I am Mitchell Pham. At 12 years old, I had to leave my family and escape Vietnam on a small fishing boat that was stranded at sea. I spent nearly two years in refugee camps in Indonesia before coming to New Zealand. I am refugee, and this is my story. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2019 (JARRING MUSIC) I will never forget the look on my mum's face when she told me that I was going without them. I could see, you know, traces of bullets, you know, flying right above my head. The ship was so big, it created huge, massive wakes that threw our boat around and around. We completely believed that this was our end. (TAPE REWINDS) I was born in 1971... in Saigon. Vietnam at the time was still going through a civil war and conflict with the US. The country was in trouble, and life was hard, and people weren't safe. My family and I lived right next to the centre of Saigon, but on the other side of the river. And where we lived, there were lots of rice paddies as far as the eyes can see. We used to catch, you know, little creatures out in the fields. We were really just very, very natural kids. My first memories of my brother and sister where when I held them in my arms for the first time when they came home from the hospital. I knew that I would totally love these little beings for the rest of my life. (GUNFIRE) The Vietnamese Civil War finally ended in April 1975. It was a big relief, because the war had cost so many lives. But also, it was a very difficult challenge for the new government of the united Vietnam to rebuild a country. The leaders of the northern government had been totally focused on fighting the war and pushing out foreigners and whatnot. Now it was a completely different challenge. And, unfortunately, it was a challenge that they were not equipped for. As a country, Vietnam became closed to the world and really plummeted... into a period of deep depression. There was hardly any food, and all of it was rationed. There were days when we just didn't have any food to eat at all. I can remember having to look after my younger siblings when Mum and Dad were busy trying to scrape a living to feed us. I also remember getting up early and taking the ration vouchers and queuing in the long lines, waiting for food. So I had to grow up early. Many people just did not see any future for their family and their children. And so millions and millions of Vietnamese tried to escape. My family wasn't any different. We were not motivated by politics at all. We just simply were motivated by survival. (LOW, PULSING MUSIC) The escape attempts were very, very expensive, because it was risky; it was illegal; there were, you know, secret police and informants everywhere. No one was allowed in, and no one was allowed out. The first time that we escaped as a family was when I was 8 years old. We got together with other members of our extended family. We all went out of Ho Chi Minh City, down south through the Mekong Delta to get on to a fishing boat, in order to leave Vietnam. I remember that my parents told me that we just went for summer vacation. Everything had to be kept secret. Especially from us kids, because we had no concept, you know, of danger and of security and of the secret police and of the informants and all of those things. I remember being told many times, 'Do not talk. 'Do not make any sounds.' Imagine at 4 years old, you know, and trying to ask what's going on and why and why. Unfortunately, many of our little groups were exposed and arrested, and eventually, everyone was caught. We were put into makeshift prison camps. The women and children were kept in these kind of camps, while the men were sent to hard-labour camps called re-education camps. There was a huge camp fenced in by bamboo, but not cover on the top, no roof. So we were exposed to the elements the whole time. The camp was on the side of the Mekong River. It was a tidal river. When the tide was in, I was standing up to my chest in water. When the tide was out, I was standing up to my waist in mud. Every day, we were fed once with a little bit of boiled rice with a little bit of salt ` just enough to keep us alive. We were held for... three months. Many people got sick, and some of them died. And there were many other things that happened in the camp that were really horrific experiences. (CRYING, SCREAMING) So, after two years of being back home... and kind of rebuilding some normality to life,... my parents, you know, scrape up some more savings ` just enough to try again. I was 10 years old. I very quickly caught on to what was potentially going on. The first time we tried to escape, it was a badly organised trip, and we were too big a group. My parents took a different approach and were much more discreet the second time around. However, some of the people who were involved with the group that was escaping were informants and secret police. Every time you get caught, they would double the punishment. So the second time around, the women and children were in these prison camps for six months, and the men were in the hard-labour camps for a year. The second time, when I was 10, I was more aware of what was going on around us, such as in the evening, you know, young women were taken away by the guards, and then they were sent back to the cells in the morning. I really felt everyone's pain and suffering around me. But for the first time, I also felt that I wanted to do something about it. After the two attempts and what we had to go through, I thought that Mum and Dad would probably not try again. (SPEAKS VIETNAMESE) The whole plan for the third escape was concealed from me,... right up to literally the day that I left. I discovered it in conversation with my mum, and she still told me that it was a vacation, but this time, only I was going on vacation. They decided that because I was 12 at the time, that I was old enough to be a little bit robust, but also, very importantly, there was conflict going on with Cambodia, and so the Vietnamese government was conscripting kids even as young as 14. Some of my cousins were conscripted. They were sent away, and they never came back. That absolutely wasn't, you know, the option that my parents wanted. And also because we couldn't afford for a second seat on the boat. So, for my parents, it just... maybe it wasn't the best option, but it's probably the most sensible one. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) I will never forget the look on my mum's face when she told me that I was going without them. She was telling me one thing about sending me on vacation, but I could see it in her eyes. It must have been extremely difficult for her to send her first born out into the world at 12 years of age, and I have no idea, you know, how she did it. As a mother, it would've been near impossible. So, my mum prepared me for the journey very carefully. She had prepared clothes for me that had hidden pockets where I could keep things that would give me a chance to survive later on along the journey. One of those things, for example, was a gold ring that was sewn into the shirt that I was wearing, in case I needed, you know, money at some point. I said goodbye to Mum the way that she wanted for me to say it, which was like I was going on vacation, even though I knew otherwise. I tried to say goodbye to my brother and sister as well, but I could not let on that anything was happening. I still remember it was an early morning, and he just said goodbye to me. I said, 'OK,' and then what he said` he said goodbye again. I said, 'OK,' again, and then I talked us why he has to say goodbye so many time because it's just a holiday; you will be back in two weeks. So I think he tried to make sure that he see me awake when he left. I wish I could've said goodbye properly, but, yeah, it wasn't possible at the time. I just had to get on my way. Ink your lips with SuperStay Matte Ink. Now all day matte goes crayon easy. * My third attempt to escape from Vietnam was on the 12th of January 1984, shortly after I had just turned 12. The way the escape was organised was different. We spent a couple of weeks in a fishing village where I pretended to be on vacation, and then one night, we row out towards the middle of the Mekong River, where there was a fishing boat. The one that we were on was about 12.5m. There were 67 of us getting on board, so we had to cram ourselves into the hold. When we got to the river mouth, we were spotted by the Vietnamese Coastguard. They called out to us... (MAN SHOUTS IN VIETNAMESE) ...and told us to stop so that they could board and investigate. In fact, we sped up to try and get out of there as quickly as we could. So we were shot at with machine guns from the patrol boat. I could see, you know, traces of bullets, you know, flying right above my head, literally. If I had stood up, I would've been hit. And I remember sitting there while the shooting was going on, completely terrified. People were crying and praying. Some were screaming, but we had to try and cover our mouths, but the bullets, you know, were just flying right above our heads. Eventually, they stop; they turn around and went back. So, for us, we felt that, you know, at least we've now survived the first hurdle. The conditions on the boat were definitely less than ideal, so I tried to spend most of my time sitting on top of the cabin where there's just open space, there's fresh air, rather than back down in the hold where it smelt of fish and vomit and people were crying and all sorts of things. I just found it too hard. But staying on top had, you know, some benefits. I loved seeing dolphins and sharks and the flying fish that jumps out of the water every now and then. And once I've had a chance to kind of absorb all of that, you know, my mind was then starting to kind of think about what was really going on as part of the bigger picture. I'm out of Vietnam. I have no idea now where I'm gonna end up or if I will ever see my parents and siblings again. I think that was the beginning of this great big hole in my life that was not filled for many years to come. So, after three days of travel at sea, we started to run out of food. And then on the fourth day, we ran out of water. And that night, we ran out of fuel. We were stuck in the middle of nowhere, in pitch-black darkness. That was the longest night of my life. You know, everyone panicked, and I was totally scared. But the thing that really scared me the most was when some of the people on the boat started talking about suicide. You know, and for a 12-year-old, I just really didn't know how to process that. I just shut myself down and let it just go past. You know? So, on the morning of the fifth day, we were relieved to see the sun rise. We really had more to hope, because we saw a ship on the horizon. And so we tried to raise attention to ourselves, jumping up and down, waving, white T-shirt and so forth. And luckily enough, it turned and came towards us and stopped maybe about less than 50m away. And we saw it was a huge, massive holiday cruise ship ` eight or nine storeys high, packed full of passengers. Everyone was on the balconies looking at us, pointing, taking photos. I saw some people videoing what was going on as well, and so we were really excited. And after about half an hour to 45 minutes, the ship turned on its engine... and left. Didn't give us any food or fuel or water. Certainly did not rescue us. You know, and to this day, I still cannot fathom or understand, you know,... that decision. But because the ship was so big and it was so close, that when it left, cranking up its engine, trying to get going, it created huge, massive wakes that threw our boat around and around as if we were in a big, great washing machine. We completely believed that this was our end. I remember all I could do was cling on to a corner of the boat, tuck myself in as low as possible and keeping my eyes closed. The blessing in disguise was actually the wake from the ship ` that ended up pushing us... towards a place where there was a current, which then carried us towards a place where there was an oil rig operation going on. They saw us. They sent a boat out to investigate. And then they towed our boat back to where they were, so we were effectively rescued. They gave us food, water, blankets, medical attention. We were truly grateful to be alive yet again. Cleansing your sensitive skin with soap is not enough. Try Garnier Micellar Water. Its micelles attract make-up and dirt with no rubbing. Remove make-up better than soap. Cleanse and soothe. For powerful cleansing, use micellar water by Garnier, naturally. * The very first refugee camp that we arrived in, which was in Indonesia, was simply just a reception camp. And we were received into UNSCR protection. By the time I arrived at the long-stay camp, some of the people there had been there for more than 10 years. It really hit me hard, because I started thinking, 'Is this where I'm gonna be stuck?' The camp we were at had 22,000 refugees in it. And all of the problems and challenges that you can imagine, including lack of space, lack of medical facilities, sanitation, not enough food to go around, the water was not drinkable, and the biggest problem in any of these kind of refugee camps was actually mental health. The single biggest fear... that we all shared in common was that we may get stuck there for the rest of our lives and never get out. And, yeah, suicide was a major, major problem. You know that feeling that I had about wanting to do something back when I was in the prison camp in Vietnam for the second time? That feeling came back to me. And so I joined a volunteer group of nearly 300 of us. We built two big Buddhist temples in this refugee camp. I was tiny as a semi-malnourished 12-year-old, but I joined the kitchen crew. I did what I could with preparing food to feed those who, you know, were able to chop down the trees and build the temples. It was very a empowering thing to do. One of my friends in the kitchen team was this little boy. He was only 8 years old at the time. He was found two years before, floating on a plank out at sea, with his mum, you know, clinging on to the plank, trying to swim them both to safety. And when they found him, he was nearly dead, and his mum had already died from exhaustion. And knowing this little friend's story really gave me great comfort whenever I felt missing my family, because at least there's still a chance that my family was still alive back home somewhere. And I felt that... I was lucky, you know, I had it good. The second-biggest challenge in camp for us refugees was language. The 33 countries that pick up refugees from refugee camps around the world will have preference for those who can speak their language. I saw a lot of people struggling, even at the most basic level. I also saw that the school was desperately short of teachers. I'm very lucky because I was born with a little bit of talent for language. If I could share that, then hopefully I would increase the chance for others to also get out of the camps eventually. I just had to do something about that. So I decided to lie about my age, and I was allowed to start teaching beginners English. I remember the first day I turned up to teach the first beginners class. Probably about 40 people, all of whom were adults. And here I was, a 13-year-old kid. Everybody went quiet, and they all stood up in unison and said, 'Greetings, teacher.' I did not expect that. I expected to be treated like an adult would a 13-year-old, but I wasn't. I was treated as a teacher. That really taught me something very, very important ` to see someone... based on what it is they're offering, not who or what they are. So, the entire time through my journey and the nearly two years in four refugee camps, I was constantly on a mission. It was to survive the whole journey, to arrive in a Western country, to sponsor my family to come and reunite and build our lives together. So, when I chose the countries that I would like to migrate to, my first choice was New Zealand, my second choice was Australia, and my third choice was Canada. New Zealand stood out to me because of a distinct lack of history of conflict. When you come from a country that's had a continuous 1500 years of conflict, it tends to shape your choice. So New Zealand stood out for me. I interviewed with the three countries of choice, and then I waited. The UN office then called me in. And then they informed me in person that one of those countries had accepted, and it was New Zealand. Long hair goals? New L'Oreal Paris Dream Lengths. With vegetal keratin, it helps strengthen lengths and reduce split ends to save your last three centimetres. Long hair. Do care. New Elvive Dream Lengths by L'Oreal Paris. You're worth it. * I finally arrived in New Zealand on the 24th of August 1985. I had left, you know, 38 degrees Celsius, came out of the airport, and it was 6 degrees. I thought, 'Oh, it's nice and cool.' And then within about two minutes, I thought, 'Whoa! This is freezing.' (LAUGHS) You know, I just took in a... (INHALES DEEPLY) big breath, you know, of New Zealand air. And looking around me, I thought, 'Wow! So this is it. This is what I read about.' By the time I arrived in New Zealand, I was nearly 14. I ended up staying with families who had similar-age kids. They were all very kind and well-intentioned. The biggest challenge for me, personally, was trying to adapt... to life in New Zealand. And this was back in the middle of the 1980s. In order for someone to join New Zealand, to be part of team New Zealand, that person had to assimilate rather than integrate. I very often questioned, you know, what do I keep? What do I throw out? What do I leave behind? Was I Vietnamese? Or was I Kiwi? Those first years just happened to be also my teenage years, so I also had to struggle with hormones and everything else. I remember once dying my hair blond, just to see if I could fit in better. So, the first school that I went to was almost entirely white. I was one of only two Asian kids in that school at the time, and the other one was born here. It was really hard, actually, to try and fit in, to try and make friends. I had come from an environment in the refugee camp, but also back home earlier on in Vietnam, where I'm very much a people person; I connect really well. So the depth of relationships and the understanding and the connection was completely missing in my early years in New Zealand, because of the language and the cultural barrier. That made me feel... somewhat isolated. So these early years in New Zealand were when I felt the absence of my immediate family the most. I think the first time I realised what happened to Mitchell is when we received the first lot of photos of Mitchell's when he was in Galang Refugee Camp. As soon as I arrived safely in the first refugee camp, I tried to let them know that I had survived the sea journey, but not knowing if they would actually receive the communication. So when I got to New Zealand, it started to get a bit easier... to send and receive letters from home. I think the photo is the only information for us to see how Mitchell is doing and to make us feel that he's actually at home with us. TRUMAN: Yeah, I mean, we talk about everything we see in the photo. I remember at that time, Mitchell had long hair. Yeah, so I kept asking him why he has long hair. I had a million questions to ask him about his life, about what he liked to do, you know, how is work, who are his friends? You know? I did feel alone a lot of the time. But I didn't dwell on that, because I actually made a lot of really good friends here in New Zealand. I had the good fortune of meeting Mitchell back in the mid-'80s. I had an after-school job working in a takeaway, so met Mitchell cutting onions and cauliflowers. John is a very special friend to me. You know, he was the first New Zealand kid that... made me feel cool. You know? And that was` that was hugely important for a teenager. Right? We went to school together. We hung out after school together. I was always at his home, and his mum loved having me around. And I think because of that, it actually made it easier. I didn't have my own family, but I did have family in New Zealand. My mum loved having Mitchell visit. I think he was one of the favourite friends at the time, and he certainly set the bar very high for everybody else. He was always very friendly, charming and outgoing, so mums like that sort of thing. In the later school years, we were, you know, into girls and cars and stereo and pop music and culture. He was, actually, probably New Zealand's number-one Duran Duran fan. I think he had the Simon Le Bon hairstyle for a period of time. We used to drive around in John's little beat-up car, (CHUCKLES) thinking that we were really cool. (LAUGHS) We were into computers at the time, so figuring out what these things were and how we could use them. It was really cool just really getting into those cultural things that made up a teenager's life at the time. I received my New Zealand citizenship in... 19... 88. And as soon as I got my citizenship, I started the process to sponsor my family over. So I received four entry visas for my parents and siblings to come over to New Zealand. The visas were given a two-year period to expire, otherwise, when they expire, they are gone and you can't get them again. Mitchell started to sponsor the family quite early, and my parents always worried that he had to work hard for` to make the money to sponsor our family. They always worried that could affect his education. And at the time, I was studying full time, and I had two part-time jobs, trying to raise money so that my parents would have enough to pay for all the airfares and the international relocation costs and all of those things, which were horrendously expensive. But, unfortunately, you know, working part time just was not enough. I could not raise enough money during the two-year period. I just remember one day when I was 17, and my dad had a family meeting, and he told me and my sister that we shouldn't go, because it was getting better in Vietnam, their business is going well, and he was worried that if we moved to New Zealand and Mitchell had to work harder to support the family and that could affect his education. And so when that happened, I was totally devastated. It had been a very core part of the mission. I felt that I had failed... in` in... completing the mission. You know? There was a short period of time that we didn't hear much from Mitchell, because I guess just needed some time to get over what's happening. Graduating from the University of Auckland Business School was a great milestone in my life. It was part of the mission, however, at the time, for me, it was very difficult knowing that I would be alone; I will not have my family there with me, and that was tough. I decided that I just would not be able to go through graduation seeing my friends and their families and not seeing mine there with me. So I graduated in absentia. I didn't go to the graduation. I didn't wear the gown and march down Queen Street. I don't have many regrets, but... if I had to live my life again, I think that is probably the only thing I would change, even if it means breaking down on the day. Two things that I discover early on towards the end of my first degree at university, and that is a desire to go into business, but also discovering the importance of technology... in business. I think we were in our second year into university, and he was already talking about growing a business and doing something on his own, which, at the time, was, you know, unheard of. Nobody was leaving university and setting up their own businesses ` or very few people. We started Augen in August 1993. So, back in those days, the whole tech start-up ecosystem did not exist. So we really were pioneering. And that was at a time when you needed to go overseas to get good tech exposure, but he was like, 'No, I'm gonna to build it here.' And I think he put his roots down with that once and for all. I didn't see my immediate family for 13 years. It wasn't until '97 that I could even afford to just go back to Vietnam. I wasn't quite sure how I was going to be received, so I actually stayed inside the airport for a while, just, kind of, to get myself together. I think my biggest fear was that I would wake up and it wasn't real. That was the biggest fear. It was just too good. Right? My entire journey had been just hard work and hard work and hard work. You know? It was just really hard to believe that seeing my family again was possible. It just is really special, because we neve thought that it would happen. You know? But, amazingly, he fit right in. My whole family just treated me like I had just been away on a school trip for a month. It was very, very surreal. That was the first time I realised real family will transcend time and distance and anything and everything that could come in between you. The following year, my Mum and sister came out to see me. So it was really special, that first time having Mum in New Zealand. I was overwhelmed by everything, really ` first time in New Zealand, and first time spend significant time with Mitchell. And there were so many things that I liked to do with Mitchell, so I was very keen to go back. Not long after that, you know, Hannah came back to study in New Zealand. That was 16 years after I had left my family. And so it was wonderful to have family with me again. Took me everywhere with him. We spend just about most of weekend together, cooking and movies and catching up with friends. He introduced me to dancing. We went to dancing together. Ceroc dancing is a great physical but also social sport. I discovered that by accident when I was with some friends from university. I really enjoyed the social connections and interactions as well, but also I got involved in competition, and I ended up winning the New Zealand championship in 1996, and then the following year, I won the Australasian Championship. (CHEERING, APPLAUSE) Mitchell was really an incredible dancer ` he had the moves, he had the rhythm, he... you know, he literally swept me off my feet. What really struck me about Karen very early on was actually how comfortable I felt around her. Our very first date was at a Thai restaurant. That was the very first time that he shared his life story with me because it was deeply personal to him. But I remember being very inspired by it and thinking, 'This man is incredible. He is remarkable and very unique.' After having been together for about two years, that was when I decided to propose. I had to propose in Vietnam,... in Saigon, where I was born. Mum and Dad were really happy, and it's not just that I reconnected with them, and then came back from time to time, but also came back when... there were important things happening in my life. Hannah came back to New Zealand permanently in 2001. It was really great, but it also gave me hope that our family can reunite again. That was the first time... the whole mission came back into view. TRUMAN: When I decided we had to leave the education system in Vietnam ` it's not very good for my children ` we talked to Mitchell, and he said, 'You have to go to New Zealand, and there I can help you and everything.' The greatest gift my parents ever gave me were my siblings. And so I'm very happy to have us all back together again. And I'm also very excited, because we are now all New Zealand citizens, and we're all Kiwis, and we're all part of what New Zealand is made of today. Most of us might take family for granted, but for Mitchell, his family is priority for him. To me, family doesn't just mean everything; it really is at the centre of my universe. So being far away from family for many, many years, I was very off-centred, and now it's great to be centred again, surrounded by my siblings and the next generation. For a number of years, I was on the Board of Refugee Services Aotearoa. I ended up joining the team from New Zealand that went to the UN once a year. It was very special being there. I was especially proud to sit at the table in the UN Assembly behind the sign that said 'New Zealand'. It was kind of surreal in a way, because having been a refugee in the camps,... under the protection of the UN, it felt like completing the circle of the refugee experience. Good evening, all my best friends. The winner is Mitchell Pham. (APPLAUSE) Exactly 30 years almost to the day after I received my New Zealand citizenship certificate, I was recognised with the Kea World Class New Zealand award. It had always been my passion to connect New Zealand and Asia. I'm very, very grateful to be recognised. JOHN: Mitchell has always been a quiet achiever. I think the Kea Awards was the first time where I've seen him really excited, so it clearly meant` it meant a lot for him. Remember, I struggled for many years to become a Kiwi. And to eventually be recognised alongside other great Kiwis by the country that is, you know, now my home, means a lot to me, but it also means a lot to many, many other migrants. And now to be getting the recognition in Vietnam for what he's done for Vietnam brings it full circle for him. So he was very excited to tell me about that one as well. Maybe he's just getting less humble in his old age. (LAUGHS) I truly believe that we are shaped by our experiences. But... it really is up to us to give our experiences their meaning. They were many experiences that... I would describe as adversity,... absolutely. But every single time... I've managed to survive these adversities, and so I feel that there is every possibility... that bad things end well. You know, to this day, I still don't fully... understand how my parents arrived at the decision to send me away when they could not come along with me. That would have been an incredibly difficult decision. Years later when I came home, Mum still did not want to talk about it. But they must have been very dark times for my parents. So I probably am the one who had it the easiest in my story. I believe that the refugee story doesn't just belong to the refugees; it belongs to everybody else that made their journey possible. So, the refugee story is actually a story of humanity. I am Mitchell Pham, and I am made in New Zealand. Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.