- My parents used donor number 14. - What do you want to know? - A name or a picture or just something. (GRAND ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) - I know his occupation, but can I find him amidst 200,000 names? - LAUGHS: I'm absolutely speechless right now. Oh, wow. That's` That's incredible. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 (PENSIVE PIANO MUSIC) - I'm David Lomas. I'm flying into Wellington to start investigating two stories involving children born to donor dads. First, I'm heading to a park in suburban Khandallah to meet Courtney Boderick. She's a 26-year-old stay-at-home mother who is stuck in a legal catch-22, where she's been told she can never know the name of her biological father. So, what's your story? - So, I found out when I was younger that my dad couldn't have children and my parents used a donor through Fertility Associates ` donor number 14. - Number 14? - Yeah. I know that he was a manufacturing jeweller based in Wellington, and that's... about all I know. - So, how can I help you? - When I was 18, I approached Fertility Associates to try and find out who the donor was, and unfortunately, he passed away that year, which meant that any information that they could have given me, they now can't. - So your paternal side is lost for you forever? - Yep. - Courtney had a happy childhood with parents Ray and Maureen Boderick. - I was pretty lucky growing up, being an only child ` very spoiled. (CHUCKLES) Loving parents, big, you know, family ` aunties, uncles, cousins. - It wasn't until Courtney was 10 years old that she was told her father was not her biological dad. - It was actually a documentary show that me and Mum were watching on fertility issues, and obviously that sparked some curious questions from me of, you know, 'Why can some people not have children?' And that was when Mum decided that, 'Yeah, I think now's a good time to tell you about your story.' - And how did you feel about that? - I was surprised, and I think... I recall the first thing I said was, 'Does Grandma know? 'You know, does Pop know? Like, does everybody know?' (CHUCKLES) So, it was very open knowledge in the family, but of course, I was the last one to the party. (CHUCKLES) - Did you talk to your dad about it? - Dad wasn't worried, as far as he was concerned, whether he was the person who made me or not. It made no difference to him. He still loved me the same. He still treated me the same. - Sadly, your dad's passed. What happened? - Um, we found out when I was about 16 that my dad had dementia. That was a devastating blow ` not only for my dad, but for me and mum as well, and, you know, our family, and it changed things a lot. (BIRDS CAW) - When did you start really looking for your biological father? - I think it was around the time that we found out my dad had dementia. It kind of piqued that interest for me of, you know, wanting to know where I'd come from and what made me who I was. - New Zealand's strict rules around donor anonymity meant Courtney had to wait until she was 18 before she could ask Fertility Associates the name of her donor dad. - The process was that you had to go in and speak to one of their counselors, which I was more than happy to do. So she was going to start tracking down my birth father. - But, in a cruel twist, Courtney was told she was too late. - The good news was that she had located the donor, which was great, you know? But unfortunately, it was where she'd found his name that was the bad news, and that was the death notices in the Dominion Post. (SOMBRE MUSIC RESONATES) - And that is where Courtney was caught in the legal catch-22, because a dead donor cannot give his consent. - I remember saying to her, 'Well, what does that mean now?' And she said, 'Well, although we have the details that you're looking for, we can't provide them to you.' I was gutted. Really gutted. Surely that can't just be it. I'm going to have to now live the rest of my life not knowing where I've come from. Life's too short, and you never know what's going to happen, and, you know, I've wondered for so long, and it's like, 'If I don't do something now, if I don't, you know, try anything, it's...' Yeah. - What do you want to know? - Even if it's just a name or a picture or just` just something, anything is more than what I've got now. Cos I essentially have nothing ` no` no clue at all. - With the legal doors slammed shut, I need to come up with another way to identify Courtney's donor dad. (STRING MUSIC FADES) - Meanwhile, I drive north to Whanganui to meet a man who has the opposite problem to Courtney. He's a donor dad who cannot be told the name of his children. 67-year-old piano tuner and brass band musician Allan McDonnell is searching for the children he's never known. So what's your story? - Back in the 1980s, I was a sperm donor in Auckland, and I fathered six children, and I know nothing about them. - And how can I help you? - Back in those days, there was a confidentiality agreement which meant there was no contact either way, but I would love to find them. - Allan and his first wife, Sandra, adopted two children in the early 1980s. Soon after, as New Zealand's artificial insemination program developed, Allan also became a sperm donor. - The problem of the time was a lack of sperm donors. Because of the HIV contamination, they couldn't use fresh sperm anymore, so, overnight, there was no sperm donors. And all the people we spoke to said, 'You need to be a sperm donor, you need to be a sperm donor.' And I said, 'Well, I can do this.' It happened. I had six successful pregnancies. In record time, I filled my quota ` there are quotas. - While Allan was notified every time a child was born, under the strict rules back then, Allan had agreed he would never know the child's name and the child would not know his. But in 1987, the law changed, but that change only allowed children the right to seek the donor's details. Three decades passed. Allan remarried. He continued his successful career as a piano tuner and brass band player, and he went on to become drum major of the Royal New Zealand Air Force band. But after losing his parents and one of his brothers, Allan realised time was running out to find his donor children. - It came to me that I'm getting old, and I don't want to be 100 when someone wants to contact me. That's no good. - However, because all the children Allan fathered by sperm donation were conceived before the 1987 law change, the only way he can meet with those children is if they seek to find him, and that's why he's seeking my help. - I need to do this now so that they could be part of my life and my family, cos it's a big family ` huge family. (PENSIVE GUITAR MUSIC) - But Allan suspects his effort may be in vain because the legal biological parents of a donor child are the mother and her partner. - If they haven't been told by their parents that they're IVF children, that's the end of the line. I don't know. - You have the children you raised. Why do you now want to know about the donor children? - I'm curious to know what they look like because I have no progeny of my own. I want to know if they have the McDonnell ski ramp nose. More importantly, I want to know if they are musical, and wouldn't it be great if they played in a brass band. Who knows? I'm coming to you for help because I just need now to meet these sperm donor conceptions. - Coming up, while the law is not on my side to help Allan or Courtney, I've had a breakthrough that I'm hoping will give Courtney an answer. # Take it to the top, I'm gonna... # (DRAMATIC STRING MUSIC) - (CHILD LAUGHS) - Wheeee! - Wellington mother Courtney Boderick has three children ` - Is it funny? - 7-year-old Caleb, 4-year-old Cruz, and 2-year-old Carter. As her own family grows, Courtney is desperate to learn the truth about the sperm donor who fathered her. But she's been told because the donor has died, she cannot legally be given his name. Back at the office in Auckland, I've been rereading Courtney's file, and there are two key pieces of information that stand out. The first is Courtney's donor dad's usual occupation ` manufacturing jeweller. I believe that this little detail is the way I can get around the legal block that stops Fertility Associates providing Courtney with her biological father's name. I head to the Auckland Public Library, to the Wellington electoral rolls for the 1980s and 1990s. There are 10 electorates to search,... 100-plus pages per electorate, and 200 names per page. That's more than 200,000 names I need to search for each three-year election cycle. I'm looking for all people who call themselves manufacturing jewellers. It's a massive, time-consuming task. In the 1984 rolls, I find 21 manufacturing jewellers. Hopefully one of them is Courtney's dad. The second key piece of information I noted from Courtney's file was that she was told by Fertility Associates that her donor dad died in the same year Courtney approached them to get his name ` 2012. Now, armed with the names from the 1984 rolls, I head back to the office to put my theory to the test. I log in to Memory Tree, a site that collates newspaper death notices, and work my way through the 21 names to see if any of them died in 2012. Incredibly, I find that just one of the 21 died that year. His name ` Vernon Avery. (SUSPICIOUS MUSIC) This is a massive discovery because Vernon Avery could very likely be Courtney's dad. The death notice gives me Vernon's brothers, Warwick and Murray. I need to contact them to see if they know if Vernon was a sperm donor. While I've made a potential major breakthrough in Courtney's sperm donor mystery, in Whanganui, I'm struggling to get answers in my other case ` musician Allan McDonnell,... - (BLOWS TUNE) - ...with the support of his second wife, Kathy, and his adopted children, wants to find the six children he fathered when he was a sperm donor in the early 1980s. - There's six McDonnell siblings, and I've got six offspring out there somewhere. - Yes. I wonder if they look like you or your siblings. Yeah, there's a very strong McDonnell resemblance, isn't there, with everyone? - The noses. - Yeah. - The noses. The ski ramp noses. And Ricky's the worst. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - But I forgive him. - Yeah. It's going to be interesting to see... if we can find them. - We can find them. - Yeah. - Donors back then signed up knowing they would never be told anything other than the number and sex of the children they fathered. With Allan's permission, I've contacted Fertility Associates ` the company Allan gave his donation to. They've told me that, while the 1987 law change gave children like Courtney the right to apply for her father's name, donors such as Allan are still totally blocked from being able to find the names of the children they fathered. So that means Allan's only chance of identifying any donor children is through DNA. These days, with more than 27 million people worldwide having done DNA tests, many secrets are being revealed. In New Zealand, about 250,000 people, or roughly 5% of the population, have tested. That means DNA tests can now link to about 50% of the population. I've had Allan do a test, and I've sent it for analysis. - Good morning. - Morning. - 'Today, I'm meeting DNA expert Gail Wilson-Waring to see if she has found any matches.' - Well, it's not good news for Allan, I'm afraid. - Oh, that's no good. - There's no evidence of children or even grandchildren. - Oh. Damn. - So, I've done a little chart to help explain. If there was a child or a grandchild, they'd show up in this area here. Allan does have two close matches, which are showing in green, but that's his sister and his nephew in the US. So there's absolutely no evidence of children. - So none of the children Allan was the donor father for has done a DNA test? - That's right. There is nothing there. But he's tested now, and, uh, maybe in the future. - Oh, it's a bit disappointing, but, um, I'll go down and see Allan and let him know what we've found. - Can I take this down to show him? - Yes. yes. Yeah, please do. - 'It's not the result I was hoping for.' Oh, well, thank you. 'It's news I need to tell Allan, 'but it's hard to tell a man that he may never find out who his children are. 'But I'm hoping for better luck for Courtney. 'I make contact with a potential relative.' - He was a mummy's boy. He even looked like his mum. - Is he the right man? I was the first hapu mama in Jet Park. We spent 34 days in isolation. I couldn't breathe well on my own. I ended up contracting COVID pneumonia. I was the first hapu mama in Jet Park. It was really terrifying for us. I don't want other whanau to have to go through what I've been through. If there's a way that that can be prevented, I would 100% take it. - Protecting whanau is what we do. Karawhiua. Because it's now in three sizes, starting from an unbelievable $3.99. All our favourite Value Range recipes now from just $3.99. Domino's all new Value Range. Bring it in. (TENSE SYNTHESISER MUSIC) Wellington mother Courtney Boderick has been informed she cannot legally be told the name of her sperm donor father. But through a series of electoral roll and death notice searches, I believe he's Vernon Avery ` a Wellington man who died in 2012. I've found an address for Vernon's brother, Warwick, on the Kapiti Coast, but no phone number. So I fly to Wellington, then drive to Paraparaumu, hoping to find Warwick at his home. - (INTERCOM BUZZES) - Hello? - Hello, it's David Lomas here. I'm trying to get hold of Warwick Avery. - I'm sorry. Um... - 'Warwick's partner answers, but she has bad news. - He's actually in the hospital. - 'Warwick is seriously ill in hospital.' Oh, crikey. 'So I won't be able to talk to him at this stage.' It's just I'm trying to find him on a family matter. Is, um,... Is there a number I could call on? OK. Just one sec. 'But I'm given a number for Warwick's daughter, Leslie.' All right. Well, look, thank you so much, and I hope Warwick gets well. - Thank you. - OK. (SIGHS) Hmm. (GENTLE GUITAR MUSIC) Back in Wellington that evening, I phone Leslie. (DIAL TONE BEEPS) - LESLIE: Hello, Leslie speaking. - Hello, Leslie. David Lomas here. 'I tell her I'm helping a woman to find her father and ask if her uncle was a sperm donor.' - Yes, Uncle Vernon was a very proud donor. - 'I now know I have the right name of Courtney's donor dad, 'but talking to his brother, Warwick, is a problem.' - Unfortunately, Dad's really unwell at the moment. - 'Leslie tells me she will visit her father in the morning to tell him about Courtney.' And I hope things are all right tonight. - OK. Thank you. - Thank you. Bye-bye. (WAVES LAP, BIRDS CAW) (PENSIVE MUSIC) Late the next day, I return to Paraparaumu to meet Leslie. I'm David. - Hi, David. I'm Leslie. - Thank you for meeting me. It's a tough time for you at the moment. - Yes. Yeah. Very tough. Very tough. - Your dad ` how bad is it? - Pretty bad. Pretty bad. He, um, has cancer in the neck and the shoulder, and it's very aggressive. - So what's his prognosis? - Not good. In front of Dad, they said two months to six months. Away from Dad, I was told two weeks. - It's terrible timing, but do you think he's OK to meet Courtney? - Yes. He would love to meet her. I think that's what he's holding on for. - Yeah. - His aim is to hopefully meet this young girl. It's very exciting that his little brother, who's never married and had children, actually has a child ` quite a few. (LAUGHS) - Your Uncle Vern, Courtney's dad ` what was he like? (CHUCKLES) He was a mummy's boy. He even looked like his mum ` her little man. - Little quirky. He was a jeweller for many, many years. - Yeah. - He lived at home until he was in his 30s. His father actually kicked him out. - But he's had eight children by being a sperm donor. - Yeah. - But he never had children hims` - Never married, never had children of his own. - So, he went out with women, but never` - Yeah. Yeah. Met some real doozies too. (LAUGHS) Oh, God, there's a couple of them that hung around, but they eventually left. But no, he just` I think he just` He was very quirky in his house. He used to brush the fringe of the carpet. If anyone walked in and messed it up, he'd sit there, brushing it. Any cans of Coke or drinks, he'd actually wash them, squash them, and wrap them up and put them in the bin. (LAUGHS) - Did he ever talk about his sperm donor children? - Not to me, no. I'd say he did to his brothers, because his brothers knew about it. But when he got sick, he went to the Fertility Association just to find out how they were, who they were, but they wouldn't say much. They just said there's eight healthy children, and he's helped eight lovely women. (CHUCKLES) - And he was keen to find the children he had fathered? - Yes. Yeah, when he found out he had cancer ` he also had an aggressive cancer. I think it was the prostate and his kidney, and he went downhill pretty fast. - So, if we keep in touch, as soon as your dad's out of hospital and OK for visitors, would it be all right if I got Courtney up here? - That would be wonderful. He'd love to meet her. - 'I'll have to wait a few days to see if Warwick will be well enough to meet Courtney.' While I've been able to find Courtney's relatives through electoral rolls and a death notice, my hope of finding the donor children fathered by Allan McDonnell has all but ended after a disappointing DNA result. I head back to Whanganui to break the news to Allan. (BAND PLAY LIVELY TUNE) It's Thursday, so Allan and his wife, Kathy, are rehearsing with the local band, Brass Whanganui. But Allan's dream of one day starting his own brass band with his donor children may have to wait. (TUNE CONTINUES SOFTLY) (BIRDS TWITTER) Hello. Well, working on your behalf, we contacted Fertility Associates, and we have a response from them. And if you were just to have a look at this, you'll see here that they state that you have no rights to try and find the child; only the child has a right to try and find you. - I understand that. - They say that none of the children you fathered have approached them to try and find you, so, essentially, they can't help you. - Mm. I understand that that's the law. I'd be happy with a picture, actually. (BOTH CHUCKLE) - You also... gave us a DNA sample, and I have a result from that as well. Unfortunately, that too has come back without any great results. You'll see` This is a simplified chart, just to explain what happened. It shows that you had no half-siblings, so that means you know your father behaved himself in that sense. - (LAUGHS) I can vouch for that too. - Yeah. But one of your siblings ` I won't identify the one ` has done a DNA test, and so has one of their children. That's the green line there. But when it comes to you, no child of yours has done a DNA test and no child of that child has done the DNA test, so none of your potential grandchildren have done one. - Right. - So, sadly, you sit in a no-man's land. - (CHUCKLES WRYLY) - Mm. That's disappointing. Eh, that's the law. Yeah. - So, I'm very sorry to say we just can't help you on this one at all. - Worth a try. - One day. One day. - Well, now, your DNA is out there. With this program, your story will be out there and perhaps someone will see it and make the connection. - Maybe one day. - Maybe. Yeah. - Yeah. - One day, it will happen. - Mm. - It will happen. - Yeah. - You did your best. Thank you very much. - Cheers. 'While it's a disappointing result for Allan,... 'I've got better news for Courtney.' - CHUCKLES: I'm absolutely speechless right now. That's incredible. (CHILDREN AND ADULTS SING) # Heads, shoulders, knees and toes # Heart, liver, skin and bones... # Argh! # Strains on joints and eyes on phones # Your body is the only one you'll own... # GIRL: Look after your body every day. Jenny Craig works. I've lost 15kg and feel great. Flexible delivery options available with Jenny Craig. (SOMBRE PIANO MUSIC) - I'm in Wellington, where mother of three Courtney Boderick believed she would never be able to find the identity of her sperm donor father. I've got some good news and some bad news for Courtney, so I'm heading to her home in Wellington's northern suburbs. (KNOCKS ON DOOR) - (CARTER COOS) - Ooh! Hello. - (CHUCKLES) Hi. Come on in. - Hello, Carter. Nice to see you again. - Hi. We'll just pop this one off to bed and we can take a seat. - (CHUCKLES) OK. Well, it's been a chaotic last five or six days, but I actually have some news for you. But just going back, I mean, when you applied to Fertility Associates to try and find out who your biological father was, what did they actually tell you about him? - Um, basically, they handed me this piece of paper. This lovely two-page document was all that they could provide me and that they would try and track him down to, you know, get his consent to pass on a letter. - And that was too late. - Yeah. - So what do you know about him? - Um, it's basically just a very generic list of details, you know, about the donor. There's nothing in there that identifies much, really. - So, on that document somewhere, he describes himself. Can you just tell me what it says? - Um, it states, 'How would you describe yourself? 'Placid, opinionated, loving, introverted, and talkative.' - Anything of you in that? - Yeah. 100% to a T. (LAUGHS) (WARM PIANO MUSIC) - Also on there, it mentions his occupation. What does that say? - It lists his occupation as a manufacturing jeweller. - Well, using that occupation, I've been doing some research and I've gone through all the electoral rolls for the Wellington area at the time you were born, looking for manufacturing jewellers. And with the date by which you were able to tell us roughly when he died, which was around the time you applied for your information about your father. - Yep. - And... I was able to work out who your biological father was. (INSPIRING PIANO MUSIC) And if you were just to have a look at this ` that's his death notice, which I found. So that's who he is and his name. (POIGNANT PIANO MUSIC) - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SNIFFS) (SIGHS SHAKILY) SOFTLY: Oh my goodness. (SNIFFS) That's amazing. (PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES) - So now, you know your dad was Vern Avery. - Cool. - I was also able to track down a photograph of your dad, and, um,... this is what he looks like. - Oh, wow. That's` (CHUCKLES) That's incredible. - Do you see any family resemblance in the photo? - Yeah, there are definitely some similarities coming through. Wow. CHUCKLES: I am absolutely speechless right now. That's incredible. - Now, as I said, the last five or six days have been really hectic and sort of stressful in a way, because I tracked down your uncle Warwick. - Yep. - And went and knocked on the door because we couldn't find a phone number for him. And his partner was there. She was very distressed because Warwick had just been admitted to hospital. - Oh, wow. - He was very ill in hospital. He was in quite a lot of pain, but his partner, Debs, told him you were looking, and his daughter Leslie also was told, and, um, Warwick said to them that, you know, it was amazing, and that it was great. He would really love to meet you. And when I met his daughter, she said... he's basically said he's staying alive to meet you. Because his brother, your father Vern had always spoken about the donor children he had fathered and they'd always wanted to meet them. - Wow. - But, sadly, he died two days ago. (POIGNANT PIANO MUSIC) - CHUCKLES: This is a lot to digest. (SIGHS) - But his daughter, Leslie, would absolutely love to tell you about your biological father, about Vernon. - That would be awesome. I'm tickled pink right now. (LAUGHS) - And your other uncle, Murray, would also like to meet you. - That's so cool. So this` these are your uncles ` your Uncle Warwick, who's just died. That's your Uncle Murray, and that's your birth father. - Oh, this is so cool. (CHUCKLES) I'm genuinely lost for words right now. (SIGHS) It's amazing. Absolutely amazing. - So, would you be happy to meet Leslie? - Absolutely. Absolutely. She also has a much more recent photograph that she would like to show you. - I'd love to see that. That'd be so cool. It's incredible. It really is. (SWELLING STRING MUSIC) - I'm in Wellington, heading to Lower Hutt to meet Courtney Boderick, where I'll introduce her to her newly-found cousin ` her donor father Vern's niece ` Leslie. - Morning. - Morning. - How'd you get on last night? - Good. Couple of wines, and let it all sink in. - Yeah. And you're all right now? - Yeah. - Yep. OK. Because it's, uh, another big one for you today. You're going to go and` Come down here. You're going to go and meet your uncle's daughter, Leslie, and she will be able to tell you a lot about your dad. It's also, of course, quite a big day for her, - because she's still grieving her dad who's, you know, just died. - Yeah. - Anyway, here they are. They're all sitting out here, waiting for us. I've told them that you weren't far away. - Leslie. - (LAUGHS) Hello! - Hi. - Gosh, you look like my niece. (CHUCKLES) Oh. - Thank you so much for meeting me. - That's all right! - (CHUCKLES) - Amazed. Amazed at what we've been learning in the past two weeks. I got to take my glasses off so you can see better. - I can't see you, though, because they're prescription ones. - Yeah. No, I'm the same. (LAUGHS) - Oh! More in common. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) - Oh, wow, darling. And you've got children? - I do. I have three boys. Yeah, three little boys. - I got three boys and one girl. ` Yes. (CHUCKLES) - Come and meet the kids. Come meet your cousins. - Hi! - This is Liani. - Hi. - Hi, nice to meet you. - Courtney. Hey. - And this is Thomas. - Hey. - Hi. Nice to meet you. - Or Tom-Tom, however you want to call him. (CHUCKLES) And I've got two others, but one's at work and one's hopefully at school. - (LAUGHS) - He should be. Oh, wow. It's so good to see you, darling. - Sorry about what's happened. - Yeah. (LAUGHS) - Dad tried to hang on. He really, really wanted to meet you. Every time he said it, he smiled. - I'm so sorry for your loss. It's` - I'm sorry for you too. - (LAUGHS) It's been a hectic time. Yeah. I'd wondered for so long, and now I have some answers. - So, David's just told you sort of in the past couple of days of Uncle Vernon? - Yeah. - He showed you a baby photo? - Yeah. - Would you like to see another photo? - Absolutely. - Go inside and I'll show you a photo of your dad. - Thank you so much, David. - All right. I'm gonna leave you to it. - OK. - Cool. Thank you. - Thanks, David. (CHUCKLES) So what do you know about your dad? - So, that. That there is all I know, and that one there. - Oh, wow. - So that's from the clinic. - Yep. Yep. So that's all I've had since I was 18. - Well, I tell you what, I know what it feels like, cos I was actually adopted, and I sort of went through the same thing. Well, your dad ` he was lovely. He really was. He was a bit eccentric and a bit of a loner because he's never married or had children. - Yep. - He's a quirky man. He's so funny. - He always had, like, Where's Wally socks with shorts. - (CHUCKLES) - He'd walk into a pub like that. He'd have a nice dress shirt, - but he'd have his shorts on and his Where's Wally socks. - Oh, that's brilliant. (CHUCKLES) - We used to go to the Petone Working Men's Club, and I'd see him turn up with a lady. - (CHUCKLES) - And we'd see him the next week, he'd turn up with another lady. So, yeah. And then on the dancefloor one night, - had about four women all wanting to dance with him. - (LAUGHS) - So, yeah. And I'm sorry, but he had a potty mouth. (CHUCKLES) A real pot` you don't, do you? - I do, yeah. I swear like a sailor. (CHUCKLES) - Oh, yeah, they're smiling. - (LAUGHS) - I always tell them off when they swear. But, yeah. No, he was a neat little guy. He was only my height, actually. - Oh, wow. - (LAUGHS) That, I did like. - (LAUGHS) - Well, I have a photo here. (POIGNANT STRING MUSIC) There's three of them, sorry. One of them's my dad, which is your uncle, then there's another uncle, and then there's your dad. Do you want to have a think about what one it could be? He's got facial hair. So, there. I'll let you eliminate out of three. - I want to say the one on the left. - Yeah? - Yeah? - That's your dad. You got it. - Yep. (CHUCKLES) - You got it. In fact, you've got the smile like him too. - Yeah? - That's Uncle Vernon. - Wow. - Do you see any resemblance there? - I do. - Yeah. You're definitely an Avery. (CHUCKLES) - Oh, wow. - That's my one. (LAUGHS) - Oh. Nah, that's really cool. - There's one other person for Courtney to meet, and that's the man in the middle of the photograph ` her last surviving uncle, Murray. (PENSIVE PERCUSSIVE MUSIC) I fly to Tauranga to meet Murray. He lives in a retirement village with his partner, Liz. Tell me about Vern. What was he like? - He was an affable sort of a guy, friendly to people that he knew. He made friends quite easily, I believe, especially on the female side. - So he had relationships with women? - One woman. One only for 10 years, and the others were just, um,... on his arm, and he would go and visit them. They always remained friends. - But just no children. - No. And when he got a bit older, he realised that he was middle-aged, coming up 50-ish, he rang me and he spoke to me about becoming a sperm donor. What did I think of it? I said, 'Well, look, Vern, it's your last chance to do something, really, for other people.' And he did. Then, when he got a little bit on, he hadn't heard anything and he rang them up to see if he had any success with his sperm donations, and he wanted to find more. They said, 'Yes, you've had eight successful ones.' - So he was quite proud of the children? - He was elated, and he tried to find out more, and, you know, they said, 'No, they're all young children, all very well-adjusted. They have a happy home life.' And that's all they would tell him. And he said, 'Well, where do they live?' 'No, we can't tell you.' 'Can you send me photos of them please? I'd love some photos.' 'No, we can't send you any photos.' So he got a bit depressed, and he said to me, 'I hope I can live long enough that someone may come knocking on my door, trying to find me.' And he said, 'For God's sake,' he said, 'if you're here and I'm not,' he said, 'I hope they'll come knocking on your door, Murray, 'because we're` you know, you're the last port of call.' (SHIP HORN BLARES DISTANTLY) - Tropical North, eh? - Yeah. 'I arranged for Courtney to meet Murray as soon as possible.' Well, Murray lives just in here, so we're just gonna wander in, and he's waiting for us. Uh, you met Leslie, but this is your first actual blood relative on your dad's side. - Yep. - How are you feeling about that? - Um, nervous, excited. (CHUCKLES) - So he's just sitting around the corner there with his wife, Liz. I'll let you go around and say hello, and he's going to tell you all about your biological dad. - Cool. - Good luck. - Thank you. - Cheers. (POIGNANT PIANO MUSIC) - Hi, look at that. - Hi! - Look at Courtney. - (CHUCKLES) Hi. - Oh, lovely. (LAUGHS) - You really have. - Aw. - This is brilliant. 82 years, I've waited for a real niece. - Hi. (LAUGHS) - Look what I've found. Oh, I couldn't have wished for a better end to my year. - It's so pleasing for us. I guess it is for you too. - Absolutely. - You know? Look at ya! - Yep. (CHUCKLES) - Yeah. - Yeah. You're really great. - Can I see Vern in you? - I don't know, can you? - I think I might when you see some photos. - (LAUGHS) I hope so. - Yeah. - So exciting. - Yeah. This is Liz over here. - Hi. - Hello, Courtney. Pleased to meet you. - You too. - Nice to have another girl in the family. (CHUCKLES) (SOFT PIANO MUSIC) - Been a long time, hasn't it? - Yeah. - (BOTH CHUCKLE) - A lot of years of wondering. - Well worth waiting for. - Absolutely. - Now, I've got lots of photos inside, so you can have a look and I can take you through the years. - Oh, that would be so cool. - Come in. Go through, Courtney. Yeah. - Cool. Thank you. Oh, this is so exciting. - So, here we are. - SOFTLY: Oh my goodness. - That's Mum and Vern on the back lawn of Kiwi Street. And that's Vern. By the look of him, he's in his cot, about to throw his toys out. - (CHUCKLES) - Gosh, you are like him. Look. - That'd be a young school boy. Yeah. Yes, she's definitely is an Avery. She's chatty, she's sociable. She's` Yeah, she's just a very nice lady. - That's basically how he dressed for his work as a jeweller. - Yep. - Always had shirt and tie on. That's with one of his many, many lady friends. - I've heard he was quite the little hit with ladies. - (LAUGHS) - Oh, he had so many. - Very much so. - Vern would have been very, very happy. He would have been beaming from ear to ear. - So getting married and settling down wasn't part of his agenda? Or... - For some reason, he could never, ever bring himself to ask for the hand in marriage. I don't know why. And when he turned 50, he rang me up and he said, 'I would like to become a sperm donor, because,' he said, 'at least I've might have someone that I can see later on.' He said, 'I might meet them.' Much later, when he knew he was not well, he said, 'Brother,' he said, 'you're it.' And he wanted someone to find me. - Ta-da! - And you have! And you have. - Ticked the box. - That is absolutely amazing. (INSPIRING PIANO MUSIC) - I know. The morning's turned out nice, actually. It's not all clagged in. - Courtney spends the next day with Murray and Liz. And while her search for her donor father has been bittersweet, at least now she has some answers. - I know who he was. I know where I come from and who I come from, and it's... it completes me as a person. - And she even has something made by her father Vern to remember him by. - This was actually something that, um, my uncle gave me yesterday. So, it was handcrafted by Vern, and it was something that he wore himself. So it's a little piece of him that I can take with me where I go. - And the future? I feel like I've got a really strong connection with the Avery side of who I am, and I see a lifelong connection with them and getting to know them more. I see a lot of good things coming from that. - Courtney has kept in touch with Murray and Liz and Leslie and her family, and has since met more of her donor father Vern's relatives. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) Do you have a family mystery? - Can I give you a hug? - Of course you can! - You've joined a big family, haven't you? (LAUGHS) - Aw, darling. - I'm filming a new series. If you want my help, go to... Captions by Cameron Grigg. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.