Login Required

This content is restricted to University of Auckland staff and students. Log in with your username to view.

Log in

More about logging in

Adam and Shruti struggle to help vulnerable patients, a politician visiting the ward makes everyone's lives harder, and Adam makes some big steps in his personal life.

Set in a hospital labour ward with all its hilarity and heart-warming highs but also its gut-wrenching lows, This Is Going to Hurt delivers a brutally honest depiction of life as a junior doctor on the wards, and the toll the job can take on personal lives.

Primary Title
  • This Is Going to Hurt
Date Broadcast
  • Sunday 3 July 2022
Start Time
  • 21 : 35
Finish Time
  • 22 : 30
Duration
  • 55:00
Episode
  • 3
Channel
  • TVNZ 1
Broadcaster
  • Television New Zealand
Programme Description
  • Set in a hospital labour ward with all its hilarity and heart-warming highs but also its gut-wrenching lows, This Is Going to Hurt delivers a brutally honest depiction of life as a junior doctor on the wards, and the toll the job can take on personal lives.
Episode Description
  • Adam and Shruti struggle to help vulnerable patients, a politician visiting the ward makes everyone's lives harder, and Adam makes some big steps in his personal life.
Classification
  • 16
Owning Collection
  • Chapman Archive
Broadcast Platform
  • Television
Languages
  • English
Captioning Languages
  • English
Captions
Live Broadcast
  • No
Rights Statement
  • Made for the University of Auckland's educational use as permitted by the Screenrights Licensing Agreement.
Subjects
  • Television programs--United Kingdom
Genres
  • Comedy
  • Drama
Hey, someone! Look, find a doctor. She's fainted. I think she's having a fit. Is anyone here a doctor? We need a doctor! Anyone? Are you...? A GP. Dentist. Trainee dentist. BELL RINGS TANNOY: Please be seated, ladies and gentlemen... Ah, right. ..as the second half is about to commence. Shit. Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry. The locum didn't turn up. I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you if it's the last thing I do. I think this might be the last thing you do. Hi. Hi. How was the first half, then? Oh, my God, the, the music and the costumes.... And how do they remember all the words? It's really... It was awful. I think you could hear Stephen Sondheim spinning in his grave. I think he's still alive, isn't he? Poor man. Could I grab anyone a drink from the bar before the...? Plus, we were saddled with an understudy, with barely ten minutes' notice. That is really annoying. Which part? Would your friend like a chocolate? Boyfriend, actually. TICKING HE GASPS Stop fidgeting! I don't know if Adam mentioned, but we'd love to take you for dinner. Oh, we should probably get off, actually. You sure we can't tempt you for a quick bite? We've got a table booked at this little French place on Poland Street. My friend's a waiter there. Well... I'll call you in a couple of weeks. Fucking hell. The handshakes. To be fair, she always used to give me a nice hug when she dropped me off at school. And a note saying, "Have a successful term." I'm normally great with mums. It's a shame you were late. Well, I can't do half a Caesarean, can I? I know. It's just... it wasn't quite, "We'll tell her over a nice dinner," was it? Oh, she's known ever since she caught me wanking off to He-Man. Look on the bright side. You're never gonna have to sit next to her at the top table now, are you? I never said never. Didn't say yes, though, either, did you? No, I said that... You know what I said. And you agreed. Do you wanna grab a drink? How about ten? Why don't you have another go? Because... Give her a call and take her out for dinner. ..you would have to prise my cold dead hands from the phone. For me? She's not gonna be able to do this week anyway. It's a full moon. HE HOWLS WHISPERS: That's it. Nice big breaths. Did you know that if you spread out the surface area of your lungs and put them on a football pitch... ..that's an instant red card and a direct free kick? Don't listen to anything your mum says, by the way. She's just a bit upset with me. So's my mum, actually. Maybe it's a mum thing. Oh, and Harry is, too. Maybe it's a...a people thing. BACKGROUND CHATTER Hi! Oh! Oh, God, sorry. Fuck's sake. Is that your statement? Not even started mine yet. Well, I've only managed seven words and a coffee stain. Get me a latte. Bring it up to labour ward. Please. Tell me you don't have to work with that twat. Er, who, Adam? Oh, er, no, he's all right, really. Shit, sorry. I didn't mean to be rude about your friend. I was trying to... I'm Ben. That's my name. Obviously. Er, Shruti. I know. I mean... Do you like eating pizza? That sounds like I'm saying you're fat. I don't think you're fat. I think you're not fat. I... I think I'm gonna just start again. I'm Ben. Would you like to go for something to eat, for example, a pizza? Er, yeah, that sounds nice. Great. Er, when? Like, tonight? Oh, er... Tomorrow? Saturday? March? Er, tomorrow. Tomorrow... Tomorrow could work. But it's just us three, right? Like, you, me and Adam? BEN LAUGHS I'll meet you round the front, like seven...ish? Yep. Er, Beatrice, you're in Room Two. Second baby. Apparently she's Jason Orange's cousin. ALL: Ooh! Do with that knowledge as you will. Room Three is to remain empty for the next 24 hours, I'm afraid. The only good room? Yeah, so no water births. The Secretary of State for God knows what is coming around tomorrow, so I'm assuming that we all wanna keep our jobs. They must think the entire NHS smells like fresh paint. Still, new computer. It's been years since I've been able to type words with G in it. LAUGHTER I wouldn't get too attached, love. Once the right honourable bastard has done his little tour, that'll all be gone faster than they can say "A&E closure". Right, who fancies twins? DRILL WHIRS I know I can count on you to keep everything perfect. Yes, Nigel. And you're going to keep Room Three free? Look, if the patients don't need it, Nigel. Ah, Kay, bit of good news for you. They've dropped the complaint? Ministerial visit tomorrow, and you get to shake his hand. That explains why we've got the hospital's only mop today. Yeah, shouldn't be too taxing. Wander round the ward smiling like a gay proctologist, then tell a quick, charming anecdote, and it's off to the meeting room for a plate of Sainsbury's cheapest sandwiches. You on? It would be my honour. Good man. ALARM BLARES Right. 24 hours to make this place look like a labour ward. ALARM CONTINUES Ah, traditionally at this point, a couple of you would be running to the emergency. Oh, we usually wait a bit. It's faulty. It randomly goes off for a couple of seconds. If it keeps going, we'll run. But normally it just... ALARM STOPS ..stops. How often does this happen? Er, couple of times an hour. Well, add that to the list. Of course. And what would you like me to take off the list to make time? Right. I'm on it. PAGER BEEPS What's wrong with her, then? I couldn't tell you. Is there someone who could? She's obviously in pain, but she won't let us look. She's being...obstructive. Meaning? Meaning she told me to fuck off in four different languages. Sounds like she's OK to me. Oh... It is not sehr gut news, I'm afraid. Oh, dear. I am afraid ze whole leg will have to be cut off. Oh! I've just ordered new slippers. Oh, no. Will it grow back? No. I don't think it will. Er, Petr, would you mind escorting Professor Einstein back to her laboratory? Any chance you know which ward you're on? Sorry if that lady was bothering you. Are you kidding? She's the best doctor I've seen since I've been in here. Is there, er, anything the matter? Oh, no, just here for delicious food. HE LAUGHS How soundproof do you think that thing is? So how can I help you today, Mrs Winnicka? I think something coming out. Of there. I hope not - labour ward's full. Er, do you mind if I have a quick look? Bend your legs, feet together, drop your knees to the side. Well, get on with it. HE CLEARS THROAT OK. Nothing to panic about - you've got a bit of a prolapse there. That's your uterus you can feel coming out. Oh! Very common. There's something we can put inside to sort of... ..hold it all up there. Haven't had anything up there since decimalisation. I'll get you booked into urogynae clinic in the next few days. Tell you what. I'll get everything I need from clinic and pop back up with it later. Go on, then, what you waiting for? Well, everything looks absolutely fine. CHILD SHOUTS If the tummy pain's settled, then I think we can prob... Come away from there, Mummy's having a conversation. Why don't we look at your book for a bit? Oh, well, like I was saying, if the tummy pain has settled, then I think we can probably get you back home. If you're sure. If anything changes, just come back in and see us. I mean, we are never closed. Unfortunately. DAD: Stop. CHILD GIGGLES Stop. Stop it. Would you guys just, like, hang on one minute, please? ALARM BLARES My lady in One is absolutely desperate for a water birth. Any chance we can get her into Room Three? I'm really sorry, but it's above my pay grade. Lockhart needs it empty so we can show it off to the Minister. OK, well, I've asked. Don't you think that they should see what this place is really like, rather than some Sellotaped-together version? Good plan. And when they sack me, you gonna pay my mortgage directly into the bank or just give me the cash? RIA: You'd think they'd have picked a quieter time to come. Sorry to bother you. But... And yet here you are. So someone came in with nothing the matter and you sent them home? No, but... I'm sorry, I'm quite busy right now. I probably can't arrange a full parade in your honour. No, look. The stickers on her file. Oh, shit. That's a domestic abuse alert, right? In the ladies' toilets there are red stickers that you put on your notes if you wanna talk privately about domestic abuse. Good spot. Parade's back on. Hi! I'm Adam, one of the doctors. Everything OK? Nothing to worry about. Just wondering if I could have a couple of words with you in private? Ah, we want to stay with Mummy, don't we, Ernie? Well, I do have to examine your wife in quite a personal way. I thought you said it was a couple of words. Yeah, the words are "vaginal" and "examination", and I thought with your son here... OK. ..it might be better... You'll be all right, darling? Yeah. There's a coffee shop downstairs. Well, I think the Caffe Nero opposite's probably safer. Go! Zoom! Zoom! Is everything OK at home, Anna? SHE LAUGHS How do you mean? Anna, you can tell us. I mean, you've done the hard bit already. Er, the stickers? ERNIE: Stickers! Oh, God. He's always doing this sort of thing. ERNIE: Sticky stickers! ANNA: He loves stickers. DAD: Ernie? Ernie! ERNIE: Sticky stickers. So sorry. Come on, then, Miss Marple. DAD: Oh! Rascal. ALARM BLARES WOMAN: False alarm, everyone. There was something weird about him. Yeah. He was a posh twat. But you don't get arrested for that. SHE SCOFFS Just as well. Me? You can talk. My mum's a dinner lady and my dad's an electrician. Well, where did I get the idea that your parents were doctors? Ooh, er, from racist stereotypes? Um, no! No, no, no. Um... You... I'm kidding. You do know that, like, not everyone gets this handed to them on a plate, right? Like, it didn't even occur to my parents that I could end up being a doctor. All right, Little Orphan Annie. How did you end up here, then? HE SPLUTTERS Er, my... Well, my dad was a doctor, and... And he had this big plate? DAD: No, I won't calm down, Anna. What the hell did you think this was gonna achieve? SHRUTI: Sorry, sorry... I, er... Er, glad I... Glad I caught you. Er, I was just discussing your case a bit more with my colleague and we thought that it'd be best to keep you in overnight. For a test. Er, what sort of test? A...a scan test. So a scan? Yes, yes, exactly. ANNA: What's wrong? Is something wrong with the baby? Oh, no, I... I'm sure everything's fine, I just wanna check the baby's growing properly. And you can't do it today? Er, well, there actually aren't any slots till morning, er, so if we just... Just to be on the safe side, probably best to stay in overnight. DAD: That's fine. I'll keep her company till visiting hours end. Is your phone charged? Yep. ADAM: It's going off every three minutes. No, I don't have the error code for the secondary console. BEEP I don't even know what a secondary console is. Listen, I need someone to come here with a tool box, a jumpsuit, and the phrase "I have fixed the alarm." What? Three weeks?! Which of Neptune's moons are you based on, exactly? Listen, forget it. Pleasure doing business with you. Er, can I help you? Er, I'm starting an Ultimate Frisbee team. Do you want in? ALARM BLARES Hi. Sorry, hi. Are you working on labour ward? Yeah. Can you see if you can do anything to stop the alarm going off every three seconds? I'll have a go. Can you have a success? ALARM CONTINUES OK. Just... Just try to relax. Oh, it's easy for you to say. Went to the theatre last night. Oh, how thrilling for you. In a way. Had a massive argument with my mother. Yes, and have you apologised yet? Didn't do anything wrong. She's your mother. She could be dead tomorrow. I'll apologise in my eulogy, then. Yep, there it is, all done. How's that feel? Better? Better. That's good. Right, I will get you booked into clinic to have it replaced in six months. Will you be doing it? Ah, it sort of depends on... Yeah. Sure. That's a shame. Just because it's only got one Michelin star doesn't mean it's not a good restaurant, Mum. Well, how on Earth am I meant to know how hygienic the kitchen is? SHRUTI: Ria, who's the safeguarding midwife? RIA: Oh, it used to be Paulette, but she left. Thank God. If it's urgent, you can speak to Tracy. OK, yep, see you at eight. Bye. MUM HANGS UP Don't forget to charge your broomstick. SHRUTI: Adam, where's Tracy? Dunno. Busy getting her MBE? CRASH, PAINED YELLING Jesus Christ. What's happened here? I'll tell you in a minute. Can you just check her CTG? First baby, 41 but otherwise low risk. What happened in there? Oh, my God. Jesus. Hi, I'm Adam. One of the doctors. I was supposed to be having a water birth. You never know - one of the pipes might come down. Baby's heart rate's improving nicely. So sorry. We'll, er, we'll, er, we'll get you somewhere, another room. No, we don't have another room, so... What? ..we'll just clear this one up. OK? She's the boss. What happened in there? I'll tell you what didn't happen - the bloody alarm. I pulled it twice, and nothing, so I put a bit more welly into it... What did you do? Nothing. Don't bullshit me. Well, the... ..the alarm company couldn't send anyone for three weeks so I asked a workman to... ..have a go. And how would you say they did, out of ten? SHE SIGHS Fuck this. Good news. We've found you another room. There's even a pool in there for water birth. And can I still eat my placenta? Sure, why not? Dr Adam! How's my little friend? Oh, you know, just keeping busy. Cleaned the oven this morning, then I came down here. Er, can I ask what you're doing here? Sorry, we, er, we did meet before but it was... Yeah, it was only briefly. Er, I'm the doctor who delivered your nephew. I know exactly who you are. That's why I'm asking if it's appropriate for you to be here right now. Um...sorry, yeah, of course. I was just going. Yeah. ERIKA: Bye, Dr Adam! HARRY: 'Go on, then, what's the damage?' Er, 10? 11? HE SIGHS You remember you said you'd go through my presentation when you got home? Do you remember how you wanted me to meet my mum for dinner? Amazing! Well, good luck. Let me know how it goes, yeah? Mm. And remember the magic words. If she tries to suck out my soul, I say, "Expecto Patronum". I was thinking, "I'm sorry". Good luck. Oh, thank you, you've remembered us at last. I hope it is to your satisfaction this time. Are those chives? And get him a new one, too, that's gone stone-cold. Of course, madam. If you could maybe only spit in hers? I can't remember the last time I saw you two months in a row, let alone two evenings. How's work? Er, yeah, work's... ..fine, yes. I'm acting registrar now - did I mention that? Yes, it's wonderful news. Your father and I are very proud. Lesley's son's a professor. L... Lesley's son's 50. He said, she said. Anyway, I'm showing a minister round the ward tomorrow. Oh, that's fantastic, darling. How many doctors were they choosing from? Quite a lot, actually. Hundreds, I expect. Um, so yesterday, at the... ..at the theatre... ..we didn't really get the chance to speak properly. Well, you weren't there for half of it. I said something pretty important to you when I arrived. When you finally arrived. What I'm saying is I want to apologise to you for not saying it in the best way. But, er, it's important to me. He's important to me. When's Gregory's wedding? I really like the girl he's marrying, don't you? She's very charming. I'm talking to you about Harry, though, aren't I, Mum? Not Greg. I'm saying to you that I live with Harry. And we only have one bedroom. Do you want a deposit on a bigger flat? Is that what all this is about? I'm saying to you, I live with Harry, I'm very happy, and we love each other, and we're gay. Both of you? HE LAUGHS Yes, both of... What was wrong with Helen? You were so nice together. I'm gay, Mum. Look. I've watched you pull your pants down at far too many children's birthday parties to be fazed by one of your outbursts. This is not an outburst. Thank you. Thank you. I don't know what you're getting so uppity about. I said to your father he seemed... ..fairly nice. He is nice. He's very nice. Did I tell you Monica's having her kitchen redone again? Glass everywhere. Looks awful. Anyway, we're engaged. We're getting married. HARRY: So, how'd it go, then? Yeah, fine. She didn't kill you, then. That's something. Yeah... Yeah, she got it. See? I knew she would, if you just apologised for springing it on her. So, um...what did she say? Oh, you know, she mainly talked about herself. But she was, er... ..interested in you. And, er, yeah, asked lots of questions. Like what? About your job, and about your family. And she said she can't wait to meet you properly, next time she's in London, stealing Dalmatians. I knew she'd be happy if you were just straight with her. I think she'd be happier if I was straight full stop. Well, why don't we arrange for us to all meet up again? I'm knackered, I should probably... Or we can ask her over for dinner. I can make...fajitas? Does she like fajitas? I mean, who doesn't love fajitas? And I make amazing fajitas. Harry... These really good... # Let's dance # Put on your red shoes and dance the blues # Let's dance # To the song they're playing on the radio # Let's sway # While colour lights up your face # Let's sway # Sway through the crowd to an empty space # And if you say run # I'll run with you # And if you say hide # We'll hide # Because my love for you... # WHISPERS: Anna? Anna? SHE CLEARS THROAT Anna! # If you should fall into my arms... # Anna... ANNA GASPS My God. God. Oh, God, I'm so sorry, did I wake you? I know the answer's yes. I totally woke you up. I'm so sorry. What's going on? Er, I just wanted, er, to talk to you. In the middle of the night? I thought you might wanna have a chat? And there's no-one else you can have a chat with? Wait here just one, one second, just give me one second. Do your scan now, shall we, yeah? Just watch out... just watch out for that. Ooh! Bit cold, sorry. Do you know if it's a boy or a girl? They said she's a girl. Yeah, I agree. That's her heart... HEARTBEAT POUNDS ..beating away there. That all looks good. You know, it's really a weird job being an obstetrician. Cos you always look after two separate patients at once. BEEP It's... It's just since I've been pregnant. It's not his fault. He's not a bad man. What's changed since you've been pregnant? SHE SIGHS Ernie can be a real handful, and his work's so stressful at the moment. He didn't mean to. Anna, will you let me help you? What's that? Nothing interesting, just a work form. This suit too tatty? Be honest. If anything, it's impressive you've managed to keep your school uniform so neat. Where's the one you wore to Hannah's wedding? Is that the wedding where we swam in the pond? Yeah. In the pond. Well, you look very handsome, in your suit with your shoes, and that little bit of beard you've left on your cheek. Oh, Jeez. HARRY: Oh, hey! No, no, it's Harry. No, no, he's just in the... the bathroom, he'll be out in a sec. Sorry we didn't get to chat much at the theatre. Ha, thank you. Congratulations for? Oh, right. Yes, of course. Silly me. Er... I can... He's just here now. I'll pass you over. It's your mum. Hi, Mum. Mum, the signal is bad. I'll call you back later. OK, bye. I told her that we were engaged. Yeah, I worked that bit out. This better be a fucking amazing explanation. You don't know her. I'm starting to think I don't know you. It was... It was the only thing I could think to say to... ..make her take us seriously. Well, wouldn't it be a good start if you took us seriously? HE LAUGHS I proposed. That's serious. Yeah, and what did I say? Hm? Let me in. Let me know what's going on in there. "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." "How was your day?" "Fine, thanks." I knew it was a terrible idea coming out to her. How can you say that? Well, look what's happened. Come here. Sorry. It's OK. Well done for telling her. Er, what's going on here? Some wiring issue. How long's it gonna take? How long's a piece of wire? Excuse me. I presume this will be tidied away within the next hour? Jesus Christ. It's like downtown Basra in here. I didn't think it would be possible to make the place look worse. We needed to stop the alarm misfiring, so I... Threw a grenade at the ceiling? God, and don't let the fire officer see that suit. The whole place could go up. NURSE: Can we get a doctor into Room Three, please? Tracy! LOCKHART: Clean that up. The minister will be here... Hi, I'm Adam, one of the doctors. We met yesterday. Straightforward water birth three minutes ago, placenta not coming easily, and now a bit of a bleed. Right. BABY CRIES OK, let's, er, pop you onto the bed so the doctor can have a proper look. OK? Er, and I... I can still eat my placenta after this, you're...you're not gonna take it away? That's a question for the midwives, not me, I'm afraid. Yeah, it's perfectly natural. Dogs do it. They also eat their young and fuck the furniture. Don't worry, it won't take long. Is that pain relief OK? OK. Right, first things first, let's see where this bleed is coming from. Yep, you've got a bit of a tear here. Suture, needle-holder, scissors, large swabs. Thanks. MUM CRIES I'll be two minutes. Just a quick bit of needlework. DAD: Isn't she lovely? That's the bleeding stopped. TRACY: We'll get her weighed, as soon as Doctor's left. Now, delicious.... ..placenta. SQUELCHY SLAP Hang on. Isn't...? Isn't this... ..the placenta? No, that's blood clots from inside your... That's blood clots. SHE RETCHES, PAGER BUZZES 'Crash call to gynae. Crash call to gynae.' ALARM BLARES RESUS NURSE: 26, 27, 28, 29, 30. NURSE: OK. I've got access. Er, can I help? I'm one of the obs and gynae registrars. What do you know about her? Er, Magda Winnicka, 85 years old, long-stay stable vulval cancer patient, awaiting discharge. Otherwise fit as a fiddle. Well, she's not now, is she? PETR: I'm so sorry, Doctor, I hadn't checked the notes before. Oh, for God's sake. This patient has a valid Do Not Resuscitate form. Is everybody happy to stop CPR now? No, come on, we can give her a good shot. Resuscitation discontinued at 10:42. ADAM: She was absolutely fine yesterday. I fitted her a pessary, she was up in bed, talking. We're not going against a Do Not Resuscitate order authorised by the patient. Are you happy to certify death? DOOR CLOSES I took my mum for dinner, by the way. Total disaster. Mostly my fault. I told her I was getting married, which was a bit of a lie. I mean, I asked him, but he said no, which is fair enough, really. I always used to reckon I was good at medicine and... ..bad at the other stuff. Not doing great at either right now. PEN SCRATCHES Don't you dare haunt me. DOOR CLOSES GERMAN PROFESSOR: Oh, yes, yes. I can see zat you will probably be dead by... ..Freitag. Zat one zere, she has the worse case of worms I ever, ever seen. ANNA'S HUSBAND: That's her bloody surname. Have another look. She's not on the antenatal ward. They told me she's here. Just tell me what room she's in. RIA: Of course, if you'll give me a moment. Is this a joke? What am I meant to do? Anna, please don't worry about it, OK? It's gonna be all right. DOOR OPENS So, er, OK, we're gonna sort it out, all right? Sort what out? Er... ..we just need to run a few more tests. How long is this gonna take? I'm sure it won't take long. Mr Hanson, actually, I'd prefer if you could give us a few more minutes. You need to drop your attitude. Angus. Please. She's had you in here all night. She's fannying around, clearly doesn't know what she's doing. Why don't I get someone else to come in and do the scan, then, yeah? Just do your little tests, and we'll get home. LOCKHART: Spit-spot, team, they'll be here any moment. Ah. I guess pyjamas are probably better than nylon and vomit. I had a patient die today. Someone... You know, someone I really cared for. Well, you can't have cared for her that well if she died. I thought I might go to her funeral. You're not going to a patient's funeral. It's unprofessional. Did I say "go to her funeral" or did I say "fuck her grandchildren"? Er... I don't want to be unprofessional, I just wanna... ..wanna make sure that there's, er, a friendly face there. Oh, you gonna make some balloon animals as well? We've got boundaries for a reason. Shit happens. You can't just let yourself feel it all. RIA: They're just leaving the main building. Be with you in three minutes. LOCKHART: Eyes right. LOCKHART: Eyes right. How long is this gonna take? I just wanna monitor the baby's heart for 15 minutes. Does it have to be that long? Why don't I put a Do Not Disturb sign on the door, just to stop anyone coming in, cos the doors don't have locks here. Fine. ERNIE: Neeeowwww! Shut that child up. TEARFULLY: Ernie, darling, don't do that. CHATTER CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS Call security now. Room One. LOCKHART: Kay! Get back here. Everything OK? Yeah. We're, er, done here. Just heading home. Thanks very much for all your help, love. Anything I can do, Shruti? The problem I was worried about is a problem-problem. This is the second full day of being messed around by this department. And just so you know, Dr... ..er, Kay, I am going to complain about all this. Just give me five minutes with your wife, please, sir, and then you can complain to the chief executive, the Health Secretary, and Princess Michael of Kent for all I care. We're leaving. Come on. No. Hey! That's assault. Did you see that? He assaulted me. Come on. Ernie... Get out of my way. You know what, maybe we should just go home. Sweetheart, listen, listen, listen. Can we just get Ernie? Shut your mouth. No, hey... Come with us, please. This is mental. Totally unnecessary. This way, sir. I, I need to speak to somebody senior. No, you need to come with us. ANGUS: Tell them! I've done nothing wrong. I'll leave this with you, Shruti. ANGUS: This is ridiculous. Who do I need to speak to? Well done. ANGUS: Anna! LOCKHART: This is our most recently refurbished suite. CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS VISITORS GASP Well, that was, er, something of a surprise. Er, shall we? Oh, shit, they're taking photographs. Better change the patients' initials. For confidentiality. CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS He'll be held overnight at least, so that's time to get you and Ernie somewhere safe. I don't need somewhere safe. Anna, you don't have to put up with this any more. He only got angry today because it was all taking so long. You told me that he... SHE CLEARS THROAT Mummy's just going to the toilet I'll be right back. DOOR CLOSES Well, what now? We'll work out a safeguarding plan. You did really well today. It's all fucking pointless, though, isn't it? ERNIE: Fucking pointless. Fucking pointless. SIREN BLARES Hey. I thought you were gonna stand me up there. Oh, my God. Oh, I'm so sorry. Er, what time is it? How long have you been waiting? Er, don't worry. They're holding our table for us. Er... ..listen, do you mind if, if we raincheck, please? I'm not feeling too great. No worries. Another time. See you around. I will end with the Prayer of Commendation for the Dying. To you, O Lord, we commend the soul of Magda Winnicka, your servant. In the sight of this world she is now dead. In your sight, may she live forever. Forgive whatever sins she committed through human weakness... SPEECH FADES ORGAN MUSIC Hey! Are you OK? I'm just... I've had better days. Were you...close? Um... I think she hated me, actually. Seriously, it really means a lot that you brought me here. Bring you to all the best places, don't I? I've been thinking a lot about... ..that question you asked me. I've changed my mind. Go on, ask it again. Will you marry me? Of course I will. Are you sure? Yes, I'm sure. BOTH LAUGH Good. Cos I've already booked the venue. HARRY: Her grandson's fit, isn't he? # Kiss all the pretty ones goodbye # Give everyone a penny that cries # You can throw all my tranquil pills away # Let my blood pressure go on its way # Cos my autumn's done come # My autumn's done come # Done come # Let those I don't care days begin
Subjects
  • Television programs--United Kingdom