# Hallelujah # Gloriana # Hallelujah # Gloriana, hallelujah # Hallelujah! # (PENSIVE MUSIC) (OFFICER SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY) Present arms! Freedom for Ireland! (SCREAMS) Mama! BERTIE: It's a man. (GASPS) Vicky! ABIGAIL: Your Majesty. Skerrett. Yes, I sent for you. Skerrett. No, not Skerrett. Oh, forgive me, Turner. I've, um... ..had a bit of a shock. Yes, ma'am. How can I be of service? See if you could salvage my hair. The children witnessed nothing of the attack, thank God. But they did see the man on the ground. The police say he was Irish. Big surprise (!) What do you mean? What's the significance of his being Irish? We have striven very hard to resolve the terrible situation in Ireland. The undersecretary told me himself. The Irish incident is now closed. - (SCOFFS) He would. - Turner. Are you saying my undersecretary was lying? No! Truly, ma'am, I have no opinion. Really? 'Cause you seem to have an opinion on everything else. The hunger for food may have gone away, ma'am, but the hunger for independence has only increased. That is what the Irish say when you talk to them. I should have been with you. Papa! Today we had a man try to kill us! BERTIE: I keep telling you, he couldn't of. He had no bullets in his gun. ALBERT: Couldn't have, Bertie. Couldn't have. Papa is here. All shall be well. I hope it's not inconvenient, but Mr Caine is here. Caine? Ah, yes, yes. Bertie, you are to have your own tutor. - You did agree. - I agreed in principle. I did not agree to appointing someone without consulting me. I met the man at Cambridge. I think you shall warm to him. Ah, Mr Caine. VICTORIA: Mr Caine. Your Majesty. I trust your name does not presage your preferred method. (CHUCKLES) I had enough flogging at Eton, ma'am, to last several lifetimes. It is not my teaching style. I think we should go to Ireland. For what... ..possible reason? No British monarch has set foot in Ireland since the Middle Ages. It speaks of lack of interest. Or fear, perhaps. I shan't be accused of either. You think I've lost my mind. RUSSELL: No, ma'am. You are intrepid. But it would be negligent not to remark that Ireland is a Catholic country. The famine is enshrined in the culture as a crime perpetrated by British Protestants, the church of which you are the head, ma'am. The excursion could involve some danger. The Foreign Secretary will ensure we don't come to any harm. He has a house there in Sligo. Is that not so, my lord? Where he keeps his wife. So he knows the territory and he can finesse our progress accordingly. PALMERSTON: It would be an honour, ma'am, and we shall of course accommodate you at Classiebawn Castle. Surely it is not necessary for you to extend to us your hospitality. Well, my wife will be cranky if I don't. She'll be cranky because you keep her squirrelled away in the country. There's no squirrelling of Emily, ma'am. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) So? Ireland it is. I'm sure the moment she steps on Irish soil she will conquer Irish hearts. Doubtless Palmerston encouraged her in this. Since the birth of Louise... ..her ability to distinguish good advice from bad... That was impertinent of me. Forgive me. Perhaps childbirth can cloud her judgement, but... ..that is not something I wish to say to her. Nor think about. That is because you love her, Albert. So commendable. Look and learn. (MAN SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) VICTORIA: The Duchess looks wretched. What is wrong? Do you know? I think there is presently some...antipathy between Sophie and her husband. I knew it. It's because I dragged her off to Osborne without him. Well, he must come to Ireland. I shall insist on it. CAINE: Your Majesty. Your Royal Highness. Papa. Pick a card. Pick a card? Very well. - 9. - Pick another. The queen. The queen counts as 12. 9 multiplied by 12 equals... ..108. Mr Caine, that is remarkable! CAINE: I take no credit, sir. Bertie told me how you taught him the alphabet. I merely improvised upon your theme. The true achievement is his. Well, even so. It is remarkable. Bertie, you must remain here with Mr Caine to continue your studies whilst Mama and I are in Ireland. Your brother and sisters will remain here also. Aunt Feodora will be here to care for you all. Duchess. I have good news. (STIRRING MUSIC) Allow me, my dear. BERTIE: Goodbye, Mama! Goodbye, Papa! Come back soon! (TAPS ON CARRIAGE) Hey, hey, hey. What do you think of my new accessories? I prefer roof racks. Get $1000 of vehicle accessories when you purchase any new Toyota SUV. Plus, get all on-road costs covered with Toyota's drive-away prices. * Present arms! Your Majesty, ma'am. You're most welcome to County Cork. It is splendid to be here. (DRUMMERS PLAY) (BAND PLAYS 'FOR HE'S A JOLLY GOOD FELLOW) (PEOPLE CHEER) MAN: Go back to where you came from! POLICEMAN: That's enough now! MAN: This is our land! This is Ireland! (CLEARS THROAT NERVOUSLY) Ma'am, may I presume to ride with you? It would enable me to point out sundry items of interest. VICTORIA: Mmm. (STIRRING MUSIC) Have you been in the public houses, Palmerston, securing local enthusiasm? Sir, that's an extraordinary suggestion. Do you seriously envisage me in a public house? This is our land, not yours! Not yours! This is our land! Clearly one I missed. The Queen took it into her head to insist upon him coming. I know. She told me. And what could I do - tell her she was wrong? My position at the court is all I have, Emma. I cannot forfeit it by disagreeing with her. (LORD ALFRED MOANS SOFTLY) Excuse me, ladies. What have I missed? We were talking about Emily Palmerston. Does she resemble her brother? She is a little like Lord Melbourne, yes. It's been a while since I saw her. She was a great force in London when she was married to Lord Cowper. He died and now she prefers Ireland. Much to the chagrin of Lord Palmerston. He pines for her, apparently. (INHALES SHARPLY) (PENSIVE MUSIC) VICTORIA: This is your park, Lord Palmerston? Unkempt, ma'am, but much loved. Come. - Is Her Ladyship at home? - Who wants to know? Her husband. Your husband, madam. Your Majesty, please may I introduce Lady Palmerston. PENGE: Reverend Hannam, ma'am. FEODORA: Whatever can I do for you, sir? I am a humble parson, ma'am, who seeks a preferment in the church. Specifically, the deanship of Ely. I repeat the question. You are, by repute, a lady of the greatest influence, ma'am. I entreat you to endorse my cause. (CHUCKLES) You are asking me to help secure the whatever-it-is of Ely? I am indeed, ma'am. For any assistance you can give me, I should be... ..excessively grateful. So you agree with Schopenhauer? Do I? That's very clever of me. I've never heard of him. He says women lack intelligence by design. MONMOUTH: God, yes. Consider the Duchess. Only got to look at her to see that she's ill-adapted to cogent thought. - Duke, you are ungallant. - That don't make me wrong. No, it makes you a boor. O-R-E or O-O-R? Both. Either. O-A-R, perhaps. (LAUGHS AND SNORTS) (SQUEALS AND SNORTS) (MONMOUTH LAUGHS) Excuse me for saying it, ma'am, but I think it brave of you to come to this country. The Irish are not entirely predictable in their emotions, but I hear they were out for you today en masse. Oh! Well, not really large gatherings, but, yes, very enthusiastic. My husband was not wholly convinced by what we saw, though we saw the same thing. Well, I saw what we were shown, which is a people who have recently been ravaged by famine, who have every reason to hate us, cheering as our carriage went past. You reproach the Irish for being friendly? Will the smiles extend to Dublin? We shall see. Is the Duke of Monmouth prone to perform like a wild pig? PALMERSTON: To be frank, ma'am, yes, he is. And how am I to perform in Dublin? Your task is to make the Catholic many know that they belong to the same United Kingdom as the Protestant few, regardless of allegiance to church - a performance Your Majesty is eminently capable of. Will they bray in my face? Tell me this country is not mine? I should doubt that, ma'am. How very subjunctive of you. The daughter from Lady Palmerston's first marriage. It's curious, but she looks exactly like Lord Palmerston. Do you endeavour to inform me with your silence that she is, in fact, his child? That is the general view, sir. Conceived while the mother was still married to Lord Cowper. Dear God, we are among barbarians. Listen close, Your Grace. You can hear those waves. Monmouth! Monmouth is vile, but he always was. That poor girl. One does feel sorry for her. - Is that all one feels? - Oh, Emily! That's beneath you. Just as long as she isn't beneath you. You have my word. (COUGHS) (GASPS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) ALBERT: Hello? Is anybody there? A village without people. Where are all of the tenants, Alfred? What has Palmerston done with them? VOICEOVER: Hey, Auckland, which of the Youi 40 ways to save would work best for where you live? Grey Lynn, close to the city, is where Ava lives, so number 1 of 40 - "Don't drive to work" - could be best for her. Do a car insurance quote at youi.co.nz. * What is this? It's a light wine suitable for breakfast. You don't care for it? (FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) Ah! I'm sure Mr Caine would drink it. Your Serene Highness. Come, Bertie. Back to work. On to mathematics now, Bertie. Do you like Mr Caine, Aunt Feodora? He is a domestic servant. It's not a meaningful question. Brodie. Do you like Mr Caine? Not a great deal, no. (LIGHT, AIRY MUSIC) VICTORIA: This is a delightful house. EMILY: Thank you, ma'am. I agree. It's why I choose to spend most of my time here. And yet Lord Palmerston is always to be found in London? He is a minister of government, ma'am. It could not be otherwise. Is it not painful to be separated for such long intervals? Immensely, ma'am, but it is the rhythm of our marriage. A cycle of sad partings and joyous reunitings. Besides, I have my bees. Lord Palmerston has no bees. No, ma'am. He has his collection. (LAUGHS) I see. What does he collect? Other women. When Henry is away from me and he is desirous of that which men most desire, he places his boots outside his bedroom door. It signifies his availability. Then, when he comes home, he tells me whether or not his invitation was taken up and by whom. (WHISPERS) He tells you?! He tells me everything. And...do you... ..as it were, when he is away... Place my boots outside my door? On occasion, ma'am, I have. As I observe to Henry, there is only so much satisfaction to be got from the keeping of bees. There is honey, ma'am, and there is honey. I do find the Palmerstons' marriage extraordinary. In certain ways, it's... ..it's quite like ours. Not in others. (SIGHS) And what is the matter with you? The matter is not with me, Victoria. The matter is with Palmerston himself. The man is mendacious and I despise him for it. - Lunch. - I'm not hungry. Victoria, he has been having liaisons. He has. (WHISPERS) So has she. She told me. It is a marriage without secrets. Everything here... ..is a lie concocted by Palmerston. He also, I believe, based on evidence I uncovered today, has been treating his tenants deplorably. I know nothing about that. Liebes, please. Come down with me. A show of unity? How, in your eyes, does that make us any less false than our hosts? Will you walk with me, Your Grace? VICTORIA: Where are we going, Albert? ALBERT: There is something you need to see. My Tess... See, she'd have covered that in about five seconds. My mare. Used to ride her on the sands at Bamburgh. - What? - (LAUGHS) I'm imagining you on a horse. - You can be poor and have a horse. - That's not what I meant. (SOPHIE CHUCKLES) I could do it on foot in...10. - From where to where? - From here to there. - The boat. - So could I. (BOTH LAUGH HAPPILY) (SPITS SAND) (SIGHS) You and me, you know... We're the same. We both have no power. But I tell you this for free. It won't always be that way. Where's he been sent to school? Your son. All Monmouths go to Harrow. My son's going to Eton. You have a son? No. (LAUGHS) But that's where he's going. I should like you to kiss me. I offer you love, Sophie. Nothing less. (ROMANTIC MUSIC) Kiss me. - (GUNSHOT) - (HORSE WHINNIES) Victoria! Ho, ho! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Good man. Easy, easy. Easy. So sorry to have frightened you. What in God's name are you doing, man? Firing guns? It's my job, sir. I'm Lord Palmerston's gamekeeper. The name's Magee. There's never anybody here but rabbits, me and the ghosts. - What ghosts? - The villagers were cleared out. His Lordship's a fair man, but he's no different from the rest of the gentry when it comes to the folks. In comes the famine, out go the peasants. The gentry's all English. They don't want to talk to starving tenants. They call them 'dirty papists'. I travel to Dublin, Mr Magee, expressly to address that disharmony. Huh! Do you so? I'm sure you'll love Dublin. It's a great city. Late breakfast, Duchess? I went for a walk. Yes, I know. Forgive me if I speak bluntly, but... ..you have an itch... ..that you can't quite reach. And I am anxious that the person you've chosen to scratch it for you is... ..not appropriate. So please... ..please, Sophie, I beg of you, be very careful. (DOOR OPENS) Morning, both. Henry? The Prince is looking for you. He's pretty baity. And you have been...where? I went for a walk on the sands. MONMOUTH: Did you? Did you. How jolly. Mind how you go, my dear. * Sir, you wish to see me? I have been to the village. Your village. You do not deny that you have a village? Well, the physical place, sir, yes. It's entailed to the estate. But there's no-one living there now. That is clear. Where are they? New York, mostly. - Explain. - Of course. When the famine was at its height... ..I conferred with the villagers and we decided that... ..it was best that they left and began afresh in America, and I...I enabled them to do so. That is what you do with people who you find inconvenient. - You pay them to go away. - They were glad to leave. They write to me from New York often telling me so. - No-one paid them to do that. - Nevertheless. You considered them to be...dirty papists. I do not, sir. Who said that I did? I was told by your own gamekeeper. Magee. Magee is no-one's gamekeeper, sir. He is a poacher. And as a magistrate, I sent him to prison on a regular basis. I rather like the fellow, but... ..he does like mischief. You have an answer for everything. Well, then I am fortunate that the puzzles you set me are so easily resolved. Sorry, ma'am. Was there something you wanted? Abigail, shush. Sit down. Sit. How do you like Ireland? I...I like it very well, ma'am. The people are very friendly. Are you convinced by it? Not entirely, ma'am. You talk to them, they've all got loved ones who died in the famine. Some pretty terrible stories, really. It's a wonder they don't hate our guts being here. Yes. I believe the suffering was very terrible. The sound of it still echoes, even here. Dublin will be a day of reckoning. The shamrock dress, I think. Lady Palmerston. Some final words of wisdom? I offer no wisdom, ma'am, but I presume to advise you of a sign. Ronan, the cardinal. If he speaks sympathetically, Catholic Ireland will take a step closer to us. I trust I shall see you in London some time. My word on it, ma'am. VICTORIA: Lord Pam. Will you lead us on to Dublin? Ma'am. Give my regards to your mistress, Westminster. I know you can't live without her. (HUBBUB ECHOES) (UNEASY MUSIC) Your Majesty, may I present Bishop Moberly. And Cardinal Ronan. Gentlemen. We cannot fail to observe, all of us present here today, that this is a moment of great poignancy. I do not mean that the Queen has come to Dublin. That is something that should have happened long before now. And for my lateness, I apologise. I mean that in your coming here, Cardinal Ronan... ..you bring your church to meet with mine. And I thank you for the honour. Your Majesty. My church salutes you in return. And as an emblem of determination that we should all advance together in peace... ..we offer you this gift. VICTORIA: I have not come to trespass on the authority of His Holiness, the Pope. I come only to deliver in person this pledge. That I shall strive with all my heart to help your country recover the strength it once enjoyed and deserves to know again. You have given me a dove. An Irish dove. This is her land. This is where she belongs. Let us send her home. (LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE) Good day. CAINE: Now, Bertie. Bonjour, monsieur. Comment allez-vous? Je m'appelle Bertie. Je suis tres heureux de faire votre connaissance. Bienvenue a Londres. - (LAUGHS) - My God! We'll make a gentleman of you yet! - VICTORIA: I'm so proud of you! - VICKY: Mama! Oh, Vicky! - Welcome back. - Thank you. FEODORA: I believe the expedition was a success. Palmerston did everything within his power to make it appear as if everything ran smoothly. FEODORA: Victoria was persuaded? A childlike faith in what she's shown. ALBERT: Mmm. Could I trouble you for something? There's a gentleman, a cleric. His name is Hannam. Hannam? Ah, yes. Yes, Oxford man. Puseyite. I've read his work. He would like to become the Dean of Ely. Oh, well, actually, that's rather a good fit. Mmm. Leave it with me. Gentle Jesus, meek and mild... (WHISPERS) Look upon... Look upon this little child. Pity my simplicity. Suffer me to come to Thee. Amen. What's this? You've got a... rash on your arm. Goodnight, Mama. - Goodnight. - (DOOR OPENS) (VICTORIA SIGHS) I slept very poorly. I kept thinking about Bertie. Yes, he's done very well. He was so unhappy when he said his prayers last night. Yes, well, sometimes I think we set too much store on happiness, don't you think? Whatever do you mean? Well, um... Well, yourself, Victoria. What makes you happy, Victoria? The adoration of the crowd. VICTORIA: Not this again. You know, in Dublin, you were supreme. The crowd cheered and your heart was lifted. But now you are gone. Will the Catholic Irish persevere in their wish to be reacquainted with their Protestant masters? Will their masters accept them or snub them? Or the whole affair, has it already been consigned to history? My presence in Ireland had meaning. I wish that I could persuade the Irish to think and act as you imagine that they do. Victoria. VOICEOVER: Get free SKY Sport for a year with Vodafone TV and catch all the big hits... (TYRES SQUEAL) ..misses... (WHISTLE) ..meltdowns, slam dunks... (CHEERING) (YELLS) ..howzats and bunker action live. Simply sign up to Vodafone TV Starter with SKY Sport on an eligible home broadband plan and dive into a feeding frenzy of free sport for a whole year. Only with Vodafone TV, bringing you more of the content you love. Visit vodafone.co.nz to sign up. Now ink your lips in liquid matte with Superstay Matte Ink from Maybelline New York. Bold colour. Liquid matte formula. Up to 16-hour wear. Superstay Matte Ink, only from Maybelline New York. * Palmerston! Damn you, look at me! Have you been rogering my wife? I have not, sir. A little less of that, Monmouth, and you might roger her yourself with rather more authority than you do at present. I'm not mocked, Palmerston. There will be retribution. Say something. - Ma'am? - (SIGHS) Not ma'am. Say...something. Oh, really - half the time I can't prevent you from filling the room with your opinions. I... I'm uncertain... Dear Turner. It's not your fault. I just... (SIGHS) I wish you felt able to initiate a conversation without fretting how I might respond. I think you're right to be worried about your son, ma'am. The household is concerned. BERTIE: Vocative. Dative. Ow! (NEARBY) Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow. Ow! Get...out... Your Majesty, I beseech you... - (SHOUTS) ..of this house! - Allow me to explain the method. Step away, sir. You shall not threaten my mother! You look glum, Highness. (SIGHS) The tutor has been dismissed. Inevitably, I shall get the blame. I did not know the child was being persecuted. How could I? Because you were in loco parentis? - (FEODORA SIGHS) - That doesn't interest me. What interests me is this - the unexpected appointment of George Hannam as Dean of Ely. New pearls, madam? You force me to play my card. What card is that? The picture card. The one that shows you at Osborne, attempting to ravish the Duchess of Monmouth. Your Serene Highness, I think we might be quits. I wanted to be a good father. I know. To make such a catastrophic error in judgement, it is... ..inexcusable. Thank God we have no more children for me to... ..damage. As ever, my... ..timing is impeccable. (BOTH CHUCKLE MIRTHLESSLY) Are you sure? Seventh time of asking. I'm...familiar with the indications. Liebes, I...I congratulate you. I am glad we shall have another child. Albert. Shall we survive this? I love you. We shall try. SONG: # Hallelujah