Where have you taken us? - This is a Wellness Centre. - LANE: You'll stay here tonight. You are the guest of honour. Robert will be joining us for dinner before I chaperone him to Government House in the morning. - (SCREAMS) - He wouldn't get hard if he didn't want it. - No! - Fuck him. - No. - What did you say to me? - (GRUNTS) Ow! - (YELLS) - More wine! (DRILL WHIRRS) (DOOR OPENS) - We're in the middle of a surgery. - Lane wants you to do this one now. - Well, it doesn't work like that. - Do you want me to bring Lane down here so you can explain it to her? (SQUELCHING) - This isn't Grand fucking Central Station, is it? (OMINOUS MUSIC) (GUN FIRES) (TENSE MUSIC) - Quick, get them up. Go. Go! Wake up. Come on. Come on. Wake up. Come on. Wake up. - Hey! Easy on her. - Ahh! - No, no, no, no! No, no. Leave it. Leave it. Leave it. - (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) (YELPS) - OK, OK. All better now. - Wha`? (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - You're gonna have to bliss me ` make it look like you attacked. - WHISPERS: No. No. - I'll do it. I want to. I can do this. (SOLEMN MUSIC) - Alex. - Yeah? - SOFTLY: I hate you. - I know. (WEAPON FIRES) - (GRUNTS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 - (WOMEN PANT) - (YELPS) - This way! - BREATHLESSLY: Where... are you going? - Away from there. Come on! - Easy for you to say! We don't have shoes or undies, and it's fucking freezing! - (GRUNTS) (MATERIAL RIPS) - What are we supposed to do with that? - Fashion loincloths? - Loincloths... Loincloths?! I don't know if you remember, but two nights ago, I literally had a hole drilled in my brain because of you. My arm is at a dance party I'm not invited to. I don't know how I'm even talking or walking right now! I know we've had our shit in the past, but I would never have done this to you! Never! So,... (GRUNTS) what the fuck do you have to say for yourself? - Seriously, Alex, what could I say that would make it better? - Try me. - I acknowledge that... I... I'm sorry that you feel that I... All Elliott ever did for ET was protect and stand up for him, even when ET embarrassed him and even when their lives were on the line. I'm no Elliott. TEARFULLY: I'm the opposite. I'm a shit friend, and I'm a terrible... whatever it is we are to each other. - Dicks. (POIGNANT MUSIC) - Jamie, I'm sorry. I'm terrified because... I don't know how to come back from this, but I promise I'll spend every waking moment trying to make it up to you. (POIGNANT MUSIC CONTINUES) - Yeah. Nah, that didn't make it better. So, what's your plan? You're full of good ideas, so what's your next one? - Well, Lane has to be stopped. - Solid. - And we have to get Bobby back from her. - Agreed. But first,... fucking undies. (INTRIGUING MUSIC) (BIRDSONG) - OK. Coast is clear. Move out! Now! (GRUNTS) (PANTS) - Chill out, dude. There's no one here. - Bingo. - Thank God. - Any underwear? - Nah, sorry. Still gotta freeze our flaps off. - (SIGHS) Not like we have a choice. (DRAMATIC MUSIC BUILDS) - # It's raining men. # Hallelujah. It's raining men. # Amen. (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) - SINGS ALONG: # I'm gonna go out. I'm gonna let myself get # absolutely soaking wet. - # It's raining men. # Hallelujah. It's raining... # (TYRES SQUEAL) - Shit. (HORN BEEPS) (COW MOOS) - Move it! (TAPS CAR, EXCLAIMS) Shoo! - # God bless Mother Nature... - (SIGHS) Bloody nature. - # She's a single woman too. - (YELPS) - # She took off to heaven # and she did what she had to do. - No, Pip. God, she's pregnant! - # She taught... # - No! (BUZZING, CRACKLING) (MUSIC STOPS PLAYING) - I'm sorry. - Tie her up. Come on. Oh God. Bobby. (GRUNTS) OK. All right. Bobby, come on. Come on, let's go. Bobby. - Pip, what happened to him? Did she perm him? Pip! What's going on? - Guys, we gotta go. Bobby, come on. We gotta get you to safety. - What is going on? - Do we have to do story time right here and now? Cos we can literally walk 20 paces that way and then talk out of sight. Bobby, move your arse! - I'm not going anywhere with her. - Pip, what happened? - Eight years... - Eight... years, I never knew how lucky I had it. I would give anything... to go back in time... so I never had to deal with any one... of you crazy fucking monsters! - (COCKS GUN) Spare me the histrionics, would you? - What the fuck? - Stay back,... or nobody gets him. Stay back,... or nobody gets him. - Who has a gun? - Wellness has everything. Stay back,... all of you. - (PANTS) You'll have to shoot me first. - Two for one. Can do. - (PANTS) - (TUTS) Your baby didn't ask to be sacrificed. - Well, your baby didn't ask for a bitch of a mother. - Yeah. Nice one, Alex. - Thanks. - Don't you test me! You of all people know what happens when you test me. (TENSE MUSIC) - I know what you're thinking ` 'How many bodies does it take to stop a bullet?' - One... thick... skull. And to think I was gonna give you the world on a plate. - I wouldn't want your stupid plate, because everything you cook is shit! (GUNSHOT, SCREAMING) - (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS) - (YELPS) (CHOKES) (ZAPPING) - Alex, Jesus! You're electrocuting Pip too! - (GRUNTS) - (YELPS) - (GROANS) Fucking ow! - Sorry. - Bobby? Bobby! (PANTS) - Oh shit. Someone's coming! Go! Move! Go, go, go, go! (TENSE MUSIC) - (GASPS) Shit. (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - Hey. - WOMAN: Oh my God. Lane! - WOMAN: You stay here, and I'll go get help. - Stay. - Uh, OK. - Now what? - WOMAN: Lane! - Now you take this necklace. - WOMAN: Lane. - Alex, now what? - Lane! - We know where he's going. - WOMAN: Wake up. Wake up. - We've just gotta get there before he does. - (CAR ENGINE STARTS) (TENSE MUSIC) - (GRUNTS) Hello! Hey, it's me! (BARS CLANG) - Hey! - You said, 'Rise, friend.' Well, here I am ` your friend! (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (GROANS) (GRUNTS) Hello! Anybody? Hey, my name is Bobby, and I'm an O'Connor. Please! I'm a survivor. (ELECTRONIC WHIRRING) Please. (SNIFFS) (LOUD CLANK) Please. Please. (DOOR CREAKS) Stupid sliding door. WHISPERS: Hello? Anybody? (KNOCKS) Hello, it's me. Hello? - Bobby! - What?! No! WHISPERS: Go away! This is my safe place. - Why are you whispering? - Shh! Because they will hear you. - Where else are we supposed to go, huh? - Away the fuck from me! - Oh, no, we're in this together. - Bullshit! You don't give a fuck about me ` any of you! All you care about are the plans for yourselves, so keep me out of it and keep` (YELPS) - (WOMEN SCREAM) (WOMEN GASP) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) (LOUD CLANK) - Excuse me,... person with lethal military-grade weapon, was it your intention to just kill the male i-in our group or all of us? - Pip! - What? - I'd be pretty stupid to kill the kind I've sworn to protect. - What? - You, on the other hand... - What? (CLANKING, WOMEN GASP) - We're not safe here. - B-But this is my safe place. - No, it's not. - What? (GAS HISSES) - Gas. They're gassing us. - Who? - What? - Why? - Cover your mouths. Look out. - (COUGHING, SPLUTTERING) (CLANGING) - There's no way out! (COUGHING CONTINUES) - (COUGHS) You,... here. (TENSE MUSIC) - (GRUNTS) - Here. Take this. - MUFFLED: OK. Come on! - You're next. Quick! Help! Come on. - MUFFLED: Come on! - (GRUNTS) (ALL GRUNT, STRAIN) - (COUGHS) - All right. - (YELPS) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) (YELPS) - (GRUNTS, COUGHS) (CONTINUES COUGHING) - Come on. I've got you. - (COUGHS) - Grab my hand! Come on! - You're just like your mum. (COUGHS) You never know when to quit. - What? Who are you? - (COUGHS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) - WAILS: No! WAILS: No! No! Come back! - Alex, come on! It's getting higher! Come on! - No! (DRAMATIC MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (BIRDS SQUAWKING, BONGO DRUMMING) Excuse me, where am I? You're lost in the procrastination place. Yeah, right. That makes sense. MAN: Slap yourself out of it. Whoo! - (GRUNTS, PANTS) - (COUGHS) No! No, we have to go back! - No, Alex. She's gone. Come on! The gas is still coming. - She knows something about my mother! - Go, go, go, go! - Where? - It doesn't matter. Just keep moving. - Ow! You kicked me! - MUFFLED: Good. - Excuse me? - I said... good. - You wanna` You wanna do this now, Bobby? - No, Pip, we're not doing this now. Keep moving! (COUGHS) - You wanna say something to me? - No. I have nothing to say to you. - We can settle this with our fists, if you want. - What? - Isn't that what your kind do when there's a problem? You hit each other. - My kind? - Men! If we were men, wouldn't we just have a good old punch-up? - Pip, can you please talk about this later? - No! If we let bad seeds sit, they fester into landmines. - Just shut the fuck up, Pip, and move! (COUGHING, PANTING) - (GRUNTS) (METAL CREAKS) - Ow! - What now? - What are you doing? - I'm stuck. - What? - What? - I'm stuck! Are you deaf? - Well, suck in! - (GRUNTS, PANTS) I am sucking in! - (COUGHS) Oh God. Fuck. We're so fucked! - I'm gonna die in here! - It's settled, then. When we get out of here, I'll give you one free hit, and then we can move on. GROANS: Oh my God! It doesn't work like that! (METAL CLANGS) YELLS: Fuck that bullshit! - (SCREAMS, PANTS) (TENSE MUSIC) - Hey, guys. Guys! (METAL CLANGS) Help me shake it! Come on, it's our only way out of here! (METAL CLANGS) - Wait, is this a good idea? (ALL SCREAM) (THUD!) (GROANING, SPLUTTERING) (COUGHING, GROANING) - Ow, my back. - (GRUNTS) Shit. (UNEASY MUSIC) - (GRUNTS) (MAN WHIMPERS) - MAN: Please! - MAN: Please help. - What... - ...the actual... - (YELLS) - ...fuck? - (MEN WHIMPER) - MUFFLED: Please help. (SINISTER MUSIC) - WOMAN: Halt! Stop right there! Don't fucking move. - WOMAN: Put your hands where I can see them! - LANE: Stand down. (CHUCKLES) Ah! My three little piggies. Thank you for returning my new acquisition. The guys have been looking forward to a new friend. (MACHINERY PUMPS) - MUFFLED: Please. - But we left you... - ...half-dead, after being bitten and electrocuted... - Brutal. - ...in a brutal, unprovoked, beating. Me in my third trimester... What can I say? I'm a fighter. - You are. - So... So this is where the sperm ballot sperm comes from? - Oh, Goddess, no. No. Dr Garvey and I are stockpiling fresh sperm` - Well, we don't have to... - We're stockpiling fresh sperm` - Why are you telling them? Isn't that counterproductive? - Why are you undermining me? - Sweetie, I'm not. - Don't 'sweetie' me. Anyway, we're gonna dispose of them after. - Are we? - Yes. - Even that one? - Yes. - The one with the gold revolver? - Yes. WHISPERS: Pip, we've gotta get out of here. - We can't. They're everywhere. - I'm sorry. - My bad. - Are we good? - Yeah. May I...? - Absolutely. - As I s` - Can I do the clincher? - Yes. OK. We are stockpiling fresh sperm for when the government supplies of pre-virus sperm run dry. - And once that's happened, we control the population, the country, possibly the world. Carpe futurum. - (BOTH GIGGLE) (MACHINERY HISSES) - WHIMPERS: Please... help. - Any questions? - B-But` - B-B-But what, my bibbity bobbity boo? - T-The Sim card that... - It's a safe place. - If there's one thing male survivalists can't resist, it's a good little puzzle. It makes them feel special. - No. - But don't take my word for it. - No. - Would you like to meet the architect? Actually, I think you might have met them already. (SINISTER MUSIC) - Oh, hey, Jamie. Sis. - Jackson? - No, that's... Thomas? - Oh, sup, Bobby! Babe... - (GIGGLES) - No. - Do the thing. - What thing? - The voice thing. - Oh, no, no, no, no. - Go on. - Do it for me. - OK. (CHUCKLES) DEEPENS VOICE: Rise, friend. Rise. - (SCREAMS) - Hold him back. Get back-up. - Fuck you! Traitor! - Men ` they always do that. - Fucking traitor! No! - (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) - Fuck you! (MUSIC BUILDS) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Captions by Chelsea Brady. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021