- Be careful. - DEEP VOICE: Aargh! (BOTH SCREAM) (GASPS) (THWACK!) (GRUNTING) - This man isn't sick; he looks... ho... ...rribly hairy, which I find very unattractive. - There are more of us ` survivors. Now we're being hunted. - JAIME ON PHONE: I didn't make the repopulation lottery. - What? - I didn't make it to the next stage. - OK, I can fix this. OK? Let me fix this. - Oh my God! (LAUGHS EXCITEDLY) (QUIRKY MUSIC) Hi, girls. - (GRUNTS) Get in there. - Too much hay, Mindy. Too much. Good girls. Come on. Sweeties. Here you go. So hungry today, guys. (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) - My friend needs more. Fill it. - I already gave you one. - Well, I need more. - Why do you need so much? - (SIGHS) You can't just do one load. You need heaps. Everybody knows that. Fill it now. Please. - If you cut these. - So you can kill us in our sleep? No, thanks. - I wouldn't need you to be asleep. - There. See? Right there. That's why we'd be better off without you. - You give me a bucket to shit in, treat me like a goddam animal. What do you expect? - Oh! So you'd rather defecate in your pants? - Defecate? Who the fuck says defecate? - I'm sorry I have a vocabulary and I've evolved beyond common curse words. - Oh my God. Do you mean shit? Is shit what offends your delicate little ears? - You think my ears are little? - What's with all the yelling? (BARN DOOR SHUTS) - Jaime told me to check on him. - Is she annoying you? - Yes. - Me? He's the one who wants me to free him and give him sponge baths and massages followed by salted nuts and Indian pale ale. - You have pale ale? - See? - (STAMMERS) No, no. You know I an not the enemy here. - I have actual work to get back to. - Oh` Yeah, same! I work too, remember? Here's what's gonna happen, see. When they go, you're gonna fill this, and in return, I'll allow a hot shower, and I might even throw in some body butter. Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 - Fresh from the ladies. You know, slowing down a bit now with the weather, so, you know, it's, um... Hey, do you mind passing me our order, (SLOWLY) and I will be on my way. - Oh, bless her. - Uh... OK. Um... Do you...? - WHISPERS: Hey. Go on. Take one. Take another one. Fill your pockets. - Portia, no. No. Those are a sometimes food. - Sometimes could be now. - Sometimes means never! (DOOR OPENS, BELL JINGLES) - Aah! (DOOR SHUTS) - Can't help myself. Kids are made to be spoilt. - Kids are made to drive you crazy and give you knee fat. - WAILS: I love knee fat. (SOBS) (BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY) Oh my God. Sorry. (SNIFFLES) Sorry. I'm sorry. (SNIFFLES) - Are you OK? - (SIGHS) I didn't get through again. I thought it went really well, but... maybe I'm not wellness enough` well enough. Well enough. - They're arseholes. Jaime didn't get in either. - Really? - Uh... I'm OK with it. - You're OK with it? - I mean, um, I'm dealing with it in my own way. - Wellness knows best. - Do they, though? - Yeah, they do. - (SCOFFS) - You and me, we are here to grow abundant life, and we will again. - What gives them the right to decide who can and can't have kids? - (LAUGHS) Oh, yes! Jaime, come to the dark side. - Since when do you drink? - Since I quit meth. It was fucking up my teeth. - (GRUNTS) (THUD!) - Just keep walking. Down the left. It's down the hallway. - (GRUNTS) - Hurry up. - I could go a lot faster if you gave me crutches. - (SCOFFS) So you could smash me over the head while I wasn't looking? - I could also do it while you were looking. - Yeah, well, I could also fry the pubes off your scrotum. - (EXHALES) (GRUNTS) - Go. Get in there. - (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) Shower first. - (SCOFFS) You bargain like a person who doesn't understand the power dynamic here. - Shower and deposit... at the same time. - Ew. Fine. - Fine. Well? - Well what? - Are you gonna give me my privacy? - (SCOFFS) I'm not taking my eyes off you for one second. And don't think I'm gonna untie you either. You'll just have to work around it. - Fine. - Fine. - (GRUNTS) (EXHALES HEAVILY) (WATER RUNS) Aargh! Shit! (WATER STOPS) (PANTS) (ETHEREAL MUSIC, WOMAN VOCALISES) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (ETHEREAL MUSIC, VOCALISING CONTINUES) (GRUNTS) (WATER RUNS) (SIGHS) (MUSIC CONTINUES) Well, come on. - What? - Do you want me to fill your cup or not? - Yes. Wait. Wait, what? - Fill the cup ` for your friend. - Oh. (ETHEREAL MUSIC, VOCALISING CONTINUES) - (GRUNTS) - (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) - ALEX: Move. Move. - No, I-I'll do it. Just let me do it. - No, I'm sweet. - No, you don't know how to stock the fridge properly. - (SCOFFS) Whatevs, freak. - WHISPERS: Here. - WHISPERS: What? Why? - You can't just do one load. You need heaps. Everyone knows that. - Um... - Oh, well, don't mention it (!) - Don't mention what? - WHISPERS: Don't say anything. - WHISPERS: Not gonna say anything. - I can hear you. - I like your hair. - What is going on? - And by 'like', I mean the '90s called, and Posh Spice wants her bob back. - Wow. You're the one to talk, Helmet Helga. - WHISPERS: Take this. - (MOUTHS) - WHISPERS: Just go while it's fresh. Hurry up! (QUIRKY MUSIC) - How come you smell like body butter? - How come you don't? - All right. Local craft beer. I bet... it's been a while. I thought we could get to know each other, like mates. I'll help you; you help me. Let's play a drinking game. Never have I ever... been to quarantine. (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) So you haven't been to quarantine or you`? - Thought we were playing the game,... like mates. - Fine. Your turn. - (LAUGHS) - This world could've been anything, you know? - Yes! Yes. - We had the chance to wipe it clean,... - Mm. - ...start over. - (GRUNTS) - But instead, Lane and her entourage are just the same old shit. - MUFFLED: Oh no. - Yes! Keeping women down by telling them there's something wrong with them. - Mm. - Oldest trick in the book, and you guys wrote it. - So, this Lane woman, eh, she's... controlling you, your freedoms. - WHISPERS: Yes! (CHAIN JANGLES) No. - Not really how mates work, Alex. - That's different. - You see, Alex, I trust you. And you trust me. We are mates now, right? (QUIRKY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) (GROANS) (GRUNTS) (PERCUSSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) - Wait. Wait, wait, wait. Where you going? - Just gonna get some fresh air. - I'll come with. - No, no, she'll be right. - You'll be back? - Alex, mates... don't leave mates. (BIRD CALLS, COW MOOS) (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (COWS MOO) (QUIRKY, PERCUSSIVE MUSIC CONTINUES) (PANTS) (SHOUTS) (COWS MOO IN DISTANCE) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (GROANS, PANTS) (GRUNTS, PANTS) Fuck! (PANTS) Hi. - Did`? Did you just try to run away? - No. (THUD!) - Don't... scare me like that. I can't lose you. You're proof my mum was right. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Maybe you should sit. - Nobody tells me what to do. - (PANTS) Can I have my knife back? Please? (GRUNTS) (LOW, INTRIGUING MUSIC) My friend Thomas,... he gave me this. He said it would lead us to a place for well men, for survivors. - Where is Thomas? - He was hunted. - What? - Look, I couldn't find it by myself. But maybe, with a little help from my mates,... we can find the safe place. (INTRIGUING MUSIC BUILDS) (ZIPPER WHIZZES) - (EXHALES) (SIGHS) (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) (QUIRKY MUSIC) - Oh shit! (QUIRKY MUSIC CONTINUES) (WATER RUNS) - (SNORES SOFTLY) (COW MOOS IN DISTANCE) (SNORES LOUDLY) (SNORES SOFTLY) (VEHICLE APPROACHES) (ENGINE STOPS, CAR DOORS OPEN, SHUT) - JAIME: Pip? - Jaime? I was just going for an early morning walk around the farm, just getting some fresh air. What's the problem? - Were you just...? Were you and... Bobby...? - What? No! That would be unwell behaviour. - But do you want to? - Stop that. - It's not unwell if you do. - Uh, I do not. Lane always says the path to your best, free self is littered with landmines, and that's all he is ` a landmine. And it's not like he's even that good-looking. Like, who likes defined musculature? Not me. And that angular jaw line ` it's a cliche. (ROOSTER CROWS IN DISTANCE) He's nothing but a hark-back hangover. It's all he is. WHISPERS: Oh my God. Thank you. (CHUCKLES) I'll have you know I did not come in here before to watch you sleep because I like you or anything. That sound` That sounded like I like you. To recap ` I don't like you, never will. - Got it. You hate me. - No. No, don't say hate. - Why not? - Because it's not the opposite of love; indifference is. - Indifference? - Yes, which is what I feel for you. Or don't feel` don't feel. I feel nothing for you. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) - Thanks for the clothes, Pip. (BARN DOOR OPENS) - ALEX: Bobby. (GRUNTS) I found one. - Found what? - Catch. - How? - All I can say is ` thank God Ma was a level 10 hoarder. - Oh, you're an angel. (LAUGHS) - You're here again. - Excuse me? - Stop with your pervy body butter thing. You're acting like some hormonal schoolgirl, OK? Now, piss off. We've got actual work to do. (CELL PHONE PLAYS TINKLY TONE) Yes! - Cell phones are useless, you know. There's no cellular network. - We know there's no network. Go back to bed. - There's no contacts. - What about messages? - There. - READS: Rise. - READS: Rise. Rise, as in... as in revolution? Who was the message sent from? - There's no number. (QUIRKY PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) - You are a fierce, in-tune woman of the universe who knows right from wrong. You're a stupid hark-backer! You caught feelings for a man, cos you're a weak child of the patriarchy. You are in control of your head and your heart. (PANTS) You're an enemy of progress ` selfishly harbouring a progenitor of the future. How could you?! (PANTS) (PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) (THWACK!) (THUD!) - CONSTANCE: This body ready for processing. (PHONE RINGS) - What up? Jackson Creamerie. - Hi. - Oh, it's you. What? - I've been perusing the body-mind manifestos, and I think we need to do a full cleanse. - No, thanks. My skin's a 10. - No, really, we should get rid of any impurities and detoxify. - Are you suggesting one of your three-day shitting fests? - Put Jaime on. - Jaime. It's Curtain Pants. - (MOUTHS) - Hello? - Jaime! I... I'm thinking about growing out my fringe. - They know about Bobby! They're sending an undercover unit to raid the farm! - Fudge! Fudge bars! - WOMAN: You go round the back. - Psst! Pip! - They can't have gone far. - All right. Let's go. - What the hell were you thinking? I gave you Bobby's sperm for you, not for you to give it away all over the place! - ALEX: What the`? - It wasn't all over the place! It was anonymous! - Oh, really? Because your bestie Viv handed it straight over to Constance in one of our coolers! - What the hell?! - OK, look, I took the stickers off, OK? Everyone's got cooler bags like ours. - What about cow insemination straws ` everyone got those? - OK, you know what ` I didn't even want an extra load, OK? I was happy with one load, but, no, you had to go and get more because you want to get it on with Bobby. - That's a lie! LOUDLY: I hate Bobby! - Shh! Shh! - (SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) - All of you... are absolute fuckwits! You're a fuckwit because you got dickmatised. You're a fuckwit because you let her use you like a sperm ATM. And you. You're the biggest fuckwit of them all. Did you even think what would happen if you got pregnant? We can't go back, not now, not ever. Jackson loved this farm. And you give it away like you gave him away. - I did not give Jackson away. - You called the quarantine officers on him. - Because my baby died! Jackson was sick. You lost your brother; I lost my whole life. - Look, this all started with him. - What? - OK? He goes that way; we stay here, think of an excuse, wait it out, and they've got nothing to pin on us. - Except illegal human sperm in our cow insemination straw. We can't go back. (CELL PHONE RINGS) (RINGING CONTINUES) - Give! Give! (RINGING STOPS) - (MOUTHS) - Hel-Hello? - MAN ON PHONE: Rise, friend. Rise. 37.7870 degrees south. 175.2793 degrees east. Stay safe. (LINE HANGS UP) - Did you get it? - Wait, was that a man's voice? Why is there a man's voice? There are no other men. - There are now. And we're gonna find them. - Come on. It's not like we have a choice. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (MUSIC BUILDS) Goddam it, Pip! Just get us out of here! - My God! We're gonna die! (ALL SCREAM) - PIP AND JAIME: Sync Fest. - What's Sync Fest? - PIP: It's an annual celebration of menstruation. - You've got some nerve showing up here. - You're pregnant. - LANE: Jaime, with child, rip, flourishing. Alex, oh, she admires you. All you have to do is make the right choices. - ALEX: You know her, don't you?