WHAT IF A DEMON ATTACKS WHILE I'M OUT? LEO: THEY'RE NOT GOING TO ATTACK, ALL RIGHT? THEY THINK YOU'RE DEAD. NO, I DON'T MEAN HERE, I MEAN ANYWHERE, IN GENERAL. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, LIKE ANYWHERE AROUND THE CITY? YEAH. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, JUST IGNORE IT? I SHOULD'VE GONE TALLER. I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE TALLER. ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME? YES. JUST IGNORE IT. WHY'D YOU GO BLONDE? I DON'T KNOW. I DIDN'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME TO THINK ABOUT IT. BESIDES, I KIND OF LIKE IT. LEO, THE JINGLING IS BACK. CAN YOU HELP ME GET RID OF IT? JUST IGNORE IT. THAT'S HIS ADVICE FOR THE DAY. EXCUSE ME. I CAN'T IGNORE IT. IT'S RELENTLESS. WHAT DOES THAT LITTLE WITCH WANT ANYWAY? I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW SHE'S CALLING YOU. YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES NEW CHARGES DON'T. SOMETIMES IT'S JUST SUBLIMINAL. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY LIFE BACK, THEN? YOUR LIFE? WHAT ABOUT MY LIFE? - WHAT ABOUT IT? - EXCUSE ME. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO MARRY A GUY I JUST MET IN AN ELEVATOR? EXCUSE ME, BUT I WAS OBSESSING FIRST. NO, NO, NO. EXCUSE ME. OUT OF MY WAY. NO, ACTUALLY I WAS. I THINK MARRYING A COMPLETE STRANGER WINS. I MEAN, HE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHO I REALLY AM. OK, BUT HE'S A REALLY, REALLY CUTE STRANGER. AND, YOU KNOW WHAT, GUYS, DO YOU MIND? AT LEAST HE'S NOT DRIVING YOU CRAZY. MAYBE YOU SHOULD TRY MEDITATING. I JUST GOT MY LIFE BACK. I DON'T WANT TO GET HITCHED YET. THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING HITCHED. NOW, GUYS, REALLY, OK? BACK TO MY LIFE. MAYBE I SHOULD GO TO MAGIC SCHOOL TO GET RID OF IT. I MEAN, HE IS CUTE AND ALL. BUT THEN AGAIN, YOU KNOW, I COULD RISK EXPOSURE. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE DOES. (WHISTLES) FAMILY MEETING NOW. IF SHE DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO MAGIC SCHOOL, ALL SHE HAD TO DO WAS TELL ME. YOU'RE IN TROUBLE. WHAT TO DO? IT'S ABANDONED. NO ONE'S HERE. ALTHOUGH THEY COULD STILL BE INVISIBLE. THIS IS MAGIC SCHOOL AFTER ALL. NO. THE MAGIC HERE IS ALL OURS NOW. ARE YOU SURE? HAH! HYAH! HAH! POSITIVE. OK, PEOPLE, WE GOT TO GET A GRIP HERE. OTHERWISE, WHAT ARE WE DOING? WE MIGHT AS WELL JUST GO BACK TO FIGHTING DEMONS AGAIN. EVEN IF THEY THINK WE'RE DEAD? IT WAS A RHETORICAL QUESTION. NO, IT WASN'T. PAIGE! WHAT? LOOK, I THINK THE POINT IS THAT WE NEED TO TAKE IT SLOW, YOU KNOW, BE PATIENT. YEAH, WELL, TELL THAT TO MY PREMONITION. AND MY STUPID CHARGE. (WHISTLES) OHH. UHH. DON'T EVEN START. YOU KNOW, YOU'RE GONNA BE LATE. LATE FOR WHAT? MY SPA DAY. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING A FACIAL AND A MASSAGE AND A SEAWEED WRAPPING THING. I'M SO JEALOUS. WELL, IT WAS PHOEBE'S IDEA. WE WERE WATCHING 'SEX AND THE CITY' AND... SPEAKING OF WHICH, DID CARRIE EVER HAVE TO MARRY A MAN THAT SHE DID NOT KNOW? CARRIE? DON'T ASK. THEY'RE ON 'SEX AND THE CITY' AGAIN. YEAH. NO. THE ANSWER IS NO. SHE DID NOT. WHY CAN'T WE LIVE OUR LIVES LIKE THEY DID? UH, DIDN'T ONE OF THEM SLEEP AROUND A LOT? NO. SHE WAS A FREE SPIRIT, WHICH, BY THE WAY, CAN ONLY HAPPEN WHEN YOU'RE FREE. (WHISTLES) GOD, IS THAT REALLY NECESSARY? APPARENTLY. LOOK. OK. NOBODY SAID THIS WAS GONNA BE EASY. WE NEED TO GET A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE HERE. HOW BAD CAN THINGS BE WHEN WE DON'T HAVE DEMONS TO WORRY ABOUT ANYMORE? THANK YOU. LOOK. YOU, YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON SOMETHING ELSE. YOU GOT TO GET THAT CHARGE OFF YOUR MIND. WELL, PEOPLE, I AM OPEN TO SUGGESTIONS. DO WHAT GRAM SAID. GET OUT THERE. IGNORE THE SIGNS OF YOUR OLD LIFE AND LOOK FOR SIGNS THAT LEAD YOU TO YOUR NEW LIFE. TRY ANYTHING. AND YOU, YOU'RE ALL ABOUT SIGNS. SO, ISN'T THAT EXACTLY WHAT A VISION IS ANYWAY? YEAH, BUT-- DON'T MAKE ME WHISTLE. LAST YEAR YOU HAD A PREMONITION THAT YOU WERE GONNA HAVE A DAUGHTER, WHICH MEANS THEN THIS YEAR YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO HAVE A LITTLE SEX AND GET PREGNANT. AND SINCE DEX, WHICH COINCIDENTALLY RHYMES WITH SEX, COULD BE THE FATHER... GOD. LOOK. I SUGGEST YOU GET TO KNOW HIM... WELL AND FAST. BECAUSE THIS MAY BE THE ONE SIGN YOU CAN'T IGNORE. ALL RIGHT? EVERYBODY GOOD? PEOPLE? GREAT. SEE YOU LATER. (THINKING) MAYBE PIPER'S RIGHT. I MEAN, IF THERE'S ONE THING WE'VE LEARNED, IT'S THAT WE'RE BEING GUIDED... AND SIGNS ALWAYS LEAD THE WAY. THE QUESTION IS, WHERE DO YOU START LOOKING FOR THEM? START WITH DEX. SEE IF YOU EVEN LIKE HIM. ISN'T THE FACT THAT WE COULD TAKE THIS PLACE OVER PROOF ENOUGH THAT THE CHARMED ONES ARE REALLY DEAD? UNLESS THEY'RE IN HIDING. THEY WOULD NOT LEAVE MAGIC SCHOOL UNPROTECTED, OR LEAVE ITS POWERS FOR US TO TAKE. PERHAPS NOT, BUT THEN AGAIN, THAT'S THE MYSTERY WE'RE TRYING TO SOLVE. ISN'T IT? SPEAKING OF WHICH, ANY PROGRESS ON THAT FRONT? WE'VE LURED 3 TEENAGERS SO FAR, TURNED THEM ALL, AND YET NO SIGN OF THE WITCHES. THEY WON'T BE ABLE TO IGNORE THE CRIES FOR LONG. IF THE SISTERS ARE ALIVE, THEY WILL COME TO THE RESCUE. IT'S IN THEIR BLOOD. UNLESS YOUR PLAN IS TOO OBSCURE FOR THEM TO NOTICE. MAYBE YOU GIVE THEM TOO MUCH CREDIT. DEMONS HAVE USED MORTAL FAIRY TALES TO TRAP THEM BEFORE. IT'S IN THE TEXTBOOKS-- HOW CINDERELLA NEARLY TURNED THE CHARMED ONES INTO PUMPKINS. HUMANS ARE RAISED ON THESE INSIDIOUS TALES. THEY TAP INTO UNIVERSAL THEMES, COMMON EMOTIONS, FEARS. THAT'S WHY WE CAN LURE THE VICTIMS SO EASILY. DON'T WORRY. SOONER OR LATER, THE CHARMED ONES WILL FOLLOW, AND WHEN THEY DO, WE WILL HAVE THEM. BUT WHAT IF THEY DON'T TAKE THE BAIT? WHAT IF THEY LIVE NO MORE? WELL, THEN WE MESS UP A FEW KIDS. AND THAT'S FUN ALL BY ITSELF, ISN'T IT? TIME TO FIND OUR NEXT ALICE. PHOEBE: SIGNS, OF COURSE, CAN BE GOOD OR BAD. BUT THEY SHOULD NEVER BE IGNORED. I'M TELLING YOU, SOMETHING REALLY WEIRD'S GOING ON. I MEAN, COME ON, WHY AREN'T THE COPS DOING SOMETHING ABOUT THIS? IT'S TOTALLY WHACKED. I DON'T KNOW. THEY PROBABLY THINK IT'S JUST DRUGS OR SOMETHING. IT'S NOT DRUGS. NO WAY. THIS IS SOMETHING WAY MORE SCARY, BUT THEY JUST DON'T CARE. NOBODY CARES. WE'RE TEENAGERS. NO, THAT GIRL ALLYSON JUST TURNED 20. WHO'S ALLYSON? ALLYSON. THE SORORITY CHICK THAT WENT MISSING, THEN WAS LATER FOUND WALKING AROUND LIKE HER HARD DRIVE HAD JUST BEEN ERASED. HER HARD DRIVE? THIS ISN'T FUNNY, BILLIE. THIS IS SERIOUS. SOME CREEP'S OUT THERE PREYING ON KIDS LIKE US, AND NOBODY'S DOING JACK ABOUT IT. DON'T YOU EVEN CARE? ACTUALLY, WHAT I CARE ABOUT RIGHT NOW IS NOT BEING LATE FOR METAPHYSICS, WHICH I'M FAILING. UNBELIEVABLE. WHATEVER. ALL I GOT TO SAY IS THAT SOMEBODY BETTER DO SOMETHING BEFORE ANYONE ELSE GETS HURT. PHOEBE: SIGNS DON'T ALWAYS MEAN WHAT WE THINK THEY DO. THEY CAN, AFTER ALL, BE CONFUSING, ESPECIALLY IN TODAY'S WORLD WHERE WE'RE CONSTANTLY BOMBARDED BY THEM. STILL IT'S UP TO US TO INTERPRET THEM THE BEST WAY WE KNOW HOW. IT'S CALLED SURVIVAL. YOU GOIN' UP? YEAH. BUT... NOT RIGHT NOW. IT'S OK. GO AHEAD. PHOEBE: UNFORTUNATELY, WAITING FOR JUST THE RIGHT SIGN TO COME ALONG CAN BE FRUSTRATING, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU'RE IN A HURRY TO CONCEIVE... WHICH IS WHY SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO... HI. HI. HELP MAKE THE SIGNS COME TO YOU. UH, IT'S, UH, DEX. RIGHT? YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. AND...YOU'RE... JULIE? YOU REMEMBERED. HOW COULD I FORGET? ON THE OTHER HAND, SOME SIGNS COME TO YOU EVEN WHEN YOU WISH THEY WOULDN'T. GREAT. JUST GREAT. LICENCE AND REGISTRATION, PLEASE? WHAT DID I DO? YOU ROLLED THROUGH A STOP SIGN. YOU FROM L.A.? YEAH. YEAH. UM... MY COUSINS DIED, SO I JUST CAME UP HERE TO HELP OUT. WOW. SORRY. WELL...YEAH. IT'S A LITTLE HARDER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, YOU KNOW, ADJUSTING TO A NEW CITY...AND ALL. WHAT'D YOU DO BEFORE? YOU COULD SAY I HELPED PEOPLE. YEAH? MAYBE YOU SHOULD BECOME A COP. (CHUCKLES) (POLICE RADIO SIGNALS) RADIO: ALL AVAILABLE UNITS, CODE 2. ASSIST SUSPECT SEARCH. 920 IN PORTERO DISTRICT. OVER. UNIT A-10. ROGER THAT. E.T.A. 5 MINUTES. OVER. WHAT'S A 920? MISSING PERSON FOUND. PROBABLY ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE KIDS. LOOKS LIKE IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY. CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION? MAKE IT FAST. WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT YOUR JOB? CATCHIN' THE BAD GUYS. HUH. I THOUGHT YOU SAID WE WERE GOIN' TO A GARDEN PARTY OF SOMETHIN'. WE ARE, ALASTAIR. WE ARE. YEAH? YOU...SURE THIS IS THE WAY? YOU DON'T WANT TO BE LATE, DO YOU? WELL, NO, BUT-- BECAUSE...WE'RE VERY, VERY LATE. LATE FOR WHAT? LOOK, MAYBE THIS WASN'T SUCH A GOOD IDEA. OK? I MEAN, I REALLY DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. PROMISED YOU AN ADVENTURE, DIDN'T I? IT'S DOWN THERE. WHAT'S DOWN THERE? SEE FOR YOURSELF. COME ON. AREN'T YOU THE LEAST BIT CURIOUS? (FOOTSTEPS) (SIGHS) RATS. HELP! ANYBODY! WHERE AM I? YOU'RE DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE. ALASTAIR IN WONDERLAND. CLOSE ENOUGH. THIS ONE I GOT THE INSPIRATION FOR A FEW YEARS AGO WHILE I WAS, UH, FLYING OVER AFRICA. I WAS LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW, YOU KNOW, PAINFULLY AWARE OF THE STRUGGLES BELOW ME, AND YET I WAS UP IN THE CLOUDS FEELING AT PEACE. IT'S, UH, SUPPOSED TO REMIND US OF THE DELICATE BALANCE BETWEEN, YOU KNOW, LIFE-- GOOD, EVIL... AGONY, ECSTASY. ALL THAT. ALL MY WORK IS... UH, YOU KNOW, LIFE'S PRECIOUS. IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE ENJOYED IN THE MOMENT. AFTER ALL, THAT'S ALL WE REALLY HAVE, ISN'T IT? HMM. I TEND TO LIVE TOO MUCH IN THE FUTURE. (CHUCKLES) I CAN'T HELP IT, THOUGH. IT'S IN MY BLOOD. ANYWAY, IT'S-- IT'S GREAT. I MEAN, IT'S ALL GREAT. THANK YOU. EVERYTHING IS GREAT. (LAUGHS) AND HERE I THOUGHT ALL THIS TIME YOU WERE A LAWYER OR SOMETHING. BUT I THOUGHT YOU JUST GOT TO TOWN AFTER PHOEBE DIED. OH, YEAH. YOU KNOW. I--I DID. IT'S...JUST THAT'S WHAT PHOEBE...SAID. UH, THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID THAT YOU DID. YOU KNOW... (TAKES DEEP BREATH) IT'S ALL VERY SAD. I'M SURE IT MUST BE HARD. BUT LIFE GOES ON. RIGHT? ISN'T THAT THE LESSON IN ALL OF THIS? WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT LESSON, BUT, UH-- NO, REALLY. IT'S ONE I CAN STAND TO LEARN. I'VE ACTUALLY OFTEN SAID THAT THE WORST PART OF MODERN TECHNOLOGY IS...THE WAY IT ROBS YOU OF THE FOUND MOMENTS... YOU KNOW, THOSE LITTLE DISCOVERIES... EVEN INTIMACY. WHAT? I WAS JUST THINKING THAT...THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT PHOEBE ONCE SAID. REALLY? THAT'S...ODD. I--I MEAN WROTE, UH, IN HER ADVICE COLUMN. THAT WAS, LIKE, VERBATIM. WELL. I DON'T KNOW. IT MUST RUN IN THE FAMILY, HUH? (CHUCKLING) YEAH, IT MUST. YOU REALLY READ HER COLUMN, DIDN'T YOU? WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO GET A CUP OF COFFEE? (THINKING) IT'S NOT DINNER... OR LUNCH, EVEN. BUT IT'S NOT BAD. I'D LOVE TO. PHOEBE: WHEN YOU'RE IN A HURRY, YOU CAN'T BE TOO PICKY ABOUT THE SIGNS. AS LONG AS IT CAUSES A FEW SPARKS, WHAT MORE CAN YOU ASK FOR? UNFORTUNATELY, NOT EVERY SPARK IS A POSITIVE ONE. MAN: UH-OH. PIPER: UH-OH. WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "UH-OH"? IS THAT BAD? UH, I THINK YOUR TRANSFORMER'S SHOT. WELL, OK. FIX IT. WELL, I CAN'T. YOU NEED A NEW ONE. WELL, CAN YOU GO GET A NEW ONE AND REPLACE IT? WELL, IT HAS TO BE ORDERED. COULD TAKE COUPLE OF DAYS. A COUPLE OF DAYS? I DON'T HAVE A COUPLE OF DAYS. THIS IS A NIGHT CLUB. WE'VE GOT MUSIC AND LIGHTS AND CREDIT CARD MACHINES. I NEED ELECTRICITY. WISH I COULD HELP YOU. BUT, UH... I COULDN'T EVEN GET AN INSPECTOR OUT HERE BEFORE TOMORROW ANYWAY. AN INSPECTOR? WHAT INSPECTOR? FOR WHAT? WELL, IT HAS TO BE DONE TO CODE. (SIGHS) YOU WANT TO WAIT HERE WHILE I GIVE HIM A CALL? NO, I DON'T WANT TO WAIT HERE. I'M NOT EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE HERE. I'M SUPPOSED TO BE GETTING A MANICURE AND A PEDICURE AND A FACIAL AND SOMETHIN' ELSE! (SIGHS) YOU DON'T REALLY CARE, DO YOU? I'M JUST AN ELECTRICIAN, MA'AM. (SIGHS) ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT? "BUD"...IS IT? I DON'T REALLY CARE. OK? DO WHATEVER IT TAKES. GET SOME SOLAR PANELS, RENT A GENERATOR, WHATEVER. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I NEED TO HAVE A LITTLE ITTY BIT OF LIFE. OK? JUST A LITTLE TEENY TINY TEENY LIFE! IS THAT OK WITH YOU?! AHEM! SORRY. SIGN, PLEASE? YEAH. PIPER: OF COURSE, IN THE COSMIC SCHEME OF THINGS, SIGNS TEND TO BALANCE EACH OTHER OUT. GOT ENOUGH LIGHT? FOR INSTANCE, WHEN ONE SAYS "CLOSED"... ANOTHER SAYS "COME ON IN." CAN I HELP YOU? OH! UH, HI. I'M JUST CHECKING STUFF OUT FOR A FRIEND. OH. DOES HE WANT TO BECOME A POLICE OFFICER? SHE, ACTUALLY, AND I THINK SHE'S EXPLORING HER OPTIONS. I SEE. WELL, SHE COULDN'T HAVE PICKED A MORE NOBLE PROFESSION. DOES SHE HAVE ANY BACKGROUND IN LAW ENFORCEMENT? UNOFFICIALLY. SHE WAS A SOCIAL WORKER, AND, UM, SHE'D MADE AN AWFUL LOT OF CITIZEN'S ARRESTS. WELL, YEAH. IT'S ONE THING TO CARRY A PEN, QUITE ANOTHER TO CARRY A GUN. HAVE YOU EVER FIRED A GUN? ME? NO. I MEAN, BUT THIS IS ABOUT MY-- YOUR FRIEND, YEAH. UH, LOOK, DON'T TAKE THIS WRONG WAY, OK? BUT I CAN TELL BY LOOKING AT YOU YOU DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES. EXCUSE ME? WE'RE LOOKING FOR SERIOUS, COMMITTED-MINDED YOUNG PEOPLE, AND I'M THE GUY THAT HAS TO WEED OUT THE CRAZIES, THE NAZIS, AND THE ATTRACTIVE DIVORCEES WHO MIGHT OTHERWISE WASTE THE TAX PAYERS' HARD-EARNED MONEY. YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO. WELL, DON'T TAKE OFFENCE, MA'AM. THE FACT IS WE ONLY TAKE THE VERY BEST OF THE BEST, AND THAT DOES NOT CURRENTLY INCLUDE ANYONE WORRIED ABOUT BREAKING A NAIL. YOU KNOW WHAT? HOW DARE YOU PREJUDGE ME? YOU DON'T KNOW THE FIRST THING ABOUT ME. FOR ALL YOU KNOW, I COULD'VE SAVED THE WORLD LIKE A HUNDRED TIMES OVER. OF COURSE, YES. UH, GOOD DAY. NO, YOU KNOW WHAT? I KNOW YOU DON'T THINK I CAN DO THIS, MR. 6-FOOT-4-BIG-GUY, BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. I'LL BET I COULD TAKE YOU. SURE YOU COULD, LADY, SURE. LET ME TRY. DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR. LEAVE NOW. LOOK. I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS CRAP. HYAH! HUH. APPLICATION'S ON THE DESK. ALEXIS: BUNNY! HERE, BUNNY, BUNNY! HERE, BUNNY, BUNNY! OH, BUNNY, DON'T BE AFRAID. BUNNY, I WON'T HURT YOU. OH, MY GOD. SORRY, ALEXIS. TRY AGAIN. YOU READY FOR A WILD RIDE? AAH! DID YOU HEAR? THEY FOUND ANOTHER ONE. A BOY THIS TIME. ALASTAIR I THINK HIS NAME WAS. ANOTHER "A" NAME. I'M TELLING YOU, IT'S JUST LIKE THAT AGATHA CHRISTIE NOVEL, THE ALPHABET MURDERS. REMEMBER THAT? I MEAN I KNOW IT'S NOT MURDERS IN THIS CASE, BUT IT MIGHT AS WELL BE. I MEAN THOSE KIDS ARE COMING BACK LIKE ZOMBIES OR SOMETHING. VEGETABLES. GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT THAT SICK PERVERT'S DOING TO THOSE POOR KIDS. (CELL PHONE RINGS) UH, I'M SORRY. NO CELL PHONES. SORRY. DIDN'T MEAN TO DISTURB YOU. HELLO? WHAT? LEO, YOU LOCKED YOURSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE? WITH WYATT? OH, COME ON! ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT? FINE. I'M ON MY WAY. I AM ON MY WAY! WELCOME, CADETS. YOU'VE CHOSEN TO BECOME ONE OF THE FEW AND THE PROUD, A SAN FRANCISCO CITY POLICE OFFICER. OVER THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS, HOWEVER, YOU WILL BE SCREENED FOR POTENTIALLY DISQUALIFYING BEHAVIOUR. YOU WILL BE ASKED TO CRITICALLY ANALYZE A SITUATION AND DETERMINE AN APPROPRIATE COURSE OF ACTION. YOU WILL BE EXPECTED TO ACT ASSERTIVELY AND WITHOUT HESITATION, BUT WITHOUT OVERREACTING. AND YOU WILL BE TESTED TO SEE IF YOU CAN MAKE QUICK, RESPONSIBLE DECISIONS UNDER PRESSURE. AM I MAKING MYSELF CLEAR? PERFECTLY. WHAT'S YOUR NAME, CADET? JO. BENNET. I'M GONNA KEEP AN EYE ON YOU, BENNET. MAKING POOR CHOICES AND FAILURE TO EXHIBIT SOUND JUDGMENT IN A CRISIS SITUATION ARE ALL NEGATIVE ATTRIBUTES THAT CAN AND WILL DISQUALIFY YOU FROM THIS ACADEMY. PHOEBE: SOMETIMES SIGNS ARE SO OBVIOUS ONLY A FOOL COULD MISS THEM, AND PAIGE IS NO FOOL. UNH! OOH! OH. HI. YOU ALL RIGHT? NO. YEAH. HORRIBLE MIGRAINE. I'M SORRY. I'M GONNA HAVE TO GO. IT'S NOT EASY STARTING NEW LIVES, FOLLOWING NEW SIGNS, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE OLD ONES KEEP GETTING IN THE WAY. UNH! AW, NO FAIR. YOU MOVED! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, KILL ME? YOU AGAIN? LOOK WHAT YOU DID! I HAD HER. THEN WHY DID YOU CALL FOR ME...AGAIN? UM, I DIDN'T CALL YOU. I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU. THEN MAYBE YOUR INNER WITCH DOES BECAUSE...SADLY... I'M YOUR WHITELIGHTER. WHATEVER THAT MEANS. HEY, LET GO OF ME! I CAN'T. NOT UNTIL I HELP YOU. I DON'T NEED ANYBODY'S HELP. WELL, YOU NEED MY HELP WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. ARE YOU A COP? NO. GOOD. HYAH! UNH! OH! HYAH! UNH! YOU'RE A BLONDE? SEE YA. HELP. SOMEBODY JUST TRIED TO KIDNAP ME. PHOEBE: THERE YOU ARE! I GOT YOU YOUR COFFEE DRINK. VANILLA NON-FAT LATTE, NO WHIPPED CREAM, RIGHT? AM I THAT PREDICTABLE? WELL, EVERYBODY IS WHEN IT COMES TO THEIR COFFEE DRINK. HEH! OHH. OH, I TAKE IT IT WENT WELL WITH DEX. OH, YES, IT DID. I MEAN, I'M NOT READY TO MARRY THE GUY OBVIOUSLY YET, BUT, YOU KNOW, I COULD DO WORSE. ACTUALLY, YOU KNOW, I'VE DONE WORSE BEFORE. YEAH, WELL, YOU MAYBE WANT TO TAKE IT A LITTLE BIT SLOW DESPITE YOUR PREMONITION. DO YOU KNOW WHERE PIPER IS? I GOT HER A CARAMEL MACCHIATO. NO, I DON'T. I JUST GOT HOME. PAIGE, ARE YOU SCRYING? YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE SCRYING. WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO YELL AT MY CHARGE, OK? BECAUSE SHE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE. SO YOU SCALPED HER? NO, I DID NOT. I WAS OUT AND ABOUT WHEN SHE CALLED, AND I FOUND HER FIGHTING A DEMON. ANOTHER ONE? MM-HMM. HOW'D SHE DO? NOT AS GOOD AS SHE THOUGHT SHE DID. BUT AT LEAST SHE SAVED AN INNOCENT. AN INNOCENT? WHAT INNOCENT? ONE OF THOSE MISSING TEENS. AT LEAST SHE GOT TO HER BEFORE IT WAS TOO LATE. I THINK IF I CAN FIND THAT LITTLE WITCH, I CAN FINALLY BE DONE WITH ALL OF THIS STUFF. BY VANQUISHING THE DEMON? IT'S THE GENERAL IDEA. I DON'T WANT TO BE DOING THIS, YOU KNOW. PAIGE, IT'S COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE THAT YOU MISS YOUR OLD LIFE SO MUCH THAT-- I DON'T. MAYBE A TINY, TINY LITTLE BIT, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO MAKE ME GO BACK. DEFINITELY NOT. THIS IS JUST SOMETHING I HAVE TO DO. OK. THEN I'LL HELP YOU. NO, NO, NO. I THINK THE MORE OF US THAT ARE INVOLVED, THE MORE WE RISK EXPOSURE. I'M GONNA BE OK. OK. OH, OH, OH! HEY, THE PAPER CALLED FOR YOU. REALLY? WHAT DID THEY WANT? WELL, I THINK THEY WANT TO TALK TO YOU, OR COUSIN YOU OBVIOUSLY. I WONDER WHAT THEY WANTED. WELL, I THINK THEY JUST WANT SOME QUOTES FROM YOU. YOU KNOW, THE "ASK PHOEBE" TRIBUTE AND ALL. I DON'T THINK THEY'LL FIGURE ANYTHING OUT. I THINK YOU'LL BE OK. ON THE BRIGHT SIDE, YOU'LL GET TO SEE DEX AGAIN. (KISSING) PHOEBE: SIGNS CAN COME AT ANY TIME AND FROM ANYWHERE, BUT WHEN YOU GET ONE, YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO FOLLOW IT, EVEN IF IT LEADS YOU RIGHT INTO DANGER. HEH! HOW COULD YOU LET HER GET AWAY? EVERY INNOCENT COUNTS, ESPECIALLY WITH WHO WE'RE ULTIMATELY TRYING TO LURE. I DIDN'T LET HER GET AWAY. A WITCH-- IF YOU CAN'T HANDLE ONE LOUSY WITCH-- IT WASN'T JUST ONE! WHAT DO YOU MEAN? I MEAN SOMEBODY ELSE CAME TO HELP. ANOTHER WITCH? NO. A WHITELIGHTER. PROBABLY HERS. WASN'T ONE OF THE CHARMED ONES A WHITELIGHTER? HALF. WHY? BECAUSE MAYBE IT WASN'T JUST A WHITELIGHTER WHO CAME TO HELP. MAYBE IT WAS REALLY HER SISTER. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE. NEITHER OF THEM LOOKED ANYTHING LIKE-- THEY WOULDN'T. THEY'D BE IN DISGUISES. MAGICAL DISGUISES. PERHAPS WE'RE CLOSER THAN WE THINK. WHAT IF WE ARE? HOW COULD WE KILL THEM WHEN NO OTHER DEMON COULD? WE DON'T TRY. WE CAN'T. BUT WHAT WE CAN DO IS TAKE THEM ON THE SAME WILD RIDE AS THE OTHERS WITH THE SAME INEVITABLE RESULT. PIPER: I GIVE UP! IT'S NO USE. I QUIT. QUIT? QUIT WHAT? WHAT'S THE MATTER? EVERYTHING! I CAN'T HAVE A NORMAL LIFE WHEN I CAN'T EVEN HAVE A NORMAL DAY! NOT NOW, LEO! I'M NOT IN THE MOOD! OH, COME ON. LIKE THAT'S WHAT I WANT. COME ON, JUST TALK TO ME, OK? WHAT IS IT? NOTHING. IT'S JUST--IT'S NOT WHAT I EXPECTED, THAT'S ALL. AND EVERY TIME I TRY TO DO SOMETHING FOR MYSELF, SOMETHING COMES ALONG TO MESS IT UP. AND ASIDE FROM ALL THE DEMON FIGHTING, IT'S NOT THAT MUCH DIFFERENT THAN IT USED TO BE. LOOK, I'M SORRY I LOCKED MYSELF OUT OF THE HOUSE. OK? NO, IT'S NOT THAT. THAT'S NOT THE POINT. JUST--YOU KNOW WHAT? FORGET IT. (SIGHS) LOOK, THIS ALL JUST HAPPENED, OK? YOU'RE STARTING OVER. YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT. OK, TRUST ME. IT'S GONNA TAKE SOME TIME. TIME? HOW MUCH MORE TIME? I JUST LOST ALL MY TWENTIES. HOW MUCH MORE TIME DO YOU WANT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN? (SIGHS) I MEAN IT JUST... FEELS LIKE I JUST WOKE UP AND I MISPLACED A HUGE CHUNK OF MY LIFE. I MEAN IT WENT BY SO FAST. 7 YEARS AGO, I WAS FRESH OUT OF COLLEGE, I WAS SINGLE, I WAS COOKING, I WAS TRYING TO BECOME A CHEF, AND THEN--BOOM! SUDDENLY, "HELLO! HI! YOU'RE A WITCH. AND BY THE WAY, SO IS YOUR WHOLE FAMILY," AND WE'RE SAVING INNOCENTS, THEN I'M SOMEBODY'S WIFE, AND THEN I'M SOMEBODY'S MOTHER AND I'M SOMEBODY'S BOSS AND I'M SOMEBODY'S SOMETHING. AND I JUST-- I DON'T KNOW HOW TO START OVER. I'VE BEEN SO MANY THINGS FOR SO LONG I DON'T KNOW WHO I AM ANYMORE. WELL, I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YOU'RE AN AMAZING MOM, AND YOU'RE AN AMAZING WIFE, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, AN AMAZING PERSON. STOP. NO. YOU ARE. BUT YOU CAN'T SACRIFICE YOURSELF FOR SO MANY PEOPLE AND FOR SO MANY YEARS AND NOT EXPECT A TRANSITIONAL PERIOD. YOU HAVE TO BE PATIENT. AND WHAT I DO ABOUT THE GUILT? WHAT GUILT? THE GUILT I FEEL WHEN I KNOW VERY BAD THINGS ARE HAPPENING OUT THERE, AND I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT. LIKE THOSE MISSING KIDS. WELL, BAD THINGS ARE ALWAYS GONNA HAPPEN, PIPER. YOU KNOW, THEY HAPPENED LONG BEFORE YOU BECAME A WITCH AND THEY'RE GONNA CONTINUE TO HAPPEN LONG AFTERWARDS. BUT YOU'VE PAID YOUR DUES. YOU'VE BEEN SELFLESS. NOW IT'S TIME TO BE SELFISH. YOU DESERVE IT. WE ALL DO. WE'VE GOTTA STOP MEETING LIKE THIS. YEAH? WHO SAYS? PHOEBE: SOMETIMES SIGNS ARE SUBTLE, EASILY MISSED, BUT IF YOU'RE LUCKY ENOUGH TO CATCH THEM, THEY TEND TO SEND YOU IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. ON THE OTHER HAND, IF YOU MISS THEM, THEY CAN BITE YOU IN THE ASS BIG TIME. DROP SOMETHING? (SIGHS) NICE COSTUME. WHERE'D YOU GET IT? SAKS. YOU LIKE IT? NO. WITCHES DON'T ACTUALLY WEAR COSTUMES. OH, REALLY? THE CONICAL HAT, THE BROOMSTICK. THAT'S JUST EVERYDAY WEAR? I MEANT RECENTLY. WELL, YOU SHOULD BE MORE SPECIFIC. I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER THAT FOR NEXT TIME. THANKS FOR THE TIP! WHAT'S YOUR NAME ANYWAY? WHAT'S YOURS? JO. BILLIE. WELL, BILLIE, SEEMS AS IF WE HAVE A BIT OF A PROBLEM HERE. OH, YEAH? YOU KNOW, ACTUALLY, MY PROBLEM IS IS THAT YOU'RE JUST KILLING MY BUZZ. HEH! BUZZ? THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE CALLING FIGHTING DEMONS? BEATS THE HELL OUT OF VIDEO GAMES. THIS ISN'T A GAME, OK? THIS IS REAL. DEADLY REAL. YOU CAN'T USE AN ADVERB WITH A NOUN. CHAIR! OH! OK, HERE'S THE THING. PEOPLE ARE GETTING KILLED, SO YOU ARE GONNA TELL ME EVERYTHING I WANT TO KNOW, AND YOU'RE GONNA TELL IT TO ME NOW, OTHERWISE WE'RE GONNA GO AT IT AGAIN. FINE. I'M LISTENING. HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN A WITCH? NOT LONG. JUST UP TILL REALLY RECENTLY, I NOTICED I HAD THESE POWERS. SO I BOUGHT A COUPLE OF BOOKS AND I FIGURED IT OUT. AND YOU FIGURED OUT HOW TO TRACK DEMONS THAT WAY? I'M GOOD. HEH! WELL, I AM. LOOK, LET ME-- MAY I? OK, WELL, FIRST, I NOTICED THAT ALL THE MISSING KIDS HAD ALICE-LIKE NAMES. YOU KNOW, LIKE ALICIA, ALLISON, ALASTAIR, ALEX-- THIS HAS TO DO WITH WHAT? ALICE? YOU KNOW, LIKE ALICE IN WONDERLAND. OK, WHEN THE VICTIMS WERE FOUND, THEY WERE SAYING ALL THESE WEIRD THINGS, LIKE MAD HATTERS, WHITE RABBITS, STONE CATERPILLARS. HAD TO BE SOMETHING DEMONIC, RIGHT? IT WAS JUST TOO COOL NOT TO BE. UM, NO. ACTUALLY DEMONIC ISN'T SO COOL. IT'S KIND OF A BAD THING. OK, WHATEVER. ANYWAYS, I INPUTTED IT ALL INTO THE COMPUTER, I HOOKED THE CRYSTAL UP TO THE GPS SYSTEM, I STARTED SCRYING FOR THE DEMON, AND VOILA! THERE HE WAS! OR THERE SHE WAS. ARE MOST DEMONS CHICKS? UH, NO, NO, NOT ALWAYS. UH, YOU FIGURED THIS ALL OUT BY YOURSELF? YEAH. OK, IN THAT CASE, I'M GONNA NEED YOU TO STAY PUT WHILE I GO DEAL WITH THIS. WAIT? WHAT?! YOU ARE IN WAY OVER YOUR HEAD, BILLIE. THAT'S WHY YOU CALLED FOR MY HELP. I DID NOT CALL FOR YOU! JUST LET ME AND MY SISTERS DEAL WITH THIS, OK? WAIT? WHAT SISTERS? ARE THEY WITCHES, TOO? JUST STAY HERE! I'LL BE BACK. UH! STAY! HEY, JULIE. DEX, HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? WELL, YOU KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT I'D STOP BY AND SEE HOW THINGS WENT WITH THE TRIBUTE. OH, ACTUALLY, IT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE TRIBUTE. NO? WELL, APPARENTLY THE NEWSPAPER'S HAVING A HARD TIME GETTING THE ADVICE COLUMN OUT EVER SINCE--YOU KNOW. YEAH. SO THEY ASKED ME TO HELP OUT A LITTLE BIT, WHICH I THOUGHT WAS KIND OF WEIRD, BUT I SAID SURE BECAUSE I'M HERE AND NOT DOING ANYTHING, YOU KNOW. WELL, YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'RE ENJOYING YOURSELF. YEAH. OH, HEY, UM, GET THIS TO COPY RIGHT AWAY, AND MAKE SURE THAT "WORRIED IN WALNUT CREEK" IS BEFORE "BUMMED IN BOSTON" BECAUSE IT JUST FLOWS BETTER, OK? THANKS. HEH. DEADLINES. I WONDER WHAT MADE THEM ASK YOU, OF ALL PEOPLE. I DON'T KNOW. THEY SAID SOMETHING ABOUT HOPING-- IT MIGHT RUN IN THE FAMILY? YES. THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT THEY SAID. WAIT A MINUTE. DID YOU HAVE-- I RAN INTO YOUR EDITOR IN THE ELEVATOR. TOLD HER I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO HELP. HEY, ANYTHING'S BETTER THAN THE CRAP THEY'VE BEEN PRINTING, RIGHT? YEAH. THANKS, I THINK. HEH! LOOK, I WAS JUST TRYING TO PROTECT YOUR COUSIN'S COLUMN. YOU KNOW, I WAS HER BIGGEST FAN. I CAN SEE THAT. IT'S TOO BAD YOU NEVER GOT TO KNOW HER. WELL, UM... MAYBE YOU COULD CATCH ME UP OVER DINNER. REPORTER: A FOURTH VICTIM, ALICE ROBBINS, 18, HAS JUST BEEN DISCOVERED WALKING DOWN THE MIDDLE OF MARKET STREET WITHOUT ANY SENSE OF WHO SHE WAS OR WHAT SHE WAS DOING. WITNESSES SAY THAT, LIKE THE OTHERS, SHE WAS MUMBLING INCOHERENTLY. IN THIS CASE, ABOUT A PATH THAT LEADS NOWHERE AND SMILES WITHOUT FACES. SMILES WITHOUT FACES. WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON OUT THERE? UH, I HAVE TO GO NOW. WHAT? I'LL CALL YOU. I'M SORRY. THE TEENS ARE BEING LURED BY A FAIRY TALE. YEAH. ALICE IN WONDERLAND. WE KNOW. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW? BILLIE. BILLIE? WHO IS BILLIE? PAIGE'S NEW CHARGE. WHAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND IS WHY ALICE IN WONDERLAND. WHY DID THE DEMON PICK THAT ONE? ARE YOU KIDDING? IT'S ALL ABOUT THE LOSS OF INNOCENCE, THE NEED FOR ESCAPE, THE SEARCH FOR ONE'S IDENTITY. WELL, IF THAT'S THE CASE, I'M SURPRISED IT DIDN'T LURE US, TOO. MAYBE IT WAS MEANT TO. WHY ELSE WOULD A DEMON GO THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE? WHAT, JUST TO MESS WITH A COUPLE OF KIDS? POSSIBLY. I THINK THESE SIGNS ARE TOO ELABORATE NOT TO BE MEANT FOR US. AND BILLIE. WELL, NO, I DON'T THINK IT WAS MEANT FOR HER. I THINK SHE JUST FOUND IT. WHICH MAKES HER ONE SMART WITCH. YEAH, MAYBE TOO SMART FOR HER OWN GOOD, I THINK. SO YOU THINK THIS IS A TRAP? COULD BE. OK, THEN WHAT DO WE DO? I MEAN WE CAN'T GO AFTER THE DEMON. WELL, IF WE DON'T DO ANYTHING, THEN MORE INNOCENTS WILL BE HURT. INNOCENTS ARE ALWAYS GONNA GET HURT. I KNOW, LEO, BUT IT'S A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENT WHEN WE'RE AWARE OF IT. I DON'T THINK THIS IS SOMETHING WE CAN IGNORE. SO HOW DO WE FIND THEM? WELL, BILLIE KNOWS HOW. I'LL GO GET HER SCRYING STUFF AND YOU STAY AND MAKE POTIONS, OK? WHAT IF SHE FIGURES US OUT? I DON'T THINK SHE'S GONNA FIGURE THIS OUT BECAUSE TO HER THIS IS ALL JUST A LOVELY LITTLE GAME. YEAH, WELL, IT'S ONE WE'D BETTER WIN. WE'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU. UNH! AAH! (COUGHS) AHH! I'M CURIOUS. WHICH ONE ARE YOU? PHOEBE? PIPER? PAIGE? I THINK YOU HAVE ME CONFUSED WITH SOMEBODY ELSE. I THINK NOT. (COUGHS) SEND HER THROUGH. THEN AFTER HER SISTERS FIND HER WANDERING THE STREETS AND COME LOOKING FOR REVENGE, WE WILL SEND THEM THROUGH, TOO. WHERE'S BILLIE? IN BIG TROUBLE. SHE DECIDED TO GO AFTER THE DEMONS BY HERSELF. WHAT? KNOW WHERE TO FIND HER? I THINK SO. I TOOK THIS FROM HER COMPUTER, SHOWING ME HOW SHE SCRYED. SHE WAS SCRYING WITH A COMPUTER? THAT'S PRETTY STATE OF THE ART. RIGHT. WELL, IT JUST MIGHT GET HER KILLED FASTER. GOT HER. OK. HANG ON A SECOND. WAIT ONE SECOND. WHAT IF BILLIE DOESN'T NEED SAVING? WHAT? YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT SHE'S TALKING ABOUT? I'M TALKING ABOUT WHAT IF BILLIE IS PART OF THE TRAP? OH, THAT IS ABSURD. IS IT? THINK ABOUT IT. EITHER SHE'S AS SMART AS YOU THINK SHE IS AND SHE'S FIGURED ALL OF THIS OUT BY HERSELF, OR-- SHE'S WORKING WITH THE DEMONS. OH, PLEASE. COME ON, PAIGE. HOW WELL DO YOU REALLY KNOW HER? SHE COULD'VE PLANTED ALL OF THE SIGNS. VOICE: WHY IS A RAVEN LIKE A DESK, HUH? HAAS: HA HA HA! TWINKLE, TWINKLE! OFF WITH HER HEAD! HA HA HA! OH! KILL HER! KILL HER! CUT HER HEAD OFF! HA HA HA! (SCREAMS) KILL HER! I SAID KILL HER! RIGHT NOW! OFF WITH HER HEAD! KILL HER! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! (BREATHING HEAVILY) WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME? "I'LL BE THE JUDGE AND THE JURY," SAID THE CUNNING OLD FURY. "AND I'LL TRY THE WHOLE CASE THEN CONDEMN YOU TO DEATH." OHH! NO! AAH! PAIGE: BILLIE, ARE YOU IN THERE? YEAH. HAAS: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? HOW DID YOU DO THIS? YOU KILLED HER. BRIGHT SIDE? AT LEAST SHE GOT TO MEET US FIRST. I SHOULD'VE NEVER UNDERESTIMATED YOU. I KNEW YOU WERE ALIVE. TOO BAD YOU WON'T BE AROUND LONG ENOUGH TO TELL ANYBODY. AAAAH! (SIGHS) WOW! YOU'RE WELCOME. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. YOU GUYS REALLY ARE THE CHARMED ONES. AHEM. I DID A LITTLE RESEARCH AFTER YOU LEFT. THE NEWSPAPERS SAID YOU ALL DIED IN SOME TERRIBLE ACCIDENT. AND WHICH ONE ARE YOU? I WOULD BE PAIGE. WHAT DO WE DO? BLOW HER UP? PIPER! WHAT? DO YOU HAVE ANY BETTER IDEAS? I'M NOT GONNA TELL ANYONE IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK. I PROMISE. WHAT'S THE CATCH? WELL, SHOW ME THE ROPES. TEACH ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW ABOUT WITCHCRAFT. EVERYTHING. FORGET IT. WAIT A SECOND. WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO OFFER? I CAN HELP YOU GUYS FIGHT THE DEMONS SO YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO IT ALL THE TIME. I MEAN, I ASSUME THAT IS WHY YOU FAKED YOUR OWN DEATHS, RIGHT? YOU'RE RIGHT. SHE IS TOO SMART FOR HER OWN GOOD. ALL RIGHT. ONE CONDITION. LOSE THE CHEAP VINYL OUTFIT. OH. SORRY. PHOEBE: IT'S FUNNY SOMETIMES WHERE SIGNS LEAD YOU-- RARELY WHERE YOU THOUGHT YOU'D GO, BUT ALWAYS WHERE YOU BELONG. IN PAIGE'S CASE, THOUGH SHE REALIZED THAT BEING A COP WASN'T HER CUP OF TEA, BEING WITH A CERTAIN COP WAS. FOR PIPER, THE ONLY SIGN SHE REALLY NEEDED WAS THE ONE THAT REMINDED HER SHE WASN'T ALONE. HEH HEH HEH! HEH HEH HEH! OH, YEAH. SORRY. HERE. OH, WELL. HA! AS FOR ME, I DISCOVERED THAT, JUST LIKE ALICE, NO MATTER HOW WILD THE RIDE, SIGNS WILL LEAD YOU RIGHT BACK TO WHERE YOU STARTED FROM... CHANGED, DIFFERENT... BUT...HOME. AND THEY LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER... CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.