. . . # Inspector Gadget # Oooh-oooh # Inspector Gadget (WHISTLE BLOWS) # Inspector Gadget # Oooh-oooh # Inspector Gadget # Go, Gadget, go # Go, Gadget, go # Inspector Gadget # Oooh-oooh # Inspector Gadget # Go, Gadget, go! # (SCREAMING) (WHISTLES) Morning. Morning. Officer Brown, how do you do? (SCREAMING) Aaaaaaah! No brakes! Help, Uncle John! Somebody! Help! Ahhhhh! Ahhh! Where's Officer Brown? Heeeeelp! (SCREAMING) Hey, the dog! (ALL) The dog! Oh, Sparky. Officer Brown, you're my hero. Oh, please! It was nothing. All in a day's... All in a day's work, ma'am. Any cop would've done the same. Brain? Ugh! (GIGGLES) Having another hero-cop dream, Uncle John? Every time I close my eyes. How was school? Fine. Tomorrow's the day parents come and talk about their careers. Tomorrow's the day parents come and talk about their careers. Oh. I might have to work. Do you want me to ask off? Oh,... no. That's OK. Whose idea was it, anyway? Whose idea was it, anyway? But if it's important to you... Did the letter come? Letter? Gee, well, what letter? I don't... Oh, yes. Two years as a security guard isn't enough experience to be a cop. Uncle John, I'm sorry. Uncle John, I'm sorry. Me too. I can still secure and protect. I just think I could do more good as a cop. Wait a minute, tomorrow's your day off. Wait a minute, tomorrow's your day off. Oh. Well,... Look, I know that Nicole's dad is a lawyer and Kim's dad is a dentist. I just didn't want to embarrass you. If I only had that badge. It's not the badge, it's the heart behind it. I'm very proud of you. Fingers crossed. This chip will make the project work. Dad, concentrate. Try to move the foot. All right. Kick the ball. Nothing. I'm hungry. OK, I'll get us some dinner, then we keep going. Yeah. I'll call the guards so they don't search the delivery guy. Hello, Antonius? It's Brenda. Foot's not moving. Think about the foot! Yeah, the usual. (HUMS) Dad? What? Um... Um... Tap your foot again. What? Oh. That's weird. What were you thinking about? I was thinking about how much you remind me of your mother. (CHUCKLES) Wait a second. Wait a second. That's it! It's animated by will, not by thought. By your heart, not your head. Come on, try it again. Do it again. (LAUGHS) We did it! (BOTH) We moved the foot! Brenda Bradford. She's so beautiful. Wowser. A red nine. What? What? Oh, nothing. I was just talking to myself. Thelma, how do I look? Like a geek from Kansas who became a security guard. (MEOWING) Brenda Bradford. Well, good evening, young lady. It's been a while. (One, zero.) (Go.) Dr Bradford. Yes? Hi. Hi. I borrowed a book from your dad. You did? Power Learning Through Speed Study. Oh. It took me forever to get through it, but I really think it's going to pay off. I applied to the Riverton Police Force. Yeah? That's what I've always wanted to do, help people. Well, I've got to... Dr Bradford is out of the lab. Sikes, release the remote-control van. Nice stars. Yeah? Which ones? I just meant the whole... All of them. All of them. I thought you meant a specific cluster. I take everything so literally. I take everything so literally. So do I. Yeah? I forgot my keys. Oh. Sorry. OK. Good night, now. Night. Well, I'll just stay here then, and, er, secure the parking lot. Concentrate, you twit. Hey, that guy's speeding. 10mph in the parking lot, buddy! No, no, no. Straight ahead. Left! Oh, no! What was that? What was that? "We have an intruder. A black van." Where? Where? "Try that big whole in the wall!" Brenda. Oh! Hello, Artemus. I'll take that. No, wait! No, no, no. Just a mo... Ah! Arrivederci, Professor. Uh-oh! Someone will blame the old lady. Sniffy, let's go. (SOBS) I won't rest until I find whoever's responsible. (SOBS) Justice will be served. Brown! Where are you going? To catch the bad guys. This won't end well. (ENGINE REVVING) You're not on duty, Brown! You're not on duty, Brown! I'm always on duty. Oh! (LAUGHS) (SHOUTING) (CAR HORN) Oh, no. we're being chased by the hatchback squad. He-he-he-he-he. Hey, I have a hatchback. Whoa! Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh! Ahhhhh! Woah! Now you've crossed the line. Pull over, you! Stop the car, I want to enjoy this. Oh, gosh! Ah! (BOTH LAUGH) Ha-ha-ha! Uh-oh! # Yahoo-oo # Attention, driver of the wrecked limo attached to the Yahoo billboard! This is security officer John Brown. Please step out of the vehicle immediately, or... else! Fine work, Mr Security Guard. You got me. Here, have a victory cigar. No, thanks. (SIZZLING) Remember, smoking kills. I don't smoke. I don't smoke. Oh, really? You will now. (LAUGHS) Oh, boy. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhhhhhhh! My hand! Pardon me! Excuse me! Coming through! Have you seen John Brown? He's in there. Uncle John? Please wake up. I know you can hear me. Look who I brought to visit. Look, it's Brain. He came to see you. OK, um,... no. Not in his mouth, Brain. OK, stop. He has extensive tissue damage, 44 fractures, major concussion and extensive internal trauma. major concussion and extensive internal trauma. This man tried to save my father. He risked his life to protect our work. We've done all we can. We've done all we can. Not yet we haven't. Dr Bradford! Let her through. Clear for the mayor! Dr Bradford, both I and Police Chief Quimby here are very sorry to hear about your father. He was a good man. He was a good man. Oh. Did you know him? No, I didn't. How soon could you finish the Gadget project? He would've wanted me to finish it as soon as possible. He would've wanted me to finish it as soon as possible. With the English Patient there? That's enough, Quimby! That's enough, Quimby! Sorry, just doesn't look like you got off to a good start. How can you be sure this is the proper subject? Dad said I'd know when the right man came along. John Brown's the right man. Oh. Oh. Well, that's good enough for me! (LAUGHS) Let's go. (HOOTER) Chain saw! Bring in the hoses, stat. # Inspector Gadget # Oooh-oooh # Inspector Gadget... # Ready, and... break! It's a thing of beauty. The future of law enforcement reborn before our eyes. Columbo, Nintendo, all rolled into one. He'll make you obsolete. No overtime, no hazard pay, no blue flu. And he won't call me "Evil Gidget" behind my back. Oh, what do we have on the Artemus Bradford murder? We got a limo with no licence, some scrap metal from whatever broke into the lab. some scrap metal from whatever broke into the lab. Do we know what was stolen? According to Dr Bradford, a robotic foot. According to Dr Bradford, a robotic foot. Robotic foot. According to Dr Bradford, a robotic foot. Robotic foot? What kind of cyberfreak are we dealing with? Not bad, Kramer. Not bad at all. (SIGHS) It's got a sort of postmodern, Captain Hook kind of feel to it. Very diabolical. I deserve a dashing appellation. I deserve a dashing appellation. Dashing Appalachian? What is that? A hillbilly with a tuxedo? A hillbilly with a tuxedo? No, you idiot! It's a nickname. One that will send my enemies cowering in fear. Too bad Hook is taken, huh? How about Captain Claw? No, no, no, no, no. Or Santa Claw? Just "Claw". One word, like Madonna. Well, anyhoo, Captain, sir. Mr Claw. I know how much you like to maintain an active lifestyle so I have designed a few interchangeable options. Hi. Hi. Oh, very clever, Kramer. "Very clever, Kramer." Very clever indeed. Well, first we have the opera hand... (SOPRANO SINGS) (SOPRANO SINGS) ..for those special nights out. And I know how much you enjoy Japanese food, so I made you a sushi hand. See there? Tasty. Hm. I don't remember if you enjoy the medieval fare - Kramer? That's enough. Sikes, bring on the foot. Agh! Oh. Ooops! (WINCHING SOUND) (CUCKOO!) (PING!) What the...? What have they got me on? What have they got me on? (AEROSOL SPRAYING) Oooh! D'oh! Help! (PINGING) Waaah! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Oh! Your thumb's on fire. Oh! Your thumb's on fire. I seem to be having a reaction. Oh! Oh! Mr Brown. Oh. Oh, it's you. It's all right. Um, I, er,... I don't know what's wrong, I seem to be ill. I can't seem to remember anything. I can't seem to remember anything. You may not remember much, you suffered a major concussion. What happened?! What happened?! You have just come out of a long recovery. You are now a network of tissue, hardware and software. a network of tissue, hardware and software. No! I gotta get out of here. Mr Brown,... Mr Brown, no. Come back. We're going to go... I'll take... Oh! Look, Mr Brown, I know that this is all new for you, and it must feel... strange. You will adjust. My head is very heavy. Don't worry, that's easy to fix. Ooogh! I don't want to be like this. And I don't understand. What happened to me? John, we saved you life. I'm not me any more, I'm a hardware store. This is a huge opportunity. You were designed as the first cyber police officer for the Riverton police. You said you wanted to help people, this is your chance. You said you wanted to help people, this is your chance. I do want to help people. I know. Waaaaah! Oh! I'll be with you every step of the way. OK. I'd shake your hand, but you might lose an eye. This android could have a myriad of uses. Shock troops, kamikaze pilots, hit men. International rescue workers, teachers... Yes, I was getting to them. Let's see him in action. Let's see him in action. OK. Oooh. I'll just strap myself in. OK. Turn me on, Kramer. Move, darn you! Move! It's not. It's a lemon. (POWERING DOWN SOUND) Thank you for that, Sikes. You put it on. You put it on. Why can't he do it? He has intelligent thought. That's useful to me. Now, strap you in. Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage? Perhaps if we give him maximum voltage? Yeah, that might work. Ah! Ah-ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah! I want my... Momma! Arrrrrgh! Ow! Oh! Ooowww! Oooh! Oh! Oh! Something got left behind. What does Brenda have that I don't? This is the most important component - the neuron synapse amplifier. It's a high-powered chip that increases the charge in the brain wave to move the machinery we built into your body. Without this, the most powerful robotics chip in the world, your body couldn't function. Any more questions? Any more questions? No, I'm fine. I guess it just takes a little getting used to. Good. I'll give you your manual to study. (CREAKS) (SQUAWKS LIKE A CHIMP) (DRONES) Volume one. Uh-huh. Looks like the usual stuff. Extendo-legs, helicopter hat. Guess I'm all set, then. Right. Oh! One more thing. I almost forgot. It's important. Your new wardrobe. The Gadget Suit. If you want to operate one of the gadgets you say, "Go, go, gadget..." and name the device. Couldn't I say something more official, like, "In the name of justice"? like, "In the name of justice"? You could but it wouldn't work. But, "Go, go, gadget" sounds so... My father designed the program and he - Oh! Oh, oh, oh. It's "Go, go, gadget." I really like it. OK. Good. I'm glad. Let's say there were two guys trying to rob a jewellery store and you wanted to trip them up. What would you do? What would you do? (TICKING) OK, er, let me think. OK, er, let me think. ("JEOPARDY" MUSIC) Go, go, gadget. Oil slick. (BUZZER) That's not oil, it's toothpaste! (LAUGHS) Stop it! Stop! (LAUGHS) Oh! Ohhh! Say, "Go, go, gadget. Stop!" Go, go, stop! Go, go, stop! You're going to need some work. (HUMS) (INDIAN ACCENT) Try to visualise your goal. Concentrate. Put everything out of your head, except obtaining the balls. OK. He's like the Six Million Dollar Man. Ah. Ah! Ah! What? What? (HIGH-PITCHED VOICE) Ungrip! Ungrip! Turn it off! Well, I guess six million dollars doesn't buy what it used to. Well, I guess six million dollars doesn't buy what it used to. Excuse me. Well, I guess six million dollars doesn't buy what it used to. (HIGH-PITCHED) He is not a man, he's a monster. Oooh! I've got something special to show you. Ta-da! The Gadgetmobile. Wow. It's for you. I made it myself. You made me a car? The only thing anyone's ever made me is a sweater. All right. Now, it may look simple, but it has just about as many factory extras as you do. Come on. Get in there. Oh. Oh. Watch the coat. OK. Gosh, she's incredible. Oh, it's a he. Excuse me? You'll see. OK. It has voice activation, ejection seats, a metamorphic camouflage system, a cardio homing device, a periscope - a cardio homing device, a periscope - Dr Bradford? There's something I have to ask you. There's something I have to ask you. Just say, "Go, go, Gadgetmobile." Yes, but will... Go, go, Gadgetmobile? "Good morning, Riverton! Who's in the car? I work alone." "Before we hit the road I gotta tell you something. Duck!" I don't think the car likes me! I don't think the car likes me! "Car? I'm a crime-fighting machine." "Bat turn! Haven't you fallen out yet?" No, sir, I haven't. Oh! "Who are you, rookie?" "Who are you, rookie?" Officer John Brown. You're exceeding the speed limit. "Speed limits are for cars, not the Gadgetmobile." Are you talking to me? Are you talking to me? "Who's not wearing a seat belt?" "Got to wear the belt, baby." "It's a Disney movie. I'm gonna fight some crime." "Whoo! More Bat turns!" Can you slow down? I... I get car sick. I get people sick when a rookie thinks he's good enough for Dr B. What makes you think I was putting the moves on Dr Bradford? "Hey, I got heat sensors!" "I know what you were thinking when Dr B smiled. Come clean, or I'll bounce you out." or I'll bounce you out." My only interest in Dr Bradford is professional. "(LAUGHS) Professional, huh?" "Good. Keep it that way, and that's an order." "You got it?" I'm the inspector, you're the car! "I know what you are." "Bl-lugh! Don't make me go De La Hoya on you." Isn't there an off button? A mute? Sorry! "You have to read the manual first." "Watch out there, now." Whoa! Aggggghhh! "Oh, man, I got a june bug in my grille." Shouldn't we work together, help people? "Why didn't you say so?" "Yo, Clouseau!" "Nine o'clock. Left, you idiot!" Open the lock. Shut up. Let me do it. Very observant, Gadgetmobile. Time to do some good. Lost your keys, fellas? Er,... keys? Keys, yeah. Allow me to help. Huh? "Say bye-bye to the rookie." Here. This ought to do it. Oh, thanks. "Yo, check out the bowling shirts." I'm a bowler myself. You work at the prison? Er,... yeah, yeah. I'll be in a law-enforcement bowling league. Here. There you are. Here. There you are. We'll see you. "That's it! Step away from the Viper." (SIREN) Hey, what's the big idea? Hey, what's the big idea? "We got us some jailbreakers." We should inform the prison... Wait! "I'll go after them. You say, 'Ten-four'" Ten-four. (SIREN) Go, go, gadget. Coils! Skates! I meant skates! "Come here, Carl Lewis!" Go, go, forward. Oh, for crying out loud! Go, go, forward, please! For Pete's sake! Halt! Huh? "Sit back and enjoy the bars." "You'll be looking at them 20 years." Whoa! Whoa! Uh-oh! Oh, gosh! Go, go, gadget. Grappling hook. Waaaah! Wowser! (TV) "Riverton has a new cop on the beat." "Here's Tira." "Here's Tira." "In a great display of courage Riverton's first cyber crime fighter apprehended two escaped convicts." "The soon-to-be inspector will be inducted into the police department..." Why, it's that annoying little security guard. "..budget surplus to fund..." So he's the duck they plucked for the Gadget programme. Irony abounds. (MEOWING) (MEOWING) Give that here! Sikes? Yes, boss? Get my tuxedo ready. Tomorrow promises to be quite an evening. So, anyone special going tonight? Well, the mayor, the governor. Any doctors? Doctors? You know,... ..female doctors? Very attractive female doctors? (ROMANTIC MUSIC) (ROMANTIC MUSIC) Wowser. (SQUAWKS LIKE A CHIMP) Is it that obvious? Come on, Uncle John, you just need to... loosen up, be cool. You been talking to my car? What? You'll see. Fire! Fire! Wrong finger. Careful! (LAUGHTER) ("INSPECTOR GADGET" THEME SONG) (DOORBELL) Excuse me,... Inspector. May I have this dance? May I have this dance? Oh, sure. Yeah. Yeah. You bet ya. Er, here. Let's see if I still know how to do this. (GIGGLES) (ALL) Oooooh! (ALL) Ahhhhh. Not bad, John Brown. May I cut in? Hello. Sanford Scolex, we were at Harvard together. Hello. Sanford Scolex, we were at Harvard together. We were? Hello. Sanford Scolex, we were at Harvard together. Oh, you don't recognise me? I've changed. (I was obese.) Maybe you remember me better like this. Ah, yes! (BOTH LAUGH) Wow! It's nice to see you again. It's nice to see you again. Here you go. You look... different. Ugh! Phew! Well, I'll go get us some champagne. Great idea. Three flutes of bubbly, Mr Gizmo. We'll be right here. Brenda, I'm not at all surprised you became such a renowned scientist, you were always the most brilliant one in school. No, I just... I was a hard worker. I used to watch the way you wrinkled your nose, concentrating on your calculations. You did? You took my breath away. You took my breath away. I did? Mmm. Brenda, dance with me. You remind me of a little thing Godzilla said. Oh! Ouf! What will you do now the Gadget programme is complete? (ASTONISHED GASPS) Huh? (CROWD GASPS) You're done with the Gadget thing, come join me at Scolex Industries. (COOS OF ADMIRATION) A-hem. I could only carry two glasses. Oh. A bientot, ma cherie. (GULPS) Ah! John, he-he just offered me a job. He said that I would have unlimited funding, my own lab and complete control of all my research. But what about the Gadget programme? Are you sure you've worked out all the bugs? Well, um,... Oh, how touching. The creator and the creation. The press would like to take some photos of us with our boys in blue. Let's go. Photo op! Get ready, boys, here's the dynamic duo. The camera is your friend! Let's get a big smile! Chief, if you don't mind my asking, when do I get started on my big case? Oh, soon enough, Gadget. I have a few assignments for you to cut your teeth on first. Inspector? Over here, please. I've got to talk to the chief, he's not taking me seriously. "Boo-hoo." "Nobody likes a whiner. What are you going to do about it?" "Nobody likes a whiner. What are you going to do about it?" I'm ready to get real tough. Here comes Gadget. Here comes Gadget. That your new partner? What you got, cat burglar? What you got, cat burglar? A real felon, huh? Or feline? Cat got your tongue? Inspector Gadget reporting, sir, with the thirteenth kitten I've pulled out of a tree this week. with the thirteenth kitten I've pulled out of a tree this week. So? with the thirteenth kitten I've pulled out of a tree this week. Permission to speak freely. No. Well, if you're going to pout... Thank you, sir. What I want to say is that, while I appreciate cute and fluffy as much as the next officer, I fear that the kitten rescue patrol is a misuse of my capabilities. I fear that the kitten rescue patrol is a misuse of my capabilities. Hmm. I fear that the kitten rescue patrol is a misuse of my capabilities. I fear that the kitten rescue patrol is a misuse of my capabilities. I don't get it. Every time you - I won't be happy until the murderers of Artemus Bradford are caught. I won't be happy until the murderers of Artemus Bradford are caught. Oh. And I won't be happy I won't be happy until the murderers of Artemus Bradford are caught. until you're off the force. And being sold, piece by piece, at some garage sale. at some garage sale. I want that case, sir. See, the Bradford case requires real police work. You're not a real police inspector. You're just a publicity stunt that we have to put up with. So, why don't you just about face and get out of my office? Okey-dokles, sir. I've pretty much completed Prometheus, per your specifications. The likeness is quite convincing. The likeness is quite convincing. Good. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Isn't that Dr Bradford's private data? Isn't that Dr Bradford's private data? Oh, yes. Isn't that Dr Bradford's private data? I tapped into her files and stole her research. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? "Why would you do that?" (LAUGHS) Ah. Ohhh. Kramer, don't look so nonplussed. Now that Dr Bradford is part of the Scolex team we share everything, or at least we will. Oh. Well, I think sharing files is a great way to bring the company together. Imagine my relief to have your support(!) Anyway, without the chip, I don't think... Oh, so you made the chip. Looks like the guy we almost killed. I didn't hear that. Chips ahoy. (GASPS) Wowser! Wow. Oh, sweet Lordy. Good morning, Robogadget. You have just been animated by the most... ..complex computer technology in the world. What will you do now? What will you do now? I'm gonna kick some butt. (CHUCKLES) Very saucy. It looks so real. Oh! Very good! Yes! Oh, Robo, nothing can stop us now! I gotta make my own case. B, B, B, B, B, B, B...? Bradford. Go, go, gadget. Magnifying glass. Increase magnification. Increase magnification. "Si"? Go, go, Spanish translation. "Si" means "yes". "Si" means "yes". I knew it. Inspector Gadget, can I have your autograph? Got any money? Uh-uh. Yaaaah! Ahhhhhhhh! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-ha! # Hey now, you're a rock star # Get the show on # Get paid # All that glitters is gold... # All right, so I'll rule out the Spanish. What else could SI stand for? Space Invaders? Nah. Scuba Instructor? No! "How about Super Idiot!" "How about Super Idiot!" No, that's not it. Uncle John? I think you have a loose wire. "Ha-ha!" Er,... what about that? "Scolex Industries?" "Finally, there's a detective in the house!" "Finally, there's a detective in the house!" Wait a minute. "Finally, there's a detective in the house!" If Scolex stole the foot, then he murdered Dr... Oh, no. Brenda. "Ti-i-ime to work!" "Can you find the Scolex building or should I call the police?" I am the police. I am the police. Wait, what about me? "You're smarter than him. I don't mind baby-sitting you but tell the beagle the armrest's not a chew toy." (TV) "Inspector Gadget has gone berserk in downtown Riverton." "Eyewitnesses said he was laughing while he stacked these four cars." What's gone wrong? "He's destroyed private property, and set fire to a man's beard." Go, go, gadget. Grappling hook. Whooooooa! John! What happened? I'll get Scolex, maybe he can help. Brenda, it's not safe here. Scolex is a liar, a thief,... He's not a very good guy. Go home, lock your doors! Stay alive! Whatever happens, I will find you. Whoa! Too far! Whoooooo... ..ooooaaaah! Ooh, that hurt. (COUGHS) Wowser. I knew it. You'll pay for this, Scolex. Go, go, suction shoes. Hello? Hello! Sandy, is that you? Wow. I finally get to meet you. Sandy built me to your specifications. Sandy built me to your specifications. You're me? Sandy built me to your specifications. We are, like, totally twins. You must be Brenda. Sandy was right, I'm you. Only prettier. We share brain waves. You thinking about gelato? Cos I am. I gotta go find John. Don't you want to hang out? (SNORING) John! (LAUGHS) Outside! Oh, it's so beautiful! Hey, Brenda, let's hang out, have some quality girl time. (SNIPPING) (GRUNTS LIKE A PIG) Gotcha! (ALARM) Whoa! Whoooooa! Ouf! "Yahoo!" Huh? Go, go, gadget. Blades. We have a blader. "Blader holding the foot." "You can run, you can't hide." Go, go, gadget. Brakes! "(LAUGHS)" "Smile!" John! # I got a wild, wild life # # I got a wild, wild life # Don't you ever stop? This is much cooler than being in the lab. All Sandy ever wants to talk about is that gross foot. (GIGGLES) What foot? The one he stole and copied to make me. Brenda! I'm programmed to be a cheerleader. Watch. Ready? OK! # B-R-E-N-D-A! # Brenda, that spells Brenda # Brenda! Brenda! # La, la, la, la, la # Greetings, Inspector. Glad you could drop in. I owe you one, Scolex. Oh? You blew up me and my Chevette. I really liked that car. Well, you crushed my hand, I really liked that hand. So go, go, get over it. I don't know what you're up to Scolex, but you'll never get away with it. (LAUGHS) Oh, how cliche, Inspector. I think somebody's been watching too many Saturday morning cartoons. Huh? Unfortunately, Gadget, in the real world evil quite often prevails. 'Fraid so. Pull him up. Now,... ..look how your replacement is helping people cross the street. He looks just like me. I don't get it. Why would you do this? To make teachers. Shut up! Oh. I'll tell you why. To make technowarriors that never get tired, never get hungry and never say "no". Every army in the world will be made up of my creations. Imagine the confusion, huh? Imagine the perks. Comprende? Comprende? Yeah, I comprende. No, no, no, no. I comprendo. Yo comprendo. Conjugate the verb, for pity's sake. Oh. Now pull the NSA chip. You're kidding, right? He's always kidding, I never know. He's always kidding, I never know. No. I'll make sure no one else can develop an android. Do it, or you'll be building yourself a new head. Oh. He-he-he! New head. OK, I'm not here right now. I'm on the beach with dolphins and... Look, it's a starfish. I don't feel so good. I'm sorry. Good help is so hard to find. Do you mind if I do the honours? Well, here goes. Arrivederci. Ciao, ciao. (POWERING DOWN SOUND) (POWERING DOWN SOUND) (CHUCKLES) Goodbye, Mr Chip. Dump this idiot in the junkyard. Dump this idiot in the junkyard. Yes, boss. (LAUGHS) No, not that idiot. This one. I wish you'd be more specific. Awful lot of idiots around here. (TYPES) Attention, Robogadget. Destroy the city and have some fun. "OK. You with the beard!" Hello, John? Anybody home? "Sit back and enjoy the ride." "I'm driving." "Kids, don't try this at home." Where's John? I thought he was with you. (SIGHS) This is bad. We gotta find him. There's something rotten in Riverton. Where you going? The chief is very upset. I'll have to arrest you. Hey, get... Ahhh! Obstacle! Strike! Next time you pay for a gadget, don't forget the extended warranty. (KNOCK ON DOOR) What? Let's talk, Chief. Sure. What do you want to talk about? Politics? The Florida Marlins? I-I-I know you're upset about yesterday. That was the job talking. I-I want you on the Bradford case. In fact, I want you to lead the Bradford case. I think... Freeze! Shoot him! Rrrrah! (TYPEWRITER PINGS) Adios, boys. Weeeeeeee! # Wild thing! # You make my heart... sing # You make everything... (SIREN / ALARM) # Come on, wild thing! # Wild thing... # (SCREAMING) "I don't like the look of this." What would Uncle John be doing here? I mean, are you sure we picked up the right signal? "Of course I have. I have Lojack on my father's side." (GROWLING / SCREAMING) (ROARS / SCREECHES) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (ROARS) "I don't like it. I know what dogs do when they're nervous." Stop! Penny! Uncle John! Uncle John! Penny! Uncle John! Ow! Oh! Ah! No! Uncle John, wake up! Please, don't tell me... No! The NSA chip is gone. He doesn't need the chip. He's got the heart. He could do it all by himself. (WIPERS SQUEAKING) "Huh?" "(INSPECTOR GADGET THEME MUSIC)" It can't be. John? Uncle John? John, can you hear us? John, can you hear us? He's alive! Brenda? Penny? You're alive. It's a miracle. He doesn't need the chip. It's my Uncle John. Oh! Oooh! (BARKS) Ha-ha! "We'll make a cop out of you yet!" "Stick some newspaper under the beagle." "This engine has two speeds - fast and 'Whoa! What was that?'" Where's Scolex? "I'll find him, you drive." Let's see. I feel the need, the need for speed. Whooooooa! If I'm home late, it just means it took a little longer to overthrow Scolex's evil empire. OK? "Later, Penny." Whoooa! Left turn! Right turn! Whoooa! Where'd they go? "Heads up. Evil dude's limo at 12 o'clock." Left! Got it. OK, take the wheel. When I give the signal, slow down. OK, take the wheel. When I give the signal, slow down. OK. OK, take the wheel. When I give the signal, slow down. Whoo-oo! Now! Gotcha! "Nice aim, Doc." Thank you. You're under arrest for the murder of Artemus Bradford. You're under arrest for the murder of Artemus Bradford. God, you're irritating. And you, you're under arrest for impersonating a police officer. What a tangled web we - What a tangled web we - Get rid of him. (LAUGHS) You just ran a stop sign! Hot, hot, hot. Hot foot! Whoa! Go, go, gadget. Skis! Oh! Er,... Go, go, gadget. Snow! Go, go, gadget. Water! Oh! Oh! Go, go, gadget... Whoa! Whooooooa! Hmm. Whoa! (TYRES SCREECHING) Ohhhhhhh! (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, oh,... OH! "Hey, Stretch, pull over!" (CHUCKLING) Oh, look! "You don't bump the Gadgetmobile, the Gadgetmobile bumps you." (LAUGHS) I'll go get him, boss. Sit tight. Watch out, behind you! Ah! We're gonna have some fun! "I'll make you into a compact. Whoa! Time for a Bat turn." Don't lose that limo. "On the case, Doc." # "The Good, The Bad & The Ugly" - Ennio Morricone You know how to dance, don't you? I was taking lessons in the hope - Shut up and dance! Uh-oh. (GUNFIRE) # Dee-da-da-da... Ah! Ow! Ah! # Go, go, gadget. Air bag. (GUNFIRE) Oh, Sikes, you lost her. Oh, Sikes, you lost her. I'll try to find her, boss. It's not good, sir. "Let's use the element of surprise." "Oh, surprise." What a pleasant surprise. Brenda, Brenda. Brenda, Brenda. You! Ah! No, Claw! Brenda, you know, I love it when you call me Claw. So, what's new? So, what's new? Hello?! You killed my father! (HOOTER) Time! Huh? Gadget here. "It's about Brenda." "Scolex has taken her to the roof and I can't fit in the elevator." "Scolex has taken her to the roof and I can't fit in the elevator." I'm on my way. "Scolex has taken her to the roof and I can't fit in the elevator." Know what they say about nice guys finishing last? Huh? Well, they were wrong. Go, go, gadget. Oil slick. Toothpaste? What happened to you? "Put it this way, I got the Skittles kicked out of me." I'll be right back. "(GROANS) Penny, why are you here?" "(GROANS) Penny, why are you here?" Evidence! "(GROANS) Penny, why are you here?" Hey, Gadget, it's a clip-on. OK, Brain. No, you go that way. I'll go this way. (GRUNTING) I could be working in my dad's store right now selling nails, hammers and power drills. Power drills rock! Get in there! (CLATTERING) Oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Who are you? Whoa, there, big boy. Hi, there. Hi, there. Hello. Why is that foot in the toilet? I was... I was cleaning it. So, what's your name? So, what's your name? I... I'm Sikes. You know, you look more like the kind of guy who should be,... ..um,... ..helping someone pick out good weather stripping. My old man had a hardware store. (RINGING) Telephone! It's mine. Hello? Hello? "Hi, Mr Gadget." Nicole and Kim? Nicole and Kim? "Is Penny there?" No, but you can call her at home, OK? "She's not home." OK. Bye. What do they mean, "She's not home"? Ahhh! Whoa! Weee-eee! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh! (LAUGHS) I don't get it, what's your plan? Since my dreams for a global... Ow! (SNARLING) My pants! Oh, God! Mongrel! Next thing you know,... Next thing you know,... you're a minion. (SOBS) A minion. Ooh! Oh! Oh! Ow! Ow! Hey, don't touch that. (GASPING / SHRIEKING) Hey! Hey, what'd you do that for? We shouldn't be fighting. We've a lot in common, but I have nicer teeth. I hoped that we could've worked together, been partners. Together, you and I could've ruled the world. You should've quit while you were ahead. Cannonbaaaaaaaaall! Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (WHISTLING) Go, go, gadget. Chopper. Contact. (REVVING) Oh. Ohh-ohhh! Ohhhh! Whoa! How do you fly this thing? Oh, no. Oh, oh, oh, bad. Oh, bad, bad, bad. (SCREAMS) No! My hair! Sit back and relax, darling. Whoa! Whooooooaaaaa! Ooooh! Oh! Whoooa! I can see my house from here. Oooh! Two things, Scolex! One, you are insane. Two, I liked you better fat! (MEOWS) Bring on the brownies! Ha! Wheel in the waffles! I'm ready to binge. Ha-ha-ha! Darn! He won't give us a break. For the third time, Sanford Scolex, you are under arrest. No! Go, go, go, go, go, go, Gadget! (LAUGHS) Ha-ha! John! Let me give you a lift. (LAUGHS) Where can I drop you off? I doubt you really care. Oh! Oh! John! I'm up here, take my hand! John, how are you doing? John! "John!" (LAUGHS) John, I know you can save us, think of something! I'm working on it. Hurry! Oh! Ah! (INDIAN MUSIC) 'Try to visualise your goal.' Ah! Back to the drawing board. Brenda, jump on my back! Don't. We can work this out, darling, sweetie pie. (SCREAMS) I think I'm out of control. Waaaaah! Go, go, gadget. Air brakes! Go, go, wings! I don't know what to go, go! Go, go, wings! I don't know what to go, go! Didn't you read the manual? Go, go, gadget. Balloon! Go, go, gadget. Parachute? Go, go, giant trampoline! Go, go, circus net! Go, go, feather bed! Go, go, gadget. Parasail! Parakeet? Paraglider! Parasol! Umbrella? Umbrella? John, you did it! You saved our lives. You saved our lives. I did? I guess I did. Wowser! Watch out for the big head. Watch out for the big head. Understood. Arrogance sneaks up - No, that big head! Oh, no! John! Are you OK? Gadget? Oh, hello, Brenda. Are you breathing? I think so. How's your vallecular equilibrator feel? Feels pretty good. How's your axle lubricator? It's functioning fully. Oh, Gadget. What is it? Is my occipital piston slipping? Is my occipital piston slipping? No. I just never realised what beautiful brown eyes you have. Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! "It's a high-fly Scolex." "Gadgetmobile pulls under, the crowd goes crazy." "He makes the catch." We made it! "Ladies and gentlemen, Scolex is out, that is the game." "Gadgetmobile, one. Scolex, zippo." "And the fans rush the field." "No autographs, please." There's been a mistake. Chief! Sorry, but I have to place your uncle under arrest. Don't move! I thought you'd want to know Scolex created an evil copy of my uncle to terrorise Riverton. Is that true? Every word of it. She held up a mirror to my misguided ways in the service of Mr Scolex. (BARKS) I'm sorry, Chief. Here's the foot. I didn't know any better. Et tu, Sikes? Cover him! "They're all yours." Wowser. Excuse me! Press! Mayor on the premises! A shepherd needs sheep. It is a credit to myself and my administration that we initiated the Gadget programme. Gadget! (SHOUTING) Arrivederci, Gadget! This is not goodbye. I'll get you next time, Gadget! I'll get you! Wowser. "A happy ending." "Ah, what could be better than true love?" "Whoo, cute little bug. Wait up, fraulein." "Did you know I speak German? Fahrvergnugen, baby!" IMS Subtitles NICOLA HERD # Inspector Gadget... Welcome to Robobrendaerobics. I'll be you host, Robobrenda. Follow me, it'll be fast. Kick and kick and kick and fall! # Inspector Gadget # Inspector Gadget # Oooh-oooh # Inspector Gadget # Inspector Gadget... Hi. My name is Sikes. (ALL) Hi, Sikes. I'm a minion. But it's been 30 days since I last kissed up to anyone! # Go, Gadget, go... This is the coolest watch. It's a radio, computer and a phone. Testing. Testing. Brain, say something. Come in, over. Brain is not here. Please leave a message at the sound of the woof. Woof! "Hey, thanks for watching my movie, even though we called it Inspector Gadget." "Things are going well with the Volkswagen, we got married in a drive-thru chapel." "We're expecting a subcompact any day now." "Might call him the Love Bug, which is not a plug for the Walt Disney Company, but I'm sure his first words will be, 'I'm going to Disneyland.'" "But don't leave just yet, all these fine people in the credits made me look good." # You can call me when you want me # If you need a friend you got me # I'll be your everything # Fulfil your every dream # We can do it automatic # I just call out "Go, go, gadget" # I'll be your everything # You see I'm everything you want # And more # I knew # The moment that we met # I had to be a part of you # Someone you won't forget # So don't say # Like the other few # No matter what's going down # You'll find me next to you # Girl, I'll be your superman # I'll do what no one can # You'll find that I'll be everything that you need # Deep down inside of you # No matter what you do # You'll see I'm everything you want and more # You can call me when you want me # If you need a friend you got me # I'll be your everything # Fulfil your every dream # We can do it automatic # I just call out "Go, go, gadget" # I'll be your everything # You see I'm everything you want # And more # No sweatin' # The Claw is on his way # Don't worry now, I'll catch him # You don't need to be afraid # Somehow, someway # I'll find out what's the deal # And I'll be there to rescue you # You'll see that I'm for real # Girl, I'll be your superman # I'll do what no one can # You'll find that I'll be everything that you need # Deep down inside of you # No matter what you do # You'll see I'm everything you want and more # You can call me when you want me # If you need a friend you got me # I'll be your everything # I'll be your everything # Girl # Fulfil your every dream # Fulfil your every dream # Everything you want... # We can do it automatic # I just call out "Go, go, gadget" # I'll be your everything # You'll see I'm everything you want # And more # Oooooh-ooh-ooooh... # And more # It's true, girl # Don't you know # Call me when you want me # When you need me, baby... # For more captioned programmes see Teletext p 502. Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air. Captioning NZ 2003 "Wow! You made it through the credits and we didn't offer you anything for free." "Movie audiences are the best in the world." "Now get out. Go home. Vamos." "I am tired. Please go home."