(Minions holding final note) (one Minion continues singing, holding final note) (running out of breath) (gasps) (squeaky groan) (burbling) ('Happy Together' by The Turtles) # Imagine me and you. # I do. # I think about you day and night. # It's only right # to think about the girl you love # and hold her tight. # So happy together. # I can't see me lovin' nobody but you # for all my life. # When you're with me, # baby, the skies'll be blue # for all my life. # Me and you and you and me. # No matter how they toss the dice, # it had to be. # The only one for me is you, # and you for me. - # So happy together. - # Ba-ba, ba-ba. - # So happy together. - # Ba-ba, ba-ba. # Ba-ba, ba-ba. # So happy together. # www.able.co.nz Able 2019 NARRATOR: Minions. Minions have been on this planet far longer than we have. They go by many names ` Dave, Carl, Paul, - Mike... - (Minion giggles) (panicked gasping) Oh, that one is Norbert. He's an idiot. They're all different, but they all share the same goal... (all gasp) ..to serve the most despicable master they could find. Boss! (roars) - (Minions shouting happily) - ALL: Boss! Boss! NARRATOR: Making their master happy was the tribe's very reason for existence. Well, that's not to say that they didn't have... other passions. Oh! Ah! Hey! (speaking Minionese) ...banono! (speaks Minionese, grunts) (speaks Minionese) ...banana! Ha-ha-ha! Yum-yum! Huh? NARRATOR: Finding a boss was easy... but keeping a boss ` therein lies the rub. (roaring, growling) (excited chatter) (grunts) (anxious grunt) (gasping) (grunting) (dinosaur gasps) (panting) (chuckles) Ooh! (groans) (anxious grunting, shrieking) (gasps) (sad chatter, sobbing) NARRATOR: Nope, it wasn't easy for these guys,... (woozy groan) ...but they never gave up. With the emergence of the Stone Age came the rise of a new species. Man was very different from the dinosaur. He was shorter, hairier, and way, way smarter. (screeching) (Minions laughing) The Minions took an instant liking to man, and helped him the best they could. (growling) - (grunting) - Oh, oh, no. (speaks Minionese) ...pinata! (laughter) - (curious grunt) - (speaking Minionese, grunting) - (roars) - (man shrieks) - (screams) NARRATOR: Poor man. So trusting, so fragile, so... so delicious. Their quest for a boss put the Minions front and centre for some of civilization's most historic moments. Raa kaba ank! Anubis! Hyah! NARRATOR: Ancient Egypt held great promise. (shouts in Minionese) Okay! - Pancake! - (clamouring) (clamouring stops) NARRATOR: But it didn't last long. - Hmm. - Oh. Uh, yeah. Ah. Ow! NARRATOR: The Dark Ages were actually fun times. - (whispering, snickering) - Shh, shh, shh! NARRATOR: Their new master had a tendency to party all night and sleep all day. (lid creaks) (clears throat) Ooh-ooh. - (yawns, smacks lips) - (Minion giggling) Ratch-ooturi? - (speaks Minionese) - (cheering) (screaming) Oh... uh... NARRATOR: But eventually, the party was over. (sneezes) They bounced from one evil boss to another, but they never seemed to find their perfect fit. (screaming) (Minions screaming) One particular employer took their failure very, very badly. (yelling, bellowing) Huh? The Minions had no other choice but to keep moving. (shivering, shuddering) (groaning weakly, speaks Minionese) And then, when all hope seemed lost, they found sanctuary. The Minions were safe! (cheering) (singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in Minionese) (laughter) (speaking Minionese) - (groans) Huh? - (laughter) - (screams) - (shouting) - (laughter) - (uncomfortable giggle) Years passed as the Minions forged their own civilization. They truly made a life for themselves, but something just wasn't right. (groans) (speaking Minionese) They felt empty inside. Without a master, they had no purpose. They became aimless and depressed. (sadly singing "We Wish You a Merry Christmas" in Minionese) (sobbing) If this continued any longer, the Minions would perish. But all was not lost, for one Minion had a plan. His name was Kevin. He was excited to share his idea with the tribe. He'd been preparing for days, weeks, months. But now he was ready. (speaking Minionese) (chuckles nervously, speaks Minionese) (groans) Buddies! (shouting in Minionese) NARRATOR: Kevin would leave the cave go back to the outside world, and he would not return until he had found his tribe the biggest, baddest villain to serve. (Kevin speaks Minionese) But he needed help. Me! Me! Hey, hey! (speaking Minionese) NARRATOR: Bob was eager to go. But Kevin felt he was just not strong enough for the dangerous journey ahead. Uh, no... (speaks Minionese) Me! (speaking Minionese) Me! Choose me. (speaking Minionese) Huh? NARRATOR: Luckily, someone stepped up. -Huh? Huh? -KEVIN: Stuart. (speaks Minionese) Huh? Me? Me? Oh, thank you. NARRATOR: Truth be told, Stuart had no idea what he was chosen for... Huh? (shouts in Minionese) ...but was thrilled it made people cheer for him. Thank you. (speaks Minionese) Thank you! - (singing in Minionese) - (speaks Minionese, chuckles) Me! (grunts, speaks Minionese) (groaning) (farts) - (crowd gasps) - Ooh! Uh, okay. (speaks Minionese) (groaning): Kevin! Kevin, me. (speaking Minionese) (groans, clicks tongue) Come here. (gasps, shouts, laughs) NARRATOR: Eventually, Bob's energy and enthusiasm, but mostly lack of other volunteers, changed Kevin's mind. (speaking Minionese) - Kumbaya! - Kumbaya! - Kumbaya! - (Minions cheering) NARRATOR: The tribe said their farewells. Kevin had given them something they hadn't had in a very long time ` hope! Kevin! - Bob! - (chuckles) Hey, Tony. (speaking Minionese) Tom... (speaks Minionese) Chris. KEVIN: Hey, Bob. (speaks Minionese) Oh... (speaks Minionese) CROWD (chanting): Big boss! Big boss! Big boss! Bye-bye. (chanting continues in distance) NARRATOR: Kevin felt pride. He was going to be the one to save his tribe. Stuart felt... (stomach burbles) ...hungry, mostly. He was going to be the one to eat this banana. Oh... NARRATOR: And Bob,... (Bob gasps) ...Bob was frightened of the journey ahead. (whimpers) Ah, okay. (speaking Minionese) Think of the boss. Okay, okay. - (speaks Minionese) ...Big boss. - (chuckles) Bob. NARRATOR: And they were off, off to find their new boss. KEVIN: (speaks Minionese) Bob! (groans) (yells) (snoring) (hums, chuckles) (panting, chuckles) Huh? Kevin! (birds calling) (groaning) (grunting with effort) - (groans) - Huh? -(stomach rumbling) - Huh? (whimpers) (speaking Minionese) (groans, speaking Minionese) Huh? Banana? Uh, Stuart? (speaking Minionese) Banana. - Banana! - (both screaming) (groaning) - Stuart! - (speaking Minionese) Stopa! - (groaning continues) - Bob, stopa! - (ship's horn blows) - (gasps) (gasps) Huh? Oh... (cheers) Bob? (speaking Minionese) (grunting) (groans) Kevin. - (speaking Minionese) - Ah. Stuart. (speaking Minionese) (grunts) (speaking Minionese) - Uh, no, no... - No, no, no, no. (groans) Profiterole! - (muffled speaking) - (snickering) - No, no, no! - (groans, speaks Minionese) Stuart... (speaks Minionese) Ah! (crowd chattering) (laughter) - Oh, look at that one! - Whoa! - Oh, look at that one. - (gasps) - Mm! - Peace! - Make love, not war. - Peace and love! - BOB: Boo-ya. Boo-ya, boo-ya, boo-ya. Hey, hey, whoa. (speaking Minionese) Kashmiri? Boo-ya! Boo-ya, boo-ya. Oh! Whoa! Wow. Banana. - Hey, taxi! - Hey, hey! Oh! Oh... (chuckles) Hey, hey! Hey, hey, hey, hey! Uh, hey, b-banana! Hey, hey! (shouts) (gasps, speaking Minionese) Stuart? Hey, oh. (speaks Minionese) Uh... (speaks Minionese) Bob? - (muffled): Kevin! - (gasps) Bob! (muffled shouting) Oh, bello! (woman screams) Bob! (humming) Huh? Oh. (gasps, shouts) Bob! (pants, gasps) Whoa. (chuckles) WOMAN (over PA): ...now available in the men's fashion department. Women's bell bottoms and tie-dye shirts marked down. - Check out our wide selection of go-go boots and miniskirts. -Uh, whoa. (gasps) Bob! (speaking Minionese) Bob! -(speaking Minionese) -(grunts) -(screams) (groans) Okay. (speaking Minionese) Bob! WOMAN (over PA): The store is now closing. Hey, what are you doing? KEVIN (over PA): (speaking Minionese) Bob! ANNOUNCER: Give me that. (gasps) Kevin! (speaking Minionese) Oh. Huh. Ah. (speaking Minionese) (gasps) Hey. (chuckles) Buddies? (speaking Minionese) Hey! (laughs) Oh! (groans) Hey, buddies? No? (sadly): Oh. KEVIN: Bob! Bob! Oh! (speaking Minionese) (conversing in Minionese) Oh... Tim. - Oh! (giggles) - Me Tim! Thank you. Hmm? (speaking Minionese) (laughing) (speaking Minionese) Boing-boing... Ah. Ah. - (speaking Minionese) Stuart? - (speaking Minionese) Ah... Uh, nah! (speaking Minionese) Okay, okay... (speaks Minionese) Oh, "Datting Gam." Okay. (speaking Minionese) And welcome back to The Dating Game! - Well, Jennifer, have you decided which of these three gentlemen you'll go on a date with? Is it Bob? Yeah! Go, Bob! Kevin? (speaking Minionese) Kevin! Or will it be Stuart? Oh. Yo, Stuart! Gosh, this is so hard! They all sounded so cute. Um, I think I'm gonna go with... (screaming) (frantically speaking Minionese) - (speaking Minionese) ...Stuart. - (stammering) - Huh? - SINGERS: # VNC! # TV ANNOUNCER: You're watching the top-secret Villain Network Channel. If you tell anyone, we'll find you. (speaking Minionese) Sponsored by Villain-Con, for 89 years straight, the biggest gathering of criminals anywhere. - (speaks Minionese) ...big boss. - That's right, Villain-Con. Attend guest lectures from esteemed villains, make contacts in the underworld community, and, for the first time anywhere, Scarlet Overkill! Evil. SCARLET: So evil. (man screams) TV ANNOUNCER: Criminal genius! Hey, a girl's got to make a living. TV ANNOUNCER: Move aside, men! SCARLET: Make way. TV ANNOUNCER: There's a new bad man in town... Excuse me. ...and that man is a woman. (Scarlet chuckles) Crime isn't pretty. It's red hot. - (gasping) - (Bob giggles) TV ANNOUNCER: Get to Villain-Con this weekend. Only at 545 Orange Grove Avenue in Orlando, Florida. So much fun, it's a crime. (evil chuckling) Oh! Villain-Con, Orlando. - (whooping) - (laughs) It's big. So big you gotta fold it. VOICEOVER: Domino's New Yorker Big Pepperoni, just $14.99, pick up or delivered every Saturday and Sunday only. $14.99? (laughs) Bello! Uh, Orlando? (groans, speaks Minionese) - Hey, uh... (speaks Minionese) Orlando? - (dog yipping) Oh-ho-ho! Hello... (speaking Minionese) ...papaya. - (speaking Minionese) Orlando? - (baby splutters, jabbers) Uh-huh. Ah, okay. - Thank you, baby! - Bye-bye! - (speaking Minionese) - Ah. - (speaking Minionese) Orlando! - (shouting, speaking Minionese) (panting) Blah! Hey, Stuart... (speaking Minionese) - (groans) - (horn honks) Oh, yeah. Far out. Love is the way, brother. Ah! (chuckles) Eh, no, no, no, no, no, Kevin. (speaking Minionese) (grunts) (horn honking) (screaming) (laughs) No, no, no... (speaks Minionese, mimics Stuart, sputters) (growls, speaking Minionese) Ah. Eh. Stopa! Stopa! Stopa! (speaking Minionese) Stopa! Stopa! - (humming classical music) - Stopa! Stopa! (sobbing): Stopa! (growls) (muffled speaking) (speaking Minionese) (shouting in Minionese) (groans) (frustrated shout) Hmm, Stuart... (speaking Minionese) (muttering) - Uh... - (horn honking) - (tyres screeching) - No! (coughing) (whimpers) (groans) Oh, Walter, look! These adorable little freaks are headed to Orlando, too. Yeah, I see that! - Hey, Walter Junior. - What's happening? - Tina. - Hi! - Binky. - (Binky grunts) - What do you say we give these fellows a ride? BOTH: Yay! New friends! All aboard the Nelson Express! You, one-eye! You're sitting next to me. - Okay. (speaking Minionese) - Stuart! (speaking Minionese) (Bob giggles) Oof. Glad we came along before some weirdos picked you up. (chuckles) Who wants apple slices? Ah, ah! Ooh, ooh! Ah. Bapple! Oh, you, too. Growing, uh, boy-like creatures need their strength. Okay. Uh... - (speaking Minionese) - Heck, yeah! (smacking) Oh... Thanks, man! All righty. Who needs to stretch their legs? - Yeah! Ooh! Ooh! - Yes, me, me, me! - Sweet! - You guys wait here. We'll be right back. Okay, Nelsons, let's do this! (meows) Uh... (speaking Minionese) (sputters) - (alarm bell ringing) - (people shout and scream) Go, go, go! Okey dokey, on the road again. (tyres screeching) (sirens wailing) Dad, we got company! It's because I tripped the alarm. I stink. Hey, we all make mistakes, sugarplum. You're still learning. Huh! What?! Your father's right, Tina. - WALTER: Reload! - He wasn't this good at being evil overnight. - WALTER: Reload! - Your time's coming. (laughs) Oh. Argh! It's jammed! Whoa! What? (chuckles) Ah! Ha-ha! (speaking Minionese) (giggles) - (speaking Minionese) - No, no! WALTER: Whoa! Huh? - Hey! - Hey, what the... Whoa, whoa, whoa! Okay, who did that? - Uh... Stuart! - Huh? Me, me. - That was great! - (laughs) - Huh? - Thank you! - (speaking Minionese) MADGE: Say, fellas, can we get personal for just a second? Why are you going to Orlando? Uh... (speaking Minionese) Come on. You can tell us. You're going to Villain-Con, aren't you? - Ah... Villain-Con. - # Villain-Con! # Wow! So many bad guys in the car. - What fun. - I knew it. I knew you were villains, didn't I, honey? What a small world. Hope we're not in rival gangs. (chuckles) Binky, joke! Heh. Babies, huh? (explosion) Tonight, I'll be eating a Meatball Melt Subway Footlong Sub and a Double Choc Chip Cookie from Subway. (DOORBELL DINGS) Whoa, whoa! What are you doing? Lighting! It's important. - (sadly speaking Minionese) - Ooh! (speaking Minionese) Yay! (speaking Minionese) - Yay! - (cheering weakly) (whistle blows) (groans) ALL (weakly): Yay. - (groans) - (speaking Minionese) Hey... boss! (speaking Minionese) - Big boss... boss! - Huh? (cheering) - Big boss... big boss! - (shushing) Boss... (speaking Minionese) Blah! (cheering) - (snoring) - (whimpering) (sputtering) When we get to Orlando, I'm gonna get all my favourite villains to sign my magazine. - Dumo the Sumo! - Oh, oh! (speaking Minionese) Boss! Oh, Kevin, you don't want to work for him. - He ate his last henchmen! - Eek! Uh... Frankie Fish Lips! - He lives in the ocean. - Eh, eh... boss? Uh, can you breathe underwater? Uh, so-so, uh... (gasps) Oh, oh, oh, look at her. Scarlet Overkill! The coolest super villain, like, (scoffs) ever. She started out as your average little girl ` braces, pigtails ` - but by the time she was 13, she built a criminal empire. - Oh. If I was a Minion, that's who I'd want to work for. Ah, Parlet Popapil. Oh. - Here we are. Beautiful Orlando. - Yeah! We're here! MADGE: # Orlando! # Hey, gang, watch this. MAN: Welcome to Billy Bob's Bait Shop. How can I help you? Yeah, hi. Uh... (clears throat) We're here for, uh, so much fun, it's a crime. (bell dings) (speaking Minionese) ('Break on Through' by The Doors) # You know the day destroys the night. # Night divides the day. # Tried to run, tried to hide. # Break on through to the other side.. - (whooping) - Villain-Con! La Villain-Con! All right, here we go. Well, this is it. I want to tell you, and I really, I mean this. I really appreciate what you did back there with the cops ` really. Dad! It's Frankie Fish Lips! (inhales) I can smell him from here! - WALTER: Junior, get my camera! - Good luck in there, boys. I hope you find what you're looking for. - Bye. - Bye. (giggles) (speaking Minionese) Villain-Con! - Yeah! - Villain-Con! (whooping) Okay! (speaking Minionese) (gasps, chuckles) Any evil talents? (weakly): Not bad. What about you? Any evil talents? Uh... Bello! La, la, la! La, la, la! Eh? That's not evil or a talent. (groans) (speaking Minionese) (humming) Bello! (bellowing) Ha-ha! No? I'm sorry, but I'm not looking for any more servants, for I, Professor Flux, have invented the world's first time machine! Every time I visit the future, I bring my future self back to help me. - Hello! - Oh. Move that over there, Professor Flux from two weeks from now. (groans) As you can see, I don't need any help. Oh, way to go, guys. We killed the original. (gasps) (screaming) Please! Uh... ANNOUNCER: Villain-Con presents our keynote speaker, Scarlet Overkill! The world's first female super villain. (stammering) - Appearing right now in Hall H! - B-Bob! Stuart! Buddies! Hey! Buddies! (speaking Minionese) Scarlet Popapil! - Scarlet? - Come here! Come here! Kevin! - ANNOUNCER: Are you ready... - (cheering, shouting) ...for Scarlet Overkill! (sighs) Doesn't it feel so good to be bad? - Scarlet! Scarlet! Scarlet! - Yes! (whooping) (laughing) - Whoa! - Wow! Ah. - (whoops) - (laughs) (grunts) (cheering) - Yeah! - (speaking Minionese) Oh, wow. Thank you. - (chuckles) - (chanting): Scarlet! Scarlet! Thank you so much. - Scarlet! Scarlet! - Okay. Shh! Shh, shh, shh. Ah. When I started out, people said a woman could never rob a bank as well as a man. Well... times change. I love you, Scarlet! Look at all those faces out there. We are all so different. But we have one thing in common. (gurgling): We were born with flippers! No? Just me? Okay. (clears throat) We have big dreams, and we will do anything to make them come true. Have any of you ever dreamt of working for the greatest super villain of all time? (cheering and laughing) (chuckles) Well, what if I were to tell you that I am looking for new henchmen? - Boss! (speaking Minionese) - (laughter) I truly believe somewhere out there is a villain with the potential to serve greatness. And it could be any of you. - Whoa! - Although, let's not kid ourselves. Truly, the only men for this job are Kevin and his Minions. - (gasps) - Ten times the evil in half the package. I am just in awe. Let's hear it for Kevin. He saved his tribe! (chanting): Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! Kevin! - Kevin! Kevin! Kev... - Kevin? Hey! Kevin? - Hey. - Agh! Hey! (speaking Minionese) So, how should we do this? Hmm. Oh. You see this tiny little trinket? Well, just take it from my hand and you've got the job. No big deal. It's almost too simple. - Uh... - Oh, come on. Don't be afraid. Just take the stone and get that job. Come on. Oh, okay. (speaking Minionese) ...boss. That job is mine. (bellowing, grunting) Now go easy on me. - Whoops! (chuckles) - (screams) Love the costume. Ha! (speaking Minionese) So cool! (groaning) Tim? Tim! (gurgling) Oh, no, Bob! (speaking Minionese) - Aah! Tim! Tim! - Is no one good enough? Tim! (screaming) Bob! - (bellowing) - Hi-ya! Tim! - (speaking Minionese) - (gurgles) I got it! I got it! (groans) Didn't my speech inspire anyone to rise up and prove themselves worthy? All these villains, and yet I still have the bear. Stuffed bear! Why am I holding a bear? Who has the ruby? (Bob choking) Wow. Who`? Who are you, my... knights in shining denim? - Ha... me-me Kevin... Stuart... - Yo! - ...Bob. - Minions! That was incredible. Behold! The last creatures you'd expect to win the day have emerged victorious! Everyone, meet my new henchmen, the Minions! Kumbaya! - Kumbaya! - Kumbaya! Kumbaya! Hey! I know those guys! I gave them a ride here! (whoops) Buckle up, boys. Next stop, England. (action music) It's big. So big you gotta fold it. VOICEOVER: Domino's New Yorker Big Pepperoni, just $14.99, pick up or delivered every Saturday and Sunday only. $14.99? (grunting) (phone line ringing) (groans, speaking Minionese) - (phone rings) - (growling) (speaking Minionese) (singing "Make 'Em Laugh" in Minionese) (horn honking) (grunting) (ringing continues) Bello. Hey, Kevin! Eh? Le boss in England? Nah... (speaking Minionese) (singing continues) (blows low, deep note) - (laughing) - (bell dings) Ah, uh... Bello, Kevin? (speaks Minionese) ...England? Uh-huh. Le boss? Si? Scarlet Popapil? Ah. (screaming) (roaring) - (busy signal beeping) - Bello? Bello? (speaking Minionese) Bello? - BOB: Oh! - KEVIN: Wow! KEVIN: Ah! (grunting) - (whimpering) - Here we go. Yeah. By the way, I really like your bear. - Herb! My baby. - You know I am. - How'd it go? - (chuckles) - Were you evil? So evil. Oh, a little bird dropped this off today. (whispering): "I missed you. H." It's me, I'm the H. Also, there was no bird. Also me. Herb, seriously, I want to dig up that William Shakespeare so he can see what true writing is. I love it. Ah, that works out because I love... (chuckles) (chuckling) Well, I love... (chuckles) too. Ah, the love, ah! - (kissing noises) - (laughter) - SCARLET: Oh, boys,... - Huh? ...could you come here, please? Meet my husband, Herb. Inventor, super genius, fox. Herb, these are the new recruits, Kevin, Stuart, and that cute little one is Bob. Hey, bello. (speaking Minionese) Right on. You guys are crazy little and way yellow, and I dig that. Huh? Uh... Yeah? Oh. Sweet, man. Oh! (chuckles) - Whoa! - (speaking Minionese) I know, right? Just a few things I stole to help fill the void. Whoa! Mega ukulele! Checking out my can? We stole that because finally someone expressed my love of soup in painting form. - Wow! - Ooh! Okay, listen up. It is time to get down to business. Do you know who this is? Uh... La cucaracha? This is Queen Elizabeth, ruler of England. Oh, I love England. The music, the fashion. I'm seriously thinking about overthrowing it someday. Ooh! (speaking Minionese) Anyway, this pale drink of water oversees it all. I'm her biggest fan, love her work. And I really, really, really want her crown. Ooh! (speaking Minionese excitedly) Steal me the crown, and all your dreams come true. Respect! Power! Banana! Banana! - (whooping) - (speaking Minionese excitedly) (groaning) Ha! (gasps) Henry! (shuddering) (speaking Minionese) ...England. Uh, uh... (speaking Minionese) Uh, England. (shouts, screams) - (growling) - (speaks Minionese) (all screaming) (growls) (bellowing) (laughter) (screaming) (bellowing) (shouting) Oh, uh... - Hmm. (speaking Minionese) - Hey... (speaking Minionese) - Whoa. - Wow. (chuckles) Ooh-la-la. HERB: No! Oh, no. Don't get too close, boys. When it's completed, it'll be my ultimate weapon. But right now, it's leaking radiation like you would not believe. So, you're here for gear. Whoa! - Bob, Robert, Bobby, my boy. - (speaking Minionese) You get my far-out stretch suit. Wow! (giggles) Kevin, Kev-bo, Seventh Kevin, you are the proud owner of my lava lamp gun. - Ah? - This baby shoots actual lava. Ooh! (speaking Minionese) - Pretty cool, right? - (chuckles) And finally, Stu, Stu-art, Stu-perman, Beef Stu, I got you the coolest invention probably ever. (laughs) - Hypno-hat! - Uh, oh. Uh... (clucking like a chicken) You can use it to hypnotize anyone. Anyone! Oh, you look so great. I feel like a proud mama with three dashing evil sons. - Uh, Scarlet, Scarlet... (speaking Minionese) - No, no. Don't say anything. I won't understand. It's getting late. You've had a big day. You must be exhausted. Boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, - boing, boing, boing,... - HERB: Wow. These cats are pumped. - boing, boing, boing. Well, maybe I'll settle them down with a bedtime story? (chuckles) (screams) BOB: ...boing, boing,... - How does that sound, Bob? Bob. - ...boing, boing, boing,... - Bob! Bob! - ...boing, boing! - Oh! Bedtime porry? - That is a groovy idea. I'll go get some cookies and warm milk. This is gonna be so fun! Bedtime porry. Oh, yes, I've got a really, really good bedtime porry. Once upon a time, there were three little pigs. One fateful day, the pigs encountered a big, bad wolf... (growling) ...who had a wonderful surprise for them. The wolf offered the three piggies and all their friends a job working for her. Everyone would be so happy. All the three little piggies had to do was just steal one little crown that the beautiful wolf had wanted ever since she was a penniless little street cub, unloved and abandoned. But that crown would mean she was a princess, and everybody loves a princess. So the wolf sent the piggies to get that crown. (siren blaring) But the little pigs weren't up to the challenge. They failed their mission. So the wolf huffed and puffed, and she blew them off the face of the Earth! Yo, po, po! The end. (shuddering) Good luck getting that crown tomorrow, little piggies. I know you won't disappoint me. - Um. - (Bob snoring) Okay. (speaking Minionese) Scarlet. - MAN: Uh, which way is the loo, please? - KEVIN: Hmm. - Ah, thank you. - Ah. (speaking Minionese) (clears throat) Bello. Tres Please. You're not allowed in without an adult. Scram, hooligans! Oh. (groans) (speaking Minionese) Uh, uh... Hmm. (giggling) Ooh... (speaking Minionese) Oh, la... Stuart... (speaking Minionese) (Bob screams) How many tickets, please? - Uh... tres, please. - (muffled grunting) - (muffled): Uno, please, uno. - (chuckles) - Enjoy yourself, love. - ALL: Thank you. (laughs) It was nowhere near Hyde Park. Bob's your uncle. - Huh, hmm... (speaking Minionese) - Okay. (grunting) - (gasps) - (humming) (speaking Minionese) STUART: Okay. Huh? - Ah! - (speaking Minionese) - (groans) - H-Hey. Okay. (speaking Minionese) - MAN: Hey! - Huh? What are you doing here? Uh, uh, uh... (speaking Minionese) This is a restricted area! Hands in the air! N-No... - Uh... - (speaking Minionese) (singing "Hair" in Minionese) Stop that. Get back... (singing continues) (all singing in Minionese) (upbeat singing) (laughs) Yay! (singing continues) (grunting) Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! Bob! Stuart! - (laughing) - Yeah! (panting heavily) - (groans) - (speaking Minionese) (chuckles) (speaking Minionese) (speaking Minionese, laughs) - MAN: So,... - Huh? ...you came for the queen's crown, did you? Well, you're gonna have to get through me, the Keeper of the Crown! (laughter) (mimicking in Minionese) Ow! Hey! You think it's funny to mock the elderly, do you? Uh... si. I've been up here for decades, just waiting for someone to try and steal the queen's treasure. - (groaning) - Okay. (singing "Hair" in Minionese) What are you saying? Never mind, don't care! - (groaning) - (laughs) - (whirring, rattling) - Oh, no! (speaking Minionese) Oh, no, you don't. - (screaming) - Oh, flippin' heck! (screams, groans) - (muffled): What's going on? - (speaking Minionese) (yelling) - Bob... (speaking Minionese) - Eh, hmm. Wow! - (straining) - (speaking Minionese) (speaking Minionese) (crowd cheering) (panting, speaking Minionese) - THE QUEEN: Hello! - (shouting in Minionese) (grunting) ('You Really Got Me' by The Kinks) Ha! (panting) Hey, look at me! (laughs) # Girl, you really got me goin'. # You got me so I don't know what I'm doin' now. (laughs) Hello! - Stone the crows! - Stop him, lads! - Wait! Halt! - Go for the legs! (screaming) (horse whinnies) Gordon Bennett! Kevin! (gasping) The queen's been kidnapped, Sarge! Blimey! (sirens wailing) KEVIN: Hyah! Hyah! Ooh! (shouting) (screaming) (horn honking) Ooh! Hah! Boo-ya! (screams, grunting) Huh. Hyah! Hyah! What's going on? - Bello! - Oh, my goodness! - (speaking Minionese) - Whoa! - Ha, ha! - No! Gentlemen do not steal ladies' crowns! (screaming) Huh? - (train horn blows) - Hmm? (screaming) (gasps) Huh? (gasps) (speaking Minionese, screams) Oh, no, no, no, no, no! - THE QUEEN: Ho-ho, dear! - (screaming) Aah! Aah! (both screaming) Yeah! (chuckles) - You scoundrel! - Uh-oh. - After them! - Come on, lads! Get 'em! - (screaming) - Tackle him! Stop the blighter! - Wait! Wait! - Go, grab him! (gasps) Huh? (straining) (bellowing) Huh? Oh! (harmonizing angelically) (sings off-key) (grunts, mutters) Cor, blimey! One of England's most famous myths has become a reality... (slurps) as a new king has been crowned. Bob, who appears to be a bald, jaundiced child, has pulled the famed sword right from its stone, which, legend dictates, makes him the new king. (sputters) Tiny yellow traitors! (groans) ('The Letter' by The Box Tops) # Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane. # Ain't got time to take a fast train. (ship's horn blows) # Lonely days are gone. # I'm a-goin' home. (chuckles) England! ALL: England! (chanting): England! England! England! England... Engla... - England! - England! (speaking Minionese) Ha, ha! (speaking Minionese) (screaming) (singing in Minionese) # Anyway, yeah. Gimme a ticket for an aeroplane. (speaking Minionese) - ASTRONAUT: Huh? - Bello! - Bello! - (Minions chatter happily) - DIRECTOR: Cut! (straining) # My baby just a-wrote me a letter. # (crowd cheering) Hey, Bob... (speaking Minionese) - (sputters, speaking Minionese) - (laughter) - Hello, King Bob. - Uh... Welcome to Buckingham Palace. Uh, no. Oh, what's the matter, Your Majesty? Whatever's bothering you, we can make it right. Just name it. Oh. CHORUS: # King Bob! # (laughing) Buddies! Buddies! Ah! Le buddies! Le buddies! (laughs) (speaking Minionese) Oh! (clears throat) - (speaking Minionese) - (mic feedback whines) (clears throat) King Bob! - CROWD: King Bob! - (cheering) - Long live the king! - King Bob! (speaking Minionese) Bob, La King... (splutters, speaking Minionese) (shouts) (continues speaking Minionese) (laughter) (speaking Minionese) BOB: So... (speaking Minionese) ...King Bob! (shouting) (one person clapping) - (speaking Minionese) - (butler sighs) King Bob! - (cheering) - CROWD: Yeah! King Bob! (feedback hums) Hey. (CHUCKLES) Hello. Hello. Hey. They say language is the gateway to culture. And I have the key. Can I interest you in the big Kiwi breakfast? (PHONE TRANSLATES INTO SWEDISH) (SPEAKS SWEDISH) PHONE TRANSLATOR: Kiwis are endangered, no? (SPEAKS SWEDISH) PHONE TRANSLATOR: I could try a little one. # Oh, oh. Oh, oh. Oh. # Oh. (laughing) - (Minions shout happily) - BUTLER: King Bob, wait! - Wow! -Whoa! -(crashing) (whooping) (groans) - Uh... - Yee-haw! - King Bob! Hyah! - Victory! - (dog barking) - (clamouring) Huh. Ah. (chuckles) (bell jingles, Bob laughs) Yes, King Bob? Oh. (giggles, bell jingles) King Bob? - (Bob giggles) - King Bob? Ah, Claire. Mm, Tiffany. (speaking Minionese) Rawr! - Ball! - (dog barking) How dare you! - Aah! - (barking) - (muffled groaning) - (growls) - (barking) Scarlet! Don't you "Scarlet" me, you backstabbing little traitors! Using Herb's invention to steal my crown? Uh... I feel used, not gonna lie. You stole my dream. I was going to conquer England someday. There was gonna be a coronation, and I was going to be made queen. Every moment was planned. I'd wear a dress so sparkly it glowed. And everyone who ever doubted me would be watching, and they would be crying. I was going to be the picture of elegance and class! And you pinheads screwed it up! No, no, no! (speaking Minionese) BUTLER: No, no, no. King Bob, you cannot just abdicate the throne. Who invited the square? And you definitely cannot just give the job to this woman. There are laws. Paws? (speaking Minionese) ...paws. (laughs) (speaking Minionese) ...Scarlet Popapil. King Bob has officially changed the law, clearing the way for Scarlet Overkill to be crowned Queen of England. She will be coronated at London's historic Westminster Abbey. If I wasn't so polite, I'd say this spells certain doom for the country, if not the world. But I'm so very polite that I shall keep my mouth shut. But, seriously, we're all in big trouble. - (reporters clamouring) - Scarlet! - Scarlet! SCARLET: I don't have time to answer any questions. I just want to thank the Minions for going above and beyond the call of duty. - You are three tiny, golden,... - (Bob giggling) ...pill-shaped miracle workers, and you have stolen not just England, but my heart. - FEMALE REPORTER: Scarlet! Over here! - (Minions grunt) - (speaking Minionese) ...buddies. - Pardon me? (speaking Minionese) - Eh? - Wow! So many! Good for you! - Well, you'll all get what you deserve. - (reporter grunts) Serve! (speaking Minionese) (speaking excitedly, chuckling) (whoops) # Hey, hey, we're the Minions # (singing "Hey, Hey, We're the Monkees" in Minionese) (laughing) (singing continues) - Buddies? - (singing stops) Oh. (door creaks) Go ahead, go ahead. - Uh... - (all gasp) (speaking Minionese) - Uh... - (clack) I don't want you to take this the wrong way, but I hate you. I thought I could get over what you did, but I feel so betrayed. I think... yes, I think... we're gonna have to break up. And it's not you. (sighs) Oh, wait. Hold on. It is you. It's 100% you. (gasping): No... no, no. So get comfortable, Minions. Get real, real comfortable. Because this is where you're going to spend the rest of your worthless little lives. (whimpering) HERB: All right! Let's do this! (speaking Minionese) ...Herb. Who's this handsome Herb fella? No, my name is... Blerb. I'm a-a dungeon master. Prepare for torture! Which I do! (gasping, whimpering) HERB: All right, are we comfy? Doesn't matter! This... is... torture! (yelling) - Oh. - Oh. (speaking Minionese) - No, no. (speaking Minionese) - Wow. Harder than I thought. Next machine. Uh, welcome to Hang Town. Population ` you! (gasps) Oh. - (laughing) - (happy chatter, whooping) Cut it out! This is really unprofessional. No laughing in the dungeon. I want to see tears and I want to hear screams, - or I'm gonna be... Wait. - Hey. Ooh, I've got a groovy idea! - (Minions laughing) - Look at this! (mock groaning) (all laughing) - (Herb whoops) - (laughter continues) SCARLET (over PA): Hello! Will the future king, Herb Overkill, please come upstairs to prepare for the coronation? Well, I hope you learned your lesson for today. (giggling, speaking Minionese) And by the way, it was me, Herb, the whole time. I don't even know anyone named Blerb. - (door slams) - (speaking Minionese) - Oh. Huh? - (Bob whimpering) I am hours away from becoming the Queen of England. - I know. It's a gas. (chuckles) - I will finally get my crown. - Yum. - It's all I've ever wanted. I'm going to be so happy. - (chuckles) - But let me ask you something, Fabrice. Does that... look like this to you? (chuckles) Mrs. Overkill... the hair in that picture, it's just two wavy lines! (chuckles): Oh! So, what, now you're an art critic? I drew that when I was five years old! Get out of my sight! (screaming) Bye, Fabrice! I liked him. He was fun. So, what do you think of the dress? Oh, it's so beautiful. So fashion-forward. So Valentino. Gave it a sweetheart neckline because of my sweetheart. The high collar and cinched waist reflect a simpler, more violent time. The material is a blend of taffeta and high-density body armour. Fully armed and loaded. And that glow, that's nuclear. Nice. Just one more thing to do. Got to look good for the public. (mock groan) - Do you mind? - My pleasure. (grunts) - Little tighter, sweetie. - (grunting) - Come on. I can take it. (grunting): Little tighter. - (loud grunting) - Tighter. Must... have... tiny waist. SCARLET: Seeing stars, seeing stars. - (butler gasps) - Losing feeling in my legs. Perfect. Tight, tight, tight, tight. (sighs, speaking Minionese) - (object clattering) - Huh? - (splash) - Ah! - Bob! Stuart! - Yeah? - Helpa me. (chatter, grunting) (speaking excitedly) (chuckles) Oh, bello. Ooh! (speaking Minionese) - Ah? Ah. - (rat chittering) (speaking Minionese) - Huh? - (organ playing, woman sobbing) (blows nose) (speaking quietly in Minionese) (grunts) Huh? Ah. (speaking Minionese) Eh, eh, Kevin... (speaking Minionese) ...Scarlet. (speaking Minionese) - (insect buzzing) - Ah. Porry... Scarlet. Heh-heh. (speaking Minionese) (grunts) - (rat chittering) - (giggles, speaking Minionese) Ah. Okay. (speaking Minionese) Ha-ha! Scarlet... (speaking Minionese) - (chitters, sniffs) - (all yell) ('Love Me Do' by The Beatles) (Minions screaming) It's big. So big you gotta fold it. VOICEOVER: Domino's New Yorker Big Pepperoni, just $14.99, pick up or delivered every Saturday and Sunday only. $14.99? (fanfare, birds cooing) I love you, Scarlet! Queen wave. Queen wave. Queen waving. Ah... (applause, organ playing) - I am so, so excited. This is perfect! - (clown laughing) Everyone looks so nice. Oh, you are just adorable! - (affectionate grunt) - (gasps) Oh, yes! And that music, oh! Who is that organist? She is good. Right? She looks like an Edna? - Edna! - Who is that? - You are very good! (babbles) (giggles) Thanks for doing this, Padre. Big fan. Come here! Let me squeeze you. Ooh, you are so squishy. - (manhole cover scraping) - (Kevin grunts) Ah. (speaking Minionese) ...Scarlet. Go, go, go! (groans) (grunts, chuckles) (Kevin grunting) (grunts, sighs) (chuckles, speaking Minionese) - (grunts) - (clang) Ouch. Ou-Ouch. (speaking Minionese) (speaking Minionese) ...sayonara! Come here! (groans) Ciao. (speaking Minionese) (singing "Auld Lang Syne" in Minionese) - KEVIN: Bob! Come here. (speaking Minionese) - (screams) - KEVIN: Stuart! - (speaking woozily) (grunting, panting) Aw. Whoo-hoo! - Ah. - (grunting) - Okay. (speaking Minionese) - (exhausted groan) - (grunts) - Ah. - (insect buzzing) - Oh. B... - ARCHBISHOP: Will you, to your power, cause law and justice... - (Kevin gasps) - (speaking Minionese) ...Popapil! - (excited chatter) - (gasps) - Ah... - (grunts) - Hmm? - (whimpering) - (Bob sobbing) - Uh... (speaking Minionese) (yells, gasps) (angry chatter) (speaking Minionese, screaming) (shouting in Minionese) ARCHBISHOP: ...in mercy... (frantic yelling) Oh, no, no! ARCHBISHOP: Do you, Scarlet Overkill... (buzzing) (both screaming) - (laughter) - (speaking Minionese) - Huh? Huh? - (screaming) - No! (grunting) Uh, mm... (groaning) (speaking Minionese) Uh... (grunts) - Come here, come here, come here... - (speaking Minionese) ...Bob. - (grunts) - (gasping) ARCHBISHOP: I proclaim thee, Scarlet Overkill,... - (giggles) - ...the Queen of England. Huh? (straining) Kevin! (chuckles) Huh? - (screams) - (bellowing) (crowd gasping) Scarlet! Scarlet, my queen? Somebody help me! (grunting) - HERB: Come on, come on! Lift on two! - Bob! One, two! - One, two! - (speaking Minionese) - (thudding) - Huh? (crowd gasps) (growls) Scarlet, you're okay! He tried to kill me! Uh, no... (speaking Minionese) Villains, this is no longer a coronation. It is an execution! - Get them! - (crowd clamouring) (screaming) Whoa, Nelly! Run, fellas, run! (evil cackling) (panting) - (gasps) - (bellowing) (speaking Minionese) - (whimpering) - (motor sputtering) - Huh? - (speaking Minionese) (motor starts) (screaming) (evil cackling) - Hyah! - (speaking Minionese) (panting) - (speaking Minionese) - (rumbling) - (screaming) - (speaking Minionese) - Kevin! - You're mine! Stuart, Bob. Uh... - (yelling) - (speaking Minionese) - (bellowing) - (horn honking) - (evil laughing) - (speaking Minionese) ...Bob! - (laughing continues) Oops. (screaming) - Oh, hey, I got one. - (muffled shouting) (yells) (shouting in Minionese) (speaking Minionese) (laughs) (grunting) Oh, Tim. - (sighs) - (gurgling) Huh? Oh? Aw. Oh! (speaking Minionese) (laughs) Uh, eh? (screams) Tim! Stuart? Bob? (sighs) (speaking Minionese) Buddies? ANNOUNCER (over PA): Mind the gap. Mind the gap. (Minions cheering) MINIONS (chanting): England, England, England! - (laughter) - ANNOUNCER: Mind the gap. - (whimpering) - MAN: He won't get away! - (gasps) - He won't escape us. - We got him. (crowd chattering) - (Queen laughing) - Huh? Oh, oh, what about this one? (chuckles) Why did the queen go to the dentist? - To get her teeth crowned. - (laughter) (speaking Minionese) Tell us another one, Lizzy! Uh, uh, bello! (sighs) Oh, it's you. Everyone, this is one of the little fellows who stole the monarchy from me. And how is that working out for you? (speaking Minionese) Oh, yes, yes, I saw what was going on on the telly. Uh, telly? What was meant to be the coronation of Scarlet Overkill has gone terribly wrong as... Move! (growls) Kevin, Kevin, I know you're out there. You think you've gotten away? Well, what do we have here? Bello! - Bob? Stuart? - SCARLET: Oh, my goodness. Which one shall I kill first? - Little Bob? - (muffled shouting) Stuart? Bob? Stuart? Hmm? I will do it, Kevin, if you are not back here by dawn. - Oh, my. - (gasps) No! (speaking Minionese) Buddies... ...Scarlet! (gasps) (mob clamouring) (sighs) (laughs) There he is. (grunts) (sighs) Follow me! (chuckles) (chuckles) Who the man, eh? (laughs) Uh, oh. Oh. - (thumping) - (gasps) (bellowing) Harder! It's just my head! Oh, no... (stammering) This way! Look at him! Go, go, go, go, go! (stammering) - (yells) - (screams) No! (speaking Minionese) (straining) (stammering) - (alarm blaring) - Huh? (screams) Oh! - (sobs) - (alarm stops) Oh. (chuckles, sighs) - Huh? - COMPUTER: Ultimate weapon initiated. - (screaming) - Activation in three, two, one. (muffled shouting) (rumbling) (echoing): Bello! (screaming) Huh? Le buddies. (Stuart whimpering) SCARLET: This is it, boys. Things do not look good for you. - Oh, and I'm keeping the bear. - (gasps) Tim! You're not gonna need him where you're going. (chuckles) Heaven. - (rumbling footsteps) - (low growl) Huh? Ah, shoosh, shoosh, shoosh, shoosh! (grunts) Huh? Aah! (straining) Bye-bye. Say bye-bye, Bob. Bye-bye. - (whimpering) - Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. (rumbling footsteps) (straining) - (screams) - (horn honks) (growls) (evil laughter) (muffled screaming) (laughs, speaking Minionese) (muffled cheering) (speaking Minionese) Huh? Oh! Whoa! Wait, what? How did he...? (growls) Hold my bear. (screaming) Huh? (growls) (screaming) (whistling) (chuckles, speaks Minionese) - (laughter) - Yippee! Kevin! (speaking Minionese) So that's your plan? Make yourself a bigger target? (cackles) (screams) (speaking Minionese) Scone? - (Kevin screaming) - Huh? K-K-Kevin? - C'est la Kevin! Kevin! - ALL: Kevin! Kevin! (bellowing) - Whoa! - (screaming) Huh? (shuddering) (cackling) (speaking Minionese) (groans) And so help me, I never want to see another one of your goofy, bug-eyed faces ever again! - MINIONS (chanting): Scarlet! Scarlet! Scarlet! - What? Oh, you've got to be kidding me. - (screaming) - Oh, no, you don't. Whoa! (whimpering) And just for the record, my little devilled eggs, you can thank Kevin for what I'm about to do to you! (screams) Ow! Ow! (slurps) - (cheering) - Buddies! Bob! Stuart! Tony! Oh, Tom! And Chris! - (speaking Minionese) - You the man! (laughs) Buddies! - Hey, Kevin! - Mazel tov. - Yeah! - Mwah! Mwah! (muffled grunting) Ew! Yeah! Oh, aah! Kevin! Kevin! - Enough! - Huh? - This ends now! Uh... (stammering) (straining) (whimpering) (grunting with effort) Huh? Kevin! (cackles) You imbecile. Have fun exploding. HERB: Baby! Whoa! - What's the rush? - Got to get out of here. Let us... go! (groaning) HERB: Whoa! Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. (grunting) (boom!) (gasps) K-K-K-Kevin! (sobbing) (speaking Minionese) (sobbing continues) (chitters, squeaks) Hey... (speaking Minionese) (gasps, speaking Minionese excitedly) - (laughs, sobbing) - (Minions humming "Taps") Kevin... (speaking Minionese) (humming continues) (speaking Minionese) (humming "Taps" continues) (Kevin screaming) (excited shouting) ALL: Kevin! (cheering) (groaning) (cheering) (groaning) (cheering) (laughs, whooping) (screaming) (grunts) - (all groan) - Ooh! (cheering) (whooping weakly) Ouch. (chuckles) It's big. So big you gotta fold it. VOICEOVER: Domino's New Yorker Big Pepperoni, just $14.99, pick up or delivered every Saturday and Sunday only. $14.99? - Stuart. - Hmm. - Bob? - Si. (groans) Okay. (speaking Minionese) (applause, crowd cheering) Ladies and gentlemen, we are here today to celebrate the Minions! (all cheering) Yeah! Huh? Aah! (retching) The country owes you a great debt of gratitude. - Bob,... - Me? ...you were a wise and noble king for all of eight hours. So, for you, I offer this tiny crown for your teddy bear, Tim. (laughs, speaking Minionese excitedly) Oh, very good, Bob. (sobbing) Oh, spectacular! I am so proud of you boys. Oh, Stuart. Ah. (speaking Minionese) - For you, I have this beautiful, super duper, incredible... - Ah? Ah? - ...snow globe. - Eh? Poglobe? And look, look. Hours of excitement. Oh, uh, uh... (weakly) Yippee. Uh, gracias. (snorts, laughs) Oh, Stuart, we're just messing with you. - (Kevin snickers) - Don't be mad at me. It was Kevin's idea. - Kevin! - (laughs) - We have a much better surprise for you. - (gasps) - Super mega ukulele. - W-Wow! (speaking Minionese) (plays soft notes) Yeah! (playing loud, rapid riff) (cheering) (screaming) (yells in Minionese, laughs) (gasps, whimpers) (speaking Minionese) Poglobe. Thank you. Right. Uh... And finally, Kevin. - (crowd cheering) - (speaking Minionese) You are a hero of the highest order. For your bravery and valour, I am knighting you. From here on out, you are Sir Kevin. Well done. (crowd cheering) NARRATOR: What a beautiful moment. - Kumbaya! - Kumbaya! NARRATOR: The nation, nay, the world was celebrating Kevin, Stuart and Bob. The last few thousand years were rough, no question, but things were finally going their way. Kevin had never been more proud, but something was missing. (laughs) Yes, good show! Good show. (gasps) My crown is gone! It's gone! Blimey! - She's lost the crown! - Oh, my days! (speaking Minionese) (crowd chattering) (chuckles) Scarlet? (speaking Minionese) Scarlet! Hey! (speaking Minionese) Scarlet! Hey! They took everything from me. My castle, my reputation. Things look bleak, baby, I'm not gonna lie. - But now at least I have my crown! - (weapon charges, fires) (crowd gasping) (panting, gasps) (straining) Child, give me that back. No, I don't think so. You have no idea who you are messing with. I am the greatest super villain of all time. (chuckles) Oh. Were you? (giggles) (stammering) B-B-Buddies! Come here! Come here! (speaking Minionese excitedly) - (laughs) - (growls) Ah-ah! Boss! (laughs, speaking Minionese) ...Boss! Are you really going to allow that little penguin to make off with my crown? (sniffles) Oh, Herb... I'm done. Hey, hey! (speaking Minionese) (gasps) For me? Aw. (speaking Minionese) Bye-bye! - Big boss! - (cheering, whooping) NARRATOR: And that is how the Minions found their new boss. He was cunning, he was evil, he was perfect. He was... despicable. (evil chuckling) ('Got to Get You Into My Life' by The Beatles) # I was alone. I took a ride. # I didn't know what I would find there. # Another road where maybe I could see another kind of mind there. # Ooh, then I suddenly see you. # Ooh, did I tell you I need you? # Every single day # of my life. # You didn't run. You didn't hide. # You knew I wanted just to hold you. Huh? - Oh, banana! - Banana! - Banana? - Oh! Oh! ALL: Banana! (Gru screaming, Minions clamouring) # Ooh, you were meant to be near me. Huh? (screams) (sighs) Banana! # Say we'll be together every day. # Got to get you into my life. (grunting) Hey! Come here! (laughs) (Minions laughing) # What can I do? What can I be? # When I with you, I wanna stay there. # If I'm true, I'll never leave. # And if I do, I know the way there. (snoring) Shh! Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. (chuckles) (growling) (screaming) (chuckles) Cheese! Cheese! Cheese! # Got to get you into my life. (murmuring) (laughter) (speaking Minionese) (laughing) (laughter stops) (laughter) (laughter stops) Gru, Gru, Gru, Gru, Gru... # I was alone. I took a ride. # I didn't know what I would find there. Gru! - Gru! - Gru! - Oh! ALL: Gru! (playing The Beatles' "Revolution") (screams) (singing in Minionese) (Bob spluttering) Bob! (speaking Minionese) (speaking Minionese) (singing continues) (straining, groans) Want one? (chittering) (speaking Minionese) (bellowing) - Huh? - (speaking Minionese) (screaming) - (chuckles) - (bellowing) (speaking Minionese) Huh? (singing continues) - (caveman grunting) - (Bob laughs) (men clamouring, dogs barking) (spluttering) Hey! Hey, you! (singing continues) - (Keeper of the Crown shouting) - (Kevin screaming) (laughter) (singing continues) Hey, come back here! (singing continues) (speaking Minionese) (Stuart hums guitar riff) (laughter) (singing continues) - (dinosaur bellowing) - (all screaming) (song ends) (roars) - Freeze ray! - (gun whirs, clicks) - (dinosaur growls)