- I was married at 17, and by the time I was 23, I was separated from my husband. I felt I had let my family down and brought shame on them. I am Mandeep Kaur. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2021 The shame of being divorced, living in that society, you know... I lived in a very small space, ate bread and ketchup. I was literally sleeping three to four hours. So desperate to make a living, so desperate to do something for your kids. You know? (TAPE REWINDS) As a girl growing up, I always felt I was not as valued as if I had been a boy. I was born in a small rural village in north of India after four years of my mum and dad's marriage. I'm the oldest child. My late mum, she always felt incomplete in a manner that she was unable to provide the son. You know, one, she's late to conceive the child, and, two, now she's got a daughter. You know? So I grew up with that feeling, knowing that, you know, I'm not the son. I was 6 months old when my father moved to Chandigarh. It's quite a modern city, the first planned city in India. From the time when I started to understand the language, other ladies talking, 'Why couldn't God give them a son?' You know, it was like, always as a 'more' sort of a thing. It just always makes you feel like... I'm not the one who is (CHUCKLES) wanted. Sometimes when I was young, little, growing up, I used to dress up like boys. My auntie's sons who were a little bit older, they will say, 'You can wear my outfits, and we will say that`' My nickname is Rita, so say, 'Rita's brother has come.' You know? 'So we will`' And I will be so happy to dress up in a boy's dress, (LAUGHS) you know, and feel really good that I am Rita's brother. You know? (LAUGHS) I am taller than the normal Indian girl, so how my mum used to see me that, you know, 'If you were a boy, you could have gone to the army, you could have gone to the Navy, 'you could have become a police officer.' You know, so she saw that son in me. Mum also wanted a son in some ways, but she was still giving that love and affection, whereas with Dad, he always kind of was very staunch and kind of made me feel like I had to prove myself. You know, I can be as good as a son could be. I carried this burden for a big part of my life. It wasn't the best marriage. Mum always felt threatened that my dad can leave her, remarry somewhere to have the son, you know, so she always was under that fear. My dad enjoyed drinking, you know, something which he loved throughout his life. I have always seen him under the influence when he came home. It wasn't something I have good memories about. Because I come from a very conservative family, when you are growing up, you know, your puberty, period has started. You make sure you cover yourself with the scarf. You don't expose your chest. You don't do make-up. There was a boy. He followed me from when I was studying, and he was circling on the scooter, and I peeped through the curtain just to see who this is. My father noticed that I was watching someone, and he saw that it was a guy. So he gave me hiding. (SMACK! GIRL SQUEALS, MAN SHOUTS) I never dared after that. This was very much cleared in my mind that it's not my decision who I get married to. I was around 16 years of age when this lady came and she asked my mum. She said, 'Oh, there was a proposal for Mandeep. Someone wants to marry her with their son.' My mum said, 'No, no, no, she's too young.' You know? My dad knew the family, and it was very well off family, very well-to-do family. So my father was like, 'Oh wow, that family has come to ask for our daughter's hand.' You know? Yeah, my parents knew that he's 10 years older than me, but they felt like, he's the only son; there's a lot of property. Sisters are married, and they have a nice house in Chandigarh, so that was very precious proposal for my parents to accept. (VOCALISING) (GENTLE SITAR MUSIC) 30th of November 1986 was the date when I got married. I was 17. I had a veil on my eyes, so I didn't see my husband. I had seen his photograph, but I didn't see him eye to eye or anything. I sort of saw him after getting married. You know, that's when I first get to talk to him. Being the only son of a very rich family, my husband was a little bit... a brat, didn't worry about making his living in any manner because they were well-to-do, but that didn't give any financial freedom for us. My mother-in-law had control over things, you know, so even I had to ask for soap to be given to me if it has run out. You know, it wasn't something where I could just go in the pantry and pick it up. It didn't feel like you are included in the family. You are supposed to be doing the house chores. Nobody else has to go through any physical exertion, you know, washing and all the household stuff which your parents train you for. You know? You know, that's part of the life. - Once you're married off into the family, you belong to that family. Your every action then starts to impact on two sides of the family, and it becomes your responsibility to look after that family and to make sure that you do not do anything that will bring shame. - You're always on your guard. My husband, he enjoyed drinking just like my dad. So it was very heartbreaking in that way. And then I couldn't have talked to my husband when he... because he was always drunk. You know? So when he came home, he was intoxicated. Then my duty starts as a wife as well, making sure that he's been fed with a hot meal, no matter what time of the night he has come. It was my responsibility that he's been fed with warm food. It was a lonely sort of atmosphere in that family. Not only there was a control over financial side of things or psychological side of things but also some safety concerns as well. My father-in-law, there were certain things which... he expected me to promise... within my dignity. Made me really feel very unsafe. Family came to know I was accused of not telling the truth, and I was made to either apologise or 'You can't live in that household.' God knows what they had discussed, but they encouraged him to take me to village. My daughter was around 11 months old when we went to live with my husband in the village, cooking food on the fire, having the water by pumping the hand pump, and then washing clothes and washing dishes, picking up the cotton in the farms. You know? Having lived all my life in the city, it was quite adventurous in that way. Those years with the hardest years (CHUCKLES) physically, but the happiest is as well. Me and my husband, we were able to talk more. Came to know him a little bit better and during that time, but my husband started to brew his own alcohol at home, and I remember one day he had this big 20-litre drum to put on the fire for distilling, so brewing, and I was pregnant with my second child. And so I was really quite angry of his life around drinking, and that's all he was doing. So I had pushed that big drum, and it just fell off, and... I made him so... quite angry, (CHUCKLES) and that was the first and only time he had hit me quite a bit. Wasn't safe, so I took my both kids with me. We went back to my parents' house. - To leave your husband in those days was a social disgrace. It was a family disgrace. And somebody has to be really, really brave and say, 'Enough is enough. I'm not going to take this any more.' - My father wasn't very welcoming at that time, that now I have come with the two kids and myself. - I was married at 17, and by the time I was 23, I was separated from my husband. So I came back to my parents. They took my children and me. I felt I had let my family down and brought shame on them. I knew financial independence was very important. I needed to provide the best for my kids. One day I was washing the clothes outside. My dad and my neighbour, Uncle` Sharma Uncle, we used to say, was very proud to tell about his son Vicky. 'My son Vicky has sent us 60,000 rupees since he's gone to Australia.' When I heard that, I spoke to my mum. I said, 'Mum, Vicky's dad was telling that he said, 60000 rupees.' 'I can go, and... I'm older than him. I'll go, and I'll work hard, and I'll send some money for, you know` 'We can have a better life.' And my mum was saying, 'Don't even talk about it.' You know, this is not something which your dad will ever support, but the seed has sowed in my mind. (VOCALISING) I convinced my mum, 'Let's make a passport, and then see if we get visa.' That came, passport was made. Then, 'Let's apply for the visa.' And then visa came. (CHUCKLES) I don't know what the conversation was between Mum and Dad. It was just a relief. He's allowed for me to go. Mum and I, we have done all the packing ` turmeric, red chilli. Doing these things secretly, so kids can't find out that Mum is planning to leave. You know? I remember clearly the day when I left my children. My father had taken my kids to buy them Kit Kat, and that... and they were so excited. (GENTLE MUSIC) - I think maybe the only thing that sort of comes back is we did hug her when we were going to the shop, and were like, 'Let us go. We're just going to get some chocolate.' And when we went and came back,... we got told that she's gone to her auntie's village for a few days. - We didn't tell them that I've gone to Australia. We told them that I've gone to Bangalore to do some studies. - She started making it further and further away. New Delhi ` she's there; she'll be back this time. The time sort of kept on proceeding. I'm not sure after how many months, we just got told that she's in Australia. Like, 'Oh...' - I think years. - Years? Yeah, might be even years, yeah, that we got told that she's not in India. Yeah, that's what, uh... the memory we have for that. - We didn't tell them that I have gone to Australia for a couple of years. Just didn't feel that it was the right thing to tell, because if their father came to know or my in-laws came to know, they may take the kids away. - Now, when I look at my kids and I reflect back on my childhood, I think there was always a sense of anxiety, which I don't see in my kids at the moment. But, um... (CHUCKLES) But, yeah, so I think I always had this mild anxiety just to know what's gonna happen next, because Mum just left. You know? - Leaving children behind was the most difficult decision has ever been in my life. It wasn't something which I just made up for any other reason than to provide the better life for my children and for myself as well, of course. It was courageous. (CHUCKLES) Crazy as well. (LAUGHS) And courageous. (LAUGHS) In those days, even boys wouldn't come abroad that easy. I don't know if I met any other girl who had come on her own. My first job was selling telecommunication, and it was door-to-door sale. I didn't have confidence of talking in English at that time, so I wrote down my pitch,... - Hello. - ...knocked the door and read to the customers. Worked long hours, making sure I have to keep walking ` rain, sunshine. There was always a hope every door you knock. You know, you knocked with the hope. You knocked with a smile. (CHUCKLES) - Something you want. - Saving was the prime mission for me. I lived in a very small space. Ate very simple. I only lived on bread and ketchup, the sauce, and would add some salt and some chilli flakes on that. Having any sort of luxury in my life at that time, even having a TV, it was like I'm excluding my children. They are not here. You know? I felt I will only live a life with any comfort when my family's here. In those days, making phone call to India was also very expensive. I remember my mum used to tell that my son will wake up at night and will say that he was running after a bus where Mum has left. It was quite heartbreaking talking to them. - (SOBS) - During those door-to-door selling time, I met a guy called George. He opens the door and in his Lebanese accent, he asked me, 'What are you selling at this time of the night? 'What this beautiful girl is doing at this time of the night here? And then he said, 'Would you like to have a permanent job? You don't have to go door to door.' And I said, 'Yes, why not? I will.' And he said, 'It's a petrol station. You have to make kebab. You have to do cleaning.' - OK. - From that very first day, I started working there, and there were lots of taxi drivers coming and going from India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, you know, so it's all people who can speak in my language. And I was just like, 'Wow. How much money do you make?' You know? And then someone said, 'Oh yeah, you make, you know, $200 a day, 'and then you're comparing with what you are earning.' But then they say, 'Oh, getting a taxi licence is very hard, 'but you have to have a driver's licence first.' So I went to the road transportation authority and asked the lady for conversion of my driver's licence. And when she gave me the form, I was looking at the column where it will say, 'the daughter of' or 'the wife of', you know, and I'm reading. And I went back and I said, 'Oh, I think you have given me the wrong forms. 'Doesn't know the "daughter of" or "wife of" column. And then she looked at me and she said, 'Your identity is yours, 'not because of whose wife you are, whose daughter you are.' It was such a sense of relief, you know, that I could be myself. I started to drive taxi after that. It was very scary, and I always drove at night. You don't know who you're going to meet, where you're going. I was the only female who was driving a taxi. You know, I had long hair, not bad-looking. You know, people want to take advantage at times. You know? There was someone who was talking to me telling me that, 'Oh, I saw you there,' you know, 'Did you drive this number taxi?' And I felt like quite a creep feeling from this person. I had to cut my hair, and I just wanted to not be identifiable, so I can continue. Cut my hair completely like a boy, looking like a boy, (CHUCKLES) so nobody can make out if I'm a girl or a boy. You know? So just cut it. In my religion, hair is my identity. You know? So that was quite a dark space to be at. The pain of leaving kids and the pain of not having anybody, it was very lonely. I had put on a lot of weight on driving taxi, eating chocolate, drinking coke to stay awake late at night. I was literally sleeping three to four hours, five hours maximum. I couldn't have slept because sleeping was thinking of the loved ones. You know? The rest of the time was just driving taxi or working at the petrol station or doing the cleaning job. Although I am on a mission of doing something, but a mission at a huge cost. - I'm 29 years old and have been away from my family and India for three years. I can't give up on my dream of providing a better life for myself and for my children. But I'm beginning to wonder how long will it take. I always wanted my family to come and live with me. There was a legal battle going on between my ex-husband and myself for the custody of the kids. In '99, he said, 'I can give you the consent of the kids to go, to take them to Australia, if you... 'divorce.' So that's why I went to India in '99 ` to have the divorce and see my kids. For three years ` long three years ` kids had grown up a bit. - I didn't recognise her, and I was expecting her to wear Indian clothes, and she wasn't. She was wearing, like, jeans, short hair as well. So everyone said, 'Well, that's her,' and I'm, 'Mm, OK.' (LAUGHS) - I was so excited to see them. It was a beautiful feeling. And then, yeah, spent three weeks there. - I don't think I was just straight away was` connect back to how it was, and then by the time I started feeling back to normal, she said, 'I have to go back.' - It was very, very difficult to fly back to Australia, having to leave kids behind again, to unsettle them, unsettling myself ` it just wasn't doing any good to any of us. In those days, immigration was harder in Australia as compared to it was in New Zealand. So I thought, OK, coming to New Zealand, eventually my kids will join me, and I wanted to bring all my family. (HOPEFUL MUSIC) When I came to New Zealand, I landed in Auckland. My living would be a taxi, because that's what I had learnt. I stayed in a very small hostel in the city, the YMCA. People, I felt, were more welcoming compared to being in Australia. I felt very warm here. My vision was also to change my status. Being in the office, that was my dream job. To do that, I needed to learn some computer skills. (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) - I met Mandeep about 20 years ago. We were both students at a computer institute. We were doing the evening shift together, and we got talking one night, and at 10 o'clock, I was going home to bed and she was off to drive taxis for the night. I mean, she was very interesting, but there was sadness about her. - It was quite lonely. Kids had grown up while I was away. You miss what they enjoy eating, not being able to cook for them. Huge cost of missing out on so much. - My children were children's ages, and just the thought of being away from them myself was just heartbreaking. I could see what it was costing her to try and be better for her children. Because we were an IT training school, we encouraged our students to go for any positions that were coming up within the institute. A role come up for an administrator, and Mandeep applied for it. Hearing her story and how brave and strong she was that I decided to give her a go. - I thought, 'Well, I got my dream job.' You know? (CHUCKLES) 'I can buy a house one day, bring my family. I can give them luxury.' You know? Yeah. It was quite a milestone in my life, buying a first house without anybody else helping me. Once I got the custody of the kids, immigration process was taking time. - There's a letter. My grandfather didn't open it there and then. He was a little bit nervous as well, cos obviously Australia declined me and Parneet when we first tried to go. And from New Zealand, he stopped on the side of the road and had a read, and... and then he'd give me a hug. He's like, 'You're going to New Zealand.' - It was a dream come true. Within five days, I was with my children. It was six years since I left India. My daughter was now 14. My son was 12. I just can't tell you how beautiful it was knowing that nobody can ever separate us any more. Mm. - Where we came from to what we got, it felt like a step up in life. - I did feel the sense of stability, and I saw the hard work she's doing. But New Zealand wasn't what we were expecting. Like, it was quite quiet, and Mum was also busy working. She had two, three jobs. The house was amazing, and (CHUCKLES) she didn't have furniture or anything, but she had a massive TV. - TV, yeah. - We didn't mind sitting on the floor to watch the TV. (BOTH LAUGH) - When they arrived, I asked them, 'What did you like the most?' And both my kids said the greenery. And only then I thought, New Zealand is green. I was so focused on working and just... following my goals, you know, without knowing that New Zealand is green. I saw greenery through my kids. There's no words which can express how beautiful it was to know that, yes, finally, you know, everything what I had been through, what they had been through, it was worthwhile. Now we are all together. - I had bought the house before the children had come, so I was kind of thinking, 'Yes, I got home!' You know? It seems like still something is missing in life here. - She had realised that dream of bringing her children to New Zealand. She had bought her parents out and given them a nice place to live. But she was still working hard, and she still had another dream. So she was on to the next thing. - That was the time when I started to think about my childhood dream, which my mother gave me ` wear a uniform, being able to help people. When I was living in YMCA, a night receptionist was John Pegler, who worked with the New Zealand police for 35 years. Every time when I'd finished driving taxi, he will make me a cup of tea. We will sit down, have a chat. He gave me that fatherly feeling, which is so nice. He will talk about his stories, what it was like being a police officer, and I will listen with a lot of interest. One day I asked John, I said, 'What do you think? Do you think I could join police?' He said, 'Yes, you can, and you will be a wonderful officer. 'New Zealand police would appreciate someone who could bring the language skills. They will just grab you.' You know? The reassurance` He made me feel I can. - When she first told me she wanted to join the police force, I thought, you've only just got into the swing of your IT job. One of the big reasons that she wanted to keep with that dream is she said, 'New Zealand's been good to me, and I want to put something back, 'and this is how I can do it.' - You can only apply to join the police if you have physical fitness requirements, and then academic. The first thing was the swimming. (CHUCKLES) Never been to the pools ever in my life. Didn't know what pools are. I thought at least I should start running. I started to go to the running group. That's where I met Don Coster. - There was a lot of people who wanted to join the police, but never had the fortitude to actually go through the process and get there. Dare I say it, I thought maybe Mandeep was one of those. As we progressed, I saw the determination and guts and drive that was in Mandeep. And that's what I love to see. - Those who were in the group came to know about my swimming, so they became my... buddies to help me how to learn swimming. Don also suggested, 'I can also give you some initial lessons.' - Mandeep came to me all in a flap, you know, sort of, 'Oh my God,' she said, 'I've never worn a swimsuit before. Indian women just don't show their bodies.' So I said, 'Oh, don't worry,' you know, 'We'll go shopping.' We chose this orange swimsuit, and it hit me when she needed to come out and show me the swimsuit the... how much of an effort it was. You could see the fear on her face of having to get past something that Indian woman just didn't do. - I went in my orange togs, first time, walking in the pools with the sarong. Only later on, I came to know how much I impressed him with my orange togs because he thought, 'Oh, here we go. She wants to become a police officer.' - Well, first of all, I almost drowned her the first night. Starting off with floating and kicking and that sort of stuff, you go to the bottom, and it's like, Christ, I'd better grab hold of her and pull her up. (CHUCKLES) She's under there for quite some time. Getting the confidence, it was like her running ` once she got the confidence in herself to be able to run, she just took off. - I remember (CHUCKLES) sometimes Don would just say to me, 'Show your curry power!' (LAUGHS) I knew how much he cared and wanted to help me. Every day we were practising swimming, going for run, push-ups and high jump. I didn't have any second to myself. And when I look back, I really don't know how I managed to do all that. - We were working full time ` Mandeep was working full time ` and then we'd go to the pool. I'd probably do a couple of lengths, and then get in the spa pool. Mandeep would just keep swimming lengths. After that, I'd be ready to go home sleep, and she would be putting on her taxi uniform because she'd be going to her second job. - PARNEET: On the weekend, she'll do the cooking for the whole week, because she didn't have time, obviously. - Went for runs with her as well. Definitely did see her put in the hard yards. - Yeah. - Swimming was the biggest challenge. 50m under 54 seconds. For three months, I couldn't drop three seconds. I was 57 seconds. I was doing everything, but these three seconds were not coming down. - She tried to taste a number of times, and she just couldn't get her time down. So I said, you know, 'How about you try diving to save some time?' She was swimming from one end of the pool to the other. And hopefully the dive will take those seconds off to get you under the time. And so, yeah, we started learning to dive. - You know, learning at the age when I was 35, it was quite a phobia of the water. Diving in, I mentally couldn't prepare myself. So she says to me, 'Oh, I'll jump with you,' you know, 'You can then see how it is.' She must have done that 10 times, thinking, 'I'm gonna jump with her.' I was just looking. 'Yeah. Yeah.' (CHUCKLES) Just didn't dare to do. - She stood on the pool for quite some time. I got her to go into the dive position, and then... - She just pushes me into the water. (LAUGHS) - She remembers it more vividly than I do. I hope I didn't traumatise her too much. - That gave me confidence that, yeah, I won't sink. I will come up regardless, so I just need to` I then practise on my dive, and then, yeah, I managed to do it in 53 seconds. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - When she got accepted to the police force, I was so excited for her. You know, gutted for her leaving, but very excited for her. It was a major step up. - It was fantastic to see her throwing her cap in the air with all the others, and, you know, she'd done it. She was in. She'd realised another dream. Her mum was there. She was very proud. - It was a really nice feeling of wearing that uniform, which I had dreamed about from a very young age. It was a beautiful feeling to celebrate graduation. Wow. (CHUCKLES) Here I am. I got it. You know? (CHUCKLES) - I like to think that taking the COVID injection will keep you around - I'm the first Indian-born female police officer in the police. I feel very proud to be the groundbreaker. The first few years, it was a new thing for officers who I have worked with ` female from an ethnic background. Will she be able to deal with the drunk group of people or any confronting situations? Just the perceptions they had. - Coming into police as a Sikh female would have been a unique challenge for Mandeep at the time. I'm pretty sure she was the first. Whether New Zealand Police was prepared for that, I'm not sure. - I think it was difficult for Mandeep in the beginning. She was one of the first sort of paving the way for others. - Working in family harm was the very first workgroup where I felt that I'm able to make the difference for my communities. Encouraging them to report to that the authorities aren't corrupt here. A lot of the time, it's finding the right helpful for those people who probably aren't able to resolve their issues within themselves. I have often felt women from ethnic background feel very comfortable talking to me about the issues which they won't talk to anybody else. They are so reluctant to make it a formal complaint. - When I was working at the computer institute, one of my roles was to take the student orientation for the foreign students, and Mandeep insisted that I tell them you can trust the New Zealand police. - She's an inspiration to people, and there's a hope for other women in a similar position that there is a way out. - If you've had a perfect life, it can be hard to understand people who don't have a perfect life. So her experiences have allowed her to be a better person and a police officer. - Mandeep's always been fairly circumspect about her own background. It's probably, you know, not till six years or so into my working relationship with Mandeep that I sort of started to understand what she had experienced growing up. The courage that she expressed to get out of a very unhealthy relationship and a different cultural context to leave her children and venture off into an unknown to forge a new pathway and to later bring her children, I thought was incredible. - (SPEAKS PUNJABI, CHUCKLES) 'The temple where I go to, my mum used to visit when she was alive.' When I go there now, (EXHALES) it just makes me feel she's there. Her presence is there. I can just sense her. She was my angel. She supported me throughout my thick and thin. Being a single mum, the religion doesn't exclude you if you are separated. It's the culture which makes it difficult. My job filled the gap of a male figure in my life. It gave me a lot of acceptance status which a single woman wouldn't have ` - In the Punjabi society, it's still, like, slightly cautious why you're single and all that. And so you do get treated like an outsider. But now you're a police officer, so you got some credibility. - For me, the New Zealand culture was something new, but then the police culture is another big new thing. But at the same time, the journey has been quite fascinating to see the changes. Now there are so many other officers who come from the same ethnic background. In 2015, I invited them to participate in dance, which is called bhangra, in the uniform. It's really been very much liked by not only the Indian community but the non-Indian community as well. That's my culture, you know? I love both uniform and bhangra. (LAUGHS) So my joy is doubled up. (CHUCKLES) This year, I was given that opportunity to apply for Senior Sergeant's position. I always felt it would be nice to be on that level where you can put your ideas forward on the decision-making table. Policing National Headquarters, it's very special for me. The biggest achievement so far for me in my life. - Every time she's promoted, I'm so happy and so proud. I think she's had a pretty hard road to go. Huge admiration for her ability to keep going, and not many people in the world like that. - Joining the police, there was support, help available, but I had to put hard yards in there. Nothing has come easy, you know. and I had to fight for everything, so it sort of became part of who I am. But had I not done that, we wouldn't have been where we are today. - (CHATTERS) - When I look at my kids, they're such confident little toddlers, which my brother and I, we weren't like that at all. - (LAUGHS) - Aargh! - But when I see this confidence in them, it` sometimes, like, 'Where do they get that from?' But they've got no other worries, and it is because of her. - (CLUCKS, LAUGHS) - I'm glad that she can be a grandmother. What she couldn't experience with us, I hope she can experience that with my kids. - You want to be a motorcycle cop to catch the bad guy? - Yeah! - (LAUGHS) Yeah. - Bad guy! - Yeah. - (LAUGHS) You're bad guy. - (CHATTERS) - My world is around my grandkids now. They're my life. You know? And I see that fiery granddaughter. (LAUGHS) It just makes me` Yes, that's right. (LAUGHS) She's just so beautiful. She's not going to put up any crap from anyone. (LAUGHS) And so I just think it's job well done when you can see your legacy is not going to face those things which you have faced. You have broken that cycle. That's that huge achievement, yeah. That's a beautiful colour. You wanna hold that? - Yeah. - She's been a wonderful friend. She makes me laugh. She's inspired me that you don't let the detail get in the way. If you want something, you go for it. - You're a woman, you're a single mother coming from a country where one of the most dangerous country to be a woman. Nothing was looking promising for her, and look what she has done. It's very impressive. I don't think I could have done it. - I landed in a place where it was a supportive society. A girl who... born in village and have been a taxi driver and have lived tough times in her life and now representing her... community. That means a lot to me. I felt like I've done more than a son could have done. I'm proud to be a woman. I am Mandeep Kaur. (SOFT, INSPIRATIONAL MUSIC) Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.