I was told when I was 19 that Peter's my dad. You don't know a guy called Peter Kilshaw, do you? I think he's in Australia under witness protection. Does that make sense to you? No. So no doubt in your mind that this is your birth dad? Well, I'd like to know now more than ever. Where do I come from? Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2020 I'm David Lomas, and I've flown to Taupo, where I've arranged to meet 49-year-old Gus McCardie, a one-time chef who wants my help to find his birth father. I was adopted at 10 days old, had an amazing upbringing with my parents. Met my birth mother when I was 19, which didn't go well. Which made me more encouraged to find Peter, my birth father, but have had no joy. I lost my adopted parents a few years ago now, also my birth mother. Hoping that Peter is still alive and find out more about my actual history, because at this point I feel quite lost. You're my big boy, eh? Gus these days is on ACC following four major operations to fix his back, injured while working. He recently separated from his partner, but was for a number of years a doting stay-at-home dad to Dani, his 20-year-old daughter who is now a nurse. Your adoption, what was that like? I had an awesome upbringing by Lynn and Mike. I was super close to my mum. My dad ` we always had our differences, but still had a really cool upbringing. Lots of laughter. Gus always knew he was adopted. Michael and Lynley McCardie raised him in Manawatu, along with two older sisters ` one who was also adopted, and one who was their biological child. When Gus was 19, he applied for his adoption papers and made contact with his birth mother, Gloria. Gus and Gloria kept in occasional contact until her death in 2018. She told Gus his birth father was Peter Kilshaw, a boy she dated at school and who'd later studied marine biology at university. Gloria told me that in the early '70s, Peter was a police informant for a drug bust in Hawkes Bay. I think that he's in Australia under police protection or witness protection. Whether he's actually had a change of name, I'm not sure. What would it mean to you to find him? It'd mean a great deal, as... I'm a type 1 diabetic. I've got a very bad back complaint and four surgeries. I live now day to day. Sun shining, it's another day. I'm still breathing. (CHUCKLES) So before my health deteriorates any more, I'd actually like to find Peter. I look online for Peter Kilshaw. I'm not hopeful, because people under witness protection usually change their names, but I'm surprised. In a newsletter about a beach clean-up in a remote town in Northern Queensland, there's mention of a Pete Kilshaw. Could this eco-conscious Pete from a place called Cooktown be the man who studied marine biology in New Zealand? I can find no other mention of Pete Kilshaw, no address, no contact details, but I feel this is Gus' dad, because there is no other Pete Kilshaw that I can find in Australia. So I decide to head there. Then in an 11-seater Cessna Caravan, high above the Great Barrier Reef, I fly north and land at Cooktown. Cooktown is at the mouth of the Endeavour River. It is where Captain James Cook beached his ship, the Endeavour, for repairs in 1770. With a population of around 2500, I am sure someone here will know Pete Kilshaw. I start at the courthouse. I don't have any records on anything like that, but that name doesn't ring a bell to me, I'm sorry. Then I try the police station. If you want to write your details down, and if someone knows him, we'll pass your details on. That's great. Thank you for that. See you later. Thank you, cheers. In the meantime, I ask around town and see if anyone knows Peter. Excuse me, mate, are you a local? Do you know a guy called Peter Kilshaw at all? Don't know him? Thanks. You don't know a man called Peter Kilshaw in town at all, do you? Kilshaw? No. Never mind. But no one can help me. I leave my contact number at the post office and the general store. Even at the pub that evening, nobody has heard of a Pete Kilshaw. I wonder, has my hunch been wrong. Have I come all this way for nothing? But then, everything changes. When I return to my motel that evening, a number for a Pete Kilshaw has been left at reception. I called him straightaway. (DIAL TONE) Hi. Pete. Hi, Pete. Look, my name's David Lomas. Are you by any chance a Kiwi from way back? is deeply irresistible, with 22 succulent chicken pieces, crispy rasher bacon and vine-ripened tomato sauce. Try it with zero contact delivery Gus McCardie is looking for his birth father, Peter Kilshaw. A man he has been told is a police informer, under witness protection in Australia. I've flown to remote Cooktown in Northern Queensland, where I believe Gus' dad may live. Do you know a guy called Peter Kilshaw at all? Finally, early evening, I get a number for a Pete Kilshaw and I call him. (DIAL TONE) Hi. Pete. Hi, Pete. Look, my name's David Lomas. Are you by chance a Kiwi from way back? I used to be, once. Well, a son of yours called Gus is trying to find you. Does that make sense to you? No. Did you go out with a woman called Gloria? Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, Gloria had a baby who was put up for adoption about 40 years ago. Oh, right. I'm actually in Cooktown now, and I was wondering if I could possibly meet you tomorrow morning. Hello. Are you Pete? Yes. David, how are you going? I'm David. Thank you for coming down. Hello, I'm David. Hi. I was wondering if I grab a seat over there, and we could sit down, and I could just explain it all to you. Yeah, well, I need an explanation, that's for sure. Wife Lyn decides to leave us to it, and we head to have a frank conversation. So,... Gloria, what happened? What happened? Well, Gloria and I, sort of, got around together in Hastings for about a year ` was my final year of high school, then I went to Christchurch. And she got in contact with me and said that she was pregnant and I was the father. So it sort of went from there. And are you the dad? Well I don't know, but I know that at the time I was working at the meatworks and one of the guys I was working with was sort of boasting to me about one night about what a good time he was having with my ex-girlfriend and all this sort of stuff, so I'm doubtful whether I actually would be the dad, and I wouldn't accept being a father of this kid at the moment. Pete tells me he gave Gloria money to help with her pregnancy, but because he never believed the child was his, over the years he has put it out of his mind. There's an interesting story Gloria told about you. It was that... you left town because you were a police informant in a drugs case, and that you were moved to Australia as a secret witness and came here under a different identity. Really? (CHUCKLES) Well, that's in the realms of myths and legends. Nah, that's not true at all. It's not? No. The stories don't seem to be lining up. I'm beginning to wonder myself whether Gloria was telling the truth about who Gus' dad was. So would you like to see what your possible son looks like? Yeah, sure. OK, so... if you were to just push the play button there, it should play for you. Oh, yeah. My birth mother told me that Peter... Same voice. ...was in Australia under police protection or witness protection. Whether he's actually had a change of name, I'm not sure. Gosh, that's pretty radical. So, that's Gus, who's been told you're his dad. Hmm. Is he yours? Don't know. I don't know. He could be, but just because from what I remember in the past around about that time, there's a chance that he could not be as well. So you're not certain? No. No way at all. Would you be happy to do a DNA test? Can I do that? Well, we could organize one if you're happy to do that. I'm more than happy to do that. Yeah, I mean, it proves it once and for all, doesn't it, so, you know, yeah, I'll go along with that for sure. The DNA is sent away, and the following week, I have the answer as to whether Peter Kilshaw is Gus' dad. So I visit Gus again. This time at his lifestyle block between Rotorua and Taupo. So, I just need to check a few things with you. I mean, Gloria, when she told you about your birth dad, it was Peter Kilshaw, is that correct? Yes. I was told when I was 19 that Peter's my dad. It's just a matter of locating him. So no doubt in your mind that this guy here is your birth dad? 100%. My very close friends, I've shown them this picture, I've said find me at around the same age as 15, 16, and everyone's picked out Peter, who's right there. It's honestly like looking in a mirror. I see myself in the picture. Well, this is the most extraordinary thing, because I found Peter, and he's way up north in Queensland. Oh, so Gloria was right; he's in Australia? Yeah. When I met him, he was uncertain that he was your dad, and he asked to do a DNA test, and I'm very sorry to tell you this, but... Peter is not your dad. You're shitting me? No. Um. (CHUCKLES) So from 19, I've believed this dude's my father. And now` And now I'm a question mark. So the big question is ` what would you like to do now? Well, (CHUCKLES) there's even a bigger hole now. Where do I come from? I'd like to now know more than ever. Yeah, I don't know where I'm at now. The DNA result I've just told Gus about was a straight 'yes or no' paternity test. But Gus' DNA can now also be used to find anyone related to him. Currently, around 5% of New Zealanders have done DNA tests, and those results give links to about 50% of the population. If you are lucky and someone close to you has also done a test, then DNA can give you an instant connection, but most often the DNA just gives a starting point to find a parent or a sibling. So who is Gus' real father? I head to meet genealogist Gail Wilson Wearing, who's been trying to find a paternal connection to Gus' DNA. Hello. Hi, David. So, what you got? Oh, well, this has been a tough one. Yeah. So, um,... when I looked at Gus' matches, we can eliminate these two lines as that's his maternal side. OK. And... the Stone name is showing up really strongly, but they're very distant matches. We're looking at great-great-grandparents. His common ancestor is George Stone. So married in 1888. Yeah, 130-odd years ago. So if we skip forward a couple of generations, this is when it got complicated, because descendants from George Stone went and changed their name from Conquest to Larsen in 1946. So here we're hitting about the right generation for Gus' dad, so I guess one of these three is likely to be his father? Yeah. I've been able to eliminate the oldest son, as he'd moved away and wasn't living in the area where Gus was conceived, and the younger brother was only aged about 13. So we're really left with David Larsen, who to complicate things, now calls himself David Lawson. Gail says David Lawson is definitely Gus' dad. And when I search, it does not take me long to find out more about him. But what I find shocks. Gus McCardie was adopted as a baby. And when he later found his birth mother, she lied to him about who his father was. Now I'm back to the Central Plateau, about to tell Gus who his dad really is, but the news is not all good. Well, trying to get hold of your dad has proved a bit complicated, but... we've found who your dad is. His name is David Larsen ` or Lawson he actually used two different names. Sadly, he died in 1989, when he was just 38. From? Well, that's the interesting thing. I mean, you have diabetes. Yes. Come from... well, as far as I know, Gloria's, my birth mother's side. Well, your dad had diabetes, but that wasn't the cause of his death. The whole story is sort of sad, because he used the insulin he had for his diabetes to... OD? Yes. I have a coroners report here, and the policeman made inquiries with the next of kin, and it seems that Lawson was in a mentally depressed state over the last few weeks, that he'd made a will and that he'd written letters to family members, saying what he wanted done with his property. So is there... family? Well, that is the good thing, if there is a good thing from being told your dad has passed, that you have five siblings from` from him. Wow. And three of them are living in Hamilton. So not far away. And... they would love to meet you. Yeah, let's go. (CHUCKLES) We can get there in an hour and a half if you want to travel with me. Yeah, that's... To actually know that there's more of the family around is cool. What I do have, when you thought your father was Pete, I mean, you thought you looked a bit like him. Well, I have a photo of David, your dad. What do you think? Wow. Bit of a shock. You can see a bit of yourself? Oh yeah, even with the smile. Been a long time waiting. Sad that he's not with us any more, but cool that I've got other family that want to meet. It's unreal. No, that's cool. The following weekend, we are in Hamilton. Gus waits nearby, while I meet with his half siblings. So, when you heard about this, what was your first reaction? Like, wow. Just, yeah. Far out. Don't really have any words for it, to be honest. Flabbergasted, really. Yeah. CJ, Malcolm and Alicia were raised in Hamilton by their mum. They were aged 8, 6 and 4 when their dad died. It has been a shock to hear they have another brother. How do you feel about meeting Gus? Nervous. Nervous as. But, you know,... Excited as well, yeah. Freaking out that he's going to look like Dad. Yeah. Just cos I was 4, and it's... It's huge. Yeah, it's another part of our dad. Well, Gus is... On. (CHUCKLES) ...waiting over yonder there, and I'm just going to go get him, and I'll get him to come over and say hello to you. Oh my goodness. Cool. Wow. Sweet. OK. You wait here, and I'll be back shortly. OK. Holy. So, meeting family, how does that feel? Uh, pretty strange. Yeah, a bit anxious, but, nah, we'll just see how it all folds out. If you can see three people just standing up there. Yep. Yeah. That's your brother and your two sisters. CJ, Alicia and Malcolm. And if you wander up there, and just go and say hello. Good luck. Cheers, David. Feels a bit unfair ` three on one. (CHUCKLES) Oh my God. How you going, guys? Hey. Hi. How are you? Hi. How are you? Hello. I'm Alicia. Hi, Alicia. Gus. How are you? Good, yourself? Good. Nice to meet you. You too. This is our little sister. CJ. Hello. Nice to meet you. Yeah. Malcolm. Heya, Malcolm. How you doing? Yeah, I'm good. Wow. Yeah. Bit unusual, eh? I know, eh? Yeah, it's been strange coming through the whole thing. Bit of a journey, eh? Yeah. Far out. Few bumps in the road, but... Yeah. It's nice you've finally found some answers. Finally found. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. And there's still more, and it's like, 'Whoa.' Oh, yeah, there's lots, yeah. Yeah, there is. He's a busy boy. Wasn't he, though? Clever little cookie. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Yes. We've got some photos to show you. Heaps of photos to show you. Do you want to see some now? Oh, yeah, why not? That's probably like... Oh, yeah, now I see... You see? Yeah. He's got the mullet too. (ALL CHUCKLE) So does the old man. You can definitely see the resemblance, eh, in the eyes? There's a definite Lawson male eyes. See the resemblance with that one there, eh? The grin. A lot more. Yeah, yeah, hey! There's a general distinctive Lawson smile. Wow. So, yeah, interesting journey. Yeah. Incredible journey. No, I can definitely see a lot more now. Yep. Wow. (CHUCKLES) Wow. We've got plenty more to look at. Should we go for a drink? Yeah, go for a drink, yeah. Coffee or an alcoholic? Most probably a bit stronger, I think. Yeah. We do too. (LAUGHS) Yeah. OK. Cool. Yeah, I left high school and went into hospitality. Oh, yeah, I forgot you did that hospitality course. Yeah, three and a half years I think. Strangely, he really fits with our family. Like, you wouldn't think we met yesterday. (CHUCKLES) Yeah, he's just, like, a natural connection, really. It's been pretty cool. DAVID: Gus has seen a lot of his new family and is happy to now know more about his birth father. He sounds like he was a real character, just a good joker, and how it seems is that it's run right through the family. I'm feeling great. The rough part's over, and it's just a complete new beginning, so, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good. For 30 years, I've been trying, and just doors keep getting shut. I've been told siblings can't find siblings. (CELL PHONE DINGS) There's actually more to the story. Hello, are you Amanda? Oh, God. I think he's in Australia under witness protection. (DOG BARKS) I've flown to Rotorua, and now I'm heading to a lifestyle block just out of Putaruru to hear 53-year-old Ness Parrant's story. So I was born and adopted in Putaruru. My birth mother has since passed away, but I found out that she also adopted a boy and a girl out as well, and I'm trying desperately to find them. And how can I help? Well, everybody else has basically shut doors, and I've been told siblings can't find siblings, and due to the Adoption Act and the Privacy Act, I'm not getting anywhere. Ness is well-known in town, where she manages the local hardware store. She has two grown sons and recently became a grandmother. She lives with her partner, Graham. I was told from an early age that I was adopted. It wasn't till I was 18 that I was actually told who my birth mother was, and I was actually told that someone who'd been my auntie for all these years was actually my birth mother. I didn't understand it or accept it very well at all. Birth mum, Viv Nixon, was 22 when she had Ness, who was then given to her sister to adopt. Louise and Garth Adams already had two boys, but took Ness in as their own and raised her in a loving home in Putaruru. The same day, my parents sat down and told me about Viv being my birth mother. They said there's actually more to the story too, and we may as well tell you now. You're already in shock. And they said she actually adopted out a boy and a girl as well, a boy before you and a girl after you. Ness immediately wanted to find those two siblings, who she was told were named Shane and Toni at birth, but whose names would have changed after being adopted. When she asked her birth mother, Viv would only tell her she and her brother and sister all had different fathers, but she would not name the dads. Did you ever find out anything about your birth father? No. No. I tried for years to talk to Viv about who he was, where he was, anything. Pretty much exact words were, 'You don't need to know. It's not relevant. It was a mistake.' All Viv did tell Ness was her birth father died aged 23 in a car crash before Ness was born. Viv took all her other secrets to the grave in 2017. For years before her mothers death, Ness doggedly but in vain searched birth records for her half brother and half sister. She had also applied to the then adoption services to try and get her siblings names, but was refused. For 30 years, I've been trying all different avenues, and doors just keep getting shut. Ness is one of the ignored people when it comes to adoption law in New Zealand. When the Adult Adoption Information Act was passed in 1985, it freed up information and allowed adopted children and birth parents to find each other, and more than 50,000 people have since taken advantage of the law change. But the Act still totally blocks other family members, including siblings and grandparents from being able to find a close relative who has been put up for adoption. In a case like Ness', where the mother is dead and the father unknown, the law prevents anyone getting answers. So blocked everywhere else, Ness decided to make an emotional plea to a Family Court judge to get access to the adoption records of her older brother, Shane, and her younger sister, Toni Marie. READS: 'My name is Vanessa Rochelle Parrant. 'I was adopted in April 1967 by my birth mother's sister and her husband. 'I have also found out that Toni Marie came to see our mother in Hamilton and she was turned away. 'I know in my heart that she...' Sorry. READS: 'I know in my heart that she wouldn't know about myself or Shane, and I believe she would want to. 'It's so hard not to know someone you have a right to know. It honestly makes your heart ache.' But while some judges, citing special grounds, have approved such requests, Ness' application was declined. Makes me angry. Makes me sad to think that there's probably a lot more people out there like me that are getting roadblocked. And it hurts. It's really... It's really hard. Well, the way the adoption law is, I can't do anything more than you can. There is DNA, but it's not guaranteed who would be a match of any sort. I'm willing, keen to try anything. I send Ness' DNA to be tested. And four weeks later, the result is in. And what I see stuns me. While current adoption law blocks Ness from finding her siblings, DNA testing is making a mockery of that legislation. Ness is looking for a brother and a sister. While I haven't found her brother, I have found two sisters, and incredibly, one is from her father's side. The next day, I am landing in Hawkes Bay. Last night, I phoned the sister linked to Ness' father, and she told me her dad had only passed away nine years ago, aged 64. A far different story to what Ness was told about a car crash by her birth mother, Viv. I'm interested to hear what else Ness' new sister has to say. Thank you for meeting me. I mean, when I rang and you heard you had a sister, what did you think? 'Oh, God, Dad.' (LAUGHS) He's been busy. Yeah. I was excited. I was like, 'Oh, OK, yeah, this is cool.' And I also felt, you know, good to maybe have someone I could share about dad too. Yeah. Jo Rendall is married with two children. She's an office manager at an insurance broker. So you had no idea? None. Absolutely none. Yeah. Jo tells me that her dad, Peter Oliver, a mechanic, was adopted himself but never found his birth family. And for Jo, this isn't the first time a new sibling has come out of the woodwork. When I was in my teens, I met a brother that I didn't know about, so a half brother from Dad, so, yeah, he came along, and Dad didn't know about him, and so he obviously became part of our wider family. And they got on really well. And I know your dad has passed, but when your brother turned up, did you or your mum ask your dad whether there were any more? No. I don't... Yeah, I... Dad really didn't know. I mean, Mum had talked about, you know, their lives and things pre getting married. I mean, you know, she knew he'd lived a life and things, but, no, no idea. Yeah. Yeah. So, this is your new sister. If you push the black bar there, she should talk to you. I played Jo a video of Ness reading from her adoption records all the information she found out about their father. He was 23, European, three years secondary schooling, I guess, average intelligence. That's me to a T. (CHUCKLES) Five foot seven and a half, slight build, blue eyes, medium brown hair, light olive complexion. And then it says father based at Masterton of unsettled abode. Is that it? Yeah. So does that sound like your dad? Yep. He's a bit taller, but, yeah, olive complexion. Yeah, yeah. She looks like him. Yeah? Yeah, they've got the same teeth. He'd, like` Yeah. Yeah. Amazing. Yeah. And would you be happy to meet her? Of course. Absolutely, I think. Absolutely. Yeah. The more the merrier. Yeah, I think, you know, I'd love to tell her about dad. You know, he was a great guy and a great father, and, yeah, he would have just loved to have known about her and meet her and... Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. (CELL PHONE DINGS) As I leave the cafe, I get a text. It's from Ness' other sister, who I also messaged last night. Toni Marie, now called Amanda, is the sister Ness knew about, the one who was turned away by Viv, their birth mother. The next morning I'm in Wellington to meet her. Hello there. Are you Amanda? But after leaving our 250-degree ovens, the only hands that touch them are yours. Try our Everyday Value Pizzas from just $5 with Zero Contact Pick-Up I think he's in Australia under witness protection. For more than 30 years, Ness Parrant has been fighting to find a brother and a sister who were adopted. Legally, she's been informed that she cannot be told their names, but using DNA I have found two sisters. Hello there. Are you Amanda? And in a Wellington cafe, I meet one of the sisters. She doesn't want to be filmed, but she wants to meet Ness. It is all going fast. A few hours, and a change of weather later, I meet Ness. I called her last night, and she's just flown in. So, your search for your brother and sister, how long has that been? 32 years. 32 years. Yep. And everything you've done, the courts, everyone has stopped you? Mm-hm. Yep. No luck anywhere. OK. Well, you know, I got you to do a DNA test. Yes. Well, we've had some luck. Yep. And... your sister, Toni, she'd done a DNA test also. And we've found her. I know you wouldn't be kidding me, would you? No. Oh. The good part is... she would love to meet you. Oh! That's awesome. That's really awesome. Wow. Now, her name is now Amanda, not Toni, so she's going to come down here shortly, and... you're going to get to say hello. She's a little bit camera-shy, so her son's coming down with her, and he's going to meet you, and take you up to meet his mom, your sister. Wow. That's awesome. Really cool. Thank you so much. Amanda's now agreed to let us film discreetly. She's delighted to meet Ness. She is married, and like Ness has two sons. For years, she also tried to get information from adoption services and is angry she was never told there were other siblings. Had she known, she says, she would have tried to find Ness. 14 year old Jackson is waiting to meet his new aunt. Go and say hello to him. Jackson. Hi. Hi. Hello. I'm Ness. Jackson. Nice to meet you. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Yeah. Why, thank you. Hi. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Nice to meet you. Amanda. Wow. I leave Ness to spend the evening with her sister, knowing that tomorrow I've got another surprise that will blow her away. (UPBEAT MUSIC) How was it with Amanda last night? Awesome. She's lovely. We had so much to talk about ` constant banter all night. And then late last night, she sent me a text, 'Hi, Sis. was awesome meeting you.' It was awesome. And did you have a lot in common? Well, we found out we've both got dogs, but the funniest thing was we both found out from each other that our fathers were supposedly killed in a car crash. That's really odd, eh? Two 23-year-old dads killed in a car accident. Sorry, so... her dad was killed in a car accident too? She was told that too. After she contacted Viv, that he went to Australia and he was killed in a car accident, and my dad apparently went to England and was killed in a car accident. And both 23. Amazing (!) Well, I have a little bit of an answer about your dad, and it's a bit of sad news, but there's a little bit of good news. I know who your dad was, and he did not die in a car crash when he was 23, but sadly he passed away about nine years ago. (SNIFFLES) Yep. OK. I have a photograph of him. Would you like to see what he looked like? Yes, please. So this is your dad. Oh, wow. He's quite nice-looking. It's quite sad. I could have got the chance to meet him... if everybody had played their part and just helped me, but they wouldn't. They didn't. Well, I said there's a little bit of good news, is... you have a sister. He had another daughter, Jo, and she would love to meet you. That's awesome. That's really good. Really sad, but really good. Today, if you're happy to do so. (CHUCKLES) Awesome. Awesome! Wow. Thank you. We head to Hawkes Bay, to Havelock North, to meet Jo, the only child her father raised. Jo is Ness' second new sibling in two days. So, your sister Jo, she's just up there. You see that little footpath there? Yeah. Walk in, there's a gate there, push the gate open,... Yep. ...and say hello to her. Good luck. Thank you. Thank you. Hi. Hi. How are you? Welcome. (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) Gosh, look at you. (CHUCKLES) You look` I can see Dad in you. Really? You look familiar, but different, you know? It's really weird. You're like your dad. Do you think? Oh, gosh, yeah, yeah. You are. Can't wait to tell you about dad. He was a really cool guy. Oh, that's cool. So did Dad know about me? I don't think so. I really don't think so. If he'd known, he would have been involved. He would have been trying to track you down. He would have been... Yep, yep. I would have been employed to do that. Aw. Yeah. He just looked so handsome. He just looks` Oh. Just what I imagined. He's such a warm, warm guy. He just... Yeah, family was everything to him. Aw. Yep. Come in, and I'll show you some pictures, and we can talk some more. Yay. Come on. Right. So, I think this is probably about the time, probably early 20s. 23. So maybe 20, 22 maybe there. So he's pretty handsome. He was a good dad? Oh, he was so loving. He was amazing. You see all the pictures, he's never on his own. Yeah, he's always with someone. And that's my brother Nigel. So Nigel's a year younger than you. Oh, really? So` Yeah, so this is the Nigel that is your brother too. Yeah, so we met Nigel when I was probably about 13. Same thing ` Dad had no idea. Dad loved him. They were like peas in a pod. Yeah. At least he was lucky to get to know him. Yeah. If he'd heard about you, he would have just thought it was brilliant. You would have been welcomed with open arms. For Ness, the news that her father, who's passion was family, would have welcomed her is hard. Lies from her now dead birth mother deprived her of the chance. Just makes me angry what she did. Robbed both of you, didn't it? Sounds like it. Ness is welcomed into Jo's family, and they spend the evening together, sharing stories. You must have been busy on the phone last night. (LAUGHS) I was. I didn't know who to call first. Yeah. Yeah, I had to tell my sons. They were rapt. I look at her, and I think I know her, and so many similarities, and our personalities are quite funny. You know, it's just like someone I've known for a long time. (LAUGHS) This has been like the Forrest Gump movie. As he said, 'Life is like a box of chocolates. 'You never know which one you're going to get.' That's me. I'm really frustrated at the struggles that I've had to go through to try and find a sibling, when at the age that we're at, it shouldn't be a Privacy Act; it shouldn't be the Adoption Act; it should be people trying to find people. We're family. We're blood. They should just open more doors, not make it so hard. It's too hard. I'm pleased Ness has some answers. Her search for a brother and a sister turned up two sisters and a new brother, who she is now in contact with. Ness still hopes that DNA might one day lead her to her other brother Shane. We have no information whatsoever. Perry's grandfather lived a life of mystery. I can't go forward, because I don't know who I am. Now his grandson wants answers. What's the big secret? And we find secrets in both China and New Zealand. He had a wad full of money to go and deliver the opium. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2020 Supporting local content, so you can see more of New Zealand on Air.