OK, let's do it. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019 HORN BLARES RADIO: We have you eastbound, in pursuit of tanker. Back-up is available. Air Unit Three's in the area. I can handle this myself. This is Air Unit Three. Drop back, Tango. Drop dead! I've been on this case three months. SIREN BLARES We're out of our jurisdiction, Tango. Whatever you're gonna do, do it now! Good luck. Thanks. Over. Jesus! Shit! This guy's crazy! Shit! Oooph! Arrghh! Glad you could drop in. You like jewellery? Fuck you. I prefer blondes. Do the honours. Shit. Ray. Hey, Captain. What's going on? Just letting the locals do their thing. You blew out that window. There are two guys lying here. I noticed. We've got two guys lying on the road. I noticed. We're out of our jurisdiction. True. So what the hell's going on? I heard a rumour about this truck. It's a gas truck. It's a major moving violation. Did you check the first panel? It's full of gas. We checked the whole truck, asshole, and there's nothing in it. And you're out of your neighbourhood, big city boy. I want your badge. I want your weapon. I want your ass. Who do you think you are? He thinks he's Rambo! Rambo...is a pussy. What do you know? It's snowing. Anybody wanna get high? I'll be damned! Not bad for a city guy. HORN BEEPS Ray Tango. He's done it to us again. If it isn't Tango, it's Cash. These two cops are driving me crazy. We have to do something about this. I agree. I'd like to handle this myself. No, WE will handle it. No. Not that way. I have something else in mind. Hey, Cash! If it isn't Armani with a badge! (Laughs heartily) CAR STARTS TYRES SCREECH Look out! Police business! This is my car! Move! What are you doing? It's my car! Son of a bitch! Oh! Oh! What's the matter, got a little headache? What did you do with my car? I get it from perestroika! Welcome to America. Hey, Tango! Saw your picture in the paper. Nice suit. Thanks. Nice work. (Whistles happily) Look at this, Ray. Lying luck! Mmm. Ray, Catherine's in your office. Oh, that's great. You can't leave on the spur of the moment. It's... Illogical? Very! I'll only be gone a month. A month or two is how long it takes to build a house, not take a vacation. It's a dance tour! I want to get away. Everything you need's here. Grime, crime and slime! I'd rather go. Tell me the numbers where I can reach you. Why don't I call you? Why don't you call me? Mmm. If you're feeling stressed, don't run away. We can deal with this together. Don't make me feel guilty. I need time alone. I promise I'll be a good girl. There it is! The key word - good. You're telling me you're going to be good because you know automatically I think you'll be bad. Hey, Ray, what's a margin call? Why? Your stockbroker's on line three. This is important. Don't leave. (Sighs) Catherine. I have a plane to catch. Catherine, don't go. Think positive. Shit! Bobby, yeah. It's me. Lucky you had your vest. He only used these. Soft-lead slugs - this guy was really sloppy. Boy. Look at this. This shirt cost me $9. Get me a new vest. Whoa! Pizza! Hey! Who's been fucking with my gun? The sight's shifted. Maybe you dropped it. I didn't! Captain! Did you get anything out of that guy? He doesn't speak English, but he wants a lawyer. Let me question him. Question the guy who tried killing you? Forget it. Stay away from him. Hi! So you don't know any English? Well, I don't know much Chinese, so I guess we'll have to give you a crash course, buddy. I think you'll be a quick learner. Come here, sit down. There we go! Arrghh! This is lesson number one. The lessons get harder. Who hired you to kill me? I don't know. "I don't know" - no, wrong answer, try again. I think he's one of Quan's men - I don't know his name. Look at that. You're speaking like a native already. What is this? English 101. Is there anything else you want to share before your lawyer arrives? Arrghh! Think hard! A deal. Tonight...4942 Frond Street, 9:00. Very good. (Sputters) My complioments. You did pretty good for your first lesson. Remember, wash your hands. Ray, there's a bust going down at 4942 Frond Street. Is that reliable? Very. It's a phone tap. What's this? Downtown clown versus Beverly Hills wop? All news is good news. I don't understand you. You make shit-loads of money. You dress like a banker. Why are you a cop? Good old American action. If you have a death-wish, you should've gotten married. Is that a proposal? Gabriel Cash - God! How many millions, how many? How many this time? Oh, God! Ray Tango ` how he loves to dance. He waltzes in and takes my drugs, then tangos back out again! I've had enough of this. Too much television... ..can hurt your eyes. Now do you understand why we mustn't kill them? No, Mr Perret, I don't understand. It would be quicker. And easier. Quicker and easier. Quick and easy is how you make a cake, or clean a toilet bowl, or shop by mail. But it isn't how you run a multi-million-dollar business. Mr Quan, on the east side ` that's your part of the city ` Gabriel Cash has cost me more than $60 million. That includes guns, drugs and various other enterprises. On the west side, Mr Lopez... ..Ray Tango has cost me even more. Two little mice and so much damage. But... ..if we kill them, we risk all-out war with the police. They're heroes already. Why make martyrs out of them? Instead of death... ..(laughs)...we have a game. A game only we can win. Within two weeks, I will be taking delivery of the largest shipment of munitions and weapons that we have ever handled. Within that time... ..Tango...and Cash... ..will be safely tucked away... ..behind bars. Aren't they beautiful? CAN RATTLES NOISE CLANGING NOISE You almost got yourself killed. No, you did. If I fire, you're ratshit. And I'll blow you in half. You never had a chance with that gun! Not with that - with this. You know me? You're the second-best cop in L.A. I thought you were. Stay off my case! Your case? I've been on it three months. I've been on it half an hour. Stay off my case! Nice tie. It's your bust - take charge. I'll go first. Cover me on three. One...two... Three. ..three! What's the score, babe? My turn. Don't move. Don't move your hands. I don't think his hands are going anywhere. Want to do the honours? He's wired. No, this is all wrong. You should be a cop. Did you expect this? I didn't expect this, or you either. Why the hell's he wired? I don't know. You're right, this is your show. I'm gone. Ciao, babe. GLASS SHATTERS Drop your weapon! Freeze! We're cops! We're on the same team. Read this! I'll blow your brains out! No problem. I'm convinced. I'd like a receipt for that. Me, too. We can talk about this. Christ, that's my gun. What's your gun doing here? I put it in my locker. Back off! OK. This is evidence. What did you do? Someone stole it. What did you do? What? I didn't come with this man. With your permission, I'll be leaving this man. Get back! You're leaving with him! You're mistaken. You're going down for this! Get these bastards out of here! Now! You're bad karma. You'll need a good lawyer. * Oi! Perret says use this tape here. Did Tango shoot a federal officer? No comment! Was Detective Cash there? No comment! Has bail been set? What do they have? A .38 with Cash's fingerprints. They think it's the murder weapon. They were at the scene - nobody else was seen coming or going. What else? Sir, tape's ready. What tape? TANGO: Show us the money. MAN: It's all there. OK, where's the stuff? CASH: Right here. Direct from the department lockup. I like dealing with cops. Why? It restores my low opinion of human nature. You're gonna love this. GUNSHOT REPORTER: Lieutenants Tango and Cash go on trial for the slaying of a federal undercover agent. They insist they're victims of an elaborate set-up, possibly a retaliation by criminal figures. Expert witnesses will lead off the Prosecution's case. You've listened to the tapes. What's your judgment regarding its authenticity? I think it's genuine. How did you test it? We compared the suspects' voices with those on the tape ` the match was identical. When this is over, I'll rip his tongue out. With a tow truck. When I entered the premises I saw the suspects, the guns, drugs, money and dead body. I figured it went sour. I was going to go in and clear everything up... ..when they killed him. When this over, we'll pay him a visit. I'll bring the chainsaw. I'll bring the beer. (Speaks Chinese) Detective Cash assaulted me. He used a chair on me. I couldn't find a piano. (Speaks Chinese) This bastard speaks English! This quirko can talk! Quirko? What would you call it? The mood of defence attorneys for Tango and Cash is grim. They face an uphill, if not impossible, battle. Somebody framed you. We should cop a plea. You can guarantee minimum security? Absolutely. That'll be the deal. Is Cash's attorney giving him the same advice? If he's smart. Let me talk to Cash. I want to prepare my statement ` why do you want to see me? I'm not that fond of your kind. What's that? You're a glory-hound and hot dog. Tell me when the critique's over. It's over. I've been told to cop a plea. Me, too. 18 months. Longpoke Country Club ` they open the gym at 5am. You can start pumping early. Who do you think framed us? I've got a lot of admirers. I've got a few. If we cop a plea, we cop it together. Your lawyer wanted you to make a deal, but you didn't want to leave this glory-hound holding the bag. Right. You're a very generous guy. I'll make the statement. I will. You'll screw up. When were you born? Why? Day and month. I don't want the year. When's your birthday? May. February. I've got seniority! I'll make the statement. August 16. I read your records ` that's when you were hatched. Remember August 16? I've got seniority. (Laughs like Cash) CLERK: All rise. The court is now in session. The Honourable Judge McCormick presiding. Be seated. Your Honour, the defendants wish to change their plea. EXCITED CHATTER Order! Very well, Counsellor. What is the plea? May I approach the bench? Proceed, Mr Tango. It's OK. I've been a policeman for 12 years. It's the best organisation in the country. I've been accused of being too aggressive at catching criminals. If that's a sin, I'm guilty. All the cops I've worked with are good cops, doing a tough job. I hope the outcome of this trial is such that the whole department isn't judged by what's transpired. (Whispers) Ray, will you let me handle this? Anything to add, Mr Cash? Yeah. No! Yeah. No, no! Mr Tango has spoken very eloquently. I wish I could be as forgiving. But I can't because... ..this whole thing... ..fucking SUCKS! SPECTATORS APPLAUD Order! Your Honour... Order! Order! Your Honour... Be seated Mr Cash! The defendants wish to plead "no contest" to voluntary manslaughter. Part of an agreement? The State will recommend an 18-month sentence in a minimum-security facility. Mr Cash, Mr Tango, do you understand the plea you've entered? Yes, sir. Yes, sir. This agreement is acceptable. The Court directs the Defence and the State to deliver the documentation. Court's adjourned. Now that Tango and Cash are behind bars, you needn't be afraid. What's the matter, gentlemen? You don't share my enthusiasm? I'm sorry, but I cannot appreciate these games you keep playing. Mr Perret, what happens in 18 months when they get out? Use your imagination. What makes you think they'll EVER get out? Now, take care of your business. This is going to be a great year. * Welcome to Club Fed. I guess we're here. I needed a vacation. End of the line, kids. Get out. You, this way! What do you say now, genius? I don't think there's a golf course. Make yourselves at home, sweet home, boys. This must be a mistake. My underwear's riding into my throat. They're not there?! They were transferred off the bus somewhere down near Victorville. We must find them. Your underwear problem's solved. Stop holding your stomach in. Somebody bribed the goddamn Prison Board! It's as crooked as everyone else on this deal! Oh, man! Whoever set us up is really fucking connected! You think it's Quan? Thanks. No, wait! I got it! It's Lopez! Lopez has a guy PRETEND to try to kill me. He claims it was Quan's idea. The Chinese guy feeds me that bogus information. Lopez thinks I'll think it was Quan. But it's Lopez and I know it, right? What do you think? With your I.Q., you're unarmed and still very dangerous. OK, Sherlock Holmes, who set us up? I don't know - yet. Yeah. You don't know SHIT! What are you doin'?! Relax. Soap. And don't flatter yourself. Pee-wee. I don't know you that well. Some day, the other one will drop. Attaboy, tripod! You just keep talking. Sure, Minnie Mouse. By the way, I think they'll stick us in general population. Yeah? You know they don't put cops in general population. Never put cops in general population, huh? I'll put brown sugar in your ass! I jailed half these guys! I'll get you, Tango! Know what I really hate? Litter. Goddamn it! What? Forgot the marshmallows. I don't think rehabilitation's working here. They're just misunderstood, really. PHONE RINGS Bring them to me! Bring them to me! Cops! Cops! Bring him here! Come here! I want to talk to you! When I'm out, I'll tear you a new ass! You know Captain Dynaball? Yes! I loved you in 'Conan the Barbarian'! Me and my ass will be in the neighbourhood. (Groans) You pig! It's over for you! You'll be very popular here. Where's your fan club? Hey! That crapper is mine! What am I supposed to use? I don't give a shit! Don't use that! OK, bud, we're going to get one thing straight right now. That is yours. Would you mind stopping that? Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm not afraid of you. You see that? I killed him. Congratulations. He was my best friend. Crazy people aren't afraid of anybody. Will you look at that? Sugar's up. I cannot believe this. LOUD SNORING (Groans) (Breaks wind) GRUNTING (Grunts) Let's dance, Tango! Come on, Cash! Kill him! Kill him! Kill him for me! You're dead meat, Tango! (Screams) They got you? Looks like it. Oh, yeah, let me guess ` the welcoming committee? Or a surprise party. Don't make a move. We'll talk our way out. They're not into small talk. If we panic, we're history. PERRET: Ah, the infamous Cash and Tango, dishonoured, imprisoned ` what a shameful fall from glory. And who are you? Just think of me as somebody who... ..doesn't like you very much. The surprise party's out. I followed him to the set-up. Don't panic. Tarty Tango. You're a pretty boy, aren't you? I'm panicking. Like me to change it? No. How 'bout you? Maybe you first. Don't panic. I'll cut your bloody throat, tie your thing in a knot. I don't wear ties; that's him. Brave boy. Want to cut my head off and use it for a basketball? Go ahead! Just don't let him do it! I don't wanna get killed by this limey immigrant jerk-off! I wanna get killed by an American jerk-off! You fucking wanker. Put it away for now. Just for now. Some of your other friends want to say hello. What are you doing? Buying time. For what? I don't know yet. (Laughs) It's Conan. We'll get FUBAR now. What's 'FUBAR'? You'll see. Real bad-assed cops. You don't look so tough now, do you? Do you, you fuck? He must mean you. This pig broke my ribs, leg and jaw. You broke THAT jaw? He deserved it. Why? I was having a bad day. Like now? NOW! Don't panic! Don't panic! Rats in a maze. Them in a cage. Place your bets. Which bloke survives? Who's a brave boy, then? Who fries first? ALL: Kill them! Fry them! Tango, you got any family? Yeah. You? An alimony cheque. That's it. First, Mr Cash. Cash! It's all right, man. (All cheer) Motherfu... Son of a bitch! Cash! Cash. Fuck you. Tango. Fry, Tango! Get them down! Off that scaffold! Lock this place down! * Oh, shit. Cash, you fight this one. You look terrible. Matt? Say it's you, Matt. It is. Good to see you! Cash! Yeah? My arm. Who's this guy? Matt Sokowski, Assistant Warden. My C.O. when I started. You're in deep shit. Really? Yeah. Who set you up? We just met him. Why doesn't he just kill us? Why play this game? A boring night-life? How did he get in? Anything can happen here. You got money, you get what you need. They'll put you in general population. You've only got one choice ` escape. Escape? Yeah. Tomorrow morning I'll get a spoon, and we'll start tunnelling out of here, and you can help me chew through the bars. OK, Cash? Come on, this is bullshit! What's with your friend? He misses his wardrobe. What's your plan, Matt? It's all worked out. You trust him? I know him. We trusted our lawyers, too. This time, trust me. Now THAT'S a risky proposition. I brought you a present. You're unbelievable. I DO miss my wardrobe. This is the prison ventilation system. You enter through the utility shaft. This ventilation shaft leads beyond the wall. I'll stop this fan and unlock this vent door. You'll get the right work detail. This way looks faster. No. Stick to plan 'A'. Let's go to the infirmary. Why choose your plan 'A'? You don't have a plan 'B'. Not yet, Cash. But I will. My partner in pain. Sokowski got us trash detail. Race you to the dumpster. It's set up. Negative. What? I'm not going. Did you have a brain meltdown last night? I'm not getting FUBAR. What's 'FUBAR'? "Fucked Up Beyond All Recognition". What is your problem? It's a trap. I don't trust Sokowski. Sokowski's a cop! What's this? This is my fiance, Slinky. Up, Slinky. Let's see how business is. You are one major mistrustful, maladjusted human fuckin' being! I love you, too. I'm not coming back! You're making a mistake. Good luck on the outside. Let's go. You're late. I hope you and Cousin It are very happy together and raise a beautiful litter. Ciao. Ciao. THUNDERCLAP Where have you been? You're a half-hour late. Doin' my best, boss. FAN HUMS Matt. No. DOGS BARK There he is! GUNSHOTS Let's go! Out of my way! You?! I got lonely! I can't hold it all day! GUNFIRE Shit! Come on, Cash! DOGS BARK Your friend Matt walked you into a trap. You're so stupid. Matt's dead. They cut his throat ear-to-ear. Pony-tail? Yeah. This is the way. OK. Here's the best ride in the park. Come on! This way! Know where you're going? Absolutely. Sure you know where you're going? Exactly. Then move your ass! THUNDERCLAP Come on. SIREN Is this the only way? We can go back. Let's go! This is the way? Exactly. Tango. What? Don't touch those wires. Thanks. ELECTRICITY CRACKLES Know what? What? I'm tired of electricity. Nag! Nag! Nag! Now what? No problem. We'll slide down those wires. ELECTRICITY CRACKLES That's it? Yeah. We'll fry. Just touch one wire. Don't touch the ground. You won't be electrocuted. Right? I don't know. I don't either. I owe you one. You can go first. Uh-uh. You still owe me. I knew you'd say that. If I miss, will you try? Depends how close you get. Ahhhh! Come on, dog! Come to me! Come on, Tango. Come to me! Speak, doggy! Speak! (Laughs maniacally) (Screams) CASH: Tango! That was fun. Did you stop for coffee and a Danish?! I hate Danish. Let's get out of here. Nice doing time with you. I'll remember that shower. If it gets too hot, go to a club called Cleopatra's. Ask for a girl named Catherine. Got it. Hey, Ray. I really do owe you one. I've heard about the escape. This is most disturbing. We're being threatened by two maniacs. We must take some action. Thinking will be the cause of your downfall. Try to control your fear. These fugitives won't last long on the outside. We can't rely on the police. I insist. (Shouts) Don't insist. Insistent people make me angry. Everything is under control. Cover your tracks. Oh, you're beautiful. * Gee, I hope they're all right. P.A.: Commencing fire tests. Owen. I knew you'd come. How did you escape? Long story. Got any clothes? Sure. Nice to see we have the same taste. Do you need a weapon? A big gun. Are those big enough? Yeah, perfect. I knew we shared the same taste in weaponry. Gabe, check out the pooch. A new invention in senior citizen home protection. MECHANISED BARKING Well...well, you know. The gumboots are great. Perfect. See you. EXPLOSION Knock, knock. Yuck. You're obviously not interested in counting calories. They paid you to set us up. I didn't set you up. I had nothing to do with it. You think I'm judging unfairly? Hell, yes. I had nothing to do with it. I had nothing to do with it. Let's be frank. You're looking terribly anaemic. You need iron in your diet. GUN CLICKS I know you planted the murder weapon. They paid me. Who? I don't know. FBI guys are brainy. Think. A red-haired Englishman. You're going down for this. You sang it to me. YOU'RE going down. They want me dead. My life isn't worth shit. True. I need you, anyway. Take me in. We can help each other. You got paid well? Wanna split it? (Shouts) Wyler! Who are you? What are you doing here? Who do you think you are? Excuse me. Hey! Who hired you to do the tape? Lucky this place is soundproof. Nobody will hear me beating the truth out of you. I see you've got all my greatest hits. And Tango's. You put together a nice compilation. He threatened my life. Who? He didn't tell me his name. Lucky you authenticated your own work. I'm the foremost expert. Not if you keep using junky equipment. That's state-of-the-art equipment. What do you want? How did you deliver the tape? By mail. Where? I don't remember. I recorded the conversation. I'll play it. There you go! Put me through to Captain Schroeder. He's got to be there. Would you check, please? Tell him his favourite stockbroker is back in town. Five bucks cover charge. Sure. Is Catherine working? Don't know any Catherine. 'DON'T GO' BY YAZOO Is Catherine here tonight? There are hundreds. Hey, Joe. Sticks! Sorry, I'm distracted. I'm sorry. This one's on me. I'm really sorry. What do you think you're doing? Hold it. Hey, Kiki. Nice work. I... I'm Catherine. Only one person calls me that. Ray Tango said you'd help me. I haven't seen Ray in a while. There are police everywhere. Is there some place we can talk? Is he all right? If I escape. Out the back. They'll have it covered. Any other ideas? Hey, Elvis. What size do you wear? Hold it. Let's have a look. Something wrong? Come on, loosen up. Hey, Lynn. Let's go. Hey, Red. Aerobics instructor, huh? Kiki. Hey, bud. Don't touch my property. Any chance of a threeway? Dykes on bikes, eh? * You knew who I was all along? I figured it out. You've been getting lots of press. We were set up. Ray couldn't possibly have done what he was accused of. You, I'm not so sure about. Ouch. How did this happen? Sliding off wires into a pine tree tends to slip a disc! Let's see if we can slip it back. How does that feel? Six more hours of this and I'll be recovered. So, what's the story with you and Ray? What do you mean? Do you love him, hate him, none of the above? I love him. You do? Of course I do. He loves me, too, without showing it. You see much of each other? He comes and goes. That's a little insensitive. But I live my own life. Good for you. Lower. Kiki. Yeah? (Groans) Lower? Yeah, and harder. I'll move it around real slow. Don't stop. I can do this all night. Prove it. Go a little faster. More? Deeper. Gabe, I can feel it going in. Harder. It's almost in. It's in. Hands off, sleazebag. Ray? Captain? That's a nice greeting. I'm sorry, Captain. Freeze! Drop the duck. Tango! Real great police work. What the hell were you doing? You almost nailed your captain, Ray. What were you doing? I was making my move. Your girlfriend... My sister. My what? Your what? Sister. She's your sister? That's great. Look, I know it had to look bad. I've never deliberately punched out anyone. But I'll hammer you. Really? Ray, can't you use a doorbell? Isn't this 125 Orange Grove Street? It's my place. I have some rights. It's my house. I let you dwell here. I pay rent. You're late. Check your mail. He's been in prison. My pantyhose are riding into the unknown. Way up in the unknown. What were you doing on the couch with queen-for-a-day? None of your business. Catherine. She got the brains AND the looks. How do you figure it? I don't know. Smoke? No. ..to protect you... All right, that's it. You're not running us in? I can only keep them off your back till tomorrow. I suggest you slip into something more butch. Try to clear your names. I've already started. What's that? This tape will clear our names. Compliments of Skinner, the forgerer. What have you got? About quarter to four. Start with this. We identified the creep from the warehouse. Pony-tail? His name's Requin. Look him up. The address is there. You guys have got 24 hours. From when? Five minutes ago. Catherine...honestly, what were you doing on the couch? Please. Come inside and change. You'll make an ugly bride. Are you proposing? The blue one's nice. The blue it is. Sorry about my behaviour tonight. I hope you're OK. I'm OK. How did you escape from prison? Cash had a friend inside. I had nowhere else to come. Where else would you go? The North Pole. Maybe you should turn yourself in and talk to the press. No. How's the career going? You're being hunted and you're worried about my dancing? I'm just wondering if you need any extra cash. I could buy you a bond. Big money. You help more than you need to. I don't. I spend so much time on my career. I hardly get to see you anymore. Don't feel guilty. I love you. Put it there. Push 'em back. I don't want to put you in jeopardy. What do you mean? That scum I deal with. Here I am. See? Let's go. See you later. Mind if I say something? No. I was having a wonderful time until he arrived. After we straighten this out, could we get together again? That'd be nice. Maybe we could go... Can we talk? I don't think my sister's your type. Easy, mate. Come on. I've been expecting you. Don't you know pony-tails are out this season? How you doing, Cash? Getting better. There's a party upstairs. Can potato-head come? Wouldn't be a party without him. Plan 'A'. This party is really fun. How about it, Requin? Who pulls your strings? Piss off. Bollocks to Plan 'A'. The view's great up here. What? Plan 'A' sucks. Give me a name or you're going back to England in a baggy. You ain't worth a toss. Go on. Drop me. Plan 'A' sucks. Try Plan 'B'. What's that? Hiroshima sound familiar? Can we talk for a minute? Not now. I'm busy. Just a second. Please. Isn't this a little radical? What's radical? Blowing a man's head off? We work differently. I'm glad you didn't want to talk. I'll shoot his leg. I want everything. Maybe he doesn't know. I don't care. You're a cop. Because of him, we're on the run. It's pay-back. That's enough. Man, I heard about you. Did you? I didn't believe that sadistic bullshit I heard you pulled. You're for real. If you don't want to get sticky, get back, Jack. You got it, sicko. This asshole's out of control and I can't stop him. You're on your own. I'm out of here. Don't forget to write. You're a psycho, man. You really look like shit in a pony-tail. (Grunts urgently) I'm sorry. Bye-bye, birdie. 'Bye, baby. I'm not listening. The guy you want's Perret. Who? The bloke with me in prison. Where's Perret? At Franco Airfield. Is he lying? He's wet himself. Disgusting. You fell for the oldest routine. Bad cop. Worse cop! Did you sleep with my sister? Did you bump uglies with her? I was so drunk, I don't remember. Come on. We're late. My little contribution to birth control. (Screams) Bloody hell! Bloody dud! What about my sister? It's a free country, Tango. And what's that mean? People are free to do what they want. So? Your sister is very, very free. I'll kill you. * OK, Owen, let's have it. Oh, my God! Double-armoured bullet-proof glazing all around. 120mm canon on the driver's side. Transfer case has torque splitting. It'll seek 60 in 5� seconds. What is that? That's an RV from hell. Care to join me? Huh? Well? I'm impressed. Very impressed? Very impressed. Is he smart or what? Owen ` home run! It'll go through a brick wall. We're in business. Yeah, we are. You know what firepower we're talking about? It's a work of art! Who holds the pay slips? Take a look inside. Did this guy invent your exploding bazooka boots? Hey, Owen's a genius, believe me. What's this one do? Ultra-booster. It's nitrous oxide. Aha. What's that? We'll take it. You can't take that. It's unique. It's a prototype. We won't even scratch it. We're fully insured. Fully insured? Owen, listen. Run Perret through your computer. OK. I'll see what I can dig up. Cash. Yeah? Owen's not family, is he? Maybe. Hmmm. OWEN ON COMPUTER: The airfield was abandoned 10 years ago. Look for a main building about a mile in from the perimeter. Thanks, Owen. Looks quiet. This is insane. Very insane. You get the feeling things are about to get bloody? Could. Look, if something happens, I just want you to know... ..you're the best cop I ever worked with. There's something I want you to know. If you don't make it back and I do... ..I'm gonna date your sister. Cash, I've got nothing against you. But I don't want Catherine getting that 2am phone call saying that something's happened to you. That would kill me. Well, nothing's gonna happen to me ` I'm charmed. All right, tell you what. I'll stay away until you give me your blessing. All right? In that case...never. COMPUTER BEEPS Thought so. Let's go to work. Something's on the computer. It's that information on Perret. We're there. It's a serious-looking gate. Is this place fortified? Maybe. Better use extreme caution. Cash. Yeah? Listen to the man. Yes, Mommy. Oh, my God! Subtle. Real subtle. We're in. ALARMS WAIL Get out of here! MACHINE-GUN FIRE Come on! Where the hell are we? COME ON! Cash, watch the right! Your left! I'm gonna do it. No! No! Yes! (Both yell) Yeah, yeah, yeah! Who the hell taught you to drive? Stevie Wonder. We're on fire! We're cooking. It's a dead end. We're in a maze! We're trapped! He's playing with us. Oh, shit! Hah! Get the sons of bitches! Want the good news or bad? Bad. We're almost out of gas. The good? ALMOST out of gas. What is this place? Come on! (Yells) All right, that's gotta be the last of them! All right, home team! Behind you! What's that? Roll out the welcome wagon. We gotta bail. What? Don't worry, Owen. Speed bumps. Let's go! I need a gun. You guys hiding something? Here. Why's yours bigger than mine? Genetics, Pee-wee. Why aren't you guys talking anymore? Come on, say something! * Perret's gotta be in there. It's the only building standing. Any chance he might surrender? Not likely. Remember ` use extreme caution. Ciao. Nice collection, huh? Yeah. OK, we're even. How'd you figure? I saved your life! Discuss it later. Let them come. We are ready. Hey, grenades! ALARMS WAIL P.A.: Facility destruct sequence is now engaged. Somebody's activated a bomb. I wonder who? All right, what now? Let's get Perret. Get me a toy, too. We've got 11 minutes. That's enough for two touchdowns. They have three time-outs. Clip. Look out! You OK? Yeah - clean exit. You're lucky. What's lucky about being shot? Stop complaining. Right side. Got it. Some hobby! Our own TV show. What do you think? Get out of here! Not yet, lads. The game's just starting, isn't it? Over 'ere. Let her go! All right, Requin... ..you want me, you've got me. I've got you both. Two for the price of one. Now drop your fucking gun, or I drop sister here! Drop it, Cash. I can take him. Cash! Drop your gun! I drop it ` and we're both dead. If you don't, we all go up. Recognise Plan 'B'? She fancies me. Might lose her head over me! You don't know me mate here, but he's been looking forward to kicking your fucking brains in. Well, boy, I'd like you to watch me pleasure your sister. But I've only got a few minutes to carve you up! You never talked about Plan 'C'. You think it's a dud? FUBAR - big time. Let's find Catherine. The one great scholar will write against your name not that you won or lost, but how you played the game ` what bullshit! This game's cost me a lot. I'll blow him away. Which one? I know which one. One last thought, gentlemen. Great. All you need is a gun. Got one. So do I. Hang on, let's take him alive. On three. Call it. One... ..two! Hey... My sights are off. Mine, too. Cash, get the door! Hurry up! Is she all right? Yeah. How'd you know which one to shoot? You saw the ring, right? What about the ring? It was reversed in the mirrors. Get her arm. Come on. 20 seconds, Cash! There's lots of new pollution in the sky tonight ` it's Perret. Are you OK? Yeah, I'm just worried about you. I'm probably gonna lose my arm. Come on, it's a scratch! Cash, you got sloppy. Sloppy? Tango, I took that hit for you! I can't believe you're ungrateful. Ungrateful? This is no time to argue. He can't accept he's the number two cop in L.A. Dream on, Bullwinkle. That's your version. Admit it - you work well together. Oh, yeah! No matter what you say, Ray, I've at least earned the right to date your sister. Over my dead body! Deal? SONG:If you want to put a message through my heart Shoot the arrow in the morning I'm gonna rise and shine and wake you up And move you without warning Call my name I understand the reason for desire The band of gold I give to you Will be the ring of fire Something in your kiss will last forever Burning in the heat for you Love you round the clock You get the best of what I got Oh, yeah! Gonna work all day to buy you pretty things Cos you're such a pretty girl You can work me overtime Knock me out Got my senses in a whirl Like a locomotive burning down the track You're my destination Woman, kiss for kiss, You're my fascination Love you round the clock You get the best of what I got. Captions by Australian Caption Centre. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019