PHONE RINGS Hello, Ma'am. Miranda, are you alone? Yeah, of course. Just me. Well, and...the island. Well, that's good, because what I've got to say is a little delicate? OK. We've had a touch of MeToo trouble over here. I won't go into any of the gory details, but it seems that we might have a few vacancies coming up. And of course, I thought about you and all the wonderful work you're doing in Ibiza. You want me to come back to England? I knew you'd be excited. Welcome home, DC Blake. Eh... PHONE HANGS UP What? Nothing. I'm just thinking... ..I'm a lucky guy, you know? Live in a great place. I have a great job. And the woman I love brings me coffee in bed. Meeting you was... ..the best thing that has ever happened to me. Even better than that time you saw a seagull catch a chip in mid-air? OK, second best! But that was a hell of a catch. You know what? I think I could teach you to catch chips too. Hm-mm. So for that reason, we probably should get married! Erm... You mean it? Or was this just another joke? I love you. Marry me? OK. Then I'll...think about it. Wow! # When the moonlight shines # Down on the sea # And you think that you got A shot at me # Then set me free # You got to set me free # I'm so glad now # So mad now...# They want me to go back to England. My boss called me this morning. OK. Well, that's...great, isn't it? Mm. Yeah. I, erm... ..I also have some news. Mm. I asked Carmen to marry me. OK! Wow! That's just what I said! Wow! Yeah. What did she say? She's thinking about it. OK. Mm-hm. Yeah. But when she said that, was her face, like...? Or was it more like...? The first one, yeah, definitely the first one. Oh, well, then! Congratulations. Thank you. Oh, OK. Blake, Winter? My office. You know "Hurgen" Kuhl? Of course. No. Oh, and it's JURGEN Kuhl. Listen. It's too early. I have a hangover. And my espresso machine is broken. You tell her. Jurgen Kuhl invented Deutsche Musik. SHE GARGLES It's a big singing show. Huge in Germany. And he's the lead judge. Controversial, larger than life, brutally honest. I don't watch TV. My parents didn't have one. They thought it rotted your brain. Maybe they had a point. So what? Apparently someone is stealing his recording equipment. So he absolutely insists we investigate immediately. And naturally, I thought of you. Go. Now. # Auf wiedersehen, baby # Danke schoen, Oktoberfest...# Jurgen Kuhl is a cultural titan. He's been making music and records for more than 20 years. In Germany. OK, listen. # Einstein, Wittgenstein Beer stein, baby # Ja, ja, ja, ja... # SINGS ALONG: # Ja, ja, ja, ja # Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja # Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja! # THEY LAUGH No, it's appalling! I think it has a very positive message, but OK. # Dortmund, Dusseldorf # Haagens, haagens, haagens # Bergenhus, Gutenberg, Einhoven # Hindenburg, Hockenheim # Darmstadt...# Nice, if you want to live in a prison. Maybe when you're the most bad-tempered millionaire in Germany you need some privacy. HE WHISTLES The famous white piano. All the hits started there. There he is - the man himself, Jurgen Kuhl. It actually makes me nervous. Did you sign a contract? Yes. Then go. Go! Ah, at last. You're the police? I'm Detective Blake. This is Detective... Whatever, come, come. Here, come and look. You see my problem? They insisted on us using Spanish crew, but they all have families who need to eat. Apparently. So even though I pay them all a damn fortune, still my precious equipment vanishes into thin air. You're blaming the locals? Isn't that a bit cynical? Deutsche Musik has brought publicity and investment to this island for years. Millions of euros. Millions. They all owe me! Yeah, you! Instead of giving me a damn medal, they steal from me. Now, that's pretty cynical, don't you think? Can you hear that? What the hell is he doing? Jens! JENS SINGS Jens? HE SINGS Jens...why you stop? Herr Kuhl, I said earlier that I need to sing my own... ..compositions, if you just give me a chance. For God's sake, not this again, please. You sing my songs or you leave. But... OK? Playback. Cool. We should get one of those for Ines. Click! Silence. OFF KEY: # Amazing grace # How sweet the... # You never listen to me. Can you... You're - you can't hear me. Oh! # Saved a wretch... # I'm sorry, but if he can't sing, why is he even on the show? He's this year's joker, the one people love to laugh at. At first, eh, we only had the best singers on the show. Big talents and beautiful voices. OVER MICROPHONE: But it gets dull just listening to talented people. So my genius, I understood the audience loves a fool, an ordinary loser, someone just like them, someone so desperate for success that they humiliate themselves in front of millions of people week after week, after week. So is this a kind of freak show? And he knows this - that he's the freak? What? Are you crazy? These people aren't actors. They need to believe. So I choose what I need. They are my creations, my players. What did Shakespeare say? All the world's a stage, right? Let me tell you, if Shakespeare was alive today, he would be making this show. Find my stuff, detectives. * So, did you notice any suspicious activity? Not really. I've been in rehearsal, make-up... ..sleeping. I sleep a lot. I'm like a cat. Oh, what are those things on Insta that sleep a lot? Erm...a sloth? No, that's wrong. Maybe it is cat. So I would have definitely noticed something. I'm a super observant person. And I even saw an eagle yesterday. Out there. I think it was a sign that I would win. An eagle is basically God. So God has chosen me! This is a really negative thing to do. Can we finish the interview later? Cos I need to meditate now, OK? OK, let me think... OK. There was a guy yesterday hanging around by the pool. I definitely didn't recognise him. Did he have a long net? Wait...yes. Yes, he did. Is he one of your suspects? He's the pool guy. Right. Yes. That makes sense. SHOUTING You never listen to me! I'm done! You fat idiot! Don't call me fat! I have a condition. Yeah. You know what it's called? It's called eating like a damn pig. I have a condition! How many times, Jens? How many times? You want to be on my show, you sing my songs. These guys know this, right? Right? Yeah. What's so hard to understand? Hey, hey, hey! I think we can all just chill a little bit. But you heard what he said. Don't you dare interrupting me any more! What's important is the show, and the show must go on! I have a great singing voice. I've a great voice. And I am very important. OK. Well, what I think is important is that we all calm down. I love your singing. Really, it's, it's cool. Isn't it? It's full of passion. You lie! Liar! I heard what she said. She said I'm a freak! You call me freak because you were both laughing at me. No, no, nobody's laughing. You were mocking me, my voice. I heard everything through the microphone. Come on, come on. Look, we're all friends here, huh? Music-makers. Artists. Oh! Jens, give me the gun. I'm not joking! HE FIRES THE GUN Jens! EVERYBODY SCREAMS You get out! Out! No way. HE FIRES AGAIN PIANO CLASHES It's OK. Do - do as he says. Everyone else. Everyone else get out! You. You shut the door! Quick! OK, OK! Go over there now. Get! Out! You - I don't trust you. Get out. I'm not going anywhere. I shoot her in the head. All right, all right, all right. I'm not joking! I'll shoot her in the head. Go, Max. Go. Everyone else, sit on the sofa. It's OK, Max. Please. Aus! HE LOCKS DOOR Of course he's serious. Max Winter is a serious guy. Just like me. Also, he loves you. He told you that? No, not exactly. But, you see, guys don't really have those kind of conversations. So what do you talk about? Football. Beer. Has he ever been unfaithful? Has he even looked at another woman? No. He only cares about you... ..which is why you should definitely marry him. NUMEROUS PHONES BEEP TV: Police are surrounding the hilltop home of celebrity music producer Jurgen Kuhl after reports of gunfire. Our reporter Katya Cortez is on the scene. Only a few kilometres from Palma, this situation is unprecedented. Police are in attendance, but the hijacker, Jens Schmitt, remains inside with six hostages. Katya, do the police have any idea of what the hijacker's demands are at this time? No, but it looks like the police are now getting ready to storm the building. You let him disarm you? No, I didn't LET him. He moved fast. I thought it was just a stupid argument, you know? Between him and Kuhl. Things escalated quickly. When this is over, we will talk. Actually, I will talk, and... The door. He's coming out. Sigue mis ordenes. Put your guns down, everyone. Do as he says. Weapons down. Baja las armas. I have demands. I want to talk to someone now - unarmed, no tricks. I should go. He knows me. No, you wait until the trained negotiators arrive. Winter! Hey. Hi. You OK? Yeah, terrific. You? I'm sorry. You. You listen. You should concentrate. Do you have a pen and a paper? Sure. Do as I ask you, or your girlfriend dies. I'm not his girlfriend. She's right. I'm engaged. I don't care. Just...write! OK. Shoot. Wha...? I mean...I'm ready. I want the live streams to be turned on, the entire house, and the world should be seeing this and, um...it should be available on all social medias. And I also have... Write it down! And I also have a hashtag, and that's "JensRocks." "#JensRocks." J? G? It's J. J. J. J. "..Rocks." All right. OK. Good. And then, when I see it's on, I... With no tricks - because not... Then I'll tell you what happens next. OK. Sure. I'll ask. You'll do better than that. In 30 minutes, the show will be up or I'll shoot your fiancee. No. I'm sorry. No, there's been a misunderstanding. He's actually getting married... Misunderstanding? ..to someone else. You're not...? No, HE'S getting married to someone else. I'm with Carmen. She works in a bar in Palma. SHUT UP! GUNS COCK Do it. Go. Make it happen, or she will die. OK. You got it. 30 minutes. Dreissig minuten. So can you make all of this go live? Sure, I can do it. It's all ready to go. Just need to go live with the system. Is that all he wants? For now. And if you broadcast, he'll be able to see it? I turn this on and anyone with a smartphone can watch it. The whole world. Miranda's in there. We don't have a choice. Ines? I won't risk my officer. Do it. OK. That's it. We're now streaming live all the way across Planet Earth. HE CLEARS THROAT I should have eaten something. HE COUGHS LOUDLY What? Can I be excused? No. You're a hostage now. I thought this was obvious. I think what he means is he wants to go to the toilet. That's right, isn't it? Yes. Thank you, Miranda. Oh, you need to piss. I'm afraid so. No, everyone stays in the room. Hold it. I don't think I can. You see, I'm very careful to stay hydrated. For my voice, you know? Which means I drink 500ml every hour. He's right. Hydration's vital. So you need, like, four litres every day of mineral water? I have my own reusable bottle... Jesus Christ... SHUT UP! We have to do something, so maybe you go with him? I go with him so you can all escape from here? Don't try and trick me. No, no-one's trying to do anything. Really. I just... I want to sort this whole situation out without anyone getting hurt. And that means you, too. OK. You can go where I can see you. In the pool. What? No way. No-one is pissing in my pool. I am in charge here. You can just shut up. I bring you to my house as my guest, and you repay me by pointing a gun at me and then pissing in my swimming pool? You scheisse. Maybe I should just shoot you. Then you don't care about the pool so much. OK, please, Jens. He's frightened, OK? Like-like all of us are. I'm not scared of that fat idiot. And some people react differently in a stressful situation, OK? Some people get angry, some people need to pee. I really do drink a lot of water. So go piss in the pool! I actually am going to try and hold it. PHONE BEEPS PHONE CHIMES VARIOUS PHONES BEEP AND CHIME QUIETLY: OK. OK. Fine. We are live. HE CHUCKLES You're not serious. Ja. This is the first part in the plan. And this is the only way I can make her listen to me. Look at that, my feed is going like crazy. Oh, my God. Me too. Oh, OK. "Her?" Who's her? Her? It's Lena. Lena. It's all about Lena. Lena. My Lena. And now it's time for stage two. Get up. PHONES CONTINUE CHIMING And no funny tricks. OK? Go. THEY CHUCKLE You said this is all about Lena? Yeah, Lena. It was about Lena. Who is she? Lena is my girlfriend. You'll find out. I don't want to talk about it right now. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Please don't shoot! Officer coming out! Jens, please, don't do anything stupid. Where is...? Where's this boyfriend? I'm here. Baja las armas. I'm here. You OK? I'm fine, they're all fine. Right. This is what happens next. I am going to perform my song, my way. The cameras will be rolling, and when that's done... ..I come out. That's it. OK. So, no money, nothing political? No. You...just want to sing? That's what I always wanted - to reach out with my music and just explain how I feel. About Lena. Who's Lena? It's Jens' girlfriend. That's right, isn't it? You do... No further questions. The performance is in one hour. It goes out... ..everyone will stay alive. If anyone - if ANYONE - does any tricks, I shoot her. Sure. Sure. I get it. But, Jens... ..look, why not take me instead? What? Why? Because I'm a woman? Or because you think I just can't handle this? I didn't say that. Sorry, what makes you think you'd be a better hostage than me? I just don't want you to die. Hey, it's... Just shut up, OK? She stays. You go. Now. He wants to sing a song? Yeah, that's what he said. But, Ines, honestly, I think he's just crazy. Which is why we need to go in there. And Blake - how is she? She's calm. Good. But if he wants to hurt someone, he'll choose her. The negotiators are flying in from the peninsula. Until they arrive, we do nothing. OK? TV: These live pictures show British police detective Miranda Blake is among the hostages taken by the deranged contestant Jens Schmitt, whose demands still aren't clear at this time. PHONE RINGS HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF I hear... I hear... Hi. Is that your song? No, no, no, no. I'm not doing anything. I just want to talk...about Lena. You must really care about her to do something like this. Did you break up? Lena was the love of my life. I could tell that from the moment we met - we were destined to be together. But then there was this huge... ..misunderstanding... ..and she stopped answering my phone calls, and... Do you know how hurtful that is? Yeah, I can imagine. And then I-I come on this show and... ..I have my chance. I'd sing my song and she'd see it. And then he insists, all of a sudden, to sing some Gershwin bullshit. Excuse me. But... Did you...? Do you have a picture of her? Here. Picture. She's...beautiful, isn't she? Mm. I-I have been working on some lines, I've got some help, but it's...it's... It starts off with, "I wake alone in the night" because it's... I... We used to be together and now I'm lonely. So, "And I turn and switch on the light" cos now... It was dark, but now I can see. I... It's Amazing Grace, you know? Mm-hm. "And then your whisper on my pillow... "..it hurts." And that is from.... From the heart. HE SIGHS Herz. Yeah. GENERAL CHATTER PHONE BEEPS Oh, wow. Check it out. This idiot, he's really gone viral. Damn, Jens, if you had told me that beautiful story of Lena, we could have used it! It's serious. It's my life. I... MOCKING VOICE: Oh, it's serious. It's serious... I should shoot you. Boo-hoo! Shoot me? You haven't got the guts to shoot anyone, because you are a loser. Shut up. Can't sing, can't write, can't even hijack a damn TV show. #JensRocks? I mean, really? Really? Why don't you ask for money, you idiot? Then you can have all the women you want. Not just some dumb chick from Bavaria. You don't talk about her that way. For God's sake, please, just shut up. Come on, then. Shoot me. Show me some balls. Finally! I'll shoot... Come on. Right here! Right here! I swear I'll shoot. Bullshit. You don't shoot anyone. No. Scheisse. He's always making fun of me. And he's insulted Lena. He's poison in my ears. I've had enough. Move out of the way. No. I won't let you shoot him. Come on. Here. Here. No! Listen to me. Yeah, listen to her. You want a chance to perform, right? Look, you've come this far. Don't blow it now. Don't blow it, Jens. You shoot him and they will all come straight in here. No-one will hear your beautiful song and she won't know how you feel. Jens, you know I'm right. Please, think about "Lee-na." "Lae-na." "Lae-na." Oh... QUIETLY: Think about Lena. OK. But we need to shut him up. The tape. Go... Get the tape. The tape is behind me. You fool. You clown. Sit down. Admit that you're getting a kick out of this, Miranda. HE CHUCKLES Absolutely. HE GRUNTS Very good. I think that's enough. It's OK for you? Good. And now, ladies and gentlemen, we are going to sing a little song. I want you to be on guitar. Guitar! And here are notes... ..and lyrics. And I need you to be on synthesiser. And you guys, you guys, you can do backup singing. I'm sorry, Jens, I don't do backup. Yeah, I think it's not where my talents lie. You don't want to sing? OK. Two choices - sing, shot in the head. Shot in the head, sing. I don't know... OK. Yeah? OK. So...tones and notes. Ha-ha-ha. Yeah. So... HE LAUGHS Boop! HE LAUGHS OK, so you need to get up and, you know, lift him up and come, carry him down to the pool. JURGEN MUMBLES * You saw him. He's nuts. We need to go in now. No. We wait until the specialist team arrives. From the mainland? Yes. Are you as crazy as him? Or are you afraid? I am in charge of this operation and I say we wait. We do nothing and Miranda's going to die in there. Listen... ..I-I understand this is personal for you. Believe me, I feel the same. She's my officer, but she would want us to behave like professionals and not hot-headed idiots. Winter! OK. On my count. One, two, three, four. THEY PLAY CHEERING MUSIC STOPS What's wrong? Sorry, I'm just a bit... It's not that complicated. It's D, A minor and C, OK? Just play the goddamn song! GUN COCKS HE PANTS Actually, I think I'm having a panic attack. JENS LAUGHS I can play it. You? Sure. Yeah, I took lessons as a kid. No way? OK. Switch, then. Hurry up. Lazy feet. Wonderful. These kinds of things happen on live TV. Deutsche Musik. Ja. OK. So we're on it again for the last time. This is for you, Lena. One, two, three and four. THEY PLAY Now you sing. Yeah, yeah... # I wake alone in the night # I turn to switch on the light # I hear your whisper on my pillow # It hurts me # I walk the streets like a whore # Look for the one I adore # All I want is for a chance to explain # Mm-hmm Mm-hmm # Do you remember how it used to be? # The nights of passion, of ecstasy # Please hear this song of apologies # Let me love you # Again # Oh, Lena # Let me love you... # Come on. # Oh, Lena... # # Let me heal the pain # Oh, Lena... # CROWD SING ALONG # Let me kiss you # Oh, Lena # Let me love you # Oh, Lena # Let me heal the pain # Oh, Lena... # Dammit. It's Winter! # Let me kiss you # Oh, Lena # Make us whole... # Winter is inside. Dentro. Vamos. Go, go, go! Come on! Palma police. Drop the weapon. Back off. I mean it! SHOCKED CHATTER Put your gun down now! THEY CHANT: Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! What do I do? What should I do? I don't know what to do. This is not part of the plan. Jens... For God sakes, get out of the way! Jens... ..listen to me. I know what's happened. He's put you up to this, right? He's planned it all. He wrote the song, used your story, your love for Lena. And I bet you that he's told you that everything is going to be OK. That you'll walk out of here a hero. Probably the most famous man in Germany. Am I right? Yeah, or else he would say that I would be put off the show. I know, I understand, but you need to trust me. Your life is in real danger, and if you don't put that gun down now, you will be killed. THEY CHANT: Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Don't shoot! Jens, can't you see what he's trying to do? This is exactly what he wants - your death live on screen. You're the sacrifice. You're not the hero. Please don't be his fool, don't give him that satisfaction. Give it to me. Please. Give me the gun. Thank you. I've got it. CHEERING Scheisse... Whoo! That was brilliant. TV: The siege appears to have ended peacefully thanks to the bravery of these two police officers. We will try to interview them shortly, but for now, back to Katya Cortez outside... CHEERING # Oh, Lena # Let me love you # Oh, Lena # Let me heal the pain # Oh, Lena # Make us whole # Again. # I love that ending. Genius. I mean, epic. The way you bonded with him there, Miranda, there was real compassion there. Much better than my clumsy tragedy. Pathos, tenderness. Beauty saves the Beast. Honestly, I almost cried. You would have watched him die. Me? No, not me. Them. Out there. Real life, detective. You remember? You think I'm Nero? No, I'm not the emperor. They are. You are all emperors, and every day you insist on blood. I simply serve my masters - what they demand, I provide. For that I'm guilty as charged, so... ..lock me up! Incitement to murder, false imprisonment and fraud. OK. But all you've got is a pretty crazy guy as your only witness. And I've got pretty good lawyers. Vamos. You should thank me. You both are heroes now, whether you like it or not. My two best supporting actors. JURGEN LAUGHS Salud! Salud. Salud. Prost. So, how does it feel to be engaged to a national hero? I never gave you my answer. I know, I know, I know. You were like, "Hmmm...." .."I'll think about it." Uh... Max, you risked your life for her. Yeah, of course, she's my partner. Christian said something to me today. Actions speak louder than words. And you're listening to Christian? I think it's right. * It was pretty stupid, what you did today. You could have been killed. HE LAUGHS Any time. I saw you talking to Carmen. Yeah. So, when's the big day? She wants to wait. I mean, we're both too young and good-looking, right? Oh, definitely! THEY CHUCKLE SHE SIGHS Oh... You think they got my good side? I think Kuhl was right about the camera. I really need to lose 5lbs. Detective Blake? Ma'am. So, obviously, this is a tiny issue. I didn't know how they'd react to this kind of attention. I was just doing my job. Which is why it's so positive. A British police officer saving a German's life on a Spanish island. It seems the optics are perfect for the way we want to position ourselves going forward. Oh. That's great. All European friends together, etc. We're expecting you back on Monday, Detective Sergeant. It's just... ..my life is here now... ..I think. You're quite sure? Companeros, right? HE LAUGHS Yeah. Companeros. THEY LAUGH # We've got time on our side # It's never too late # If you want me now # It's gonna have to wait # Whoa-oh # Ooh-ooh-ooh. # Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Able 2020