* BIRDS TWITTER WOMAN: Larry! Jimmy! Ergh! (Strains) (Pops out cork) BANJO TWANGS That's very good. Good. How much is it? $2. BANJO MUSIC TWANGS THOUGHTFULLY There's one... There's two. Thank you. BOTTLES CLINK CHICKENS CLUCK It's locked. He's in there again. Pa! What are you doin' in there? Open up this door! You better not be doin' what I think you're doin'! Hey! I told you I make that for peddling, not for YOU to drink. Hey, you...you show some respect. Ugh! Larry! Jimmy! Y'all get over to the house! Supper's ready! GUNSHOT DOG BARKS, CHICKENS CLUCK FRANTICALLY GUNSHOTS Why'd you hit him? He was drinkin' my profits. You can't be so ornery. People think you're crazy. Nah. I'm just tryin' to make an honest buck. LAID-BACK COUNTRY MUSIC (Willie Nelson sings) # Hello, walls # Hello # How'd things go for you today? # Don't you miss her # Since she upped and walked away? # And I'll bet you dread to spend another lonely night with me... # Don't call me at work. Larry! Oh... I'll call you back, Momma. Give a big, big hand to, uh... Alanis from Ottawa, Tennessee. Thank you, Jimmy. You know, I don't know if you feel the way I do right now, but we deliver the finest ladies in Southern Ohio, don't you think? (Claps once) Thank you. And now, please give a warm, warm welcome to... ..Kimberley and Melissa! They're all the way here from Paris and London... ..Kentucky. COUNTRY MUSIC TWANGS WHISTLING Hey, hey! Go, babe! ADDING MACHINE CHATTERS So, how are we doin'? Bad. What do you mean 'bad'? I mean we're broke. How can we be broke, Larry? Well, you know, these giveaways are killin' us. The limousine, the... The smorgasbord was a stupid idea. Then all your buddies are coming in every night, drinking for free. You don't have to bring my friends into this. Oh! Hey, ladies! Hey, Larry. We're ready to go. You put forward some hard work. Thank you. Alanis - I'll be by in about an hour and I'll bring the ping-pong balls. Hey. Letitia. I'll see you in two hours. Hey, Letitia - I liked the way you blew that candle out tonight. (Girls giggle) You know, there's the secret, right there. If we could just somehow let people know what great lays these girls are, we'd have something. (Laughs uncomfortably) Larry, you can't advertise that. (Sighs) I know you can't. But... Jimmy... Whoa-hoh! Whoa! Mister, what kind of business is this? Well now, I run the, uh... Hustler Go-Go Clubs. I'm sure you've heard of 'em. Mm...no. Yeah, well, see, that's why I need a newsletter. (Chuckles) I figured we'd run maybe 8-10 pages per issue. With nothing but...nudie pictures? Yeah. On this, uh...this, uh... ..nice smooth paper, like this. That's called 'slick'. Slick. Yeah. But I, uh...could get in trouble for printing these. Why? Because there... There are laws. You gotta have some sort of text, like 'Playboy' does. PEOPLE PROTEST LOUDLY (Shouts over protesters) Thank you all for coming to my establishment. And keep in mind we welcome Christians in here too. We don't want your kind here! Thank you. SONG: # How many times have you heard someone say # "If I had his money # "I would do things my way"? # What do you think? Well, how much did it cost? Would you forget the money for one second? What do you think? Well, what I think depends on how much it cost. Look... There you go - the first 'Hustler' newsletter. It's all for the man on the go. Man about town. Here it is. News service. Pictures... Larry, it's a magazine, not a newsletter. How you gonna pay for that? Don't interrupt me when I'm talking. OK? GUN POPS All right, let's hear it for Camille! You were wonderful, Camille. Let's welcome to the stage now Calamity Jane from Moscow, Texas! Let's hear it for her. POUNDING DRUM INTRODUCTION SONG: # Hang on, Sloopy # Sloopy, hang on # Hang on, Sloopy # Sloopy, hang on # Sloopy lives in a very bad part of town # And everybody, yeah Tries to put my Sloopy down # Sloopy, I don't care what your daddy do... # Who is that? # 'Cause you know, Sloopy, girl... # It's the new girl. # I'm in love with you... # She got the moves, don't she? # And so I say now # Hang on, Sloopy... # She ain't bad. # Sloopy, hang on... # Can't be legal either. Oh, yes, she is legal. I saw her ID. # Hang on, Sloopy... # You stupid briar hopper - my DOG could get an ID. From my goat! # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah! # MUSIC CONTINUES Hey, uh...listen. When she gets done up there... ..send her on up to my office. # Sloopy, let your hair down, girl Let it hang down on me. # (Clears throat) What, uh... What's your name? Jane. Jane. Mmm. We have a policy in this club. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, yeah. OK. And? Um...the trouble is I have a sneaking suspicion that you're not, um... ..of age. (Laughs) This... You know, this could cost me my liquor licence. I know. I could have to close up shop. Fire a lot of people. I'll tell you something. Please. Yeah, well... See this? See that? That? I am this far - one second, one millimetre, one SECOND from being legal. So I'm gonna have to ask you to come back when you're, uh... ..when that centimetre's up. Well, it'll be tomorrow morning, then. I like the way you dance. I mean, don't get me wrong. Uh...what's that? Oh, just a little something I got from down home. (Laughs) You're a classy guy. I've heard about you. This is moonshine. Is that... This is moonshine, right? (Croaks) It's OK. It's just from potatoes. What's it gonna do to me? Oh, it's fine. Natural. (Coughs violently) Step away from the desk, will you? (Chuckles) That's like fire! (Clears throat) Sorry I made a mess. That's OK. Um...can I ask you a question? Shoot. I heard this story that, uh... you've slept with every single girl in every one of your clubs. Sort of a prerequisite. I'm just wondering if that's true or not. Well, you know, it ain't entirely untrue, if that's what you mean. I'm just curious why you haven't taken a stab at me. (Both laugh) Well, you... I just met you five minutes ago. Oh, I think it was six. Tick, tick, tick... ..tick, tick... THUDDING AND MOANING FASTER THUDDING THUDDING STOPS (Larry moans) Oh, Jane. Come on - one more time. Oh, one more time?! Come on, Althea. Even Superman has his limits. That's the problem with you, you know - men. You know? Your batteries run out. Whereas we women - our batteries never run out. We could go on and on and on. Well, then, go fuck a woman. (Laughs) And go fuck a woman. (LAUGHS) I do fuck women. Excuse me? You are not the only person in this club to have had every single woman in this club. So after one night, she's moving in with you? Well, you know, this girl, she had it rough. Grew up in a orphanage... Hey! Hey, buddy! Hey! Are you that guy in that little sex paper? Could be. I love the pictures. How do I subscribe? Well, where...where'd you come upon the newsletter? I found it in a gas station bathroom. Came in pretty handy. (Chuckles) Well, look, I'm glad we helped you out, but, um...you know, it ain't for subscription. TRUMPET SOUNDS These guys. TV: In game one, the Steel Curtain... Y'all want some chips? Chips? Thank you. Oh, look at her tits! They're nice. They're nice tits but they don't look real. (Laughs) I don't understand this magazine, you know? Oh, look at her butt. Fuzzy pictures. Articles about I don't know what they're talking about. You guys read 'Playboy'? Well, yeah. Yeah. Mm-hm. Did you, er... 'Scuse me, baby. Did you enjoy this month's article on how to hook up your quadrophonic stereo system? Uh... Think I missed that one. Mm-hm. And, uh...did you follow their advice on how to make a perfect martini? Hey, Larry! Come on, man - move over. Who is this magazine for, anyway? I mean, it's like if you don't make $20,000-plus a year, you don't jerk off! (Chuckles) Seven million people buying it and nobody's reading it! Gentlemen, 'Playboy' is mocking you. * TYPEWRITER CLATTERS Yeah, get me a jelly doughnut. I'll get you one. How many pages do we have right now, exactly? We have 105. That's no good. Why not? 106 is good, 104 - that's good. 105... What, are you connected with these numbers? It's got to be an even number. 'Cause a paper has got two sides, right? That's multiples of two. No, no - a page has four. It's like four. When you fold it. Right - when you fold and staple. So four... It has to... It's not even an even number... Right. We'll get it figured out. We'll...we'll ask Larry. What the hell is he doing? MAN: Baby, let me see that flower in your left hand. No, not that one. Your OTHER left hand. Yeah, that's it. Hey... Hey, hey, hey. Look, er... You know, we're not running a flower shop here, OK? We're selling the girl. So stop futzing around with the pillows and the flowers and just shoot the girl. OK? OK. Now...let's go for that leg thing here. Let's...recline a little... Yeah. Let's see you open them legs a little bit. Now give me a little wider. That's it. Now a little wider. Little wider. Just another little touch wider. (Laughs) No, baby - not quite that wide. Wait, wait, wait! No, that... Get back to that. That's exactly what we want. OK, that's perfect! Leave it right there. That's what you want. A woman's vagina has as much personality as her face. But you can't show the genitalia! Why not? Whoa. Larry, Rudy's right. You can't show... Legally, you can't show... Hey. Shut up, Jimmy. Rudy, are you a religious man? Yeah. OK. You believe God created man? Yeah. God created woman? Yeah. Then surely the SAME God created her vagina. And who are YOU to defy God? Just shoot it! UP-BEAT MUSIC Jesus Christ! Where is she? Althea! Hey, baby. Hey-ey! Happy birthday, baby. And I have...a heart for my heart. Oh, Larry, that's beautiful. What's wrong? The distributor called and, er... ..unfortunately, we've had only a 25% sell-through. Somebody want to... translate that for me? Well, what that means is they're sending back 150,000 copies. That's what it means. Shit! You're just a stupid briar hopper. What made you think you could pull this off, Larry? 'Cause he has balls. Well, what he needs is brains. Oh God - Einstein's speaking! I'm so impressed. So, one more issue and we're wiped out? Yeah. Larry, you said yourself it's not so bad to be poor. Hey, fuck you, Althea. You go be poor, OK? Uh...I believe you're the one that got us into this debt. Listen, you think just 'cause it's your birthday that you can be a bitch? Yeah. And I think I'm 50 feet tall and you have a needle dick. Agh! Don't ever hit me like that again! Don't talk to me like that, don't hit me like that. I'll go back. I'll go back and I'll eat dog food. You know...take this. 'Cause I don't own this any more. Throw it out in the street. INTERCOM BUZZES WOMAN: Mr Flynt, there's a guy phoning from Italy. He claims he has naked pictures of Jackie O. Put him through. Yeah, hello. You're the photographer? MAN: Right. Yeah. What have you got? Uh...is this Mr Flynt? Yeah, this is Mr Flynt. Listen, I was watching that damn island for four months and then...one day, man, cabana door opens and out comes Jackie O. with nothing on. I mean not a single stitch. You're sure it's Jackie O.? Yeah, sure. And...and what do you see? You see absolutely everything. Trust me. And she's a good one. This ain't no Mamie Eisenhower or Lady Bird. Oh, my God. First pussy! TV: Everyone's talking about local boy done good - or bad - Larry Flynt... Arlo, move! ..whose 'Hustler' magazine has reached national sales figures of an astonishing two million copies. CHEERING And in a stunning disclosure... Hal, move your ass! ..WGBE-TV has learned that Ohio Governor Jim Rhodes himself was spotted at a newsstand buying a copy of the infamous Jackie O. issue. I spoke to the Governor... Arlo, move it! ..earlier today, and he had this response. I think everybody knows I'm a historical buff about first ladies. LAUGHTER Shh! So you'd be interested in nude photos of Martha Washington? She's a bit before my time... Arlo! What about nude photos of your wife? A teacher educates our children and they become model citizens. The clergyman preaches and we find spirituality. My bank gives loans and homes get built. But now, there's a new, darker influence in Cincinnati. Mr Leis, if you would? (Clears throat) Ladies and gentlemen, I'm gonna ask that you review this material very, very carefully because it's important that you know that I did not buy these at a smut store. These were not purchased at a...dirty bookshop. I bought this in a neighbourhood grocery store in full view of our children. Ma'am, you cannot hide from this. Decent people are being corrupted. Why, just look at what happened to our fine Governor. As members of the Citizens for Decent Literature, we cannot relent. We must prevent the destruction of the soul of our country. SOMBRE MUSIC Larry. Yeah. Take off your pants. What? Take off your pants. Why? Because I've never fucked a millionaire before. Look at that. FIREWORKS EXPLODE CHEERING BLUES GUITAR VERSION OF 'THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER' Happy birthday, America. CHEERING (Sings) # ..of the free... # (Whoops) This is Larry's house? Ma! Pa! It must be it. (Laughs) My son! You came! It's so big! How are you, Larry? Larry, who are all these people? Oh, well, these are my friends, Ma. Oh, you have so many friends. Lots of money, lots of friends. Oh, look at you! Hey, Arlo! Hi. You know how many rooms I have here? No. No. 24 rooms. You know who else has 24 rooms? The President? Hugh Hefner. This is the best room in the house. You'll like it. This is the best room in the house. You know, there's a maid still cleaning up in there. Let me just say a word. The maid's cleaning up in there. He's got to talk to someone. My folks are here. Move the girls into the jacuzzi. I'll join you later. Your folks are here. Oh. What...in the world is that? SONG: # I'm your boogie man... # Hey, ladies. # That's what I am... # Larry! # I'll give it to you... # The party is just beginning! MUFFLED DISCO MUSIC # I want to feel it all # Your love most of all (UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES) Larry. Yeah? Do you ever think about getting married? Oh God! You know, there's nothing more certain to ruin a beautiful relationship than marriage. As soon as you get that ring around the finger, OK, suddenly you have an ownership situation. Prior to that, it's friendly. You're kind to each other. And I'll tell you something, as much as I love you, I want a variety of different... ..vagina, pussy. I'm...addicted. What did we just do? That's what I'm talking about! What? What? So you think I'm talking about monogamy? Do you think I'm talking about...? You're not talking about monogamy? No, of course not! Larry, how could you misunderstand me? I was wondering, because I thought... I don't want to get married and stop the way we live. The way we live is great. Nothing would change. My God! Why...why now? Because I only want to be with you. You're the only man I want to be with. I want this ring on my finger telling me that you love me above all other women... You want a ceremony? I want to go to a church. Yes... I want to stand before a preacher. Pay the preacher on the way in and a cash cheque from the lawyer on the way out. You are...my life. (Sighs) You're my life. I am here for... You're my life too. ..the rest of my life. Right now, right here, my life. I can't speak for 20 years time. I can. You can? Yeah. Let me say something, all right? Just forget I brought it up! Listen to what I'm saying. Forget I brought it up. Listen. Listen to what I'm saying. Would you marry me? It's not funny to joke like that. I'm not joking! Would you marry me? Would you do me the honour of becoming Mrs Larry Flynt? And you're not fucking with me? You mean it? No, I'm just kidding. You are? No, I'm serious. Don't! I'm serious. FANFARE LOFTY MUSIC No! No! She's got a dick. She taped this on. This is not real. Who'd want to see that anyway? I think it's genius! It's just like when people slow down at a car crash to take a peek. We're breaking taboos. How about 'The Wizard of Oz'? Huh? What do you mean? OK, like Dorothy is laying there in Kansas. And there's the Tin Man and the Scarecrow and, um... Who's the other one, Larry? The Lion. The Lion! And they're all gang-banging her and there's Toto maybe even. Toto too? Um, Althea, I think some things are sacred. Shut up! Althea, that is the best damn idea I ever heard. Tear into one of our tasty Sealord pockets. It's a fusion of real ingredients and delicious tuna that's gently slow-cooked to lock in the flavour, and that's what makes them taste so good. * Where can I find Larry Flynt? Check it out - what is it? The Tin Man can have a tin penis. No, he's got to have a funnel. Funnel hat, you know. BABBLE OF VOICES Larry Claxton Flynt... Larry Claxton Flynt! Yeah. Stand up, please, sir. Put your hands behind your back. What's this all about? You're under arrest. On charges of pandering obscenity in Cincinnati and engaging in organised crime. Organised crime? Sit down, lady. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney... Er...Mr Flynt? Are you Larry Flynt? Who are you? Alan Isaacman. I'm your lawyer. The bail's taken care of so don't worry about that. Let's discuss the case after you've rested. Wait, wait. Who hired you? Your wife hired me. My wife? Yeah. Are you doing her? Wait, wait, wait, wait. Am I what? I'm just kidding. I like you. Give me a call after you get out of law school. No, I'm out of law school. How old are you? 22? 27. Harvard Law School. Three years in the Public Defender's Office. Obviously, you can get whoever you want to represent you, but let me say one thing to you. How shall I...? You're pretty far out there even for guys who do this stuff. I am interested in your case. The problem you've got is very definitely what I know best. And I'm good at what I do. What? Do you specialise in porn? No, no, I don't specialise in porn. I'll be perfectly honest - I don't particularly like what you do. I specialise in civil liberties. You know, I don't understand why they've singled me out. OK, look, Mr Flynt, this case is bigger than just you and your magazine. What's a little more troubling is this organised crime charge. Organised crime? Larry's not in the Mob! Mr Flynt, I just gotta ask you - do you have any connections to organised crime? Absolutely not. Gotta ask. Oh, by the way, er...call me Larry. All right. Larry. In that case, Larry, this is a completely bullshit charge, but we have to take this seriously because you could conceivably be looking at seven to 25 years. 25 years! All I'm guilty of is bad taste. My cousin Bobby shot a preacher in the back. He got six months for it. Bobby shot a preacher? You didn't know? What denomination? Baptist. Can we discuss the fate of Cousin Bobby later, Larry? We need to discuss this seriously. We need to discuss this seriously. I'm taking notes. CROWD YELLS Good morning, ladies and gentlemen. Before we begin, I must apologise for the unpleasantness of this task. What you're about to see is going to take your breath away. 'Hustler' magazine depicts men and women posed together in a lewd and shameful manner. 'Hustler' depicts women and women posed together in a lewd and shameful manner. 'Hustler' magazine depicts Santa Claus posed in a lewd and shameful manner. What's he talking about? Jesus Christ, Larry! Your Honour, with the Court's permission, the defence would like to introduce into evidence 27 other men's magazines sold in the Cincinnati area. Titles such as 'Penthouse', 'Playboy'... Objection! 'Cherry'... Sustained. Sustained? Wait a second, wait a second. Your Honour, if I may, these magazines... (Clears throat) ..contain material that is virtually identical to 'Hustler' magazine. If these magazines are legal and 'Hustler' is not legal, then this is clearly a case of selective prosecution. No. I'm sorry. Did you say no? I will not allow them into evidence. They're irrelevant to this case. But they are not irrelevant. They're not irrelevant. They very clearly demonstrate the community standard laid out... No, Counsellor! The jury is representative of community standards, not a pile of magazines. I won't admit them. You won't admit them. Mr Flynt, will you please turn to page 77? (Sighs) Could you describe to the jury what is on page 77, please? (Clears throat) Er...it's a picture of Santa Claus. What is Santa Claus doing? He's talking to Mrs Claus and holding in his hand what appears to be a large, erect penis. And would you read the caption under that cartoon, please? Er...it says, "This is what I've got to ho-ho-ho about." Mr Flynt, do you think that the Founding Fathers had a cartoon like this in mind when they wrote the First Amendment to our great Constitution? No, but I don't think they had 'Playboy' in mind or 'People' either because I saw some four-letter words in there recently. But isn't a community allowed to set its own standards? No. That's just a disguise for censorship. This country belongs to me as much as it belongs to you, Mr Leis. If you don't like 'Hustler' magazine, don't read it. I don't. But what about innocent children gazing upon your magazine in our grocery stores? Well...look. You know, if a kid gets caught drinking beer in a tavern, we don't ban Budweiser across the nation. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, you've heard a lot here today. I won't try to go over it again for you. But you have to go in that room and make some decisions. There's one thing I want to make very, very clear to you before you do. I'm not trying to convince you that you should like what Larry Flynt does. I don't like what Larry Flynt does. But what I do like is that I live in a country where you and I can make that decision for ourselves. I like that I live in a country where I can pick up 'Hustler' magazine and read it if I want to or throw it in the garbage can. Or better yet, I can exercise my opinion and not buy it. I like that I have that right. I care about it. And you should care about it too. You really should. Because we live in a free country. We say that a lot, but sometimes we forget what that means. So listen to it again - we live in a free country. That is a powerful idea, that's a magnificent way to live. But the price for that freedom is that sometimes we have to tolerate things we don't necessarily like. So go back in that room where you're free to think whatever you want to think about Larry Flynt and 'Hustler'. Then ask yourselves if you want to make that decision for the rest of us. Because the freedom that everyone in this room enjoys is in a very real way in your hands. And if we start throwing up walls against what some of us think is obscene, we may very well wake up one morning and realise that walls have been thrown up in many places that we never expected. And we can't see anything or do anything. And that's not freedom. That is not freedom. So be careful. Thank you. * SOMBRE MUSIC GAVEL POUNDS Madam Foreman, have you reached a verdict? Yes, Your Honour, we have. Hand the verdict to the Bailiff. Will the defendant please rise? Madam Clerk, read the verdict. "We the jury find the defendant, Larry Claxton Flynt, "guilty as charged on all counts." MURMURING AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE Do you have anything to say before I sentence you? Your Honour, you've not made one intelligent decision during the course of this trial and I don't expect one now. Knock yourself out. I sentence you to 25 years... What? ..in the Ohio State Penitentiary. Your Honour, we request bail... Bail denied. Denied? Bailiff, take him away. Your Honour, this is completely standard procedure! All I do is publish a magazine! Mrs Flynt! Mrs Flynt, were you surprised at the verdict? What are you gonna do about Larry? I wasn't surprised by the verdict. We had a stupid judge, a uptight prosecutor. Mrs Flynt, are you ashamed your husband's locked up? I never would be ashamed of Larry. He stands up for what he believes in. I'm not happy he's going to jail. You guys, you can call this a circus, you can call this a witch-hunt... TROUBLED MUSIC Hi, baby. You're so beautiful. Oh, Larry. (Laughs) How are you? I miss you. I've missed you too. You got any girlfriends in here? (Laughs) (Laughs) You got calluses on your hands. You know it. I fantasise about you just all the time. Our bed is so empty. (Sighs) Oh, baby. Oh, baby. Oh God! Oh, baby. What can I do to get you out of here? Oh, you know, Isaacman says there's no way this is gonna hold up. What if Alan's wrong? What if...what if you don't get out till the year 2000 and I'm fat and old and ugly and you don't love me any more? You ain't never gonna be old and fat and ugly. I promise you. (Laughs shakily) I love you. I love you. WOMAN SINGS: # Glory glory hallelujah # Glory glory hallelujah # Glory glory hallelujah # His truth is marching on # His truth is marching on! # SCATTERED APPLAUSE, CHEERING Please, please, please! Please, please. And now, Americans For A Free Press take extreme pleasure in welcoming to Cincinnati, direct from jail, cleared 100% by the appellate court... This is really great - Americans For A Free Press inviting us here. You idiot. Americans For A Free Press is me. Who do you think's paying for all this? That freedom fighter - Larry C. Flynt! HEROIC ORGAN APPLAUSE, CHEERING Thank you. Thank you. I have a thought for you - murder is illegal. But take a picture of somebody committing the act of murder - they'll put you on the cover of 'Newsweek'. You might even win a Pulitzer Prize. And yet, sex is legal. Everybody's doing it or everybody wants to be doing it. Huh? CHEERING Yet, you take a picture of two people in the act of sex, or just take a picture of a woman's naked body, and they'll put you in jail. I have a message for all you good, moral Christian people who are complaining that breasts and vaginas are obscene. Hey, don't complain to me. Complain to the manufacturer, OK? Although Jesus told us not to judge, I know you'll judge anyway, so judge sanely. Judge with your eyes open. What do you consider obscene? Is this obscene to you? Or perhaps that's obscene to you. Maybe this is obscene to you. But what is more obscene? This... ..or this? This... ..or this? You know, politicians and demagogues like to say that sexually explicit material corrupts the youth of our country. And yet they lie, cheat and start unholy wars. Look at them! They call themselves men! They're sheep in a herd. I think the real obscenity comes from raising our youth to believe that sex is bad and ugly and dirty, and yet it is heroic to go spill guts and blood in the most ghastly manner in the name of humanity! With all the taboos attached to sex, it's no wonder we have the problems we have. It's no wonder we're angry and violent and genocidal. But ask yourself the question - what is more obscene, sex or war? AUDIENCE: War! ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE, CHEERING EMOTIONAL ORCHESTRAL MUSIC EXPLOSION Arf! Arf arf arf! Arf! Arf! SONG: # Whoa, dream weaver... # CAMERA SHUTTERS CLICK She's a...she's a killer! # Fly me high through the starry skies... # Larry. Yeah? Oh! Hi, Althea. Hi, Arlo. Arlo, you wanted something? Yes. Um...I've got bad news. Um... ..a Georgia prosecutor's arrested some news dealers for selling 'Hustler'. And, um...some other retailers are getting nervous and they're taking issues off the stands. Fuel the jet. OK. Uh, wait. Alert the Georgia media. Tell them the cavalry's on the way. # I believe we can reach the open light... # WOMAN: Flynt! MAN: Mr Flynt! Larry, why are you here? The good, hardworking news vendors are being threatened and intimidated. Now, that's censorship! MAN: So, what's your plan? Well, just watch me. Come on, right on in here. (Gasps) Are you OK, baby? I'm fine. Stand right over there. All right, don't crowd. Let the cameras through, OK? Are you rolling? Now, what we're going to do here is, ah... ..I'm going to pay this gentleman $1000. I am renting the Puff'n'Read for the next 24 hours. I am in control now. Anybody who would like to purchase a copy of 'Hustler' magazine... Mr Flynt, could I please buy a copy of the 'Hustler' magazine? Yes, you can, sir. Here's the 'Hustler' magazine that I'm selling... That's it. Larry Flynt, you're under arrest. I've got to give him change. (Reporters yell) Only in America, huh?! MAN: Larry Flynt! WOMAN: How far are you willing to go? WOMAN: What are your plans? Many people support 'Hustler', but none support you. How do you feel about that? Why should I go to jail to protect YOUR freedom? That's good. So we're going to pay a million bucks? Why not? Listen, if they catch the killer, it's worth it. OK. Moving on. 'Asshole Of The Month'? Jerry Falwell. You always say Jerry Falwell. Jerry Falwell is always an asshole, that's why. How about this month, we do Anita Bryant? I say, Gerald Ford. I say, Larry Flynt. (Chuckles) Yeah. I like that, bro'. I mean, everybody thinks I'm an asshole. Yeah. That's true. Is that right? Larry, you have a phone call. Take a message. How about 'Asshole Of The Decade'? She's calling from North Carolina. She says she's the President's sister, Ruth Carter Something. Ruth Carter Stapleton? She's a woman of God. What does she want with you? What are you afraid of? Pick up the phone. OK. (Flicks switch) Patch her through. Hello, this is Larry Flynt. RUTH: Praise the Lord! I've found you. Hallelujah! What...what can I help you with? We have a mutual friend, Larry, a television producer, and he suggested we get together. He thought you and I would hit it off. You know, I don't understand. I mean, you're an evangelist and I'm a...smut pedlar. What... Larry, I don't believe in labels. I think you and I could teach each other a lot. So...are you free for dinner tomorrow night? Uh...you know, I have a... ..I have a hectic schedule. You know what's nice about people like you and me, Mr Flynt? What's that? We can do anything we want. (Laughs) JET ENGINE ROARS Do you go to church, Larry? Yeah. Church. Particularly, the, er...(coughs)... ..you know, the big holidays. Er...Christmas and Easter and New Year's Eve. New Year's Eve? (Althea giggles) What? They don't have church on New Year's Eve? OK, we've proven I'm a liar and, uh... ..I never go. It's not important. That's only a ritual. And I believe in going straight to the teachings of Jesus. And does she love that man! So would you call yourself a... ..faith healer? Oh, goodness, no! I do spiritual healing. Oh? I don't mend bones. I mend troubled souls. (Sighs) Well, that's a relief, because I thought you might be one of those tent revival fakes, you know, that used to come and scare the kids with snakes and, you know, wicked this, wicked that, and... Hellfire, damnation - that sort of thing? Yeah. That kind of talk is ALMOST unforgivable. Well then, I'd say we have something in common. Actually, Larry, there's something else you and I have in common. What's that? We're both trying to release people from sexual repression. (Chokes) Really? (Laughs) I'm sorry, Mrs Stapleton! So tell me, ah... does your brother, ah... ..Jim...Mr President... Jimmy. Jimmy will be fine. OK. Jimmy, er... Did he... Do you think he ever... read my publication? You remember that interview he gave 'Playboy' magazine - the one where he admitted that he had lust in his heart? You know, I was especially proud of that. I'm sure you were, but Oral Roberts wasn't. And Billy Graham wasn't. And they took after him in public. So I don't think he's a big fan of adult magazines. Mmm. But you know, Larry, I'm more ambivalent about what you do... ..because I think that sexuality is a God-given gift. I have to agree with you. When I counsel Pentecostal women in bad marriages, I don't take the Bible out. I say to them, "Get some make-up. "Get yourself some curlers. "Make yourself beautiful. "Because Jesus wants you to be beautiful." Yeah, you know what? You're something. You, ah...surprise me, you know? Larry, what was your childhood like? You know, sometimes, things happen to us when we're very young that can hurt for many years after. You know, I think we're all born into this world... JET ENGINE ROARS Why? Why? Because I had an epiphany, OK? A what? An epiphany. Where'd you learn that damned word? This woman crooking you so hard, she's teaching you English now? She ain't crooking me, OK? I think it was more an acid flashback. Don't belittle it like that. It was a serious thing. Do you think that I wanted Jesus to tap me on the shoulder? I'm the last guy who wanted that! I'm getting laid six times a day, and I'm sitting on a mountain of money. You think I wanted God tapping ME on the shoulder? I had an epiphany. I had an epiphany once, Larry. What was that? When my daddy shot my entire family in the head and I was the only one to identify the bodies. And I got sent to an orphanage full of good Christian nuns, who shoved my face into their pussies with their crucifixes on for eight goddam years! I'm genuinely sorry for you, baby. Don't be sorry for me! Be sorry for yourself, because you'll need that to pawn! Don't throw that ring! We'll be so broke, you'll need that! Hey! Come on. It's OK. Just get behind me on this, OK? That's all I'm asking. I feel like it's me against the world. You're all I've got, baby. Promise me you ain't going to do this. I'm doing it! No, Larry! You ain't! I'm doing it! (Weeps) Oh, now I'm baptised too! Is that it? Fuck you, Larry Flynt! GOSPEL CHOIR SINGS: # Oh, Lord # My soul... # Hi, how are you doing? # ..doth magnify the Lord # For he has done so many wonders... # Do you accept the Lord Jesus Christ as your saviour and reject Satan and all his works? LARRY: I do. MAN: In obedience to the will of God and upon the confession of this, our brother, we baptise you in the name of the Father, and in the name of the Son and in the name of the Holy Spirit. # ..the Lord # Hallelujah... # Hallelujah! # Hallelujah! # Do you wanna use your discount now or later? Now's good. (SCANNER BEEPS) Hmm. You just saved $21 with AA Smartfuel. # Hey, do it now. Ha! (WILD CHERRY'S 'PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC') # Yeah, hey. # Hey, once I was a boogie singer. ECHOES: Your card. (MUSIC STOPS) Your card, sir. Well, that was a little bit exciting. * There will be no more photo spreads of women alone. From now on, sex will be presented in a more natural setting, with a man in the picture. You know, a Genesis pictorial with Adam and Eve getting it on in the Garden of Eden. And then, next month I'd like to have, um, pretty girls all floating on big glass crucifixes. Marge or Gordon could shoot that. Larry. I plead with you not to do this. If you do this, this company's going to be worth nothing. You're all looking at me like I'm growing horns out of my head. Look around you. We are living in Roman times. It is...it is...it is time to feed the lions to the Christians. This is a joke? You're just doing this to, um...help our circulation? Arlo. I love you, brother. But please don't ever, ever, ever doubt my sincerity. (Chuckles) WOMAN SINGS: # Use me for your service # Dear Lord # Just grant me the power # Use me for goodness # Oh, Lord... # Yes! Praise the Lord! (Wails ecstatically) # Whoa... # SPLAT! TENSE MUSIC This is making people sick. They're going up to newsstands and they're puking. They're vomiting. You know, baby, I'm just trying to illustrate that I am no longer willing to, um...exploit the female body. (Cackles) You've failed miserably at that. Larry, nobody on this planet wants their religion and their porn mixed together. Well, you know, Ruth says that... Why don't you get Ruth to buy two fucking million of these magazines?! Because nobody else will do it! Larry, I'm not going to pretend that I understand what you go through, what this spiritual thing is to you. I never have. But I've always been supportive. Always. And, honey, you're just taking this too far now. It's going too far. It's like you're losing your mind. Hey! My mind is fine! God is working through me - don't you see that? I could...I could accomplish anything. I could move mountains with God's help. You see that wall? I could make that wall come tumbling down with sheer willpower. God, just do it then! Do it. Do it? Yeah. PHONE RINGS He's going to be thrilled about this. Really. Hey, Larry. Yeah, it's Alan. I'm sitting here with the eminently reasonable District Attorney in the State of Georgia. Right. He's very impressed by your conversion. He wants to cut us a plea bargain. A plea bargain... because I found God? Larry, listen to me for a second. Don't argue with me on this, OK? Say yes, because I pulled lots of strings to make this happen. Is he sitting right there with you? Yeah. Do me a favour. Just tell that miserable old grey-haired bastard to go fuck himself! We're going to trial. OK. Right. Oh, and praise the Lord. (Hangs up) Right. I got it. OK. Ha! MAN: The Gwinnett County Court is now in session. Mr Flynt... ...how can you, as a good Christian, defend this filth? I don't have to. It may be wrong in some people's opinion to portray women the way I have, but it's not illegal. It may not be the smartest thing to drink too much, but it's not illegal. You know, abortion may be morally repugnant, but right now, it's not illegal. If we want to change the laws, that's another discussion. But our right to decide for ourselves cannot be restricted. You know, George Orwell said that...if liberty means anything, it means the right to tell people what they don't want to hear. Now, America is the strongest country in the world today, only because it is the freest country. And if it ever loses sight of its basic heritage and the principles involved, then we will no longer be free. WOMAN: Sir! Over here! ALAN: That was just an unaccountable win. Larry, did you pray before you went into the courtroom? No comment. No comment. Does your wife know you're through? SOFT, UNNERVING MUSIC Do you have any comment? MAN: Do you have anything to say? GUNSHOT (Woman screams) GUNSHOTS (Groans loudly) SCREAMING We've got shots fired in front of the courthouse. Somebody help! Easy now. Call an ambulance right away. SIREN WAILS Stay back, please. Stay back! Ma'am, stay back! (Muffled moans) MAN: Everything's going to be all right. It hurts! SIRENS DROWN CONVERSATION MAN: Patient doesn't appear to have any sensation. I want him alive, even if his head's in a fishbowl! Mrs Flynt. All right! Mrs Flynt. (Sobs) There's something you have to know before going in that room. TROUBLING MUSIC (Althea sobs) Hey... Oh... Larry, they... they say that you're paralysed. They...they say you're paralysed from the waist down. They say that you ain't gonna walk ag...walk again. From the waist down? (Sobs) Darling, I fucking love you. KNOCK AT DOOR I'm so sorry, Althea. Larry. My dearest. How are you? Oh, the pain... I feel like...I'm in hell. No. No, you're not in hell. You belong to God. I wish he'd have killed me. I do. I can't...ever walk again. I can't...make love to my wife. I can't...I can't... (Sobs) ..have a child with her. But don't give in to the bitterness. You'll be so much stronger if you keep your faith. God will see you through this. Ruth... ..there IS no God. Take this thing down. I want all this Christian stuff out now! Oh, ladies. Gentlemen. The reign of Christian terror at this magazine is now over. We're smut peddlers again. We're going back to our roots. We are PORN again. When's Larry coming back? Larry's coming back soon. So, er...what do we know? The FBI ain't got nothing, that's what we know. Who the hell would wanna shoot you anyway, Larry? Who wouldn't wanna shoot me, Jimmy? I'd say it was the CIA. Why? Because of the million dollars offered for JFK's killers. No. I think it was the interracial photo spreads. The KKK. KKK? Wasn't the KKK. It was the Mob! The extreme religious right. They're the ones that control all the fanatics. You've just named every American psycho. Let's try narrowing the field. Larry...you're always, always gonna have to watch your ass. Forever. I oughta move somewhere where...perverts are welcome. BUGLE FANFARE GRAND, DRAMATIC MUSIC Where are you going, baby? I'm going to get some ice-cream. You want some? I want some more. Larry, I just gave you twice your dose. Please, please, please? Larry, you're gonna overdose. I'm not gonna overdose. I'm in PAIN. Larry, you're just doing this to get off. MORE! I'm only giving you half what I just gave you. Don't ask for more for a while. OK. OK. OK, let it go. Let go. (Sighs with relief) You all right? (Whispers) I love you, baby. (Sighs) (Softly) Oh God. Oh God. Hi, Dr Bob. Hello, Althea. How's Larry today? Shitty. (Chuckles) Pretty shitty. How are you today, Larry? Terrible. I'm in pain. He can hardly talk. You know, Larry, we're running out of options here. The drugs, your pain... It's going to kill you. Gimme something stronger. This is, er...30 grand. Can we just have our medicine, please, Dr Bob? In peace. You know, Larry, there is an operation and apparently it's been very successful for this kind of pain. DOCTOR: Ready for the laser. SECOND DOCTOR: Laser ready. Five watts. OK. Let's go. (Mumbles) (Chuckles) (Chuckles softly) Hey. Hey, baby. How do you feel? Er...? Oh, some lady died down the hall. I got her flowers. How do you feel? I feel good. You feel good? Yeah. I feel...I feel great. You know, for the first time since those bullets, I don't feel any pain. No, I don't want it, baby. What do you m...? I don't want it. What do you...? What...? I feel good. And you're not on nothing? You're crookin' me or you're a fuckin' liar. You've been on drugs for four or five years, Larry. I have a hard time believing that you feel really great on nothing right now. Is it that hard to believe that I don't want any? Yes, it's that hard to believe. Baby, I took the drugs 'cause I was in pain. I'm not in pain now, so I don't want it. Why would I want it? I dunno. Well, why do YOU want it? Well, if I don't take it, I'll, er, go into seizures and get really sick and it makes me feel good. Here. I don't want it! In two hours you'll want it. I'm done with it, OK? You've said this before. Stop it! That's 'cause you're... Here. Take...take all of them. Come on, Larry. Stop it. Stop! Get the hell away from me! I said I don't want it! You'll hurt yourself. Stop, please. Well... ..been through a lot together. We can make it through this. Hmm? You're gonna go cold turkey? I'm going cold turkey and so are you, OK? No. Yes. OK. OK? OK. OK. No. I can't, Larry. (Sobs) What am I gonna do? What do I need that shit for? I want my mind back. Do you wanna use your discount now or later? Now's good. (SCANNER BEEPS) Hmm. You just saved $21 with AA Smartfuel. # Hey, do it now. Ha! (WILD CHERRY'S 'PLAY THAT FUNKY MUSIC') # Yeah, hey. # Hey, once I was a boogie singer. ECHOES: Your card. (MUSIC STOPS) Your card, sir. Well, that was a little bit exciting. * ELEVATOR BELL DINGS The pervert is back! What's your name? Sophie. Tell everybody the pervert is back. (Sophie over intercom) Th-the pervert is back. The pervert is back. Circulation is down by a third. The colour reproduction is horrible. Models look like they're... three dollar whores. And the writing is by some moronic idiot... Er...Mr Flynt? I don't want to step on your toes, but things have changed since you were actively running the company. I look back at the stuff you did in the '70s and it was sort of racy and crazy, but the country's different now. Reagan has rebuilt America and the moral majority is gaining power. You're fired. Excuse me? Get the fuck out of my building. Doug, get him out of here! You blow-dried jerk. Take him out and throw him in the incinerator! Cut him up and feed him to the animals! Get out of here! Larry! Larry, you can't do that! I mean, he's our vice-president. He's the V.P. of marketing. Hey, Jimbo, are you trying to challenge my authority? You see that on the wall? 'LFP'. That's LARRY Flynt Publications. Not 'JFP'. OK? I'M the big kahuna here. You have a problem with that? No, Larry. You're the boss. So, er, Larry... ..what's the plan? The plan. The plan is simple. The establishment... took my manhood from me but they left half of me. They left the half with the brain. I'm gonna use it...to get back. PHONE RINGS Hello. LARRY: Wake up. Who is this? It's Larry Flynt. Is CBS interested in seeing videotape of the FBI selling John DeLorean 50kg of cocaine? Are you Mr Waverley? Yeah, yeah. Who are you? I'm Mrs Flynt. Do you want some, er, coffee, or tea, or sandwiches or Ho-Hos, or Pringles, or something? No. No, that's all right. Can I just see the tape, please? John DeLorean. It's DeLorean! These are the drug dealers. Guess what this is? That's the coke? That suitcase? That whole suitcase? Yeah. Watch this. DeLorean, he...the first time he touch it, that's it. That's all the contact he had with it. This is my favourite part. Look, they can't get this damn... They can't get the suitcase closed, right? There's a lot of cocaine in this motherfucker. How do you get the damn thing closed? They're all pushing on it. It's amazing. Now they do a toast. Now, watch this. This is weird. Knock at the door. So he gets up and goes to the door. Look. $4 million worth of cocaine, nobody's even nervous. Now, watch. FBI. FBI. Right? This guy's got a good camera sense. Watch him clear camera. "Let me get out of your way." Watch this guy. Grabs his champagne and he walks away. These guys aren't concerned about him, because...they're FBI! Your Honour, the tapes are genuine, they're newsworthy. We have a right to broadcast them. That's ridiculous. This is stolen government... This leak makes a fair trial impossible. My client, Mr DeLorean, won't find an impartial jury. We're talking basic constitutional rights here. (Men talk over one another) Gentlemen. Please. (Men continue talking) Gentlemen! That's enough. It's stolen, Judge. It's stolen. Here is the Campari ad campaign parody. Jerry Falwell talks about his first time. LARRY: Yeah. JIMMY: You guys are stupid. You ever have anything positive to say, Jimmy? Larry. Yeah. There's a subpoena for you to appear in federal court tomorrow to reveal the source of the DeLorean tape. The FBI got very pissed off, Larry. They want you to reveal the source. You tell that judge I'm wiping my ass with his subpoena! Why is your client doing this? Your Honour, my client is a very complicated man. He's heavily medicated, among other things. I believe him to be an undiagnosed manic depressive. I'll give him something to be depressed about, all right. I'm issuing a bench warrant for his arrest. SIREN WAILS HELICOPTER WHIRRS Come on! REPORTER: The warrant for the arrest of Mr Flynt... MAN: Go! Go! Come on! Ha haaa! ..has turned everything into a circus. Flynt claims he paid... (Laughs loudly) ..high-ranking government officials... Oh! SECOND REPORTER: ..says he'll shoot anyone coming after him. Flynt has been barricaded in his Beverly Hills compound for three days now. Holy shit! FREEZE! Federal marshals! Drop the gun NOW! YOU! Hands on your head! Now! On your knees! ABC! ABC! What the hell's wrong with YOU, CBS? Larry Flynt! We're federal marshals. You come out... SHUT UP! Your fucking priorities! We interrupt this programme... YEAH! Ha ha HA! I turned the whole world into a TABLOID! (Laughs triumphantly) Here I come! Larry? Are you going somewhere? Yeah. Larry? Roll on out, Flynt! Now! Will you get me some bananas? (Sings) # Yes, I'll get you bananas. # Thank you, honey. Please raise your right hand and place your left hand on the Bible. Larry. Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth? No. 'No'? Your Honour, I'm an atheist. I can't very well swear to a God I don't believe exists. Mr Flynt, you are a handful. I know, Your Honour. We'll allow you to affirm, if that's satisfactory, sir. That would satisfy me. Sir, I just need you to answer one question and then you can return home. Shoot. What was the source of this videotape? Your Honour, Vicki Morgan was Alfred Bloomingdale's mistress. Excuse me, Your Honour. It's OK, Alan. It's OK. And Alfred introduced her to all Reagan's cabinet buddies and she was a real party girl and they really liked her, if you know what I mean, Your Honour. So, er, the thing about Vicki is she was a bit naive. And she started writing a book about all these... ..you know, orgies that they were having and, er, next thing you know - BAM! She's murdered. But what these White House killers don't realise is that Vicki kept some videotapes of their sexcapades and these tapes, Your Honour... ..are pure...carnality. Filthy. I've never seen anything... Well, I have, but most people haven't seen anything like this. Your Honour... What has this got to do with the DeLorean trial? That's a good question. (Clears throat) Well, er, technically nothing, Your Honour. But, you know, I had those tapes and this tape and it just made me think of it. Mr Flynt, I'd appreciate it, sir, if you'd stick to the subject. Now, I'll ask you again. What was the source of this videotape? Your Honour, with respect, you don't have the right to ask. That's it. You're in contempt of court. And as of tomorrow, I'm fining you $10,000 a day until you reveal the source of your videotape. HORN BLOWS MAN: Look, there's Larry. Look. There he is! Mr Flynt! All right, folks, make way. Let us through here. Mr Flynt, is this a conspiracy? (Barks) (Growls) (Larry sings) # Oh say can you see by the dawn's early light # What so proudly we hailed... # Where are the Morgan tapes? Do we get to see... Oh! Ow! Do you really have the Vicki Morgan sex tapes? No, I just told them I had the DeLorean tapes, now they believe anything I say. Sir, you must take that helmet off. We don't wear hats here and there's no war around here. Well, you can never be too careful, Your Honour. Don't worry, the United States government will take care of you. We've brought some extra marshals in here today, so I'd appreciate your taking off that helmet. Sir, are you here now to obey the court's order and reveal the source of the videotape or are you gonna pay the $10,000 that I ordered? (Clicks fingers) SPECTATORS GASP I'd like a moment with my client. I don't need a moment! It's my right, under the freedom of the First Amendment to protect my sources. Listen, listen. Don't do anything foolish. Let me talk to him. SHUT UP! Relax, Alan, relax. Mr Flynt, is that an American flag you have on there? I have fashioned this American flag into a diaper because if you're gonna treat me like a baby, I'm gonna act like one. Larry Flynt, I'm ordering you arrested for desecration of the American flag. Marshal, take him into custody. Your Honour, we'd like to post bond. Get away! Hey, hey, hold on! Take it easy. All right. Just a minute, marshal. Very well, Mr Isaacman. Court will set a bond on Mr Larry Flynt for $50,000. And this time, sir, I'd prefer a cashier's cheque. Understood. Understood. Furthermore, I'm gonna keep our Mr Flynt, here, under a very tight leash. And so, as a condition of his bond, he absolutely cannot leave the State of California. Larry! Hey! Larry! Hey. Hey. Larry, you're not getting on that plane. Yes, I am. You're not! Don't. Do you think this is some kind of game? Yeah, you're right - it's a joke! Five and a half years since they shot me and now the government... Hey, I was there too! All right?! You remember? You don't see me pissing off everybody we're trying to get to help us. Yeah, well, you can walk and you can fuck and I'm in this chair! And I got money, OK? That gives me the power to shake up this system. Dougie. Well, find somebody else to help you then. This isn't what I signed on for. I don't even know what we're engaged in any more, Larry. If you get on that plane, I quit. Alan, don't be so melodramatic. You don't want to quit me, I'm your dream client. I'm the most fun, I'm rich and I'm always in trouble. Hey, go to hell, Larry. Go to hell. 'Bye. JUDGE: Why did you disobey this court's order? Didn't I make it clear you couldn't leave the state? We had an honest misunderstanding. No, no. Counsellor, counsellor, he's right. Some rules are made to help us, not hurt us. And I do apologise, Your Honour, and... ..I want to fess up and reveal my source. Now, tell me, who was the source of this videotape? (Clears throat) The samurai. Excuse me? The samurai gave me the tape. And who is this man and where is he? Unfortunately, he had a critical groin injury on the way to give me the tape and he's undergoing acupuncture treatment in Beijing, China, right now. It's OK, Alan. Mr Flynt. This court fears that you are seriously mentally ill. Well, opinions are like assholes, Your Honour, everybody's got one. Cut it out. Shut up, Alan. Shut up. No, you shut up! Listen to your lawyer. Let him do the talking. No, I know the rules, OK? Now, you're fired! I'm representing myself. Good - I'm so tired of you. You're fired. You can't fucking fire me! We will not have cursing in this courtroom. What?! Larry Flynt... How about spitting? Marshal, put a gag on that man. All right, sit down, sir. You bastards! Sit down, Lady. Be seated in the back. Get off me! I want everybody down in this courtroom. All right, Mr Flynt, are you willing to calm down now, sir? Mm-hm. If I take that gag off, will you show me and my courtroom staff the courtesy and respect that we deserve? Mm-hm. All right, marshal. Rrrr! Fuck you, son of a bitch! I've had enough of this. Larry Flynt, you leave me no choice but to sentence you to nine months. Nine months, is that all?! Three more months, then. Fine. Nine months, is that all?! Three more months, then. Fine. Fuck you, Your Honour! Nine months, is that all?! You want more? Larry, Larry stop it. Sit down, lady. Larry Flynt, you are hereby sentenced to 15 months in a federal psychiatric prison. Hey, don't look at me. Ask for bail, counsellor. Can I post bail, Your Honour? No! Now get him out of my courtroom. Fucking bastards! Say those foul words behind four padded walls. Get him on out! SINISTER LAUGHTER BANGING SOUND (Makes banging sound) (Leg irons clank) (DOOR CREAKS OPEN) (BASSY DUB MUSIC PLAYS) (BOTTLES CLINK) Ae. Imagine if Jono kooks it on his way home. Who would get us through Mad Mick's to Boneyards? Far. Boneyards. Sebastian ` he knows everyone. Micky boy! Piss off! Yeah, OK. Ha! Jono's brother? Cain the Mane! (BOTH LAUGH) Whoo! (BOTH LAUGH) The Nek Minnit? (HUMS) # Do, do, do! # ECHOES: Jason Gunn? Hey, Mickity Mickness! Huh? (BOTH GRUNT, GROAN) (CRICKETS CHIRP) Let's get him, bro. Yep. Jono! (WAVES CRASH) Come on, ow. (CHURCH BELLS CHIME) Gentlemen. There's something we'd like to show you, sir. (Laughs) I don't understand. The Reverend would never endorse a liquor company. Well, there's a larger problem. Substantially larger. You see, sir, it says right there that the Reverend, ah, he, ah, um... It says, sir... ..that he fornicated with his mother in an outhouse. Give me a second. Now, what do you boys have for me today? Reverend, I think you need to read this. WOMAN: Give me your jacket, please. (Sighs) Jesus Christ. Stand up, please. Raise your foot. Arms up. Arms what? Arms up. DOOR CLANGS SHUT (Laughs) Larry... ..you look so good. You look like shit. What? Larry... ..I don't want to work at the magazine any more. People there don't listen to me. And they don't talk to me. (Sniffs) They're afraid of me and... ..they don't shake my hand. Larry, I went to Dr Robert and... (Coughs) ..he, ah... ..he told me that I was sick. I mean, sick-sick. I mean, I got AIDS, Larry. And they won't shake your hand? Oh, yes, sir. Yes. (On intercom) Code pink, code pink. Code pink, code pink. Larry, it's Jimmy here. Are you there? Larry? Larry, are you there? LARRY ON PHONE SPEAKER: I have some important announcements to make. How are you doing? How's the hospital treating you? Never mind that. Is everybody there? ALL: Yes, Larry. Good. You're all fired. Larry. Wait a minute here, Larry. You can't fire these people. We need them. Shut up! It's my business and I'll run it into the ground if I want to. OK, that's all, I gotta go. DIAL TONE What the fuck was that?! Just calm down, OK, Arlo? Don't panic on me. None of you guys are fired, all right? But Larry just said that... Yeah, what did Larry say? He's in a nuthouse, right, Chester? I said you're not fired. DOOR OPENS Thank you. Thanks. Jesus, Althea. Hi. Hi. Come on, sit down, sit down. Over there? Are you all right, Mrs Flynt? Fine, thanks. You look, you look different, I don't know. Did you, ah, did you change your hair? (Laughs) Yeah. I changed my hair. Yeah, I like it. Yeah, my hair's different. So, what's up? Um... We got this the other day and I brought it by to see if you would look at it, please. Wow, that is... (clears throat) I mean, this is... It's intense. Yes, it is. What are we gonna do? You're gonna give it to Larry's lawyers, whoever they are. Alan... (Laughs) ..you are our lawyers. You've always been our lawyers. You're part of the family. Don't listen to Larry. You know how he is. I don't know, Althea. We really need your help. Please, please help us. Please. Please. Alan. KNOCKING (Coughs) Boy, this is great, Larry. This is really great. I hope it was worth it. Didn't I fire you? (Laughs) Well, I mean, I've always ignored most of what you said, right? Well, listen, um, I know the timing is lousy but you remember your little Campari ad? Jerry Falwell in the outhouse with his mother? Mmm. Well, he saw it. And, ah, I guess it's safe to say he didn't really find it all that funny. (Laughs) OK, and he is suing you, ah, for libel and intentional infliction of emotional distress. (Laughs) And he is asking for 40 million dollars. This is Jerry Falwell in his home state. So, if you're up to it, we really ought to figure out how you want to deal with this. Counter-sue. What? Yeah, Jerry, he's suing you. He's suing me? For heaven's sakes, on what grounds? Well, you xeroxed his ad and you sent it out in a million fundraising letters. Yeah, so? But you didn't get his permission. And that's copyright infringement. The depth of his depravity sickens me. They're gonna put you on the stand and your testimony is gonna make or break us on this one. Downplay how much you hate Falwell. Make them understand that it was just a joke. (Sings repeatedly) # I'm just a clown... # This will be the most expensive case you've ever had if you lose. OK!!! DOOR OPENS Yes, um... Hi. Reverend Falwell, you're a preacher, is that right? Yes, I am. And as a preacher you speak to a fairly broad audience? You preach on television and on your old-time gospel radio hour? I do. So you've achieved a certain notoriety, one might say, a national reputation for your sermons and your opinions and ideas and your leadership of the moral majority. Yes, our membership is now over five million. OK, but even beyond your membership, really, you've been recognised and awarded for your efforts, all over America. I have a number of honorary degrees. In a recent poll of 'Good Housekeeping' magazine, I was voted second most admired American behind President Reagan. 'Good Housekeeping', that's, that's... I mean, hey, you're famous. Right? Well, I suppose you could say that. Mm-hm. Reverend Falwell, have you ever had sex with your mother? Absolutely not! Never? I mean, you never, never in the outhouse as 'Hustler' magazine suggested? That is an absurd question. My mother was a very Godly woman. And as close to a saint as anyone I have ever known. I'm sure she was. Reverend, have you ever preached while you were drunk? Drunk? Yes. Never. Ha! You never had a few too many at lunch and then went back on the radio? That is a totally outrageous suggestion. Totally outrageous? Totally. You don't think that some people, Reverend Falwell, despite your reputation, might believe that you could do that? I would find that very difficult to believe. So really, what you're telling me is that nobody could reasonably think that these statements about you were true? Yes, that's what I've been saying. OK. Reverend Falwell, at the beginning of this trial, Judge Kirk gave very specific instructions to this jury, OK? She said, quote, "If a reasonable person could not believe "that 'Hustler' magazine describes actual facts about Jerry Falwell, "then you must dismiss the libel claim." You remember these instructions? Obviously not. I'm gonna ask you one more thing. Why are you suing my client for libel? I am not a lawyer, Mr Isaacman. I am a lawyer, OK? And I can't figure it out either. Would you state your full name for the record, please, Mr Flynt? (Clears throat) Yes, sir. Ah, Christopher Columbus Cornwallis IPQ Harvey H and Pay G Pugh. That's very interesting. But are you also known as Larry Flynt? AKA Jesus H. Flynt, esquire. Oh, for Chissakes! Are you the publisher and the editor-in-chief of 'Hustler' magazine? I am the publisher of the most tasteless, sleaziest, most disgusting, greatest porn magazine on the face of the earth. Thank you. I have in my hand Exhibit B, which is a typewritten script of the Campari ad. When you approved this ad, did you have any specific knowledge that the Reverend Falwell had EVER engaged in sexual intercourse with his mother? No. But I have a photograph of Falwell, ah, having fellatio with a sheep. Now, I don't think... Your Honour, my client's in a heavily-medicated, mentally-agitated state. We will stipulate that no such document exists. I have it and Mr Fartwell is a liar, a glutton and a sheepophile. Mr Flynt, my client's name is Jerry Falwell. Jerry Falwell! That's what I said, Jerry Fartwell. Are you trying to hold Reverend Falwell up to ridicule? No. Contempt. Scorn? Ah, truculent. Obloquy? Parlez-vous francais? Oh, je parle le francais mieux que toi, monsieur! Oh, embrasses mon derriere, mon ami. Oh God, my French is so rusty! Bon appetit. (Laughs) Bon appetit. (Laughs) I love her. (Bangs gavel) Quiet in the courtroom. I love you, baby. Jesus loves me. Mr Flynt, do you have an aversion to organised religion? A virgin? No, aversion, aversion. You heard me, Mr Flynt. An aversion to organised religion. I, ah, you bet your sweet ass I do. And do you think that gives you licence to mock the leaders of great religious movements? Well, goddam right. Larry, no. Objection, Your Honour. This is totally irrelevant. Overruled. Free expression is absolute. Thank you, your Honour. Do you agree? (Bangs gavel) Order! Ma'am, if you can't control yourself, you're going to have to leave the courtroom. So that it was your intention to hold Reverend Falwell out to be a hypocrite, wasn't it? Well, that's what he is. But didn't it occur to you that Reverend Falwell must have an integrity that people can believe in, if he is to practise his profession? Yeah. And it was your intent to destroy that integrity and his livelihood, if you could? To assassinate it. Hey, it's me. It's a weird decision. No, he's not guilty of libel, but he is guilty of "inflicting emotional distress". So now Flynt has to pay him $200,000! FALWELL: This ruling shows that nobody can prostitute the First Amendment. Pornography has thrust its ugly head into our everyday lives. The billion-dollar sex industry - of which Larry Flynt is a self-described leader - lust, greed have replaced decency and morality. We must make a solemn commitment to God almighty to turn this nation around immediately... Fuckin' AIDS junkie. (Laughs) You crazy cripple. * Listen, it's just not that funny. It wasn't funny the first time we printed it, either. Guys, I'm certainly open to suggestions. I would suggest that if we are going to recycle it, that we replace the noun... Thought I fired all of you. Jimmy. Come here. Larry...um...I'm sorry if I...tried to run things but...you know, I was just tryin' to protect you. Come here. Closer. Come on! Don't sweat it, bro. I love you. I love you too, man. Larry! Oh. You look great, man! Chester. You remember Althea. Shake her hand. Hey, Althea, you...! Hi, Chester. Hi. Don't sneak up on us! You gave us a heart attack! Yeah, what the hell. Shake Althea's hand. Althea, good to see you. Welcome back. Hello, Becky. Welcome back. Hi, Althea. What do you do? I'm a secretary. Good to see you, Althea. Arlo, hi. (Sings) # We're young and healthy Cross your heart and confess # Happy you and merry me... # (Coughs) # Happy you and merry me... # (Continues coughing) # Though Mr Gloom may chase us # We'll dodge him every day... # (Coughs) # Happy you and merry me. # I got it. Oh, I wanna take my bath. Take my bath. OK, why don't you hop on? I'll give you a ride. Go ahead. Buckle up. Daddy. Yes. Arrhhhh! You're crushing my legs! (Laughs) (Shivers) You're shiverin', baby. Shiverin'. Detour! Oh, no! What are you doing? You're gonna kill us. It's OK. They'll freeze us and thaw us out in the year 3000. (Chuckles) Kerb-side service. That'll be $8.50, lady. (Laughs) Dr Kippert, please. Larry Flynt. Dr Kippert? She doesn't look good. I know, but there's gotta be something more we can do. Some new technology or drug. What are they doing in Europe? You know, money is no object... Thea? Althea?! SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC ALTHEA?! Baby! Baby! Baby! Baby! No! No! Baby! HELP! HELP! MUSIC BUILDS Baby! No! No! Baby! Baby! ORCHESTRAL MUSIC SURGES Baby! No! PRIEST: Jesus said, "I am the way, the truth and the life. "No man comes to the Father but by me. "He that liveth and believeth in me shall never die. "In my father's house are many rooms "and if I go and prepare a place for you, "I will come again and receive you unto myself, "that where I am, there you may be also. "And you will live with me for ever and ever." FALWELL ON TV: You cannot mock God. You cannot fool God. If you violate his laws, God almighty will judge you. AIDS is a plague. These perverted lifestyles have to stop. If you break moral laws, you reap the whirlwind. Alan. It's Larry. I wanna appeal the Falwell case. This is over - over. No, it's not over. We can go higher. Higher? The Supreme Court. Yeah. Give 'em a call. It's not that simple, Larry. It's not that simple. Thousands of people every year petition the Supreme Court. OK? Thousands. And our case is as good as any. Our case is BETTER than most. You're missing my point. My point is, they will NEVER pick you. Because you're a nightmare! They're afraid if they let you in the court, you'll wear a diaper or throw oranges at the Justices. And they should be, Larry, because all the times you've gone to court, you've never once demonstrated any respect for its institutions and procedures. As far as they're concerned, you're a pig! Well, you always said that it's the principle - a pig has the same rights as a President! Yeah, yeah, yeah. People get tired of a pig, Larry. Bullshit! You're scared, Alan. You're scared. You're lettin' these guys steamroll over... Oh, look! It's not just THEM, Larry! OK? It's ME! It's me. I am not taking you. Lawyers DREAM about a case like this at the Supreme Court - dream of it. And they would probably hear us, if you want the truth. But I am not GOING with you. I've been giving you my best since back when people were LAUGHING at you. And every time I come in there now, you fuck me with this bullshit circus act. I won't do it again. I can't. I'm not gonna do it in front of the Supreme Court of the United States. Your sentimental speeches and your cornball patriotism, they just...they don't WORK on me any more, Larry, because I don't believe you. I don't believe you. You...you're my...my friend, Alan. We're friends. I...I...I just... I would love to be remembered for something...meaningful. Any research problems, I encourage you to use my archives. And...tell the Reverend that I've dealt with this filth-monger myself and I wish to offer my support. Is that the Tin Man?! Yes, that's the Tin Man. * REPORTER: God versus the Devil - America's minister versus America's pimp. Today is the showdown. Many were surprised by the High Court's decision to hear Larry Flynt's case but he has some unlikely supporters filing briefs on his behalf, like the 'New York Times', the American Newspaper Publishers Association and the Association of American Editorial... CLERK: All rise. The Honourable the Chief Justice and the Associate Justices of the Supreme Court of the United States. Oh, ye. Oh, ye. Oh, ye. All persons having business before the Honourables of the Supreme Court of the United States are admonished to draw near and give their attention, for this court is now sitting. God save the United States and the Supreme Court. We'll hear the argument first this morning, in number 86-1278, 'Hustler' Magazine and Larry C. Flynt versus Jerry Falwell. Mr Isaacman, you may proceed whenever you're ready. Mr Chief Justice and may it please the court, one of the most cherished ideas that we hold in this country is that there should be uninhibited public debate and freedom of speech. Now, the question you have before you today is whether a public figure's right to protection from emotional distress should outweigh the public interest in allowing every citizen of this country to freely express his views. But what WAS the view expressed in Exhibit A? Well, to begin with, this is a parody of a known Campari ad. I understand. Go ahead. OK. Also and more importantly, it was a satire of a public figure, Jerry Falwell, who in this case was a prime candidate for such a satire, because he's such an unlikely person to appear in a liquor ad. This is a person that we are used to seeing at the pulpit, Bible in hand, preaching with a famously beatific smile on his face. But what is the public interest you're describing? That there is some interest in making him look ludicrous? Yes, yes, Your Honour, there is a public interest in making Jerry Falwell look ludicrous, in so far as there is a public interest in having 'Hustler' Magazine express the point of view that Jerry Falwell is full of B.S. And...and...'Hustler' Magazine has every right to express this view. They have the right to say that somebody who has campaigned actively against our magazine, who has told people not to buy it, who has publicly said that it poisons the minds of Americans, who, in addition, has told people that sex out of wedlock is immoral, that they shouldn't drink. 'Hustler' Magazine has a First Amendment right to publicly respond to these comments by saying that Jerry Falwell is full of B.S. It says, "Let's deflate this stuffed shirt "and bring him down to our level." Our level, in this case, being a lower level than most people would like to be brought to. GENTLE LAUGHTER I apologise. I know I shouldn't joke. But that's sort of the point. Mr Isaacman, the First Amendment is not everything. I mean, it's a very important value but it's not the only value in our society. What about another value which says that good people should be able to enter public life and public service? The rule you give us says that if you stand for public office or become a public figure in any way, you cannot protect yourself - or, indeed, your mother - against a parody of you committing incest with her in an outhouse. Do you think that George Washington would have stood for public office if that was the consequence? It's interesting that you mention George Washington, Justice Scalia, because recently I saw a political cartoon that's over 200 years old. It depicts George Washington riding on a donkey, being led by a man and the caption suggests that this man is leading an ass to Washington. I can handle that. LAUGHTER I think George can handle that. LAUGHTER But that's a far cry from committing incest with your mother in an outhouse. LAUGHTER I mean, there's no line between the two? Ah...no, Justice Scalia. I would say there is no line between the two, because you're talking about a matter of taste and not law. As you yourself said in Pope vs Illinois, "It's useless to argue about taste "and even more useless to litigate it." And that is the case here. The jury has already determined that this IS a matter of taste, not law, because they've said that there is no libellous speech, that nobody could reasonably believe that 'Hustler' was actually suggesting that Jerry Falwell had sex with his mother. Why did 'Hustler' have him and his mother together? 'Hustler' puts him and his mother together in an...example of literary... travesty, if you will. And what public purpose does this serve? Well, it serves the same public purpose as having Garry Trudeau say that Reagan has no brain or that George Bush is a wimp. It lets us look at public figures a bit differently. We have a long tradition in this country of satiric commentary. Now, if Jerry Falwell can sue when there has been no libellous speech purely on the grounds of emotional distress, then so can other public figures. Imagine, if you will, suits against people like Garry Trudeau and Johnny Carson for what he says on the 'Tonight Show' tonight. Obviously, when people criticise public figures, they're going to experience emotional distress. We all know that. It's the easiest thing to claim and it's impossible to refute. That's what makes it a meaningless standard. Really, all it does is allow us to punish unpopular speech. And this country is founded, at least in part, on the firm belief that unpopular speech is absolutely vital to the health of our nation. Thank you, Mr Isaacman. Reverend, are you confident that you will win this case? Absolutely. There's no way the Supreme Court will take the side of a sleaze merchant like Larry Flynt. Mr Keating, why are YOU here today? To show support for those people who believe that pornography should be outlawed. Because if the First Amendment will protect a... What did Grutman call me? Scumbag. ..scumbag like me, well, it will protect ALL of you. Because I'm the worst. Larry, do you have any regrets? Only one. SOMBRE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC MUSIC BUILDS GENTLY (Althea laughs) Larry. (Althea laughs) ORCHESTRAL MUSIC BUILDS (Laughing) Larry! MUSIC BUILDS MUSIC PEAKS AND SUBSIDES (Althea laughs) ALTHEA: Larry. LUSH ORCHESTRAL MUSIC PHONE RINGS MUSIC LOWERS IN VOLUME Hello. It's Alan. They just brought their decision in. Well, is it good or bad? Well, it's a unanimous decision, Larry, and Rehnquist wrote it himself. Is it good or bad? I want you to hear this. "At the heart of the First Amendment "is the recognition of the fundamental importance "of the free flow of ideas. "Freedom to speak one's mind is not only an aspect of individual liberty "but essential to the quest for truth "and the vitality of society as a whole. "In the world of debate about public affairs, "many things done with motives that are less than admirable "are nonetheless protected by the First Amendment." So, we won? Yes, we did. We won. Thank you, Alan. Thank you. Don't mention it. We won, baby. CHORAL SINGING (Laughs) Strip for me, baby. (Laughs) Why? So when you're old and ugly, you can look back at this. (Laughs) I'm never gonna be old and ugly, Larry. YOU'RE gonna be old and ugly. GENTLE CHORAL SINGING AND ORCHESTRA CHOIR CONCLUDES EERIE ELECTRONIC MUSIC 'DREAM WEAVER' PLAYS (Gary Wright sings) # I've just closed my eyes again # Climbed aboard the dream weaver train # Driver, take away my worries of today # And leave tomorrow behind # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe you can get me through the night # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe we can reach the morning light # Fly me high through the starry skies # Maybe to an astral plane # Cross the highways of fantasy # Help me to forget today's pain # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe you can get me through the night # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe we can reach the morning light # Though the dawn may be comin' soon # There still may be some time # Fly me away to the bright side of the moon # And meet me on the other side # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe you can get me through the night # Ooh, dream weaver # I believe we can reach the morning light # Dream weaver # Dream weaver Supertext Subtitles Copyright 1997 Australian Caption Centre www.auscap.com.au Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019