(SIREN WAILS) You're being held for attempted robbery. What robbery? This won't be forgotten. Bank on that. Check there's no one here. Are you a rapist? I'm a robber. (BOTH GASP ORGASMICALLY) This comes back to us, it's on your head. Got it? You're sick of me? It's not you, it's me. I hate your guts, Eric! (CHUCKLES) Pricks. Stealing from me. One of them was called Eric. (SATISFIED SIGH) (MOANS) And do you have a name? Sparky, you gave up Allen Markham? Jesus. And the boss one, they called him Wolf West. But my boss is powerful. Wolf and them have pissed him off, and that pissed-off-ness has spread to the whole West family. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019 (SOFT ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC) (HEART MONITOR BEEPS) No change? Minty's here, getting coffee. They arrested anyone yet? No. No headway there. Jesus, it's a prison. How hard can it be? Rita, you know fights like this break out all the time. Look at him. Look at the state of his fists. Ted wasn't fighting. He was a target. And if the cops hadn't locked him up for no reason, none of this would have happened. Well, that's what I've been telling them, Rita. Hence the good news. The court's agreed to bring forward Ted's deposition hearing. To when? This morning. I'm headed down there now. Not without me you're not. Oh, I'm` I'm sure that won't be necessary. Like fuck it won't. The pigs tried to shaft me at the last hearing. They're not doing it again. OK, but could you please keep calling them pigs to their faces to a minimum? Don't worry, love. I will bloody sort whoever did this. To Ted. Ted. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) I hope they lock up the guys that smashed him. Well, it happened in prison, mate, so I think they got that covered. Any ideas why he got the bash? Nope. Not some job you guys did? Oh, we haven't done any jobs in ages. And with Ted out of action... You're actually just lucky you're earning money. To tell you the truth, working for Mr Figgs ain't that flash. Then why don't you quit? I can't. I've gotta keep saving my money to buy Carol back. Yeah, right. Eh, it's still not in your caravan is it? Where else would I keep it? A bank, like I said. I'm keeping it somewhere way safer. Under your mattress? In my kettle. Bloody genius, Phineas. Yeah. Bloody genius. Still can't stop thinking about Ted. Someone must have had it in for him really bad, eh. Or they hated the Wests for some reason. Poor bastard. Don't bother. Do not fuck with me, Riana. I am not in the mood today. Easy. I mean don't bother going in because I've dropped the case. What? Hang on, I got a call this morning saying Ted's deposition hearing had been brought forward. It had. But then the police prosecutor took another look and decided a trial wasn't justified. Now that Ted's had the shit kicked out of him while he was on remand, while you tried to pin your bullshit charges on him. Rita. Given Ted's priors, the arrest was completely legal. And I'm sorry about what happened to Ted. Bloody hell, Rita. What are you gonna do, eh? Arrest me too so I can get the shit kicked outta me too? Jesus, Rita. (EXHALES) She had that fuckin' coming. This won't take long, will it, Phineas? I was hoping to get out on the water this arvo. (CLEARS THROAT) No, sir. I'm just dotting the T's, if you know the expression. Thing is, my old mate Ted West, he, uh, got a hiding in prison a few days back. They messed him up, real bad. Oh, that's no good. Nah. It's not. Still, it's prison. If you end up in the slammer, I guess you're gonna risk a bit of a tune-up. You didn't happen to have anything to do with it, did you? Jesus Christ, Phineas. Who do you think I am? I think you're a powerful guy with lots of contacts. What? Sort of contacts that can organise a prison hit? Is that what you're saying? (OMINOUS MUSIC) I dunno. Phineas, even if I did such a thing, I wouldn't go admitting it to you, would I? Probably not. And if I did send the Wests a little message, I'd have reasonable grounds for doing so. Go away! Go away! (CHILD SCREAMS) (VAN AND JETHRO SHOUT EXCITEDLY) (BABY CRIES) Perfect (!) Shh. Shh. Oh, hey, Rita. How is he? The same. Did they shine the light in his eyes again? He's the bloody same, all right? Just not under arrest any more. Well, that's good. I don't wanna talk about it, OK? I just wanna sit down by myself for a minute. (BABY CONTINUES TO CRY) I wouldn't go in your room. Van drew all over the walls. And not with crayons. Oh, for fuck's sake. (KNOCK AT THE DOOR) Hey, Rita. Phineas. I was hoping we could have a quiet word. (VAN AND JETHRO SHOUT HAPPILY) Well, you've come to the wrong place if you want quiet, but sure. So, you're saying that this Figgs arsehole admitted to ordering Ted's beating? Not really. In fact, he was all kind of innocent about it. But then he gave me heaps of reasons why he could have done it. You and I both know the young West and his freak mates did a number on my family. (SCOFFS) So in other words, he bloody did it. Because of one pissy little burglary, my husband is nearly dead. I think he's also pissed off because Eric violated his daughter's innocence. Krystle's now saying that skinny fuck with the perm took advantage of her innocence. Well, apparently Wolf's gang took Krystle hostage and then Eric took advantage of her. So you appreciate the position the Wests have put me in and why I might feel like hurting them a little bit. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (LASER GUNS BLIP) Boom! (LAUGHS) You will never get me. (SHOUTING AND LAUGHTER) (LASER GUNS BLIP) Pew, pew, pew! Oh. (CLEARS THROAT) It's called laser tag, Mrs Rita. (LAUGHS) It's like being in the army, except with lasers. Yeah, we got 'em for Van and Jethro, but we thought we should give it a bit of a test run first. We've been testing now for three hours. We can conclude that it's awesome. The future of games. What the fuck did you idiots do to Frankie Figgs' daughter? Who's Frankie Figgs? The warehouse you turned over. Oh, right. And which daughter are we talking about? The bull dyke who punched me in the face? The words 'violated' and 'innocence' were used. Violated? Sounds like Krystle. Uh, in my defence, all violations were mutual and there is nothing innocent about that girl. What did you do? Well, I started off with a bit of a sexy dance and then I motor-boated her titties for a while` Yeah. OK. The fact is, whatever you did, she went crying to her father about it, and because of that, Ted is in hospital. No. You made an enemy of this guy's daughter, and Ted suffered the consequences. Well, I swear, Rita, I never did anything that she didn't want me to do. Except dump her. Yeah. Except that. What are you gonna do to deal with the consequences Mr Ted has suffered? We, Sparky, are gonna get revenge. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) This is far too fucking early to be running around like lapdogs just because Madam calls. (REGGAE MUSIC) Frankie Figgs. On paper, he's a local businessman. Extremely well connected. Even has mates in prison, as it turns out. The woman is his daughter Bianca. She's the president of the West Auckland Business Association, WABA. And the evil cow who attacked me when I wasn't ready. Several times. Him, his family, they used my husband to try to scare us off. So now it's our turn to tell Mr Figgs and his mates that we're here to stay. What do you want us to do? Quite simple. If he thinks we're criminals, then we're gonna say 'fuck, yeah,' and we're gonna unleash a crime wave the likes of which they've never seen. Uh, a selection of Figgs' friends and associates and their addresses. We're going after these people. Why can't we just deal to the bastard? He sent his message, we send ours. You want him to know it's us? Absolutely. And I get cops swarming all over The Galleria every day? Maybe. But they won't find anything. Cash, we keep. Cars, Bert, you cut them, flick the parts if you can; otherwise, torch them. Everything else gets dumped. But that's sacrilege. This is for Ted, not for the money. Isn't that just gonna piss this guy off even more? I bloody hope so. He needs to know that the Wests will not be pushed around. (ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC) (GROANS) I'm gonna make things right, Rita. I swear. (CAR HORN HONKS) Come on! How long, Rita? Sorry? How long are you planning on fighting this guy? Depends on him. If he's a fast learner, shouldn't take too long. And you didn't think to maybe run this past us first? Us? Me, Wolf, your family. Can't say it crossed my mind. Well, it should have. Oh. Well, if I'd known I'd have to answer to you, in my own house. He knows where we live, right? What's to stop him turning up here with a bunch of his goons in tow? If that happens, then we deal with it. There are fuckin' kids living here, Rita. Your grandkids. You're OK with putting them in the middle of this? Newsflash, Blondie, he put us all in the middle of this when he did what he did to Ted. Fucking hell. Dragging us all into some kind of war. What about you. Are you OK with this? It's a family thing. We let him get away with this, he'll walk all over us. Our kids, Wolf. Our kids are not safe here. Fuck's sake. (SCOFFS) Don't look at me. She's your wife. Are you seriously going to go along with this fucking, fucking insane idea? Doing nothing is not an option, Cheryl. But going to war with him? That is off-the-scale batshit crazy, even by Rita's standards. My father is in hospital half-dead because of that man. I get that. I truly get that. So, what are we meant to do? Wolf, this guy's dangerous. And we can look after ourselves. And our kids? Can they look after themselves? I can't walk away from this, Cheryl. Not after what he did. You take the kids. Go stay with your mum until all this is over. Come with me. Leave Rita to take her revenge. It's not just her who wants revenge. Van, get in the car. (VAN SHOUTS) Oi, go around the other side. Sit by your brother. At least there'll be some bloody peace and quiet around here now. (ENGINE STARTS) (VAN AND JETHRO SHOUT) (SIGHS) (CAR ALARM BLARES, STOPS) (UPBEAT PUNK MUSIC PLAYS ON CAR RADIO) (ENGINE STARTS, REVS) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (LIQUID SLOSHES) Sparky, you glorious weirdo. (MOANS EROTICALLY) (GRUNTS ORGASMICALLY) That's Mansfield Place sorted? Good, good. OK, Bert, next up is a Jag at 99 Glover St. My understanding is they're at ladies' night at the Mercury, so you're good to go. (MULTIPLE SIRENS BLARE OUTSIDE) Sounds like Rita's boys have already started. How so? Well, from the bathroom there's a symphony of alarms going off. Aren't you supposed to be contributing to this crimefest? I am. Is that so? Running around in the middle of the night, stealing antiques from old people? Fuck that for a game of coconuts. Nope. There are other ways of getting to these bastards. It's called research. Know thine enemy. Says here that the West Auckland Business Association's having their monthly wine and cheese tomorrow night. All local business owners are welcome. And you're a local business owner, are you? By tomorrow night, hell yeah, I am. Oh, you're going to infiltrate them are you? Know thine enemy. Or is it just her you want to infiltrate? No. (SNIFFS, SIGHS) Then what's with the stiffy I'm sitting on, then? That's all because of you, babe. Aha. Sitting there, all sexy like. It's only natural. Oh. Is that so? OK. Now you're just making it worse to make a point. You know, I think you should go to this wine and cheese thing. Really? Mm-hmm. With your wife and business partner, of course. Yeah, yeah. Good idea, hon. (GRUNTS) Well, I think we can assume the message has been sent. Could be profitable too, once Bert chops the cars. It's not about the money. Doesn't hurt, though. You think when Figgs puts two and two together, he'll point the pigs our way? I don't know who he's got in his pocket, do I? Assume everyone. I'll know more today. (INHALES SHARPLY) Ah, a friend of a friend used to do odd jobs around Frankie's property. I'm meeting him later. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Hey, Rita. Phineas. Thanks for coming around. No. Thank you. Hey, Bilks. I know what it is that you wanna talk about. You do? And I've decided that I can't keep working for someone who would do that to Ted. So I'm out. No, you're not. Well, no, but I will be once I tell him I'm quitting. No, Phineas, you're not. I want to, for Ted. No, you don't. Yeah, I do. Jesus. Phineas, that is the exact opposite of what I want you to do. It is? I need you to keep your job. But Mr Figgs is the enemy. But I need eyes on the inside. Like a spy. Exactly. A double agent. Like have you been around to his house this morning? Yeah. A bunch of us got called in. And did Figgs say anything to you? No. He's been in his office all morning on the phone. ...you're not exactly the first person... Yeah. The phone's been going all morning, like something's up. See? You're a natural. I am? Like James Bond. (GRUNTS) (SIGHS) There's so much about this that feels wrong. Yeah. It's like throwing money to its doom. And it is all your fault. Having your way with the Figgs daughter and then cruelly dumping her. Can I just say I love this war? 28 letterboxes in one night, it's like my new personal record. Yeah. I shudder to think at the state of your penis. I don't think it's entirely Eric's fault. Really? Well, what you did was shabby and sleazy, and it'd probably help if you made things right there. But I don't think this is about him or the job we did. We were just following orders. Exactly. So it's Sparky's fault for dobbing Allen Markham in. Eh? (SIGHS) Does it really matter? Mr Ted is still in a coma and this still feels wrong. (GRUNTS) Ah, fo` Oh, let me guess, that chunky bloke that was having a wank while your letterbox was on fire, was he wearing a ski mask? Yeah, there was a bit of it going around last night. (INHALES) Yeah, well at least you were at home and didn't get your house cleaned out like Bruce and Nev. And the rest. Oh, I dunno. Their wives wanted to take 'em to some play. About blokes taking their clothes off. Yeah, and then they get home to that. Talk about a shit night out. Yeah. I'll see what I can do. (GRUNTS) One of those retards who runs with the West family? Mrs West is making a statement. (INHALES) She's got more balls than Susan Devoy, I'll give her that. Jim, Figgsie. How's things with the council, mate? Kicking goals, are we? (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) Heya. What the fuck are you doing here? Oh, hey, Krystle. I need to ask you a question. The answer is no, you didn't get it from me. No, not that. Uh, I haven't got anything. I just need to know what happened with Ted West. Did that have anything to do with me and you? You mean how you dumped me? And so your dad sent some guys to beat Ted up. Well, he was pretty angry. The way some arsehole guy treated his favourite daughter. Really angry, actually. So, is there anything that I can do to make things right? You know, before things get out of control. Such as? Well, when I had a look at it, inside of myself, I did wonder if... I'd made a bit of a mistake. And now what? What, you think you can just hang outside my school like a kiddie-fiddler and I'll welcome you back? Hey, you know, whatever makes things right. Sorry, Eric. You're gonna have to do better than that. Cos I'm not the kind of girl you can just pick up and drop when you feel like it. So if you wanna make things right, you gotta earn it. How? Jewellery's nice. Get me something sparkly, for starters. (GROANS QUIETLY) TV: Earlier today, Prime Minister Lange and Finance Minister Douglas ruled out election-year gifts in the budget. (WATER GURGLES) (ZAP) (SIGHS) OK. So you do have connections. Game fuckin' on. - This is so you! - (CHORTLES) (BIRDS SING OUTSIDE) - Life is beautiful. (PHONE TRILLS) - (PHONE CHIMES) - Hey! - Gorgeous. - (CLICK!) - Have you seen this? - This is so you! - (CHORTLES) - Five new likes. - How are you even real? - Hotdogs or legs? - So much prettier. - ...meeting request. - Matt waved at you. - (DING!) - Did you see his video? - Did you hear the news? - It's going viral. - Mystique started following you. - You have a` You have a` - You have a match. - Wish Jack a happy birthday. - Happy birthday, Jack! - Happy birthday, Jack! - Sold out. - New season arrivals. - Yasss, queen. - Someone tagged you. - Plans for tonight? - SING-SONGS: Plans for tonight! - Sorry, did you say something? - Sign the petition. - Don't forget` - Are you paying attention? - Oi. Are you even listening? - I'm right here! - Software update. - Important! - Please reply ASAP! - SOLITARY VOICE: Hello? (CLICK!) (EERIE MUSIC) (SIGHS SOFTLY) (PEOPLE CHAT) Look at these people. WABA. What does that stand for again? Wankers, Arseholes, Bitches and` More Arseholes, I think. Hey. Isn't that whatshisface, Wolf's mate? He used to deliver the paper. Unhappy paperboy. So, what exactly is our plan again? Well, I'm thinking the way to get the real deal on Figgs Sr is to get close to Figgs the daughter. And how close are you planning to get, Lefty? Close as it takes. Such as when your dick is inside her? Hey. This is about Ted. This is about vengeance. So we do what it takes to get what we need. You're a fucking martyr. Ugh. Or we could let her drink a couple of glasses of this. That'd be punishment enough. I need the bathroom. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Did you phone the power board? Phoned every fucker under the sun. Apparently, we haven't paid any bills for months, anywhere, according to their records. And have we? Well, I don't know, do I? Yes, Wolf. The bills are all paid. Give me a couple of hours, I can rig up something from the neighbour's next door. (SIGHS) I think we're OK for now, Sparky. Quite like the candles. (TELEPHONE RINGS) Yup? Rita. It's P. Phineas? The quick brown fox is about to blow your house down. You don't have to use code, Phineas. It's just you and me. Are you sure? Phineas, why did you call? It's Frankie. He knows you're behind all the burgs. Good. And? I heard him talking to some of the boys about it. He's sending a few around to your place. When? (LOUD KNOCK AT DOOR) Never mind. Thanks for the early warning (!) (INTENSE MUSIC) Can I help you boys? Got a message for you. Oh, how lovely. But I don't invite strangers into my house at night. Just not my policy. So why don't you take your message and piss off. Yeah, you heard the lady. Remove yourselves from the property. (GROANS IN SURPRISE AND PAIN) Oh, again? For fuck's sake. (MOANS) I know that Waitakere has a bit of a reputation out in the world. Even today on the radio there was talk of a crime wave out here. But I've always felt that the true spirit of West Auckland lives in its local business owners. People like Paul, from Paul's Packaging. And Trevor, from Trevor's Tyres. People like us. Living proof that when a community does good, it does good business. So let's get busy, everybody, making the West the place we know it can be. Thank you. You used to deliver my paper. I wanna sell cars. Markham's Auto Imports. Just need a loan to start up. From her? She fuckin' owes me. You're a friend of the Wests, aren't you? Can neither confirm nor deny. Ah, they can go to hell as well. That was some speech. Thank you. What you said about doing our business together, as a West Auckland business owner, it really hit home. Rusty, Rusty's Rentals. Oh. You must be new in town. Started down south but we got too big so we had to move up north. (CHUCKLES) A bit of a problem for me all around, actually. What is? Being big, down south. So you moved up north? Well, yes. Or was that you trying to tell me you're well endowed? It was a joke. Was it? You sure about that? Yes. Sorry. So you're not well endowed, that's what you're saying? Would it make any difference if I was? I dunno. I dunno anything about the rental business. Depends what you're renting, I guess. Oh, I don't pay for it, if that's what you mean. Everybody pays for it in the end, Rusty. (WHIMPERS) It hurts. Don't be a baby. Here. All right. You've had your fun. So what's this message? You lot need to know that you've messed with the wrong` Yeah, messed with the wrong people. Blah blah blah. Back the fuck away from my mother. Oh, you wanna go, do ya? Maybe I do. Maybe we all do. BOTH: Surprise! Carol. And Brian. Sorry to call unannounced. We just got back and we saw the door was open. How was Club Med? Just exquisite, Rita. They've got everything there in the one resort, so you never have to leave. Brian went windsurfing, didn't you, Brian? I did, yeah. And I did some archery. (LAUGHS) But, uh, Brian got quite sunburned, so we had to spend a couple of days in the cabana til it calmed down, didn't we? Yeah. But then, we got towed behind a boat on a giant inflatable banana. (CHUCKLES) It was hilarious. Oh, and I got you this present. Brian picked it from the souvenir shop, didn't you, Brian? But you don't have to open it now; you have visitors. Garth. Sensei. You two know each other? Oh, he trains at my dojo. Garth-san is showing a lot of potential. Thank you, sensei. I'll pass on your message. See you Tuesday, yeah? Goodnight, guys. See you. Nice guy. Not so nice, Mr Brian. Yeah, he just knocked Eric out cold. No, I never lost consciousness. Oh, that doesn't sound right. Garth would only use violence as a last resort, it` it's part of his training. You two want a nightcap? Twist my rubber arm. (LAUGHS) OK, that was a bit tense. Just a little misunderstanding. I like the candles. (FUNKY SYNTH MUSIC) Oh, there you are. I've been looking for you everywhere. Oh, I assumed you'd be infiltrating Miss Figgs. Doesn't make sense, love. It's like she's blind or deaf or something. Married? No ring. I checked. You wouldn't think it to look at her, but I reckon there's a good chance she's a lezzy. A lesbian? Not into guys. Makes sense. Or just not that into you, Lefty. Have you considered that? OK, then, prove me wrong. All right? You want me to seduce her? Oh, you're lookin' fuckin' hot, so I bet she'll be all over you like a rash. Well, with sexy talk like that it's a wonder she's not gobbling your knob as we speak. You know what I mean. I'm Rusty. Yes, you are. Rusty, from Rusty's Rentals. In case she asks. This war is not gonna work. I thought we were winning. I beg to differ. What do we do next, huh? Hit his mates again? So what? He doesn't give a shit. We either hit him so bad that he gets the message or we flag it away. Hit him how? And where? And hitting someone who has the power over light and dark and running water does seem risky. Well, fire teaches people lessons. Sparky, try and expand your mind beyond burning shit down. Blokes like Frankie have massive insurance policies. We burn down his house, he just builds a bigger one. So what do you want to do then? Hey, whatever it is, do you think we can get some jewellery out of it? For Krystle. I'm tryna clean up that whole situation, but she's saying I've got to get her something sparkly. Oh, I bet Figgs has expensive gold rings. You want to steal his jewels and then give them to his daughter? Yeah, well, you know, we'll melt them down first, then make new rings out of them, obviously. It's a pity we gave away our gold-melting machine. Oh, for fuck's sakes. Bianca, darling. Hello. You have no idea what a big fan I am of all the wonderful things you and your family are doing for our community here in the Wild West. That is good to know. You are so much better than that idiot with his concrete mixer. Wasn't that the most embarrassing thing ever? I think Mayor Shadbolt has some good intentions. Oh, but he makes us all look like hicks. Don't you agree? You're Rusty's wife, right? Oh, yes. But I'm very much my own woman. Good to know. Yeah, a woman who sees something or someone that she wants and just goes for it. Someone? Sometimes. Depends on the someone. And the somewhere. Ah, I see you've met my lovely wife. Isn't she beautiful? Ravishing. I've always said so. I don't suppose you'd fancy joining us for a drink afterwards, would you, Bianca? Oh, VBG. Or somewhere local, you know, dear, out west where we live. Tempting, but can I just ask a question? Fire away. But I'm pretty sure the answer will be yes. How's Ted West getting on in hospital? (TENSE MUSIC) Believe it or not, I am truly sorry about what happened to him. That's pretty rich, considering you lot put him in there. Sometimes people just need to be reminded about where they fit in the scheme of things. It's nothing personal. (THE BODY ELECTRIC'S 'PULSING') I just thought of a job we could do to stick it to the man. So did I. Me too. OK. Let's all say our ideas on the count of three. Ready? One,... two,... three. It wasn't easy, Rita. These WABA wine and cheese evenings are more intense than they look. Clearly, given the state of you. I ate a dodgy vol-au-vent. The whole night was dodgy, really. But did you actually learn anything? People are a bit worried about the crime wave out west. Any actual fucking useful information? Well, the main thing we learned is that Bianca Figgs is most probably a gay. Or not. (SIGHS) We were out of our depth, Rita. The only other person we knew was Wolf's mate. What mate? The paperboy with the dicky neck. Allen Markham? That's the one. Looked like he was hitting on Bianca, but she moved him on pretty quickly. No, he wanted a loan. Reckoned she owed him. He said to say hello to the Wests. (KNOCK AT DOOR) Look, I told you, Wolf. I'm on the straight and narrow now. Cars, remember? I'm not here about a job. Oh, thank Christ for that. You should be getting out of the game too, before some bastard dobs on ya. Why does Bianca Figgs owe you? Look, that's, n` That's none of your business. (YOWLS) Why does Bianca Figgs owe you, Allen? (MOANS) (SULTRY ROCK) (WATER GURGLES) (KNOCK AT DOOR) Good morning, Rita. It was till you showed up. What do you want? Over the last day or so we've had a large number of complaints about crimes in the area. Burglaries, car thefts, arson. Gosh. What is the world coming to? And there's the matter of the missing chains. You've lost me. You don't have any information about the whereabouts of the Waitakere Mayoral Chains? Has Shadbolt lost them again? They were stolen last night. Who the fuck, in their right minds, would wanna steal the Mayoral Chains? Holy Moses. How the hell did we steal those? And why? This was some powerful strong weed. Mrs West, we know they were stolen by someone in this house. How? Because the offenders spray-painted the words 'Free Ted West' on the wall of the office. Does that mean that technically you're the mayor now? Either that or I have always been the mayor and the rest of my life has been a mere illusion. Hey, do you think that I could have those? (GASPS) Be my guest. Being mayor is doing my head in. RITA: Ted's a popular guy. Coulda been anyone. Or let me put this another way. Have either of you got a warrant to search this place? Then you pissing off is what happens next. (GROANS) Oh, fuck... Of course. I let myself in. Hope you don't mind. Burglars are much more polite these days. You are? Wolfgang West. (LAUGHS MIRTHLESSLY) Of course. You look better without the balaclava. You want a drink? It's a bit early for me. Come on. You've broken into my office. Least you can do is have a drink with me. How's your dad getting on? Sorry about what happened to him. OK, Bianca. This is where we cut the bullshit. Yeah, I was wondering when we'd get to that. My father is in hospital because of you. Hate to stop you there, junior, but you were the one stealing from my father. So it could be argued that any fault there lies with you. Allen Markham gave us a list of what to steal. You gave him that list. Allen gave you up in a heartbeat. What I don't get, Bianca, is I bet all the stuff we stole was covered by the insurance company. Am I right? You're not wrong. So Frankie gets paid, you get paid, and I get paid. So if nobody loses, then why the fuck does my father get the shit beaten out of him? I tried to talk my dad out of it, I swear. It turns out that he takes people stealing from him very personally. Wonder how he'd feel finding out that you stole from him. (SCOFFS) He'd never believe that. I dunno. I can be very convincing when I try. So, what do you want, young Mr West? What I want is to put your father in the hospital. An eye for an eye. That's never gonna happen. You'll never get near him. He's got guys that could snap you in half. Then this building, which I guess you own, will burn to the ground. And on and on it goes and nobody wins. Stalemate, then. Stalemate. So maybe you and I, we need to have this drink. Talk about how to end this here... and now. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Where the hell did you get this from? Never mind that. What do you think? It's not quite what I meant, Eric. Oh, but I think it's real gold plating. And you stole this for me? Yep. (GROANS) Ah, fuck. Let's go. What? Where? Back to your place. What? No, I just want to make sure` Shut up. Take me home. Root me. Got it? Yep. Yeah. If you insist. (GASPS) Tell me I'm the mayor. (GROANS) You're the mayor. (MOANS) Damn right, I'm the mayor... (GRUNTS) ...of you. (GASPS ORGASMICALLY) Yeah, yeah. (SQUEALS CLIMACTICALLY) (BOTH PANT) (BOTH SIGH CONTENTEDLY) Where are you going? Away from you, you repulsive slug. What? As if I'd want anything to do with you after the way you treated me. Well, I thought the chains, shiny things... I just wanted you to steal something for me, dickwad. And you did, you pussy. And now I'm the one... who gets to dump you. Loser. (SIGHS) (DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) WHISPERS: Yes! (GROANS) Good work, Phineas. Get in. We're going for a ride. Now? Yeah, now. We're gonna see some friends of yours. (TENSE MUSIC) (ENGINE STARTS) Did you manage to talk to your friend? Ah, yes. Does fraud, bribery and corruption spin your wheels? (KNOCK AT DOOR) Knock, knock. Fuck off. Oh. The joke more traditionally goes 'who's there?' I prefer my version. Pity. I'll only take a second of your time. Been a hell of a week, innit? Not sure what you're talking about. Your little crime spree was quite disruptive. All those fine automobiles vanished into thin air. Still no idea what you're talking about. You and I, we're at odds, Rita. But it doesn't have to be that way. I was hoping we could find a way to... meet in the middle. Make a compromise. What do you say to that? I say I'll get back to you when I know if my husband is alive or dead. You're a tough woman, Rita West. And I respect that. But we both know that this can't carry on forever. So why don't you tell me what it'll take to end this? What I want is for you to get out of West Auckland and never come back. (SCOFFS) But I love this place with all my heart, Rita. I'm never gonna leave. And neither are we. Then we clearly need to come to some sort of an arrangement. A truce. You live your life... and I live mine. We leave each other alone. And as a gesture of goodwill... (WATER RUNS) Turns out there was a mistake in the accounts department. The power will follow ` if we have a deal. A truce? Yeah. Maybe the start of something productive and beautiful. Don't get your hopes up. And what's your choice, Phineas? Eh? You can't play for both teams. Thought as much. The boys were disappointed when I told them you'd be leaving. Toodle-pip. (DOOR SHUTS) (SCOFFS) So what were you saying about fraud and corruption? What happened to truce? A truce is just a pause in the fighting. Time to change strategies. (ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY, ALL WHOOP AND LAUGH) (MUSIC STOPS) Oh. Whatever it is, it wasn't us. I'm not here to give you any grief. I've got another job for you. You name it. We live to serve. Good. Cos I need you to get arrested. You what? The manager reckons it was a bunch of big guys, about an hour ago. You didn't think to stop them? Well, he was pretty clear about them being big. He said they said something about loyalty. They took my Carol money. Which is not good. Don't worry. We can sort this out, OK? What the hell is going on? I told Phineas he could stay here until he gets back on his feet. Call it the price of loyalty. (HEART MONITOR BEEPS, RESPIRATOR PUMPS) (SOMBRE ELECTRIC GUITAR MUSIC) Thanks, love. (SIGHS SOFTLY) How long have I been in here? (SIGHS WITH RELIEF) (WHIMPERS) Too long, love. (SNIFFLES) I don't know why I'm here. It's not important now. (DOOR SHUTS) He's back. There's someone you have to meet. Look who it is. It's Grandpa. Sh- She's dead. Helena. She's` No, she died. I know she died. Love, love. This is Pascalle, your new granddaughter. If I don't do the job I don't want your bloody pity. How long's he gonna be like this? I think he's on another planet sometimes. What about me, eh? Where's my head at? You're not worried about leaving the kids with Rochelle? He could have died. (LAUGHS) Jethro, where's your brother? She just turns up, desperate to help out a total stranger, at a time where we can't trust anyone. Thanks for the lift. And the cash. I knew this plan was doomed without Ted. Piece of... (CHAINSAW ROARS)