(INTRIGUING MUSIC) (BIRDS TWITTER, DISTANT CHATTER) (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) (SAM FREEDMAN'S 'WHEN MY WAHINE DOES THE POI') - DAPHNE WALKER: # When my wahine does the poi, # her graceful motion is a joy. # A supple twist of her wrist # when my wahine does the poi. # Each times she twirls her tiny ball, # you'll see the beauty of it all. # She'll win your heart from the start # when my wahine... - You wouldn't believe it, but... - Let me guess ` no soap? - # ...picture of perfection. - You wouldn't mind if I, um...? - # One look in her direction... - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) - # ...and all your cares take wing. # Across the shaky little isles, # they come from miles and miles and miles. # In every heart, she's the star when my wahine... - (GIGGLES SOFTLY) (MUSIC CONTINUES) (GIRLS GIGGLE) (GIRLS LAUGH) - (INDISTINCT CHATTER) - (LAUGHS) OK. - Hey. - Hey! Aw. (LAUGHS) You guys. (CHATTER CONTINUES) - Dad! Dad! - Rina. - Aw. Hey, it's Mum. - Yeah. (SIGHS) She's ubiquitous. (MUSIC CONTINUES) - 'Ubiquitous'? - She's everywhere. - Oh. - She's probably watching us now. - (GIGGLES) - (SIZZLING) - A visitor from Tijuana gave me this one. Plenty of jalapeno gives it a whole lot of bite. Ah, but don't make the mistake of using cheap meat. Now, I'm just adding a wee bit of rosemary here. It really brings out the` the flavour and the tenderness of the pork. (BIRDS TWITTER, CICADAS CHIRP IN DISTANCE) - Giz a chip? - (PACKET RUSTLES) Cheers. - I'm gonna fuck your hairless arse all the way back to China. - (LAUGHS SILENTLY) He will. I've seen it. Butter is your friend. - You speak English?! - I'm from Otaki. - No shit? We got a place here in New Zealand sounds just like that, eh? (GRUNTING, GROANING) (CLANGING, MUFFLED SHOUTING) (ROUSING COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC) - DRIVER: They're all right, mate. (MUSIC CONTINUES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) (ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL) Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air. www.able.co.nz Copyright Able 2022 (COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) (HANDBRAKE GRINDS, ENGINE STOPS) - Should've bought a Lotto ticket. - Hey, guys. Be right there. (CAR DOOR OPENS) So, what will it be? - SIGHS: Mince and cheese. - Sweet as. (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (CLATTERING) - Ah, shit. (FLAME HISSES) Oh, bugger. - Fuckin' idiot! (SKITTERING) (BOOM!) (PRISONERS YELL) - (SCREAMS, WHIMPERS) - Fuuuuuuuuuuuck! (GLASS SHATTERS) - (YELLS) - Holy` - (GROANS) (MUSIC CONTINUES) - (PANTS) - (SCREAMS) - (GUN FIRES) (BULLETS RICOCHET) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (SCREAMING STOPS) (SCREAMING RESUMES) (GLASS SHATTERS, BULLETS RICOCHET) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (BULLETS CLANG) - (YELLS) - (BULLETS RICOCHET) (CONTINUES SCREAMING) (CLICK! CLICK! CLICK!) (CLICK! MAN YELPS) - SIGHS: Oh, fuckin' hell. (COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) (RIFLE COCKS) (BANG!) - (GROANS) (SLIDE-BOLT CLICKS) (BULLET CLANGS, RIFLE COCKS) (BANG!) - (YELLS) (COFFEE BEANS RATTLE) (MUSIC FADES) (BIRDS TWITTER, WIND WHISTLES) - (PANTS) Mince and cheese. - (GRUNTS) Get me the fuck out of here! - (LAUGHS) (SLOW, ATMOSPHERIC CHANTING OVER CAR STEREO) - Did you keep away from that boys' school? - Dad, I'm not even interested in boys. I'm way too busy for that sort of stuff. What is this shit? - 'Shit'? This music has its roots in an ancient culture. Go on ` try it. (SINGS) Nabu... - BOTH CHANT: # ...wane ki wana. # - (CHUCKLES) - Good. Again. - BOTH: # Nabu... - # ...wane ki wa` - # RAPS: ...ki wana, yeah. # Nabu wane ki wana. Uh, uh. # (LAUGHS) Dad, it's shit. (CHUCKLES) (ENGINE RUMBLES) (DOOR RATTLES) (CLANG!) (ENGINE STOPS) (LOW, UNSETTLING MUSIC) - MARGARET: In today's show, we've touched briefly on cooking with jalapeno, but let's not forget ` these little hotties also work as a dessert. - WHISPERS: Shhh. She's filming. - Next week, we'll be making jalapeno jelly. Now, open up, Bruce. So... what do you think? - (COUGHS, CHOKES) Good. - I would like to thank Bruce Takutai for coming into my kitchen today and talking about his new book, 'Sharkbait: A Story of Survival'. - (GRUNTS, MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) - (SHARPIE SQUEAKS) (GRUNTS, CHUCKLES) - Would you look at that? Amazing. Until next week, ka kite ano, e hoa ma. - (CRUNCH!) - WOMAN: And cut. - (GASPS) Oh, my baby! - (COUGHS) - (GIGGLES) Mwah! - RINA: Is he OK? - Oh, Kathy'll sort him out. Look at you ` skin and bone! - (GIGGLES) - You need some good home cooking. - (PANTS, YELLS IN PAIN) - Glove box. Glove box. - (GROANS, PANTS) - Strap him up ` stop him bleeding on the velour. - Who the fuck is this dick? - We needed an explosives guy. - Yeah, might've overdone it a bit. (CHUCKLES) Sorry, mate. - # One, two, three, four! (THE DATSUNS' 'HIGHSCHOOL HOODLUMS') - OK, baby, this is gonna hurt. - (PANTS) - (BONE CLICKS) - (SCREAMS) - SOBS: Oh, God. - Whoa. (SCREAMS) - What was that? - Morphine. - Really? - Bit better than aspirin. - (TYRES SCREECH, RICHIE GRUNTS) - Whoa! - Stop the fuckin' car! Let Gigi drive. - Hey, I only take orders from your bro. - Is that right, huh? Little Paulie all grown up now, huh? - Fuck you, Ritchie. - STEREO: # Baby girl, you're on my mind. # I think about you all the time, # cos you're stuck inside my brain... - (THUD!) - (GASPS) - BOY: Ow. - # ...even know your name. Kia ora, Rina. - (SIGHS) Shaun. - Wow. - What? - You've got bosoms. - (SCOFFS) - Geez. - (SCOFFS) - It's just an observation. You go away for six months and you come back all womanly. He wahine koe. He wahine. - Yeah. Oh, God, you haven't changed at all. You know nothing's ever gonna happen between us, right? - Well, you can't see the future. Only I can. The Treaty partnership fully realised. These pois are really heavy. - Yeah. I weighted them with rocks to make my wrists stronger. - I love your pois, Rina. - Oh, shut up! Shut... - Ow! - (LAUGHS) ...up! (THE DATSUNS' 'HIGHSCHOOL HOODLUMS') - RITCHIE: Where the hell are we? (TYRES SCREECH) - # Highschool hoodlums! # Highschool... # - SING-SONG: Da-da-daaa! - That's a big box of chocolates. - The first copy. - And what's the marketing plan for this one? - I've decided to be a guest on your show. - Oh, of course you did. - And it's gonna be better than the crap you usually have on. (SIGHS) (MUFFLED POP MUSIC PLAYS) HEMI: Rina! - Right, you have to leave. If Dad catches a boy in my room, he'll go mental. - Well, don't you think it's time I met him properly, then? - No. - It's quite a long way down, Rina. - Tough. - You wouldn't. - I might. - You don't have a nasty bone in your body. - SCOFFS: Oh, come on. - Mm. Mm. Mm. - INDIGNANTLY: Mm! Mm! - Mm, mm... - (NET CURTAIN RIPS) - Whoa! - (HEAVY THUD) - (GASPS) - (BIRDS TWITTER) - (INHALES SHARPLY, SIGHS) I'm gonna keep this and imagine you inside it, with your lovely new bosoms. - (SCOFFS) (ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) - You lose a limb, you become a victim of incest ` suddenly you're on the best-seller list and you're being promoted on cappuccino television shows. - (SIGHS) Well, maybe you should cut something off, darling. - You've already chopped my balls off, sweetheart. What more do you want? Come on. It'll be great. I just wanna have a stab at the big time, you know. You're like the Oprah of the food shows. - Oprah? - Mm-hm. - And what exactly is that supposed to mean? Are you saying I'm`? - (SHRIEKS) What's that? - HEMI: Oh. That. - We agreed that you tell her. - Role change. - So now I have to perform all day, then cook dinner and do the big talks? - Mm-hm. - Please tell me what this is doing in our fridge. It's fake, right? - (SIGHS) Oh, baby. While you've been away, your father and I have... had a wee lifestyle change. - What? You eat people? (SCOFFS) (BIRDS TWITTER IN DISTANCE, FRIDGE MOTOR HUMS) (REMI SCREAMS) - STEREO: # Highschool hoodlums! - (CAR RUMBLES) # Highschool hoodlums! # Highschool hoodlums! - RITCHIE: What is wrong with this car? - Well, it was checked by the AA. - Paul, shoot this fucker right now. - Cops. - (GASPS) - # Highschool Hoodlums! - Uh, go into that garage. Go. Go! Go, go, go, go, go! (TYRES SCREECH, ENGINE REVS) (TYRES SCREECH) (DEAFENING CRASH) - (PANTS) (SLOW COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC) (GRUNTS) - Hey! What are you doing? (GRUNTS) - (RINA PANTS) - Not a word. Not a fucking word. - Hi, honey. I'm home. - RINA, WHIMPERING: My nose. - Oh... - Where's the switch to the garage door? (ALL PANT) (BIRDS TWITTER, DOOR RATTLES) - Come on. - Get up. - (WHIMPERS) - Hurry up. - OK. OK! - Come on, guys. - Sit down! - Sit down. - Oh, calm down. Calm down. - Phwoar. Look at this place, eh? - (RITCHIE GROANS) - Nice drapes. - Sit down. - (GROANS) - I know you. - (SPITS) - Oh! - Get out of my house before I call the cops! - (SILENCED GUNSHOT) - (SHRIEKS) - Stop! Please, don't! - We're the new homeowners, so shut up. - (ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) - They can't just disappear! - Could've gone into one of the houses. - Yeah, but which one? (BIRDS TWITTER IN DISTANCE) - Anybody else live here? - No. - Gigi and I'll check the rooms. You sort his wounds out. (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) - WHISPERS: Whose hand was that? - WHISPERS: Sweetheart, let's just deal with this first, OK? - (FLICK KNIFE RATTLES) - You fuck up again, wonderboy, and I will kill you. (BREATHES HEAVILY) - You need some more morphine, bro. - (GROANS) You're a little uptight. - (GROANS) (WHIMPERS, EXHALES SHAKILY) Owwww. (BANDAGE RIPS; RITCHIE WHIMPERS, PANTS) - Where'd you find that guy? Internet chat room? - INDIGNANTLY: This has nothing to do with you. - Talk to Ritchie about it? - He was in fucking jail. Besides, Gigi, I'm not like you ` I can think for myself. You check the rooms! - The longer we stay here... harder it is to get out. - Look, just leave it to me, OK? Cos I'm the one who set this whole thing up. So I say when we stay and when we go. (DOOR SHUTS) (TENSE MUSIC) (SOFT CREAKING) (SOFT CLICK) (SOFT, UNSETTLING MUSIC) (STEADY EXHALE) (RIFLE CLICKS) (SCREAM IN DISTANCE, PILL BOTTLES CLATTER) (TENSE MUSIC) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (BIRDS TWITTER IN DISTANCE) - Brothel owner in Seaview? Oh ` teacher at Reporoa Intermediate? - (GRUNTS, PANTS) - Where's the boy? - Leave her alone! - Where?! - You're Margaret! Margaret Crane! - Shoot her! Shoot her! Shoot her! - Hey, man, her book Food for Flatmates saved my life when I was a student. - Look, she wrote a cookbook, OK? - (GUN COCKS) A harmless little cookbook. - You lied. - No, I didn't. Technically he doesn't live here, all right? He's always at his mates'. - Where is he now? - His name is Glenn, and` and he's at his` - He's at his cricket game, OK? - Is there anyone else in this fucking house, technically or otherwise? - No. - We expecting anyone else? - You have my word. (CAR DOOR OPENS IN DISTANCE) (CAR DOOR SHUTS, FOOTSTEPS THUD) (TENSE MUSIC) - Whoa. - Run, Glenn! (WHACK! GRUNTING) - (SHRIEKS) (BANG! GLASS SHATTERS, RINA SCREAMS) (GUN COCKS) (BANG!) (BANG!) - Whoa. Jesus! (GRUNTING, RIFLE COCKS) - (SHRIEKS) - (BANG!) (RIFLE COCKS, FIRES) (LEAVES RUSTLE PEACEFULLY) (BANG! DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE) (GRUNTING) (BANG!) (HARD ROCK MUSIC) - (GRUNTS) - (RINA WHIMPERS) - (RIFLE COCKS) - (PANTS) (MUSIC ENDS) - You're gonna have to remodel this living room, Margaret. - (CLICK!) - I'll kill you fucking all! - (WHIMPERING) - CALMLY: Now, now. That's just the speed talking. (GROANS) Split them up. It's just a suggestion, little brother. We're in the 'burbs now. The neighbours don't like their lives disturbed. I'll take the girl. - PAULIE: I'll take that fucker. - All right. Gigi gets the kid, and wonderboy here gets the writer. - I'm the writer. I'm the damn writer here. (CRICKETS CHIRP, DOG BARKS IN DISTANCE) (MUFFLED THUDDING) - Are you OK? - Yeah. - Hey, shut up! - (GASPS) - Why don't I take the girl? - Why should I listen to you? - I just risked my life breaking you out. - You nearly got me killed. - EXHALES: Oh... Don't you remember the good times, Ritchie? - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You really can't live without me. Hey, baby? - Just let me take the girl. (GASPS) - RITCHIE: Fuck you. Get in that room. (SOFT, TENSE MUSIC) - So, when did you emigrate from Taiwan? - What makes you think I'm from Taiwan, fuck-knuckle? - I feel it. In here. - (CLOCK TICKS SOFTLY) You and I have the same blood running through our veins. - (METAL CLATTERS) - Are you nuts? - No. No. DNA. We share the same DNA, my friend. The origins of the Maori take us all the way back to the highlands of Taiwan. And I'm publishing a book about it. (BEDFRAME CREAKS) - (SIGHS HEAVILY) (MUSIC CONTINUES) INHALES, SIGHS: Hm. - (SIGHS) - Steal these off your dad? Hmm. Fuck. - You turned me on to cooking, Mrs Crane. Crockpots in particular. I always thought they were for old people and families before I read your book. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) I really connected to how it was for you when you left Morrinsville and went flatting in the big smoke. I came off a farm too. (EXHALES SOFTLY) '50 Ways To Cook a Spud'. (SOFT, TENSE MUSIC) You're a... Do you mind if I call you Margaret? Johnny. - Johnny. - You're a culinary genius, Margaret. - You're a Maori, right? - Yeah. What else would I be? - Pfft. I dunno. Pacific Islander? You all look the same to me, anyway. SIGHS: Look, I've got nothing against the Maoris. Not the girls, anyway. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) You wanna save your family, yeah? Take these off. (SOFT, TENSE MUSIC) I've only got one hand at the moment... (GUN CLICKS) ...and it makes it a bit difficult, especially when I'm holding the gun. - Te po ka tatai waka. Whoosh! - What?! - Te po ka tatai waka. - (LAUGHS MANIACALLY) (CLOCK TICKS SOFTLY) - And do you where the beating heart of this new culture lies, my friend? - No. (SNIGGERS) - Martial arts. - (LAUGHS) LAUGHS: Oh! Oh, that's great. That's fucking great. Quite possibly the dumbest shit I've ever seen. Who the hell do you think you are? - My name is Crane. Dr Hemi Crane, Professor of Religious Studies at Central University. - That says 'Associate Professor'. - Some people are doing their best to ensure us Maori don't move up the academic ranks. - (LAUGHS) You're funny, Doc. (SNIFFS) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Hands full. Sorry. - I've got other skills. - (CHUCKLES) Well, then... you'd better show me your CV. - You seem more interested in those than I am. - (SNIFFS) Have a line. - I'm OK. - Have a line. (SLOW, BEGUILING MUSIC) (WHOOSH!) (POI WHOOSHES) (POI WHOOSHES) - Have you tried my sausage rolls? - Fuckin' A. Dad had his 60th earlier this year, and Mum ordered all the meat dishes from your site. - (FLY BUZZES NEARBY) - I've just got one question. It's about the patties. - Ask away. - It's such a delicate flavour ` not quite pork, but close. I never tasted anything like them. Firm... but tender. - (FLY BUZZES) It almost turns to jelly before melting in your mouth. (SLAM!) Got the little bastard. Jesus! What the fuck is that?! - It's a prosthetic. - Well, it looks like a hand to me. - A fake hand. A prop. - Oh, this is the shit. - MUTTERS: You can say that again. (SIGHS, SNIFFS) - 'Solomon "Ehia" Smith`' - Ihaia. - 'Solomon Ihaia Smith (SNIFFS) was a 19-century prophet. 'His father was Irish Catholic, his mother Maori. 'He and his congregation committed mass suicide by swallowing poison.' - But his word lives on. - Boom. What a badass motherfucker. - And get this ` to his most loyal followers, he promised the gift of immortality. (GIGI SIGHS SOFTLY) (TENSE MUSIC) (POI WHOOSHES) (BEGUILING MUSIC CONTINUES) - (YELLS) - Argh! Argh! Argh! Argh! (SQUELCHING) - Whoa. (YELLS) - (GRUNTS) - (INSINKERATOR GRINDS) - Argh! - (SHRIEKS) - (YELLS) - Argh! Oh, fuck! - (GRUNTS) Ah! Ah! No! No! What`? Why did you do that?! I'm your biggest fan, Margaret. (GRUNTING) - (GRUNTS) - (SHRIEKS) (SHRIEKS) - (GRUNTS) - (GRUNTS) - (PANTS) (CRUNCH!) (SCREAMS) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (SCREAMING CONTINUES) (FLESH TEARS, RITCHIE WHIMPERS) - (PANTS) (RITCHIE GRUNTS, YELLS) - (RIFLE COCKS) - Put the gun down. - No! - What the fuck?! - You too. - (BOTH BREATHE HEAVILY) - Hey, you wanna tell the whole neighbourhood we're here? Scream was loud enough to wake the dead. - (GROANS, SOBS) - What happened? - (PANTS) She came on to me... and then bit me when I was pushing her off! (WHIMPERS) - She made you put on her panties, didn't she, babe? - PANTS: That's right. - And her bra? - That's right! - (RITCHIE WHIMPERS) - You're a sick little girl. - But I didn't` - SOFTLY: Dangerous. (RITCHIE SOBS) - Girls like you should be locked up. - (RITCHIE WHIMPERS) - Throw him his clothes. - (GRUNTS) - You'd better go see if Johnny's got something in his magic first-aid kit. - (GROANS, PANTS) Watch her. She's pretty frisky. - (SPITS) (CLOCK TICKS SOFTLY) - (GRUNTS, SNIFFS) Don't look too immortal now, bro. (GRUNTS) (SHRIEKS) - (GRUNTS) - (WHIMPERS) - (GRUNTS, YELLS) - (SILENCED GUNSHOT) - Argh! (BOTH PANT) - (FABRIC TEARS) - Ah! (GRUNTS AGGRESSIVELY) Hi a ha! - What?! - (SNARLS) - (SILENCED GUNSHOT) - (YELLS) (GROANS, PANTS) - You're gonna let him get away with that? - What? - You're fine about your boyfriend molesting schoolgirls? And by the way, he couldn't even get a hard-on until he put on my undies. But you already know he's a freak. - You need to shut your face, kid. - OK. (LOUD CRASH IN DISTANCE) (SOFT, PENSIVE MUSIC) Her name's Hine-Whaiao. - What's her special power? - I haven't decided yet. - (LOUD CRASH IN DISTANCE) - Everyone's got a special power. - (PANTS) - Had me going there for a bit, Doc. Almost believed you were immortal. (PANTS) - (HELICOPTER APPROACHES) (ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) (SNIFFS) No more fucking mumbo-jumbo. - (HELICOPTER PASSES) - PANTS: Ah. Ah. (SNIFFS, PANTS) - Hey! Bring 'em all to the living room. We gotta stick together! - (SIGHS) Such stealth (!) (CLICKS FINGERS) (ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) (HELICOPTER NOISE FADES) - There's something I have to tell you. It's about Mum and Dad. Don't freak. I found a hand in the fridge. - Oh, that. (SCOFFS) - What do you mean 'that'? (GASPS) We're talking about a person's hand in the fridge. - It's just leftovers. Don't worry about it. - (SCOFFS SOFTLY) - Dad's reviving one of the 18th-century post-colonial religions ` the Solomonites. It's all about eating people. - What? - Dad initiated me into the religion while you were away. - How? - I've been Solomonised. (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - SHAKILY: They haven't actually forced you to eat human flesh yet. Right? - (SIGHS) They didn't have to force me. Just like they didn't have to force you. - Eh? - You know those pork and rosemary pies we sent you? (SIGHS) That wasn't pork. You're a cannibal too. - (SOBS) No. No. - I even helped Dad find the meat. - SOBS: 'Find'? What do you mean 'find'? (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - (GAGS) (GAGS) (RETCHES, COUGHS) - (VOMIT SPLATTERS) (SPITS) (SNIFFS) (DOOR OPENS) (PENSIVE MUSIC) - You try anything, I'll break your nose. - # Do you ever get to a place # where you wanna keep drivin' away, # wanna keep runnin' # cos you're so sick of tryin'? - (SIGHS) It's sticking to me. - # So sick of trying. - Lift your arms up. - # Do you ever feel the world # just passin' you by # and you know you gotta carry on # but you'd rather curl up and die? - Need help with your pants? - Yeah. I got chunder everywhere. - # I know you've been hurtin' # and things are never gonna be the same. # I can tell you, darlin', # you gotta hold on. # Hold on. # Things'll get good again. # Things'll... - Hurry up. Get dressed. - But I still stink. A little soap might help. - # Things'll get good again. # Things'll get good again. # - (PANTS) (GRUNTS) (GROANS) (YELLS IN PAIN, SOBS) (PANTS) (SOBS, WHIMPERS) SOBS: Owww! (WHIMPERS) Ah! Ah! (PANTS, SOBS) (BREATHES HEAVILY) - (SYRINGE STABS) - (YELLS) (GROANS, WHIMPERS) Oh... Oh... Oh... Where's that bitch girl? (PANTS) She bit me. Fucking kill her! - Whoa, dude. - Kill the fuckin' lot of them. Let's go. - You having your period? - (GROWLS) - Hey. That's my brother! - You, wonderboy ` kill 'em now. - Do you have any idea how famous the mother is? - Stop pointing your gun at my bro. - Well, she's a New Zealand icon. - I wouldn't go that far. - Point the gun away! - She's my hostage, not yours. I decide what happens to her. - Thank you, Johnny. - Don't think I'm finished with you yet, Margaret. - Oh, first names. How sweet. - (GUN COCKS) - Dude, you hurt her, the whole country'll be after us. - Guns down, boys. Still need the hostages. You need a rest. - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - CHUCKLES: He's even got a girl's arse. - (GROWLS) - No, I-I'm just saying. - Sit down. - (SNIFFS) Hey, chef... is there anything to eat in your house? - There's food in the pantry. - Kid's a genius (!) 'Food in the pantry'. (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) - You made me eat someone without my knowledge. - Let's talk about this later. - You're sick. - That's what you think now, but... you'll get used to the idea, maybe even see the benefits. - You're my parents. You're supposed to be my moral compass. How could you? - HEMI: We're still here for you, babe. And Solomon is your future. It's because of him our family will grow strong. Blood is thicker than water. - And a lot tastier. - (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SNIFFS) - JOHNNY: Hey, where's the, um` the TV remote? - HEMI: Over there. - (INDISTINCT CONVERSATION CONTINUES) - (SIGHS, SUCKS FINGER) Mm. (SNIFFS) (ELECTRONIC GAME NOISE FROM TV) (FLOORBOARD CREAKS) (SNIFFS) (SOFT, UNEASY MUSIC) (STEP CREAKS SOFTLY) (BREATHES SHALLOWLY) (FLOORBOARD CREAKS) (SCHLING!) (SCHLING!) - (INHALES SHARPLY THROUGH SNORE) - (GAME NOISES CONTINUE) - Where's Paul with the munchies? - Maybe he took off. Made a deal with the police. - No, he fuckin' didn't. - If he's gone, it's cos he's run out of drugs. - Wow. Paul is on drugs (?) - (SIGHS) I'll go find him. - (GAME NOISES CONTINUE) Remember ` dead hostages are an oxymoron. - A what? - They don't work. Me karakia taua. - (INHALES) - BOTH CHANT: # Ka inoi atu au ki a koe, # Ihaia Horomona, # kai te matu, Smith. - What are they doing? - # Ka tau te iho o... - RINA: Praying. - # ...to mauri ki runga... - Well, they can cut it out. - # ...i ahau. Uhia to mana, to ihi... - (TAPE RIPS) - # ...to wehi, to tapu # ki runga i tenei ma` - GLENN CONTINUES: # ...to ingoa tapu. - Maori Language Week is over. - (SCOFFS) - # Ka whaka... - Only smart thing you've done all day, wonderboy. - # ...amine. # (SIGHS) - I read that article in the New Idea, and now that I've met him, I don't blame you for having the affair. - (GROWLS, MUMBLES INDISTINCTLY) - (VEHICLE APPROACHES) - Cops are here. Paul's gone. I can't find him. - He wouldn't just leave. - Ritchie, he's an addict. He gone. I'm the boss now. - (CAR DOOR OPENS) You do what I say, OK? - Sure thing, little lady. - Get up! (TENSE MUSIC) (DOORBELL RINGS) (DOGS BARK IN DISTANCE) - Well, hello there. Officer Lance Nisbet. - Rina. - I've come to inform you that there are criminals at large in the area, and we request that you stay inside with your doors and windows locked. You seen anything unusual in the last few hours? You home alone? Right. Where are Mum and Dad, then? - Uh, they're at a parent-teacher interview. - OK. D'you mind if I come inside? - Yes. - EXHALES: Oh. I just need to make sure you're safe, Rina. - I know. - Is there a problem? - It's` It's just that I, um... I lied to you. - NISBET: What is it, love? - RINA: My parents. (SIGHS) They're not really at a parent-teacher interview. They're at the, um... casino. - Gamblers. (DOOR SHUTS) Not the sort of place I'd expect gamblers to live in. - SOFTLY: Fuck. - NISBET: Big house. Got your own bedroom? - RINA: We have to get out in a week. Mortgagee sale. - Well... that's too bad, love. (TENSE MUSIC) - Uh, you don't have to do that. Dad's a security freak. - Well, he's certainly got a few valuables to be concerned about. - Mum and Dad had a fight before they went out. - Do you remember what it was about? - No. - Hm. You on something, Rina? - No. That's not mine. - Well, this is methamphetamine. It's the root of all evil in this country. You could be in a lot of trouble here, Rina. Yeah, this is not looking good, love. (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) Well, well. Could this be the secret meth lab? SIGHS: Rina, Rina, Rina. (TRAPDOOR SQUEAKS) Fuck. Hey, what the hell's going on here? (CLICK!) - Oh` No! - (YELLS) - (PEPPER SPRAY HISSES) - (YELLS) (GIGI SHOUTS, LOUD CRASHING) (GIGI SCREAMS) - (GRUNTS) - (PANTS) - Johnny! - (GRUNTS) - Help me! (GRUNTS) - (CRASH!) I can't see! (BOTH GRUNT) (HARD ROCK MUSIC) Johnny! - Who's the boss? (GRUNTING CONTINUES) - Fucking traitor! - Say it! Who's the boss? - (GRUNTS) - Call 111, Rina! - (GIGI PANTS) - Who's... the... boss?! - Fuck it! You are! - (WHACK!) - (GROANS) (BOTH GRUNT) - (LAUGHS BREATHLESSLY) (CHOKES) (ROCK MUSIC CONTINUES) (COUGHS, GASPS) - It's an antidote. For pepper spray. - Rina! (BANG! LANCE GRUNTS) - (PANTS, CHUCKLES BREATHLESSLY) - (SIGHS) - (EXHALES SOFTLY) I'm the boss. - # Check it out, uh. (DRAPHT'S 'RAPUNZEL') # For sure. # Check it out, uh. Yah, yah. RAPS: # From the moment when we met, I was breathless, # and not asbestos- breathless, either. # Always when you least expect it ` # stumbled across Rapunzel, a Libra. - # Couldn't leave. I had to meet her, greet the girl of my dreams # with a kiss on the hand. (What up?) # Little magnificent... - There's whole websites dedicated to chicks doing that. (CHORTLES) - # And even she could see ` her love was like a demolition derby. # I was Herbie the Love Bug, swervin', # cos I work on the road, and she was like Russell the Crowe... (BOTH GRUNT) # Know that I don't wanna fight. # Another night chewin' off my ear like Mike. # Another night ruined ` I knew it, knew you would do it. # Scream when I'm out like Hewitt. - (SHRIEKS ANGRILY) Don't you ever... ever... - (GROANS) - ...fuck... with me... again! I need... to rely on you. - WHIMPERS: Ow! - Otherwise I'm gonna have to kill you. - (BOTH PANT) - Which is it, dickhead? - OK, OK. You're the boss. - OK. OK. I'm taking your gun. You're on probation. Put the body in the... garage. Thanks, kid. (SIGHS) (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) (WATER RUNS) - Well, can we go now? - We need to talk. - About what? - You. Us. What kind of future we have together. - I hadn't really thought about it much. I mean I hadn't really thought about you guys much. Look, either you love Gigi or you don't. I sense that you don't. - Why the fuck is she still alive? - I like her. - She's a fucking schoolgirl! - Stand up to him. - # ... wanna keep runnin', cos you're... - Ritchie... - Do it! - Shut up! - Ritchie! I've stuck with you through everything ` Iwhia... - (GUN CLICKS) - ...the prostitute. - She wasn't a prostitute. - You don't need this loser. You can have anyone you want. Anyone. - # ...and you know you gotta carry on, but you... - SIGHS: Shall I leave the room while you two have a gay wedding? - (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) This isn't one of your porn videos, Ritchie. - Yeah. Fuck you, Ritchie. (GASPS) - You talk too much. - (GUN COCKS) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) You leave her alone. - (SCOFFS, CHUCKLES) Are you for real? Kill me and you'll never know what happened. You'll be all alone, wondering, 'Is she dead? Is she alive? 'What did big bad Ritchie do to my baby? - (GUN COCKS) - (BREATHES SHAKILY) (BANG!) (EXHALES SOFTLY) (BLOOD PULSES) (BLOOD GURGLES, BODY THUDS) (SCREAMS) (DOOR RUMBLES, RATTLES) - Bingo. - Woke up one day... and my baby was gone. Told me that I'd get her back if I was good to him. That he'd tell me where she was. - You should've called the cops. - No. Girls like me don't call the cops. We're even. No more favours. (KEYS JANGLE) - (EXHALES SOFTLY) SIGHS: Love in the 'burbs. - (RAIN PATTERS SOFTLY) (MUFFLED THUDDING) (MUFFLED THUDDING) (SOFT, UNEASY MUSIC) (DOOR CREAKS) (SIGHS) (MUFFLED THUDDING) (THUD!) - (GASPS) - (THUD!) - Oh! (BOOT CREAKS) Huh? Huh? - (MUFFLED SCREAM) - Whoa! (ROUSING COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC) (MUFFLED GRUNTING) - Get off! (GRUNTS, PANTS) (GRUNTS) Die! - (MUFFLED GRUNTING) - Die! Die, you filthy, freakin' fuckin' fool! - (MUFFLED GROAN) - (GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) (KEYS JANGLE) (ENGINE STARTS) (RIFLE COCKS) - Going somewhere? - (CAR ENGINE REVS) (RINA SCREAMS) (ENGINE REVS) (GRUNTING) (MUFFLED GROAN) (GRUNTS ANGRILY) (TYRES SCREECH) (MUFFLED GROAN) (BOTH GRUNT) (MUFFLED GROAN) (GRUNTS, SCREAMS) - (TYRES SCREECH, MUFFLED GROAN) - (SCREAMS) (SCREAMS, GRUNTS) - Switch the car off. Go on! (ENGINE STOPS) - Look, little lady, I just wanna go. OK? I don't wanna be part of this whole fucked-up` Ow! (KEYS JANGLE) (MUFFLED GROANING NEARBY) (MUFFLED PANTING, GROANING CONTINUES) - That's Mr Updike. He's my brother's cricket coach. And the cub scout leader. And the junior boys' swim coach. - Ah. - Looks like he fiddled with the wrong kid. Johnny, take the belt off him. - I really don't know my family at all. - (HANDS CLASP) - Who does? - Ebony and Ivory. - Use the belt to tie dickhead up. Nice and tight. - (BOOT UNLOCKS) - What would your mother think? - I'm not my mother. - (ZIP!) - Ow! - Get in. - Nah. I'm claustrophobic. - Get in. - (GROANS) Ow. (GRUNTS) WHIMPERS: Aw, no... You've got the meanness in you, lady. Mean. She's changed you. And if you don't watch out, she'll turn you into... - (SLAM!) - (MUFFLED) ...a massive lesbian! - You got five seconds to get lost. - And what are you gonna do? - Clean up and get out. - No! You can't. If you wanna kill my family, then you have to start with me. - (GRUNTS) - (THUD!) (PANTS) Sorry, sweetheart. (MELANCHOLY MUSIC) (DOOR CREAKS OPEN) (DOOR SHUTS) (SOFT, TENSE MUSIC) - Where's my daughter? (YELLS) - (YELPS) - (KNIFE STABS) - Oh, f`! - (PENCIL STABS) - (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS, PANTS) - (GRUNTS) - (GRUNTS, GROANS) (COUGHS) - Ti ha! (GRUNTS) - (CRIES OUT) (DOOR CLICKS) - EXHALES: Oh. Margaret. I'm so glad to see you. - Johnny. - Margaret? - Johnny. - (WHIMPERS) Argh! No! Not the crockpot! (GRUNTS, GROANS) - (CHUCKLES) Johnny. - (WATER RUNS) - Did you have to? - Did you have to? - We've already talked about this. - You don't talk to me about anything you do, Margaret. - A photograph of me having dinner with my publicist does not mean we are sleeping together. - Well, you're not sleeping with me. - Where are you taking her? - To where we keep the meat. - Meat? No, Dad. You can't eat Gigi! - Gigi? - Well... that's her name. - Not anymore. It's Kaikai. (FREEZER MOTORS HUM, CHAINS CLINK SOFTLY) (HEMI PANTS) (LIGHTS BUZZ) Rina, what are you doing here? - I... I... - (SOFT SPLASH) (MACHINERY CLANGS) - (SCREAMS) (PANTS) (UNSETTLING MUSIC) SOFTLY: No. (INHALES SHARPLY) - I got close to my secretary Mere at one point. But in the end, she had to go. - You killed her. - She made a nice Bourguignon pie. (CHUCKLES SOFTLY) It was always Mere's dream to go to Paris. - Oh my God. - Well, where do you think we got our meat from, dear? It's gotta be fresh killed ` fresh meat. - (PLASTIC RUSTLES) - (PANTS) And no one else is going to do that for us. Well, not` not yet, anyway. When it comes to meat, anyone who isn't a Solomonite is food. (CHAINS RATTLE) - RINA, SOFTLY: Oh... (CLICK!) (MACHINERY WHIRRS) (GENTLE, WHIMSICAL MUSIC) - Is that the indoor barrow? - Yup. (SNIFFS) Mmm. Smells good, Mum. (SIGHS) (SNIPPING) - (CHUCKLES) (SNIFFS) Want another line, fuck-knuckle? - (SCISSORS CLATTER) - What's happened to you? Where's my Dad gone? - (KNIFE SHARPENS) - Our family are the last of the Solomonites, followers of the boy prophet Solomon Smith. And he had a vision from God... that if his followers took the life force of others, his kingdom would flourish. (SNIFFS) (SQUELCHING) - Mm. - God told him by eating human flesh and drinking of their blood... (GRUNTS) his family would grow strong. (RINA GAGS) Well, don't give me that look. Evidence of ritualistic cannibalism dates back to 1000BC, to the Hun caves in Germany. The Bible itself refers to the siege of Samaria, in which two women made a pact to eat their children. The Aztecs, the French, the Brits ` they all had a go at it at some point. Your ancestors probably did it. I know mine did. - Maori only ate their enemies, Dad. - Too damn fussy. Don't bruise the meat, boy! - GLENN: Sorry. (THUDDING) - Bloody hell. Isn't that Mr Updike? - SIGHS: Yep. The perv. (SNIFFS, SIGHS) - Did you perform the purification ritual? - (CLEARS THROAT) Uh, no, not yet. - Go help your mother. - (CLEARS THROAT) - I wanna help you. - Rina can do that. - But Rina doesn't even like eating people. She's not gonna enjoy cutting them up. - If I need you, I'll call. (MR UPDIKE GROANS) Well, you could've finished him off. MUTTERS: Bloody useless. - What have you done to him? - Look, if I'm tough on him, it's for his own good. The boy needs discipline. Don't get me wrong ` I do care about him very much. But he's the youngest, and that's what makes him special. Taku potiki. - Dad... (UNSETTLING MUSIC) - Both of you are special. - (KNIFE SLICES) - (SCREAMS) - 'No ball' to you, too, paedo. - 'No ball' to you, too, paedo. (CLASSICAL PIANO MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY) - Nau mai, haere mai. Welcome home, darling. Better late for our family meal than never. - (DOORBELL RINGS) - Ooh. That'll be for me. - Will it? Is it Api, your amorous publicist? - It will be the police. - Well, they can't come in here. - They'll be looking for the dead cop. - The nosy bastards. - I'll deal with it. - Glenn, watch your sister. Don't do anything silly. Bloody police state. All they seem to do is give us good folks speeding tickets and arrest Maoris. (FAINT PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES) - (EXHALES) - Kia ora, Rina. - Go home, Shaun. We're busy. - I... - (THUD!) - ...can't stop thinking about you. And please don't judge me by my colour. I might be white, but I've got a Maori heart. I feel Maori, Rina. I really do. - HEMI: Who is it? - It's a friend of Rina's. - Which friend? - It's just Shaun from over the road. - Well, don't be rude. Tell him to come in. We can have him for dinner. - Hm. - Is that your dad? - Go. - If Dr Crane met me and understood that I'm more than just some slightly-too-old paper boy, he'd get to see the real me, the likeable me. - Go. - And then... you and I could` - No. You don't` - (LAUGHS) - Shaun! Don't! - (DOOR CLOSES) (FAINT PIANO MUSIC CONTINUES) Everyone, this is... - Uh, ko Shaun Armstrong ahau. POOR ACCENT: E te rangatira, me te whanau, he tino pai... (SIGHS) ki te... (SWALLOWS) I've been reading your books, Dr Crane. - Really? You're familiar with my work? - Well, I'm just starting to study it. - He's lying. - Shaun wouldn't lie, would you? - What was the book about, dear? - Um... Well` - WHISPERS: Solomonites. - It was, um` uh, dinosaurs, was it? - I get it. You're sweet-talking the father so you can get in my daughter's panties. - It'd be a complete waste of time when the daughter's a pipi-licker. - Oh, you're experimenting with seafood? - Nah, Mum, uh, (CHUCKLES) Rina likes munching rug. - Glenn! Shut up! - Rug-munching? - Sometimes, to save hot water, me and the other girls at school would shower together. It's no big deal. - How sweet. Now, Shaun, eat up. There's plenty to go around. - Oh, Shaun can't stay. He has to be somewhere. - Look, the boy's accepted our offer for dinner. E noho. - Kia ora, e te rangatira. (CUTLERY CLINKS) - You don't like my cooking, Shaun? - No. No, of course I do. It's just that, um, I` - He's not hungry. - No, it's just that I` I don't` - He doesn't like food. - Rina, I can speak for myself. I don't eat meat, Mrs Crane. - CHUCKLES: That can't be, dear. - You're wearing the bone of an animal around your neck. - Oh, well, this sperm whale was already dead. I helped tangata whenua remove its bones. After we'd wept and prayed over them, the tribe presented me with this carved piece of vertebrae and blessed me with a Maori name ` - (SIGHS) Don't, Shaun. - Ihu Nui, or He Who Builds Bridges Between the Worlds. (HEMI, MARGARET COUGH) - HEMI: Ihu Nui? - (HEMI, MARGARET CHUCKLE) - MARGARET: (SIGHS) Ah. - CHUCKLES: Why's that funny? (GLENN CHUCKLES SILENTLY) - Because 'ihu nui' has nothing to do with bridges. - GLENN: (CHUCKLES) It means 'big nose'. - And did your tribe tell you that it's rude to sit at a Maori table and not eat? - Especially that tasty morsel. It's the best part. (CUTLERY CLINKS) (MEAT SQUELCHES) - Drop it. Now. - It's fine. - (EXHALES SHARPLY) - Mm. Very, um... gamey. - (THUD!) Ouch. - Just drop it, you dumb fuck! - Ooh. Language. - (SIGHS) - That's the way, boy. Come on. Eat up. E kai. (CUTLERY SCRAPES) - Goodness, is that...? an ear? - Index finger. (CRUNCHING) Tasty. - So what... what did I just eat? (UNSETTLING MUSIC) (CUTLERY SCRAPES) - Run! - Argh! - (BOTH PANT) (TENSE MUSIC) Come with me! I'm not leaving you here. Come on! (MUSIC INTENSIFIES) (BLOODCURDLING SCREAM) (DOGS BARK) - (SHAUN GRUNTS) Ow! Ow! - HEMI: Don't bruise the meat. - (THUD!) - Ow! Ow. (PANTS) - (FREEZER MOTORS HUM) - Wh...? Oh... Rina? (GRUNTS) Ah! - Let him go! - Ah! - Rina, you have to have a serious think about where your loyalties lie. - Who you worship has nothing to do with Shaun. - Rina! (RINA GASPS) - It's time you were blooded. (RINA SNIFFLES, SIGHS) - Lift it high and strike through the neck ` here. - No. - Well, all right. Would you rather kill her? (CHAINS RATTLE) - (SIGHS, SNIFFLES) I'm sorry, Shaun. I'm sorry I was born into a family that eats people. I'm so sorry you had the bad luck of being my friend. - HEMI: Just get it over with. - Look, I accept that cannibalism was once a part of the Maori way of life. - Oh, we're not Maori cannibals. We're cannibals that just happen to be Maori. (SOFT MUSIC) - I love you. Whatever you were. - He's way too nice, Dad. - God, don't call me nice, Rina. I'm a man. I'm a man. - Just do it now. - If I had to be murdered by anyone... - (SNIFFLES) - ...I'd want it to be by you. My pocket. (KNIFE THUDS SOFTLY) I've kissed it like a thousand times. - (CHUCKLES TEARFULLY) Oh. (SNIFFLES) - Hey. - Hey. (SNIFFLES) - I know that there is another world ` a world where people and animals are friends, where the dawn chorus of birds that once filled the air of Aotearoa with song has returned. - HEMI, GLENN CHANT: # Ka ino atu... - Where commercial whaling is a distant memory, (SNIFFLES) where there's no war... - # ...Horomona, kai te matu, # Smith. # - ...or pollution; where people embrace an environmentally- sustainable lifestyle; where Maori and Pakeha are as one and all the children are bilingual... and also learning Samoan. - (CHUCKLES TEARFULLY, SNIFFLES) Where the Green Party runs the government and rail transport is` - For God's sake. - (SCHLING!) - (GASPS, CRIES OUT) - (WHISPERS) ...free. - (BLOOD GURGLES) - (WHISPERS) ...free. - (BLOOD GURGLES) (HELICOPTER ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) (HELICOPTER NOISE CONTINUES OVERHEAD) - Watch her. - (HELICOPTER PASSES) - You're insane. This whole place is insane! - Rina, this place is the engine and these dead people are the fuel, and they will carry us to a greater destination. - What destination? What is he raving about, Glenn? - (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) - There's a golden glory coming, a strength that only Solomonites will have. A new dawn` - Oh, snap out of it! He's deranged. You're killing people, Glenn! - Why do you always have to make everything so hard for yourself? - Glenn. He's making it all up. He's just on some power trip. Ow! Glenn. Glenn! - (CHAINS RATTLE) - (GASPS) - (GRUNTS) - No! Glenn! (CRIES OUT) - (GRUNTS) - I'm your sister! (PANTS, STRAINS) (TENSE MUSIC) - (GROANS WEAKLY) (ROTOR BLADES THUNDER) (SIRENS WAIL, VEHICLES APPROACH) (TYRES SCREECH) (ENGINES IDLE, SIRENS STOP) - Go around there. Surround the house that way. - Go round the back! Go round to the back! - Back the chopper off. (SIRENS WAIL, VEHICLE APPROACHES) (MUFFLED HELICOPTER NOISE, OFFICERS SHOUT INDISTINCTLY) (TELEPHONE RINGS) (HELICOPTER PASSES OVERHEAD) - Well, Professor, how's this gonna go? - I'm thinking. (RINGING CONTINUES) - Hello. This is the police negotiator. Is that Paul Tan? - Cha-bah-boi. (OFFICERS CONVERSE INDISTINCTLY) - How are the hostages, Paul? Is everybody all right? - MOCK CHINESE ACCENT: Harro? Yeah, this Paul Tan. Hostage OK, but you fuck with me, they all fucking dead. What's your name? - This is Detective Inspector Jimmy Katene. - OK, Mr Jimmy. This what I want. OK? I want a harri-copter with a pirot. I want it to` - A hairy what?! - A harri-copter with a pilot. Deriver it in one hour, in front of hou, on the road. OK? And make sure it got a full tank. (OVER PHONE) You got that, arsehole? - (ENGINES IDLE, OFFICERS CONVERSE) - Yeah. - OK. Demand number two ` at Central University, there's associate professor. He very crever man. But white people conspire to stop him moving up academic rank because he's Maori. I want him to have professorship now. His name is` - Yeah, yeah. Hold on, hold on. - Hold on? I won't fucking hold on! Hoy-ah! - I don't get this. What, are the Tan brothers Maori activists? - Nah. Asian. - What type of Asian? - Huh? - 'Asian' is a broad term that covers many different cultural groups. - Well, who gives a shit, really? Japanese, Chinese, Taiwanese ` they all look the same to me. - That's cos you're a moron. Ignorant son-of-a` - Paul Tan's old man was Tommy Tan. Distributed fruit and veg out of Otaki for years. Whole thing was a front for drugs. - He's in shit up to his ears, and he's still got time to make racial slurs. Paul Tan just messed with the wrong Maori. (TELEPHONE RINGS) You're not getting a fucking chopper. (CIGARETTE HISSES) (HANDSET CLATTERS) - (EXHALES, SNIFFS) Bloody redneck. Nobody speaks to Solomon Smith's high priest like that. - So it's High Priest now, is it? - I have always been the High Priest. - Yeah, well, it's not like anyone else applied for the job. - You don't even believe in Solomon Smith, do you?! - STEREO: # Whoa, yeah. # Yeah, yeah, yeah. # Whoa, # yeah. - (SHOES SQUEAK) (SCHLING!) # Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - RAPS: # Ooh, what a night this eve, # with the homies Jordache and Aaron on the beat. - WHISPERS: Spin to me! - # I ain't come to play around. # Steady, tryna think of... Spin! - # ...a place we can take it now. # Take it real slow. # Tryna be respectful too... - (GRUNTS) - # ...so I just suggest it to you like, # 'Do you wanna come sit over here and chill? # 'See, I got a friend that'll serve us drinks till he gets off.' - Swing to me, OK? - # I kinda think that you'd be best off # riding this thing out. There'll be less cost... - Like you're getting it on. - # ...for you, # and for me, I get the bonus ` the best view. # But I put the onus against you. - (GRUNTS) - Come on. - # No stress, though. # You can make your mind up what you wanna do. # I'm doin' me with this Heineken # till the night is done. - (GRUNTS) - Keep going. Keep going. - # But there's no denyin' # I like your company. - (LOUD WHIRRING) - # Can I get your name # and your number, say? Can I get a smile on your face? I'd pay... - (GRUNTS) Nearly. - # ...for a drink or two. # Just get to know me. Don't leave. - (BOTH GRUNT) - # No, no, no, # you got to indulge me. - (SAW GRINDS THROUGH BONE) # Can I get a smile on your face? # I'd pay for a drink or two. - (GRUNTS) - # Just get to know me. Don't leave. No, no, no, # you got to indulge me. - (BOTH GRUNT) # Take a sip ` go ahead. # Nah, I won't take advantage if it go to your head. # I'm opposed to that red wine ` just a little bit... - (GRUNTS ANGRILY) - # ...of that for me is bedtime. # Won't get ahead of myself. # I'm tellin' you I'm in for the long haul, # till the fat lady singin' the encore on tour. - (SIGHS) - # Oh, you really wanna know? # Cos, see, I don't think you do. You just really wanna show # that you ain't no, no, no # no young H-O... - (RINA GRUNTS) (CHAIN RATTLES) - # ...tryna hook up anything that's in the place, though. # No, you ain't gotta worry 'bout that, cos if I thought it, # I wouldn't really sit around and chat. # So just sit around and lap the attention up, # and don't worry ` ain't nobody gotta mention us. - (SAW GRINDS) - # That ascension buzz, cos we on the up and up. # So when you see me lookin', maybe you could pucker up. # Can I get your name and your number, say? # Can I get a smile on your face? # I'd pay` # (MUSIC STOPS) - Look, I know you've been through some terrible stuff since I was away. I know Mum fed you people and Dad fucked with your mind. But, please, we have to get out of here. Now. - I'm not 10 anymore, Rina. You can't tell me what to do. - Hey... I know Mr Updike did some pretty weird st` - Don't say his name! Don't you dare say his name. He's dead. He doesn't exist anymore. - But he did exist, didn't he? And he hurt you. Oh, my poor baby brother. - Why did you have to come back and mess everything up? - Glenn! (FOOTSTEPS RECEDE) - That went well (!) (FREEZER MOTORS HUM IN BACKGROUND) You're not the only one with a fucked-up family. Listen, I'm not gonna touch your mum or your brother, but your dad ` he'll hurt you if he isn't stopped. You have to hide. - MARGARET: Get the fuck out of my kitchen, you imbecile! - (CROCKERY SMASHES) - HEMI: You only exist because of Solomon! - (SMASHING CONTINUES) - Your stupid religion has destroyed us! - Dad? - (HEMI GRUNTS) (GRUNTS) You bloody whore! - Brute! - Dad. - Get out of my temple! - It is not a temple. - Dad. - It is a kitchen! - (SMASHING CONTINUES) - Dad! (SIGHS) I messed up. - It's all right, son. It's all right, my youngest. I'm sure you'll make it up to me. - I will, Dad. I promise. (SOFT, UNSETTLING MUSIC) - Glenn, come over here, baby. - He doesn't want to, Margaret. Do you, son? SOFTLY: Would you die for me, potiki? - I just wanna make you proud of me, Dad. - And you will. And you will, my son. - Glenn, get here now! - In Solomon's name! - (GRUNTS) - No! - Dad. - No! - (GRUNTS) - (BLADE THRUSTS) - No! - (GLENN CRIES OUT) (SQUELCHING) - GRUNTS: Get out. - SOBS: Noooo! - Ah! But this is the greatest of all of Solomon's gifts, my dear. - Monster! - Mm. (MUNCHES) - (SOBS) - By eating the still-beating heart of my youngest son, I'm halfway towards immortality. - You bastard! (SINISTER MUSIC) But I still need to drink the blood of my virgin daughter. - Is that why you sent me to a girls' boarding school? - That... and the excellent kapa haka team. (GROWLS) - Api was a magnificent lover! We met every day. Sometimes he was still in our bed when you came home. Oh... (MOANS) Oh, Api. Amore mio! - That slimy little bastard. - (YELLS) - (GRUNTS) (GRUNTING) (TENSE MUSIC) (MARGARET CRIES OUT) (GIGI GRUNTS) - (SCREAMS) - Mum! - (MARGARET GROANS) - Oops. (BOTH GRUNT) - (GROANS) (AGONISED GROANING CONTINUES) - Come to me, my virgin daughter. - I'm not a virgin. It's just a couple of times. In the showers. I accidentally fell into a girl's shampoo bo` - You liar! - (GASPS, WHIMPERS) - (GRUNTS) (GROWLS) (BOTH GRUNT) - Go, go, go, go! - Get in there. Back 'em up! Where are we at? AOS? - Put two officers in first. - I am... immortal! (GLASS SHATTERS, SMOKE HISSES) - (KNIVES SQUELCH) - (GRUNTS) (TENSE MUSIC) - I am Solomon Smith... (BREATHES HEAVILY) reincarnate. - (SCHLING!) (GRUNTS) (BOTH COUGH) - (MUFFLED SHOUTING) - MAN: Two! Three! (CRASH! GLASS SHATTERS) (TENSE MUSIC CONTINUES) - Check upstairs! - Go! Go! Go! Go! - (GRUNTS) (PANTS, COUGHS) - (SMOKE HISSES) (SMOTHERS COUGH) (TENSE MUSIC) (BREATHES HEAVILY) (SMOTHERS COUGH) (SCREAMS) (GRUNTS ANGRILY) (PANTS) - (GRUNTS) (SQUELCHING) (GRUNTS, PANTS) Maybe she isn't a virgin. SOFTLY: No, no, no, no. I just didn't drink enough of her blood. (INHALES SHARPLY) Te po ka tatai waka. - (SNIFFLES) - MARGARET: Rina. I will die before I let that monster hurt you. - HEMI, SING-SONG: Rina! - (SOFT FOOTSTEPS APPROACH) (SOFT, SINISTER MUSIC) - (GASPS) Mum! - (GRUNTS) - (CHUCKLES EVILLY) - You stay away from my daughter. Ha! (BOTH GRUNT) (CRIES OUT) - (KNIFE THRUSTS) (MARGARET GROANS) You'll rot in Hell! - You're wrong, Margaret. I will never die. (GRUNTS) - (WHINES) - Glory be to Solomon Smith. Ha! (BODY THUDS) (SOFT, SINISTER MUSIC) SING-SONG: Rina! Where are you? (EXHALES SOFTLY) - (BREATHES HEAVILY) - Rina? - (INHALES SHAKILY) (MECHANISM WHIRRS) - (BEEPING, RT CHATTER) - Boss! (TENSE MUSIC) (GAS HISSES) - Rina? SING-SONG: Where are you? (GAS HISSES) (SINISTER MUSIC) - (BREATHES SHAKILY) - Rina. Tau toto, hiahia ahau. - (INHALES SHARPLY) Rina. - (EXHALES SHAKILY) - You can't kill me. Rina, put the gun down. I will never die. Never. You wouldn't, would you? - You wanna bet? Goodbye, fucked-up family. - (GAS HISSES) (BANG!) (BULLET WHOOSHES) (FIRE HISSES, RUMBLES) (CRASH!) - (INFERNO ROARS) - Noooooooooooooooooooooo! (URGENT, INDISTINCT CHATTER; RINA COUGHS) - Stay away from the back! - Get 'em out of there! - All, right, everyone... - (INDISTINCT SHOUTING CONTINUES) - (COUGHS) (COUGHS, PANTS) - Good work, officer. Hey! You two! Check the house! (INDISTINCT SHOUTING CONTINUES) - Oh... - I know where you get your special powers from. Here. - OFFICER OVER RT: Gas. It's gas. - Gas! Gas! It's gonna go again! Move out! (EXPLOSION BOOMS) - # ...where our pictures never fade # and our hearts don't lie. # Won't you stay awhile # and watch our world go by? # I'll keep holdin' on to you # and your Saturday smile. # Has our autumn died? # Help me find you again. # I think it's love. (BIRDS TWITTER) - Huh. - # I think it's love # that gets us through... - Shaun's. - # ...all our goodbyes. # So when we die... - (CRIES OUT) - (GASPS) (BOTH PANT) (BOTH LAUGH) - # I'll think of love # and thoughts of you # to lay me down. # I think it's love # that keeps us new. # (BIRDS TWITTER) (MONSTROUS ROAR, RINA SCREAMS) (SCREAM ECHOES, STOPS) (WIND WHISTLES) - Te po ka tatai waka! (COUNTRY ROCK MUSIC) Captions by Maeve Kelly. Captions were made with the support of NZ On Air.