- You were being tracked by Ms Boba Fett Terminator back there 14 days ago... - (ALL SCREAM) - ...and you didn't think to tell us?! - Pip, look out! (TYRES SCREECH) - PIP AND JAIME: SyncFest. - Why are we walking ourselves out of the fire, into the fucking furnace of hell? - Because the best hiding is hiding in plain sight. - Don't screw this up. Moony is a hero. - Your guest with me by sundown. (BOBBY GRUNTS) - No! - Jaime, what are you doing? (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - Come on! We're losing them. - MUTTERS: Find your abundance, find your abundance. I have to make it click, OK? I'm going to get Bobby back. - And Jaime? Your friend, Jaime. - Yes, Jaime, obviously. Goes without saying. (TYRES SCREECH) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) - There! There they are. Come on, drive faster! (ENGINE STRUGGLES) (ENGINE RUMBLE QUIETENS) Why aren't you driving faster? - This is a residential zone. - What?! (DRAMATIC MUSIC) www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 - (BOBBY GROANS) GROANS: Where are we going? (SCREECHES) These tights are so tight! I like your weapon. - Don't touch that. - (SCREECHES) - Oh fuck. (BREATHES SHAKILY) - (SCREECHES) HYSTERICALLY: Oh my God, my thigh! - (PANTS) OK. - HUNTER: Shut up. - (GROANS) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - (GROANS, SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY) (CONTINUES GROANING) (INQUISITIVE MUSIC) - WHISPERS: What? (BRAKES SQUEAL) (PANTS FEARFULLY) (CAR DOOR OPENS) - I can't feel my legs. I smell like snail. - Shut up. (GRUNTS) - (GROANS) - GRUNTS: Stupid bloody thing. - ALEX: You lost them. - Because she was exceeding the speed limit. - Because your priorities are fucked. - (SIGHS) Which way would you go? - That way. (TYRES SQUEAL) - (BOBBY MUMBLES) (GROANS) (OBJECTS CLANG) Please don't cut me. - Stay still. Stay still. - Get off me! Hey, get off me, you` - Oh, Jesus. Shut up. - (WHEEZES) - Shut up. - (WHEEZES) - (SIGHS) - (SLURS) Oh my God, I... I know you. - Hey! - I know you! Y-you... - Hey. EXASPERATED: Fuck it. - (SCREAMS) Hey, get off me! You... - (SIGHS) - You killed my friend! You killed Thomas. You killed Thomas. Let me go! - (COCKS RIFLE) It's for your own good. - No! - Get away from him, you bitch. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (EXCLAIMS) (BREATHES SHAKILY) (TENSE MUSIC) Ah! (SQUEALS FEARFULLY) (GASPS SHAKILY) (DRAMATIC MUSIC SWELLS) Get back! (PANTS) Get back. (CLANG! CLANG!) (YELPS) Get back! (CLANG!) Get back! (CLANG!) (DRAMATIC MUSIC FADES) - You jammy bitch. - (GROANS) (SPADE CLATTERS) - (BREATHES SHAKILY) - (GROANS) - (GASPS) Bobby. - (GROANS) Hm? - (GRUNTS, PANTS) Are you OK? - Hey. I know you. (ENGINE RUMBLES) Thanks... for back there. Honestly, I didn't think you had it in you. - You know what else is in me? Baby. (CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY) In... In me, from you. Well, either that or I ate some bad eggs, but they give me the shits, and I don't have any shits. Well, apart from regular shits, so, um... (CURIOUS MUSIC) - Are you sure it's mine? (QUIRKY MUSIC) - Look. They were here. - (GASPS) Oh my God. - What is it? Where are you going? They were there! Pip! - Jaime? Jaime! - Guys? - ALEX: Oh my God! Jaime. - Alex. (GASPS) Pip! - Bobby! - You made it. - (LAUGHS JOYFULLY) - Hi. - LAUGHS: Hey. - You all right? - I'm fine. - Holy shit, Pip. You did it. What kind of ESP telepathic...? - In E.T. When he's lost, they find him near the town storm drain. You remembered. - (SIGHS) We only watched it every birthday for, like, seven years. - What's E.T.? - You know, that movie with the, uh, alien. Looks like a shaved ball sack. - (LAUGHS) - You shut your mouth. You think you're funny; you don't even know. That film is everything about friendship. Elliott's only 10, and no one ` not his parents, not even the army ` no one but him goes the extra mile for friendship ` no one. - Pip. It's OK. OK? You're my Elliott. (REFLECTIVE MUSIC) - It's getting late. - (BREATHES SHAKILY) - WHISPERS: You OK? - Yeah, I'm fine. - So, you killed her, eh? The hunter. - (SCOFFS) It wasn't me. It was all her. I mean, she straight-up executed that bitch. - No, I didn't. - You shot her with her own gun. - No, I didn't. It was a tranquilliser gun. - What? - You thought I killed her, and then we didn't talk about it again. - So she wanted me alive? - Anyway, so we go back to the coordinates. Then what? More waiting. - The man on the phone ` he only answered because I was a man. So maybe I-I should just go alone. - No. No, we are not splitting up again. - I mean, I go in alone, then you three, you join me later. And I'll vouch for all three of you, OK? Plan? - Plan. - Plan. - Plan, Pip? - Pip knows the score. She's got this on lockdown, right, Pip? Pip? - Where have you taken us? This is a Wellness Centre. Pip! - Pip, turn around. - Why have you done this? - Turn around! - No! - No! - # Drunk little Indian boy, they said. # Spouting off his mouth 'bout the great man's debt. # What's a little brag between boys in the cell? # You never know who's listening at the gates of hell. # They're like video stores ` press, rewind, delete. # On those that don't work, that don't fit nice and neat. # In the future, we'd say he's worth something. # Hell, I could've been somebody. Don't you know who I am? # Don't you know who I am? # In certain circles, well, you can't touch me. # I'ma dance around, you know I'm connected to the powers that be. # Like Ali, you ain't got nothing on me. # You put my tail in jail. Is this a place called hell? # Wheelin' and dealin' on a Saturday night. # Caught between a calling and a stitched-up fight. # Brushing birds that travel hell outta here. # Can you see me in your eyes? Don't you know who I am? # Don't you know who I am? # * (DELICATE MUSIC) (DOOR CREAKS, SHUTS) - What you did today ` I can't imagine how hard that was for you. - (BREATHES SHAKILY) You're not gonna hurt them, right? Everything will go back to the way it was, like you said? - You have my word. You'll stay here tonight for our annual SyncFest. - I'm coming to that? - CHUCKLES: Why, Pippi, you are the guest of honour. (TENSE MUSIC) - (GRUNTS, PANTS) Hey, give me your top. - Incest. - Come on, just give me your top. - SIGHS: Fuck. (GRUNTS) - SOFTLY: OK, yeah. - You're a shit MacGyver, you know that? - Yeah, well, you're a do-nothing bitch. (BREATHES HEAVILY) OK. (GRUNTS) - I think you were supposed to hold on to one end. - (RETCHES) - You haven't been eating bad eggs, have you? (DOOR BUZZES) (OMINOUS MUSIC BUILDS) - I see my lucky girls can't wait to be forever free. You must be so excited about the procedure. If you could remove the rest of your clothes, underwear, jewellery, and put these on. - OK, Lane. You got me, all right? I won't fight you. - Please remove your clothes, jewellery, and put these on. - Jaime's got nothing to do with it. You have to let her go. - Have to... Why do I have to? - Because she's pregnant. - QUIETLY: Oh my Goddess. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Congratulations. Pip didn't say. - I didn't tell her. - Oh. (CHUCKLES) Oh, you must have had such... (SMACK!) ...fun with your house guest. - (BREATHES SHAKILY) Where is Pip? - Not your concern. - Well, I need to talk to her. - She talked to me. She asked for everything to go back to the way it was. - Where is she? - I'm sensing a tone in your voice. - You're a liar! You're nothing but a liar. - How am I a liar, sweetie? - You just said ` everything would go back to the way it was. - And so it shall. I remember when Alex's mum came here ` angry, stressed, in pain. Now her mum dances. She sings, she smells roses. Just like she did way back before any of this negativity started. Mm? - (SCREAMS) Fuck you! - SHAKILY: Lane. - (SOBS) - Please don't do this. - Thank you for your cooperation. - (SOBS) No, no! Give it back. - Give it back, Lane! - (SOBS) - You can't do this to us! - Gorgeous. - Please! - (GASPS) Oh my Goddess. (GASPS) (GASPS SHARPLY) (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS) (WOMAN LAUGHS) (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (GASPS) - Oh my gosh. Wow. - Oh! - Wow. Pip, you look stunning. - I've always thought this about you, but you are my idol. - Yeah. - I can't believe you found a real, live, breathing human male. (LAUGHS) - How do you do it? - Don't crowd her. I'll take you to your seat. - She wants to sit by me. - I'll just take her to her seat. And when you get a chance, you have to teach me how you do your smoky eye, OK? How do you get the wings to flick out? An even flick out? Cos that's difficult. (CHUCKLES) OK, you sit there. (CLASSICAL MUSIC CONTINUES) - Everyone, (CLAPS) please be seated. I cannot believe how blessed we are ` this unprecedented SyncFest. Can you feel it? The energy vibrating in the room? (LAUGHS) - (ALL LAUGH SOFTLY) - Such excitement... - (ALL LAUGH) - ...in the air, such abundant hope. It is my honour, my unmitigated joy to welcome new committee member Pippa to our table. - Welcome, Pippa. - (ALL APPLAUD) - It's Pip. (CHUCKLES) Just call me Pip. - Pippin here has brought to us today a treasure precious as a sabre-toothed tiger. - (ALL GASP, LAUGH IN EXCITEMENT) - Everyone, this is Robert. - (ALL MURMUR EXCITEDLY) - Hi, Robert. - Robert. - Hey, Robert. (CHUCKLES) - Robert will be joining us for dinner before I chaperone him to Government House in the morning. And so, without further ado, let's drink and feast. - Yes! - (ALL WHOOP) - Carpe futurum. - ALL: Carpe futurum. - WOMAN: He must be so hungry. (CUTLERY CLANGS) I could bag you some of that cobbler. - WOMAN: He's got good hands. (CHUCKLES) - (CHORTLES) (DOOR BUZZES) (DOOR SHUTS) - They're prepping the surgery now. - Unless you wanna not... (BREATHES SHAKILY) and say we did. - SOFTLY: I can't. - (SCOFFS) You won't. - I can't. - Wait. You guys are together? - Were. - Silver linings, eh? I don't have to eat out a Lane lackey any more. - There are people out there getting on with life, Alex. There are people out there that are actually happy. We could have been them. - You're blind. - And you're blinkered. You're so focused on all the bad stuff, you miss the good. - I see the truth. - The truth is I... I... - HUSHED: What? - (BREATHES SHAKILY) I was falling in love with you. We made each other happy. - How can I love you if I'm not allowed to hate you? - SOFTLY: Goodbye, Alex. - Bad-bye, Constance. (SOMBRE MUSIC) (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE SLOWLY) * (CUTLERY CLATTERS) - Bobby. (SIGHS) (CHAIR SCRAPES) Bobby. I know you're angry with me right now, but one day you'll see that I did this all for you. - (SCOFFS) - Is that... - What? - No, but look. Is that finished? Because there's so much meat on the bone. - What are you, my mother? - If your mother wasn't a wastrel, then yes. - My mother was a saint. And who says 'wastrel'? It's not even a fucking word. - It absolutely is a word, otherwise why would I use it? - And then, OK, so then she... she just handed him over on her own accord, and now her friends, they're gonna get permed. - (GASPS) Really? - Mm-hm. - LYNLEY: How's he still talking to her? - I don't know, because he didn't even look at me,... - He's not looking at anyone... - ...and most people look at my face. - ...except her. - Hello? I'm empty. - She has, like, this perfect, symmetrical face,... - Yeah. - ...and she really suits her fringe, and I also have` if I do this way, and then that way, it's also the same face. - Oh, and her dress is so sharp. - Mm. Yeah, yeah. - It's my dress. - Oh. (GLASS CLANGS) - I chose it for her. - Really? I... have no memory of you ever wearing that dress. I was gonna say, do you think that I would suit a fringe? - I think I might get a fringe. - You should get a fringe. - Yeah. - Yep. - You should get a fringe. - Yeah. We should all get fringes. - Our guests of honour seem to be getting on so well. But I wonder, Pippi,... (CHAIRS SCRAPE) - ...do you know Bobby slept with your best friend Jaime? - (WHEEZES) - (LAUGHS) - No. No, no, no. They didn't sleep together. (LAUGHS) - 'Slept with'? I came in a cup. - (ALL EXCLAIM, LAUGH) - Ooh! (LAUGHS) Cheers. - Shut up! (CLANG!) The goddesses have showered us with bounty. Pippa-rella here is ripe with lust. - Lane, I-I'm so sorry. I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression. We're not together or anything. - (CHUCKLES) - We're not` - No. No, no, no. I'm so happy for your abundant desire. I want to share it with you ` the foreplay, the flirting, the flaunting. You've gifted us with dinner and show, haven't they? Haven't they, Michelle? - Ye` - (SLAMS TABLE) I love shows. - I love shows. - Miss 'em. - ADA: Same. - Don't you? Can't very well promise a show and then not deliver on it. Can you, Michelle? - No, you ca` - No. - Pippi, my sweet apple pip, embrace your abundance and share it with us. We want you two lovebirds to kiss. - (ALL LAUGH) - We all want you to kiss. It's a special night, so come on. Give us a little kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. - ALL CHANT: Kiss. Kiss. ALL CHANT LOUDER, FASTER: Kiss. Kiss. - Boo! You've gotta do it properly. You've gotta use tongue. (SLAM!) Tongue. (SLAM!) Tongue. (SLAM!) - ALL CHANT: Tongue. Tongue. ALL CHANT LOUDER, FASTER: Tongue. Tongue. - (GRUNTS ANGRILY) - ALL CHANT: Tongue. Tongue. Tongue. - (SCREAMS) - WOMAN: Whoa! Put him down! - Help me hold him. - Fuck off me! - What are you doing? - (YELLS) - (ALL YELL INDISTINCTLY) - Fuck. (SCREAMS) - What are you doing?! - Shut him up. - MUFFLED: Fuck you. - LANE: Shh. (CHUCKLES) - Lane, no! - Oh, come on. You've been teasing us all evening. - (GRUNTS) - (CHUCKLES) - (GRUNTS) (GROANS) - No, don't. (ZIPPER UNZIPS) - Ah... - (GRUNTS) - Oh. We can make him hard for you. - (STRAINS, GRUNTS) - Lucky boy. He wouldn't get hard if he didn't want it. - (GROANS, MOANS) - WHISPERS: Fuck him. - What?! - IMITATES PIP: What? I said,... - (GROANS) - ...fuck him. - MUFFLED: Pip, no! (PANTS, GROANS) - You're drunk. You're all drunk. - This is for you, Pippa-rella. For your optimal self, celebrate your abundance. - (GRUNTS) - Take what you want. - (BREATHES SHAKILY) I don't... I don't... - Either you take what you want, or you don't deserve my gifts, your seat at my table. - SOFTLY: But you said that` Ah! (GASPS SHAKILY) - Fuck him like he wants you to, or I perm your friends. WHISPERS: Do it. - (BREATHES SHAKILY) - (GRUNTS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - (LAUGHS MENACINGLY) - (ALL LAUGH) - Pip. (CHEERS) - ALL CHANT: Pip. Pip. Pip. - MUFFLED: What are you doing?! (CHANTING CONTINUES) (GROANS) (CHANTING FADES) - There's a good girl. (UNEASY MUSIC SWELLS) (CHANTING CONTINUES) - No. (CHANTING STOPS) - No? - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - Go fuck yourself. - What did you say to me? - All this time, I thought you wanted to change the world. But you just wanted to rebuild the old one with you at the top. You're elegant, you're charming. - (GRUNTS) - Your skin game's a 10. But you're also a cliche ` a power-hungry, shrivelled, old bitch. I just don't see your appeal anymore. (SCOFFS) Do you? - Constance. Take Pip to be forever freed with her friends. - GRUNTS: No. - See? See what I mean? - Constance, now. SHOUTS: I mean right now. - (GROANS) - Yes, ma'am. - Perm her right this second with the others and bring 'em all back so I can see! - (GRUNTS) Ow! - WOMAN: I need back-up, I need back-up. - No! Get off me. - (BOBBY GRUNTS, SCREAMS) - Don't take him. Bobby! - Pip! - More wine! Dessert! (THUMPING, GRUNTING) - (BOTH SOB) (TENSE ELECTRONIC MUSIC) - Lane wants you to do this one now. - This isn't Grand fucking Central Station, is it? - I'm terrified, because I don't know how to come back from this. (TYRES SQUEAL) - Shit. (COCKS GUN) - Who has a gun? - Wellness has everything. - You said, 'Rise, friend'. Here I am, your friend! Please! I'm a survivor. WHISPERS: Stupid slide door. (TENSE MUSIC)