PHOEBE: THAT'S NOT ME. SURE LOOKS LIKE YOU. NO, I MEAN, THE PICTURE'S ME, IT'S JUST THE COLUMN IS NOT ME. I KNEW A MAN COULDN'T GIVE ADVICE LIKE A WOMAN. MEN ARE ALL ABOUT, YOU KNOW, LIKE, FIXING THE PROBLEM. ISN'T THAT WHAT ADVICE COLUMNISTS ARE SUPPOSED TO DO? NO. I MEAN, YES, BUT, YOU KNOW, FIRST, YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO LISTEN. THEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO VALIDATE FEELINGS. AT LEAST THAT'S WHAT A WOMAN WOULD DO. BUT NOT A MAN. THEY GO STRAIGHT TO FIXING IT. I MEAN THIS "GLASS CEILING IN SAUSALITO," LESLIE TELLS THIS WOMAN STEP BY STEP HOW TO DEAL WITH HER BOSS. THERE ARE NO FEELINGS IN THERE, NO EMOTIONS. I MEAN, MY READERS ARE GONNA READ THAT, AND THEY'RE GONNA KNOW THAT I DID NOT WRITE IT. THIS IS A NIGHTMARE. HONESTLY, IT'S REAL SUBTLE. THEY MIGHT NOT NOTICE. EVEN THE LETTERS THAT HE PICKS, THEY'RE ALL FIX-IT LETTERS, YOU KNOW? AND I LEFT HIM 3 MESSAGES ABOUT THIS YESTERDAY. HE DID NOT CALL ME BACK. I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS LITTLE VACATION WAS FOR YOU TO RELAX AND RECHARGE. YEAH. I KNOW... BUT IT'S STILL MY COLUMN. YOU KNOW, I STILL CARE ABOUT IT. ANY BIG CHANGE TAKES SOME ADJUSTING. SO FOR A WHILE, YOU'RE JUST GONNA FEEL A LITTLE LOST. SEE? YOU JUST VALIDATED MY FEELINGS. PHOEBE, YOU NEED TO STOP OBSESSING. UNLESS, OF COURSE, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE OBSESSING 'CAUSE, UM, YOU LIKE HIM. NO, I DON'T LIKE HIM. HE'S LIKE...EWW. WELL, THEN FORGET ABOUT IT AND FIND SOMETHING ELSE TO OBSESS ABOUT. YEAH, I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT. I HAVE TO FIND A WAY TO CHANNEL MY ENERGY, FIND SOMETHING TO BE PASSIONATE ABOUT, YOU KNOW? PAIGE WITH MAGIC SCHOOL. YOU SAVING LEO. I'M NOT SAVING HIM. I'M JUST... HOPING THAT BY SPENDING SOME TIME WITH THE BOYS THAT HE'LL FEEL LOVED AND NEEDED AND REALIZE THAT LIFE ISN'T ALL THAT BAD. EXCUSE ME, LADIES, BUT I'M AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO TAKE THAT SOMEPLACE ELSE. TAKE WHAT? YOU KNOW...THAT. IT'S CALLED BREAST-FEEDING. CUSTOMERS WERE COMPLAINING. WHA... WHAT? ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO. I GOTTA GO ANYWAY. NO. PIPER, YOU ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. YOU'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. YOU--YOU CAN'T DO THIS. ACTUALLY, YEAH, I CAN. SORRY. IT'S NO BIG DEAL. LET'S GO. THAT'S HORRIBLE. YOU-- WE'RE GOING. ODIN: THIS IS A LOSING BATTLE. MAGIC SCHOOL WAS A NOBLE EXPERIMENT, BUT I'M AFRAID IT'S RUN ITS COURSE. BUT WHAT ABOUT THESE KIDS? WHERE ARE THEY GOING TO GO? WHERE ARE THEY GONNA LEARN HOW TO DEVELOP THEIR MAGIC? WHERE DID YOU LEARN TO DEVELOP YOURS? I LEARNED FROM MY SISTERS, AND THEY DID FROM THEIR MOTHER AND THEIR GRANDMOTHER, BUT NOT EVERYBODY HAS THAT. WHAT THESE KIDS NEED-- (SPLAT) (KIDS LAUGH) WHAT THESE KIDS NEED IS GUIDANCE. THE POINT REMAINS THAT WITH GIDEON NO LONGER AROUND, THE SAFETY OF THIS INSTITUTION, BOTH TO THE STUDENTS AND TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD, CAN NO LONGER BE GUARANTEED. I CAN GUARANTEE IT. I MEAN, I CAN TRY TO GUARANTEE IT. YOU SEE, I FIGHT DEMONS ON A WEEKLY BASIS, AND I THINK THAT MORE THAN QUALIFIES ME TO BE ABLE TO DEAL WITH SOME MAGICAL STUDENTS. LIKE I SAID... THEY NEED SOME GUIDANCE. SHE CAN GUIDE ME ANY DAY. THESE KIDS ARE SPECIAL. NAKED WOMAN! (BOYS CHEERING) I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO CONJURE HER, I SWEAR. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. IT'S OK, DUNCAN. I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN TO. IT'S OK. JUST TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED...FAST. I DON'T KNOW. I--I WAS JUST BORED. YOU KNOW, MESSING AROUND, FLIPPING THROUGH THE HISTORY BOOK, AND THEN "POOF," OUT POPPED LADY GODIVA. THAT'S LADY GODIVA? THAT IS SO COOL. I MEAN, IT'S NOT COOL... BUT IT'S OK. YOU JUST SEND HER BACK, AND EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE. WELL, THAT'S THE THING. I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SEND HER BACK. I ONLY KNOW HOW TO CONJURE. OK. THAT IS BAD. I MEAN, NOT THAT YOU'RE BAD. THIS IS A BAD SITUATION. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? BUT I KNOW YOU DIDN'T MEAN IT, SO YOU'RE NOT REALLY BAD. IT'S OK. IT'S OK. UH... WE'LL FIX IT. I HOPE. UH, NEED TO BORROW THIS. I'LL HAVE IT DRY-CLEANED. IS THAT WHO I THINK IT IS? LADY GODIVA. PRETTY IMPRESSIVE USE OF MAGIC, HUH? DON'T YOU KNOW HOW DANGEROUS IT IS TO MESS WITH HISTORY? IF WE DON'T FIND A WAY TO SEND HER BACK BEFORE ANYTHING HAPPENS TO HER... I'M ALL OVER IT. (SIGHS) THAT'S IT. SHOO! GET OUT OF HERE. GET OUT WITH YOUR RAGING HORMONES. BYE. BYE. LAME. WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE AM I? WHAT IS THIS PLACE? IT'S OK. YOU'RE SAFE. I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME, OK? WELL, WELL, THAT'S ONE SCREWED UP MESS YOU MADE. WOW. GOOD JOB, DUNCAN. YOU SCORED BIG. SHUT UP, SIMON. LEAVE ME ALONE. SAY GOOD-BYE TO MAGIC SCHOOL. SUCH INTENSE FRUSTRATION, ALL PENT UP. LET ME HELP YOU LET IT OUT, HMM? PACK YOUR BAGS, BOYS. DUNCAN JUST GOT US EVICTED. YOU SON OF A BITCH, LEAVE ME ALONE! STOP PICKING ON ME! HEY! BREAK IT UP! INTERESTING. I HAVE A VERY GOOD FEELING ABOUT THIS. PIPER, I CAN'T BELIEVE, YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE, ARE AGAINST THIS. WE HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. SHH. SHH. SHH. SHH. YOU ARE NOT WRITING A LETTER TO "ASK PHOEBE" ABOUT MY BREAST. LEO? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID I NEEDED A CAUSE. SHH! YEAH, SO YOU COULD KEEP YOUR MIND OFF OF THE COLUMN, NOT WRITE A LETTER TO IT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KEEP MY MIND OFF OF THE COLUMN WHEN HE'S ABOUT TO BLOW MY COVER, MAYBE EVEN MY CAREER? OK. YOU'RE OBSESSING. LEO? YOU'RE LATE. WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT. IT'S NOT LIKE HE'S GONNA PICK THE LETTER ANYWAY. IT'S WAY TOO FEMININE. I'M WORRIED BECAUSE SOMEHOW I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA FIND A WAY TO MAKE HIM PICK IT. SO WHAT? THEN WE HIT 2 NEANDERTHALS WITH ONE STONE. I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU'RE NOT SUPPORTING ME ON THIS. WHAT IS THERE TO SUPPORT? PHOEBE, IT'S ALREADY A LAW. SO LET'S SUE THE MANAGER. I DON'T HAVE TIME TO SUE THE MANAGER. I HAVE OTHER THINGS TO WORRY ABOUT, LIKE WORK. YEAH, I'M ON SABBATICAL. I DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT. I'M LOST. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, LEO! THAT'S NOT LEO. HEY, GUYS. BOOK STILL UPSTAIRS? WAIT A MINUTE. HOLD IT. WHAT HAPPENED? WELL, UH... THIS IS GODIVA. UM...SAY HELLO. GODIVA? AS IN, UM... LADY GODIVA... UH, IN THE FLESH, SO TO SPEAK. ARE THEY WITCHES, TOO? YEAH. SEE, THE MEETING KIND OF WENT LONG, GOT A LITTLE BORING, AND THE KIDS, THEY GREW RESTLESS, AND... SO THEY CONJURED A SEX OBJECT? I AM NO SEX OBJECT. I WAS RIDING THROUGH TOWN IN MY NATURAL STATE TO PROTEST MY HUSBAND'S UNJUST TAXES. (GASPS) UH, WAIT. RIDING? AS IN PLUCKED OUT IN THE MIDDLE OF? PAIGE, SHE HAS TO FINISH THAT RIDE, OR ELSE IT COULD CHANGE-- YEAH, HISTORY AS WE KNOW IT. I GOT IT, BUT EVEN WORSE, IF I DON'T SEND HER BACK SOON, I'M PRETTY SURE THE ELDERS ARE GONNA SHUT DOWN MAGIC SCHOOL. I DON'T THINK THAT'S WORSE THAN CHANGING THE COURSE OF HISTORY. (BLENDER WHIRLING) AAH! UH...OK. OK. OK. (TURNS BLENDER OFF) ON THE OTHER HAND, HOW MUCH HISTORY COULD A NAKED LADY ON HORSEBACK REALLY AFFECT? EXCUSE ME. MY RIDE IS IMPORTANT. EVEN SO, WE NEED TO FIND A SPELL TO SEND YOU BACK, SO COME ON. SEE WHAT I MEAN? WE HAVE BIGGER NAKED BREASTS TO WORRY ABOUT. PAIGE HAS HER NAKED BREASTS TO WORRY ABOUT, I'VE GOT YOURS. LEO? AAH! PIPER... AH. SORRY TO INTERRUPT, BUT I'M LATE FOR WORK. SO WYATT'S BEEN FED, CHRIS HAS HAD HIS EARLY NAP, AND, UM, THEY'RE JUST VERY EXCITED TO SEE YA. NOW'S NOT REALLY A GOOD TIME. WELL, YOU KNOW, BUT WHEN IS A GOOD TIME? SOMETIMES WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE THE TIME. WHICH I WILL DO ONCE I'VE TAKEN CARE OF ANY THREATS TOWARDS HIM. OH, BUT DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. YOU CAN'T VANQUISH EVERY THREAT. BESIDES, EVEN IF YOU DID, IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT THAT... I KILLED ANOTHER ELDER? YEAH, BUT IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT. IT DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACTS. THE FACT IS THE BOYS NEED A FATHER, AND THAT'S REALLY ALL THAT MATTERS, AND I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU'RE FOCUSING ON ALL THIS BAD STUFF WHEN YOU HAVE SOME GOOD STUFF IN YOUR LIFE. (GROWLING) AAH! UH...HI. COULD YOU PLEASE NOT DO THAT AROUND THE CHILDREN? YOU BROUGHT THEM HERE. ACTUALLY, NO, YOUR SON BROUGHT US HERE. PIPER, THE WORD IS THERE'S A SCOUTER DEMON IN THE SWAMP, AND IF I DON'T GO THERE-- IF I DON'T SPEND SOME TIME AT P-3, WE'LL LOSE OUR ONLY SOURCE OF INCOME. I CAN'T DO THIS, YOU KNOW? YES, YOU CAN. JUST MAKE SURE YOU BURP CHRIS, AND YOU WILL BE FINE. NOW I GOTTA GO, SO...HELP ME OUT. (DOOR OPENS) - PHOEBE. - HI. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? I--I CAME TO LOOK FOR MY FAVOURITE PEN. I KNOW I LEFT IT IN HERE SOMEWHERE, AND I CAN'T SEEM TO WRITE A THING WITHOUT IT. WELL, I DUMPED ALL YOUR STUFF IN THIS BOTTOM CABINET HERE. OH, YOU DUMPED? WHAT, UH, DOES IT LOOK LIKE? UH, IT'S A FOUNTAIN PEN. UH, NOTHING REALLY SPECIAL. HEY, UM, SINCE I'M HERE, MAYBE I CAN HELP WITH STUFF. HELP? YEAH. YOU KNOW, MAYBE HELP PICK TOMORROW'S LETTER OR SOMETHING. I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON SABBATICAL. STILL MY COLUMN. AH. HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE LETTING GO, I SEE. NO, I'M NOT HAVING TROUBLE LETTING GO. I JUST CAME HERE TO FIND MY PEN. GIVE IT A COUPLE WEEKS. YOU WON'T EVEN NOTICE. YEAH, I'M AFRAID MY READERS ARE ALREADY NOTICING. THAT YOU CAN'T FIND YOUR PEN? THAT I'M A MAN. I MEAN, THAT--THAT YOU'RE A MAN WHEN YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A WOMAN-- AND YOU'RE NOT VERY GOOD AT PICKING THE LETTERS. YOU ONLY PICK PROBLEMS THAT YOU CAN SOLVE. YOU KNOW, FOR SOMEONE TAKING A BREAK, YOU SURE HAVE GIVEN THIS A LOT OF THOUGHT. (CHUCKLES) NO, I'M JUST SAYING, YOU KNOW, THAT--THAT... I MEAN--I MEAN, THE POINT... WHAT--WHAT-- WHAT WAS I SAYING? SOMETHING TO DO WITH "ME TARZAN. YOU JANE." YEAH. CUTE. VERY CUTE. LET'S SEE... OH, WHAT'S THIS ONE? OH, THIS LOOKS LIKE A GREAT ONE. "BREAST-FEEDING IN BAYSHORE." WHAT DO YOU SAY? BREAST-FEEDING? IT SEEMS A LITTLE CAUSEY, DON'T YOU THINK? OUT OF YOUR LEAGUE? NO, NO. I LIKE BREASTS. I JUST DON'T FEEL THE NEED TO GIVE ANY ADVICE ON THEM, THAT'S ALL. YEAH. LIKE I SAID... YOU'RE NOT GOOD AT PICKING LETTERS. SO, IF YOU FIND MY PEN, PLEASE CALL ME. OK. QUEEN ELIZABETH... CATHERINE THE GREAT... JOAN OF ARC... AH. LADY GODIVA. GOOD THING YOU HAVE LONG HAIR. I'M IN THE HISTORY BOOKS? YES, AND IF I CAN KEEP ANYTHING FROM HAPPENING TO YOU BEFORE I SEND YOU BACK, YOU'LL REMAIN THERE. WHAT'S WRONG? LORD DYSON. ISN'T THAT YOUR HUSBAND? NO. AN EVIL LAND BARON WHO FEEDS ON THE PAIN OF PEASANTS, SUPPRESSES THEM FOR HIS OWN GAIN. HE'S THE WEASEL WHO CONVINCED MY HUSBAND TO TAX THEM. WEREN'T YOU SCARED DOING WHAT YOU DID? I MEAN, THAT WAS, WHAT, ABOUT A THOUSAND YEARS BEFORE WOMEN RECEIVED EQUAL RIGHTS? IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO. IT WAS ONLY WAY TO MAKE MY HUSBAND SEE THAT I WAS SERIOUS ABOUT MY STAND, TO SHOCK HIM. AND HISTORY, TOO, APPARENTLY. OK. MOUNT UP. WILL IT BE PAINFUL? NO. IT'S MAGIC. YOU WON'T FEEL A THING. MAGIC. I DIDN'T THINK IT REALLY EXISTED. OH, IT EXISTS. IT'S JUST... SOMETHING THAT'S HIDDEN. YOU CAN'T SEE IT. I SEE NOT A LOT OF THINGS HAVE CHANGED. UH...ROBE? OH. I ALMOST FORGOT. GOOD LUCK...SAVING ALL THIS. THANKS. GOOD LUCK ON YOUR RIDE. "FROM LANDS AFAR IN TIME AND SPACE, "TAKE HER NOW FROM THIS OUR PLACE, "ONE THAT DWELLS SO MUST REMAIN, SEND HER BACK TO HER DOMAIN." WHAT'S WRONG? I DON'T KNOW. IT SHOULD HAVE WORKED. (CRASH) STAY HERE. UHH! (CRASH) WHAT HAPPENED?! YOU TELL ME. YOU WERE THE ONE WHO SAID YOU COULD CONTROL THESE STUDENTS. OK. WELL, I DON'T SEE HOW CONJURING LADY GODIVA COULD HAVE CAUSED ALL OF THIS. UNLESS SHE WASN'T THE ONLY THING CONJURED. BOXES! WELL, AT LEAST THIS SHOWS HOW MUCH KIDS NEED HELP LEARNING TO CONTROL THEIR MAGIC. THIS IS A DISASTER. A COMPLETE, UTTER DISASTER! OH, BY ALL MEANS, DON'T REPRESS YOURSELF. AH. TO BE WHOLE AGAIN. WHO THE HELL ARE YOU? I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR STUPID IDEAS. SO MUCH REPRESSION TO FEED ON. YOU. MY LADY. WATCH OUT! NO MATTER. I'LL JUST COLLECT MORE POWER, AND... THEN I'LL BE BACK. OH, IT'S OK. IT'S JUST A GRAZE. I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE AN ELDER ATTACKED YOU. I KNOW. THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO BE PACIFISTS, RIGHT? (CHUCKLES) HAVE YOU SEEN LEO LATELY? SPEAKING OF WHICH... LEO? HE'S A LITTLE MAD AT ME, AND I CAN'T SAY I BLAME HIM. I DID KIND OF MESS THINGS UP. WELL, THAT DOESN'T EXPLAIN WHY HE TRIED TO KILL YOU. LADY GODIVA: PARDON ME-- I THINK THE DEMON DID SOMETHING TO THAT ELDER, GOT HIM TO FREE UP HIS REPRESSED ANGER SOMEHOW. OR PROBABLY WASN'T BREAST-FED AS A CHILD. PHOEBE! WHAT? WELL, EITHER WAY. WE WOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THIS SITUATION. THIS DEMON WOULDN'T EVEN BE HERE IF I HADN'T HAVE HAD THE GREAT STROKE OF GENIUS TO TRY SAVE THE SCHOOL. SO WHY DO YOU THINK HE TRIED TO KILL HER? IF I COULD JUST-- MAYBE HE KNEW WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW, WHICH IS THAT SINCE THEY CAME TOGETHER, THEY HAVE TO LEAVE TOGETHER. YEAH, BUT WHY WOULDN'T HE WANT TO GO BACK? IF YOU WOULD JUST LISTEN TO ME! OH! WOW! A LOT... (SIGHS) IT IS APPARENTLY, STILL, THE ONLY WAY I CAN GET ANYBODY TO LISTEN TO ME. WOMAN, KEEP YOUR CLOTHES ON. THIS IS A FAMILY SHOW. REALLY. I KNOW THAT MAN, OR DEMON, AS YOU CALL HIM. IT'S LORD DYSON. THE LAND BARON? EXCEPT IN MY TIME, HE WAS DIFFERENT, SMALLER, WEAKER. OK. SO HOW DID HE GET STRONGER? (DOORBELL RINGS) IT'S OK. DOORBELL. NEWFANGLED CONTRAPTION. OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD. IT'S LESLIE. PIPER: DON'T ANSWER IT. WHAT IF IT'S ABOUT MY LETTER? FORGET THE STUPID LETTER. WHAT, CAN EVERYONE HAVE A CAUSE BUT ME? YES! UH! UPSTAIRS. UPSTAIRS! LESLIE! HEY! WHAT A SURPRISE. I BROUGHT YOU A PEACE OFFERING. (FOOTSTEPS) OH...THOSE ARE MY SISTERS. I THOUGHT YOU JUST HAD 2? YEAH. THE OTHER ONE IS A COUSIN, DISTANT COUSIN... TWICE REMOVED. COME IN. COME IN. SO, YOU DROVE ALL THE WAY OVER HERE JUST TO GIVE ME THIS LOVELY PEN? WELL, IT'S YOUR PEN, ISN'T IT? YOU KNOW THIS IS NOT MY PEN. YOU'RE RIGHT. I BOUGHT THAT FROM A STREET VENDOR ON MY WAY OVER. JUST LOOKING FOR AN EXCUSE. (LAUGHS) YOU HAVE A NICE PLACE. THE PAPER PAYS YOU BETTER THAN I THOUGHT. SO WHAT ARE YOU REALLY DOING HERE? I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE A CHANCE TO APOLOGIZE. OH? FOR WHAT? FOR TRYING TO SLIP THAT BREAST-FEEDING LETTER PAST ME. WHAT? LOOK, I KNOW YOU WROTE IT. I RECOGNIZED YOUR HANDWRITING, PHOEBE. I'VE STUDIED ALL YOUR WORK. YOU HAVE? WELL, YEAH. HOW ELSE AM I GONNA GET AWAY WITH GHOSTWRITING A COLUMN FOR YOU? YEAH, SEE, THAT'S THE PROBLEM. I ACTUALLY DON'T THINK YOU'RE GETTING AWAY WITH IT. BECAUSE I'M A MAN. NO, BECAUSE YOU PICK LETTERS A MAN WOULD PICK. "ASK PHOEBE" WOULDN'T PICK A BREAST-FEEDING LETTER. - OH, NO? - NO. BECAUSE IT'S A CAUSE, AND SHE DOESN'T DO CAUSES. I KNOW WHAT KIND OF LETTERS I'D PICK. OH, YEAH? THEN WHY ARE YOU TAKING A SABBATICAL? LOOK, I'M SORRY. IT'S JUST... THE ONLY REASON I TOOK THIS GIG IS 'CAUSE I'M A HUGE FAN OF YOURS. I MEAN, OF YOUR COLUMN, AND I JUST WANT TO DO THE BEST JOB I CAN, BUT, SEE, THE THING IS, I CAN'T REALLY DO THAT WITH YOU LOOKING OVER MY SHOULDER ALL THE TIME... ALL RIGHT? ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. WOULD IT BE CHEATING TOO MUCH IF I PEEKED AHEAD TO SEE WHAT BECOMES OF ME? WELL, SEEING AS YOU'RE PROBABLY NOT GOING TO REMEMBER ANY OF THIS, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. (SIGHS) THE CLOSEST THING I CAN FIND IS A DEMON WHO FEEDS OFF ANGER, BUT YOU ALREADY GOT HIM--OW! REMEMBER WHEN LEO USED TO COME WHEN YOU CALLED HIM? (CHUCKLES) IT SAYS HERE YOUR LORD DYSON MYSTERIOUSLY DISAPPEARED THE DAY YOU RODE THROUGH TOWN. WELL, I DOUBT THAT'S JUST A COINCIDENCE. AND THE TAX WAS REPEALED, WHICH MEANS I ACCOMPLISHED MY GOAL. NO OFFENCE, LADY, BUT, UM... YOU DROP YOUR TROUSERS, LIBERATION FOR ALL, AND SUDDENLY, YOUR DEMON VANISHES OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH FOR ALL OF ETERNITY. ISN'T THAT A LITTLE FAR-FETCHED? NO. NOT IF THE DEMON FEEDS OFF OF OPPRESSIONS. MAYBE THAT'S HOW HE GAINS HIS STRENGTH. WELL, THEN THAT WOULD MAKE THE REVERSE TRUE, AS WELL. YOUR RIDE STARVED HIM INTO OBLIVION. (ORBING) PLEASE TELL ME YOU WEREN'T VANQUISHING DEMONS WITH THE CHILDREN. CHRIS WAS FUSSY. IT CALMED HIM. HA HA! REALLY? IS THAT LADY-- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. A LITTLE HEALING. A LITTLE HEALING. AND THEN WE NEED YOU TO FIND OUT WHAT THEY KNOW ABOUT SOME SORT OF REPRESSOR DEMON. YOU WANT ME TO GO UP THERE? DO WORRY. I'LL GET THE ELFIN NANNY TO WATCH THE KIDS. IT'S NOT WHAT I WAS WORRIED ABOUT. UH, HELLO? HEAL. OUCH. HURT. FOCUS. I THINK IT WOULDN'T HURT TO HAVE A LITTLE CHAT WITH THE ELDERS TO SEE WHAT THEY THINK ABOUT...THE DEMON. BUT WHAT IF THEY KNOW ABOUT-- I THINK IF THEY KNEW, WE WOULD KNOW BY NOW. ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT LORD DYSON? NO, THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT SOMETHING THAT LEO DID THAT THEY DON'T WANT ME TO KNOW ABOUT. JUST GO. LET'S FIND OUT WHAT WE CAN ABOUT THIS REPRESSOR DEMON BEFORE IT STARTS TO FEED OFF OUR REPRESSIONS. SHALL WE? SO... THIS IS THE LAND OF THE FREE, EH? PLEASE DON'T TOW MY CAR! SIR, PLEASE DON'T TOW MY CAR! INFURIATING, ISN'T IT? WELL, DON'T HOLD BACK, HMM? LET IT OUT. NO! (EVIL LAUGH) SUCH A PLETHORA OF REPRESSION, IT'S HARD TO CHOOSE. WHO'S NEXT, HMM? WHO'S NEXT? (TAPPING) I WANT MY MONEY! OH, I LOVE THIS CENTURY! (TIRES SCREECH) (LAUGHS) MORE. I NEED MORE. COME ON. WHO'S STILL OUT THERE HOLDING IT IN? SORRY TO HAVE KEPT YOU WAITING. WHY'D WE HAVE TO MEET HERE? WHY COULDN'T WE MEET UP THERE? YOU DIDN'T HEAR? AN ELDER'S GONE MISSING, LEO, PERHAPS KILLED. WE CAN'T BE TOO CAREFUL. YOU THINK I DID IT? YOU KILLED GIDEON. HE TRIED TO KILL MY SON. I WAS PROTECTING MY FAMILY. WE UNDERSTAND, BUT THIS IS DIFFERENT. THE ELDER WAS ZOLA, LEO, AND WE UNDERSTAND THAT HE WAS TRYING TO REACH OUT TO YOU WHEN HE DISAPPEARED. WE ARE YOUR FAMILY, LEO. YOU ARE ONE OF US. I DON'T KNOW THAT I AM ANYMORE. EVERYTHING'S CHANGED. WHAT, JUST BECAUSE OF WHAT GIDEON DID? LEO, GOOD IS NOT PERFECT. SOMETIMES IT MESSES UP. BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN IT ISN'T STILL GOOD... AND WE ARE. ARE WE? LISTEN TO ME, LEO. WE HAVE SENSED A GREAT AND NEW THREAT GATHERING, ONE WHICH WILL TAKE EVERYTHING WE'VE GOT TO FIGHT, AND WE NEED YOU FOR THAT. WE GONNA NEED EVERYONE. YOU KNOW WHAT I NEED? I NEED INFORMATION ON A DEMON THAT FEEDS ON REPRESSION. CAN YOU HELP ME OUT OR NOT? I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO. THINK ABOUT WHAT I'VE SAID. (SIGHS) CREATURE: YOU CAN'T TRUST HER. YOU CAN'T TRUST ANY OF THEM ANYMORE. WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME? WHO ARE YOU?! I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW EMPTY THIS PLACE IS WITHOUT STUDENTS. YEAH, WELL, I'M HOPING YOU'LL FIND A WAY TO SAVE IT AFTER ALL THIS. ESPECIALLY FOR YOUR NEPHEW'S SAKE. THANKS. NO PRESSURE. NOPE. READY TO SUMMON? YEP. ALL READY TO GO. I STILL THINK WE SHOULD WAIT FOR LEO AND FIND OUT WHAT HE KNOWS ABOUT THE DEMON. NO, IT DOESN'T MATTER. AFTER WE SEND THEM BACK, HISTORY WILL TAKE CARE OF THEM AS LONG AS YOU FINISH YOUR RIDE. PROMISE. AND THANK YOU... FOR GIVING ME A GLIMPSE OF WHAT'S TO COME. THANK YOU FOR SHOWING US YOU'RE MORE THAN A BOX OF CHOCOLATES. I'M SORRY? NEVER MIND. OK. HERE WE GO. "WE LOOK TO FIND THE EVIL SET FREE, BRING THIS DEMON BEFORE US THREE." PIPER: HI, THERE! WHY DIDN'T HE EXPLODE? CHANTING, CHANTING. PAIGE: OK, OK, OK. "FROM LANDS AFAR IN TIME AND SPACE, "TAKE THEM NOW FROM THIS OUR PLACE. "TWO THAT DWELL SO MUST REMAIN, SEND THEM BACK TO THEIR DOMAIN." PAIGE: IT WORKED! UH-OH. THAT'S NOT GOOD. WELL, AT LEAST THEY'RE GONE. GREAT. WILL YOU GUYS DROP ME OFF AT THE OFFICE ON YOUR ORB HOME? I THOUGHT YOU WEREN'T LOOKING OVER LESLIE'S SHOULDERS ANYMORE. WELL, I'M NOT, BUT FIRST I HAVE TO GET HIM TO PICK MY LETTER. ORBING. OK, THANKS. MEET YOU GUYS AT HOME. LOOKS LIKE EVERYONE TOOK ELISE'S SEXUAL HARASSMENT MEMO LITERALLY. LESLIE: PHOEBE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? WHO'S WATCHING OUR CHILDREN? WHY AREN'T YOU AT HOME WITH THEM? EXCUSE ME? COME ON. OK. WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON? I THINK I KNOW. OH, I TOLD YOU WE SHOULD'VE WAITED FOR LEO. SHUT UP! SHUT UP! PHOEBE: IT'S NOT SO BAD IF YOU LIKE GREY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW EVERYTHING CHANGED SO MUCH. WELL, WE SENT THE DEMON BACK STRONGER THAN WHEN HE CAME, STRONG ENOUGH TO KILL LADY GODIVA. STILL, IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE HER RIDE AFFECTED JUST EVERYTHING. LOOK AT THIS. APPARENTLY IT HAD AN IMPACT ON US WOMEN, BECAUSE IT SENT US BACK, LIKE, 1,000 YEARS OR SO. WE HAVE TO FIX THIS. OH, NO! I LEFT WYATT AND CHRIS WITH THE ELFIN NANNY BEFORE-- PHOEBE: THAT'S OK. THEY'RE BOYS. THEY'RE PROBABLY BEING TREATED LIKE ROYALTY RIGHT NOW. HEY, WHY DIDN'T WE CHANGE? PROBABLY BECAUSE WE WERE AT MAGIC SCHOOL AND PROTECTED? OK, GUYS, I THINK WE'RE ATTRACTING A LITTLE TOO MUCH ATTENTION OUT HERE. WHAT SAY WE ORB BACK TO THE BOOK OF SHADOWS? NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK HOME. WHY? DID YOU HEAR WHAT LESLIE SAID? WELL, WE CAN'T STAY OUT HERE. WE'RE ATTRACTING TOO MUCH ATTENTION. YEAH, AND WE WOULDN'T WANT TO BE FLOGGED. SO MUCH FOR YOUR BREAST-FEEDING CAMPAIGN. CUTE. MAN: HEY! (SLAM) EVERY PEEP OUT OF YOU ADDS AN EXTRA FLOGGING TO YOUR SENTENCE. WHAT IS FLOGGING EXACTLY? I DON'T KNOW, BUT HOW ABOUT WE ORB OUT OF HERE SO WE DON'T HAVE TO FIND OUT? WHERE ARE WE GONNA GO? WE STILL HAVE TO FIX THIS SOMEHOW. GUARD: THAT'S 2 EXTRA FLOGGINGS EACH! OK. LOOK, WE NEED TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING, 'CAUSE I NEED TO FEED SOMEONE SOON. WHAT IF LADY GODIVA'S STILL ALIVE? OH, PAIGE, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET. WE ALL ARE, BUT WE CAN'T BRING HER BACK TO LIFE. NO, NO, NO. WHY CAN'T WE CONJURE HER? THAT WAY, SHE'D STILL BE ALIVE AND HER RIDE WOULD STILL BE AHEAD OF HER. I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT'S GONNA GET US BACK TO OUR WORLD. WELL, MAYBE IT WILL IF SHE CAN FINISH HER RIDE. WE'D HAVE TO VANQUISH THE DEMON FIRST THIS TIME. WE CAN DO THAT. WE JUST HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE. (WHISPERS) LEO! OH, WHAT IF HE'S DIFFERENT IN THIS WORLD, TOO? THAT'S A MIGHTY FINE QUESTION. LEO! WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING HERE? WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? PIPER: UH, LOOK, WE'RE KINDA IN A HURRY, SO CLIFF NOTES VERSION, DEMON KILLED LADY GODIVA, WE CHANGED HISTORY, WE GOTTA FIX IT, SO ARE YOU WITH ME OR WHAT? LADY GODIVA? UGH! YEAH, SHE PROBABLY DOESN'T MEAN MUCH TO YOU, BUT APPARENTLY SHE MEANS A LOT TO US. DUNCAN. WE'RE GOING TO NEED DUNCAN TO CONJURE HER. LEO, CAN YOU TAKE ME TO MAGIC SCHOOL? MAG--MAGIC SCHOOL HAS BEEN SHUT FOR YEARS. EVERYONE'S IN HIDING HERE, EVEN DEMONS. NO ONE DARE USES MAGIC. TALK ABOUT REPRESSED. OH, WELL, MAGIC STILL EXISTS, WHICH MEANS THIS KID DUNCAN HAS TO BE SOMEWHERE, RIGHT? THEY GOT NO PLACE ELSE TO GO. WE KEEP THEM HERE FOR THEIR OWN SAFETY. OK. GO BACK TO PHOEBE AND PIPER. HELP THEM FIND THE HISTORY BOOK. WE'RE GONNA NEED IT. DON'T ASK. IT WILL JUST GIVE YOU A HEADACHE. DUNCAN? (PAPER RUSTLING) NOBODY BY THAT NAME HERE. AH, YEAH, WELL, LOOK, I DON'T HAVE TIME TO PLAY GAMES. NEITHER DO I, SO IF YOU'RE THINKING OF JACKING MY STASH, DON'T. MURDOCK ROOT. THIS IS YOUR STASH? LOOK, LADY, I'M WARNING YOU. BACK OFF! UNDERSTAND? YOU'RE ONE OF THEM FREEDOM FIGHTERS? I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT, BUT I WOULD LIKE TO FREE YOU FROM THIS, UH, LIFE YOU'VE GOT GOING HERE. I JUST NEED A CONJURING SPELL. ARE YOU TRYING TO GET ME HANGED? JUST 'CAUSE THESE GUYS ARE GETTING AWAY WITH SOME PISS-ASS MAGIC DOESN'T MEAN WE'RE NOT BEING WATCHED. LOOK. I COME FROM A WORLD WHERE GOOD MAGIC ISN'T WASTED. AND IT CAN BE THAT WAY AGAIN. I JUST NEED YOUR CONJURING SPELL. YOU ARE ONE OF THE DO-GOODERS. THEY'RE ALWAYS SPEWING THAT CRAP. NO, THIS IS CRAP. OK? BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAVE DREAMS AND I KNOW YOU HAVE HOPES AND YOU'RE JUST SUPPRESSING THEM. YOU THINK I'M SCARED OF MY DREAMS, DON'T YOU? NO, 'CAUSE I'M NOT. YOU HAVE A CHOICE. YOU CAN EITHER STEP UP AND BE A MAN OR YOU CAN CRAWL BACK IN YOUR LITTLE RAT HOLE. IT'S UP TO YOU. NO JOAN OF ARC, NO CATHERINE THE GREAT, NONE OF THEM ARE IN HERE. KEEP LOOKIN'. IT'S PRETTY AMAZING THAT THIS WORLD IS SO MUCH MORE REPRESSED AND YET LEO SEEMS FREER. YEAH, I ALMOST FORGOT WHAT HE WAS LIKE. OK. I GOT THE SPELL. DID YOU FIND GODIVA? YEP, RIGHT HERE, BUT TALK ABOUT YOUR FINE PRINT. IT DOESN'T MATTER AS LONG AS SHE'S IN THERE. LEO: SO, WAIT, I DON'T UNDERSTAND. IF YOU RETURN HER BACK TO JUST BEFORE SHE WAS KILLED, HISTORY WILL REVERSE ITSELF? I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE HEADACHE THING, RIGHT? OK. SO AS SOON AS WE GET THEM HERE, YOU BLAST DYSON, THEN WE SEND HER BACK RIGHT AWAY. I THOUGHT WE HAD TO SEND THEM BACK TOGETHER. I'M HOPING NO, NOT IF DYSON DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE. BUT FIRST WE GOTTA TO MAKE SURE WE'RE OK. THERE'S NO BURIED RESENTMENTS THAT A HUNGRY DEMON COULD FEED OFF OF? PHOEBE? NO, I'M FINE. AS LONG AS LESLIE'S NOT IN THE ROOM, I'M FINE. YOU? NO, I'M GOOD. I PRETTY MUCH TELL YOU GUYS WHEN I'M PISSED OFF. THAT'S A GOOD POINT. PAIGE? SOMETIMES I FEEL REPRESSED BEING THE LITTLE SISTER. WHAT, YOU WANTED TO BE THE OLDEST SISTER? COME ON, NOW. GET OVER IT. OK, I'M OVER IT. "WHERE ROYALS ONCE LIVED, SO DID SHE, BRING FORTH A NAKED LADY FROM THE ELEVENTH CENTURY." THAT'S MORE LIKE IT. PAIGE? I THOUGHT YOU WERE SENDING ME BACK?! CHANGE OF PLANS. PERHAPS I NEED A LITTLE MORE POWER. OK. NICE TRY. PIPER? SO MUCH BOTTLED UP ANGER. YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH WITH YOUR MOPING. THE ELDERS SCREWED YOU?! WHAT ABOUT ME? PIPER, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I AM NOT GONNA RAISE 2 LITTLE BOYS ALL ON MY OWN BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY FEELING SORRY FOR YOURSELF! ALL RIGHT? SO GET OVER IT! SERIOUSLY! NOW, WHERE WAS I? ENERGY BALL! THAT'S NOT GOOD. PIPER, ENOUGH! OK. YOU GET PIPER. I'LL GET HIM. PIPER, SNAP OUT OF IT! IT'S THE DEMON DOING THIS TO YOU, NOT LEO. PIPER: NO! PHOEBE, SCOLDING: PIPER. PHOEBE, SCOLDING: PIPER. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW I WAS SO REPRESSED? YOU COULDN'T TELL? I'M A WORKING SINGLE MOTHER OF 2 KIDS. I BARELY HAVE TIME TO BRUSH MY TEETH, LET ALONE SELF-REFLECTION. WELL, MAYBE YOU SHOULD MAKE TIME. NOTHING THAT NEEDED HEALING. SHE'S JUST A LITTLE SHAKEN UP. I'LL BET SHE IS. WELL, GUYS, WE BETTER COME UP WITH A PLAN BECAUSE LORD DYSON IS OUT THERE GETTING STRONGER AS WE SPEAK. THANKS TO PIPER. ALL RIGHT! LOOK, ALL WE'RE SAYING IS THAT WHEN HE COMES BACK-- AND HE WILL. HE MIGHT BE TOO STRONG TO STOP, ESPECIALLY IF HE TAPS INTO LEO'S REPRESSED RAGE. I'M NOT GOING TO BE ABLE TO FINISH MY RIDE, AM I? NO, YOU'RE NOT. ORB HER OUT OF HERE. NO. SHE WON'T STAND A CHANCE. HE'LL FEED OFF LEO. JUST GET HER OUT OF HERE. WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. "WE'LL THINK OF SOMETHING?" THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO? RIGHT HERE! I'M OFFICIALLY OPEN TO OTHER IDEAS. OK. MAYBE WE SHOULD LET HIM GET TO LEO. MAYBE HE'LL OVERDOSE. OR BECOME UNSTOPPABLE. HE ALREADY IS THAT. OK. I AM ORBING YOU GUYS OUTTA HERE. NO. ACTUALLY YOU'RE GOING TO LET HIM FEED ON YOU. SEE YA. GOOD LUCK, MAN. WHAT? LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE BEEN HIDING FROM ME. OHH, SO MUCH, SO READY TO COME OUT. WELL, LET IT OUT. LET IT ALL OUT. YOU DEMONS HAVE IT SO EASY. NO MORALITY TO WORRY ABOUT... NO ATTACHMENTS. NO ONE TO LOSE. YEAH, YOU TELL HIM, LEO! WHEN YOU KILL, YOU FEEL NOTHING! OHH! HOW YOU DOIN'? FEELS GOOD TO GET RID OF ALL THAT STUFF, HUH? AHH, YOU DID IT. YOU VANQUISHED HIM. THANKS TO LEO. OH, FINALLY, I'M FREE! YES, YOU ARE. DUNCAN: ME? WHY DON'T YOU SEND HER BACK? I DON'T WANT TO USE MAGIC ANYMORE. YOU CAN'T STOP USING YOUR MAGIC ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN STOP BREATHING, DUNCAN. WELL, I DON'T WANT TO BE THAT WAY ANYMORE. YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE. NONE OF US DO. LOOK, YOU MESSED UP. BIG DEAL! THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE HERE FOR, TO LEARN, TO GAIN CONTROL OVER YOUR POWERS. YOU HAVE TO SHOW THAT YOU CAN FIX THIS FOR ALL OUR SAKES. BUT WHAT IF THEY'RE WATCHING? I HOPE THEY'RE WATCHING. YOU CAN DO THIS. SO, UH... YOU READY TO GO BACK? I CAN'T WAIT. DUNCAN, THE SPELL? OH. RIGHT. RIGHT. UM... A TIME FOR EVERYTHING AND EVERYTHING IN PLACE, RETURN WHAT'S BEEN MOVED THROUGH TIME AND SPACE. I KNEW YOU COULD DO IT. I GOT THIS ONE. YOU CAN'T HELP YOURSELF, CAN YOU, PAIGE? YOU JUST CAN'T LEAVE WELL ENOUGH ALONE. IF WELL ENOUGH ALONE MEANS SHUTTING DOWN MAGIC SCHOOL, THEN NO. THEN NO, I CAN'T. IF YOU DON'T GIVE THESE AMAZING KIDS A PLACE TO GO AND EXPRESS THEMSELVES, THEN YOU ARE GOING TO BE CRUSHING THEIR SPIRITS AND RELEGATING THEM TO HIDING IN CAVES AND ALLEYWAYS AND ABUSING MAGIC, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOWHERE ELSE TO TURN. I THINK YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT. SO... WE WON'T SHUT IT DOWN. WHAT? AS LONG AS YOU CAN PROVE THAT YOU CAN KEEP RUNNING IT. ME? AW, NO, NO, NOT--NO. HA HA. NO, I'LL FIND SOMEONE. AH--AH... YOU CAN DO THIS. HEY, THIS BETTER BE GOOD. I WAS JUST IN THE MIDDLE OF PUTTING WYATT DOWN FOR A NAP. YEAH. IT LOOKS LIKE LADY GODIVA HAS QUITE AN IMPACT ON OUR PHOEBE'S CAUSE. OH, MY GOODNESS! (CROWD SHOUTING) EXCUSE ME. THIS MAN IS STILL LIVING IN THE ELEVENTH CENTURY! HE WANTS WOMEN TO BE BAREFOOT AND PREGNANT AND STAY AT HOME. (CROWD BOOING) HE THINKS WE SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF BREAST-FEEDING, THE MOST NATURAL THING IN THE WORLD. WELL, SHAME ON HIM! I'M NOT ASHAMED AND NEITHER SHOULD YOU BE. (CROWD CHEERING) AND IT'S A SHAME THAT WOMEN HAVE TO TAKE OFF THEIR CLOTHES TO BE HEARD. WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BE EXPLOITED LIKE THIS. RIGHT?! CROWD: RIGHT! YEAH! OK, OK. EXCUSE ME. EXCUSE ME. THERE! ARE YOU SATISFIED NOW? - YEAH! - YEAH! - WOO! - YEAH! CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.