Oh, hey! No, you can come in. Come on in, buddy! You go. Out, out, out, out! You're Shane Falco. Way to go, Falco, you guys kick ass! Thanks. Out! Way to go. All right, see you. Bye! Take care. (Hi.) Sure it's OK? I, er, I don't wanna get you in trouble with your boss. Oh, no, she, she won't mind. Come on in. You want a beer? Sure. So... we were so tight. We had so much fun in here. Since I was five years old, I been sittin' on those stools. And then after he died,... I took over. Oops! Is that you and him? Er, yeah. He was the biggest Washington fan you have ever seen. Other kids were getting bedtime stories, I got football stories. He used to talk all the time about the glory days of... thank you, football. Said how they were... gone forever. I wish he was here to see you guys play. (SIGHS) I don't know about that. Oh, I do. Good game today. Thanks. It's late. Yeah. Yeah. Us babies need our rest. (LAUGHS) Yeah, you do! I'm sorry about that. I just... Between the guys on the field and the... ..guys in the bar, gotta keep your guard up. Yeah, I imagine. Yeah. You coming to the game on Sunday? Nah. We don't travel with the team. (SIGHS) Well, can I, can I, can I see you when I get back? Sure. Hm! Goodnight, Annabelle. Goodnight. 'What do you do here, John? You go for it, Pat, you have to.' 'But Falco's been shut down by this defence all afternoon.' 'Yeah, but I'll tell you this,' 'all it takes is one big play to get him back in the ball game.' '(CROWD ROARS)' 'And here goes Falco.' '(CHANTING) Falco! Falco!' 'Falco scores! Falco scores!' Yeah! * Here's Falco, and he's gonna try and reverse pivot and turn and pitch out here. But in doing so, his left guard, Andre Jackson, is going to pull, and Falco is going to hit him with the ball right in the back. Then it's gonna flop around the ground, here comes Cochran, he's gonna come across, he'll kick it, Franklin'll pick it up. Franklin's gonna get hit right here. Pap! The ball's gonna go flying into the air, Falco's gonna pick it up. The guy who started the play, Falco, is going to end up with it in the end zone for touchdown! Welcome to strike football. And the fabulous Falco making way next week against Dallas. He'll do something Washington hasn't done in over seven years, get to the play-offs. Come on! (INDISTINCT TANNOY) Shit, Franklin! Call time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out! Time out, Washington. Franklin, come here, come here, come here. Come on, come on! I thought I had it, then - Shut up! Gimme the stick. Right here. Think it'll work? Ain't it illegal? They gonna put you in jail? Now, you know this don't look natural. Don't talk! Run the same play, you're gonna catch the ball. I look like I just jacked off an elephant! Hey, say you understand! I understand. OK. Now go out there and catch the ball for a change! All right. All right! Come on, let's go! (SHOUTING / APPLAUSE) The damn cup is stuck! Need some time on this one. Got it. Here we go. Same play. Pro right, switch, ninth. Franklin? Franklin! Franklin! I can't get the damn cup off! You can do this. OK. It's one on one. Ready? # "Unbelievable" - EMF Ready? Blue 89! Blue 89! Hut! Franklin catches the ball! Who would have thought? He never catches a ball! But he caught the ball! That makes the score 21 to 20. Now, conventional wisdom says kick the extra point, tie the game and go into overtime. Especially with the play-offs on the line. But Jimmy McGinty is anything but a conventional guy, Pat. And McGinty says go for it. Let's go for the win! (ALL) Yeah! I need a receiver! 422 wide cross, OK? We gotta have it, gotta have it! Ready? Ready? Hut! This kind of situation has not been Falco's strong point in the past. Falco rolls to his left and throws... ..right into the defender's hands. He drops it right into the unsure hands of Clifford Franklin! Washington wins! What a lucky break for Shane Falco, who threw a bad pass that could've blown the game for Washington. # "Get Ready For This" - Countdown Mix Masters Phoenix 21, Washington 22. Get over it, All right? It's a win. Better lucky than good? Right. Right. # Ole, ole, ole, ole # (ALL CHEER) Shane Falco. Great game out there today. Thanks. To what do you attribute this team's sudden rise over the past few weeks? You know, you should talk to Franklin here. He's the hero today. Clifford Franklin! Terrific day today. Yeah, today was a good day for Clifford Franklin. Clifford Franklin can't wait till tomorrow, cos Clifford Franklin gets better looking every day. (LAUGHS) We're just beginnin' to scratch the surface to the talents of Clifford Franklin. Clifford Franklin has moves Clifford Franklin ain't seen. Ah, right. You showed us a few moves against Phoenix, but it could be a different story against Dallas. That's the same story, different chapter! You see, the football is like a one-man cold to Clifford Franklin. Clifford Franklin's the only one catching it and coming down with it. (LAUGHS) # Ole, ole, ole, ole # Wa-hey! Cheers, babes. I think we got it. To victory! Ha-ha! It's good, isn't it, Jimmy? One game away from the play-offs and the hunt. That's ring's so close, you can almost feel it on your finger. What are you up to? What, I can't get excited about the future of my team? Huh? (LAUGHS) OK, OK, I got some great news. Martel and Carr have crossed the picket line. Ha-ha! With the deal I made them swallow, I can't afford not to take 'em back. No. No what? I'm sticking with Falco. Jimmy, come on. Here, have you read the newspaper? The entire Dallas team has crossed the picket line. Thanksgiving night, we play the world champions. We have a deal. No interference with my coaching. As long as the strike is on, Shane Falco is my quarterback. We have to beat Dallas to get into the play-offs. Falco can't do that. You saw what happened yesterday. Oh, Jesus Christ! Do you think he's gonna have that luck against Dallas, too? They'll murder him! He's just getting his game back! He falls apart when the game is on the line! That's been his rap ever since the Sugar Bowl! There are 21 other guys who put their faith in you to lead them. They'd be heartbroken if you abandon them before the biggest game of their lives. (LAUGHS) You really are a son of a bitch, you know that? What are you doing here? I don't wanna make the same mistake I did in Phoenix. Look, kid - We might end up in that situation with Dallas. They like to send in their safeties. Put the pressure on. Shane? Yeah, Coach? It's over. Martel crossed. Oh. I'm sorry. (EXHALES) "Chokes with the game on the line", is that what O'Neil said? (EXHALES) It's OK. It's better for the team, right? I mean, Martel,... he is the best. The guy's got it all. No. He doesn't have heart. You do. It's been a privilege. Thanks for believing. You give 'em hell on Thursday. Hey. Hey. I-I, I just wanted to tell you before left... ..that I'm sorry. Thanks. No, really. I mean, I think it's,... ..I think it's terrible what they do to you guys. They make you believe you're better than you really are, and then they just pull the rug right out from under you. The cruellest thing that they can give guys like you, Shane, is hope. (SIGHS) You're a real class act, Martel. A real class act. She deserves better. You're a sinking ship, Shane. Don't drag her down with you. Take care of my guys, huh? VOICEOVER: Domino's is the official pizza of summer, and now with our new Garlic Bread Crust, it's even tastier. Oozing with garlic and herb butter, it's delicious to the last bite. Add it for just $3.99 extra at Domino's. * Come on, boys, let's go! Hey! Hey, hey, hey! Aw! Nothing but water left in here, let's go. It's early! I... have a date. But I love you, Annabelle. I know you do, Alan, I know. Bye, you guys, be careful! # "If Everybody Looked The Same" - Groove Armada Ah! # Ole, ole, ole, ole # Ole, ole # Ole, ole, ole, ole Right, have a look at this! (LAUGHTER) There he is! Ladies and gentlemen, number sixteen in your programmes, number one in your hearts! Shane Falco! (CHANTING) Falco! Falco! Cheers, mate. God bless you. Cheers. Cheers. Eurgh! Ho-ho! Hey, are you all right? I'm done, Nigel. What? Martel crossed. Bloody hell! When are you gonna tell the guys? I don't know. I don't want to ruin - No, no, wait. Nige? Cut that music! Cut it! Turn the music off! Cut it! Cut it! Shane's got something to tell you. I've got good news. Thursday, you'll play with the best quarterback in the league. Damn right! (CHEERING) Martel. He crossed. Martel crossed. So, er,... ..while you guys are getting pounded by Dallas,... Just kidding. ..I'm gonna be drinking beer on my boat. Kicking back. Sentinels, raise your glasses! This is to Shane Falco. He's our quarterback, he's our leader, but most of all, he's our friend. This is for you, man. To Falco! (ALL) To Falco! Thanks. Thanks. It's been fun. # "Blinded By Rainbows" - The Rolling Stones Welcome back to Nextel Stadium in our nation's capital. I'm Pat Summerall, and with me, as always, is John Madden. It appears that the strike is coming to a close. Martel will resume the starting quarterback position tonight. But I gotta admit, I was looking forward to seeing what Falco could do with one more game. He made amazing progress the past few weeks under the tutelage of head coach Jimmy McGinty. He really did. But tonight, it'll be Martel leading Washington against Dallas. # "We Will Rock You" - Queen I never thought I'd say this, but I'm gonna kind of miss those replacement games. (CHANTING) Bring back Falco! Ladies and gentlemen, leading the Washington Sentinels today, welcome back number 7, Eddie Martel! (BOOING) Go, boys! Go, go, go, go, go! Red, 21! Red, 21! Hut! Come on, Martel. Get moving, get moving! Maybe you should try scrambling. Oh, yeah, that's brilliant. How about a quick kick(?) (INDISTINCT TANNOY) Red, 38! (Psst! Hey, Butler?) Oops! Butler? Red, 38! Hey, man. If it ain't too much trouble, I'd love to get your autograph after the game. You want it, you got it, scab! All right. Hut! (CHEERING) They rumble the ball, Dallas recovers. First down and goal on the two-yard line. Hawk nine, stay! Bateman! Hawk nine, stay! Hawk nine, stay! All right! Aw! Touchdown, Dallas! They're quittin' on you, they're quittin' on you! (YELLING) 41! 41! Hut! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) (BOOING) Pass intended for Brian Murphy incomplete. Pro right, you're going left! Right, right, right, right, right. You went left, I want you to go right! No, no, no, right, right! Go right, you idiot! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Easy! Calm down, man! Brian Murphy fumbled the ball, Dallas recovered. (WHOOPING) Nice hands! Three two magic, rack zero. What the hell was that about? (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Touchdown Dallas. Gruff, wake up, OK? (WHISTLE SOUNDS / BOOING) Well, what the...? Pass incomplete by Eddie Martel. (BOOING) What the hell was that? Hey, I'm talking to you! I call the players out, not you. That's not the way I coach! I don't give a shit, cos that's the way I play. That's the end of the first half, with the score, Dallas 17, Washington 0. Coach McGinty! What will Washington need to get back into this ball game? Heart. I-I'm sorry? You gotta have heart. Can you elaborate on that? Miles and miles of heart. Well,... there you have it, in a word, from Coach McGinty, Washington will need heart to get back into this` I ran it just like you said. You just underthrew me! This isn't a track meet, you have to look for the ball! You` Hey, hey! I'll pull you off the field, you spoiled little punk. Who do you think O'Neil's gonna side with, huh? Some burnt-out old coach or someone who puts fans in the stands? You son of a bitch! Come on! What you thinking about? We got a game to play! Nobody could win with these losers! I can. Falco, great to see you. Now get the hell out of my locker room! Coach? What the hell took you so long? Traffic. Suit up! (APPLAUSE) What?! What?! O'Neil will fire your ass! Won't be the first time! This is shit! I'm gonna put an end this right now! Come and get some! You big fairy. (LAUGHS) This doesn't change anything. I'm an All Pro quarterback, I got two Super Bowl rings! And you'll never be more than a replacement player. Yeah. Yeah, I can live with that. All right! Let's go! My brothers, will somebody please get this asshole out of here? Ooo! Hey! Hey! Hey, come on, get your hands off me! Hey! Hey! Come on, guys, leave me alone! Jimmy McGinty is anything but a conventional guy. And McGinty says, with the play-offs on the line, go for it, get to the play-offs. Something Washington has not done against Dallas in over seven years. # "Rock and Roll Part 2" - Gary Glitter (RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE) Falco? What the hell is he up to? Look, Pat, here comes Falco! Falco's back! What happened to Martel? I don't know, but the way Falco's running and the look he has in his eye, he thinks he's gonna play. I'm sorry. They're playing zone out there, and I think you can pick them apart if you just keep your eyes open - Hey! He seems to be necking with a cheerleader! That's what he's doin'! Players are not supposed to be fraternising with cheerleaders. Yeah, but what are they gonna do, Pat, fire him? You give me strength. You're late for work. Kick ass, Falco! (WHOOPING) What's all the celebrating about here? We're down 17 to 0! Falco, it's nasty out there. That's why girls don't play the game. All right. Listen up. This time tomorrow, the strike will be officially over. Now, Dallas has made a big mistake tonight. They weren't afraid of you. They should be, because you have a powerful weapon. There is no tomorrow for you. And that makes you all very dangerous people! (ALL) Yeah! (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Kick ass on one. Ready? (ALL) Ready! Clifford Franklin is lookin' for a new home. Ready for some pain? Bring it on. Oh, yeah, it's comin'! It's comin'! See him coming in motion? Look at that. I've never seen anything like this! Unbelievable! There's at least five, six flags out there. There's hats, everything! This is what you call an old-fashioned melee! Unnecessary roughness, number 16 and number 34, 15 yards. So that's, er, wait, 45, er, no, 30, er, er, er, 40, er, er, er, how, how many yards so far? Who do they think they're playin'?! (DISGRUNTLED CHATTER) (INDISTINCT YELLING) Let's go, come on! Yah! (WILD CHEERING) Oh, my knee! Oh! My knee! (GROANS) I think I broke it! It's my knee, man, I think I broke it, I think I broke it. Oh, God! Hoo! Did I do it? Did I score? Yeah, you did it. God, it hurts! God, it hurts! God! I'm sorry. Oh, don't be sorry, man. Goin' out in front of 80,000 people ain't bad! You finish what you started, Shane. * White, 44, hut! Yes! Yes! All right! Hold tight, baby, hold tight! Blue, 15! Hut, hut! (CHEERING) (CHEERING) (WHISTLE SOUNDS) Touchdown Washington. Good job. I got skills, baby. You feel like running the ball? You better give it to Wilkinson. He's going to jail! I'll clear the way. I'm right behind you. All right. We need it, we need it! Sweet! A gain of 20 yards by Ray Smith. First down. (CHANTING) Falco! Falco! I know you're tired, I know you're hurtin'. I wish I could say somethin' classy and inspirational, but that wouldn't be our style. Pain heals. Chicks dig scars. Glory... lasts forever. Right on, Shane. Right on, baby. Right on! Shotgun, DC right. Flip 90, dig, on the centre, on the centre. Ready? (ALL) Hut! (WHOOPING) Gold, hut! We're looking at a different team in the second half. Absolutely. Washington is playing like there's no tomorrow, because, hey, there isn't. Touchdown, baby! Son of a bitch! Ha-ha-ha! Odd bullets, blitz coverage! I got him, I got him! Coming in again! Go in there! Bateman comes up with a big stop on third and one, and that forces a Dallas pun. With 28 seconds remaining now, Washington needs a decent return here in order to give Gruff a shot to tie the game. (WHISTLE SOUNDS / CHEERING) And with 12 seconds remaining... It's yours, Nigel, all the way. ..to send this game into overtime. 22 yards is a chip shot for Gruff. (CROWD SING) # Ole, ole, ole, ole # Ole, ole # Ole, ole, ole, ole # Ole, ole... Nigel? Nigel, you all right? I'm sorry. I had the money, but I pissed it away down the track. What?! What are you talking about? They're gonna take my pub away from me. It's all I got, Shane! Come on, Shane! # Ole, ole, ole, ole... # It's a fake! Falco still has it! He's running with it! Touchdown Falco! Shane Falco! (WILD CHEERING) Holding! Number 68 on the offence. 10-yard penalty. Repeat first down. Terrible call! Open your eyes! Time out! Time out! Oh, no, no touchdown! Washington have fought back. You OK? I broke my arm. Cheers, Shane, you saved my ass. Take care. Someday you'll have to explain to me what the hell that was all about. What's it gonna be, Shane? I want the ball. Winners always do. Spread formation. All right! Damn! I'm sorry, Shane. I'm sorry, everybody. No problem. Just rip someone's head off on this one. Consider it done! All right. So, besides me, who really wants the ball? Yeah, you want it, Brian. Let's hook up. DC left, one motion, 88 warrior. Gentlemen,... it's been an honour to share the field of battle with you. Ready? (ALL) Ready! (CHEERING) We ain't losin' this game. Green 86! Green 86! (CHEERING) Go! (RAPTUROUS APPLAUSE) Yes! Touchdown Brian Murphy! Oh, I knew it! I knew it all along! Oh, you beautiful son of a bitch! I knew you could do it! Final score, Washington 20, Dallas 17! Washington goes to the play-offs! # "Heroes" - Marc Bonilla and Font 48 Ye-e-e-e-e-e-es! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! You did it! You did it! Yeah! Yeah! (JUBILANT YELLING) When the replacement players for the Washington Sentinels left the stadium that day, there was no ticker tape parade, no endorsement deals for sneakers or soda pop or breakfast cereal. Just a locker to be cleaned out and a ride home to catch. But what they didn't know was that their lives would be changed forever. Because they had been part of something great. And greatness, no matter how brief, stays with a man. Every athlete dreams of a second chance. These men lived it. # "I Will Survive" - Gloria Gaynor Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019