Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019 OUTBOARD MOTOR Welcome! Dr Atherton, I presume? Wait! Not so fast! We're in a hurry, Mr Manley! We depart immediately. Miguel Higueras, our assistant. Mucho gusto. Muy bien. Sorry I'm late. I was held up in Caracas with fever. Be sick on your own time, Mr Manley! I want close-ups of each specimen, the forest and tepuis. Tepui is Indian for a mountain with species isolated for millions of years. Any man-eating dinosaurs? Only Atherton! We'll hit a new one today. Great (!) Anybody ever get lost? It's said men who climb to the "rain desert" never return. But don't worry ` we'll fly! He friendly? I hope so. He's our guide. Stick close. Veinticuatro! 24-hour ant. They bite? They kill, Mr Manley, in sufficient numbers. So do some of the frogs. Don't touch any! Great (!) This is where we're going. We land here, then walk down. It's a sinkhole. Thousands of years of water have torn away the rock. "It's deep, 2,000ft, and dark at the bottom. You need flash equipment." Atencion bajando, muchachos! Stegolepis. Nutritious enough to live on for weeks. Thanks, I'll pass! Plants your speciality? Identifying new insects and spiders. Great, just what the world needs (!) More bugs (!) What's your speciality, Manley? Football. (SPANISH) Vamos! Vamos! No one mentioned poison ants and frogs, but a 2,000ft drop?! This is for the equipment. Our guide will show us another way. Vamonos! Mr Manley! Yeah, yeah, yeah! Que pasa? No voy. No voy. What's with him? This is as far as he'll go. What? Here we are. Careful. Careful, watch your step, man. Amazing! The air temperature's dropped 10 degrees in 100m! Not far. Down there. (SPANISH) Arrgghh! (SPANISH) Manley, you all right? Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine. I just... (SPANISH) What'd he say? Be careful. You're too big for us to carry out. Vamonos! Wait up! Wait up! What's that thing do? Ever thrown a firecracker into a pond? Maybe when I was a kid. Why? What happened? Stuff floated to the surface. Exactly. Everybody ready? BELLOWING Prepare yourselves, gentlemen. For what? For pictures, Manley, pictures! What is it? I think it's a new species of butterfly. We could call it Photius Manlii. < THUD Extraordinary! Look at these markings! Don't just sit there! Are you sure it's dead? Yes. Quite dead. Two more. Very unusual. So many spiders this size in a confined area! > < Look at the abdomen. < We must find a live specimen! (SCREAMS) HISSING What the devil ` It was alive! Don't be ridiculous. It's just a spider! It wasn't just a spider. It was potentially a species unchanged for millions of years. And you squash it! Profesor! No esta muerto. Es increible! No esta muerto. Impossible. They should be dead. Very aggressive! We'll take two alive, and preserve two. Are you sure that'll do it? This stuff will kill an elephant. Millions of years, then we come along! (SPANISH) How long will it take to get back? What's wrong? Still worried about dinosaurs (?) This place gives me the creeps. Incredible! What is? They have no reproductive organs. Almost like worker bees or soldier ants. Well, if these are the soldiers, I'd hate to see the general! How are you feeling? Like hell. This fever's killing me. You don't look so good. Take a rest. Ow! (CHOKES) Senor! Senor! Profesor! Profesor! Profesor! Esta muerto? The fever. * Make sure we've got all his film. Have we notified his family? I've contacted the US Consulate. OK, seal him up. I wish you wouldn't complain about my driving! You're pushing it, that's all! Take it easy! Wait a minute! All right. Can you give me a hand? Oh, yeah. Oh, gee... Oh God! I think I'll go move the hearse. I'm sorry to pester you in this already difficult time. I know we already decided on an open casket, but we should maybe reconsider. I'm not sure how they work down in South America,... ..but let me say their preservation methods differ from ours. No, you'd be welcome to come down and decide. But in this already difficult time, I'm not sure I would. You do have an option... we can put a photo on top of the casket. > Yeah. The one you had in the newspaper would be nice. > Yeah. Oh, good. > All right. > (WHIMPERING) CAWING SQUAWK OK, kids, stake out your rooms! Give me that! Shelley! Oh, Ross, smell that air! (SNEEZING) Oh God! Before we find what broke in the move, and that the breakfront doesn't fit in the dining room,... ..let's chant, "We did the right thing." BOTH: We did the right thing. For the kids. For all of us. Goodbye crime, goodbye grime. Goodbye culture, goodbye friends... < Hey, Dad, there's a dead bird over here! Well, don't touch it! Just go into the house and find your sister. Ross, the town is yours! You're the doctor. Is there a more respected figure? Respect is fine, but I want to be feared (!) Easy with that! That's ` Don't ` Don't want to agitate the sediments. Chateau Margaux. $127 a bottle. Tasty, huh? At that price, who can drink it? Goes in the basement. I mean, the cellar. The wine cellar. I need a big padlock, protect my investment. < Dad! Dad! What? What's wrong? Behind the boxes, a spider! A spider? OK. It was ugly! This big! Calm down! You're in the country now. OK? Let's go find that spider. Let's find Mom and take care of it. Honey, we're in the living room! We need you to kill a spider. All right. Where is it? Over there on the box! Killing a spider? Cool! Bad luck to kill one in a new house! Just made that up, dear? OK. Everything's OK. > Oh, poor thing! It's more scared than we are. Let's give it a home in the barn. Yeah, good idea, Shell. How come you're not afraid of bugs like Dad? I'm not afraid of all bugs! Careful of rusty nails. Dad, chill out! Right here. Yeah! There. OK. You won't miss being in the thick of things? With those stars winking at us, crickets singing? We are in the thick of things. I mean work. Strokes from the boss. Christmas bonuses. Office politics. Caffeine. Adrenalin. Steady income. We'll be fine. Between my severance and your potential patients, we'll be fine. When are you seeing Dr Metcalf? Thursday morning. The old coot passes me the torch at 10am sharp. Wait. We can unpack in the morning. I have some Napoleon brandy in the basement ` cellar. Ross, I'm exhausted. It's bad luck not to make love in a new house. You just made that up, didn't you, dear? "I have terrific news. At least, for my patients it's terrific." < My wife is not thrilled. What's that, Dr? I've decided to postpone retirement. I don't know for how long, but... But? When I thought hard, I realised there's only one thing to do when you retire. Too many friends have done that six months, a year, after giving up their professions. But you... When we spoke four months ago, you assured me... I'm not ready to retire, and if my wife can't rush me into it, you sure as hell can't, either. Excuse me. You got to feed the meter, partner. Well, I was just leaving. Hmm, a little late, though. I do have medical plates. Oh, right! You're that new doctor! Ross Jennings. Sheriff Lloyd Parsons. You're a Yale grad? That's right, yeah. Yeah! Just a school, isn't it (?) That's enough, Lloyd Parsons. A young doctor comes here, and you write a ticket? The whole town ought to do this! Your ticker-tape parade! That's littering, Miz Hollins! Lloyd's been a bully since 5th grade. I know ` I held him back! Walk me to my automobile. Thanks for the intervention! How'd you know who I was? We're neighbours. I gave you a standing ovation when you arrived. Sam Metcalf only recently gave up leeches. He also gave up retirement! We came from San Francisco thinking I'd have his patients ` now I've none! No, Dr Jennings! You have one! Look at this light! On the best day in the city we didn't get this! Maybe they'll give me a show. They do that in little towns. "Molly Jennings ` A Retrospective." I need to take pictures first! There's good news and bad. Should we go in reverse alphabetical order, start with the good? Mm-hm. I'm seeing my first patient today. A great old dame. Lives up the road. Terrific. What's the bad? She's my only patient. Today? Metcalf changed his mind. What? < He panicked. He decided that if he retires, he'll lose his zest for life and die within 48 hours or something. But we looked in 14 different towns! We bought a house! You rented an office! What'll we do? Kill him? I have my fax machine. I'll work part-time. A phone and fax is all I need. My old clients ` Honey, we'll be fine, just like you said. With one patient? Maybe I'll be lucky and she'll be ravaged by disease. Like having seven patients in one. * Fit as a fiddle! Not a damned thing wrong! Dr Jennings, I'm sorry. Think I was hoping you were ravaged by disease? What about my high blood pressure? You have above-normal systolic pressure ` less dangerous than a diastolic elevation. It doesn't need treatment. Do I need these? No. There's a difference between the two types of hypertension. I think ` Dr Metcalf isn't aware of the difference between his ass and a hole. Canaima folks are comfortable with him. Though when he first hit town they were standoffish. How did he overcome it? He threw a party, invited the town. If he were half as good at medicine as he is at public relations,... ..he could run for Surgeon General! Next month, when the afternoons are cooler, we'll throw you a party! Thanks. (GASPS) Is your one patient a health hazard? I couldn't find a wart on her. Great (!) So what do we do? Enjoy the fact that as we don't live in the city, we needn't call this pasta. Skinny spaghetti? No, Daddy's not done. Margaret, my tragically healthy patient, will throw a get-to-know Dr Jennings party. No, Daddy's not done! Some punch with the handsome new GP and Canaima will see the light, abandon Doc Metcalf... It's a nice gesture. > Yeah, I thought so. Can we play with Bunny? Yeah. I want you both in before dark, though. Bunny Beechwood. She popped up this morning. A neighbour. Seems nice. Bet they'll chase fireflies or something? Wanna blow up a bullfrog? I got great shots in the barn! If my camera picks up the web with the detail my eyes did... The web? Our spider made himself a hell of a home! Even you would appreciate it! Molly, how can I make this more clear? I have a ` Terrible fear of spiders. I've seen what happens. Which is why you should force yourself to look at the web. Look at the web?! See it for the extraordinary, beautiful thing it is. Therapy! We live in the country. Time to work out this irrational, paralysing terror. It's not irrational. I know. The incident. It's like yesterday. Nobody remembers anything from when they were two! It's my first memory. I can envision the crib, all around me, clear as day. I can feel waking up, drowsy, peaceful, secure ` and there it was. Probably a daddy-long-legs. It seemed huge. It came crawling through the bars of the crib, touched my bare leg... You were wearing a diaper. All my limbs froze, just froze! You were still half asleep. I was paralysed, Molly! Try to understand how it makes me feel. I was unable to stop it from crawling along my naked skin! I can still feel its hairy little legs, just... Then up to my face... It's just a feeling of utter helplessness, being explored by an alien thing! Can you blame me for being a spider... phobe? Arachnophobe. Whatever. You see it up there? Right behind the ladder. Impressive, huh? Therapy, right? Right. Yeah. Oh... Oh God! You see? You still have full use of all your limbs. > God, have you seen it up here? Molly, I think you spared the eight-legged Frank Lloyd Wright! Ross! (SCREAMING) Are you OK? Honey, it's OK! What the hell was that?! It's ` Ugh! Come on! < Oh God! Oh no! (LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY) Jesus! Hold me, hold me! No, no! No! Oh my God! FRANK SINATRA: # The summer wind came blowing in # From across the sea. # It lingered there and touched your hair # And walked with me. # All summer long... No, thanks. How do you find life here? After a few initial shocks, we're adjusting. I've been checking on you. When I'm ready to throw in the towel, Dr Jennings is your man. Henry Beechwood. Ross. Jennings. By all accounts, a fine physician. I'll remember that. This brings back memories! When I moved here, the whole town threw me a party. No, you threw yourself a party! < Now, that was a party! Now, that is a jerk! Canaima welcomes you. Thank you. I was interested in something. Could you give me a little help? Should I have this removed? What's Bunny showing them? > Green Beret hand-to-hand combat methods. Becky, thought about what you'll major in at college? Gym. It's in the genes. Bobby, he's a Bronco star quarterback. Hi. He could throw a football before he could walk! I coach the team. Nepotism, huh? Actually, we're Baptists. Nobody says to a mortician, "Irv, think I might be dead?" Must drive you nuts, dipping a Dorito as somebody shows you his growth! How do you handle it? I just mention that my wife was a successful stockbroker. What about artificial-intelligence stock? Why shouldn't I have another? You've had too much. No! I'm thirsty! > (That's the Manleys. Their son passed away.) Oh, that's awful! How? I'm not sure. He was a scientist. Photographer. He was on a scientific expedition down in Venezuela. Nobody'd tell me how! Or even let me see him to say goodbye! Let's go. Why wouldn't anybody let me see him? I don't understand! I had to recommend a closed coffin. His body looked all chewed up. Drained. Like some vampire had had a go at him. It was something terrible. Excuse us. Oh, yeah. That's the apple? Bet you made enough friends to break Sam's death grip! It was wonderful. We can't thank you enough. Nor I you, for freeing me from those pills! I feel I could compete in a triathlon! On the basis of your check-up, I agree! Bye-bye, Margaret. Bye, Molly. Irv! Blaire! Would you like a doggie bag? We're fine, thank you. Great party, Margaret! Come on, honey, the party's over! Happy hunting, Felix! See you in the morning! You'd have had too much punch, and been the life of the party. I missed you! < Aaargh! * Ross! Ross! < Molly? Ross! I could have killed you! The nails came straight ` Oh God! It's all rotten. My wine cellar is probably crawling with termites! I'm surprised we haven't fallen through the floor! Well, I'll call the exterminator. You're casual about the death of my dream! I tried to thank Margaret for yesterday, but her line's busy. She's probably gabbing. You want me to... Yeah, OK, I'll go over and check on her. CAT MIAOWS Here, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty, kitty! Margaret! < DOOR OPENS What do you think, Doc? > Heart attack. Bound to happen sooner or later. She had high blood pressure, even with pills. I took her off those. What right did you have? She came to me as a patient. You didn't see she was hypertensive? Her diastolic reading was normal, her systolic below 160. This is a very serious matter, young man! You may have killed this lovely woman! She was in fine shape. I want an autopsy. Never! She was my patient. And mine for 40 years! She wouldn't want to be butchered! Nobody would want it for her! Give it to me, Irv. I'm satisfied if you are, Doc. You come from a city, where people don't care! I don't expect you to understand. A little advice. If you're to fit in, learn to be sensitive to people's feelings! I'm interested in medicine, not public relations. Cardiac victims don't bite their tongues off! She had tetanic convulsions. This case isn't closed! You're damn right! I believe you may be guilty of medical malpractice! I intend to pursue it! I understand she was your patient. Your only patient. Come by the gym tomorrow at 3pm. I'll throw you some business. Thank you, Henry! Thanks, I appreciate that! Nice. Think he could say it a little louder, though (?) < GUITAR MUSIC (SIGHING) A little young, isn't it? The wine? No, Margaret. To die at 68. That's 10 years below the life expectancy of a Caucasian female, did you know that? You're a fine doctor. You knew what you were doing taking her off pills. Like when I chose this town... ..with the country doctor from hell, or this house, which is rotting from the ground up (!) I'll take care of that. Well, Margaret's still gonna be dead in the morning. I still want to know what killed her He was nailing something in the cellar, and the wood disintegrated. Termites, huh? That's what my husband thought. He's an expert in these matters (?) Well, no... Didn't think so. I'm glad you called me. No room for amateurs in this game. Oh! Oh! Ah, thank you. Haa! What is it? It's hard to say. Would anybody object if I tore the floor out? I would! False alarm, then. Lead on. How bad is it? Ssshh! I didn't find a thing. Then why is the wood rotting? I'll tell you why. Bad wood. So... what do we do? Tear out bad wood. Put in good wood. My husband thought this'd make a good wine cellar. Yeah? I collect beer cans myself. I got a rare '74 Miller Lite with a misprinted label. Only 100 in circulation. He might want a look. Oh, no hard shoes on the court. Sorry. I know what a blow losing Margaret was. People keep score. You're only as good as your last game. I appreciate your concern. I want you to enjoy Canaima. Clean water, fresh air. No police sirens wailing all night! Just crickets up the wazoo! Actually, I haven't heard any crickets lately. I haven't, either. OK, Broncos, the doc's here! Get ready to drop 'em! Doc wants to hear you cough! (COUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) (COUGHING) (FEEBLE COUGHING) Call yourself Broncos? You look like babies! Come on! Snap to it! On the ball. (GRUNTING AND SHOUTING) Hurry up, let's go! Come on! Another play. < Come on, you're moving in slow motion! Move it! < Move it! Hike! That's a banana out?! More like a banana split (!) Shitty pass! I heard that, McGrath! Garbage-mouth! Wash that mouth out! Miller! You know the patterns? Like the back of my hand! Get in here! Run the same thing again. Come on, we're waiting on you! Let's go! Come on, Miller! Wanna play? Come on, run! Let's go! Thanks. Run it! Set! Hut! Hike! (GROANING AND GRUNTING) Arrggh! Come on! Come on, up, up! Easy up! Let's up! That's back! Let's go! Miller, you all right? Coach! What's wrong with Miller? Back up, let him breathe! What's wrong? What is it? Come on, give him some air! OK, let's get his helmet off. Real easy. Support his head. Easy, easy! Real gentle. > Real gentle. Look out, look out. From what I hear it wasn't a very hard tackle. I only wish I knew. You see, Dr Jennings examined him last. Hey... Why so gloomy? Bunny Beechwood says everybody's calling you Dr Death. That's just silly, Shelley. They say you want to cut people up into pieces. Oh, Tom, look. It's called an autopsy. It's not a pleasant thing. But sometimes it's the only way to see what happened. But some doctors won't accept it. * Some doctors won't accept city methods don't sit well in a small town. Both Margaret and that poor boy did seem healthy. Odd, don't you think? If I autopsied everyone with a heart attack, I'd be run out of Canaima! Poor Sam. You still think life is a popularity contest! You're not jealous of our new doctor? What?! You made me lose my timing! You're yelling, Sam. Come on to bed. Come on! > I need a shower. I'd love to take walks around the neighbourhood with you. It's not the same, Evelyn. I need to know how far I've gone, and exactly how long it took me. Floor's cold, Sam. You're right. You're always right! Damn! What's wrong? Some damn thing bit me. My God, it's just a spider! Spider? It felt like a damn cougar! Damn! Damn! I'm having a seizure! Sam, what should I do? Get an ambulance. Call Jennings. My God! I'll be right there. What's going on? Metcalf. He's having a seizure. Thank God you didn't examine him! Why's the coroner here? I don't know. Milt, this isn't necessary! I'll be the judge, Lloyd. Wait out here. Guard the house, or something, hmm? Guard the house! Was he alive when you got here? He'd been dead maybe five minutes. Whatever it was, it was abrupt and acute. Massive coronary or cerebral haemorrhage? His wife says he was bitten by a spider before he seized. Oh, right (!) Sam told me about you. The hotshot who won't accept anyone else's diagnosis. I'll accept it if I agree with it. Good. Let me show you something. Down here. I believe that's a spider bite. I'll buy that. But I doubt that killed him. In 20 years I've seen one spider-bite fatality ` a black widow and a one-year-old child. No, my guess is Sam overexerted himself. He used the treadmill before he keeled over. Yeah, well, you may be right. I want an autopsy. Tissue samples, blood toxicology. Wait just one second! You'll get Evelyn's permission? Of course. Need a ride home? No, I'm all right, thanks. Take care! You're the town doctor! Say aaahh. Ahhh. OK, we'll treat this inflammation with antibiotics. So I don't get any ice cream? I'll buy you a double scoop! Who's next? I'll take that, thank you! Step right this way. Have a seat. Be right with you. Thank you. OK, hotshot, are you sitting down? Sam Metcalf died as a result of a minute amount of an unidentified toxic substance in his blood. "My office isn't ruling out poisoning, or even killer spiders." "It looks like a heart attack to me, but I'll support whatever you'd like to do." I gotta have those bodies exhumed, Milt. I gotta be sure. OK, whatever you think is necessary. Thanks. "Are you out of your mind?" Once more: I want Margaret Hollins' and Todd Miller's bodies exhumed. Hey! Hey! Hey... Pull citizens out of the ground that should enjoy eternal rest ` I'll just get a court order! Milt Briggs is on my side. This is a very bad business, Mr Yale Graduate, Big City Doctor! No shit. Hi, Dad! Hi, honey! What's going on? I promised Shelley she could stay with Bunny. We'll take good care of her, Dr Jennings. Wait. There may be some spiders that are very dangerous. < OK? I want you to be aware of this. If you see one, don't try to capture or kill it. Just run. You understand? Run! We'll do that, Dr Jennings. Don't worry about anything. (GIGGLING) Yo, Dr Death! Are you all right? No. All clear. (READING): "The spider was asleep. It had been a very very busy day." OK, your turn, Bunny. The itsy-bitsy spider... (SQUEALING) ..crawled up the water spout. Down came the rain and washed the spider out. < Out came the sun and dried up all the rain. < And the itsy-bitsy spider crawled up the spout again. < It's my turn now. Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet, eating her curds and whey. Along came a spider that sat down beside her, and frightened Miss Muffet ` Settle down, or Shelley can't stay over! We can't sleep! We keep scaring each other. < Why don't you sleep in my room for a while? Nah, we don't need this. Oh God! CRICKET CHIRPS You sonofabitch! CHIRPING Where are the other crickets? Where are all your buddies? < PHONE RINGS Atherton. Yes, Dr Atherton? I'm Ross Jennings. I'm a general practitioner, and I've a problem that may be spider-related You're the foremost authority on the West Coast, or any coast! Every so often in some little town there is a health scare, an unexplained outbreak. Spiders make convenient culprits. Did you know, on every suburban acre there are 50,000 to 60,000 spiders,... ..and each spider eats about 100 insects a year? That means 5 million insects are consumed per acre annually. Perhaps man might find the planet uninhabitable without spiders. "I've nothing against spiders, but we've had three deaths, and I fear there'll be more." "Lend me your expertise for just an afternoon." It's a town called Canaima. Canaima? "Yeah. You know it?" It's familiar. Let me see what I can do. Where are you, exactly? Collins. Collins! Oh. Sorry. Are you equally busy tomorrow (?) * Dr Atherton? No, I'm Chris Collins, his assistant. I'm Chris. Atherton's busy. He recently found a new species of spider in South America. Er, to us it's a big deal. I hope you can help. We'll be examining bodies. Sounds like a blast (!) We're looking for bites. Like this. That's a spider, isn't it? Er, I'm not sure. I think so. But even at several times the potency of Latrodectus ` Latro ` black widow, right? Right. It would take more than a bite to kill, so this guy's death... ..and the spider bite are coincidental. Hey, guys, how's it going? Poor Margaret! She was a good wife, good teacher, good neighbour... Excellent cook. Anything you want, just shout. I want some fresh air. Chris! Chris! Come here! Still think it's a coincidence? That's a spider bite. The tissue around it is macerated. A mark behind the left ear. PHONE RINGS Atherton. "Chris Collins." "We've a big problem in Canaima." "There are three dead. The cause is a spider deadlier than any I've seen "They want to quarantine the town!" Are you sure? This is way out of my league. It's a decision you must make. You better come up. I can be there tomorrow afternoon. But try and find me a specimen. (PANTING) Did you bring the keys? Great. Perk up, Lloyd! If we find the spider that did this, you can arrest him! Milt, why don't you cover the living room? Chris, why don't you check out back? And, Lloyd... take the kitchen. I'll just... I'll oversee... I'll just coordinate the... I'll just stay right here. What is that crap? > Leftovers. Mostly cricket parts. Wings, legs. We haven't heard any crickets here for weeks. Arrggh! Ross! Here! Ross! Sheriff, don't move! It's dead! Shit! What could have killed it? The shock of seeing Lloyd? KNOCK ON DOOR > There are other people in this house! > Dad, go away! Dad, go away! < Use the one down here, Henry! (SCREAMING) Never a moment's peace! (SCREAMING) What happened? Are you all right? Why don't we take the spider and get out? Oh, no, you don't get off that easy! The dead spider's desiccated. No use You mean macerated. Desiccated. Dried up, drained of blood. Macerated is the... ..chewing they do. Chewing, right. They're like little vampires. This trip to find the spider species, where'd he go? South America. Venezuela. Why? Is that one of 'em? I'd say it's a damn fine suspect. < Ross, you're gonna have to take a step towards it. Chris, I'm scared to death! We all are, but our brains secrete a neurotransmitter to help us. I don't have that particular neurotransmitter. Yes, you do. Wow. DOG BARKS You need an asbestos glove, the doomsday weapon in Delbert's war on creepy-crawlies. I coat it with Denon EC. It's biodegradable, organic. You ought to see the little beasties twitch when they get a whiff! Er, Delbert... There's a rumour going that a spider killed Sam, maybe Margaret, even my Bronco. Doubtful, Henry. In Florida, one of my colleagues bumped into a nest of black widows. Over a dozen bites, and lived. Course, he probably lost control of his bodily functions. Nothing here. But I'll hunt the alleged arachnid and spritz him to kingdom come. CRUNCH DOG BARKING > Yeah, that's right! I'm bad! KNOCK ON DOOR > Dr Atherton, Ross Jennings. Come in. Did you find another specimen? Yes. I also called on the town mortician. Months ago, there was a corpse. The body was desiccated, drained of blood. Irv agreed, if the spider was big and spent long enough on the body... I know why you've heard of Canaima. This was Jerry Manley's hometown. Manley the photographer? I think one of your Venezuelan spiders hitched a ride here in Manley's coffin. < The fangs, injectors, are disproportionately large. Three poison sacs. Now, let's test the venom. The toxin and amount injected determine the effect of the bite. And the place where the subject is bitten. It can lead to paralysis or death. SQUEAKING I'd guess this toxin is fatal at a fraction of that dose. I'd agree. No sex organs. That would make them drones ` or soldiers! That's typical in organised insects ` bees, ants. I never saw it in spiders! I have. Venezuela, right? Right. This is a descendant. Somehow, a male mated with a house spider to make a deadly strain. But with no sex organs, it can't reproduce. True. And the accelerated growth rate suggests a short life cycle. We already saw a dead one. That could be the good news! Let's discuss the bad! The species I found in South America live at the top of the food chain. They spread out from a nest in a weblike pattern, and dominate the area. In their habitat, they're contained by geography ` not true here. So the original male's the granddaddy of them all,... ..and he's sending troops to battle. < Right. Er... Excuse me! Professor? This is our town exterminator. McClintock. Nice to meet a colleague He came across one of the offenders a few hours ago. Have you brought it with you? It's probably still on the bottom of my shoe. You really can't tell what it is any more. In this first generation, the original male produced a queen. They built a nest for the queen to guard. She'll create her own reproductive offspring, and then this town is dead. And the next town, the next town, and the next. Irv owns the mortuary where it originated. If we kill the male... And nest. I'll call the Department of Agriculture. OK. Phone's in the office. See you at the mortuary. Sheriff, give me a ride. I am not a chauffeur! Damn! It's busy! Irv takes the phone off the hook for Wheel of Fortune. Let's go! (HUMMING) < TV PLAYS Blaire, real butter or fake butter? Fake! "$1,000. T. There are two Ts. That's quite a start!" He needs to buy a vowel. Buy a vowel! * TYRES SCREECH Delbert!! What'll this nest look like? Er, well, you'd know it if you found it. The area would be dark, warm, moist. A musty smell, and you'd see an egg sac. Like your basic egg sac. Uh, white, cocooned, pulsating, about the size of a softball. And no other spiders around. What do you mean? Spiders are cannibals ` she wouldn't want any others near her offspring. Tell them ` even if it means interrupting a dinner party! Sheriff! Where is this? The Daniels place. Jennings bought it. Take me there! TV PLAYS Hey, Irv! Irv! Ross... Canaima welcomes you. Irv, we have an emergency! We ` Aarrghh! I'll get us into the mortuary. < Ross! We've found it! Go to the mortuary and get my assistant and the exterminator. Right, I'll do that. Meanwhile, stay here, sir ` I won't be responsible for you! Fine! The killings are so arbitrary, maybe there's more than one nest. No, there's just one. What was it Atherton said? They radiate from a central nest. Got a map? Come on, get a map, please! Here. Here. The Kendalls. The Kendalls' house. Mark that down on there. And the old guy ` the doctor. Metcalf. Kid died on the football field behind the school. This is fun! I found one at Beechwoods'. The old lady ` Margaret. Is that all of them? > In the centre, that's the mortuary? No, that's a house. Who the hell lives there? I do. The whole time the nest was in my own barn! I doubt it. A spider would find your barn a tad breezy. In that respect, spiders are like you and me. I frankly doubt the nest is there. I frankly know it is. I was in the barn. I saw a web. There's a web. A web indicates an arachnoid presence. They got a saying in Benelux countries... > Just drive, Delbert. Just get us there, please! My, you've been busy! Incredible! Supper's ready! Come and get it! (SCREAMING) I gotta get my family out. Destroy what's in the barn! Check. Better uncork my private stock. There may be spiders in the house! Yeah, right, let's go. Give me a minute to look around here, then we go in. Hello! (WHISTLING) Hello! Trick or treat! > Hey! Gotcha! Got ya! Now, let's see what we got up here. (SCREAMING) Oh my God! Honey! We're in here, Ross. Hi, Dad. I expected you for dinner. I got worried. Yes, sorry, I didn't get a chance to call. (GASPING) OK, every ` Everybody just get up, very slowly... ..and walk towards the door. OK, quick and quiet! We're gonna need another way out of here. Upstairs, into the bathroom. We can climb onto the roof. Quick! Let's go! Let's go! > Watch yourself, Ross! > Come on, Shelley! That's right! Argh! Argh! Ross! They're swarming! I've never seen them so aggressive! They're chasing us. Hi, you guys. I'm Chris. Spiders! Put that under the door! > Oh God! Mom, where are we going? I'll go first. Come on, let's go! Come on, Shelley! One at a time! Be careful out there! Down the trellis, honey! Ross! Ross! Come on, Ross, get out of there! < Wait for me! Tommy! Ross, get out of there! Where's Ross? Right behind me! Oh no! Shit! BOTH: Spiders! Spiders! Shelley, Tommy, come here! Get them away from the house! Rock and roll! All right, party time! Yeah! Yeah! Take that! Come on! HISSING Arrghh! Oh! What is it? Musty ` musty smell, moist, dark... No spiders. There's no spiders. It's dark, musty. It's the nest. Nest. Nest. The queen. Oh shit! I'm in the goddamn nest! Help! Help! Chris! I found the nest! And there's the queen! Chris! Shit! Arrggh! Come on! (SCREAMING) Therapy?! < That's your basic egg sac. Be right back! SPIDER HISSES * (GROANS) Where is it? That was the goddamn general! Help! Help! HISSING HISSING HISSING Not the Chateau. HISSING (GRUNTING) (LAUGHING) Goddamn it, where are you?! Damn it! SCRAMBLING SOUNDS (LAUGHING) The itsy-bitsy spider... ..climbed up the water spout. Down came the rain... ..and washed the spider out. Come on, come on, come on, come on! (SCREAMING) SQUEALING Shit! SQUEALING SQUEALING Nice shot! Thank God! Don't mention it! Spider! My God! Ross! Ross! Ross, it's OK. Everything's OK. Jesus! God, spiders! It's OK! Most are dead. The ones Delbert didn't get are dying. Where are the kids? The kids are fine. Everybody's OK. TONY BENNETT: # I left my heart... # ..in San Francisco... # High on a hill... Know what I'll miss about the country? What? > I don't know. That's why I'm asking. At least we got out with our lives. Yes. And the Margaux. To office politics, Christmas bonuses, caffeine, adrenalin... Things we know, events we can control... RUMBLING That was a minor tremor. It wouldn't even show on that scale. Richter scale. Just a cable car going by. Cable car, yeah. We must check the kids. The kids! ITFC Subtitles. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019