CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYS PEOPLE CHAT Champagne, sir? Thank you. Please make sure the mayor's glass is full. He is the guest of honour. Of course. Mr Mayor? Thank you. Caviar mini pizza? No, thank you. Well, that's a shame. They're incredible. She's the Russian, right? Very elegant. What's her name again? Didn't you even read the briefing? Honestly? I skimmed it, even the bits with her in. Kati Gorenka - wife of Moscow oligarch Sergei Gorenka. He fell out with a rival... And then fell off a balcony, meaning Kati had to leave in a hurry. So, you DID read it. I merely looked at the pictures. Killed in broad daylight. A dozen witnesses. Classic oligarch assassination. Mm. Poor Kati. A true damsel in distress. Well, unfortunately for you, it looks like the Prince Charming role has already been filled. Thank you, everyone, for attending this historic moment. Professor da Silva has spent the last two weeks evaluating the icon, and I'm proud to confirm that this is the original icon of Saint Nicholas the Russian, that was stolen from this very monastery over 500 years ago. And thanks to our friend, Ms Kati Gorenka, he is finally back home. APPLAUSE Before... Before I formally hand the icon over to Father Santiago, please welcome our hostess for this evening. APPLAUSE Who's the gorilla? That's Yuri Gabrikov - Kati's bodyguard. Think he's ever smiled? Even as a kid? HE CHUCKLES I bet, on his tenth birthday party, he was like... Shush! The friendship of the people of Mallorca has been like a beacon guiding me back to safe shores, and for that reason, it is my honour to return the icon of Saint Nicholas to his rightful owners. Thank you. Thank you, all. And now, please enjoy the party. APPLAUSE Anything to report, Detective Winter? Mm. The caviar pizzas are just delicious. But apart from that, nothing. GUNSHOT SCREAMING, GUNSHOT Come on, come on, come on! Move! Come on, come on, come on! Move, move, move, move! Move, move, move! Max. Come on! FAINT THUD MOTOR WHIRS Dammit! Dammit! BOTH PANT # When the moonlight shines down on the sea # And you think that you got a shot at me # Better set me free # You gotta set me free Yeah # I'll surrender # Surrender. # This is a disaster... ..not to mention a national humiliation in broad daylight. The police had one simple task - protect the icon of Saint Nicholas - and it was taken from right under your noses! Kati Gorenka is not only our guest. She's investing heavily in the hotel project. That means work and business for my island. Personally, I feel Mallorca belongs to everybody... We've already widened the search for the boat. Find it and there's every chance of recovering the icon. You better, or...or... ..or... Or...? ..or there will be big trouble, and lots of it for all of you. Big, big trouble! Find the icon. DOOR SLAMS "Big, big trouble." For you. Have there been any sightings of the boat? No, not yet, but as I've said, the coastguard have widened their search... Oh, come on. The icon is long gone. It's probably hanging in some mobster's basement already. Now, if we had our own speedboat... No, you're wrong! It has to still be on the island. You just love to contradict me. That's becoming a thing. You, shut up. You, talk. The chopper was on the scene in good time, so there's no way that boat could have reached the mainland. It must have doubled back to the shore, which means, logically, Saint Nicholas is still on the island, and if it is, we can get it back. For all our sakes, I hope you're right. Well, don't just stand there. Go find it! Look, I know you're going to be on a whole "Hey, this is personal" trip because you were supposed to protect the icon... Sorry, me? If you wouldn't have been so busy gorging on mini pizzas... I'm just saying, this clearly was a professional art theft, which means, despite what the logic says, the chances of us finding the icon now are pretty slim. You're giving up. No! I'm just preparing you for potential disappointment. That's it. Oh, well, yeah, great. Thank you very much for that, but I prefer to think positively, so can we please get down to business? If they have hidden the boat on the island, then someone somewhere will have seen something. On an empty stretch of coast with a thousand inlets, all inaccessible? Like I said to Cesar, the boat is key. We talk to coastguard, criminal intelligence, local informants, anyone - anyone - who might have seen the boat land. Paco. Paco! Paco will know, and I know where he'll be. Come on. * That's Paco? Pelican L aka Paco. One-time successful artist, fell in with a bad crowd, and now he operates as a beachcomber. Smuggler, you mean? That's so judgmental. He's a valuable police source. He's very cooperative. Although it's always best to surprise him. And there we go. Finished. 50 euro. All right, 20. Come on. Ten! Paco! Philistines! HE GROANS IN PAIN That's me painting arm! Get off me! What do you want, apart from wrecking me business? We're looking for a boat. A boat? What would an artist of my stature know of such base things? Cos you're a smuggler. A smuggler? Me? I merely acquire things that have been washed up on the tide of good fortune. Anyway, listen, I'm so sorry that I can't be of more help to me good friends in the police, but... That's a damn shame. You know that there's a reward? Oh, yeah? A small one, no doubt. Not worth the bother? 500 euros. It's not so small. 50 up front. You'll get the rest when you find the boat. I'll see what I can do. Ah, good old Paco. HE CHUCKLES OK. So, where next? The marina. I want to talk to the Russians. To get round security outside the monastery, they must have had information. Someone knew exactly how to disable the alarms. So, you think it could be an inside job? Let's find out. Ekaterina? HE SCOFFS How vain do you have to be to name a yacht after yourself? Kati didn't. Her husband, Sergei, did. It was a gift to his beloved. VIOLENT GROANING Kata-te-jime - single-hand choke. Ekaterina. Ekaterina! I think he's submitting. Better. Although your ippon still needs work. We continue tomorrow. Palma police. Ms Gorenka, we need to ask you some questions. Oh, yes. The waiters. Mallorca has always felt like a home to my family, and now that Mayor Cesar has welcomed us, I wanted to show my gratitude by returning the icon. And you deal with all Kati's security? I protect her. It was Sergei's last wish. Before he fell off the balcony? My husband was killed, Detective, by powerful people. That is why I can never go back to Russia. We are now just poor refugees, adrift on an endless ocean of sorrow. Well, at least you all have a lovely boat to do it on. Oh, Detective, how very cynical of you. I got nearly everything you asked for, Kati, but they ran out of fox gilets. You remember the police officers from last night, don't you, Alexis? Yes, I do, and I assume you're here to apologise for your complete incompetence. We just need a little information. Did you notice anything unusual before the gunshot? Anyone you didn't recognise? Nothing. I assumed the place was crawling with police, that security was properly taken care of. My mistake, clearly. KATI CHUCKLES Alexis is a professional, Detective Blake. Ex-Spetsnaz. He was my own personal protection officer before we, erm... we, erm... Before we fell in love. We fell in love. He has very high standards. We are the victims here, Detectives. All we want is our icon back. Couldn't you even pretend to look busy? I'm thinking... HE SIGHS ..about the case. Big Yuri is jealous, for sure. Hates Alexis. I see his point. But do you think Yuri loves Kati? He's worshipped her from afar? I don't see how that's relevant. Revenge? She takes up with Alexis, so he feels she owes him, so he tips off the gang, deliberately leaves a hole in security. MOBILE PHONE RINGS Hold that thought. It's a good one. Max Winter. OK, thanks. Yes, I'll definitely tell her to bring the money. All right. So, where exactly is it? OK, thank you. Guess who. Vladimir Putin. Paco, and he's found your boat already. Let's go. Took a bit of digging, but I know this guy. He's a boat painter and he likes this stretch of the coast for sardine fishing. Anyway, he saw - not that he was looking, mind you - but he saw this boat just abandoned. And, now, it did take a bit of persuading on my part, but... ..as promised, one boat. MAX CHUCKLES Paco has his ear to the ground. Hey! Hey! What about my money? Ah, yeah. Erm... Really? Take it or leave it. I'll take it. Anything? I guess professional art thieves don't leave names and addresses. Hey, where are you going? To look around. We haven't finished here yet. We need to pull DNA and fingerprints. And don't forget witness interviews. Somebody might have seen them dump the boat. We need to go door-to-door, Max. What doors? We're in the middle of nowhere! Federico, hi. Miranda. We need a forensics team. It's a cove on the Pollenca road. I'll drop you a pin. Hey! Come and look at this. Hang on. I'll call you back. It's from La Rueda. Remember Alexis' shopping? This is the most expensive shop in Palma. It's a receipt, Max. It could have been here for months. No way. Uh-uh. This is new. All right, there's only one way onto this beach and one way out. Same for us. Same for the robbers. What if Alexis is our inside man? All that from a credit card slip? Come on! We're going shopping. * La Rueda - this is where Alexis shops. I told you it was a waste of time. This negativity really is becoming a thing. We're chasing up a lead here. Real detective work, huh? You know, honestly, I'm only going along with this until the forensics come back. You know, actual real police work. MOBILE PHONE BUZZES Ah, Federico. Finally! The boat will be clean. Well, let's see, shall we? Yes? HE SIGHS What, nothing? Are you sure? OK, thank you. Like I said - clean. BELL RINGS Look. Lead's on the move. See? A gallery where you can find art dealers to buy a stolen icon. Maybe. "Nice clue, Max. Great instincts. "Let's stake out this gallery and see what happens." That's what you should say. When you say nothing, it means I won, yeah? At least, that's how I interpret it. Interesting. What do you have, Alexis? It's too big for our icon. OK, he's gone. I will talk to the owner. And tip them off that we're onto them? No. We need round-the-clock covert surveillance here. And if the icon IS in there? We can't risk it. Imagine how happy the mayor will be. We might get a big, big medal. What the hell? Max! Max, we need to wait! I'll call for backup. It's too late. I'm almost there. I'm going in. For God's sake! Max! Max! Can I help you? I'm Detective Blake. This is Detective Winter. We have some questions concerning the theft of the icon of Saint Nicholas. Ah, yes. Yes, I heard. A terrible thing. It was a beautiful piece. "Was"? If it was stolen, then I assume it's already in the hands of a collector. Another priceless work of art hidden away forever, lost to the world. Now, that's the real crime, don't you think? The Russian... ..what did he want? Alexis? He's a customer. He commissioned an original painting. In questionable taste, but needs must when the devil drives, hmm? You know, you seem very familiar to me. Have we met before? No, I don't think so, Detective. What's in here? Storage. We can't display everything. Is there something you're looking for in particular? Can I see? No, afraid not. The key has been mislaid. Oh, we could break it down for you. I'd really rather you didn't. Well, unless you have a warrant. No, I thought not. Now, please leave... ..or I shall be calling both my lawyers. Ha! I knew it! Blake Nardini is an alias. Look. His real name is... Ziggy von Rumke. Mm-hm. Trained at the Kunstakademie Dusseldorf. Notorious stolen art dealer. OK, let's get that warrant. Alexis steals the icon from under our noses, sells it to Nardini, who keeps it under wraps. Until it can be slipped off the island. When the heat dies down. You're sure about this? 110%. I'm coming with you. DOORBELL RINGS Police! Max! Scheisse! Detective Blake! The mayor wanted the Spanish police on the case. He didn't trust you. I persuaded him to give you a chance. Why the hell did you walk straight in? You should have called for backup, set up surveillance. Well...? I thought, if we went straight in, we had a chance to find the icon, catch him red-handed. What you've succeeded in doing is to alert our prime suspect. Now I have to tell Cesar that the icon is lost forever! I'm sorry. Words, Detective, I have. What I need are results! OK. So, this time, you were right and I was wrong. Yeah, obviously. But I had a hunch the icon was inside... Oh, we could have found it, Max, if we'd followed standard procedure! But, instead, you went with your hunch. My hunch got us there. Remember? The receipt in the bushes? Paco? If we'd have gone by your precious book... OK, do you know why there's a book? Because it works. So, yes, yes, you should have listened to me because I know what the hell I'm doing. Of course. And that's your own little Mallorca fantasy, isn't it? Miranda Blake saving us all with her fantastic police work. But you know what? We caught bad guys before you came along. Really? Yes. Are you sure? Because I would love to see some evidence of that. You remember evidence, do you? It's the thing we police officers use to put people in jail. You are not so perfect. That's why you're here, stuck with me. Just forget it. I'm going home, and I suggest you do the same. * Max Winter with the long horse face, huh? HE LAUGHS He had an argument with his girlfriend. I mean, with his other girlfriend. HE LAUGHS I think you should talk to him. So...? She thinks I'm irresponsible. Well, that's true. I don't deliver. Hey, you're like the postman - you always deliver. Right. I found the boat. Me. I thought Paco found the boat. It was my source. I do my share. She just chooses to ignore it. So, you're right and she's wrong? Exactly. And that's why you are drinking schnapps at five o'clock? I'm celebrating how perfectly right I always am. Find her and apologise, or find a new bar. I like this bar. HE SIGHS Over here, we have the facade of the 13th-century church. It was a model because it was struck by lightning in the 17th century. If you'd like to follow me, we will walk this way. TOUR CONTINUES FAINTLY IN DISTANCE Police officer from the other night. Yeah. Are you here investigating the robbery? Not exactly. I'm just running things through in my head. Sounds very much like investigation. Mm, yeah. I thought you were very brave. I saw you running after an armed robber... ..no thought for your own safety. Just doing my job. Can't believe I just said that. Well, if you're not here working, then why don't you let me show you around? Sure. Some people say this is a Giotto. Me? I am not so sure. The brushwork is a little...unrefined. I wish I could see what you can see. Hmm. Sometimes, I want to have the eye of an amateur once more, to see the beauty of the whole... ..not the devil in the detail. Don't wish away your innocence, Detective. Poor Saint Nicholas. He disappears for centuries, then when everyone thinks him lost forever, he reappears, only to vanish once more. Perhaps the Lord is laughing at us, Detective. I would have thought He'd want it back as much as we did. God, that is. It's a masterpiece, right? At least, that's what the books say. Yes, a masterpiece, no doubt. But it's what he represents that's important. Saint Nicholas is much more than a beautiful piece of painted wood. The true genius is the devotion of the artist. Pure faith made tangible, Detective Blake. Now, that - that is priceless. That's where we're going to put him. An icon is a window onto heaven. Hiding it away in a vault defeats the point. As you can see, we have...filled the space. However, it's a little... Flat? HE WHISPERS: The work of Father Rodrigo. His gift is in devotion, but not art. Maybe you should tell him the truth. And hurt his feelings? No. Sometimes, the truth is overrated. I... I like the purple. The Christ is dressed in that way because purple pigment was once hugely expensive, extracted only from the shells of Phoenician sea snails. It was a sign of great wealth - the colour of popes and emperors. Every colour tells its own story, Detective. Are you sure? Of course. The stone is lapis lazuli - an ancient source of blue pigment. I can run it through our analysis, if you like. Where did you get it? MOBILE PHONE BUZZES Ooh, sorry. Yes? Guess what. We found the icon. Saint Nicholas is back. HE CHUCKLES Yeah, some kid and his dog found it hidden under a bush near to the boat, called it in. MAX CHUCKLES Well, it's a fake. What? Well, think about it. When we found the boat, the entire area was searched. Not a scrap of evidence - no prints, no fibres, nothing. Apart from a crucial credit card receipt. Now the icon just turns up hidden under a bush? It doesn't add up. Maybe they missed it. Federico may be a lot of things, but he's good at his job. There's no way this icon was left there by the thieves. HE SIGHS OK. I'm guessing you have a theory. The institute tested the icon, confirmed it was genuine, then it was stolen. What if the thieves only stole it in order to make a copy? When the fake turns up, everyone assumes it's real, the case is closed and they get to keep the real icon in order to sell it on the black market. Alexis visits von Rumke to collect the copy before planting it back here for us to find. Exactly. Found this in the gallery. Federico tested it. It's lapis lazuli. It's a vital ingredient. He was using it to match the blue in the icon. This painting is a forgery. It's a good one, but it's still a forgery. I'm right. I know I am. It's funny, this room. There is some kind of echo. I'm sure I've heard this before when I authorised a warrant to search an empty studio. I promise you, this time is different. You sound just like my ex-husband, and believe me, that is not a good sound. Ines, last time, I made the mistake, but I believe Miranda's right. Oh, well, if the big bratwurst is convinced... No, no, I made my decision. You both had your chance. The icon is back. The ceremony's on. This case is closed. Yeah, but don't you see? That's what they want. You're playing into their hands. It's a fake! Closed! Hey! Wait! Look, you were right and I was wrong. I rushed in and blew the case. I'm sorry. Did Carmen tell you to say that? No. Well, not exactly. I got carried away, but I should have listened to you. It was a two-footed tackle, straight red, confirmed on VAR. I mean, I've absolutely no idea what that means, but...thanks, I think. Still partners? Companeros? SHE CHUCKLES Sure. No, I'm not hugging you. You will when you hear my plan. So, we believe Kati Gorenka still has the real icon. Yeah, I'm sure of it. Then it's simple. All we have to do is steal it back. We're police officers, Max. We don't steal things. Well, sometimes the book is overrated. * What's he doing here? SHE SIGHS SHE GROANS IN FRUSTRATION CLATTERING Scheisse! DOOR OPENS FOOTSTEPS APPROACH SHE WHISPERS: Max, look. I wouldn't. My partner is literally right behind you. Mm, sure. Poor Ziggy. All that talent, and he ends up as shark food. Do they actually have sharks here? Well, in my head, yes. Yeah, OK, they stay far out... ..waiting. Yeah, OK. Buenas noches. Only a few days ago, this beautiful work of art was lost, feared gone forever. But now, thanks to the efforts of the wonderful, wonderful Mallorcan police force, it has been returned safe and sound. So, now it is my pleasure to present the icon of Saint Nicholas back to the people of this beautiful island. That's a fake... ..commissioned by Kati Gorenka. This is the real one. We found it on her boat, along with the body of the man who made that forgery. Erm, this is ridiculous. She's clearly insane. Kati! Kati, run! Max! Max! Max! Don't move. If you're looking for Yuri, you'll have a long wait. Game over. Oh! Let her go. GUNSHOT Arrgh! Arrgh! Every Tuesday at Aberystwyth Sports Centre. I was only a green belt. Arrgh! Nice tackle, by the way. It was nothing. The fruit of God. SHE CHUCKLES Ziggy von Rumke had some talent, huh? Identical. They're both so beautiful. How can you tell the difference? The truth can never be hidden from the faithful, Detective. For you. My gift. Many good souls have faced their doubters and prevailed. However, it is always a challenge. The most important thing is that the real icon is now in a place of safety... ..where it will be seen and treasured every day. Don't you agree? Amen. MONASTIC SINGING ECHOES: The most important thing is that the real icon is now in a place of safety. Don't you agree? # We got time on our side # Never too late No, no # Everyone from now # Is gonna have to wait # Whoa-oh-oh. # Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2020