Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2019 # Your altitude # Is only viewed # As an indication of your attitude # For you're only as small # As your dreams # You may be small, not big and tall # But a giant's what you 'twill be called # For you're only as small as your dreams # I know that I... # -(sparrows grunt, music stops) -PETER: Sorry! NARRATRIX: Yeah, sorry about that. That's not the story we're telling. -PETER: Yeah. -No. We're here for Peter Rabbit. -(pants) -The hero of our tale. A young rabbit in a blue coat and no pants. -(Mr Tod growls) -(squirrels whimper) Hey. Pick on someone your own size. -MR TOD: My pleasure. -PETER: Whoo, I didn't mean me. -(yowls) -(laughs) (pants) Going into his garden again, I see. There are safer ways to get a meal, you know! -Yeah, but they're not as fun. -(reel whirrs) - (yells) -Oi! -Ah! What did I tell you about sneakin' into McGregor's? Make sure to get you some cauliflower? That's a good boy. Now, off you get. All right, talk to me, Benjamin. He's mowed half the lawn, which maybe gives us just enough time. - Look at him. Pure evil. -(Mr McGregor spits) Even cuts grass angry. Hey, here's a crazy thought ` what if we don't go in, because last time, you almost got caught. You're so adorable. I could just eat you up. That's exactly what he wants to do to you. (sighs) Higher. Higher. LISPS: Why are you always on top? Because I'm the oldest. We're triplets! I'm still the oldest. By 16 seconds. Ugh, when's the last time you brushed your tail? -(yells) -COTTONTAIL: Whoa. -(all grunt) -All right, rest time's over. Come on. -COTTONTAIL: Yeah. -MOPSY: Race you. FLOPSY: Not if I race you first. -(grunts) -MOPSY: No fair. (laughing, whooping) Take it all in because we're about to take it all in. BREATHLESSLY: Sorry. I don't know why I'm so out of shape. I only eat salad. It's the dressing ` get it on the side. Or just have a drizzle of lemon. It'll change your life, trust me. Right. You all know the drill. I'm not gonna pretend that what we're about to do isn't reckless, foolhardy, even dangerous. But we will succeed. Because each of us plays a vital role specifically tailored to our individual talents. Lookout. Lookout. Lookout. Lookout. -Hero. -BENJAMIN: Mm. Now let's do this. Right behind ya. -Not a chance. -Why? Are you afraid I'm gonna get my foot caught in a trap and I'll have to gnaw it off, and then you'll call me "Stumpy" for the rest of my life, and I'll have a horrifying scar, but all the real scars will be on the inside? -Sorry you had to hear that. -It's OK. We're family. This is a safe space. All right, bring it in. We all ready? -Yep. -Absolutely. -Always. -I guess. Love you guys. Now, let's do this. It's gonna be a fun one. ("We No Speak Americano" by Yolanda Be Cool & DCUP plays) (grunts) (grunts) (grumbles indistinctly) Lettuce, radishes, radicchio. (laughs) I'll tell you what's "radicchio" ` how easy it is to steal this man's vegetables. Hah. Because "radicchio" sounds like "ridiculous". Don't explain the joke. -Flopsy! -Yeah! -Mopsy! -(gasps) Cottontail! -(yells) -Oh. MUFFLED: I'm good. Tomayto, tomahto. Potayto, potahto. No one actually says "potahto," have you noticed that? Stop messing around. I can mess around all I want. He can't hear us over the lawn mo... -(lawn mower sputters, stops) -...wer. Aargh! (metallic snapping) Rabbits. (all gasp) (squeaks) (pants) (low growl) -No, no, stop. -(gasps) (gasps) (pants) Ah! (growls) (yells) -Leave. -Scram. -Get out of there. Hmm. Peter, no. -I'm gonna put this in there. -Don't do that. -You think this is a bad idea? -Yes, it's a bad idea. I'm getting mixed signals. Yes or no? It's a definite no. I can't see your mouth through the gate. No. No. No. No. -I think you said yes. -No. -I'm going with "yes". -No, no, Peter. -What? -Oh God. Oh no. BENJAMIN: No. Peter. No. -(Mr McGregor grunts) -(gasps) (screams) (imitates screaming) (laughter) -(Peter laughs) -(growls) -FLOPSY: Get out of there. -Ooh. Rabbit, I'm gonna put you in a pie. Leave the jacket. Like I did your dad. (grunts) Morning, Mr McGregor. Oh, it's you. Beautiful day, isn't it? Give me that rabbit. You got a little something in your... Aye. QUIETLY: You're OK. -(Mr McGregor grunts) -(distant thunder rumbles) Are you OK? -Mm. -Did he just wink? I didn't even know we could do that. You look very well. That vein that's usually bulging out of your head's really calmed down. Have you been meditating? This is my garden. Let me pass that along. This is his garden. There we are. I think we're all on the same page. So these rabbits will now surrender their natural instinct to feed themselves. Next time will be their last. I'll be sure to pass that along too. (thunder rumbles) Ooh. Come on, sweeties. -Come on. -NARRATRIX: This is Bea. She's next-door neighbour to Mr McGregor and the rabbits. Guess which one she likes better? BEA: Inside. Come on. I'll get you something to drink. You must stop going in there. You almost got caught this time. Come here, little one. Dry you off. -(groans with pleasure) -NARRATRIX: She's an artist. She moved out to the country to work on her paintings. Oh, don't feel bad if you don't understand them, like them, even know which way to look at them. They are terrible and she knows it. So for fun, she's been painting portraits of the locals. Beautiful. But a constant reminder of what Peter and his family had gone through. I promise I'll always be here for you. NARRATRIX: And she has, ever since their mother died. Oh. The rain stopped. Sorry about Dad's jacket. I'm sorry you lost Dad's jacket. (scoffs) I just said that. Yeah, but coming from the oldest, it just kind of means more. (gasps) Just a jacket. Dad and Mum are still in here. And here. And here. And here. And here. But less so with you, since you're just a cousin, you know. You're a nephew, and by marriage. I'm not taking anything away, I'm just... You know, I want to be accurate. OK, just promise me you'll stay out of the garden. Got it back, Dad. Got you, rabbit. I knew you'd come. (chuckles) The lady's not here to protect you now. I've got a hankering for pie tonight. -Rabbit pie. -(grunts) (coughs) (choking gasp) Huh? What? (grunts) What? Whoa. Is he...? (squishing) That's pretty conclusive. Very conclusive. That means that... that I... that I... That I did it. I did it. -Huh? -What? -I did it. Got rid of him. Who's hungry? -Bite into those guys. -(other gasp) You went into his garden? No. I went into our garden. Without lookouts? That's the sort of thing that will get someone killed. And it did. McGregor's gone? He's in a better place now. -Really? -Yeah. That ice cream truck with the flashing lights. NARRATRIX: In actuality, Peter couldn't even claim that he gave the old man's heart a fright. Credit for that goes to 78 years of terrible lifestyle choices. (noisy munching) (grunting, slurping) -(laughter) -Wow. -Wow. -No way. -(Benjamin grunts) All right, this is our land now, so let's not go crazy straightaway. It's our job to nurture it, to sustain it, prepare for the future. With privilege, comes responsibility... (laughs) I'm sorry. I almost got through that with a straight face. Knock yourself out. -(cheering) # I was lying on the grass # On Sunday morning of last week # Indulging in my self defeat (laughs) # I know it's up for me # If you steal my sunshine # Making sure I'm not in too deep # If you steal my sunshine # Keeping versed and on my feet # If you steal my sunshine... Huh? Huh, huh, wha...? Wait for me! I wasn't designed for running! (whooping, laughter) # If you steal my sunshine # Let's all bow down to Peter # Cos he gave us sunshine # Made the garden one big bird feeder # Cos he gave us sunshine # Now our life is so much sweeter # Thanks to Mr.... # -(grunting) -Oh, sorry about that. Help yourself to anything. Try the tomatoes. Whoa, look at you, big fella. (laughs) Wait, didn't you...? Did you try to eat me? Show me your teeth. Do like a, go like... (growls) -(growls) -It was you. I knew it. How are you? So good to see you. Phew. Hey, little rabbit. Got your land back, I see. All hail the prodigal son. -Ah, it's no big deal. -No, no, a very big deal. You vanquished McGregor. Well, if vanquished means I said to him, "I've had enough of your tyranny." And he said, "I will put you in a pie." And I said, "No, sir. I will put you in a pie, sir." It doesn't, but thank you for the party. (chuckles) Was Pigling eating celery? It's a shame when you don't know who you are or where you belong, you know? -Mm-hm. -TOMMY BROCK: Want some? Ah, I'll just take one. -(snorts noisily) -Ooh, ooh, oh. Ooh, ooh, oh. Oh, oh, oh. -Aw. -Thanks, Tommy. You're one of the good ones. Hey, this garden comes with a free house! ("Roll Up" by Fitz and the Tantrums plays) # Can I get a witness in the darkness? # Cos there ain't no love at all to be found # Sugar, just step into your sneakers # And step behind the speakers # Your heart will keep me beating # I said, roll up, roll up, roll up # Yeah, come get your love # I don't care, I don't care # Why you're dancing tonight # Just as long as you're there in the break of the light # So roll up... # Yeah, that's right! Mr McGregor will torment us no more! Whoa. Ah! -No more! -No more! * NARRATRIX: Meet Thomas McGregor. Or, as he is known in the store where he works, Mr McGregor. You're seeing him at his happiest ` preparing his troops for battle. People who say you can't control everything haven't met this Mr McGregor. 72.043 degrees. The angle at which Apollo 13 was launched. I know, Carlos, you think I'm crazy. But the little girl who wants to be an astronaut is going to know, and you've just blown up her dreams. This is a nightmare. You've got to toss and fluff, toss and fluff. It's the small things. You mustn't be afraid to really get in there, gang. Our toilets should be clean as a drinking fountain. Mr McGregor. The general manager has asked to see you. This is it ` my promotion. They said it could be this week. How do I look? Like a man about to drink toilet water from a straw? Perfect. I have some bad news, Thomas. -No. -Your great-uncle passed away. I just received word. I'm very sorry. (sighs heavily, chuckles softly) I didn't even know I had a great-uncle. What about the promotion? -Excuse me? -The associate general manager. The post I've been working towards for the last 10 years. You're in shock, I understand. In times of grief... No, there's no grief. I-I just want to know. Did I get the promotion or not? -No. It went to Bannerman. -Bannerman? But he is an imbecile. I mean, he's not even that. To be rightfully called an imbecile would be aspirational for Nigel Bannerman. But he also happens to be the managing director's nephew. So you're promoting a flagrantly unqualified half-wit to a position of immense importance -based purely on nepotism. -This is Great Britain. It's practically written in our charter. You think I want our best man passed over? Well, then, don't pass me over. This is not the time to be thinking about work, Thomas. Take some time. Take as much time as you like. No, I don't want time! I'm sorry. I don't want... I'm sorry. I want the promotion, is the thing, and I deserve the promotion. Give me the promotion, June, I won't tell anyone. Please. Give me the promotion. Sorry. -I'm sorry, sir. -It's all right. -Sorry, sir. -Maybe next time. What up, McG...! -Ah... -(laughs) -Bah, bah. -Bannerman. -(sighs heavily) -Congratulations. I didn't even want it. I was in Ibiza last night. (laughs) Heavy lies the crown, yeah? Pow. -(smacks Thomas) Bah. Ah! -Oh. I'm taking a break. I'll be in my big office. (grunts angrily) # Ooh, woho, I'm a rebel just for kicks, now # I been feeling it since 1966, now # Might be over now, but I feel it still... # Come here! I gave my life to you! I gave you everything! Why did you treat me...? (kisses) I'm sorry. (screams angrily) This might actually be a blessing in disguise. Get some perspective. Get a hobby. Get some dirt underneath your fingernails. You sound like every employer, teacher, family member, friend and vague acquaintance I've ever had. I'm going to take your name tag now, Thomas. No, not... Welcome to Harrods. I hope you enjoy drinking dirty toilet water. Might I suggest some time in the country? It's calming. Serene! -(Tommy Brock whoops) -Yeah! 180! ALL CHANT: Joust! Joust! Joust! Joust! -Yeah! -Yay! Streaker! (laughs) Oh, yeah, now it's a party. -Hors d'oeuvres? -I'll just take one. -Ooh. -(snorts loudly) -(grunts) -(snorts) -No, it's hitch kick, then boogaloo. When am I going to get to choreograph? When you're the oldest. Aw, I can't wait that long. Hey, let's go get Mum and Dad. Where do you want it, Peter? Oh, anywhere's fine. I mean, maybe a... maybe a little higher? -(grunts) -A lit... No, too much. -A little lower. -(grunts) Mm. To the left. No, to the right. -More. Too far. -(grunting) Lower. To the right. Up. Lower. Down. Right. Right. Lower. Lower. Lower. Up. -(grunting) -Middle. Left. Right. Lower. Up. Your right. My left. Your down. My up. -Left. Right. -(groans, sighs) -Perfect. He's gone now, guys. I just wish you were here to enjoy it. I'm never letting anyone take it from us again. (classical music plays) (knock at door) (classical music continues playing) (music stops) Thomas McGregor? Sign here, please. Oh, from Windermere? Fancy place, that. I don't know anyone from Windermere. Well, it's from Unclaimed Property. Usually means you've inherited something. NARRATRIX: Inherited something, he did. From that great-uncle he knew nothing about. Turns out intimacy issues run in the family. Windermere? -That's in the country. -Well, fancy country. The houses there go for a king's ransom. -Ransom enough to buy my own toy shop? -I'd imagine so. -And fill it with the finest merchandise? -Should do, yeah. Ransom enough to have tempered glass shelving and seasonal window decorations? That I might have to do some research on, sir. -Can I get back to you mail-time tomorrow? -Hm. Round trip to Windermere, please. -Here you go. -Thank you. # I don't give a damn what the people say # I'm gonna do it my way, gonna do it my way # Boom, boom, boom, boom, and bang, bang, bang # I'm gonna let it all out, do my thing # Boom, boom, boom, and a bang, bang, bang... # Good evening. Are you aware of this location? -The McGregor manor? -Yes. -Is that where you're staying? -It's just temporary. I am merely appraising the manor's condition before putting it on the market to sell. -But you do want me to take you there? -Yes. -Well, hop in. -Thank you. I think you're really going to love living there. THOMAS: Please don't talk to me on the drive. -(snores) -Give it to me. -Here. (laughter, cheering) I can fly! -(thud!) -(grunts, groans) I think I cracked a rib. How many ribs do we have? -13. -No way. Sweet. Oh, no, but don't... I can fl... Oh! (groans) THOMAS: It's nothing against the country. I just find it disgusting. CABDRIVER: Yes, you've made that quite clear on the journey, sir. I would just like the record to reflect that. CABDRIVER: Well, I shall create a record and make sure that it reflects it. (gasps) A human. Oh, dear. Everybody out! Out! Get out! Humans are coming! Human! -Human! -You know, it's like, who am I? Who are you? Yeah? You know, like, we're all connected, but with what rope? -A human! Humans are coming! -Mm, mm-mm. -Huh? -What should we do? -What? Everybody hide! (excited chattering) (grunts) Oi! Your quills are stabbing me. MRS TIGGY-WINKLE: I wasn't designed for hiding. (clattering) (bird calls in distance) (crickets chirping) Who lives like this? Hit the lights! Oh no. Tommy! -Tommy, hide! -Oh, oh. Oh. -(door slams shut) -(cries out) -(clattering) -Oh! No, just because you can't see him, doesn't mean he can't see you. Understand? -Mm-hm-hm. -Now hide! What? No, Tommy. Now you're just posing as a candelabra. Now you're just a tablecloth. Now you're just a... What are you? MUFFLED: I'm a lazy Susan. PETER: What?! Tommy! Tommy! -(grunts) -(thud!) (grunts) (scoffs) (Squirrel Nutkin sniffs) (sighs) (both scream) Get... get out! Get... Get out. Every... single... one of you. Out, you vermin! Stay out of my house! -He had the key. -He must be a McGregor. -(car horn beeps) -Oh. -(beeping continues) -Headlights. Felix, blink. Blink, blink, blink, blink. -Come on, big guy. Blink, blink, blink. -Headlights. -Come on, deer. -(rabbits grunts) * (birds chirp) Cock-a-doodle-doo! The sun came up again?! I can't believe it! I thought when I closed my eyes last night, that that was it! But we have another day of this! Wha-hoo! Cock-a-doodle-doo! Cock-a-doodle-doo! (moans softly) It wasn't a nightmare. (groans) It's a nightmare. ("Anvil Chorus from Il Trovatore" plays) (music continues in distance) (gasps) (yowls) (yawns) What is that music? I don't know. But it sounds very dramatic and life-changing. (squeaks) BEA: Oh. Hello, sweeties. You checking on the new neighbour? Don't worry. He can't be any worse than the old crab bucket, rest his soul. Never know, maybe he'll be a nice, normal man. He looks nice. -Looks very normal. -(sings nonsensically) That's not very normal, is it? That's normal. Hmm. Anyway, it's gonna be exciting. We'll have somebody new around here. They're not all bad, I promise. I'll explain it to him. We all share our land around here. I'm gonna give him the benefit of the doubt. Hmm. -FLOPSY: Oh, no. -(Mopsy groans) -It's not over. We can always go in the back... Or through the... Or use the... Or behind the... I didn't even know that was a way in. I see the gates are back up, huh? (snorts) I guess you weren't the prodigal son after all. That'll do, pig. That'll do. It was a fun night, though. I haven't eaten that much in a long time. The diet starts now. (snorts) Now. (snorts) Now. -COTTONTAIL: Hey, look. -(snorts) Now. -Hello. Oh, sorry. -Oh. I didn't mean to startle you. I'm Bea. I just live over here. Oh. Hello. I'm`I'm, uh, Thomas. I live way over there in London. (laughs) That way. Yes. I'm just here temporarily. I'm fixing up this place to sell, using the proceeds to open my own toy store, preferably near Harrods so they can witness their own downfall. -(laughs) Oh my. That's a lot of information right there. -Sorry. Good for you for not being afraid to open up. -What are they saying? -Shh, I can read lips. I'm just a little out of my element. Oh, I think you'll find the elements here are pretty fabulous. -"I think you'll find the elephants around here are really flatulent." -What? In my opinion, it's just the most beautiful place on Earth. Well, it just got a lot more beautiful. (laughs) Oh, gee. You didn't just say that. Clean, sturdy, functional. -Oh, the gate. -Yes. I-I thought you were saying I was beautiful. Oh, did you...? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. No, I wouldn't say that. I wouldn't say that. -I would say that. I'm not... -No, hey, I'm not fishing. -It's fine. -You are beautiful. And you're different to the gate. (laughs) I can't read lips, but I know her, and she's telling him to take down those gates and let us into the garden. Well, enjoy your brief stay. Just, uh, please, don't be like the nasty old man who used to live here. He was a real twit. He was my uncle. You didn't let me finish. He was a real... tw... Sorry, I can't... No. There's no saving that one. He was a real twit. No offence. -None taken. I never knew him. -You seem much more reasonable. Do I? Although, I must say, these gates are incredibly sturdy. Are you expecting an alien invasion? I just need to keep the wildlife out where they belong. Well, they actually belong everywhere. It was kind of their place first. We're the latecomers. How long does it take to say, "Leave the gate open, and let in the rabbits"? HIGH-PITCHED: Leave the gate open, and let in the rabbits. DEEP VOICE: Ah, I certainly will, madam. And might I say, those rabbits are incredibly cute. HIGH-PITCHED: Especially the one with the blue coat. He's my favourite. And oh, here's a present. NORMAL VOICE: Wait. Why is she bringing him a present? Oh. Oh, how nice of you. -Uh... -It's for bird-watching. Thank you. There's one. It has wings. Yes, that's a pretty defining feature of the bird, I think you'll find. You spotted your first bird. Make sure to mark it down later. -Mark it down? -Mm. So there's a way of organising and documenting the chaos of the sky? Yes. Well, it was nice to meet you, Thomas. Yes, you too. And let's keep this gate open, shall we, so the wildlife can run free? -THOMAS: Absolutely. -She did it. We're in. Come on. (chirping) THOMAS: Maybe it's not so bad here after all. (groans with disgust) ("Anvil Chorus from Il Trovatore" plays) -No. -(groans) -I don't care. -I'm going in. -Right behind you. No. Not a chance. You remember what happened to Dad, right? But you go in all the time. That's my character flaw. You get your own character flaw. -Come on, Benjamin. -Why does he get to go? Yeah, why do I have to go in? Because that's his character flaw. He goes along with everything I say, no matter how stupid and reckless it is. No, I don't! You're not the boss of me! -Benjamin. -Coming! I can't let him go in by himself. He's being stupid and reckless. FLOPSY: I hope they're going to be OK. They'll be fine, and if not, I guess I'll just be the new head of the family. (gasps) Peter, please be OK! (pants) BENJAMIN: I'm still so out of shape. PETER: How's it working with the putting the dressing on the side? Good. But I don't understand why it's healthier to drink it all at once. THOMAS: Disgusting. -Come on. -(Benjamin pants) (whimpers) Wh... whoa. (strained grunt) -(yells) -(grunts) (yells) PETER: What'd I tell ya? Easy peasy lemon squeezy. -(yelps) -Rats. Run! (yells) (both gasp) (yells) -Hello. -(screams) This guy is so much faster than the old one. (grunts) -(straining) -Uh-oh. I think we have a problem. -MOPSY: What is it? -Everything's upside down. THOMAS: Where are you? WHISPERS: We never should have come in the garden. No guts, no glory. Are you ever scared of anything? Yeah. Dying alone. -That's why I brought you here. -(groans) Do you know what we do with rats in the city? We find them, and we exterminate them. (gasps) Hah. (grunts) Benjamin. (whimpers) Huh! Hah! Huh. Hah! (grunts) -Follow me. -I can't see anything. -Follow my voice. -I can't hear anything! -Follow your heart? -What? -(grunts) -That way, that way, that way. (grunts) (pants) Play dead. (gate opens, closes) This is what happens when you make a McGregor look foolish playing carnival games in the shed. (grunts) (all gasp) You see this, everyone?! This is what happens! Why am I talking to wildlife?! I am losing my mind. I do... They're not going to respond. (engine starts) Come on, come on! -Jump! -(yells) (cries out) (all yell) (gasping, panting) (grunts) OK, OK. Flopsy, take the bag, go to the window and you put it over his head. OK. Oh. Mopsy, you take the bag, go over to the window, put it over his head. Got it. Oh. Cottontail, take the bag... (groans) -Just give him a wet willy. -Got it. (giggling) (grunts) (yells) (screams) (muffled screams) (muffled screams continue) (gasps) (continues gasping) (sighs) (giggling) (gasps) No. Ah... No! Oh. -(Benjamin grunts) -You OK, big guy? -Close one, huh? -I could've been killed. -And not just me. What if he got the girls? -(gasps) This isn't a joke, Peter. I know. I'm sorry. You're all right though, right? I got your jacket back. It's not as symbolic as mine. You know, not being your dad's and all. And it's brown, too, which is a mistake because you're brown. I mean, brown on brown, who wears that? It's a bit matchy-matchy. Yeah, it's actually a bit confusing. Half the time we think you're naked. I just look for the buttons. But then one time, it was your nipples. Huh? (shocked gasp) Anyway, you got it back, and you're OK. No thanks to him. Look at him. -Skinny bag of wet. -(girls giggle) PETER: Now, turn around and drive us home, Eugene. Here's good. New to the area. Probably take the next turn. Just using more fuel` not a surprise that he's not environmentally friendly. Hey, we don't inherit the Earth; we borrow it from our children. I read that on a plastic cup. If you do a U-turn... It's actually a safe place for a U-turn here. I think that's the... -Where...? -Where is he taking us? BENJAMIN: He's taking us into town. -So this is London. -Wow. Big Ben! -Wow. -It's gigantic. I hope you appreciate this, Flopsy. I never got to travel when I was your age. What? You were my age, like, three streets ago. -It goes so fast. -(scoffs) -(grunting) -(thudding) -Huh? -Whoa. This must be Harrods. MOPSY: Wow. Classy. -What can I do for you? -I have a vermin problem. Rabbits, I'm guessing. -How do you know that? -You're the new McGregor. Bea's neighbour. -How do you know that? -She mentioned you. -She did? What did she say? Oh, that you want to sell your house in a hurry and use the profits to open your own toy store, preferably near Harrods, so they can witness BOTH: ...their own downfall. That's incredibly specifically accurate and a little disappointing. Who do you think these guys are? They're wearing aprons, so that could mean only one thing. -They're hedgehogs. -They're hedgehogs. -ALL: Hmm. Just make sure she doesn't find out you're launching them rabbits. She loves 'em. Like family. Read their lips, Mopsy. If I was a learned fellow, I'd say she anthropomorphises 'em in lieu of any genuine human interaction. But he's not a learned fellow. Which is why I think she's just got a thing for those rabbits. "Which is why I think she's just got a thing for most man butts." FLOPSY: Huh? -What would you suggest? -An electric fence will keep 'em out. To launch 'em... you'll need some firepower. (imitates explosion) -Huh? -THOMAS: Firepower seems like... -I don't want to... -Get down. -Whoa! That's them. I knew it. Where are you? I know you're in there. Come out! I saw you. - Launch them. I want to launch them. -Right. Follow me. -(metallic thud) -Ooh! -It's OK. I've got 11 more ribs. -You actually have 13 on each side. -What?! Oh! -Which is technically 26 because they go... Oh, now you're down to 19. -Again, you push this button. -Mm-hm. The signal will travel through the air to this. This'll start the spark, and anything near it will explode. I do understand the fundamental concepts of basic things. -It's tricky. -It is. -Little bit. Thank you. -(door slams shut) -Thank you! -Drive safe! -(engine starting) -Just match its speed. -(Benjamin whimpers) Our natural rabbits' pace should be able to keep up... Oh! (all yell, grunt) (all groan) (grunts) Do you know what? That would never have worked. (Benjamin sighs) Watch it, boxhead. Leave him alone, babe. He's just a country bumpkin. -Morons. -"Country bumpkin"? I'm not a country bumpkin. I'm from London, which is where I'd like to...! -Thomas? -Bea. -Hello. -Hello. -H-How are you? -I'm very well. You... What are you doing here? Oh, just, uh, just, uh, picking up some, um... hardware. -It's lovely to see you. -PETER: What? -Can I offer you a lift? -Why is she here? Oh, no. He's stealing her bike. -THOMAS: That's all right. It's more difficult than I thought it was. -Oh no. He's stealing her. -BEA: Thanks. -Oh no. She's going willingly and seems to be enjoying his company. Come on, come on. (panting, grunting) -PETER: Come on. -(whoops, laughs) (panting) * That's a lot of smiling. More than before, even. She is showing more teeth. Must mean she likes him. GIRLS: Aw... Not (mockingly) "Aw." She doesn't like him. -She's just really nice. -(Bea and Thomas laugh) She smiles at us all the time. Not like that. # The kids don't stand a chance... # Come in. -Would you like something to drink? -Yes, please. Oh. -Are these your paintings? -Oh. (chuckles) That's just a work in progress. No, no, this is, this is beautiful. -Mm. -Thank you. What a majestic mountain range. (laughs) It's an old woman in a hat. Right. Yeah. Th-there's` There's the hat. -That's her eyes. -Yes. -And that's her chin. -It's her foot. -That's her foot. Oh, uh... I'm allergic to blackberries. -Oh. -I'm sorry. My throat closes up. Allergic to blackberries?! Is that even a thing? Is that where we've got to? I mean, everyone's suddenly allergic to everything. Stop using it as a crutch! You know, some people do have legitimate medical conditions. Of course, of course. It's a real struggle and my heart goes out to them. It's very tough, very sad. I don't want to get any letters. But this guy, come on! Oh, what about these? Oh, that's just something I do for fun. You know, when I'm not focusing on my real work. These are beautiful. You don't have to say that. I mean, they must be good if I like them, given how much I hate rabbits. I mean, somehow, you managed to make them look not like the vermin they are. -(gasps) Vermin? Vermin?! What does "vermin" mean? -Like a rodent. -(gasps loudly) Rodent?! Rodent?! -What does "rodent" mean? -Like a rat or a mouse. -(gasps) You think rabbits are vermin? You're joking, right? -Yes. I'm joking. -(Bea laughs) Cos I'm hilarious and whimsical. (blows raspberry) Rabbits are actually perfect creatures. They're generous, honest, pure. You should see the way they talk to each other. They do this incredible thing when they're apologising. -Rabbits apologise? -Mm-hm. They put their heads together, like this. No. No, no-no, don't apologise to him. Why is she apologising to him? Why is she apologising to him? Wow, that's taking a long time. She's apologising the heck outta that guy. NARRATRIX: And this was only the beginning. It didn't get any easier for Peter and the others to stomach. Or understand. Anyway. You'll see. Y-You'll grow to love them. NARRATRIX: But romance is a powerful thing. It can sneak up on any two people. Even if one is amazing, and the other is a McGregor. # Girl, I say # If only life would lean our way # Well, you and me, we'd run away # To be wherever our adventure awaits (laughs) # I heard your heart say love, love, love # I heard your heart say love, love, love # I heard your heart say love, love, love (laughs) # I heard your heart say love, love, love... # THOMAS: And after my parents died, I was put in a group home. Peel. That must have been awfully traumatic for you. Did you deal with it OK? Peel. Didn't affect me in the slightest. Peel. BEA: Yes, I can see that. Maybe I have some tendencies. Yeah, to commit rabbit-cide. -Is that a word? -No. Well, I think we all have our tendencies. Peel. What are yours? I guess I don't like people who aren't who they say they are. It's more about me. I keep saying I'm a real painter, yet I can't seem to finish anything real. But she paints us. We're real. -Aren't we real? -Ow! -Yep, definitely real. -Huh? What do you miss most about the store? And don't say, "Having everything in its proper place." I get it. You have control issues. I miss being helpful. A parent or grandparent comes into the shop looking for a gift for the child they love. I ask a few simple questions and know exactly what they need. I love helping people get what they want. You know? Especially when they don't even know that they want it. Those are the best. Also, neatly arranged displays. I'm sorry, I can't help it. (laughs) Yes! Bananas! -(gasps) -(thudding) -I win! Wait, "taradiddle" isn't a word. Yes, it is. It means "fib", "pretentious nonsense". That is exactly the sort of definition you'd make up for a made-up word. Mr McGregor, are you accusing me of taradiddling? # I heard your heart say love, love, love # I heard your heart say love, love, love -(thunder rumbles) -Oh, no. Oh, damn it. -Oh. Come here, come here. I'll protect you. # Whoa-oh-oh, oh, love, love, love # Whoa-oh-oh, oh, love, love, love # Whoa-oh-oh, oh, love, love, love. # BEA: Come in. Come in, quick. -(Flopsy gasps) -Huh? -Huh? -Wait. -(gasping) -Huh? -THOMAS: Closed. BEA: Pull up a chair. We're wearing fur. -THOMAS: Thank you. -You're drenched. Sit down. -Let me, let me help you dry off. -Oh. Thank you very much. I could stay here forever. (low growl) Hyah! (yells) (grunts) Hello. Haven't seen you in the longest time. Meet my new friend, Thomas. -Would you like to have a hold? -Among other things. (laughs) Oh, look. My two boys, getting along perfectly. Nothing could make me happier. Do you mind if I paint this? Nothing would make me happier. -(Thomas laughs) -Mm, mm. You're mine now, rabbit. (low growling) -Hyah! -(Thomas grunts) (grunting) (groaning) (Thomas growls) Thomas, are your eyes emerald or sea-foam green? Uh, sea-foam green with a hint of battleship grey. I thought so. (Thomas growls) (cries out) BEA: Thomas? And that's what separates us from the French. Yup. Kiwi green. You're the professional. (grunts) ALL: Yay! ALL: Ooh. Yay! Ooh. Yay! Ooh. Yay! Ooh. Yay! -(grunts) -Ooh. Yay! No, no, no, it's an old woman in a hat, you see? I... Huh. I just assumed she would've re-entered at that exact moment. Ow! (grunts) You need to stop. It's not going to end well. BEA: I think I found it. The perfect ma... My painting. (gasps) (brush clatters) It's ruined. You know how uncontrollable wildlife can be. I just... -Bad rabbit. Bad rabbit! -Yes, bad rabbit. -Naughty. Out, get out. -Bad rabbit! -THOMAS: Out. -I said, shoo. Shoo! -Get out of here. Shoo. -(door slams) THOMAS: I'm so sorry. He just went mad. Are you all right? He's gotta go. No way! The sun came up again! If I knew this was gonna keep happening, certainly wouldn't have fertilised all those eggs! Now I have to stick around till they hatch! And be present and involved! ROOSTER: Cock-a-doodle-doo! NARRATRIX: And so, Peter prepared his troops for full-on battle. (sniffs) Why you kids walking so slow? And that is how you sneak up on someone. # Come on, they're 10% pluck, 20% blur # 15% concentrated power of fur # 5% muscle, 50% brains # 100% reason to remember the names # No, they don't need their name known forever # They just want to be rid of young Mr McGregor # They're feelin' the pressure # Tired of runnin' around feelin' frightened # Despite the fact that Bea somehow thinks that she likes him # But they know the code # It's not about the salary # It's all about the celery and maybe some radishes # Maybe some cabbages, gotta let the animals know # That means when they get ready, gotta go, go, go... # You can do this, Flops. Take a deep breath, pull it back and picture the one face you'd most like to see get hit. Ooh, got someone. -(gasps) -(grunts) -(sparrows cry out) -(gasps) -Ooh. -Sorry! * (laughs) S-Stop it. (screams) (screams) (growls) (cries out) (grunts) -(laughs) -Ah! (grunting) -(laughing) -(grunting) (high-pitched whimpering) # Me and my cousins, and you and your cousins # It's a line that's always running # Me and my cousins, and you and your cousins # I can feel it coming... # (grunts rhythmically) Ah, ooh, ah, ooh, oh. He's got to go. DEEP VOICE: He's got to go. NORMAL VOICE: His face was so classic. He was like... (grunts rhythmically) All of the rakes. I mean, I didn't even think it would work that well. It was right on the edge of believability. You guys. How did you even get that wheelbarrow up there? -Yeah. -(chuckling) It was a perfectly crafted sequence. Now listen. We've got him just where we want him. -It's on to the next phase. -Uh, that might not be possible. -Hmm? (birds chirp) (Mrs Tiggy-Winkle grunts) (grunting) That's a serious electric fence. Why is he feeding it peanut butter? Yummy. PETER: He's trying to bait us into touching it. (click, whirring) What happens if we touch it? We're about to find out. (snorts) -(slurping, moaning) -No, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle! Stop! No. -No Mrs Tiggy-Winkle! -Eh, I'm 4� years old. I need some excitement before I check out. -(excited shouting) -Don't do it! -No, Tiggy-Winkle, stop! COTTONTAIL: Mrs Tiggy-Winkle, it's not worth it! -(electrical buzzing) -(screams) (shouting) (groans) Look away. Guys, I have an idea. You remember what Dad used to say to us? -RABBITS: Never go into McGregor's garden. -Oh! Yeah, but what else did he say to us? Don't electrify a lady hedgehog. Maybe we should rethink some of the other stuff Dad said to us. Ooh, yeah, like, "You can't put lipstick on a pig." Oh, no, no, no, no. This is lip balm. (snorts) It's cherry flavour, so it might appear to be lipstick, but this is lip balm. (snorts) Yes, yes, yes. OK, he also used to say, "You can't out-clever a fox, so use his cleverness against him." -(electrical buzzing) -(screaming) Oh, come on, Mrs Tiggy-Winkle! That's enough! (grunting) Oh. -(chirps) -Two-winged flying bird. And here we go. And zap. (muffled rhythmic grunting) (laughter) And zap. (slurping) Mmm. -(laughter) And... zap? -THOMAS: And zap. Zap. Zap. -(laughter) # I've been up, I've been down, I've always got my head in the clouds. Zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap, zap! # Hoping that I could find one of them that's silver-lined What is happening? # ...all it wants on my parade -(zap) -(cries out) (pants) # Because when life gives me lemons, I make` -(zap) -(cries out) Ah. (pants) # Lemonade, lemons, I make lemonade... -(zap) -(grunts) (pants) (music resumes) (music stops) (music resumes) # I wake up every morning feeling sad... # -(zap) -(screams) -(zap) -(screams) (music stops) (Flopsy gasps) Wow, another McGregor down. BENJAMIN: Looks like you did it again, Peter. Let me just check. (eye squishing) Yeah, I felt brain. Now, if history is any indication, that ice cream truck with the lights'll take him away. QUIETLY: Sorry. (insects chirp, animals call) (snorts) (grunts) (crackling) (gasps) Explosives. Explosives. (gasping) PETER: Hide. Quick. Follow me. (Peter shushes) THOMAS: You push this, signal goes through the air, towards this, and everything in there goes... (imitates explosion) (detonator chirps) Good-bye, rabbits. Rabbits? Hello? Rabbits? -Rabbits? -BEA: Thomas? Yeah? What are you doing out in the garden so late? Uh... I'm picking wildflowers. (grunts, chuckles) It's for you. -BENJAMIN: He's come back to life. -MOPSY: With a light on his head. He's evolving. What`? What were you doing out in the garden? -Doing? -BEA: Yeah. By the tree. "Doing" can mean so many things, can't it? -I mean, I was` I was... -Would you mind? -It's` It's just awfully bright. -I was do... Is it? Is it distracting you from what you were asking me just then? Is it better down? BEA: Up. Up. It's quite bright. And so we advance to end game. You sure you know what you're doing? What? We're tryin' to get our garden back. Is that really what this is all about? Of course that's what it's about. You think I've got some kind of ulterior motive, that I, that I'm harbouring some kind of emotional connection to her because of losing my own mother and father and I think if she goes, what have I got? HIGH-PITCHED: It's only about the garden, and I don't know what's happened to my voice. It... It shouldn't be this high. DEEP VOICE: It should be lower. It should be lower. I love her like a mother. Yes, that was very convincing (!) It's only about the garden. DEEP VOICE: Yes, it is. I'm stuck. My voice is stuck. -Cottontail, can you just... -Yeah. (clears throat) NORMAL VOICE: Thank you. Let's do this. -Nice to see you. -Thank you. I'm not sure I want to be part of this any more. (sighs) Of course you do. Just do what I say. It will all work out. "Like always, huh?" said the rabbit who almost got thrown into a river. Trust me. (bird calls) I got this. -(snoring) -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -Dada. -(thumping) -(Rooster gasps) Oh no! Cock-a-doodle-doo! (thumping continues) -(thump) -(gasp) Cottontail, go. -(grunts) Hello? -PETER: Ready. Aim. Hold it. -(grunting) -Hold it. -(Thomas yells) -Thomas. -Fire. Ah. -Morning. -You fancy a spot of lunch later? Uh... Yes. That w... Lunch would be lovely. I was thinking of making a salad. -Oh. Oh, yeah. -Or maybe a soup. What would you prefer? -(grunts) -Oh. -Let me think. Soup. Soup. -Would you like water, or sparkling water, or` or... Would you just pick one, please?! Look at you, you're doing your relaxation pose. -Arms up. -Yeah. What? -Arms up. -Really? Ha... Up? Yep, up they go. You know where to aim. All right. Ah! Ow! (Thomas howls in pain) -You look really relaxed. -So relaxed (!) -Just going to do some painting. -Yeah. -WHISPERS: Blackberries. Blackberries! -No, but he's allergic to... Ah, clever. -(grunts) -Shoot for the mouth. -Ow! Ow. I might put some music on. I hope it's not too loud. Get in there and create! -I'm out. -(gasps) Flopsy. Visualise the face. Look at my face. Turn his face into my face. Now stop looking at my face and look at his face, but see my face, and fire! -Ah... -Yes! -Flopsy! (laughter) CHOKES: Blackberries. (grunts) -(grunts) -ALL: Ooh. That should do it. -(inhales sharply) -What?! -Whoa. This guy's like some kind of sorcerer. That's it. This is starting to get out of control. No, no, this is perfect. Remember your training. Wait, did we train for this? Whoa! (yells) (yells) How is this perfect?! She should've heard us by now. OVER SPEAKER: # This is my fight song # Take back my life song # Prove I'm all right song... # (grunts) I'm hit. -I'm hit. -(gasps) Mopsy! No! (grunts) (grunting) Flopsy, I need you to know something. I'm not the oldest. -What?! -You were always so cute and lovable. And Cottontail, well, she's... (screams like Tarzan) (yells) ...Cottontail, so Mum and Dad told us I was the oldest so I had something. But, really, you're the oldest, and I'm nothing. No! Mopsy, don't go. Mopsy? (cries) (sniffing) Hmm? Ooh, it's just a tomato. I'm fine. Guys, I'm fine! It's just a tomato! Hey, you never heard any of that stuff, got me? Hmm. Dink. (grunts) (distorted grunting) # Fight left in me... # (gasps) Gotcha. You listen to me. I am not a bad guy. You turned me into this. I am a nice person. I've chilled out, man. I'm cool now. I've evolved, but you, you're still the same. Still full of mischief. And that's why things are not going to end well for you. Because you poked at me and you poked at me, until all that's left for me to do -is wring your stu... -BEA: What's going on here? You've got to chew your food! I saved him. What happened? Is he OK? Yeah, I... He... The poor little guy, he was choking on some radish. So I just... I've` I've checked his pulse, and everything's gonna be OK. SHOUTS: You're going to be OK! So off you go. Off you go. There we are. (Thomas sighs heavily) It's a miracle. Yeah. I-I thought I heard, uh, some loud noises. Uh, it was a bit of a ruckus. I was painting, so I-I can't be sure, but did you...? No, I don't think so... I was weeding. -Oh. -I do make grunting noises when I weed sometimes. -(grunts) -Oh. It's just people have used explosives before -to keep the rabbits out. -Explosives? -But you wouldn't do that. -I wouldn't do something like that. -No, of course not. -They're angels. -This is their place as much as ours. -Yeah, exactly. -Learned that from you. -I... just thought I heard something. Is that a two-winged flying bird up there? -I must mark it down. -Where? -Up there. She believes him. We'll never get rid of him now. -BEA: I don't... think so. -THOMAS: Up there. Just in that... In the faraway tree. (detonator chirps) Ooh! You are using explosives. -You lied to me. -I... -Well, uh, yes, but... -(explosion) -(gasps) -(multiple explosions) -(gasps) (gasping) (Bea yelps) (gasps) (wood crackles) (screams) -(gasps) -(debris falling) Oh, my house. My paintings. Their burrow. This is going to be difficult for you to hear... but he did it. He detonated it. He's a rabbit. I know. But somehow, he found the` the detonator and he took his paw... and he did all that to come between us. SHOUTS: He's a rabbit! A-All right. OK. Let's be reasonable. For a start, you know they` they rob from the garden. Did you know they set traps in my bed? So when I woke up, I hurt my little fingers! And then they used electricity against me, which we invented, but they modified for their own nefarious purposes! And they saw the Bananagrams, they saw the bicycle ride, they saw the walk in the park. And where did they get the jackets?! We don't know! But they've been there all along. You're a crazy person. I can't believe I thought I liked you. You do like me. A-And I like you. That's... Are you OK, sweeties? I'm sorry. Come on. Let's get away from this evil man. I'm sorry. Yes, so am I. * -Another day?! -I can't believe it! -This is so exciting! -(excited chattering) - I know, right?! Can you believe it?! Although, things aren't going so great now, so maybe last night should've been it! CHICKS: Oh. ("Rather Be" by Marc Scibilia) # We're a thousand miles from comfort # We have travelled land and sea... # This wasn't part of the plan, huh? # But as long as you are with me # There's no place I'd rather be... # Hello, sweetie. Come in. I'm so sorry about your home. It's all my fault. I should never have invited him into our lives. He's such an idiot, and going after you like that when you've done absolutely nothing to goad him. You're just going about your business, a complete innocent. (scoffs) Sad truth is, though, I actually kind of fell for him. I could have loved him, even. I should see about a train ticket. # With every step we take # Kyoto to the Bay # Strolling so casually... # I messed up, guys. Really bad. NARRATRIX: If this were based on a different kind of storybook, Peter's parents would say something like... You haven't really been trying to protect Bea. You're just scared of losing her. But sharing love is not losing love. Love is infinite. You think we loved you any less after we had the girls? Be honest with yourself, Peter, and go with your heart. You've got a good one. NARRATRIX: But it's not based on that kind of storybook, so this is what they said. (sighs) # We staked out on a mission # To find our inner peace # Make it everlasting # So nothing is incomplete... # Thomas! I thought it was you. I've been trying to call you. I'm sorry, there's no reception in Windermere. How barbaric. On the contrary. It's one of its many beauties. I have some good news. -Bannerman's no longer with us. -He died? Earring infection in both ears. Said it was the stress of working here for one day. Quit, moved to France, of course. -I'm sorry, is he dead? -No. I thought maybe "moving to France" was a euphemism. The job's yours if you want it, pending a psychological evaluation, but you seem much better. Interested? Where would I find men's scarves? -Lower ground. -Lower ground. Just take the escalator down. Right, right, left. With your hip-to-waist ratio, I'd suggest a green check. You work here? JUNE: Do you? -Do you? -I'm thinking. -Do you? -I... I'm gonna go make this right. I've wrecked our home. I've wrecked Bea's home. I'm a real homewrecker. Think I'm using that expression properly. I got us into this, and I let you all down. I'm really sorry. I, uh` I prepared a speech. "I got us into this, and I let you all down. I'm really sorry." Oh, I-I guess that was the whole thing. (chuckles) Kinda crushed it the first time. (all groan sadly) I should've listened to you, Benjamin. Not just about this, about everything. You're so much wiser than me. It wasn't about the garden. I don't know where I'd be without you. In a pie, probably. Probably. And I should've been a better big brother. Truth is, I'm a little lost without Mum and Dad. I miss them so much. -So do we. -Yeah. Me too. Mm. Mm. So, are we good? This was pretty bad, even for you. I'm scared, Peter. Don't be. I'm gonna fix this. -What should we do? -Just make sure she doesn't leave until I get back. Should we break both ankles or just one? I'm sorry, that was weird. -Both. -What? Just stall her. I won't let you down. I promise. You can count on us. Also, I didn't kill old McGregor. He died of a heart attack. -ALL: We know. - The whole time. We thought you needed a victory. OK, then. NARRATRIX: Laser-focused with a half thought-out plan, this is what a hero looks like. Or a lunatic. The line between the two is very blurry. OK, listen up. Here's what we're going to do. Wait, why do you get to be in charge? Because I'm the oldest. -By 16 seconds. -(groans) Oh, Mopsy. Sweet, sweet Mopsy. -Wait, you both know that I'm the oldest, right? -Huh? # When I wake up # Well, I know I'm gonna be # I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next you # Here we go, just gotta... Oh, sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. # I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you # Sorry. Sorry. Oh, no, it's leaving. (yells) -Wait for me! -Benjamin! You're coming with me? Yes, it's my character flaw. But there's no other character I'd rather have a flaw for than you...! (grunts) -(sighs) -I'm so glad you came. I feel terrible that I hurt you. -I prepared a speech. -(yells) (clears throat) "I feel terrible that..." -(grunting) -Benjamin! No! Benjamin, I'm sorry! Run! Run, jump! You can do it! You can... Yes! Peter, you're a terrible apologiser. # Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da... # Excuse me, town mouse, do you know how to get to Harrods? Absolutely. Are you boys from the country? -How can you tell? -Brown on brown. It's a bit matchy-matchy. -Mm-hm. -(gasps) -Come with me, I'll give you the grand tour. -Thanks. -We're kind of in a hurry. -Plenty to see along the way. Tower Bridge. Buckingham Palace. Guards wearing beavers. -Big Ben. -Much larger than I thought. View of the skyline. I-It's just stunning, but, Johnny, we're on a time-sensitive mission, and it seems like you're drawing it out a bit because of pride for your hometown. London's one of the most culturally significant cities in the world. What kind of host would I be if I didn't share it with you? You're right, if we're actually here, we should see everything. Thanks, Johnny, we owe you one. My pleasure. Always happy to help out a fellow rodent. (gasps) Rodent?! * It's a shame. (Bea sighs) But don't worry, I'll get you to the train on time. (grunts) Yah! (engine backfires) ALL: Yes! (both scoff) BEA: Who would do such a thing? I have many enemies. OK, he's got to be here. Where is he? Where is he? Where is he? Wh...? (yelps) (gasping) A talking bunny doll? ROBOTIC VOICE: I am a rabbit. I like carrots. Beep, boop, beep-beep-beep-beep, boop... (muffled shouts) (girl yells) -(sputters) -(Thomas screams) This isn't happening. He's just an illusion. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. (inhales deeply) WHISPERS: Mr McGregor. Psst! Remember me from before? -(growls) -No, no, no, no! I just want to talk. I just want to talk. Rabbits don't talk! I knew you could talk! Wait, are you talking or am I just hallucinating? Call Security. He's gone crackers again. You ruined my life! -(pounding on door) -JUNE: McGregor! -You got to come back with us. -(grunts) Back to Bea. She's about to leave. She's gonna give up painting and go home. She wants nothing to do with me. That's because she thinks this is all your fault. -But we both know that I had a little tiny something to do with it. -"Little"?! -"Tiny"?! -OK a lot. I'm not good at owning up to my mistakes. I'm working on it. -(pounding on door) -JUNE: McGregor! I just hope it's not too late. THOMAS: I let her down. It's over. -It's not. I just wanted you gone. I didn't think of anyone but myself. I'm sorry I electrocuted you. I'm sorry I put traps on your head. I'm sorry I rubbed my butt on your hairbrush. -I'm... -Wait. Wait. What? Nothing. Stay focused. -(grunts) -Please come back. Not for me, for Bea. How do I know this isn't a trick? You don't. You just have to trust me. Trust us. So you really are talking? No. Like you said, you chilled out, man. You're cool now. And you're listening to your heart. That's what you're hearing. -(pounding) -McGregor! Unlock this door! Now listen to your heart. It's telling you to turn left, run six paces to that window, break it open and let's get the heck out of here! -(knocking) -JUNE: McGregor! Open up! JUNE: McGregor! NARRATRIX: And so the two former enemies and one of their cousins set out across the country, a ticking clock their common adversary. It was dangerous, gutsy, convoluted, and, in a story like this, pretty much a journey guaranteed to succeed. So let's just hit the highlights. THOMAS: Everybody, hang on! (Benjamin yells) (yelling continues) MOPSY: Now! -(cries out) -(yells) -CABDRIVER: Oh! -(Bea gasps) Headlights. What? They're not even on. Come on! This is ridiculous. -Shoo! -OK. Come on. Get out of here. Go. THOMAS: I'm fine! I'm fine! (grunts) Thomas? What are you doing? You once said that everyone has a place in this world. Well, this is your place, and you shouldn't have to leave because of something I did. Were they... with you? THOMAS: Yes. Th-They came to London. "They came to London"? Yes. To` To talk me into coming back. Well, they probably didn't talk. It was probably all in my head. Well... No. But that's not the point. (stammers) You shouldn't have to leave. I'm sorry, for everything that I did. And... I love you, Bea. -FLOPSY and MOPSY: Aw. -Blech. You tried to kill them. You blew up their home. You blew up my home. Cos I got caught up in everything, you know? I got caught up in our fight. "Our" fight? You're still going on about this. Pathetic. -Come on, Betty, let's go. -It was my fault. -I-I take full responsibility. -Oh. My hero (!) Finally admitting that he blew up the burrow. Not, as you previously claimed, the button on the detonator being pushed by a rabbit! (sighs) (sighs) Hello, sweetie. Are you OK? Hmm? You were a part of this? I told you! I-I did tell you. I can't believe this. -It's a lot to process. -It really is. -Yes. Please forgive us. (horn honks) (horn honks) 'Ey, you, uh, mind moving all this out the way? -I mean, this is our house and all. -Perfect country gem. Oh, my stupid sister's going to be so jealous. THOMAS: I-I'm sorry. The` The manor's no longer for sale. Yeah, cos it's already been sold. We bought it. -Sorry, who are you? -I'm` I'm the man who sold it. And also the man who is cancelling the sale. No. Sale's final. -You sold it already? -Yes, but I... You and your husband need to move off now. -Oh, I-I'm not her husband. -No. I just` We're` Although... -Get up. -Bea... Come on. There's only one way out of this. You with me? -Yep. -Absolutely. -Always. -Of course. -Love you guys. Shall we? It's so cute. It's like a 3-D version of a storybook, really. (laughs) -Allow me. -Thank you. (screams) -Oh. -What is that?! A gross little goblin or something. Clear off! -(whimpers) -We'll get pest control. (electricity crackles) (whirring) -Darling. -Darling. (chuckles) -(zaps) -(cries out) (grunts, groaning) # I've been up, I've been down... # -(zap) -(cries out) -(grunting) Oh! (both pant) # I don't care, it can rain # All it wants on my parade (music stops) # Because when life gives me lemons, I make... # (screams) (all screaming) Huh? (snorts) (animals chattering, squawking) -WOMAN: No. No, no. Absolutely not. -Oh, no. -Bye. -See you. -Nah, you can have it. We'll keep the deposit. -Bye! -Bye! Lovely couple. -THOMAS: So down-to-earth. -(man shouts) (sighs) What a mess you made. Well done. -Hmm. -Did you just wink at him? I didn't know you could do that. There's a lot of things they can do that you don't know about. A lot of things. (grunting) ALL: Hmm. # Life's tough when you're scared and small # Still tough when you're big and tall # Or wrong side of McGregor's wall # And suddenly your heart is like a tennis ball # Up and down, side to side # Served so hard, you'd think you'd died # No love for you... Help yourselves, sweeties. Within reason. # No wall could ever split us up # Our love's forever... Hmm. -# No hate -# No hate Streaker! (laughs) I'm so sorry this keeps happening. Mind if I give it a go? # Life's rough when you feel confused # Still rough when you hear the news # That each day got to pick and choose # The same old sides, the mes and yous # But don't be sad, you're welcome here # Even certain carnivores are in the clear # I promise you # Wind blows and heaven knows # That sun can turn to rain # There's nothing much to fear, though # Doors close and we all know # That love can turn to pain # So let's be each other's heroes -# No gate -# No gate # No wall could ever split us up # Our love's forever -# No hate -# No hate # No fear could ever keep us down # We'll stick together # Life's nice on a sunny day # French press and a plate of hay # But some days can't escape the fray # Crazily careening like a bird of prey # This old house is never locked # Even Tiggy-Winkles needn't need to knock # I promise you -# No gate -# No gate # No wall could ever split us up # Our love's forever -# No hate -# No hate # No fear could ever keep us down # We'll stick together... NARRATRIX: Did everyone live happily ever after? Well, of course. It's the law in these storybooks. All you have to do is toss and fluff. Toss and fluff. Very simple. You give it a go. (gasps) -How's it going? Yes? -It's good. Going really well. NARRATRIX: How do I know all this? I lived through it. Grew up a little, lost my lisp and found my voice. -(snoring) Wake up, Rooster! I'm telling a story here! Sorry, I've been up since the crack of dawn with these kids! And they're the best thing that's ever happened to me. That was a great story, Flopsy. What are you gonna call it? I'm calling it "The Tale of Peter Rabbit." I love it. But how about "The Tale of Peter, Flopsy, Mopsy, Cottontail and Benjamin `A Loving Family"? OTHERS: Aw. Or maybe you had it right the first time: "Peter Rabbit." (laughs)