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David Lomas sets out to help Paula, who was conceived by donor insemination, and is desperate to find out who her biological father is.

Investigative journalist David Lomas travels the world to track down separated New Zealand family members, and reunite them.

Primary Title
  • David Lomas Investigates
Episode Title
  • The Girl With The Donor Dad
Date Broadcast
  • Tuesday 27 April 2021
Start Time
  • 19 : 30
Finish Time
  • 20 : 30
Duration
  • 60:00
Series
  • 2
Episode
  • 1
Channel
  • Three
Broadcaster
  • MediaWorks Television
Programme Description
  • Investigative journalist David Lomas travels the world to track down separated New Zealand family members, and reunite them.
Episode Description
  • David Lomas sets out to help Paula, who was conceived by donor insemination, and is desperate to find out who her biological father is.
Classification
  • PGR
Owning Collection
  • Chapman Archive
Broadcast Platform
  • Television
Languages
  • English
Captioning Languages
  • English
Captions
Live Broadcast
  • No
Rights Statement
  • Made for the University of Auckland's educational use as permitted by the Screenrights Licensing Agreement.
Subjects
  • Television programs--New Zealand
  • Families--Separation--New Zealand
  • Families--Reunions--New Zealand
Genres
  • Reality
Hosts
  • David Lomas (Presenter)
Contributors
  • David Lomas (Director)
  • David Lomas (Producer)
  • Warner Bros. International Television (Production Unit)
  • MediaWorks (Production Unit)
  • NZ On Air (Funder)
(TENSE MUSIC) - LINDA: We'd never heard of it before. It was all sort of secret. - DR FREDDIE BONHAM: It was outlawed by the church. It was thought to be very wrong. Anyone who got involved in it was very brave to do it. - It was all a bit experimental and secretive. - PAULA: If you found him, I will be truly shocked and very happy. - LINDA: I didn't consider the consequences. SOFTLY: What were we thinking? (STRING MUSIC, VOCALISING) - I'm David Lomas. I'm heading to West Auckland to meet 39-year-old florist Paula Robinson. (SEAGULLS CAW IN DISTANCE) Paula wants my help to find her biological father. So, what is your story? - Well, I was conceived by anonymous donor back in 1980, and Mum and Dad were one of the first few in New Zealand to use the service. - And how can I help you? - I would love to be able to find my donor, who will be able to complete the other half of me. - Paula was conceived at a time when sperm donors' details weren't kept to protect their privacy, which makes finding her biological father now very difficult. But while her conception was unusual, her childhood was every Kiwi kid's dream. - PAULA: I had great parents, a great upbringing. We went on camping trips, we went on hikes and hunting. I was into ballet and jazz and music. I had a really full childhood. I was really happy. - Paula first learnt the truth when she was 13, after watching a TV programme about adoption with her mother. - And then I asked her some questions about` 'That must be really sad for the kids,' and she said, 'Well, actually, I've got something to tell you. 'Dad's not actually your real dad. You were conceived by a donor.' And we had a few cries. And... But I think I was still happy after that. It didn't make much of a difference in my life. I just thought, 'Oh, that's interesting.' You know, that's... That's how I was conceived. - And it didn't change the way you felt about your dad? - Not really, cos he was still my dad. He did everything for me and took me places and loved me the way that he's always loved me, so it never changed our relationship in that respect. (PENSIVE MUSIC) - I get a lot of people who apply to the programme and say that they were the product of a one-night stand, and your father's just a sperm donor. How do you feel about your biological father? - Initially, he was just a sperm donor. That's how I felt. That's how I wanted to keep it to protect my father who raised me. But now he's become... something more. He's a person that gave me life, that helped Mum and Dad have another baby. I am the gift, and that's how I feel. I am the gift. Um, and that he gave it to me. (REFLECTIVE PIANO MUSIC) - Paula lives in West Auckland... - The last time we came down here we went bodyboarding. - ...with her partner, Russell Cannon. - RUSSELL: Well, the water was nice, but it was blowing a gale. - And together, they're raising his two children. - The surf is out there. - The wild West Coast, and especially the Gannet Colony at Muriwai, is Paula's happy place. But while she is contented, Paula still feels there's something missing in her life. - If you found him, that would be amazing. That would just complete me. I really would be so excited, because it would put an end to my search and frustrations of, you know, 'Who was this man?' And, you know, 'When will I find him?' I will be truly shocked and... very happy. (SOFT GUITAR) - DAVID: Well, it's a lovely day today. - PAULA: It sure is. - In her search for her donor dad,... The sun is shining, the water's sparkling. ...Paula is grateful for the support of her parents, Linda Sinclair and Tom Robinson. - They're fully supportive. They just want to do this for me. I think it's great. We'll have to come back here again. - LINDA: Yes. - 40 years ago, Tom worked at the Chelsea Sugar Factory, and Linda was an office administrator. Newly married, they wanted to grow their family. - Well, I'd already been married before. So I had one daughter. We knew Tom was infertile. We mentioned it to my doctor, and this doctor mentioned this programme that Professor Bonham was doing at National Women's Hospital. We'd never heard of it before. Now you hear of lots of people doing it. But then, it was all sort of secret. We knew the donor was not going to be identifiable, which at the time, I didn't consider the consequences of that,... - (BREATHES DEEPLY) - ...as in that Paula would not know the paternal side of her biology. And that's what we're addressing now. - For you, Linda, that meant carrying another man's baby. - I didn't overthink it. That's what was necessary for us to have a child. Either that or go out and have an affair with somebody. That was even worse. (LAUGHS) So that seemed to be the only sensible alternative. - Tom, was it difficult for you knowing that your wife was going to be inseminated with another man's sperm? - Uh, no. To me, it's not such a big thing. She already had a daughter who, too, had become my adopted daughter as well. So I already knew about another man's child. And as I can't have a child of my own, it was wonderful to be able to have a child, who, at least, I could nurture and love for the rest of her life. To me, it was a no-brainer. - So they went ahead with the programme, knowing nothing about the donor and accepting that they and their child never would. - Freddie Graham said a lot of these donors were medical students, and that's all he can tell us, really. - They had a group of donors, and they plucked one out, and nobody knew who it was. And that was that. - Sometimes they did two sperm at the same time. - So they did that to make it even more non-identifiable? - So that there was no repercussions. It seems, on hindsight, to be so... airy-fairy. Sometimes when you look back at that, it's like, 'What were we thinking?' - What we were thinking we were thinking... - We just didn't overthink it. - ...thinking we wanted a child, and that was more important. - Yeah. Mm. - So, there is no written record at all of who this donor was? - They didn't keep records until 1984. Paula was born in '81. So there is not going to be any chance of us finding Paula's donor through their system. Hence, why we've come to you, because,... EMOTIONALLY: ...to me, it's really important that Paula knows. (REFLECTIVE STRINGS) These men gave us a gift. Paula is a gift. (SOMBRE PIANO) But I think until she knows the other side of herself, she won't be able to completely unwrap that gift herself and truly love that part of herself. - Because the donor was active 40 years ago, I'm just hoping they haven't left their search too late. You know, he could have passed? - He could be passed, yes. But, you know, you can sit on your hands and do nothing, which we did for years. But knowing anything is better than not knowing anything. So taking this action, whatever it brings up,... will be. - If we can find the donor dad, how will it be for you to see your daughter meet him? - Oh, the first thing I would say to him is 'Thank you. 'Thank you.' (BREATHES SHAKILY) 'Thank you, thank you.' I'd just give him a hug. and I'd just say, 'Tell us what you want us to know of yourself, 'so that Paula can feel a little bit more complete.' (SOFT PIANO MUSIC) (BIRDS TRILL) - West Auckland florist Paula Robinson is searching for the sperm donor who fathered her 39 years ago. Paula was part of New Zealand's first artificial insemination programme. - PAULA: So, the only way we can go further,... - Paula and her mother, Linda Sinclair, have been trying to find answers. - We knew when we started this process that the donor was not going to be identifiable. - Mm-hm. - Linda has pursued the project with a passion ` writing letters to doctors involved in the donor scheme. - But he reiterates once again, back in the late '70s, 'it was widely felt that the only way it could be practiced was to have a donor non-identifiability.' - So, we're not gonna get anywhere with this. - No. - With confirmation there are no written records from the time of conception, Paula's only hope of solving the mystery is through DNA testing. - So, this is you. - Obviously, I'm there as 'mother'. - You. - But of the two closest matches, one has not replied to Paula, and the other is just a third cousin. - Is that the one in Canada? - Yes, that's the one in Canada,... - Mm-hm. Mm. - ...who doesn't know much information. - So, we're at` - We're at a bit of a loss. (DRAMATIC DRUM MUSIC) - Paula gives me access to her DNA results. I ask DNA expert Gail Wilson-Waring to have a closer look at the matches, and in particular, the first cousin, who didn't reply to Paula's message. I've got another story with DNA work to be done. It's a girl trying to track down her sperm donor dad. - GAIL: Yeah, David, that sounds great. Just send it through, and I'll get back you. - Meanwhile, I look into the history of fertility treatment in New Zealand. For many years, adoption was the only option for infertile couples. But since the 1970s, that's changed. And now more than 1200 women a year are helped to become pregnant at a cost of between $5000 and $15,000 per cycle. Artificial insemination, where the donor sperm is inserted into the uterus, was pioneered here by Professor Dennis Bonham at National Women's Hospital in the late 1970s. Then, in 1983, Dr Freddie Graham began an in vitro fertilisation programme, where an egg is combined with sperm outside the body and inserted into the uterus. These early programmes were shrouded in secrecy due to religious opposition... - DR FREDDIE BONHAM: It was outlawed. It was thought to be very wrong. - ...and legal uncertainty regarding the donor's liability to any offspring. - Anyone who got involved in it was very brave to do it. - A law change in 1987 removed any parental rights or liabilities from donors. But back in the early '80s, when Linda and Tom signed up, donors were protected with total anonymity. So DNA is now the only option to find Paula's biological father. (SUSPENSEFUL STRING MUSIC) I meet with DNA analyst Gail Wilson-Waring. - Morning. - Got some good DNA news for me? - Yes, I've made progress. Let's go and sit in the garden, and I can take you through it. So, the good news is that Paula's mum, Linda, has also done a DNA test, which means I've been able to eliminate all of her matches and concentrate on the paternal line. - So that's good, isn't it? - That's really good. The bad news is that there aren't very many matches. But Paula does have a close match with a young woman called Morgan. - Due to Germanic ethnicity on Morgan's grandfather's side, Gail has been able to rule out that side of Morgan's family tree and has focused on the maternal line. - Her grandmother Jackie, I believe, is the key. One of Jackie's brothers is going to be Paula's sperm donor dad. - So, if I was to try and track down Jackie's marriage record,... - Mm-hm. - ...get her maiden name, then we might be able to find her brothers. - Sounds like a good plan, yes. - And bit of luck, we might be able to solve a whole mystery. - Yep. - Gail has done some more work and found that Jackie was married to a Roger Liddell. So my next step is the Auckland Public Library to search New Zealand marriage records on microfiche. I'm trying to find the marriage of Roger and Jackie Liddell, sometime between the 1970s and the 1990s. I work my way methodically through each year's microfiche. There are plenty of Liddell marriages. But as the years tick by, still not the right one. Finally, when I get to 1990, there he is ` Roger Michael Liddell. The surname of his spouse ` Sangster, and a reference number, which is the key to the next step in my search. Using that number, I order a copy of Roger Liddell's marriage certificate online, and a few days later I have answers. Roger Liddell's bride was Jacqueline Sangster, but Sangster wasn't her maiden name, as she had previously been married. The certificate shows Jackie's father's name, Ronald Hedley Driver. Gail's research has found that one of Jackie's brothers is likely to be Paula's biological father. So finding out more about Jackie's dad could lead me to her brother's. I search online for more information about Ronald Driver. I find that he died in the UK in 1997 and that he left a will. So online, I apply for a copy. A week later, the remarkably efficient UK system emails me the will. Ronald Driver's will reveals that he had three sons and a daughter. Paula's DNA match suggests that one of those three sons is her biological father. Roy lived in Australia. Anthony lived in England, and the third, Eric, lived in Auckland, which was where our mystery man made his donations. It seems I may have an answer. (SIGHS) I search for Eric online and find he's living in Blenheim. (LINE RINGS) I give him a call,... Oh, hello, Eric. Look, my name's David Lomas. ...but I don't reveal the full details. Well, it's a family matter. It's probably better if I could come and have a chat to you. OK, so if I if I came down to Blenheim, you'd be happy to meet me? All right. Well, look, thank you. Cheers. A few days later, I fly to Wellington and on to Blenheim to meet Eric. (PLANE ENGINE RUMBLES) I'm worried about how he may react to what I'm about to tell him. So far, I haven't mentioned a donor child ` just a family matter. He may think I'm here to discuss family in England. If Eric is Paula's sperm donor dad, I'm about to tell him that something he was promised total anonymity for 40 years ago is no longer secret. You look like you might be Eric. - You must be... David? - Yeah. - ERIC: Nice to meet you. - Grab a seat. I'll grab a chair. So, you're probably wondering what this is all about? Well, it goes back to the early 1990s... - Right... - ...and National Women's Hospital. Is that... - (CLICKS TONGUE) Well, I was actually a... a sperm donor... (DRAMATIC MUSIC) ...for Professor Bonham at the time. - Well, it seems one of your donations might have been successful. - Already?! - I've been approached by a woman ` and her parents ` and they're trying to find out who her biological father is. - Right. - And it seems that man was you. - Good grief. So one actually worked. So how did you... track me down? - She did a DNA test, and that led us to your family ` you and your two brothers. - Sorry, how` How did you get hold of my DNA? - We didn't have your DNA. Just hers. I can show you a diagram, and it shows how we got there. Paula, she gave DNA, and she matched to someone called Morgan, your sister's daughter's daughter. - Oh! - So you can see here that Morgan relates back to your sister, Jackie, and that has you, Anthony and Roy. And then when we started searching that line, the only person we could find who had any connection to New Zealand was yourself. - Well, well, well. - So, what we would like to do is see if you're happy to meet your biological daughter Paula. - Paula. Right. - And if you are, we would facilitate that. - (SIGHS) Well... I mean, it's... It's a long time. Um,... I probably need to think about this. And I've got to consider, you know, what my other children might think about it. - Other children? Are they donor children? - No, no. These are mine. Own children, so I've got one daughter and two sons, but whether they really want to know whether they've got any half-siblings is another matter. So I need to get hold of them and, um, just check. - So, could I catch up with you tomorrow and talk it through with you, then? - Yeah, sure. I'll have a long sleep and a long think. And, um, hopefully everything turns out. - It's clear the news is a huge shock to Eric. - (SNIFFS) Mm. - And how will his other children take it? Will they even want to know about their unexpected half-sibling? (BIRD TWITTERS) As evening falls, it feels to me like the outcome of this investigation is very much in the balance. Paula has, for so long, yearned to find her donor dad. But her chances of success or failure are now completely in Eric's hands. All I can do is wait. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) (GIRL LAUGHS) (PEOPLE CHEER) Come and play on the Gold Coast. Get seven nights and activities from just $289 per person family share. (BIRDS TWITTER) (TENSE AMBIENT MUSIC) - The next morning, I'm up bright and early in Blenheim, anxiously awaiting Eric's decision about whether he wants to meet the daughter he fathered as a sperm donor 39 years ago. (CELL PHONE RINGS) Good morning, Eric. - Hi, David. We've had a think overnight, and, um... Definitely intrigued, so come round to my house, and you can go through what we need to go through. - Well, look, thank you, Eric. I'll see you shortly. I head to the home Eric shares with partner Michelle. So,... your children ` how'd you get on talking to them? - Well, they're quite laidback about the fact that there's a possible half-sibling. In fact, my daughter, who lives in Auckland, is quite keen to meet this young lass. - So, would you be happy to meet her? - Most definitely. - It's the good news I was hoping for. With Eric now on board, he tells me about his life and how he became a donor. Eric was born in England in 1941 and educated at top British public school Harrow. Passionate about aviation, Eric worked for airlines in the UK, South Africa and New Zealand, where he became a keen amateur pilot, and more recently, part-owner of a replica World War I aircraft, which is housed at the Omaka Aerodrome, just out of Blenheim. It was after he married and had three children of his own that Eric volunteered as a sperm donor. - Well, Prof Bonham delivered our two sons, and I guess he was waiting to have proof of my capability and approached my wife, my former wife, being a nurse and asked her whether she would be happy to ask me to get involved. I agreed. Simple as that. - It was all a bit experimental and secretive back then. - Yes, we were told we had to be absolutely confidential about it. Nobody was to talk about it. - Do you have any idea how many times you donated? - Half a dozen... maybe. I really don't recall. It's a long time ago. - Were you ever told that your donation had been successful? - No. - Over the years, have you wondered if... if there was...? - Oh yes. I'd often wonder, 'Did one of those little... things actually hit the target?' What happened? Was it a girl? Was it a boy? - Eric tells me I'm not the first person to seek him out. In 2001, a television documentary followed a young woman searching for her sperm donor father. - ERIC IN VIDEO: Fancy meeting you in there. - GIRL IN VIDEO: (CHUCKLES) Hi. - Some years after his donations, without ever knowing if he had successfully fathered a child, Eric had allowed his name to be put on a voluntary list of former donors. - I thought, 'Oh well, maybe something actually did work... VIDEO: Did they make the race? Were they first there? '...Is she, in fact, gonna be one of mine?' Boy, wouldn't it be nice... if it was. - Eric gave a DNA sample... - GIRL IN VIDEO: Oh, there's some good roots there. - ...hoping he was the dad. - But unfortunately, I wasn't. - And now, 20 years later, I turned up yesterday. - Yes. (CLICKS TONGUE) Well, it's all` It's rather exciting actually. - And this time it's reality rather than theory. I mean, you do have a daughter. - It's interesting thinking of her as a daughter, because really it was just helping somebody else and that lass' father. I mean, he's been the father. He's had the daughter. So yeah, it's taking a little bit of getting used to the fact that I have a daughter that I don't know. - A curiosity ` you have a Don Binney painting over there. - I do. - Gannets at Muriwai. What attracted you to that? - Gannets are a beautiful bird. They really are. The plumage ` the way the yellow merges into the white. They're just a beautiful bird. - It's interesting because Muriwai was one of the places we filmed with Paula. - (CLICKS TONGUE) Really? - It's one of her favourite places, the gannets out there. - Mm! Well, there's something. - Do you have any thoughts on what she might be like? - I have no idea. - Would you like to see what she looks like? - I would love to see. - So, if you were to just hit that space bar there... (REFLECTIVE PIANO MUSIC) - Ooh! She's got my nose. - DAVID IN VIDEO: If we can find him and you get to meet him, how do you think you will feel? - If you found him, that would be amazing. That would just complete me. I really would be so excited, because it would put an end to my search and frustrations of 'Who was this man?' and 'When will I find him?' I will be truly shocked and... very happy. - Wow. (INHALES DEEPLY) I don't know what picture I had in my mind of what she might look like, but she's certainly got my nose, that's for sure. Poor thing. - Now that you've seen her, and it's becoming all very real... Quite an amazing feeling, this happening. - Yes. Um... And it's` There's a flow of emotions going through me in the moment that I really didn't think about that... experience. But, um, yes. Very optimistic about it. (STRING MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (BIRD TWITTERS) (EMOTIONAL MUSIC BUILDS) - Paula Robinson has spent much of her life wondering about the sperm donor who fathered her 39 years ago. I'm back to break good news to Paula and her parents, to tell them about the man I've found in Blenheim ` Eric Driver. Paula, sitting here with your Mum and Dad, what are you hoping for looking for your donor dad? - I'm hoping that he'll answer those questions that I have about who I am and fill those missing pieces. - What sort of things do you think are missing? - Just nuances. Um,... does he have a sense of humour like me? Does he have any health concerns that I need to know about? A general history of himself? Just to give me a bigger picture of who I am. - Linda and Tom, I know this is something you want to happen, but how important is it to Paula? - It's becoming more and more important to Paula, as she grows into herself more fully. She needs some answers for completion. On a scale of one to ten, I'd say it's about an eight, yeah? - Mm-hm. - Tom, you're her dad. But she's looking for another dad. - It doesn't bother me. It's filling in that part of herself, which is missing. She has a mother, but she doesn't know who her other parent is, so it's quite important, as she's said. - Paula, now you're trying to discover something that the donor was promised privacy over. Do you think it's your right to try` - Yes, I do. Um... And I wanna make it clear that I don't want anything from him other than to know that genetic other half of me ` but I want to know. It completes me as a person. - If we find him and he says, 'No, this is private' and refuses to meet you, how will you deal with that? - (SIGHS LOUDLY) That would be hard. But I haven't known him for 39 years of my life, so it would hurt, it would be devastating, but I'd have to just accept his decision. - And on the other side of things, if we could find him and he welcomed you, I mean, what would that mean to you and your mum and dad? - I'd love it. I want it. I wish for it. I hope he comes forward, I hope you find him. Um... Just so I can say hello. - Well, we have identified who your biological father is. - Are you serious? Are you serious? (LAUGHS SHAKILY) - Is it` this just for the programme? - CHUCKLES: No. It's real. - SOBS: Are you serious? - Definitely real. (EMOTIONAL MUSIC) - (SNIFFLES) Oh my gosh. (SOBS) I can't believe it. - We weren't expecting that. - He's alive, and he lives in New Zealand. - WHISPERS: Oh my God. - (EXHALES SHAKILY) - We were not expecting this today. (SNIFFLES) (EMOTIONAL PIANO MUSIC) - (SOBS) - Does he want to meet Paula? - He says he would be absolutely. - Oh my God, sweetie. My God. - (SOBS) - SOFTLY: This journey. - (SOBS) This is crazy. - Has he got a name? - His name's Eric. - Eric. - LINDA: Oh my God, I can't believe this. Oh my God, hon. - EMOTIONALLY: Oh my God. - This is incredible. I was just` I was not expecting that. - (CHUCKLES) - (SNIFFLES) - Oh my God, Pops. - Good luck, eh. - LINDA: Thank you so much, David. - You're welcome. - (BREATHES SHAKILY, SNIFFLES) - LINDA: And he wants to meet you. - That's insane. - It is insane. (CHUCKLES) It is insane. - I think I'm in shock. - Interestingly, you have three siblings. - LINDA: Aw. - He was married and had three children before he became a donor. - That is crazy. - Oh my God, that's just like... - (SNIFFLES) - As far as he knows, you're the only donor child. - Wow! - What was his profession? Do you know? - I can tell you that he wasn't a trainee doctor. - (LAUGHS) Dammit. Is he intelligent? - (CHUCKLES) - Has he got a sense of humour? - OK, enough already. One at a time. Ask him that, not David. (CHUCKLES) - We've got to leave a whole lot for him to ask. Anyway, so I presume you'd be happy for me to organise a meeting? - Yes! I would love to meet him. Absolutely. When? When can we do it? I'm free now. (CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES) (DAVID CHUCKLES) - That's amazing. - (SNIFFLES) - How awesome is that? (INSPIRING MUSIC) (CALMING MUSIC) GIRL: Hi. Your daughter calls me Loser Laura. What? She sends nasty messages and videos around. It's cyberbullying and it's out of control. (PHONE BLEEPS) (CALMING MUSIC) (THINKS) Take a breath. Count to five. Look at this poor girl. Your online actions can have an impact in the real world. So let's talk it out, eh? Good on you, Laura, for talking to an adult. VOICEOVER: Every year, one in five young Kiwis are bullied online. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) - After a lot of searching, the time has finally come for Paula Robinson to meet the donor who fathered her 39 years ago. (SEAGULLS CAW IN DISTANCE) (EMOTIONAL MUSIC) - DAVID: Good morning. - WOMAN: Good morning. - You must be Naomi. - Hi. - Lovely to meet you. At Brown's Bay Beach, I meet Eric Driver, who is up from Blenheim, and his daughter Naomi Ashman from Auckland. Well, today's the day. And Eric, how are you feeling? - Yes, I'm excited. Um... just to see what's turned out. - (CHUCKLES) - Sorry ` who's turned out? Not what. Who's turned out? Hopefully she's got my better genes and not my bad genes. But I mean, that's the luck of the draw. - Naomi, I mean, how do you feel about it all? - Well, I know the reasons why he did it, and I think they're very good reasons. He wanted other people to be able to have such a wonderful family, like us. So in terms of meeting someone today, it's quite exciting and quite strange. But I hope she's as wacky as us... I'm sure she will be. (CHUCKLES) - (LAUGHS) Jeez, thanks. - Well, Paula and her parents are just waiting up the other end of the beach. I'm just gonna go and get them, and I'll get you to wait just over there, and we'll be back soon. - Wow. Looking forward to it. - CHUCKLES: OK. I'll leave you to it. (SEAGULLS CAW) Waiting at the other end of the beach are Paula and her parents, Linda and Tom. It's been a long journey for you. How's the wait been? - Doesn't seem real, because we had a name, and that's all we have. But I think last night I was quite nervous and thinking about things, and, you know, and making up stories in my head of who he is. So it's a little bit nerve-wracking, but I'm excited. - And Linda, for you? - Well, we were always told this was never going to happen. We were always told, 'Paula, we'll never know that side of her.' So this is like a miracle for us. - Mm. - We both just wanna meet Eric now... (CRIES) - Yeah. - ...and ask him some questions and get some answers for Paula. - Tom, for you to meet Eric? - I'm looking forward to it. It is always known that Paula was... not my biological child, and I've always been interested to know just where she` the other half comes from. So to me, it is absolutely fascinating. - It's a bit of a strange one for you all, because today you're meeting the other man in your parents' relationship. - Yep. That's very` It does seem a bit strange. Um... And it's gonna change dynamics, I think, but hopefully, you know, in a good way, obviously. I don't see it going bad, but it's just gonna change things. - Well, if you were to look over there just beyond the tree, there's a man and a lady standing there. That's Eric, and that's his daughter Naomi. - PAULA AND LINDA: Mm-hm. - Wander over and say hello. Good luck. - (EXHALES HEAVILY) - Thank you, David. - OK, here we go. (EMOTIONAL PIANO MUSIC) - This is so exciting. - This is so exciting. This is terrifying at the same time. - It'll be all right. - SIGHS: Oh dear. - Take it as it comes. - OK. - (CHUCKLES) This is pretty cool, guys. - It is cool, eh? - (SIGHS) - LINDA: This is our... big day. - Good luck. - (EXHALES EMOTIONALLY) Thanks, Dad. WHISPERS: Thanks, Mum. (REFLECTIVE PIANO MUSIC) (EXHALES DEEPLY) - LINDA: I never thought this would happen. - TOM: (CHUCKLES) Yeah. Neither did I. - All right, well, here we go. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - (SNIFFLES) - Well, well, well. - EMOTIONALLY: Hi. Can I give you a hug? - Of course you can! - (SNIFFLES) (LAUGHS) Yep. Finally! (SOFT PIANO MUSIC) - We're so lucky, you know, with this. So lucky. - Yes, so lucky. - I reckon we've got a similar nose. (LAUGHS) - W-When I saw the photographs that David showed me, I said, 'You've got my nose.' (LAUGHS) - Cos none of my other family has my nose. - Well, there you go. Now you know where it comes from. - (SNIFFLES, LAUGHS) - Or a quirky sense of humour. I've got one of those. Have you? - Good. Yes. Well, I've been told it's dry or wicked. - (LAUGHS) That's good to know. I'll bet this is a shock for you too. - (CLICKS TONGUE) Not really. - Not really? - It was just a question of time ` something's gonna happen some time, and... - Yeah. - ...it's happened. - Yeah, amazing. - Don't cry. - (LAUGHS) This is really emotional. (INHALES DEEPLY) It's so good to finally meet you. - Hello. - This is Tom, my dad. - Hi, Tom. - Hello, Eric. Lovely to meet you. - Linda, my mum. - Hello, Linda. Do you want a hug? - It's so lovely to meet you. - (LAUGHS SOFTLY) - And thank you. - So, it was worth it, was it? - Oh yes. - Oh my word. - She's a treasure. (PAULA CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES) - Oh. (LINDA AND PAULA LAUGH) - NAOMI: Hello, sister. - Hello! - Bring in one of my` - Yes. Hello! - ...one of my tribe. - LINDA: Yes. - This is Naomi. - PAULA: (EMOTIONALLY) Hello. - Welcome to our crazy family. (CHUCKLES) - Yay! This is just crazy. - She said she's always wanted a sister. - I've never had one before. - Only had brothers. - (CHUCKLES) - PAULA: Oh right! - Yeah. - TOM: Come over here. (LINDA CHUCKLES) - NAOMI: This is so cool. (EMOTIONAL STRING MUSIC) (MUSIC DROWNS DIALOGUE) - So many emotions. I didn't expect this day to come, and it still doesn't feel real. So it's taking a while to sink in. (PAULA LAUGHS) - ERIC: # Off to work we go! # - PAULA: (SIGHS) Oh, this is such a surreal moment. - ERIC: Precisely. That's the word I used. - Yeah, totally... strange. (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - DAVID: The families spend the rest of the weekend getting to know one another,... - ERIC: Thank goodness for a` for somewhere to sit. (TOM GROANS) - ...including a day out at Coatesville. - Oh, here comes our coffee. - NAOMI: Sorry I'm late, but I brought coffee. - That's all right. - Oh great! - Yay! Hello. There we go. - Thank you. - So, this is what Paula has been searching for all these years, so... - Yes, yes. (NAOMI CHUCKLES) - The other half of me. - ...it's been really, really good. - LINDA: Yes. - Now, no regrets? - No regrets. - NAOMI: To meet her, he's seeing the resolution of his donation, I guess. He's created a happy family. They've all been very happy together. - Cheers to that. - Cheers. - And now she's got the final bit of the jigsaw, and her mum's happy. Her dad's happy. Everybody's happy. It's just a really lovely thing to have done for another family. - LINDA: And the fact that she's got a sister. - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - And two brothers. - (LAUGHS) It's phenomenal! - SHAKILY: Thank goodness this has happened. It just feels like a completion. And it's a relief for me to see her make that connection. And to find that other half of herself. - And to me, knowing that they both wanted this so much, it's really great to be seeing that being fulfilled. - Yeah. - And also, you're not a monster. - (CHUCKLES) - ERIC: How do you know? - I can tell at a glance. (ERIC LAUGHS) - I feel fulfilled for them. What a delightful outcome it was. - (LAUGHS) - Having introdu... (LAUGHS) Having just got to know this ready-made daughter... - (LAUGHS) - I'm looking forward to the future. I suppose it's given me a new lease on life. I suppose it's somebody new in the family that I would like to get to know better. - It's filled the jigsaw puzzle, and... - Right. - It's good to know. Absolutely. 100%. - Excellent. - The missing pieces ` they're not there any more; they're all filled. I feel complete, like a whole person. I know who my dad is. I`I've got siblings I didn't know I had, and I can stop questioning things and guessing things. It's, you know, the answers are there now. It's just amazing. - DAVID: Paula and Eric and their families have kept in touch, with Paula also meeting her half-brother John. After I solved Paula's mystery, another of Eric's donor children, Emma, who lives in Australia, found Eric through a match with Paula's DNA. Emma has been in touch with Eric and Paula and hopes one day to meet them. - I was wrapped in newspaper and left in the pathway to someone's house. - A shocking case of abandonment. - I could've died. - Now she wants answers. - Why did she do it? Why didn't she want me? - But what I find stuns her. Your mother married a bigamist. - Oh my gosh.
Subjects
  • Television programs--New Zealand
  • Families--Separation--New Zealand
  • Families--Reunions--New Zealand