- I'm Alex Gilbert, and I spent the first two years of my life in a Russian orphanage. In 1994, I was adopted and brought to New Zealand. I had a great Kiwi childhood. But I couldn't help feeling like something was missing. So eight years ago, I set out to find my birth family. Privet. Hello. 'It was the best decision of my life.' Hello. 'And now I help others do the same.' So, how can I help? - I have tried to look for my family, and I've had no luck. - Do you have any memories from the orphanage? - No, I can't remember a single thing. - Countless people across the world just like me want to reconnect with their missing families. - We're really happy for her. - Hey. - Welcome to Saint Petersburg. - It's more emotional than what I've ever considered. - Good luck. - (SOBS) - Join us on these amazing journeys as we cross continents to see families reunited. Captions by Julie Taylor. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 I'm here in sunny Los Angeles, California, to meet Daria, who was adopted into the USA 22 years ago from Russia. - So, I live in Los Angeles, California, and I love it. I've been out here for, like, almost three years now. I model and act out here. One week I could be booked every single day, multiple times throughout the day, and then the next week not too much goin on. (LAUGHS) I'm either super busy or, like, super relaxed. - The move to Los Angeles from her small town in Michigan has been huge for Daria. - I feel like I'm living the dream. I just put a lot of pressure on myself, so I'm like` I wanna do more and more and more. Compared to Michigan ` my life in Michigan ` this is definitely the dream, yeah. - She's a long way from the confused and angry 6-year-old who arrived in Michigan in 1997 with vivid memories of life in Saint Petersburg, Russia. - I have a lot of bad memories over good ones. I remember living with my birth father up until I was around, I think, 4 years old. He was an alcoholic. I think he was, like, depressed, if I have it right. I would just remember him coming home and, like, being drunk. My mom wasn't around. I've just been told that she had passed away. - After her adoption, young Daria started to process these memories by keeping a journal. - I don't remember actually writing in them. It seemed like I would, like, write these stories, these memories that I have. I would draw them out. - They include details of life with a birth father. - He one time, like, offered me vodka, and I was like, maybe, like, 4 years old or something. And I was like, no. Like, I knew I can't drink that. (LAUGHS) There was one time when he took me fishing, and it was nice, cos I'm like, oh, he wants to, you know, take me out and do something with me. I remember that moment so intensely. - That fishing trip was to turn 4-year-old Daria's life upside down. Her dad was injured landing a swordfish and took Daria with him to hospital. - The nurse had noticed that I was being, you know, probably neglected. I was malnourished. I think I had lice. I just wasn't being taken care of. And she took me into an orphanage, like, right then and there. They were not good experiences. As soon as I got in there, they shaved me bald, like, immediately. (LAUGHS) Completely bald. So, um... And I think it's cos I had lice. Um... And then I went in, and I saw the other kids, and they were all laughing at me and calling me a boy. And it was just a horrible experience right away. I just remember always asking where my dad was. (CHUCKLES SADLY) Um... - Over the next two years, Daria was sent to three different orphanages. She never stopped asking for her dad. - And then in the last orphanage, he did come to visit, and I was... very mad. (LAUGHS) I was very angry. I was very stubborn. I think it was a short visit, and I don't know if it was, like, to say goodbye or to, like, send me off or, like, to show me that he's trying. I was just so angry and just so upset. - That short visit was the last time Daria saw her birth father. - I've been a very bitter, angry, stubborn kind of person. My birth father coming to visit ` I think the stubbornness started from there. You know, and even in the back of my mind, I'm like, was I so stubborn that I pushed him away? But I can't` You know, I can't blame that on myself. I was a child. I didn't know. I would just want him to know that I'm OK... (CHUCKLES) and I love him... (SOBS) and I do forgive him... (SNIFFLES) and I think about him all the time. - Daria has no memory of her mother or any other family member. And at the age of 6, she was taken to the USA for adoption, away from her country of birth and her only connection with her birth family. - When I was adopted and I flew out of Russia, I felt that I was leaving something or someone behind. - Daria's new life began, but not surprisingly, she found it hard to fit in. - The family was very family-oriented, and I've never really had that experience ` a healthy family, safety, stability ` I haven't had any of those things. It was a lot for me to take in, and to me, it was too much. I was, like, really overwhelmed. - The family was unprepared for dealing with a traumatised child in need of special care and attention. - I was just very problematic. I had, um,... probably, like, PTSD or, you know, something like that. And I didn't know how to express what was going on, cos I was still so little. And I had all these emotions built up. I didn't know what to do about it, so I was acting out. I needed a lot more care, and love was not enough. - Despite all, Daria became deeply attached to the family. She was devastated when Child Protection Services eventually intervened to move her. - I just was really sad. I was just really sad. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SOBS SOFTLY) This is all stuff I guess I haven't really thought on too much. Yeah. I think I was just really sad cos I was, like... I guess I didn't feel good enough even though I loved them. (SNIFFLES) I knew I was, like, causing trouble, so I blamed it on me. - Daria had already experienced more than her fair share of rejection and loss. She needed a family that could accept her and nurture her with love and understanding. In a small town in Michigan, William and Nancy Rottenberk were planning to start a family. - Having children was always absolutely part of our plan. - Yeah. Two, probably. (CHUCKLES) And it just` it just wasn't in the cards for us. - We were a little surprised to find out that we weren't able to have any. We got into the adoption programme. It didn't need to have to be an infant necessarily, but we were scared about, you know, getting an older child that might have a lot of problems or something like that, cos we'd never been parents. - But on a visit to the adoption agency, William was shown Daria's picture. - So I brought the picture home. I was all excited. I showed it to Nancy, and I said, 'This is it.' And she's like, 'Pump the brakes.' - Well, I had just got home from work. I still had my coat on and my purse on my shoulder. And he's like, 'Look. Look at her. Isn't she cute?' And I was like, 'Whoa. That's a big baby.' (CHUCKLES) - (CHUCKLES) So, yeah, then that` - She was 9. - After a little consideration and talking and things like that, we decided to move forward with it. And thank goodness we did. - Daria now needed to try and adjust to a new family once again. - We just really allowed her to have her own space, let her get comfortable at her pace. You know, we didn't try to smother her or tell her it was gonna be OK or anything like that, because it's not OK. - With the Rottenberks, I would just tell them thank you ` I guess thank you for giving me that space... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SNIFFLES) even though I didn't know I needed it. Yeah. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - Daria put her past behind her. Life was finally falling into place as she grew up with the Rottenberks. Eventually, the family adopted again, and Daria became an older sister to two brothers. Like many adoptees, as Daria entered her adult life, she became more preoccupied with her past. - I just feel really alone. (SNIFFLES) And I know I have people around me. I know I have people that love me, like, my family and friends, but I feel really alone. And... it's because I have this piece that's not answered... and a void, and I need answers. I need 'em. A lot of people in my life have had told me you have to be OK with not having answers. And I don't agree with that, and I never will. And I, like, am owning that, and I'm proud of that now, because that's not OK. I'm not OK with that, and I'm never gonna be. - Daria, hello. - Hi! - 'So this is where I enter the picture.' How are you? - Good. - 'Daria's reached out to me for help finding those answers.' - And, you know, all my friends and family are telling me, like, what has happened has already happened and I can't change anything about it, and I think the fact that I have memories, that's what's keeping me so passionate about it. - So, I understand you've already done some research on your birth father. What did you find? - Basically just my birth name, which is Valentina Anatolyevna Eremenko. And my middle name would mean 'daughter of Anatoly', so I figured out that my birth father's name must be Anatoly Eremenko. - So you have to understand there is a bit of a risk. It can be hard, and we may not be able to find anything. What would you think if we did the research or we tracked something down and he wasn't alive any more? - Mm. I'm very, like, gut and heart, like, feeling. (LAUGHS) Um... I j` I think he's alive, so I'm really going with that, but I would definitely be devastated, and I would want to just have answers on what happened with that too, and I would wanna know about his life. - 'This is going to be a challenge, not just for Daria but for me.' Her childhood in Russia was chaotic, and after 20 years, there may be nothing left to find. Her childhood in Russia was chaotic, and after 20 years, there may be nothing left to find. - LA-based adoptee Daria has vivid memories of her early life in Russian orphanages. - I just remember always asking where my dad was. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Um... - She was taken to the US for adoption and never saw her dad again. - I would just want him to know, um, that I'm OK... (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) and I love him... (SOBS) - I've taken on the challenge of trying to track down Daria's birth family. Daria reached out to me through I'm Adopted, a charity I founded to provide a support network for adoptees around the world. My own search to find my birth family has given me a headstart in helping others. But Daria knows so little about her background, that so far, I'm stumped. I've put feelers out through social networks and my contacts in online adoptions groups. But now it's a waiting game. Daria's scraps of information did allow me to narrow down the area of Saint Petersburg she came from, and that could be our best hope. I can only get so far at a distance. - Hey, Alex. - Hello. How are you? - Good. How are you? - I'm good. I'm good. - Come on in. - 'So it's time to break the news to Daria and see if she's up for a trip.' I have been trying to find some information about your family. - Mm-hm. - It's one of the hardest searches I've ever done. - I figured. I know. I tried. (LAUGHS) - And at this stage, we haven't found anything right now. I have a plan, though. The thing that we need to do now is actually go there. - (EXHALES) - Me and you need to go to Saint Petersburg, go back to the place that you were in, the home, and try and find some information like that. - OK. (LAUGHS) OK. (LAUGHS, SNIFFLES) - You'd like to do that? - LAUGHS: Yes. I'm just thinking of Saint Petersburg. Yeah. Definitely. I wanna go back. - It's hard when you're not there, and the best way is really` the only way is just being there and going through all the processes. I'll talk to my friends. They're willing to help. So we'll do all that. - CHUCKLES: OK. - And we'll just` we'll make it happen. - OK. - 'Returning to the country she was taken from as a hurt and angry 6-year-old 'is a huge deal for Daria.' - (SNIFFLES) It's just scary... that it's, like, actually coming together. - You really wanna find your roots, and that's what this is all about. 'It's a very personal journey, but we adoptees are very aware that we are not the only ones affected 'when we try to reconnect with our birth family.' - Definitely my dad is gonna be happy for me. I think, um, he's gonna feel like he's losing a part of me too. - Prior to me going to see my birth parents, my mum and dad were very anxious about me going. I felt like, you know, I was kind of letting them down in a way. You get that feeling, like, 'I shouldn't be doing this.' - Yeah. - But of course every parent's gonna be nervous, thinking, 'Oh, is she gonna stay there? Will she come back?' My parents` - Yeah. We just haven't talked about it. But, yeah, I'm sure we will. (LAUGHS) - Every parent gets anxious about it. What do you think if we go there and we don't find anything? - Talking about my story and, like, understanding everything I went through my own self, like... I've been, you know` I've been reopening myself up and not being as closed off, but I still, you know... It's still a part of me that I wanna work on more, and this has been really good just for that, not just the whole just Russia and everything. (LAUGHS) But this has been good for me, so... - Hopefully we can find your birth father and find out what happened to your birth mother. - Mm-hm. - That's` That's... That's my end goal, and I'm not going to stop until I find something. - (LAUGHS) - OK? - OK. - That's all right? - LAUGHS: Yeah. Thank you. - Hey, no worries. - (LAUGHS) - A few months and 24 hours of travel later, Daria finally makes it to her birth city Saint Petersburg. So much history here, and I know Daria can't wait to take it all in. Liking this area? - I do. It's really pretty. 'I feel a lot of things ` excited, surreal. 'It's a lot of sensory overload. 'You can't prepare for that. That's a physical experience, 'especially with the memories and stuff too. 'I felt like I'm home again. Like, I felt content but also a sense of unknown. 'It's so beautiful. Downtown, it's so beautiful,' but I also feel disconnected because I don't remember a lot of it. And I wish I did. It's sad. (SNIFFLES) You know, I also think in the back of my head, like, well, what if I have birth family here and they don't even know I'm here, and I don't have access because it's been so difficult? And it's scary because I don't know what's gonna happen and how I'm gonna feel. But also really excited, cos everyone is so excited for me. And excited to just connect to Russia as a whole. - The first step is to visit the birth and registration office to see what information they have on file. Daria has to be here in person, as it's private information that they can only provide to her. - I really was hoping for an official document that kind of stated Valentina Eremenko, my Russian name, my birth name. Even though that's not (CHUCKLES) answering any of my story, it would make me feel... I don't even know, validated. WHISPERS: Yeah. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. - But today delivers Daria's first big disappointment. The document she's given only has her American name from her first adoption. - Yeah. (CHUCKLES) I was expecting Valentina Eremenko at least printed or something on a nice document. You know, when you see something like this, it's just like... that's not me, so it's like` this is, like, fake. (LAUGHS) - It's not your own` - It's not my choice. It's not my choice. I think that's the biggest part, so... They basically were passed down some info; they just withheld it or threw it out or whatever. So it sucks. I mean, it would've been great to have a stack of information of anything on my, you know, previous identity, but I understand that's not how Russia works. - So far there's a deathly silence from the Russian communities I've reached out to on social media. I'm holding on to the fact that I've just found out the name of the area where Daria was born. Then, just as we are running out of time, we get a breakthrough. - I'm helping Russian-American adoptee Daria to track down her birth family. - When I was adopted and I flew out of Russia, I felt that I was leaving something or someone behind. - Me and you need to go to Saint Petersburg. - OK. (LAUGHS) OK. - The official documents we were counting on proved to be a dead end. - They basically were passed down some info; they just withheld it or threw it out or whatever. What if I have birth family here and they don't even know I'm here, and I don't have access? - But the call I put out on social media has finally paid off. Thanks to a local contact, we now have the address of where Daria lived with her father before she was taken to the orphanage. I've asked my translator Lada and local orphanage volunteer Nargiza to help me check it out. On the way in, we were lucky enough to meet one of the original residents. - Let's go to the apartment. 'Luck is with us again, 'as we get to Daria's old home just in time to catch the current occupant on her way out.' - Nothing. - So the apartment was in very bad condition. There was fire. There were drunkards there. And there were cockroaches everywhere. - Yeah, the door was barely... closed. - So someone was knocking on doors at nights and trying to... - Somebody was knocking on doors here? - Yes, during three years. - For three years? - When they moved in, yeah. So, they were, like, old friends of Daria's parents, supposedly. - We're no closer to finding Daria's birth father or even whether he's still alive. But everything we've been told does back up the disturbing memories that Daria has of life with her dad. It's time to fill in Daria on what we've found out so far. Well, we've been able to get some information for you over the last few days. - OK. (CHUCKLES) - Daria, what names do you know of your birth parents? - Um, I think I have an idea of my birth dad's name. My middle name would have been 'daughter of Anatoly', and then my last name Eremenko, so I assume Anatoly Eremenko. - You're right. Your birth father's name is Anatoly, and when you were born, he was 41. So he's 71 now. - Oh! - And your birth mother's name was Evgeniya. - WHISPERS: OK. - And she was` She's 64 now. - So old. (LAUGHS) - Yeah. - WHISPERS: Oh my God. That's so old. I don't know. It just makes me, like, feel... I don't remember him being older. Um... And it makes me feel like he` there's just... (SOBS SOFTLY) like he's not alive. I always had this idea of... they were younger and couldn't make it work, poverty, you know, these things ` just rough life. But I think when you're older, I have this different perception that's like, well, why couldn't you get it together more? So it really just shocked me. - We've also got an address of where you were before you went to your first orphanage. - OK. - So, what do you think? - (LAUGHS) Uh, I'll definitely know. I have very vivid` very vivid... pictures in my head about it. - So you would like to go and see? - Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It'll put all the pieces together that I always second-guessed. - And you've never known any of that information. - Only my memories; that's it. - Only memories. - Yeah. It's good to have the confirmation, though, and to physically be here to` even though it's a lot, to experience it and actually know I'm not really crazy and I had this experience. It's almost like me not believing sometimes and me second-guessing and all these things, but I would write about it and journal it, but then I'm like, well, was I just making things up cos I'm little? Or was this, like, very true and real? - Before we go to the apartment, we visit Daria's first orphanage, now transformed into a kindergarten. Right. - (LAUGHS) - How are you feeling? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It feels familiar, but I don't know if I, like, remember. Where would I have, like, walked in? I remember walking. I'm, like` I... That's the main thing I remember is, like, walking from somewhere. - From down this way? - (NARGIZA SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - LADA: It was exactly there. - Yeah, I don't remember all of this. I think I just, like, probably stored it all away. (CHUCKLES) EMOTIONALLY: Cos this I don't remember. I remember the walk over here. I don't remember this. (SOBS, SNIFFLES) That's where I left` That's where I left my birth father. That's what matters. (SNIFFLES) That's what matters. (EXHALES HEAVILY) I don't know if I'll remember more things inside. (GENTLE PIANO MUSIC) I've always had this fantasy idea that a lot of us adoptees have is I was wanted, I wasn't given up. I truly have always felt that way ` like I was taken away from my birth father. (EXHALES, CHUCKLES) It's just so weird. It's so weird being here. The first thing I felt when I came in was, like... like, my heart sank... like I've been here before. - Yeah? - Yeah. But I don't remember it, so it's very weird. It's hard to explain how it feels. I don't see anything that rings a bell, but I feel it, and that's` that's enough. - Exploring her past brings up mixed emotions for Daria as she begins to process her memories and her feelings about her birth father. - Just the fact that he came to visit me in the last orphanage, I've always really held on to that, and I just am starting to feel a little bit reassured that it was love behind it, even if there was bad memories. I've always felt that, but I think me being here is... I'm processing how difficult the system is, and it makes me also sad that if he is still living that, like, there's probably a lot of pain that he's lived because of that ` just as much as I have. - Tomorrow we'll take Daria to revisit the apartment building where she lived with her dad for the first four years of her life. - Russian-American adoptee Daria is desperately trying to reconnect with her birth family after being adopted at the age of 6. - I just feel really alone. - Being back in Saint Petersburg is triggering difficult memories of her early years. - That's where I left my birth father. That's what matters. - After visiting the site of her first orphanage, we're now going further back in time, taking Daria to the apartment block where she lived with her dad. Yeah, this is where you were raised ` right in this apartment block right here. - Wow. - Do you remember`? What do you remember from this area? - (EXHALES) Oh, yeah. I definitely remember building and then playground and then another building. Yeah, I mean, I remember coming over and there` I was always by myself. Like, my birth dad always left. I remember the playground. I did not wanna play with any of the kids. - (LAUGHS) - I was like, 'I'm beyond this.' (LAUGHS) - Yeah. - I feel, like, at peace here and also I'm, like... No doubt, I know where I'm at. And this is exactly how I remember it. The playground was exactly what I pictured and I remembered. (CHUCKLES) I don't remember playing in it. I remember having a sense of feeling, like, have to be older ` I can't play; I have to act older; I have to... I can't be a kid; I have to take care of myself. You know, there was no, like, toys; there was no TV; there's nothing. And, you know, my birth dad was an alcoholic, and I had to... know how to be an older person. I don't choose to stay mad at that. I choose to, like, forgive that. EMOTIONALLY: So that's why me being back here, I can do that. (SOBS) I can do that. I've held on to that for so long. And I don't know, like, where he is or what happened, but, like... (INHALES DEEPLY) I just have love. At the end of the day, I have love. Cos I don't know what he was going through himself. (SNIFFLES) I can't blame him, but also, yeah, it sucks. (CHUCKLES) Like, I didn't deserve any of that. And I didn't have to grow up so fast. (GENTLE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC) - I've not been able to contact the current occupant since my first visit. But we decide to chance our luck on getting in. - Wow. OK. Upstairs? - The second floor. - Wow! I remember this. Oh my God. (LAUGHS) It was a really weird feeling when I was walking up. I actually felt like a physical` I remembered where I was, and I turned and I saw the door, and I'm like, whoa. Like, I remember this. Yeah, this is it. Oh my God. Wow. It always felt so much higher up, but I'm sure, you know, being a little kid, it felt so long ` the stairs and stuff. Yeah, this is definitely it, though. Yeah, that's crazy. It's crazy. It was a sense of relief to see all this, but I think I remembered it so well that it was also just, 'Oh yeah. This is it.' It was real, and I felt very at peace. Even though it's been so much time, it feels like all the memories and the pictures that I have ` just kind of connecting those pieces was very satisfying and sad. - Luck wasn't with us today ` no one's home. I'm going to have to break it to Daria that we've reached a dead end in our search for her family. But just as we are leaving... (CELL PHONE RINGS) ...Nargiza gets some news that changes everything. - Nargiza just got a phone call, and we found out you had an auntie that was coming here, and she was helping you sometimes. - OK. (CHUCKLES) - 1994, 1993 were hard times in Russia, and your auntie just couldn't adopt you, because she also had her children, and she just couldn't support any more. That's why you were placed into the orphanage. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - And so she's still alive, and we found her. - (SOBS) No! - And she lives in Saint Petersburg, and we know the address. We actually found two aunties and one cousin. - Oh my God. Oh, that's awesome. First I'm thinking this is insane cos it's been so many dead ends, and it's all happening now when I'm here, and it's just really intense and just a lot of questions. You know, and I'm also thinking, like, how much do they know about me? Do they remember me? Does my aunt remember me? I hope she was close with her brother, my father. Like, I hope that I can get some information and connect and that they are open. - The address Nargiza has been given is actually for Daria's cousin. Incredibly, it's not far away, so with only a couple of days left before we leave Russia, we head straight over there. We are arriving out of the blue, so Nargiza goes ahead to make the first contact. - I'm shaking. I'm, like, so nervous. Aargh! - It's unexpected for them. - Yeah, I know. - Unexpected for you. - I know. It's gonna be a lot for them too. I'm thinking about that. I was freaking out. (CHUCKLES) I just remember I was shaking. I was so nervous. And I don't think I've ever been that nervous in my entire life. I don't know what's gonna happen. I don't know if they're there. - Ooh, she's talking, she's talking. - Aargh! Oh my gosh. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - Looks like she's going in. - (EXHALES) - She's in. - But how do`? What did`? What did she say? What did she say to her to even get let in? - Must be good stuff. - (LAUGHS) Very scary. I don't know how she's gonna respond. I don't know if she remembers me. I don't know how much of a shock it is. Yeah. Aah! - Super! (LAUGHS) - Good. Super. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - So, what happened? - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - So, we're just waiting for your cousin to come right now. - Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. - 'We don't have long to wait.' - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - 'She gave me a bug hug, and then we were rocking back and forth.' I'm shaking. I'm nervous. - How does she remember? - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - OK, so you had two aunties. The first one, she's dead, unfortunately. But the second one who lives a little bit far from here, but we're gonna call her. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - ALEX: Daria's dad is still elusive, but we are finally getting somewhere. Tomorrow, Daria will meet her auntie and find out what she can tell her about her story. - When you're choosing what to do, the choice feels huge. - I chose to make sure we've got power... - ...everywhere we need it! - I chose to get new skills to send me and the whanau right. - I chose to find better ways to make stuff. - I chose to earn as I learn. - With vocational education and training, the choice is yours. - We've had our first real breakthrough in the search for adoptee Daria's birth family. We are now heading a few hours south of Saint Petersburg. We are on the way to meet Daria's auntie, her dad's younger sister. - (EXHALES) Scared. Terrified. Terrified. (CHUCKLES) Yeah. - After more than 20 years, Daria is finally getting chance to reconnect with her past. - It's just so scary not knowing anything about them, but they know about me. And I had this feeling that they over-love me. (LAUGHS) Like, it was gonna be too overwhelming for me. And I have a hard time accepting that, and it's` it's a lot. Just the openness and the love, I'm not, like` not ready to receive that. (CHUCKLES) I was never expecting to meet anybody, so it's a lot of pressure. - The moment we arrive, Daria's aunt Elena is waiting. - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - Oh, shaking, shaking, shaking. - What is she saying? - LADA: She's saying, 'You're my sweet one, my honey.' - I'm shaking. Oh man. I've never hugged anyone like this ` (LAUGHS) this deep so quick. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. - She says you look like your mum. - Aw! (LAUGHS) - Yeah, she was beautiful and sweet and not so tall, just like you. - (LAUGHS) Short. - Yeah, and she saw her a couple of times. - Da. - Your father was tall. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - Do you remember your dad? - I don't remember how he looks. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - They were trying to find your dad and also you by social media, but they didn't get anything. - Really? Really? - Yeah. - Oh my gosh. How long? How long? - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - So since 2015, they were trying to find... - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) 'There's much more to come as we move inside to meet other members of her family.' - This is for you. (CHUCKLES) - Spasibo. - Pozhaluysta. (CHUCKLES) This is so nerve-racking. Oh my gosh. - Anatoly. Anatoly. - Your father. - Da. - Wow! Wow. (CHUCKLES) Oh boy. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - So, this is your father when he was small. And this is your other aunt. - Oh! Auntie brings out the photos, and I just was not prepared. It was very fast. It happened very fast. And then all of a sudden, she's like, 'There's your birth father. There's Anatoly.' - So, this is your dad. This is the photo from the army. And it's written, 'To my sister. 'In memory of me serving in Germany.' Yes, he's 18 here. - It's just so crazy to see a photo. It's very crazy. I could see myself in him. I could see the face (LAUGHS) and... Oh, that was really cool. - The last time they saw him was in 1993. And then he disappeared. And he was at his mum's funeral. - Oh, wow. Um... Do`? And have they been searching and just` doesn't know? - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - Yeah, they've been searching, and they made a request with the police or something. Yeah, but nobody can figure out where he is. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - This is his diploma. So, he liked drawing. He was a good painter. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - And he was carving out of wood some statues. - Wow. Artistic. I get that from him. - Yeah. And then, like, his behaviour is, like, A+. His behaviour was A+. - Oh! Same, same, same. (LAUGHTER) - Yeah, so he didn't drink. He gave all the money to his parents, I guess. - What? What? What happened? - (CHUCKLES) He didn't drink. He gave all the money to his family. So he was a good guy. He was supporting the family. He was a good man. - I just remember him drinking all the time. (SNIFFLES) I do forgive him, because I didn't know that I had to forgive him when I first started this journey. I'm really focused on the moment of when he came to visit me in the orphanage. I don't know. I feel like I would want him... (SNIFFLES) (EXHALES) I don't want him to, like, hold guilt either, cos I feel like he would if it's, like, the same blood in us, like... I feel like he could, you know? If he's still alive and, like, holds all this guilt, cos I don't know why he visited and left. I don't know if he was trying or what it is. But he visited, and that's huge... to me, so it's, like, I know that he loves me and he was at least trying to do something. So I know... I hope he didn't, like, hold guilt all these years. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - They're asking you about the family. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) Boyfriend. - (LAUGHS) Oh, you guys are so funny. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - I feel very loved. I do. I feel overwhelmed with it right now. (CHUCKLES) And the information. (CHUCKLES) I'm a puzzle piece in this story just as much as they've been searching, and now we can, you know, share this in common and share this together. Oh, don't cry, don't cry, don't cry. We'll stay in touch somehow. Somehow I'll figure it out. Oh, I can't handle it. - (SPEAKS RUSSIAN) - I can't handle. - After years of feeling abandoned as a child, it's never been easy for Daria to trust and open up to people. - I don't know how that feels ` the unconditional love. EMOTIONALLY: I can't comprehend that yet. Biologically, it's very different. It's very natural, and it's not` there's nothing more... (SNIFFLES, EXHALES) It's very different than, like, adoptive family. It's a different type of love. It's very... just natural; that's all it is. No effort at all. (CHUCKLES) And it feels very amazing, but it's also going to take a lot of time to process and accept that I have family that I found, cos, like, that's pretty insane to me. (CHUCKLES) This is something that most people have naturally, and I worked my whole life for this ` like, my whole entire life. - Daria's found both a closure of sorts and a new beginning. She has one more thing to do before returning to her life in LA. - And when I lit that candle, it was just for both my birth mother and father. Kind of just to say, like, (VOICE BREAKS) I'm here and I did this. I did this for them. I reconnected to my memories, and that's what has been the most traumatic part of my life but also the most full circle. - Daria's experience was life-changing, and now she's helping other adoptees connect with each other as an ambassador for I'm Adopted. - In our adopted family, there's four of us that are adopted. - I take young Invercargill mum Anya back to Saint Petersburg,... - She must have cared about me a lot to keep these. - ...uncovering a mystery... The family connections do not make sense. ...that transforms everything. - Who you think people are, are not who they are.