LORD OF THE RINGS. HISTORICALLY INACCURATE. HARRY POTTER. FILLED WITH JUVENILE DELINQUENTS. EVEN THE WIZARD OF OZ? DISPARAGING TO LITTLE PEOPLE. MUNCHKINS BEING PERSECUTED. FILTH! OH, COME ON. SERIOUSLY. IT IS THE SAME STORY WITH ALL THE BOOKS. NONE OF THEM DESERVE TO BE BANNED. I SUPPOSE YOU WANT ANOTHER NAKED GODIVA RIDING OUT OF THE BOOK AGAIN. IS THAT WHAT THIS IS ALL ABOUT? GODIVA? IT'S JUST AN EXCUSE AND HE KNOWS IT. HE'S USING IT TO PUSH HIS OWN AGENDA, WHICH IS TO STIFLE FREEDOM OF SPEECH. HA! THAT'S WHAT I CALL STIFLING. THAT IS UNCALLED FOR. YOU GIVE HER HER MOUTH BACK NOW. WHY, YOU LITTLE WORM. I SHOULD-- LITTLE! DID YOU HEAR THAT? SHE'S A SIZIST. WHAT?! I DIDN'T-- OK. MISS DONOVAN, WOULD YOU PLEASE JUST GIVE US A MOMENT, OK? (SIGHS) IT'S ALWAYS THE ONES YOU LEAST EXPECT. PROFESSOR, PLEASE. YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND, SHE IS A LIBRARIAN. BOOKS ARE HER LIFE. BESIDES, I DON'T THINK SHE'S WRONG. NONE OF THESE BOOKS ARE DANGEROUS. CROSSED, DOUBLE-CROSSED? THIS DOESN'T EVEN LOOK MAGICAL. JUST LOOK AT THE COVER. IT'S FILLED WITH VIOLENCE, I'M SURE. YOU HAVEN'T EVEN READ THAT? DIDN'T WASTE MY TIME. IT'S GARBAGE. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THE THIRTIES WERE A FABULOUS ERA, OK? DRAMA, PASSION, INTRIGUE. UH, EXCUSE ME, PAIGE. SORRY. COULD I TALK TO YOU A MINUTE? JUST A MINUTE. PROFESSOR, THE NEXT TIME YOU ATTEMPT TO BAN BOOKS, HOW ABOUT YOU ATTEMPT READING SOME? THANK YOU FOR SAVING ME FROM THAT LITTLE GNOME. I WAS ABOUT TO STRANGLE HIM. YOU'RE WELCOME. HOW'D YOU LIKE TO RETURN THE FAVOR BY, SAY, UH, BABY-SITTING TONIGHT? UM, HMM...NO. THAT'S ALL I DO HERE, LEO. I BABY-SIT. I BABY-SIT STUDENTS, I BABY-SIT TEACHERS, I BABY-SIT. COME ON, PAIGE. PLEASE? IT'S THE ONLY WAY PIPER WILL GO OUT WITH ME, IF I CAN GET SOMEBODY TO WATCH THE KIDS. YOU ASKED PIPER OUT? AND SHE SAID YES? WELL, I HAVEN'T ACTUALLY ASKED HER OUT YET. SHE'S BEEN A LITTLE UNAPPROACHABLE LATELY. MAYBE IT'S BECAUSE YOU'VE DONE THIS KIND OF MIRACULOUS TURNAROUND? MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST EASE INTO THINGS A LITTLE. WELL, THAT'S WHY THE DATE. PHOEBE'S BEEN HELPING ME PLAN IT OUT. SHE'S GIVING ME SOME TIPS. COME ON, PLEASE. (SIGHS) I REALLY DON'T WANT TO. I JUST DON'T. I DON'T-- THANKS, YOU'RE THE BEST. LEO! (MISS DONOVAN SCREAMS) WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT HAPPENED? I DON'T KNOW. MISS DONOVAN, ARE YOU SURE YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANYTHING, SEE ANYTHING? NO, WHEN I CAME, HE WAS LYING THERE, DEAD. OK. WHAT IS SO STRANGE ABOUT THIS IS THAT MAGIC SCHOOL IS MEANT TO BE PROTECTED. NOBODY CAN GET KILLED HERE, LET ALONE WITH BULLETS. WELL, IT DID HAPPENED BEFORE. ONCE. WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED? WELL, ABOUT 20 YEARS AGO, THERE WERE TWO STUDENTS. BROTHERS. ONE OF THEM KILLED THE OTHER. MAYBE IT'S HIM. OK, LET'S MAKE THIS FAST. I'VE GOT A CITY OF LONELY PEOPLE, AND I'M PLAYING CUPID. OH. MISS DONOVAN, WHY ARE YOU CRYING? IT'S ONE OF OUR TEACHERS. OH, DID HE BREAK YOUR HEART? WELL, YOU CALLED THE RIGHT PERSON. I CAN HANDLE THIS. NO. SHH. CUPID WORKS ALONE. NOW, DID HE HURT YOU? I-- I KNOW, I KNOW. IT HURTS. BUT YOU CAN'T GIVE UP ON LOVE. IT COULD BE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE YOU EVER MAKE. NOW, I COULD FIX YOU UP WITH ONE OF MY READERS BECAUSE I'M DOING THIS SERIES IN MY NEWSPAPER WHERE I'M PLAYING MATCHMAKER, AND I ACTUALLY HAVE ONE IN MIND FOR YOU. PAIGE: WAIT! HE DIDN'T BREAK HER HEART. HE WAS MURDERED. OH. IT WAS AWFUL. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME THAT? I TRIED TO, BUT CUPID SHUSHED ME. MISS DONOVAN, UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT WHAT IS GOING ON HERE OR WHO DID THIS, NOBODY CAN LEAVE THE SCHOOL. I DIDN'T KILL HIM. THEN I'M SURE YOU WON'T MIND STAYING UNTIL WE FIGURE OUT WHO DID. CRYSTALS, CIRCLE. LET'S GO TALK IN THE OTHER ROOM. OK. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK, NANCY DREW? LOVER'S QUARREL? HARDLY. SHE HATED HIM. EVERYBODY DID. THAT MEANS THE ENTIRE SCHOOL IS SUSPECT. WHAT? WAIT. A GNOME WAS SHOT? THAT SEEMS AWFULLY HUMAN, DOESN'T IT? YEAH. I'D SAY WE WERE DEFINITELY OUT OF OUR LEAGUE. WE DON'T DO BULLETS. WE NEED TO CALL THE POLICE. DID YOU TRY DARYL? I TRIED. HE HUNG UP ON ME AGAIN. LOOK, THE WAY HE FEELS ABOUT MAGIC, HE'S NOT COMING HERE ANY TIME SOON. SO I GUESS WE'RE ON OUR OWN. WE COULD TRY KYLE. WHAT, BRODY? YOU WANNA TELL BRODY ABOUT THE MAGIC SCHOOL NOW? THERE ISN'T GONNA BE A MAGIC SCHOOL IF THE ELDERS FIND OUT THAT THERE WAS A MURDER ON MY WATCH, SO WE NEED TO SOLVE THIS FAST. YEAH, BUT BRODY? KYLE. OK, LOOK, I'M SORRY. I REALLY AM. AND I TRIED. I DID. BUT I DON'T TRUST HIM. THEREFORE I'M GONNA CONTINUE CALLING HIM BRODY, AND YOU COULD CALL HIM KYLE BECAUSE YOU HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. I DO NOT HAVE A CRUSH ON HIM. MY INTEREST IS STRICTLY PROFESSIONAL. RIGHT. LISTEN, I'M THE HEADMISTRESS OF THIS SCHOOL, OK? SO I DECIDE. AND I TRUST HIM. I NEED HIM TO DO THE C.S.I. PART OF THIS. CAN YOU PLEASE GET PIPER? CHECK THE BOOK AND YOU DO THE MAGICAL PART. WHAT ABOUT THE WHOLE DATE I PLANNED FOR PIPER? DID LEO TELL YOU ABOUT THE ROSES? THE ROSES ARE GREAT. HOME! IT'S A GREAT IDEA. SHE'S GONNA WALK IN-- (SIGHS) ALL RIGHT. WHAT'S GOING ON? LEO: DO YOU LIKE THEM? LEO? WHAT IF SOMEBODY SAW THIS? I SENSED... THERE'S NOBODY HERE. NOBODY EXCEPT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. (CHUCKLES) HAVE YOU BEEN ON TOP OF THE BRIDGE AGAIN LATELY? 'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU, THERE IS NOT ENOUGH OXYGEN UP THERE. IT'S NOT THAT. I'M JUST STARTING TO SEE THINGS MORE CLEARLY NOW. AND THE THING I SEE MOST CLEAR IS YOU. I WANT US TO START OVER AGAIN. UH...LIKE...RIGHT NOW? AS IN TODAY? WELL, WHY WAIT? LOOK, I'M NOT ASKING FOR MUCH. JUST HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT. UM, I CAN'T. WHO'S GONNA WATCH THE KIDS? PAIGE. DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CLUB. REX SAID HE COULD HANDLE IT. YOU TALKED TO MY MANAGER BEFORE YOU TALKED TO ME? WELL, I WANTED YOUR MIND TO BE AT EASE. YEAH, THAT'S NOT REALLY WORKING. DON'T YOU WANT WANNA BE WITH ME AGAIN? NO-- OF COURSE, I DO. IT'S JUST-- IT'S JUST WHAT? IT'S JUST DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW? I'VE SPENT MONTHS TRYING TO KEEP YOU FROM FALLING INTO THIS PSYCHOTIC ABYSS, AND NOW THAT YOU'RE FINE, I CAN'T JUST FLIP A SWITCH AND BE ALL LOVEY DOVEY. IT DOESN'T WORK THAT WAY. (TELEPHONE RINGS) HELLO? YEAH, OK. I'M ON MY WAY. WHAT?! THEY'RE BEAUTIFUL, PHOEBE. NOW STAY OUT OF IT. SHE'S JUST TRYING TO HELP. YEAH, I KNOW. LOOK, LEO, I APPRECIATE THE GESTURE. I DO. AND I'M NOT SAYING NO. I'M JUST SAYING... I NEED SOME TIME. I UNDERSTAND. THE ROSES ARE LOVELY. BUT YOU COULD DO SO MUCH MORE WITH OUR COLLECTIVE POWERS. WHAT'S THE POINT IF I DON'T GET PIPER BACK? I THOUGHT WE HAD SHOWN YOU THE POINT, LEO. A WORLD BEYOND GOOD AND EVIL. A WORLD WITHOUT CONFLICT. WITHOUT PIPER. IN TIME, SHE MAY RETURN. BUT FOR NOW, YOU MUST EMBRACE YOUR NEW LIFE AS AN AVATAR AND HELP THE SISTERS INTO THE FOLD. COME ON IN. WOW, OBSESS MUCH ABOUT THE AVATARS? YEAH, IT'S PRETTY MUCH ALL I'VE BEEN ABLE TO THINK ABOUT SINCE I FOUND OUT WHAT THEY WERE CALLED. I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A BREAK LIKE THIS FOR A WHILE. DID YOU FIND OUT ANYTHING NEW ABOUT THEM? NO, NOT REALLY. JUST, UM, YOU KNOW, PIECES. NOT ENOUGH TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO FIND THEM OR WHAT THEY WANT. UM, WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU GOT OUT OF HERE? I DON'T KNOW, A COUPLE DAYS. OH. WELL, HOW ABOUT COMING OUT WITH ME AND GETTING SOME NICE, FRESH AIR. NO, THANKS. I REALLY THINK I SHOULD-- I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD COME WITH ME AND FOCUS ON SOMETHING EQUALLY MYSTERIOUS. YEAH? LIKE WHAT? LIKE A MURDER MYSTERY. WE COULD REALLY USE YOUR HELP. PAIGE, COME ON. YOU KNOW I DIDN'T COME HERE FOR THAT. I KNOW. BUT IF YOU HELP US, I CAN LET YOU TAKE A LITTLE PEEK AT MAGIC SCHOOL. ALL RIGHT, TALK TO ME. OK, WELL, JUST SO YOU KNOW, THE FLOWERS WERE TOTALLY LEO'S IDEA. IT WAS JUST MY IDEA TO GET A LOT OF THEM, AND TO HAVE YOU WALK-- I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE GNOME, NOT THE HUSBAND. OH, RIGHT. OF COURSE. WELL, ACCORDING TO THE BOOK, THEY DON'T HAVE ANY NATURAL ENEMIES, BUT AS A SPECIES, THEY TEND TO PISS PEOPLE OFF. BUT YOU SAID HE WAS SHOT. WHO WOULD SHOOT A GNOME? AND WHY IS THE "G" SILENT? THAT'S A REALLY GOOD QUESTION. I THINK THE FACT THAT HE WAS SHOT IN MAGIC SCHOOL IS WHAT WORRIES PAIGE THE MOST. I DON'T BLAME HER. THE BOYS AREN'T STILL THERE, ARE THEY? NO, SHE BROUGHT THEM BACK. THEY'RE TAKING THEIR NAPS. I'M JUST GETTING REALLY TIRED OF THIS. OH, DON'T WORRY. WE'LL FIGURE OUT WHO KILLED HIM. NO, NOT THE GNOME. THE HUSBAND. OH. I CAN'T KEEP UP. HE'S JUST TRYING TO RECONNECT WITH YOU. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? NO, I KNOW. I DO. AND I WOULD LIKE TO DO THAT AS WELL. JUST--I DON'T KNOW, I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK-- YOUR GUARD'S UP. YEAH, AND-- YOU WANNA LOWER IT, YOU JUST CAN'T. AND STILL I-- FEEL VULNERABLE, AND YOU DON'T WANNA GET HURT AGAIN. UH, COULD I POSSIBLY HAVE A CHANCE TO EXPRESS MY FEELINGS? OH, YEAH. SURE. GO AHEAD. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO. I MEAN, HE'S BEEN GREAT, HE'S BEEN REALLY GREAT, AND HE'S TOTALLY CHANGED, BUT...I CAN'T HELP BUT FEEL... THAT SOMETHING'S JUST NOT RIGHT. IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE. BUT THEN... I CAN'T JUST SHUT UP AND BE HAPPY, RIGHT? WELL, IT'S ABOUT TIME. SORRY. SORRY WE TOOK SO LONG. WHO'S THIS? UH, AGENT BRODY. HOMELAND SECURITY-- OOH. SORRY. FORGOT TO WARN YOU ABOUT THAT. OH! ARE YOU OK? NO, I'M NOT. SO, WHAT IS SHE? LIKE, A DEMON, WARLOCK, WHAT? NO. I'M A LIBRARIAN. AND A SUSPECT, UNLESS YOU SAY OTHERWISE. ALL CLEAR. YEAH. JUST CHECKING. ALL RIGHT. IF YOU COULD HOLD OUT YOUR HANDS FOR ME, PLEASE. WHY? WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO? WELL, IF YOU FIRED A GUN RECENTLY, THIS WILL SHOW THE RESIDUE. I'M TELLING YOU, IT HAD TO BE THE MULLEN BOY. WHO? EDDIE MULLEN. I REMEMBERED HIS NAME NOW. THE KID WHO SHOT HIS BROTHER 20 YEARS AGO HERE. OK. BUT HOW AND WHY WOULD THIS PERSON COME BACK? I DON'T KNOW. WELL, SHE'S... SHE'S CLEAN. SHE COULDN'T HAVE DONE IT. THANK YOU. SORRY ABOUT THAT. CAN YOU DO ME A HUGE FAVOR? FIND OUT EVERYTHING YOU CAN ABOUT THE MULLEN BROTHERS. AND KEEP IT QUIET 'CAUSE I REALLY DON'T WANT THE ELDERS TO FIND OUT. VERY WELL. THANKS. WHERE'S THE BODY? WHOA. ARE ALL THESE BOOKS ON MAGIC? YES, THEY ARE. ANY OF THEM ON THE AVATARS. I DON'T KNOW, BUT I'LL LET YOU LOOK AT ALL OF THEM IF YOU CAN HELP ME OUT WITH THIS. OH. WHAT IS HE? HE'S A GNOME, AND ONE OF MY TEACHERS. GNOME. GREAT. SO NOW I SUPPOSE YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME LEPRECHAUNS AND FAIRIES EXIST NOW, TOO? OH, WELL, ACTUALLY, YEAH-- NEVER MIND. I CAN ONLY TAKE SO MUCH AT A TIME. WELL...THE BODY WAS MOVED. HE WASN'T SHOT HERE. HOW DO YOU KNOW? THERE'S NO BLOOD SPLATTER ON THE FLOOR. CROSSED, DOUBLE-CROSSED. BY THE MULLEN-- THE MULLEN BROTHERS. MULLEN BROTHERS? IT'S NOT FINISHED. HUH. "THE STREETS WERE QUIET AFTER SHORTY DIED. TOO QUIET." (CHUCKLES) SHORTY. CLOSE THE BOOK! WHAT HAPPENED? WHERE ARE WE? WHOA! OH, GOD, I THINK WE GOT SUCKED INTO THE BOOK, JUST LIKE THE GNOME. SUCKED INTO THE BOOK? OH, YEAH. DON'T WORRY. MAGICAL THINGS HAPPEN TO US ALL THE TIME, BUT... THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IN BLACK AND WHITE. YEAH, BLACK AND WH-- HOW ARE WE IN BLACK AND WHITE? PAIGE, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE? WELL, WELL. WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE? A COUPLE OF NEWCOMERS. I MEAN, YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME. YOU PALS OF SHORTY'S? OH, THE GNOME. LET ME HANDLE THIS. YEAH, MAYBE WE ARE. WHAT'S IT TO YOU? DON'T GET WISE WITH ME, LEGS. YOU'RE HERE FOR THE SAME REASON THAT SHORTY WAS. YOU'RE LOOKIN' FOR THE FALCON, AIN'T YA? WELL, IT BELONGS TO JOHNNY. LOOK, GUYS, I THINK YOU'VE GOT US CONFUSED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE. NAH, I DON'T THINK SO. ORB US OUT OF HERE, PAIGE. I CAN'T! MY POWERS DON'T WORK! JUST RUN! COME ON, RUN! YOU'VE TURNED ME INTO A FELON. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? BREAKING AND ENTERING, VANDALISM, THEFT. LOOK, IT'S A FICTIONAL STORE IN A FICTIONAL WORLD. I HIGHLY DOUBT WE'RE BREAKING ANY LAWS. IT MAY BE A FICTIONAL WORLD, BUT THOSE BULLETS SEEMED PRETTY DAMN REAL TO ME. YEAH, WELL, THAT'S PRECISELY WHY WE NEED TO BLEND IN BEFORE THOSE GOONS COME TO GET US AGAIN. ARE YOU PEEKING? NOPE. ARE YOU? DO WE HAVE ANY CHANCE OF GETTING OUT OF HERE LIKE THE GNOME DID, ONLY ALIVE? I DON'T KNOW. I THINK THE BOOK EXPELLED HIM AFTER HE WAS KILLED. SAME THING MUST'VE HAPPENED TO THE MULLEN BOY. WAIT A MINUTE. I THOUGHT-- I THOUGHT HE WAS KILLED BY HIS BROTHER. WELL, I THINK EVERYBODY THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE THEY DISAPPEARED AT THE SAME EXACT TIME. MAYBE HE'S STILL HERE. WELL, WE GOTTA FIND HIM THEN. I MEAN, IF HE WROTE THE THING, HE'S GOTTA KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF HERE, RIGHT? ALTHOUGH, IF HE DOES KNOW, WHY WOULDN'T HE HAVE LEFT? I MEAN, IT'S BEEN 20 YEARS. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. BUT IF WE FIND HIM, THEN MAYBE HE CAN, YOU KNOW-- WE CAN, UH... WOW. YOU LOOK GREAT. THANK YOU. DO I LOOK LIKE LANA TURNER? RIGHT OUT OF 'THE POSTMAN ALWAYS RINGS TWICE.' THE GOOD VERSION. YOU KNOW, UM... YOU MAY NOT BLEND IN VERY WELL IN THAT OUTFIT, THERE, LANA. WELL, I'M THINKING AS LONG AS WE'RE DOWN HERE, WE MIGHT AS WELL HAVE SOME FUN. YEAH, WELL, YOU HAVE FUN. I'M GONNA JUST SURVIVE. HERE IT IS. "MULLEN." (SIRENS APPROACHING) YOU THINK THEY'RE COMING AFTER US? I DON'T THINK WE SHOULD STICK AROUND AND FIND OUT. COME ON, OUT THE WINDOW. LET'S GO. I GOT IT. GO AROUND BACK. TRY AND PINCH 'EM. YOU THINK THEY'RE AFTER THE FALCON? ISN'T EVERYBODY? BUT IF THEY THINK THEY'RE GONNA GET IT BEFORE WE DO, THEY GOT ANOTHER THING COMING. I'M TELLING YOU, I DON'T KNOW WHERE PAIGE IS. I HAVEN'T SEEN HER SINCE SHE SENT ME TO GET THESE FILES. BUT YOU WERE HER PRIME SUSPECT. HOW DID YOU GET OUT OF THE CAGE? WELL, SHE LET ME OUT AFTER HER COP FRIEND EXONERATED ME. DARYL? BRODY. SHE BROUGHT HIM HERE? HE WANTED TO SEE THE BODY. THAT'S WHY THEY CAME THIS WAY. THAT'S ODD. WHAT'S ODD? THAT BOOK. IT'S BEEN MOVED. (GASPS) WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SEE? I SAW PAIGE ON THE BEST-SELLER LIST. SHE'S IN THIS BOOK. THEY BOTH ARE. WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN? OPEN IT UP. GET 'EM OUT. NO, I CAN'T. WHAT IF IT SUCKS US IN THERE, TOO? OH, GOD. WE NEED LEO. LEO? LOOK, PIPER, I KNOW YOU NEED TIME, BUT I DON'T THINK WE HAVE IT. AT LEAST LEO WILL BE ABLE TO SENSE THEM AND MAKE SURE THEY'RE OK. ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. OK. BUT WE SHOULD DO THIS AT HOME IN CASE WE NEED THE BOOK OF SHADOWS TO GET THEM OUT. CAN YOU WATCH WYATT AND CHRIS? OH, SURE. OF COURSE. BUT TAKE THESE. HERE ARE THE MULLEN BROTHERS SCHOOL RECORDS. IT MIGHT HELP. THE MULLEN BROTHERS. WHO ARE THEY? THEY'RE DICKS. HEH HEH. DICKS. NO, LIKE PRIVATE EYES. DETECTIVES. DON'T YOU SEE? THEY WROTE THEMSELVES IN AS THE HEROES OF THEIR OWN BOOKS. LIKE SAM SPADE OR PHILIP MARLOWE. OH, SORRY. DIDN'T MEAN TO INTERRUPT. THE NEWCOMERS? EDDIE, I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU DIDN'T KNOW THEM. UM, I DON'T. I'VE NEVER SEEN 'EM BEFORE IN MY LIFE. WAIT A MINUTE. YOU'RE EDDIE? YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT? NO, WE WERE JUST EXPECTING SOMEBODY OLDER. YOU LIKE OLDER, TOOTS? YOU OUGHTA TAKE A GANDER MY WAY. HEY, WHY DON'T YOU GANDER SOMEWHERE ELSE, BUDDY? WHO ARE YOU? MY NAME'S JOHNNY. JOHNNY THE GENT. I THINK YOU MADE THE ACQUAINTANCE OF A FEW OF MY BOYS. JOHNNY. RIGHT. YEAH, I THINK THEY DROPPED YOUR NAME IN BETWEEN TOMMY GUN BLASTS. SIMPLE MISUNDERSTANDING. EVERYONE'S ON EDGE ON ACCOUNT OF THE FALCON. THE FALCON AS IN THE MALTESE FALCON? NAH. EVERYONE KNOWS THE MALTESE WAS A FAKE. THIS ONE'S THE REAL DEAL. THE BURMESE FALCON. BURMESE? YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS? THAT'S A TOTAL RIP-OFF. RIP-OFF OR NO, I FIGURE THAT'S WHY YOU'RE HERE. YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO KNOW WHERE IT IS, WOULD YOU? MAYBE WE DO. BUT THAT'S BETWEEN US AND EDDIE. WE HAVE BUSINESS TO DISCUSS. ALONE. THANKS, I GOT ENOUGH BUSINESS. NO, PLEASE. YOU'RE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN HELP US. SEE, WE, UH... WE CAME FROM YOUR SCHOOL. WE JUST CAN'T SEEM TO FIND OUR WAY BACK. BE POLITE, EDDIE. HEAR 'EM OUT. BESIDES, IT MIGHT BE LUCRATIVE. I'LL BE IN TOUCH. OF ALL THE BOOKS IN ALL THE LIBRARIES IN ALL THE WORLD, YOU GOTTA GET SUCKED INTO THIS ONE? YOU DON'T SEEM TOO HAPPY TO SEE US. WELL, SHOULD I BE? WHAT'RE YOU DOING? DON'T YOU KNOW THOSE THINGS'LL KILL YOU? WELL, IF THE SMOKES DON'T GET ME, THE BULLETS WILL. JUST LIKE THEY GOT YOUR BROTHER? LOOK, WHAT HAPPENED, EDDIE? WHO KILLED HIM? IT WAS A COUPLE OF CORRUPT COPS. THEY WERE TRYING TO STOP HIM FROM GETTING TO THE FALCON BEFORE THEY DID. THE FALCON. WHAT IS IT WITH THIS FALCON? WHY DOES EVERYONE WANT IT SO BADLY? 'CAUSE WE WROTE 'EM THAT WAY, THAT'S WHY. IT'S THEIR WHOLE MOTIVATION. VERY IMPRESSIVE. QUITE A MAGICAL WORLD YOU BOYS HAVE CONCOCTED HERE. YOU MUST'VE BEEN VERY ADVANCED STUDENTS. DAN WAS THE CREATIVE ONE. IT WAS HIS IDEA. I WAS JUST ALONG FOR THE RIDE. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN. SO WHY HAVEN'T YOU LEFT YET? I CAN'T. THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO END THE STORY. CAN'T DO THAT UNTIL THE FALCON'S FOUND. YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS? NO. DAN AND I LAID DOWN THE FUNDAMENTALS, THE BEGINNING. THE STORY'S GOT A LIFE OF ITS OWN NOW. SO WHAT'VE YOU BEEN DOING FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, SITTING ON YOUR ASS? 20 YEARS? NO, DAN JUST DIED YESTERDAY. NO, NOT ON THE OUTSIDE, HE DIDN'T. YOU GUYS HAVE CREATED SOME SORT OF DIFFERENT TIME IN HERE, ONE WHERE NO ONE AGES, APPARENTLY. NO. THEY JUST GET KILLED. THANKS TO ME. THIS IS RIDICULOUS, ALL RIGHT? LOOK, KID-- (TELEPHONE RINGS) THIS IS EDDIE. HOLD THE LINE, PLEASE. NOW, WOULD YOU ALL MIND... YEAH, NO PROBLEM. ALL RIGHT, GO AHEAD, JOHNNY. NAH, THEY DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE FALCON, BUT I THINK THEY'RE GONNA BE TROUBLE ANYWAYS. I'M TELLING YOU, HE KNOWS MORE THAN HE'S LETTING ON. HE'S HIDING SOMETHING. YEAH, HE'S HIDING PAIN. REAL PAIN. I DON'T THINK THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE PART OF THE STORY. SO WHAT IF HE FEELS GUILTY? IT DOESN'T MEAN HE DIDN'T KILL HIS BROTHER. WE COULD BE NEXT. LOOK, I KNOW AN INNOCENT, OK. I THINK THE ONLY WAY FOR US TO GET OUT OF THIS IS TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO HELP HIM FIRST. I DON'T KNOW-- GOOD NEWS. THAT WAS AN ANONYMOUS SOURCE, GAVE ME A LEAD ON THE FALCON. OH, WELL, THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S GREAT. SO, WHAT, YOU JUST HAPPEN TO GET THIS TIP JUST NOW? YOU GUYS COMING HERE MUST HAVE TRIGGERED THE STORY TO MOVE FORWARD. IF WE FIND THE FALCON, WE CAN GET OUT. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YEAH, OF COURSE. ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANT? YEAH, SURE. I'LL GO GET MY CAR. I HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING. WHAT? WHAT IS IT? STRANGE. ALMOST FEELS AS IF SOMEONE'S CALLING TO ME. PAIGE IS STILL ALIVE IN THERE. I DON'T KNOW ABOUT KYLE. WAIT. YOU'RE CALLING HIM KYLE NOW, TOO? THAT'S HIS NAME, ISN'T IT? I KNEW SHE SHOULD NOT HAVE GOTTEN HIM INVOLVED IN THIS. THIS WAS A BAD IDEA. I'M SURE IT'S HIS FAULT. FORGET ABOUT WHOSE FAULT IT IS. WE NEED TO GET THEM OUT OF THERE WITHOUT GETTING TRAPPED OURSELVES. MAYBE I CAN HELP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'LL BE OK. LEO! YOU MUST HAVE SHORTED IT OUT. HOW DID YOU DO THAT? I GUESS I'M JUST A LITTLE MORE FOCUSED NOW. WHAT IS IT DOING? PHOEBE: IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S WRITING ITSELF AS IF IT WERE UNFOLDING RIGHT NOW. IS THAT PAIGE AND BRODY? WHO'S DRIVING? UH, EDDIE MULLEN, I THINK. LISTEN: "RIDING IN EDDIE'S CAR, LANA AND THE FED..." "LANA AND THE FED"? HEY, AT LEAST HE'S NOT CALLING HIM KYLE, KNOW WHAT I MEAN? "LANA AND THE FED "HAD NO IDEA THEY WERE BEING DRIVEN STRAIGHT INTO A TRAP." HE'S SETTING THEM UP. YEAH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT? IT'S CALLED 'CROSSED, DOUBLE-CROSSED'. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I AM TRYING MY HAND AT BEING A NOVELIST. SEE IF I CAN WRITE IN A LITTLE TWIST TO HELP PAIGE OUT. UH, "THEN SUDDENLY... THEY GOT A FLAT TYRE." (TYRE BLOWS) WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? IT'S A FLAT TYRE, BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. WHAT? YOU CAN'T GET A FLAT TYRE IN YOUR BOOK? NO. IT'S TOO CLICHE. OK, WHO PUT IT IN THERE? WHOA, WHOA, WHERE YOU GOIN'? WELL, IT'S JUST UP AROUND THE CORNER. WE CAN GET THERE ON FOOT. OH, COME ON. YOU'RE LYING. EASE UP. HE'S LYING. EDDIE, I WANT SOME ANSWERS AND I WANT 'EM NOW. WELL, I THINK YOU GOT YOUR ANSWER. WE WERE WONDERING WHAT'S TAKING SO LONG, EDDIE. WE'VE BEEN WAITING. EDDIE, WHAT'S GOING ON? I'M SORRY TO DO THIS TO YOU, REALLY, I AM BUT, YOU SEE, THIS STORY CAN NEVER END. "THE COUPLE KNEW THEY'D BEEN DOUBLE-CROSSED AND THERE WAS NO WAY OUT." NOPE, THIS ONE'S NOT WORKING, EITHER. TRY THIS ONE. THE PENS ARE FINE. THE BOOK'S JUST NOT LETTING YOU WRITE THEM OUT OF IT. YEAH, BUT WHY NOT? WELL, MAYBE IT'S AGAINST THE RULES. I DON'T KNOW. THE BOOK IS WRITING ITSELF. WELL, MAYBE THEY HAVE TO SAVE THEMSELVES. THEN WHY WAS I ABLE TO WRITE IN THE FLAT TYRE? IT WAS JUST ANOTHER PLOT TWIST, WHICH WE COULD ADD... BUT WE CAN'T BAIL THEM OUT. HEROES HAVE TO BE HEROES. I READ A LOT. YES, I KNOW YOU DO. MAYBE YOU SHOULD GET OUT A LITTLE MORE. EASY, CUPID. ALL RIGHT, MAYBE YOU OUGHTA FOCUS ON THE BOOK. MAYBE THERE'S SOMETHING IN THE PROSE THAT CAN HELP. IN THE PROSE. YES, LET ME CHECK THE PROSE, LEO. ACTUALLY, THERE IS SOMETHING IN CHAPTER 10. EDDIE SAYS THE ONLY WAY OUT IS TO FIND THE FALCON. SO ALL WE HAVE TO DO IS FIND THE FALCON? YEAH, BEFORE THE BOOK SPITS OUT 2 MORE CORPSES. OK, LET'S GO TALK TO THE PARENTS AND SEE IF THEY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BOOK. YOU BE CREATIVE AND JUST KEEP PAIGE AND BRODY ALIVE. OH, OK. RIGHT. NO PRESSURE (!) TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW ABOUT THE FALCON. I TOLD YOU, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING. NO? GEE, WHY DON'T I BELIEVE YOU? (SNYDER HITS KYLE) KYLE! YOU'RE NOT GOIN' ANYWHERE, SWEETHEART. NOW, UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO END UP WITH A BULLET IN HIS EAR... YOU'LL TELL US WHERE THE FALCON IS. UNDERSTAND? GET YOUR PAWS OFF OF ME. SO TELL ME, WHAT'S A CUTE, LITTLE PACKAGE LIKE YOU DOING MIXED UP WITH THAT NO-GOOD FED IN THERE? PHOEBE: "DROP DEAD, LANA SAID, IGNORING HIS ADVANCES. THEN THE DIRTY COP SAID..." FEMME FATALE. FLIRT WITH HIM, PAIGE, FLIRT WITH HIM. COME ON, SISTER, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO PLAY THE GAME? SISTER? OH... YOU'RE A LITTLE HEARTBREAKER, AREN'T YOU? A REGULAR FEMME FATALE. MAYBE I AM. MAYBE I'M NOT. MAYBE I'M JUST CRAZY, CRAZY FOR COPS, TOUGH COPS. THE KINDA COPS THAT'LL ARREST YOUR HEART, MAKE YOU LONG FOR A LIFE SENTENCE WITH 'EM. YOU KNOW ANY COPS LIKE THAT? WE CAN KEEP THIS UP ALL NIGHT IF YOU LIKE, OR YOU CAN TELL ME WHERE THE FALCON IS AND I'LL END IT BUT QUICK. IS THAT SUPPOSED TO BE A CHOICE? YEAH, EITHER YOU DIE FAST OR YOU BEG FOR DEATH, BUT EITHER WAY, I'M GETTING THE FALCON OUT OF YOU FIRST. KYLE! YOU ALL RIGHT? I'LL LIVE. HOW'D YOU GET IN HERE? WELL, I SEDUCED A COP, GRABBED HIS GUN, AND KNOCKED HIM OUT, ALL THANKS TO PHOEBE. PHOEBE? GETTING A LITTLE MAGICAL HELP FROM MY SISTERS. THAT'S THE WHOLE FLAT TYRE THING. THEY WERE WARNING US ABOUT THE TRAP. DOESN'T MATTER. YOU'RE RIGHT, EDDIE'S NOT AN INNOCENT. ACTUALLY, I THINK THAT YOU WERE RIGHT. I THINK THAT HE IS. COME ON, I'LL EXPLAIN ON THE WAY. WE GOTTA FIND HIM. PIPER: MRS. MULLEN, IF THIS IS TOO DIFFICULT... NO, NO, NO. I'M ALL RIGHT. I WANTED TO MEET HERE. I MISS COMING HERE. SO YOU SAID SOMETHING ABOUT ANOTHER SHOOTING? YES. WELL, YOU DON'T THINK EDDIE... NO, OF COURSE NOT. GOOD, BECAUSE HE DIDN'T KILL HIS BROTHER, EITHER, NO MATTER WHAT ANYBODY SAYS. HE'D NEVER DO THAT. HE LOVED DANNY. AND YOU HAVEN'T HEARD FROM EDDIE IN... IN OVER 20 YEARS. NO. BUT BELIEVE IT OR NOT, HIS FATHER AND I STILL HAVE HOPES THAT SOMEDAY, SOMEHOW, HE'LL COME BACK TO US. SOMETIMES, IT'S THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS US FROM FALLING APART. CRAZY, HUH? DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN? YEAH, WE HAVE 2 BOYS, TOO. OH. WELL, YOU TREASURE EVERY MOMENT TOGETHER, HMM? UM, WE WERE JUST WONDERING DID THE BOYS EVER MENTION WRITING A BOOK TOGETHER? WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING? UH, WE'RE NOT SURE YET. DO YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE BOOK? WELL, NOT MUCH. THEY NEVER LET US SEE ANYTHING. (LAUGHS) BUT I KNOW IT WAS DAN'S IDEA. YEAH, I--I KNOW. HE WANTED TO HELP EDDIE WITH IT. HELP HIM HOW? TO BELIEVE IN HIMSELF, TO FEEL CONFIDENT. TO BE A HERO? YES, PROBABLY. THEN HE HAS TO FINISH THE STORY, WHICH MEANS WE NEED TO HELP PAIGE HELP HIM. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I DON'T KNOW WHY WE'RE GOING TO GET EDDIE. HE'S BEYOND HOPE. BUT DIDN'T YOU HEAR HIM APOLOGIZE WHEN HE TURNED US IN? CRIMINALS DON'T SAY THEY'RE SORRY. YEAH, AND INNOCENTS DON'T TRY TO GET YOU KILLED. HEY! PAIGE, I KNOW THAT KID. I WAS THAT KID. LOOK, AFTER MY PARENTS DIED, I FELL IN WITH THE WRONG CROWD, TOO. I WAS SCARED, LOST. I THOUGHT I WAS TO BLAME FOR WHAT HAPPENED. I FELT THAT WAY, TOO, BUT I DIDN'T TRY TO HURT ANYBODY. I DID. RELATIVES, SOCIAL WORKERS, COPS. I'D DO ANYTHING TO PUSH THEM AWAY ALL BECAUSE I DIDN'T THINK THAT I WAS WORTHY OF BEING HELPED. MAYBE EDDIE FEELS THE SAME WAY. MAYBE, BUT I THINK HE CROSSED THE LINE. NOT NECESSARILY. SEE, I THINK JOHNNY THE GENT GOT HIM TO SET US UP. HE'S PLAYING EDDIE, BUT WHAT EDDIE DOESN'T KNOW IS THAT JOHNNY IS THE ONE THAT KILLED HIS BROTHER. I THOUGHT THE COPS KILLED HIM. NO. IT'S CLASSIC NOIR. THAT'S JUST A RED HERRING. IF THE COPS DID IT, THEY WOULD HAVE BEATEN EDDIE UNTIL HE TOLD THEM WHERE THE FALCON WAS, BUT THEY'RE STILL LOOKING FOR IT. SO THE GANGSTERS KILLED DAN? WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE? THEN MAYBE WE NEED TO END THE STORY BY COLLARING THE GANGSTERS. ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO. THEY'RE BACK THIS WAY. WELL, HOLD ON, WHAT ABOUT EDDIE? EDDIE'S THE HERO OF THE STORY, SO HE MUST KNOW WHERE THE FALCON IS. LEO: BUT HE BLAMES HIMSELF FOR WHAT HAPPENED TO HIS BROTHER. PAIGE HAS TO GET HIM TO SEE IT'S NOT HIS FAULT... SO HE HAS THE CONFIDENCE TO FINISH THE STORY. YOU GUYS ARE A GREAT TEAM. MATCH-MAKE LATER, SAVE SISTER NOW. YOU NEED TO GET PAIGE TO EDDIE. I CAN'T. SHE'S GOING AFTER THE GANGSTERS. WHAT? SHE'S GOING TO GET HERSELF KILLED. WELL, KYLE IS TRYING TO STOP HER, BUT SHE WON'T LISTEN TO HIM. WAIT, WHEN DID I TAKE HIS SIDE? PROBABLY AROUND THE TIME YOU STARTED CALLING HIM "KYLE." TRY AND BLOCK HER PATH. YOU WERE SAYING? THANKS, GUYS. COULD YOU BE ANY LESS SUBTLE? LOOKS LIKE YOUR SISTERS AGREE WITH ME. DON'T GLOAT. LET'S GO GET EDDIE. EDDIE... SORRY TO DISAPPOINT YOU. DROP IT. WHERE'S EDDIE? I SENT HIM OUT TO LOOK FOR THE TWO OF YOU. I HEARD YOU GOT AWAY FROM THE COPS. TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET AWAY FROM ME. KYLE! FORGET ABOUT HIM, SWEETHEART. HIS NUMBER'S UP. PLEASE, WE JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF HERE, THAT'S ALL, I SWEAR. HELP? WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT, UH, BUT IF I WANT TO GET THE FALCON OUT OF EDDIE, I CAN'T LEAVE ANY LOOSE ENDS HANGIN' ABOUT. NOW LISTEN, IN A COUPLE OF MINUTES, IT'S GONNA BE OVER FOR YOUR FRIEND OVER THERE, BUT YOU, YOU'RE A KNOCKOUT. PLEASE, DON'T MAKE ME WASTE A BULLET ON YOU. WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE? EDDIE, I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU SO SOON. THEY, UH, THEY CAME LOOKING TO GET EVEN, FOR YOU SETTIN' 'EM UP. THAT'S NOT TRUE. HE KILLED MY FRIEND IN COLD BLOOD, JUST LIKE HE KILLED YOUR BROTHER. WHA...WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? DON'T LISTEN TO HER, EDDIE. YOU KNOW THE COPS KILLED YOUR BROTHER. YOU KNOW THAT. THAT'S NOT TRUE. YOU DIDN'T SEE IT, DID YOU, EDDIE? IT'S JUST A STORY THAT JOHNNY'S BEEN TELLING YOU. DON'T YA SEE? HE'S BEEN PLAYING YOU. HE TRIED TO FORCE DAN INTO GIVING HIM THE FALCON, BUT HE WOULDN'T GIVE IT UP, SO NOW HE'S TRYING TO CHARM YOU OUT OF IT. THAT'S IT. (COCKS GUN) SAY GOOD NIGHT, GRACIE. (CLICK) WHAT THE HELL? THANK YOU. I COULD USE A FLASHBACK RIGHT NOW. FLASHBACK. SHE WANTS A FLASHBACK. WHY? TO PROVE JOHNNY KILLED EDDIE'S BROTHER. BUT WE DON'T KNOW THAT AND WE CAN'T MAKE IT UP. THE BOOK WON'T LET US. IT WILL IF IT'S TRUE. "THEN EDDIE FOUND OUT HOW DAN REALLY DIED. IT WAS AS IF IT WAS HAPPENING ALL OVER AGAIN." I KNOW YOU FOUND THE FALCON, DANNY. WHAT THE HELL? NOW YOU BETTER TELL ME WHERE IT IS IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. NO. YOU CAN'T KILL ME. I MADE YOU. NEVER MIND. I'LL GET IT FROM YOUR BROTHER ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. (GUNSHOTS) SUCKER. YOU'RE NOT GONNA BELIEVE THAT, ARE YA, KID? SOME KIND OF SMOKE AND MIRRORS TRICK. I-I-IT'S A PICTURE SHOW. BRODY: PAIGE... (COUGHS) SAVE YOUR INNOCENT... EDDIE, YOU HAVE TO STOP PUNISHING YOURSELF. THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. YOUR BROTHER WOULD NOT WANT YOU TO LIVE THIS WAY AS IF YOU WERE IN SOME KIND OF PRISON. HE WOULD HAVE WANTED YOU TO GROW UP, TO LIVE YOUR LIFE, TO BECOME PART OF THE REAL WORLD. (SIRENS) COPS. OK, THAT'S IT. YOU GIVE ME THE FALCON NOW OR I WILL BREAK HER NECK. DON'T. IT'S YOUR ONLY WAY OUT. I'LL DO IT! ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, DON'T HURT HER. I'LL GIVE IT TO YOU. THIS BETTER NOT BE A TRICK, KID. IT'S NOT. I SHOULD HAVE DONE THIS A LONG TIME AGO. WHERE DID YOU FIND IT? DOESN'T MATTER. ALL THAT MATTERS IS THAT NO ONE ELSE DIES BECAUSE OF IT. LET HER GO. GIVE IT TO ME. I GOTTA GO. YOU CAN'T. THIS ISN'T THE WAY THE STORY IS SUPPOSED TO END. TRUST ME. IT IS. GIVE IT TO ME. NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! WOW! WOW! OK, WE DID IT. WE DID IT. WE DID IT. LEO! I GOT HIM. HEY. YOU'RE IN COLOR. WE ALL ARE. SO WE HAVING FUN YET? HEY, WHERE ARE WE? THE STORY'S OVER. YOU'RE A HERO. YOUR BROTHER WOULD BE VERY PROUD OF YOU. WELL, WHAT DO I DO NOW? YOU GO HOME. YOUR PARENTS WILL BE THRILLED TO SEE YOU. THEY NEVER GAVE UP ON YOU. LEO: OR EACH OTHER. DON'T FORGET THIS. HEY, LOOK, WE'RE NOVELISTS. NAH, YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU KEEP IT. NOW THAT IT'S FINISHED NO ONE ELSE WILL GET SUCKED INSIDE IT. I ACTUALLY THINK IT BELONGS IN THE LIBRARY OF MAGIC SCHOOL. SPEAKING OF MAGIC SCHOOL, AFTER YOU DROP OFF EDDIE, WHY DON'T YOU PICK UP THE KIDS AND WE CAN HAVE A LATE DINNER, TALK? I'D LIKE THAT. SHH, SHH. I GUESS THIS IS IT, THEN. THANK YOU. STAY OUT OF TROUBLE, MAN, WILL YOU? BYE. YOU HUNGRY? STARVING. I THINK WE SHOULD GO, THEN. ALL RIGHT, THEN YOU ALL GO. SEE YA LATER. "LANA AND THE FED?" SOUNDS LIKE A THRILLER TO ME. MORE LIKE A ROMANCE NOVEL, WHETHER WE LIKE IT OR NOT. MM-HMM. REMEMBER OUR DEAL, RIGHT? I REMEMBER THERE BEING TALK OF A DEAL. SO I SUPPOSE THAT YOU'LL FIND TIME TO HELP ME WITH THE AVATARS? I SUPPOSE YOU'LL WANT TO LOOK AT THE BOOKS AT MAGIC SCHOOL. SUPPOSE I'M NOT THINKIN' ABOUT THOSE BOOKS RIGHT NOW? SUPPOSE I'M HOPING YOU'RE NOT THINKING OF THOSE BOOKS? I WONDER IF I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. I WONDER IF I... OH, SHUT UP AND KISS ME. CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --WWW.NCICAP.ORG-- Captions were made possible with funding from NZ On Air.