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Ricky Dey, 36, is looking for his mother, Sheree Durbin, who he has been told abandoned him as a baby. Walter Smith wants to meet the son he wanted nothing to do with 42 years ago.

Investigative journalist David Lomas travels the world to track down separated New Zealand family members, and reunite them.

Primary Title
  • David Lomas Investigates
Episode Title
  • The Children Who Were Left Behind
Date Broadcast
  • Tuesday 11 May 2021
Start Time
  • 19 : 30
Finish Time
  • 20 : 30
Duration
  • 60:00
Series
  • 2
Episode
  • 3
Channel
  • Three
Broadcaster
  • MediaWorks Television
Programme Description
  • Investigative journalist David Lomas travels the world to track down separated New Zealand family members, and reunite them.
Episode Description
  • Ricky Dey, 36, is looking for his mother, Sheree Durbin, who he has been told abandoned him as a baby. Walter Smith wants to meet the son he wanted nothing to do with 42 years ago.
Classification
  • PGR
Owning Collection
  • Chapman Archive
Broadcast Platform
  • Television
Languages
  • English
Captioning Languages
  • English
Captions
Live Broadcast
  • No
Rights Statement
  • Made for the University of Auckland's educational use as permitted by the Screenrights Licensing Agreement.
Subjects
  • Television programs--New Zealand
  • Families--Separation--New Zealand
  • Families--Reunions--New Zealand
Genres
  • Reality
Hosts
  • David Lomas (Presenter)
Contributors
  • David Lomas (Director)
  • David Lomas (Producer)
  • Warner Bros. International Television (Production Unit)
  • MediaWorks (Production Unit)
  • NZ On Air (Funder)
- Sheree's mum called us and asked us to come and pick up the baby. We don't know how long he was in that house on his own. He was a bit of a mess, but at least he had been found. - I have no idea where she is. - (KNOCKING, DOG BARKS) - She just disappeared. - She could've had postnatal depression. We just don't know. - People would say I was bad. I did a bit of time in jail. - I knew it was his baby. There was no other option. - You've ignored him, I s'pose, 40-plus years? - I know. He's gonna be quite within his rights to say, 'Go and get stuffed.' I don't even know his name. Captions by Maeve Kelly. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 - I'm David Lomas. Tonight, I'm investigating two stories involving children abandoned by their parents. First, I'm in Whanganui to meet Ricky Dey, a 36-year-old city council gardener who, with partner Shanna Eaton, has a baby ` Emily. Ricky's always been told his mother just up and abandoned him when he was just a few months old. (PENSIVE MUSIC) So, what's your story? - Well, my parents broke up when I was a baby, and I was raised by my nana and my auntie. - And how can I help you? - I'd like to try and find my mum. I have no idea where she is, and I'd like to track her down. - Ricky's mum, Sheree Durbin, met his dad, Kevin Dey, when she was at high school, and at 16, she was pregnant. The relationship didn't last, and three months after Sheree's baby was born, Kevin's mother, Marama Dey ` Ricky's grandmother ` got a surprise phone call. - Sheree's mum called us and asked us to come and pick Ricky up. It was a pretty curt sort of a phone call. 'Come pick your kid and take him home. Don't wanna see him again.' Kevin was living back with me at Tauranga, so we travelled over there, to Morrinsville, in the night, to pick him up, and the mother was pretty stressed out. Her husband was dying of cancer, and so things were pretty rough for her at the time. And she said to us that Sheree had just left Ricky. We don't know how long he was in that house on his own, but he was a bit of a mess when the mother found him. But at least he had been found. And then she told us to take him home and she never wanted to see him again. And nobody knew what had happened to Sheree or where sh` The mother didn't know either. She'd just disappeared. So we were just grateful he was alive, and we took him home. Mm. - Have you ever heard from Sheree since then? - No. No. Never. Basically, that was the end of that chapter of Ricky's life, and we all got on with bringing him up. - But Ricky's was an unsettled upbringing. For some of his childhood, he was raised by grandmother Marama, a devout Christian who even took Ricky on a missionary trip to Europe. At other times, Ricky was looked after by his dad, Kevin, who had remarried, and by his dad's younger sister, also named Sheree. What was his life like? - Not a stable one. Far off it. Because he was always getting passed... Pass the Parcel, as I call him. Like, I'd have him for a while, and then Kevin and his wife would take him back again sort of thing. - Do you know why Sheree left? - She was having a lot of problems with her mother, and, um, her father was dying of cancer. And who knows? She could've had postnatal depression. We just don't know. - It wasn't until much later in his childhood that Ricky was finally told about his mum. - Maybe intermediate, high school. So I didn't really` wasn't really nosy, cos I always thought Aunty Sheree was my mum at that stage. And then it really just... all kicked in. Realising that she wasn't` I asked Dad, but he wouldn't say anything. - Were you ever told why your birth mother left? - No. Apparently, she wasn't in a right state of mind. That's what Nana was saying. All this` All her family problems. And then I ended up here, in Whanganui. - Struggling with dyslexia, Ricky left school at 13 and went farming. - He loved it, and that was the beginning of his farming career, and he never looked back until he had that big accident when he went down to Ashburton. - That accident happened in a cowshed while Ricky was working in the South Island. - I was on a dairy farm, milking, and the manager and the worker pulled up the hose between my legs, and I tripped over and went head-first into a steel pole. And woke up in Christchurch hospital. I can't remember anything else. - And what damage did it do to you? - Uh, it was two head injuries... and lost my front teeth. - Yeah. - (ROOSTER CROWS) - Say, 'Hello, Snowflake.' - But in recent years, things have been looking up. - Walk on, Snowflakes! That's the one. Good girl. - Come on. - Ricky now has a stable job, and he and Shanna are doting parents to baby Emily. - You enjoying that? - Eh? Little bit` - First time on a horse. - Yeah. She'll probably be cold. - She's all right. - CHUCKLES: Eh? Yeah. - Now with a settled life, Ricky feels it's time to get some answers. - All right, Emily? - You're a dad now, and your daughter, Emily, is sitting over there with Shanna. I mean, she's just 5 months old. Can you imagine leaving her? - No, I couldn't leave her. At that age, I couldn't leave her at all. (CHUCKLES) No, I wouldn't be able to do that. - But do you want to meet your mum, who left you when you were about that age? - Yes, I do. - If I could find her, what are you hoping for? - I want to get to know her and ask her what actually... happened. Yeah. And why it happened. And maybe sort some way out that we can keep in contact. - From what I have been told, this seems like a case of abandonment, but I wonder ` how much were other factors at play here? Life for teenage mothers has never been easy, and given the extra problems in Sheree's life, I wonder ` was she suffering from depression? (BROODING MUSIC) - (SEAGULLS CRY) - Back at the office, I find that today, there is help for women with postnatal depression. - VIDEO: One in seven Kiwi mums report having postnatal depression. - But when Ricky was born, mothers struggling after giving birth were expected to harden up and get on with life. Sheree, as a teenage solo mother with little money, little family support and a father dying from cancer, would have been amongst the most vulnerable and possibly in the group that could reject a child and perhaps even contemplate self-harm or suicide. I need to find out what became of Sheree. (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) Because it's now in three sizes, starting from an unbelievable $3.99. All our favourite Value Range recipes now from just $3.99. Domino's all new Value Range. Bring it in. - (BIRDS TWITTER) - Whanganui groundsman Ricky Dey is keen to find his mother. He's been told she abandoned him as a baby. In Auckland, I've started my search for Ricky's mother, Sheree Durbin. I check the White Pages, electoral rolls and social media. At first, I have no luck, but then a Sheree Durbin pops up on Terranet, the property ownership register. This Sheree owns a house in Runanga, a small town near Greymouth on the West Coast. But after 35 years without a trace, is this the right Sheree? I can find no phone number for this mystery woman, so I take a punt. I fly south to Christchurch... (SWEEPING ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) and then drive through Arthur's Pass to the West Coast and on to the small coal mining town of Runanga. It's a long shot, but I'm hoping a good old-fashioned door-knock will get me answers. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - (KNOCKING, MUFFLED BARKING) - A barking dog indicates someone's living here. - (BARKING CONTINUES) - But no one answers the door. (BROODING MUSIC) - (BIRDS TWITTER) - Two hours later, I return. The curtains are now open. Someone's been inside. - (KNOCKING, BARKING) - But there is still no answer. (BROODING MUSIC) This is my only lead,... and I don't want to let Ricky down. So I wait. I still hope the address in Runanga will provide some answers. - (RAIN PATTERS) - 'Later that afternoon, I try the house once more.' - (KNOCKS ON DOOR) (SHIVERS) 'There's smoke from the chimney. 'Is someone finally here? 'It turns out I'm in luck.' - WOMAN: Hello? - Oh, hello. I was trying to find Sheree. - (DOG BARKS) - Um, she's the owner. She lives up in the North Island. - Do you know where she lives? - CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY: Um, I don't know the address, sorry. - Do you have... 'The tenant tells me that the Sheree who owns the house lives in the King Country, near Taumarunui. 'She doesn't have Sheree's contact details, but she'll try to find them.' Look, thank you anyway. - Awesome. - OK, cheers. - Thank you. - 'I'm still not even sure she is the right Sheree.' If it all pans out, it could be good news for Ricky, but there's still a long way to go. Without an address or phone number, Sheree will be hard to find ` assuming she's even the woman I'm looking for. (BROODING MUSIC) Luckily, a few days later, I get a call from Sheree's tenant. She has an address for Sheree but no phone number. So I drive south, heading for a town I've never heard of, Kakahi, and hoping to find a woman I'm still not even sure is the right person. Kakahi is an old sawmilling town about 15km south of Taumarunui. I'm told that it is here that the Sheree Durbin who owns the house in Runanga lives. - (DOG BARKS) - Hello, doggy. - (BARKS) - (CHICKENS CLUCK) - (SHEEP BLEATS IN DISTANCE) - I'm not sure she will be here, but I'm hoping this will be Ricky's mother... - (HENS CLUCK, ROOSTER CROWS) - ...and that she will talk to me. - MAN: Hello. - Hello. I was trying to get hold of Sheree. - Yeah, she's right here. - Great. - Come in. - Hello. Are you Sheree? - WOMAN: Yeah. - 'I quickly discover I have the right person, 'and she agrees to talk, 'but Sheree is reluctant to show her face.' Your boy Ricky is looking for you. What happened? Why` Why did you get separated from him? - I was really, really young, and... we were living with Kevin's mother, and... I felt like I was the slave, and... there was a lot of religion in the house, and we were not getting along very well, me and Kevin. - The story which I've been told so far is that you were living in a flat with your baby, and one day your mother came home and found you had disappeared and the baby was left there, on its own. - No, that's not true. I, um, split up from Ricky's father, Kevin, and I went with my baby to my mother's house, and I was there, and I left the baby there with my mother. I left the baby there to go see Ricky's father. - (ROOSTER CROWS IN DISTANCE) - I had triked to Tauranga, and my mum rang Marama and told her that she didn't want the baby, and Marama went and got the baby, and then by the time I got to where Marama was, and the baby, I wasn't allowed to see the baby. - So you` you'd just left the baby for the day, or totally, with your mum? - I left him there and left a note saying that, 'I've gone to sort my life out. Can you look after the baby?' I was going to get Kevin and then come back and get the baby. That was my plan. But I couldn't hitchhike with the baby. - Mm. It was also suggested you might be going through postnatal depression. - Um, I was depressed for sure. I didn't` I had nowhere to go. I had no support. I just couldn't handle it. I went back to see the baby, and I was turned away from` Marama wouldn't let me see the baby; I was a sinner. And, uh, I had to go. I couldn't handle it any more. I just had to put my wall up and move on with my life, because it was just too traumatic. - Over the years, have you wondered what happened to Ricky? - I've never, ever forgotten Ricky. I've had six other children who all know about Ricky. I knew that one day he'd come, and I will not turn him away. - Would you like to see what Ricky looks like now? - Oh, for sure. I` (VOICE BREAKS) I've waited a long time... to see my baby. - So, if you would push that black bar. - OK. Oh, wow. (SNIFFLES) - VIDEO: Were you ever told why your birth mother left? - Her and my dad broke up when I was a baby, and that's it. That's all I knew. - Aww. - And why do you want to find her? - I want to get to know her and ask her what actually... happened and why it happened. And maybe sort some way out that we can keep in contact. - Aww. He looks like my dad. It's beautiful. - So, you'd be happy if I got him up here? - I would absolutely love it. I can't wait. - Hm. 'It's good news, but I'm still worried for Ricky.' He's always believed his mother abandoned him. How will he react when he hears she always wanted him in her life? (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) (UPLIFTING MUSIC) Come and play on the Gold Coast. Flights and 7 nights at the Novotel from just $799 per person. Save 35 percent. Exclusive with House of Travel. Book now. What's your favourite sub of the day at Subway? SONG: # Good day # Today might be a good day... # Every day has a different, delicious Subway Six Inch Sub for just $5.50. Every day is a good day at Subway. (PENSIVE MUSIC) - In Taumarunui, I'm meeting Whanganui gardener Ricky Dey. He believes his mother, Sheree, abandoned him as a baby. So, how was the drive up? - Oh, good, apart from the weather. 'I haven't told Ricky what is about to happen ` 'just that I think I know where his mother lives, 'and that has him on edge.' So, how are you feeling about it all? - Good, yep. Until I got the phone call. And now it's happening quite fast. Everything's just kicking in, and,... yeah, bit nervous. But looking forward to it. - I got some stuff to tell you. I've spoken to your mum. - Yep? - And that's why I got you up here in such a hurry, because she would love to meet you. - OK. Wow. Yeah. Righto. - She says she never forgot about you... and that you have, I think, six brothers and sisters... - Oh. Six? - ...who have always known about you. She lives just out of town. - Yep? - Shall we go and get Shanna and... - Yep. - ...head up and go and see your mum? - Yep. OK. - How are you feeling? - Bit nervous. Probably a lot, actually. Not a bit. - (ROOSTER CROWS) - Up at Sheree's place, it's all go. - Cherry, here. Come on. - (CHICKEN CLUCK, SHEEP BLEATS) - Sheree has had a change of heart and is happy to appear on camera. - There you go. How's that there? - She just wants to meet her son. (SOFT, MOMENTOUS MUSIC) As Ricky and family arrive, Sheree's youngest daughter, Bella ` Ricky's sister ` opens the gate. - RICKY: Oh, man. It's really happening. Hello. - BELLA: Hi. - And Sheree's husband, Rob, and best friend Mandy are here to meet Ricky and his family too. - EXHALES HEAVILY: Oh, man. Oh, here we go. It's all on. We're too far away. (CHUCKLES) - Hello. (CHUCKLES) - Hi. - How are you? - Good, thanks. - Good to see you, son. Good to see ya. - You too. - You're beautiful. Hello, darling. - Hi. - Oh, that's Shanna. - How are you, darling? - That's my partner. - Aww. I'm Sheree. - Hi. I'm Shanna. - That is Rob, my husband. - How are ya? - (DOG BARKS) - It's been a long time coming. - How are you? - Hi, there. Good. - And your little sister Bell. - Hi. - Hello. - (CHUCKLES) And that's Mandy, my best friend. - Wow. Hi, how are you? - Nice to meet you. Hello. - It's all a bit overwhelming for Ricky. - Damn. - SHEREE: (CHUCKLES) It's all right. - (DOG BARKS) - Phew. - Been a long time coming, eh? - Yeah. - Yeah, it has. - It's good to see ya. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Been a long time. - Yep. Well, you've done it now ` we're here, and this is us. - Yeah. - Aww, darling. Mm. So welcome. (POIGNANT MUSIC) (KISSES RICKY) - (SHEEP BLEATS) - Beautiful. I'm glad that you're here, son. You got heaps of... - (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) - ...other brothers and sisters, and... - I` Yeah, I know. - ...they all know about you. Yeah? I always told them that they have another brother, called Ricky. Yep. - Oh, man. It's... all kicking in slowly. It's been` Yeah, so it's... I don't know what else to say. - It's all right. We've found each other now. It'll be all right, OK? Yeah. I'll` I'm here. - There she is. - Aww, look at that baby. - That's my little girl there. - And she's beautiful. - And Sheree is delighted to meet her granddaughter Emily. - Oh, darling. She's so tiny, isn't she? Hello. Hello, bubba. How are you? (TUTS) Hello. You are cute, aren't ya? Hey? Oh, she's absolutely gorgeous. That's awesome. - Yeah. Bit of river, eh? - Yeah, it's a beautiful river. Changes all the time. - The two families spend the next couple of days getting to know one another. - Now, you might be all right ` just go up here. - Looks cold in there, eh? - Yeah. Straight off the mountain. - Yeah, it'd be cold. - Yeah. Really cold, even in the summer. - 'Was a little bit uncomfortable for a while until I finally come out of my shell, 'but it's going good so far.' - Tiggy! (CLICKS TONGUE) I'm happy, yep. Really stoked. Yeah, never thought it was gonna happen, but it did, eventually. - All right. Let's go, then. 'He's a good kid. 'He's got a beautiful little family and a beautiful little baby. 'I'm so happy that I've met him, 'and I just want to have a relationship with him and move on 'and get to know him.' I'm here for him if ever he needs us, wants to talk. Anything. I'm here. - Mother and son have discussed what happened all those years ago. - Yeah, we've had a bit of a talk, and there's still plenty more to go yet. - Ricky now knows there are two sides to the story. - So, yeah, getting there slowly. - He understands his birth mother's departure from his life wasn't just a simple case of abandonment. Since their first meeting, mother and son have kept in regular contact, and Ricky has been in touch with all of his six siblings. (UPLIFTING MUSIC) - People would say I was bad. I did a bit of time in jail. - You've ignored your son 40-plus years. I mean` - Yeah, I know. - Why does he want to do that now? - I don't even know his name. (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) - After reuniting Ricky Dey with his birth mother, Sheree, near Taumarunui, I'm heading 180km southwest to Hawera to investigate another disconnected family. I've been contacted by a man who regrets a decision he made as a teenager, 42 years ago, to have nothing to do with his son. (BROODING MUSIC) On the wild Southern Taranaki coastline, I meet 60-year-old former truck driver Walter Smith. - (SEAGULL CRIES IN DISTANCE) - So, what is your story? - Oh, had a kid when I was young. Wasn't really interested in children. Dumb, I suppose. - And how can I help you? - I'd like you to, um, see if you can find him and see if he wants to meet. I don't even know his name. I saw him as a baby, and that was the last time I saw him. - Walter is now a family man. He is married to Rangi, and they have two children, 12-year-old Aaron and 10-year-old Alicia. But his younger days were a bumpy ride. - People would say I was bad. I'd probably say I was too. Burglaries and... theft of a car and a motorcycle. Things like that. Assault. More than just a little ratbag. I was a big ratbag. In trouble with police, and... Yeah, I did a bit of time in jail. And, yeah, I was quite colourful, you could say. - And your son ` what happened? - Oh, when I was about 17 or 18, um, I met up with a girl. Um, yeah, that didn't last very long. And it wasn't very good anyway. It was quite rocky. Um, so we just parted ways. - Weeks later, Walter reacted badly when he was told he was about to become a father. - 'Oh, she's pregnant. Well, I'd better get outta there.' So that's what I did. I know I shouldn't have, but I did. Then she had the boy, and that's all I know. I don't even know his name. - Did you ever see him? - I saw the child when he come out of the hospital, two or three days old, and that was the last I saw. - You're looking for your son now. What's changed about you? - I could say it was` it's family, my family, which I've got now. I was talking to him about it, and they said, 'Well, why don't you see if you can find him?' - You've ignored, I s'pose, 40-plus years. - Yeah, I know. - How do you think your son will react if he hears you're looking for him? - Oh, I mean, he's gonna be quite within his rights to say, 'Go and get stuffed,' you know? Um, hopefully he won't. You know, I just wanna see what he's up to ` you know, if he's got a family, if he wants to be part of us or not, you know? I mean... See, it feels like I've got someone out there but I can't find him, you know? Can't touch him. Can't see him. Can't say hello. But if he's interested, see if we can make a meeting and go from there. See if we can mend some broken fences. - (BIRDS TWITTER) - As I head back to Auckland, I realise I have little to go on. All I know is that a Wendy was the baby's mother and that a Manawatu poultry farmer, Trevor Sims, was a mutual friend. 'Back at the office, I get on the phone and work my way through a list of poultry farms.' I'm trying to track down a guy called Trevor Sims who used to work... 'Because Walter doesn't know his son's name 'or Wendy's married name,...' - WOMAN ON PHONE: No, sorry. I don't know. - '...finding Trevor is my best hope of getting an answer.' - I'm not sure who you're talking about, sorry. (CHUCKLES UNCOMFORTABLY) - (SIGHS) - Hello. I was trying to get hold of... 'On my 10th call ` success.' - MAN: Oh, Trevor. Yeah, he used to work here. He's, uh, retired. - Trevor is retired, but I get an address in Feilding. Two days later, I fly to Palmerston North... and drive to Feilding,... (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) hoping to catch Trevor at home. (KNOCKS) Oh. Hello. - WOMAN: Hello. - Um, look, I'm trying to track down a chap called Trevor Sims. - Yes. Just a moment. - Is he` Yeah. - Trevor! - Hello. Are you Trevor? - Yes. - Yeah. Trevor, David Lomas. Um,... - Good to meet you. - ...I'm trying to, actually, help a guy called Walter Smith. He's trying to find his son. Does that make sense? Walter Smith? - Yeah. Yep. - Well, do you know him? - Yes. I know him quite well. - OK. - Why does he want to do that now? - I think he's had a life of` a bit of regrets, and as you get older, you might get a little bit wiser. - UNCONVINCED: Right. - Yeah. Yeah. OK, but do you know where Wendy is? - Yes. - Yeah? Yeah, all right. Are you`? - We know where Adrian is too. - Yep. - Adrian? - Yes. - His son. - OK. Is that his name? - Yes. - OK. Walter just wasn't sure of anything too much. - OK. - Right. - Yeah. Um, could I... get Wendy's details and give her a call? - No. Um, if I get your details, I can give Wendy a call, and we can converse that way, and` Just to make sure that... - What do you think her attitude would be? - She'll be very surprised and shocked... - Yeah? - ...as to, 'Why now?' - Yeah. - As well, I think, so... - It was pretty rough back then, I understand. - It was, yeah. Yep. - Yeah. Yep. - Oh, well, look, thank you so much, and hopefully I'll hear from you. I'm in town for a day or two. - OK. - All right. - Yep. All right. - Thank you. Cheers. - Thank you. - Thank you. - (EXHALES HEAVILY) - I head to downtown Feilding. All I can do now is wait and hope that Wendy will call. But because of the way Walter left her holding the baby all those years ago, I'm worried that Wendy may not want to get in touch and the trail could go cold. Thank you. - You're welcome. - Looks good. (BROODING MUSIC) Ah. (SIGHS) - (CELL PHONE RINGS) - 'After two hours, 'finally, a call.' Hello. David speaking. - Hello, David. Wendy Fletcher speaking. - Oh, hi, Wendy. As you've probably heard, um, Walter is trying to track down his son Adrian. - CHUCKLES: That's interesting. - 'Wendy's cautious, but she's also curious as to why Walter is now looking for their son, Adrian.' - Yeah, I'm happy to talk to you. - 'She agrees to meet,...' Thank you. Cheers. '...and at her home, 'she tells me of her time with Walter.' - It was never really a full-on relationship. Um, I was just a young teenager at the time and found myself pregnant. - When you told him, what did he say to you? - Oh, 'It won't be my baby.' But I knew it was his baby. There was no other option. - And after that? - He came knocking on the door when Adrian was about six weeks old, and he looked at him and said, 'He's no son of mine.' And that was it. He left. - 'Wendy met her husband, Graham, when Adrian was five months old, 'and Graham's been Adrian's father ever since.' Well, I'm here because Walter is trying to find Adrian. D'you think Adrian would meet him? - He's 42 years old now, so he could make his own mind up. - A few days later, I fly to Invercargill. Then I drive 50 minutes north across the lush Southland Plains... to Otautau, where Wendy and Walter's son, Adrian, and his wife, Amee, manage an organic dairy farm. - (CATTLE LOW) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - WOMAN: Go on. - Hello. I'm David. - I'm Adrian. - Hello. - (CHAIRS CREAK) - So, as I said on the phone, your` your father's looking for you. Walter ` do you know why he wasn't in your life? - No. - What do you know about him? - Nothing. - What did your mother tell you? - She told him she was pregnant, and he wanted nothing to do with it, and that was the last she saw of him. - Over the years, did you ask questions? - Not really. When I found out that Graham wasn't my father, I asked questions who my father was and why he wasn't around, and Mum told me that, 'It's better if you don't know.' - 'For much of his life, Adrian hasn't wanted to know his birth father.' - If he doesn't wanna know me, then I don't wanna know him. (APPREHENSIVE MUSIC) - Walter Smith from Hawera wants to find the son he rejected at birth. - (CATTLE LOW) - On a Southland organic dairy farm, I've found Walter's son, 42-year-old Adrian Fletcher. Adrian has always been reluctant to meet the dad who abandoned him all those years ago. - If he doesn't wanna know me, then I don't wanna know him. - But a near-death experience has changed his thinking. - I got pneumonia and ended up in a coma in hospital, and it has changed my life. It's made me look at things a different way. If you wanna do something, do it, cos life's short. Being a father now myself, I know what it would be like not to know your son or your daughter or... a part of you. And if he's reaching out to me, that's showing me that he's... he's actually wanting to meet me. - It's gonna be a funny old meeting, isn't it? - Yeah, it is. It is. It's 40-odd years in the making. Like... Yeah. But I'm` I'm looking forward to it. - I've returned to South Taranaki to tell Walter the news. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - (BARKS) - Well, I've been doing some research since I last saw you, and I tracked down Trevor Sims. - Oh. - He passed a message on to Wendy. She's... not your biggest fan. - No. - But she was helpful. She told me your son's name. - Oh. - His name is Adrian Fletcher. - Adrian. Huh. It's pretty close to these guys, isn't it? They all start with A, anyway. (CHUCKLES) - (GIGGLES) - And... I've met Adrian. - Oh. Oh, have you? - And, um, for years, he never had any interest in meeting you. But he said he's changed a bit now, and he says... he will meet you. (POIGNANT MUSIC) - Oh, wow, dear. - That's good. - Yay! - Yeah. Mm. - You all right? All right, dear? - Yep. - So, you're a grandfather. - What?! - Oh, wow, dear. - Yeah? (CHUCKLES) - Three times over. - CHUCKLES: Oh. - (LAUGHS) - (CHUCKLES) Oh, yeah. I just want to say I want to know his wife and kids and stuff like that, you know. - He lives way down in Southland. - Oh, yeah? - So if you're happy to, I'd like to take you to Otautau and meet your son. - Yeah, absolutely. - How does it feel to finally get an answer? - Can't put it into words. It's unbelievable. - Four days later, an anxious Walter lands in Invercargill. - (BIRDS CRY) - He's about to meet the son he once wanted nothing to do with. So, today's the day. I mean, how are you feeling about it all? - It's really nerve-racking, you know? It's... Thinking what to say, how to act. You know, I'm` I'm a pretty rough sort of guy, as you` as you know. Um, (CHUCKLES) yeah. What he's gonna think of me, you know? It's massive. My son. I haven't seen him` It's been 42 years. You know? So... what are we to do except go and see him and his family and be part of it, and get him to be part of mine if he's willing? I'm looking forward to this, I tell you. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - I give Walter instructions on how to find Adrian's farm at Otautau. Then I head off first to catch up with Adrian and his wife, Amee. Well, Walter's flown in. - OK. - You ready for it? - Yeah. It's all gettin' real now. (CHUCKLES) - 'While we talk, Walter is on his way.' How's he been feeling about it all? - Um, nervous, (CHUCKLES) um, excited... But, yeah, I think, as we're getting closer, (CHUCKLES) the nerves are really kicking in, yeah. - 'What do you hope will happen today?' - Hoping that I get to have a good relationship with him and find out a bit what happened all those years ago, and just fill a spot... that's missing inside me ` see where I came from and... Yeah. - 'Two men of few words, 'father and son, 'are about to meet.' It's a big gap to breach. I mean, it's 42 years. - Yeah. Yeah. It is a long time, but... you can't dwell on the past. You've just got to look at the future and just build on the future. - Also waiting to meet Walter are Adrian's and Amee's daughters, Briar and Milla, and their son, Jett. - (DOGS BARK) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - (BARKS) - (SEATBELT ALERT DINGS) - Long time, eh. Eh? - Yeah. - EXHALES: Oh. Always wondered what you'd look like. - VOICE BREAKS: Yeah. - Eh? You're a big boy. - Wonder where I get that from (!) - (LAUGHS) Yeah, I dunno. Oh, jeez. All this time ` I dunno what to say. - (EXHALES HEAVILY) It's good to see you. - Yeah. Well, it's the first time I ever seen you. Last time I saw, you were like that. And then... Mother said, 'No more. Get.' So... - Yeah. Good to see you, mate. - Mm. It's emotional, eh? - Yeah. - Yeah. - (TODDLER SQUEALS IN BACKGROUND) So, is this your family? - Yeah. It's... - Hi. - My wife, Amy. - Nice to meet you. Oh. (CHUCKLES) - Good to meet you. - And oldest daughter, Briar. - Hello. - Hey. - (CHUCKLES) - And Milla. - Hi. - Hey. - And then... big age gap ` my wee man, Jett. Here, Jett. Come here. - AMEE: Say hello. - Say hello? - 'Hello.' - Come on. Come here. - (CHUCKLES) - Oh. - Oh! You're a big fulla, aren't ya? - Yeah. - Yeah. Eh? - Yeah. - You wonder who the hell I am, don't you? - Yeah. - (LAUGHS) - CHUCKLES: Yeah. Yeah, Dad and Mum will tell you one day. - Yeah. - I'll put you down, eh? (CHUCKLES) - (AMEE CHUCKLES TEARFULLY) - (EXHALES HEAVILY) - Oh... It's been a long time. Even a long trip. (CHUCKLES) - Yeah. Oh, it's just... Yeah, it's good to see you. Finally put a name` a face to the name. - Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, I wouldn't even have known you if I walked past you in the street, you know, and that's` that's bad, eh. You know, 40-odd years. Yeah, he's the son that anyone would want. He's` He's a good b` good man, I should say. - So, truck driver? - Oh. Was. - Yeah? - Yeah. Yeah. I've done a` taken a bit of a detour from that, so... - Yeah. I drove for a while. - Did you? - Yeah. - What, down here? - Yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah. We, sort of, can talk good. We just... hit it off. I mean, we're just, sort of, very similar. - That'd be about five years, I s'pose. - Oh, yeah? - Took a break from cows and... - (CHUCKLES) - ...went truck driving, but... You know, it's just amazing how much we've got in common. - Oh, well, cos was my first job. - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. - He did milking cows and truck driving for jobs; I did truck driving and... still milking cows. He's into motorbikes. I like motorbikes. He likes his hunting and fishing. I'm into hunting and fishing. - Yeah, I haven't done a bit of hunting for ages. - Oh, it's easy hunting. I just drive along in the ute, shooting out the window. - Yeah. (LAUGHS) - (LAUGHS) - 'Oh, I feel absolutely elated.' I dunno know why I didn't do it sooner. You know? It's just` just` Oh, it's just unbelievable. - Have a cruise around, eh? - Yeah. - CHUCKLES: See the sights of Invercargill. - During his stay, Walter spends time with Adrian and his family, including a trip to Bluff and to Invercargill's Classic Motorcycle Mecca. Walter hopes to bring his family down from Hawera to meet Adrian's family at Otautau later in the year. - MAN: I haven't been able to find my birth mother. - Searching for missing family. - She was struggling. - He's always wondered about the mother who gave him away. - She just couldn't live with the fact that she might die and not tell me. - And a secret revealed late in life. - There was this lady that looked like me. Like a twin. It was a` quite a big shock.
Subjects
  • Television programs--New Zealand
  • Families--Separation--New Zealand
  • Families--Reunions--New Zealand